Friday, May 18, 2007

Reporting the news

Struggling to squeeze anything out of the day, I've been looking at a variety of new blogs, all local as that's all I can link to thanks to a totally different website. Some are good but none quite worth linking. But it does show that blogging is still alive and possibly this new version is what's killed this. Of course most people give up within a year or less, probably got better things to do, but you still see busy people who blog and it really doesn't take long.

Technically I haven't done much anyhow since the last visit but it's a bit dead at the moment and this was the one place I can do something about it. I admit that I think the other side of my work here has virtually ended, the philosophy. Reporting current events depends on having any and not everyone wants to hear what I did in school 30 years ago. OK, I could be in bed but due to a mug of hot milk have to wait till it's finished. These details are what can make or break a blog, or your conversation in general. But this isn't a conversation, especially with the lack of comments, so hard luck.
Plans for the future have little water to hold either, especially as there are none of them left either. At this point in the past I've entered publish and lost a post, usually as it's better not said. But we all dry up at times and it's my turn tonight.

Technically if you read any paper 90% or more of the material is based on invention as little actually happens and what does (ie how many people were blown up in Iraq) isn't usually worthy of reporting. If anyone can tell me what goes on in Iraq that actually affects us here I'd offer the £1million prize, if I had it. So they talk about how fat people are and how children are having sex even earlier and unfortunately most mugs accept this as being as important as the rare item that actually is. This is sad and only reflects the lack of intelligence or depth in the way people judge what really makes any difference and is worth reporting. The reporters know it's crap and get paid so much managing to keep 100 pages full every day while giving the impression something's actually going on. Jose Mourinho's dog. Well that's really fascinating. If some Romanian had smuggled a dog here they'd have the dog put down and give the Romanian a flat. If Mourinho does it, or they even think he has, the whole media world has an orgasm. Please. This is as good as it usually gets. How many front page headlines will it get tomorrow? Foreign man with good job's dog disappears. Blimey.

You see now how similar our positions are. They invent crap or report irrelevances, and I try and make something from very little without straying into wanker territory. If the Daily Mail or even better The Times started dropping words like this into their articles, 'Tony Blair is an arrogant cocksucker' or 'Using the Tube in London is an experience of total shit' I may overlook a little of the cack they are actually reporting as it would at least make it a little more interesting. eg


Posthumous reports have finally discovered documents proving the late Prime Minister Edward Heath was actually an uphill gardener, like we all thought but weren't allowed to say in case we had the arse sued off us. Close friends said 'We all knew he was a raving Nancy boy, but due to national security, ie the fact they would have fitted us up for serious crimes, we decided to keep it quiet'. But letters written to such celebrities as Frankie Howerd, Kenneth Williams and even a young Michael Barrymore professing his love and recounting many experiences shared while romping naked putting it up the wrong 'un have finally confirmed what we all guessed but could never actually say, without the fear of losing lots of sponsorship. But now the bugger's dead we can say whatever we like. Thank fuck for that.

Not very pretty, but I respect the attitude and it's how most Sun readers would have put it anyway.

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