Saturday, March 29, 2008

Progress or not

Yes I have returned. If anyone thinks my stories are boring you should just try living them instead. Thinking of new things to do every day on your own while promises of media success fade into oblivion is a lot harder than reading about it. And I may start banning anonymous comments again if people haven't got the balls to firstly speak as themselves and secondly write a blog of their own.

I've actually been pretty busy since then, just little local trips but found various little things along the way including an amazing painting for next to nothing I'm now looking for a place to hang. One person I've been waiting for is now around although we haven't arranged an actual meeting date yet. Other than that it's officially less than 3 months till the Ministry of Defence release their first UFO files, and that is what my newspaper article is about. Now if they don't publish it by then it's not going to look very clever. I assume they will know before everyone else with official sources (and unofficial) so will be ready to print, although they said they wanted it done before their release. Not a bloody clue.

It's pretty clear ahead so far (including work wise). I can't think of one profession less reliable than being a therapist as you never know how many times people will come or where the new ones will arrive from. Advertising has no effect and nearly all my customers are from a national directory everyone finds when looking for someone. For those who questioned my credentials to practice I may as well present them now in case there was any doubt.

I finished my degree in law, and rather than become a solicitor after a tough year's further study I preferred to return to my original interest and took a 3 year part time certificate and diploma at counselling at what is now (as is my polytechnic) a university. I then took hypnotherapy and psychotherapy courses to reach the top level of accredited counsellor. That's as good as it gets and the jobs are still nearly impossible to get as the few there are either want women, ethnic minorities, female ethnic minorities or ex drug addicts. ie nothing that applies to me. Plus many jobs advertised are for volunteers. 6 years as a volunteer before and after qualifying was quite enough for me and you never see jobs advertised for volunteers in any other profession, but they think 'counsellors=mugs'. The government do as they haven't recognised it as a profession at all so technically you don't get anything for a qualification, hence my lack of a job.
I worked in a shop while getting the post diploma experience and extra qualifications needed to progress, I was made redundant, applied for hundreds of jobs, got 3 interviews and eventually 1 job in another shop (manager this time) which lasted a week before the place was closed down.

But the media connections I've made since then, although paid not a button or a biscuit have guaranteed three TV appearances show worldwide and another in the pipeline. The fact I've even been used for a national paper article, used or not, means the potential is there, and that would be what is needed to move from unknown volunteer seen by thousands to paid professional seen by millions. I don't know whether this is my only chance to get there, or others may arise afterwards, but job or no job it would have been impossible to do the research and travel London following up experts who claim amazing powers and ufo experiencers. It's not about working, it's about paying the bills. And if you can pay the bills without a job then you lot (you know who you are) should be worshipping me and others like me, not vice versa as you believe. Who's the mug here, you lot working 40+ hours a week with a mortgage hanging over you or me wondering what to do with all my free time?

Maybe the nasty face of jealousy has arisen...

Saturday, March 22, 2008

To all readers this applies to

Interesting. I have to go over the last comments individually here as so much was raised.

Firstly I am relieved people still come here, when I added the counter I had 50 hits a day for almost a year. Then through no fault of my own blogger disabled profile links for a year and the place went down the toilet. Since they returned it's been very slow to recover.

It is interesting, however accurate the observations, how some people (and thank goodness a vocal minority) feel drawn to judge anyone not like them, and under the cowardly cover of anonymity. The old rule 'if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all' is as foreign to them as Australia is to me. But they also clearly haven't the balls to write about their own lives but use others who do to make them feel better about theirs.

This site was created as one of the rare free gifts in the world. Most others have paid upgrades, spyware or other unwanted catches, but blogger has none and never has. So I take full advantage of it, no posting limits, no regulation. How much better could it be? So feel free to observe people's lives who have gone in a totally different (but probably no worse and possibly a lot better) way to your own but just think, how would I feel if I was in the same position?

Thursday, March 20, 2008

What a week (and it's only Wednesday)

Am I on the verge of insanity? Talking to myself (this is no different) is my last resort, if the cat's here it seems OK as there's a recipient who does listen although she barely understands. And the viewing figures here are worrying now as well, although they are higher than the corresponding comments.

So, nothing's happened full stop. I make my own news and have a list of jobs I'd rather not do and are mainly for following rules and regulations, not choice. Plus people I don't want to see really if I contact them. That has kept me to taking photos and doing housework this week and really aren't sure whether the newspaper article will be used now although it's a whole week's feature. Without that I have my minor projects, a TV programme that's a spark in the mind of the producer at the moment, seeing myself on a DVD if it ever gets here, and meeting a few new people I do want to. Plus one I have met already. Those are the possibles but only the newspaper and woman will make much difference, plus one other person. I have a huge collection of pretty good photos now, and one job is taking the albums to a local shop to try and sell plus more to the library. Then the next album is ready to create, in fact probably the next two as one is a different theme.

So tomorrow has got me to the point of having little else to do besides this job which will be good if works, even though they do sale or return and even a sale is at cost price as I pay retail already, my work is being seen. They're in two places so far and do get good feedback the rare times I get any. I can only plan ahead a day at a time as it takes all my resources to get enough for one day before I do the next. That's good as it's living in the present, although the lack of good news is not making it the quality it could be. I've had no work for 2 weeks but don't mind, although one person is pissing me around majorly and that is unfair. Beyond the call of duty. I've done little bits of tidying although how larger items like trousers and filofaxes can vanish along with smaller like pens I'll never know. The five people here on New Year's Eve were honest enough when my Parker vanished although I was warned one was not what she seems. I hope she didn't take it and still can't imagine what else could have happened to it. Not a personal favourite but a Parker is a Parker.

Other than that next month the results come out of the photo competition I entered but have slightly more chance getting in the finals than I would in the lottery. There are more articles coming out where top scientists are slowly beginning to stand up against the global warming con, and they all go in my file and website. Think about it, a few more parts per million of a natural and essential gas causing slightly higher temperatures like we had thousands of years ago is not something to get worried or excited about. But it provides a fantastic excuse to tax us and persecute third world economies who are catching us up. And divert us from real issues we could do something about. Even in Darfur and Rwanda before it the UN keep their distance as they wouldn't dare touch their fellow Muslims when they are ripping people's heads off. No, far more important to stop westerners using their cars and stop us throwing away our toxic rubbish for two weeks. Those are real policies compared with saving lives where they might get hurt and suffer in trying to do so. Like the police, always go for the easy targets.

So, after 20-30 years the world has become a really nasty place. When I remember the relative innocence of the 60s and 70s where you had the bad guys (Russia, Cuba, Vietnam etc) and the good guys (everyone else) we knew where we stood. A few politicians were crooked and lost their careers as a result. Now it comes with the job. Not to mention the overpopulation which is the real cause of oil and resource shortages. Will they do a thing to stop that? The hell they will. Only China tried to keep their population down and were widely condemned for doing the only sensible thing they've done in my lifetime. Sometimes the truth hurts and for some reason I am more aware of it than most. My gift and my burden. But truth is the most powerful thing there is, but means the liars will try and get you silenced and their victims will believe it's you and not them who are lying. But you can't pretend you're not pregnant for long and you can't pretend the world climate is going down the toilet either when after so many years nothing happens.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Insulting times

I am running out of things to do. Leisure is great especially if you're still paying your bills, but there's only so much you can do on your own. Believe it or not my latest trip is from a group which collects photos of London postcodes. So I'll drive round as many as I can until they have them all from the members. Otherwise I'd have nowhere at all left to go. I've been all over the place taking photos and videos, and found a Beatles shop with all their old pictures (copies) this week at the station for Abbey Road, and may now spend a packet (for me) on posters from the company who made them.

How your life is shown up under a spotlight when you're relying on one thing to happen to change your life (which usually doesn't, as in this case) makes you realise how little there actually is. OK it's flexible, people do come and go all the time and having decided having dubious people around is far worse than no one as you can do as you please has meant currently all I see is my family. I really wonder now if the newspaper will use the article or it was just another possible project if they decided people would like it enough. Tragic really if so. Now I know my programme for Sky TV (which wasn't going on TV) was not shown as the production company went bust it does explain their reluctance to communicate with me. I assumed it was Sky who were pissing around but they told me they have to wait till the series is finished, which is currently being done, so they tell me. I've still had no DVD of my 3rd TV showing in America, that's after being told they didn't even want me to have one. I am working with some total spastics here and no mistake. At least in the blog world you're still able to use words like spastic, cretin and mongol and the worst that can happen is someone makes a comment, which would be the first for months so please do, it means someone's actually read it.

Anyone over 40 will remember the innocence of the playground where we had spastic and racist jokes and people freely called each other morons, imbeciles, cretins, mongols, spastics, cripples, and anything else from a Victorian medical dictionary. Now it's non PC you can easily go to a primary school in the poorer parts of Britain and instead of them you'll hear 'fucking cocksucker' 'motherfucker' 'retard' and 'your mother's a whore'. Now can anyone honestly tell me these American and Arabic imports are actually better than innocent medical terminology for the mentally ill from the 1800s? No you can't. If you create a hole something else will fill it, and if you decide to criticise one of the little darlings on a bus for vandalising it or having the music on too loud you'll discover exactly what I mean. "Go fuck yourself loser" is a lot worse then someone waving their arms around making spastic noises. You can't stop kids being nasty, all you can do is change the nature of how they do it.
Political correctness is for the totalitarian dictatorships and not the once free boroughs of London now under the gulag mentality Ken Livingstone and (restricted) Transport for London. They are the true fascists and by restricting what normal people say and do, ie speak and travel, they are demonstrating who the true arseholes are.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Makes a change

Oh christ on a bike... Big Brother's on TV in advance now, from America. Total crap but means I have to stop it taking over my life again. One which, through living 20 minutes from the house, has overlapped somewhat with my own in the last few years.

Anyway. My first year at college was spent training to be an accountant. Although I switched due to lack of technical ability, my desire to organise and represent everything in life remains. My current week is very much a debit and credit list. On the debit side not one of my media projects is in contact with me so I have no idea if they'll happen next week, next month or not at all. I have now reached the stage where they literally may lead to fame so bloody important ones now. I also found someone who paid me compliments way over the top of reality finally told me what a cunt she's thought I was for some time (my paraphrase, hers was worse!), which came as no surprise, the only surprise was that she kept coming back for more before she finally cracked. Big deal.

On the plus side I got both my mail orders from abroad today and now have two little model rabbis on my windowsill. I've got a book from the 70s probably arriving tomorrow as well I used to read constantly at school but never bought, although I bought another in the series. They probably cost the equivalent of £20 each at the time so probably explains why I could only stretch to one. I have pretty little to do this week so far, business or pleasure, but always make the most of the freedom whatever the potential. I'm planning a tour of the cafes that have sprung up in the local parks, although I recently gained 2 inches round my waist. Being underemployed and single means you have to make the best of very little for a very long time.

In the month or two since I did my newspaper interview I've kept extremely busy and forced myself to compensate for having no hope besides a single issue, which is competely tragic. No newspaper but my life has been dragged into near normality by sheer effort and making something out of very little things like riding the bike and shopping in Golders Green. The small collection of old TV videos I've also picked up along the way has helped, so they are no longer distant memories but available at any time, and whole episodes unlike Youtube. In the 31/2 years since I started here few posts have been positive, and probably with good reason at the time. So today is, although fairly neutral I am trying to be the balance between neutral and positive. Just shows what's possible. I just hope a few people read it here to find out.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Religion and more

Firstly, two observations on religion. One, we pour scorn in tribal religions and sun worshippers, but what on earth difference are they from our modern or popular ones? Are the bible stories any less outlandish or have I missed something.
If you compare the delusions of the average schizophrenic there is little difference besides the huge number who accept the religious ones.
Next, the comfort God gives to his followers is no different to a sugar pill. If you look close enough at religion it's founded on nothing. There's nothing there. If people have found a way to feel good for no reason then just use that without the nonsense.

Now back to reality. My neighbour pissed around on the computer yesterday and it's running around 250hz now. No idea why but something's got in. I can't even do a virus scan as it's too slow for that. I cleaned the disk but no effect. System restore next step.

Otherwise it's been another busy week, and got a few essential jobs out of the way. One was returning a library book to my school after 37 years. I knew it was here but hadn't got round to taking it until I had to contact them about something else. The secretary was pretty nice as well. A good reason to return for the full tour I turned down today (nowhere to park for starters). I've really narrowed down my list of awaited news to two items. The rest are irrelevant. All that's happened so far is my 3rd pair of Status Quo tapes arrived to replace the lost or damaged ones from the past. I already heard last week why my 4th TV programme hadn't been shown, the firm went broke before completing the series so totally down to them to fix it now it's been passed along. No more plans now, none. OK, two minutes on Monday to fill a prescription. Two visitors couldn't make it midweek, one being a relief as has now become a pest, so I've completed all my work virtually alone, as usual for the current period of time.

Of course timing is irrelevant in my career, if a project is completed when is not important. What is important is the current one is the biggest ever and my first newspaper job. Meanwhile after thinking I could catch up with last year's series of Grange Hill after I discovered there was one came to a halt on the second day when they stopped it as it was about suicide. Pathetic. No idea if they will show it now, or if before the new and final series in April.
I can't see ahead besides having to wait in for the cleaner tomorrow. More than that I cannot say. The week was fine really and I just hope the rewards are next. It's been a long time coming if it is.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb

Yes, I've just found a Trumpton video, with my favourite songs and episodes. Felt just like the first time I saw them in 1967 again. You can't return to the 60s but you can bring it here.

On other business I've got a little further on one TV programme, turns out the company got into difficulties when filming and had to pass it along so still hasn't been completed. Nothing to do with the TV people but the producers. I guessed as much and very lucky they haven't dropped it as well. So really three projects on the go, this is taken care of, the other is done but I haven't seen it and the third is the big one should it come off. All I will say for now.

Little work jobs this week, more than usual. Slightly. One delivery came today when I wasn't there but I'm trying the redelivery service online for the first time. Worth a try. I expect it's my 3rd set of Status Quo tapes, having lost or melted the last two over about a 20 year period. Don't leave tapes in the car outside the glove box as they will melt in the sun. Money down the drain. I'm even going to bed a little earlier as I want to do a delivery before my first appointment if possible and can't get up late if I do. I have two more mail orders coming from abroad who knows when and only Uri Geller's more clairvoyant guide knows when anything else on the list will happen. Actually no one can see the future, and even when someone has planned a date they rarely bother to tell the others involved as I've discovered when my TV programmes have been shown before I knew about them. Or in one case put online without telling any of the participants. I was only mentioned in them but nonetheless the people in them would never have known had I not found them by accident.

Little else from day one of week whatever it is 2008, except two people said they'd be seeing me last month and being now this month did not happen. That's the one big problem with the internet, we meet loads of interesting people but almost impossible to meet them. So meanwhile I discover new cafes in parks in Golders Green and Hendon, take photos of stations in Willesden and even now tidy my house. I've lost more things than I've found or put away and doubt anyone pinched most, mainly as not many people come here. Well not ones I'd suspect anyway. Where the Parker pen went the night I had 5 of said people over is still unknown and none of them are like that but it's now vanished from the very room we were in and no answers yet. And my new trousers from my bedroom. Happened all my life really and some reappear years later.