Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Organising my plans

Blimey I've been busy since my last entry. On Saturday it was hot and sunny and I managed to arrange painting the sign at the library which now looks great, and met a lovely woman there as well (more when there's anything to report there as no idea if she's even free). Sunday was a standard road check for old signs in Weybridge (negative) but kept me ON the streets (ha ha). Then I went to Clapham to get my first old sign with catseyes built in although I already have 10 No Through Road signs this was quite different. I got lots of nice photos of people and places as well there. Then I lifted 2 1/2 kilos over my body weight (I'm not sure if I did 77.5 before but have now). On the way home the North Circular was closed and had to divert round Ealing. First I found another lovely striped pole with a new sign on it, and then what may well be an old subway sign I must go and check. And work tomorrow. So a pretty full weekend and more like real life again for a change.

So, although my plans don't stretch beyond the day they have been working, I'm trusting it more partly as it's worked and partly as I can't plan or expect beyond tomorrow as no circumstances allow for it. OK I'm taking my grandma shopping on Thursday but that's the lot. And it meant I had to either shift or lose another arrangement but she's 99 and comes first.
I will say I've had two pretty big aims using The Secret (or just as they would happen anyway) come to reality and am still adding more to see if it is from that with more and more data. I also read that when you realise your life is guided (as I did) don't assume it's stopped when things go funny as it soon comes back as it seems to. I will see as I go along. I will be visiting Wingate and Finchley FC again assuming they play another league team this summer as well.

So, quite a bit crammed in to a short period and now it's bedtime and my mind's blank, of course I want to go and check the sign when I can simply as the others didn't always survive long after I discovered them and aren't sure it's a real one either as the style I know is different. My nature is to do things straight away, had it been an obvious old sign I'd have stopped but being on a dual carriageway at night wasn't a good idea anyway at 40 mph as well. I've seen so many signs online in the evening and got them by bedtime as I was free, including one in Alperton I Streetviewed but wasn't there anymore when I got there. And when there's less to distract me (people, sex etc) then if I have a goal of any size I try and get it done straight away as the alternative is to me wasting time or doing things I'd prefer to do after. But the upside means emails and letters get replied to straight away as do most other tasks others set me. God help me if I expect the same from others as very few people seem to share this trait with me. Take your time, it's not important, what's the hurry etc.

I'm still watching more and more enlightenment teachers online, and does seem to be something we only become aware of when the obstacles created by the mind are gone, so a process of removing rather than learning and adding anything. Observation and any similar practises should gradually clear the fog from the truth and once it shows you'll never be in doubt again. I've seen fuck all of this of course (I can ration the words but won't ban them as every other site does that for me so why be hogtied on my own?) although am well aware of the earlier highs through meditation. These are not the normal highs from experiences but way beyond and probably not accessible without working at it. But they are just variations on existing themes and no more enlightenment than any other experience. I've never felt or known what the teachers describe but pretty certain it exists now I've seen it described by hundreds of different people. I may well be on the edge for what I know as I seem more ready than before. How my life, blogs and personality would be should that happen won't be known till it does, but few if anyone moans about life once it does happen as there's nothing to moan about.

I've heard teachers swear as well by the way as it's part of communication, not unenlightened rudeness. That's to show us people don't all turn into Jesus (god forbid!) or Buddha but are the same people who are now enlightened. It makes me think of what would happen if Woody Allen became enlightened, it would be a whole new chapter of stories.
"My mother can't understand how I can still be enlightened and Jewish, she says I must have become a goy if I talk about all this nonsense as it's not in the torah. But cunnilingus isn't in the torah but that's never stopped me. Not that I've shared that with her, but she wouldn't have understood even if I had. She'd have thought it was a type of lockshen." etc.

Well there are millions of alternatives ahead for me, there's a diagram where the line goes up at an angle with time and down, and the higher up the line the less chance of any event on it happening. There's a name for the shape but not sure besides it's a triangle on its side. That applies to all futures, more is always possible with time but always more likely to be along the horizontal 'obvious/likely' level. So for instance tomorrow or the next day I should get the next sign and do my work and then take my grandma out as the odds are likely and close in time. Then in addition to that I may ask out the woman I just met but only if single and not sure when. And the chances she accepts are maybe half so some way above horizontal etc etc. And something like enlightenment or similar have no timescale and near the top limit of the line as although theoretically possible not particularly likely (although now that one may be). Then outside the diagram entirely are those things you'd like but couldn't happen (above) and those fears that are so wild they are impossible (below the line on the negative side). The best possible but unlikeliest events line the top edge at the likeliest possible time point, the ones that are almost bound to happen are along the middle and the unlikely crap like getting the flu or sack are on the mirror level under the line in the same way. If I could draw it here it would save all the descriptions but a free blog does not include fancy graphics.

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