Wednesday, June 30, 2010

A mess of ideas

I'm currently being taught by someone from Facebook- I had reached a point where everything about my progress had stuck, and rather than wait and see what happened am being given little ways I may be able to free that progress up. Otherwise life is pretty much as usual, my time is being booked up now for each day, all routine stuff but at least avoids me staying here on the computer or having to think of places to go on my own.

There may well be a single intelligence behind everything which makes anything happen, once you see that it's no easier, but can see there has to be more. You can learn the same thing in hard or easy ways in many cases, I am getting a bit too old for the hard way now, I do believe it's probably possible to do nothing the hard way but that is reserved for a few only. The minimum of suffering is required at the beginning just to appreciate the lack of it, but from then on the memory of it should be enough. You shouldn't need to suffer for a sense of achievement, but for the achievement itself. That intelligence has already demonstrated to me what it can do, and so far all by the grace of god, ie at god's will unrelated to what I do or not. A good start but it's easy to forget that's there when everything returns to how it was before. I do look for more in it now but if something's so small you can't be sure it's even there it's not enough to know.

Each situation you're in, especially the bad ones have a timescale, but you can't know it in advance. It appears it will never change, some don't and others suddenly stop. I've been living on my own now 18 years and may well for the rest of my life. We have world governments restricting our lives for the climate, that may change but maybe not within my lifetime. Our roads have humps like cancer, one borough has started removing them but no others. That has changed but only marginally and locally. But there's no inherent clues how long each situation will last. Some are clearly built on shakier foundations than others but are propped up to keep them from being swept away by that. I can't bear to hear lies being treated like truth and the people telling them being treated like heroes. The day Al Gore goes behind bars will be the day the world wakes up, he represents everything which is wrong with society in every single culture on earth. He is a one person example of greed, manipulation, hypocrisy, and being rewarded for doing so. If money was the cure to global warming he could have fixed it with his own if he really believed it, but he sells himself to spread his brand of religion and keeps every penny for Gore industries. That aside, I see the outer blockages reflected in me as inner blockages. Neither seem to shift at will and sometimes you turn round one day and see they've gone. I talk about it partly as by doing so it focuses the mind on it and may allow a solution to pop up.

So it's one of those rare periods where I have no problems and no presents. Just time. I learn a little but not enough to change anything. I have a collection of people who need me, either occasionally or all the time, and although they mean no harm can become a real pest when I get little or nothing in return. Not even from them as takers are rarely givers as well, but even from many givers. Rather than a return system it's a chain, we each help those below us and in turn are helped by those above us. It's rare for people to be able to work as equals and not fair to expect anything back from the people who are tuned in to taking. I'd love to tell each one in turn to give me a break, but as they have no idea they're doing it would only take it personally and cut me off. Unfortunately these make up nearly all the people I mix with at the moment so it's them or nothing. And the fact I am patient with them means they also assume I don't mind the time spent on their issues, and while others probably make excuses or change their phone numbers I do give the impression I'm happy to listen unless I'm watching TV. If they actually responded to any of the things I suggest it would be better but mostly it's a rubbish dumping exercise and although they seem to want help and advice can't seem to do what they do to get into trouble in any other way. The problems return and they come back to me (and maybe others as well). We all have a few but at the moment it seems no one else wants to call.

So far the next two days have no potential excitement, but then again excitement rarely gives itself any advance warning. You can find a gold ring in a dog turd but would rather someone else wiped it off before I touched it. I don't know if I look for fuel to be cynical or am being fairly reasonable under the circumstances. If whatever came to me in the last dream with a gift can do it once then was it something I did or was it just my turn? But I know it's there now so it can't turn its back and pretend it's not there any more. I don't think I'd take advantage of any power now, I think I can handle it safely.

Friday, June 25, 2010

The story so far...

I can't go out as I'm waiting for a washing machine to be delivered, hot and sunny and a job to do but not yet. So with Brazil playing Portugal (I think both have qualified so probably not worth watching) I return here.

My global warming campaign is reaching a conclusion. I've been given a simple mission, to find the figures to bust apart the CO2 equation. Not being a scientist, even though to most intelligent people it's painfully obvious a small increase in a trace gas with a low warming potential can't be measured in its effects, but I'm not a scientist with the numbers to show it, and am asking them one by one until I can get one to help.

I am hopefully now able to look at the world in a totally different way. If there's an intelligence guiding everything then we really don't have a lot of say in what happens as when it chooses to provide then it does it with no work at all from us. And apparently when it chooses not to then we are wasting our time trying to change it. Ideally we'd choose what we want and then let the system provide it for us but that's what we all want. But the minimum now would be able to communicate with that power and bring in more information to make things I do easier.

For instance. I don't want to see the global warmists win. Our lives would be in poverty, all energy would be rationed and we'd have a rich elite and poor masses just like Cuba or Soviet Russia. And worst of all the liars would have won. Might is Right is fine for Goebbels but we don't want a repeat of Nazi Germany worldwide this time do we?
I've now had two dreams of the red triangle signs. So far every dream of a sign has soon been followed by the real one, so there's no reason why this should be any different. It was the first sign I was aware of as on the same block where I lived and still there until around 2005. I have three so far, but one is damaged, another is a text only rather than a picture as well and the third is a modern replica. I still need a complete graphic one like the one near me, and thank goodness I have an identical one as well but without a triangle, but got the main part I needed.
Someone did just find one in the worst part of London to get to, but was removed last year. I don't know if that was good or bad, plus there are three direction signs on the same road, but too late to care now. I've been Streetviewing for it constantly with no result, but the last one I got was found by someone else and I'd already looked along that road but was covered by a tree. Again, it came to me rather than me doing the work. Patience needed apparently.

So today is apparently guided to keep me at home till the last minute, whether there's a reason or not I won't know till later, but a good way to show me another example. The system can't have it both ways once it's revealed itself.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Total psychic control

I have my freedom now and making the best of it. I've had no actual ideas since and been busy working at my late grandparents', as I expect to most days this week, but my teeth are OK. One thing I have discovered is I can class myself as an intuitive now as seen enough proved correct to know it. The number of things I can simply know regardless of why or how, which then become exactly as I saw them has shown me I am not just intuitive as we all are, but in touch with it.

Here's another example of the world of films becoming the world of my own. I dreamed about a broken sign to the North Circular Road near me and thinking it's got a bit missing but a very good one. Then I saw the real one in a book, assuming that was the dream's purpose. Then I drove to the end of a road I use every week or so leading to the North Circular (I live half a mile from it) and as I had to wait longer than usual for the traffic suddenly caught sight of the exact sign including missing end as the dream, hidden partly behind a central barrier added since. As I had no recollection of ever having seen it (you can't see it passing by as hidden) it seems that something had shown me everything it could do.

It: 1) Knew where the sign was
2) Knew I needed to know
3) Was able to show me in a dream
4) Was able to arrange for me to find it

That covers every single aspect of life. Telepathy, omniscience and creation. It only leaves the question who is the infinite intelligence which was able to do this? It's either a higher part of me or an external intelligence. Either way it's awesome and means it can do this for everything else as well. It's not yet anything I have any say in, I'm just the observer, but knowing that the whole of life is apparently arranged by a single intelligence means it's all being moved around whatever we think we're doing. Think of the implications of that.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Back despite non events

Besides an incredibly efficient trip to the dentist (quick, no injection, no pain) not a lot's happened since last time but if I start then something should still happen here. A lot to do at grandma's house tomorrow so no other plans besides that, but it has to be done. It's on the market now but no offers yet. But I'll always appreciate the freedom after 2 weeks waiting for dental appointments, the hygienist follows but nothing worrying there. Of course I'd still like more but hopefully more content with all there actually is.

I've been relaxing on twitter for a week or so taking the total piss out of the climate change mob. The total dross they link as if it's from the new New Testament by Jesus Gore himself is like watching the lunatics in Victorian asylums. I even start to believe it after a while, like hospital visitors do in psychiatric wards, but like them, it wears off soon after I leave. The clairvoyant drivel they spout, where thousands of academics paid for by you and me spend a few days in a hotel somewhere in a tourist spot guessing what may happen so they can get governments to do more (actually it's 'steal' more) to stop it happening, tells me every time why I do all I can to wake these total witless babies up. They don't think at all. Stop and look at the data. You can't see ahead in an open system, it may get you the weather over a few days (not in the UK though) as it's travelling in a fairly predictable direction, but that's the best they can do. Sea level predictions, despite being a few inches a century since Jesus lived, hook in all the poor sods who don't realise the only measurement that counts is today's compared with the past. If that's the same as it always has been then forget what they tell you as they don't have the ability to know, it's outside our scope.

But I've picked up a handful of followers there this week and a few compliments so not all wasted effort, and it's fun. I'm not trying to be rude or hurt anyone, it's similar to the army trying to defuse a ticking bomb, but with humour. They want to blow up civilised society to stop the climate blowing up civilised society, except the difference being they can do it and have already done a bloody good job. Apart from China there's no legislation on population, and none I know banning building on flood plains. If you built on a minefield and then moaned when a mine went off everyone would turn their backs and walk away, yet when whole cities are built in the mouths of river deltas and the like it's our job to subsidise them if they go under. That's not a fair deal is it? And not being a scientist I'm not going to learn the science they are using to guess the effects of a little more CO2 as it's degree level, but the difference between the equations they do present and common sense allow me to take them apart after the event. I do want a scientist to help me but they don't grow on trees.

So to follow the 2,500 scientists sent to throw dice to imagine future sea levels long after we're all dead, I'll think of a few plans of my own. I'm looking down every road within 40 miles in case more old signs turn up, writing articles from time to time, have three official forms to fill in over the next week or two, and meditating more again which may even have caused me to feel a lot calmer recently. I'll book up the check up now I'm free so I can get another supply of tablets, an eye test which I doubt will provide anything new but at least is free. I used to have a few pairs of frames but since I need £100+ lenses it's just the essentials. I had a plastic frame option as I prefer them but since they broke they're all metal now but very good ones. The photochromics are in a gold pair I got for £10 plus lenses, as I can still find frame bargains but can't afford the extra pairs of lenses to fill them now. If there's anything else I can't think of it, besides a football friendly or two next month when the pre season starts. Now I'll see what everyone else has written, I've got to get used to looking here now as well.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Where I get to share a Nobel Prize

I return. Remember I still blog at FT in the virtuals so this is the wider and slightly less restrained version. Maybe more than slightly but it's not someone else's site so why not.

Besides the daily routine I've had the usual investigations of the current global warming scene, and had it been a film or book the quotes they've been tweeting would have been pure comedy. 'The effects of global warming on water' was my favourite today. Ever seen a kettle? Fuck me... Anyway, one by one people are sending me little messages from the #climatechange page encouraging me, apparently I'm not actually pissing people off but doing some kind of a service. You do not spend five years part time studying psychology and hypnosis without understanding human manipulation. The standard hypnotic phrases and sentences are so familiar to anyone who's done a weekend NLP (programming the mind) course it's incredible how these sheep retweet every single (little word you can guess at's) well-sponsored study about how you get more sand in your navel at the beach or walruses' moustaches are getting shorter thanks to global warming. My examples aren't actually any less incredible than the real ones, and the cashflow into these arseholes who know full well they'd be lecturing stoned students on a flat rate had this goldmine not come about should be diverted back to the poor people sequestred to pay their windfall wages. That's me and you by the way. That's why I take it all personally.

It's finally the dentist tomorrow, that'll be like Androcles and the lion for any claustrophobic like me, when the thorn has finally been removed from my mind. More work at my late grandma's Friday and no idea beyond. I hope I'll appreciate the normal days after tomorrow with no distractions from them any more. I do intend to anyway. And meanwhile they can give me a Nobel Prize for my services to global warming. I said 'there isn't any global warming' and like magic there wasn't. Sometimes the simple approach is the best. Cooling-warming- what's the difference really- it's all change anyhow!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The evidence for global warming

Yes, global warming, the long forgotten theoretical driving force of climate change, caused by the even longer forgotten greenhouse effect. Climate change is the first part of the truncated phrase, 'Climate change due to global warming' which is impossible not to happen if literally applied to the climate.

Global warming is divided in two parts, the theory and the resulting evidence. Maybe 80% of the majority of articles I've read on it base their evidence on theory, with the remainder being a scattering of examples to demonstrate how it 'must' therefore be happening. The theory in turn is divided in two parts, the mathematics and the projections. If you apply physics to any substance it will behave perfectly on paper and more or less perfectly in a controlled experiment. If not then they need more work to pass the level required to be a scientific theory. If you transfer these experiments from the lab to the atmosphere you suddenly multiply the influences many thousandfold. These are still more or less measurable for vast or very short term influences, but the scientists here are referring to a small additional amount of CO2 (the other gases are treated separately), claiming a few percent extra (man adds 3% to the 0.03% it currently makes up) is capable of producing a significant rise in temperature. If a volcano erupts you see the changes for a while as a sudden output of material is present and the results easily measured. But a gradual increase in a relatively poor insulating gas over centuries, combined with solar, oceanic and as yet unknown influences appears not to be capable of any such measurement.

The mechanics of chaos theory were demonstrated by the effects of tiny actions on the climate as a whole. One can reverbarate globally, so combine that by millions and you have a lot of competing influences. Every significant one must be factored into every CO2 equation, as outside a greenhouse the effect is joined by countless other effects. I doubt the combined power of the world's computers are sufficient to calculate a model of it all, in fact Philip Stott, the BBC science spokesman, says 85% of climate drivers are as yet unknown. I think had this not been the case it would have been edited from the programme before it went on air. Scientists without an agenda simply have no reason to invent figures.
The second part of the theory is projections. However, a projection is only reliable within a closed system, like astronomical movements. If you push an object with a certain force in a certain direction you can project its route. Compare that with adding some CO2 to the atmosphere, know how it interacts with water vapour, learn how long it stays there, measure the height it appears in etc, and then use all these to combine with the often unseen variations like el nino and sunspot activity and make projections around 100 years in the future. This is what the actual policies are based on. When they were made, not enough had happened (genuinely caused or otherwise) to show the greenhouse effect, but in order to prevent it from happening (the fact it was outside our lifetimes seemed to go over most people's heads) they say we must act first.

If you look at the factors driving the climate, the size of the atmosphere plus the solar changes outside it, the legal test of the reasonable man would be unlikely to believe that a small increase in a mild greenhouse gas could be measured in the present, let alone projected hundreds of years into the future.


As for the practice, this falls into a few areas. There are the general figures like sea and ice level, temperature figures and long term trends for all. These are the roots of any known effects, as the only variable we have is temperature trends. The single effect of global warming is contained in the phrase, ie warming. Besides the fact we have historical (written by men of the day) records of the range of temperature they are predicting from the past already, meaning the fear factor is basically negated as few if any of the effects dreaded by the faithful have been mentioned in history) they have to present graphs showing the continual temperature variations, and somehow connect them with the much more easily measurable greenhouse gases (ie as well as CO2). In reality the CO2 tends to be the sole figure used, despite 95% of any greenhouse effect, (33' above what it is outside the atmosphere at present) is actually water vapour which is far more powerful in effect. But these are the macro criteria which have to be used to measure the increase in temperature.
To put this further in context, the ice age cycle means the climate cools or heats half the time naturally. As we are in a heating phase, it means they theoretically have to compare what they expected the temperature rise to be with what it actually is. Remember the complications involved in predicting future temperatures and that becomes a lot tougher than it looks.

So we have measurements of temperature, compared further with the theoretical rise had the extra CO2 (3%) been absent, and then similar comparisons made with ice coverage and sea levels. In fact only ice coverage and sea levels for the whole planet count, as although they are constanly quoting (and quite controversially) specific glaciers, they are only a part of the whole and if others are growing it's only the overall amount that exists, the rest are only elements of it. The University of Illinois have produced the ice coverage graphs showing them all since records started being measured in 1979. They show an incredibly regular shape, the only variation being a 2% reduction trough in 2007 which is now rising. Individual glaciers, being part of the whole, have no value at all as if the world temperature rises the ice can't hide somewhere else from it. The sea level, rarely mentioned nowadays, is the easiest to measure, although for reasons only the experts know it's not a constant depth for all like the water in your bath, but an average. This has risen a few inches a century for centuries, and is currently rising inches a century. They can't use these figures in the media as they imply nothing's changing, as the ice melts over land and the sea expands as temperature rises, and this indicates very little has changed. The very figure which reflects more influences the most easily is serially ignored by the media.

The second type of evidence is weather, yes, weather not climate. The IPCC view from about 2008 is that severe weather incidence was not related to temperature, yet is still used by anyone who can whenever it happens as more evidence for global warming. Firstly we are warming anyway, so whatever normal weather increases in that direction is a given, which does make it that much harder to attribute to much else. If the warm weather incidents increased in such a large number it became climate then maybe there would be something to look at, but most use single events over days or less as evidence despite every freezing winter, abnormal snowfall and the like are always dismissed as weather as being in the wrong direction are treated as they should be, part of the normal variations part of the chaos theory of climate. Such selective treatment of short term weather is misleading and easier to simply not include any of it as some is clearly impossible to assign meaning to.

The third type is physical effects. These again have many causes, but if you're already looking for specific evidence (science tries to disprove a theory before confirming it when they can't), you tend to attribute anything that looks like it could be without a definite causal connection (required in law as well). Deserts are guaranteed to extend beyond the equatorial direction as temperature rises. But man does also contribute to making deserts. They drain rivers, erode soil and cut down forests. These will cause deserts to expand in months without any need to look for any other reason. Of course they fail to mention the temperate areas moving away from the equator as well towards the poles, as the changes balance the land use pretty well. No one disputes more people die from the cold than the heat but that spoils the emotional appeal if mentioned. Land being inundated by sea is another standard photo opportunity and political weapon used by those living near the sea level. But plate tectonics tell you the land moves as well as the sea. Britain tilts to one side and sinking at one side while rising on the other. The Pacific islands are also sinking which is inevitable even if the sea level dropped it could only be delayed. And building on coastal flood plains like New Orleans or Bangladesh is simply a combination of overpopulation, forcing people to live in uninhabitable areas as only temporary land, and greed of those who build there for profit. They were doomed as soon as occupied, and if we diverted efforts to reducing the population rather than CO2 as well as the poverty that forces the poorest to live there then it would be a quick solution with visible results.


To sum up the evidence, global warming is based on mathematics, lab experiments, and complex calculations looking at the possible effects a small increase in CO2 can have over time in the atmosphere. The theory works perfectly in a greenhouse, which is why it's called the greenhouse effect, and on paper or within a computer trial. The claim is man's 3% addition of CO2 to the atmosphere is both effective and measurable.

The effects are: Seal level increase, Ice coverage decreases, changing land patterns, changing weather patterns, and many less certain effects thrown in in case our extra CO2 may have caused them as well, which are so diverse it's not worth trying to keep a note of them. In fact many measurements besides the ice and sea levels are not certain. Specific glaciers are presented as evidence, yet competing measurements then appear saying they are not melting. Similarly temperature measurements are presented as a whole, but collected from satellites, air, land and sea. Each produces a different set of figures and climatologists, not surprisingly, don't actually agree on all of these. But the base year they use (but rarely mention as a figure) now has a 0.5 increase. That's not yet close to even the 1.5' rise used as some sort of tipping point, and at current rates is unlikely to happen in our lifetimes. I did my best to use the official figures and then analyse them, and not use any others or ignore any I didn't like. If I missed any it was due to volume and not design. You decide.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Welcome Funtrivia

I don't think Terry will be reading this as well but would have been a nice twist. I started this blog in June 2004 after almost a year trying to find a site (it wasn't so easy to locate things back then), so god forbid anyone's that bothered there's a lot of material back in the archives. And since certain people I followed used rude words it was hard to read, respond and not join them just like Facebook. Especially when Al Gore's on the agenda.

Not that much to report since the last entry (it's been a while for me), but with dental bookings it tends to focus me on survival more than anything else, it's the way I was designed. The car is due to be collected this week with a replacement at the same time but they haven't called to arrange the day yet. Occupied till Thursday with some work at least, and like the previous week not bothered after that. I hope the Funtrivia members shifted from there all find me and join in, it became dead here after blogger dropped the interest and other links for about a year, and my daily hits fell from 50 a day to 10 average, and that's never recovered even though they've been back for ages. But 10 visits a day is enough to carry on and not talking to no one.

So there's a wide lack of inspiration at the moment, from inside or outside. Nothing's expected (although it very rarely is), and will just see what happens when I get there. You can only do your best of course.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010


It's just been survival since the last entry, someone visiting next door hit my car on saturday so more shit to deal with there, I discovered that the ISP give you a modem cable for the non-cable line I use which lets through a fraction of the data, I spent £7 on a decent one and its a good few times faster. If only one type of cable works then why the bloody hell not just supply them automatically? I've wasted years using that one and had Belkin not advertised these I'd never have known.

Two days till D day now (ie for dentist), I'm ok really so just getting on with other things. I saw what could have been an old sign on Streetview (the variation is almost impossible to tell) and got there (on a private road) to find the whole pole had gone despite being outside the regulations. It was for a car park and they still have one, but apparently the builders there must have driven into it or something equally stupid. I did manage to meditate two days running though so don't feel so guilty on that front. You'll never know if it's going to work unless you keep doing it, and my research tells me there isn't any better method. If anything's going to happen it'll be doing this.
Now I'm on Twitter I'm taking the piss out of global warmists, partly as they deserve it and partly maybe they'll realise it's a complete joke when pointed out often enough. The claims they make are laughable had they come from a mental patient, but from the UN who make all our governments charge us for absolutely nothing is far from funny. If Yellowstone went off and dropped the world temperature by a few degrees would they still say it was only temporary and we had to keep dismantling the industrial society as we are currently? (except in the east). It's not a decent world at the moment at all.

So my current plans are 1) Survive today 2) Survive tomorrow (free at the moment unless called to do more work at my late grandma's) and 3) Survive the dentist. Pretty simple really. And please god get it all done in the one visit. Then there's my weekly wednesday booking and then someone coming over. And the World Cup starting on friday plus Big Brother's last series ever wednesday night. Anything more will be welcome but not expected. Any more and Robby can't answer that (Robby Vincent who used to be on the radio here). I miss all the old ones, it's 30 years since I started listening to the phone ins and only Clive Bull is left besides Steve Allen who doesn't take calls and is on when even I'm asleep. Of course nothing lasts.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Seeing the light

Life goes on. It's been a harmless but predictable week, a little work, a few photos and the usual arrangements in between. The news has been a little better inasmuch as Newsweek (a great mouthpiece for the IPCC until now) has now stated 'The connection between the sensitivity to CO2 and temperature increases is no longer clear enough to know we are affecting the climate'. Well no shit Sherlock, if they have finally given in and said what many other scientists have been saying all along then regardless of the momentum continuing elsewhere this is more or less like Al Gore making a sequel called 'A fucking inconvenient mistake'. Honestly. The beginning of the end.

I'm in no mood for stress, and at least not actually that worried about the dentist now, it's not a major construction this time and a nice place so just have preferred a quick resolution but am ok with it for now. My nerves have been all over the place for half my life and tablets have helped a lot but had to be changed and never found anything as good when the side effects forced the issue. I have no problem with my normal life, currently panic for unusual arrangements but nearly always go, and just distance restricted for now which is probably the commonest symptom of agoraphobia there is. But although 40 miles seems nothing compared to the past it's a lot more than most can do. Still a damn limit though and would be nice to lose at least some more of it.

Alex Jones explained the Bilderberg Group on the radio last night, the people who rule the planet and sole aim to turn the human race into their slaves. An article today said due to the internet people are finally waking up and may ruin their plans. Thank god for that eh? Even my small efforts (I know how many people read this and my other messages) have informed at least a few people that global warming isn't what they tell us, and authorities deliberately try and hurt us to get what they want, they are not there for our benefit, never were, never will be. They see themselves as a superior elite who want to control the world (hence now released plans for a world government) and stop us being free and spoiling their fun. But now everyone can share and network it can't last much longer. A few thousand people may read David Icke's books, but millions read the internet every day. Each single person who learns the IPCC are only using information which supports the conclusion they have decided they want, or people are giving their carbon offsets to big businesses to do with as they please means we are doing our job well. For instance in 5 years when we have the next election, if enough people realise this then they'll want to vote for a party not collecting green taxes as they know they are going to big business worldwide. With five years freedom to do so our energy prices will rise so much (as Bilderberg planned) people will be so poor they will only care about survival. And realise it was the green taxes and no recession that did it.

Back to this life, my ex from the north is in London and threatening to turn up tomorrow but I don't think it'll happen now and I'm not in the right state to be pushed around all afternoon at the moment. Absolutely no other plans now, ideas or much else, but that's half my life. This week was fine really and I suppose just one major shift on global warming made it a profit. Do I expect too much? Seeing everyone else with their friends and family while I am privileged to see mine when I do I probably don't. The Emmerdale plane has crashed on Kingsbury, killing off 80% of the cast and only leaving a handful of old originals too spread out to form a community. A rare guest appearance from the few who survived but moved away and that's it. The rest is pretty much the same as everyone else- I'm not famous and neither are most other people, I'm trying to be, or at least get some more media work, and so are many others. That's a luxury, friends and family never should be. Things can always change but I'm not in charge there.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Keeping very not busy

All or nothing here but since the rain started and I had stuff to do indoors this becomes one of them as well. Work tomorrow as well so being a good boy for a change. The dentist is a week from now which isn't too bad considering, and must get on with a normal life as possible till then, which I'm just about getting used to after nearly 5 years since the previous visit.
Beyond that there isn't anything known, and tomorrow is covered unlike yesterday. All I knew was making the appointment and the rest of the day was free, and as raining saved me thinking where to go. Next I'll be delivering my late grandma's medical items back to the hospital, and probably taking some really dodgy pictures while I'm there. If anything nice (beyond my highly respectable monthly and global quiz scores at the end of last month, ie today) happens to divert more of my attention all the better.

One thing I always say as it's the biggest gap in my life is if everything else was identical except there was someone else around the house life would be normal again. I only have to talk here as it's the only way there is. I'm not wasting time waffling on the phone like I used to just because it's there, when you have a person around you don't talk all the time but knowing they're in the house and could if you want to is all you need. I honestly wonder if that will ever happen unless I pay someone, and tenants don't count, it really has to be someone you know and want to share with or it's even worse.
I don't have a single solution. I make the best of what there is and anything else isn't. Eventually you run out of things to do to keep busy but life provides plenty long before that happens.

So I am currently imagining the week ahead, the parts I know for sure and the likely parts in between. I expect no better and have no intention of wasting any time thinking of how, but just go with the flow. It may be just what sewage does, but there are similarities. At least in the last couple of years I've done more or less all the things I should be (besides the fairly unnecessary holidays nowadays), so within this area and around I'm doing whatever I couldn't for a while so really haven't become totally isolated from life like I was for longer than anyone should. But I appreciate every little thing I do now since I couldn't.