Outpourings

I've done some hard work this week one way or another- and the builders next door have their moments waking me up every few days so far with months ahead. My mandibular tori are happy and well, bone growths from dental pressure and 100% natural. I've never seen them till this year so may well have just arrived and very small. The charity collected the last lot of stuff from my grandma's garage so almost clear now after a year, and went home and almost cleared the back garden in an hour, except the strimmer cracked its ratchet and probably can't be fixed. One small plastic cog and the whole thing may have to be binned.

Apart from continued Streetviewing there are no plans now, a few lousy obligations ahead either timetabled or at my own pace, but have to be done either way. When I still lived at home I just got on with these things and rarely went on my own, now there's no one around to balance such mostly pointless events and as such they stand out a lot more as painful experiences a week, two or three ahead. I've never liked that and haven't found a way yet to remove the awareness from my mind without having something totally distracting happening instead, which rarely happens of course.
So, if everything is meant to be- maybe we have some choice how to react to it otherwise we'd be automatons, but the conditions are set up 100% then there must be an awful lot of information hiding in the vast apparently pointless events, like junk DNA. We have to look for more of the meaning but can't too much or we'll turn delusional. I know enough schizophrenics who see connections in everything but credit each area with far more significance than it deserves. That's the opposite extreme and simply removes you from reality altogether.

If I'm still doing something wrong I can only hope I find what it is, I do believe I've missed out on a few things simply as nearly everyone else seems to have managed it. In balance I've done a few things few people have in comparison but they are either things I need rather than want, or so minor they don't actually affect my life as they stand. I'm glad I've been on TV of course, but had it been in the 80s or earlier when there were only 4 channels maximum I'd be recognised to this day, but once they have channels only a handful of people can watch then it's second division stuff unless you get back on what's now 5 channels or forget it. Most people still watch them even when they've got all the others.
I am at least no longer reacting to each area as I come across it as I started with global warming. Fuck them all, if people want to believe bad weather's dangerous and even steal my money to try and stop it it's not my problem really. The world's probably divided half way between the good and bad, and at either end is the very good and very bad, this is the current lowest of the low but only higher profile than normal. At least dropping these reactions will stop the blockages in my energy if nothing more.