Left with nothing

The latest phase has been hard work followed by a return to nothing. However satisfying getting work out of the way is I can only return to the foundation I have, which is familiar to anyone but new readers. The tiny and low possibility chances of anything ahead include a confirmation the TV programme I did is indeed now going to become a series, which could then mean a chance of being shown now. The woman on the horizon may be single but also very unlikely, and then would need to also be interested in me for anything to happen. That's the lot really and like the wind I accurately said would only be 50 mph most future possibilities never happen or they'd be actual realities. I'd go as far as to say we won't get 80 mph winds in my lifetime though anyone who checks the stats could say the same thing. Besides that total vacuum the same goes for my diary. Besides one small arrangement I'm doing my best to avoid (it's like playing Defender if anyone remembers that) it'll be clearing up after the decorator finishes and all the usual routine.

I am also considering ordering a 3rd photo album as mine has errors and the good one is a birthday present for my mum. I'd offer the old one to the library, and I'll see what the second is like before I decide. The Post Office clearly did what I expected and lost my shirt. Having reached the sorting office on time and asked where the second item was I could do no more. I've paid for it, he's got the money and sent it and guess what I have. Minus £13. Good deal? Now I have to chase the post office and guarantee no insurance will cover it. Another reason not to buy online. The fact the item was both not available in most shops and 3 times the price made me attempt to buy it, but the rule goes (I've presented it before and it usually applies) if you have two or more items to be delivered in person (by ringing the doorbell) they'll come together and because they filled the form in wrong they insist there was only one.

I can't imagine I'll ever think of any new philosophy as I doubt there are any more corners to discover. I have one new theory that what if scientific rules, like every other, are not 100% correct? So gravity always working the same, matter always reacting the same ways etc, though told they are perfect systems, may not be. That would mean the tiny margins for error would explain all supernatural occurences as they represented the random exceptions to the laws of physics. My own example remains one to this day. I sat in a chair with a blanket cover, there was a pen in my notebook and it fell down. It landed where I was sitting and when I stood up it wasn't there. I looked everywhere else in the room just in case it had landed in my clothes and fallen down but no sign of it. Luckily it was old and almost knackered, but the question remains where did it go and how? I don't have either answer.

So, I'm tired, fairly bored and little or nothing to look forward to. Nothing new there really. All it takes is one break like the cancelled TV appearance and I'd be a lot better but it doesn't happen to anyone. One person agreed with me maybe the majority of couples aren't happy but appear to be. They settle for second or third best rather than be alone but I won't. So instead of look at other women and prefer them to mine I'll wait, probably forever, for one where I don't. My standards widen and theirs narrow, so whoever I chase is more and more selective with age. That's the few remaining single and carrying a selection of certifiable mental illnesses that put many men off except me. My needs are so simple many women should be relieved I require so little but they prefer a challenge. So I should invent a drug habit, criminal record and get some temporary tattoos and then I'll have covered all the attractions, for both classes of women, plus hit them periodically to keep them interested (I hear in many cases it works). Then I'd go to hell but I'd enjoy my life like the people who are like that. That's just dropping down to the lowest level to succeed and I have evolved beyond that and have to offer what I actually have whether it appeals to them or not. One woman over here showed an interest in me once but never followed it up though it was possible to come and see me if she really wanted to. I was up for it.

Anyway, the gym calls and the women there are perfect examples of what I describe, either taken or hard as nails. I can't give up but it makes you feel like it.