Progress at last

More and more times when I only blog because I can, despite little to add. Maybe that’s why so many people drop off sooner or later, or alternatively are doing so much they needn’t write as well. Not me. Besides having no one at home to talk to it’s something to keep me occupied and pushes me when I have little to report to see what I can make from nothing, like proper journalists have to all the time.

Little high spots were meeting a possible minor celebrity (depends how you’d define one but…), and seeing my second TV speaking part just now, I think I managed about two minutes, double my debut time, and I even got on the credits which is a first. Next month my third appearance will be released on the internet though I will have to make sure they don’t charge me to watch it (god forbid). As it’s in the can at least there’s a chance once they realise showing a programme exclusively on mobiles and internet will get 3 viewers who clicked by accident, (not advertising the schedules doesn’t help) they really should put it out on Sky One who are the owners of it. My Discovery Kids programme averages 20,000 a showing and the other about 50,000, Sky One is more like half a million. If Channel 4 do the abductee programme which they are thinking about think 3 million plus. Even a minute or two will raise me into the proper TV personality level as it’s not what you do (proved by Jade Goody) but how many people see you doing it. Literal quantity over every other consideration. Maybe eventually I’ll not only do another one but even get paid for it. These media guys are weird, they either get people to do things for nothing knowing the publicity is payment enough, or pay silly figures for doing hardly anything. I know people who do ads and voice overs, appear for maybe 30 seconds and get £60 (this was years ago) per showing, maybe 20-50 over a year. Immoral but true.

I told the people at the gym to switch on both shifts of it today (1.30 and 5.15), they saw the early one and hopefully another bunch of staff will have seen the next episode, plus my video recorder at home recorded it this time. I am now in possession of a new computer. It includes disk drives from my old one for economy, retaining the parts that still functioned but replaced the circuits with brand new Intel cutting edge equipment 3 times more powerful than I had before. I’m not at home so won’t be installing it for a day or two but have already tested it offline. Typically there are bits missing, ie Microsoft Office, present in every previous computer, but I think I can get one this week. Little else really, the week ahead (bad habit but interesting to compare how predictable they are) has few arrangements, very little work and nothing socially, and the photo trips are all the further ones as I completed 3 last week locally. And I saw many new places in roads parallel to ones I’d seen already so possibilities always exist to find gold nearby without having to look in new areas.

People asking me about women this week reminded me how dead that area is. I’m busy so past caring. The older woman finally picked up the hint about my interest and replied basically she was too old. Fancy that. Is her clitoris aware of this I wonder? I doubt it. That responds regardless of the age of the tongue but she has clearly decided to forgo that particular opportunity. The other woman will return but even when she does if she is one who waits for her tenth date (with luck) if we average two dates a year you can see that’s not really going to take off. And she gets on my nerves already. Woman three (trying to meet for the first time) is silent and absent but I believe will get in touch, and that’s my lot. The ex girlfriend (almost) intends to drop in one time she’s in the area but with her boyfriend surgically grafted to her chest (despite vowing never to live with a man again) I’m not up for any action there, and she does live 50 miles away though if she was interested I’d suggest moving as it would be the only way to see her very often. I expect despite not having seen her for a long time I’d be up for the whole thing but she has been burnt once and won’t risk it again. I can’t imagine if and where I’ll meet the next woman I try, and as I said am past caring. It’s what I would call a by product of life and without suffering the ordeal of speed dating have no other way of encouraging it to happen. You hear about so many counselling clients coming on to their counsellors but after 15 years I’m still waiting. OK, I have had a few hints but they’d have to be pretty special for me to change my role and we have to give up counselling first before anything else can happen. And others tell me it does, but never to me.

Many questions, no answers, one conclusion to an awaited TV appearance. I now accept certain problems have no solutions and situations can’t be helped, part of non attachment, and you have to carry on knowing it’s outside our power to affect these massive areas of life but it doesn’t matter as that’s the way it’s designed. Better to work on the areas you can change and knowing the others just leave them to work themselves out their own way. Less work anyway.