Freedom but for what?

A rare free week this week, and no guilt attached as last week I worked more than I have for a while. The challenge is how not to waste it. So far I've taken photos in East Finchley and today got some exercise on my bike going to Staples Corner only to find the camera battery was in the charger so I went back home. I had a long awaited visitor and then a small TV marathon. Wednesday down and two more days to go, with little thought of how they'll be filled. Of course I'll do the camera trip again with a battery, and maybe one in Wembley as well, although I also had my phone tutorial for my current personal development course and was told I'm doing very well.
I have shifted a few ideas, I no longer care about becoming enlightened (and was just told that's a requirement towards it...) and have more or less stopped my new philosophy as I've looked at enough from enough angles to get a picture and have little to add to that. No practical use except to let go and realise I have no power. By looking at ways to improve my life all I found was it can't be done and I just live each day as it is with no reference to beyond, which is how it should be. I used to believe marriage was the cure for most ills but since I have no experience of anything like it can't really imagine it any more to tell. My research has unearthed, as if offered directly, a possible alien connection as described, so telepathy has now extended beyond human sources. The woman I emailed, as well as the TV producer have both not replied, so as usual I continue to work alone. The weird thing is the aliens say to my subjects the only way they can contact me is if I'm regressed by a professional, and you know what, I don't know any. Especially the free sort. The fact I need data and by not charging people it is a lot easier to get it appears not to concern other researchers. Of course there are other hypnotists prepared to regress alien abductees but how many don't charge for it?

Things do grind to a halt and my current tutor on this course says the one thing we aren't supposed to have is guilt. Presumably reformed criminals must learn in other ways but I mustn't be guilty if I feel I've wasted valuable days as you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear, and had I taken my photos would have more to show, but I had a good exercise if nothing more. And now I have to do it again. In a film or religious book I may be being prepared for something, and have to learn how to deal with all adversities before I qualify. That requires God to pull the strings and if not God himself people with comparable power. I also realised I no longer care about personal spiritual status, only to feel good in myself. No prizes or glory, just peace. That is the ego melting and although I still often feel like shit I am no longer carrying so many unhelpful concepts. These things must block progress and maybe when enough are cleared I'll see what's behind them all.

Meanwhile I may end up famous as the last blogger left in 2007, apart from my links it appears a dying occupation. Not while I have internet access it won't be.