Run out of petrol?

Back already? I'm taking an early night, done all my other internet business, and have a work booking and two banking trips tomorrow before visitors in the evening. So I need the time to do it and not have to rush around like a maniac if possible. And do my own accounts afterwards. I've been watching the guidance since it started what is now last year. It seems to have stalled for a bit, but the one thing that has come out is although I could feel bad stuff around all my living memory, this is the first time I can do the same for good. The phases have not gone away, but they are energy bands and randomly distributed between heaven and hell.
My other projects have equally stalled, including the latest 3 messages on Facebook, appearing to put the latest total 7/7 who haven't replied. And not all women which isn't quite as surprising.

As no one there seems to have found my blog (and it can't really be worked out if they had) there is one there who is around and what I would call major partner material in every aspect. Someone else's of course but probably my most reliable follower there. The one who doesn't follow me seems to have become quite a hard bitch since school and probably besides her angelic looks and intelligence isn't quite the catch she could have been back then. Other than those two there's one who's now more of a friend, and I can't remember any other outstanding ones, mainly as they hadn't replied when I messaged them, although they were all married otherwise. How much these women have changed in getting on for 40 years can only be judged at a distance, but see who I remember and more or less how it's become. The fact half the people I know have either had affairs or tried to tells me being married isn't all it's meant to be, and any cracks present just need a suitable alternative for everything to go west in the vow department. But the equivalent of winning the 6 numbers rather than the 5 I think for a normal relationship. Many times harder.

I've certainly found the people I have been in touch with since then without a huge gap have hardly changed, so why the others could have is less likely than just an older and possibly wiser version. The supply of suitable people full stop is almost down to a prostatic dribble in the last 10 years or more, so natural to try and revive any I knew enough about to see again. But till then it's the same routine anyone not choosing to live alone will have, find what can be done and do it every day unless anything better comes along. Walking, shopping, taking photos, going out on my bike, writing, and seeing family and friends if any friends are ever available. None of my projects have done anything although probably most involved are only just back at work. Possibilities are only just that, we can take an exam but never pass it, and in my case nowadays make a request or offer free material and neither be accepted. But novelists are a good example, writing the novel is not something many people can do properly, and the fact they are constantly rejected means nothing if good quality, as sooner or later one is accepted and that's it. Same with TV thank goodness and although my writing is non-fiction that is planned next. People suddenly start arriving socially when you're doing something in the media, so business does lead to pleasure there unlike every other job I've had.

So of course, as Nick my teacher says, when you're of the world then the highs fall and you're back in the lows, as that's all there is. But until I'm enlightened that's all I do have so can only watch it and see how it is now acting like a thinking entity rather than a random mess as it was till recently. Plenty of mess still but not so random.