Run out of petrol?

Back already? I'm taking an early night, done all my other internet business, and have a work booking and two banking trips tomorrow before visitors in the evening. So I need the time to do it and not have to rush around like a maniac if possible. And do my own accounts afterwards. I've been watching the guidance since it started what is now last year. It seems to have stalled for a bit, but the one thing that has come out is although I could feel bad stuff around all my living memory, this is the first time I can do the same for good. The phases have not gone away, but they are energy bands and randomly distributed between heaven and hell.
My other projects have equally stalled, including the latest 3 messages on Facebook, appearing to put the latest total 7/7 who haven't replied. And not all women which isn't quite as surprising.

As no one there seems to have found my blog (and it can't really be worked out if they had) there is one there who is around and what I would call major partner material in every aspect. Someone else's of course but probably my most reliable follower there. The one who doesn't follow me seems to have become quite a hard bitch since school and probably besides her angelic looks and intelligence isn't quite the catch she could have been back then. Other than those two there's one who's now more of a friend, and I can't remember any other outstanding ones, mainly as they hadn't replied when I messaged them, although they were all married otherwise. How much these women have changed in getting on for 40 years can only be judged at a distance, but see who I remember and more or less how it's become. The fact half the people I know have either had affairs or tried to tells me being married isn't all it's meant to be, and any cracks present just need a suitable alternative for everything to go west in the vow department. But the equivalent of winning the 6 numbers rather than the 5 I think for a normal relationship. Many times harder.

I've certainly found the people I have been in touch with since then without a huge gap have hardly changed, so why the others could have is less likely than just an older and possibly wiser version. The supply of suitable people full stop is almost down to a prostatic dribble in the last 10 years or more, so natural to try and revive any I knew enough about to see again. But till then it's the same routine anyone not choosing to live alone will have, find what can be done and do it every day unless anything better comes along. Walking, shopping, taking photos, going out on my bike, writing, and seeing family and friends if any friends are ever available. None of my projects have done anything although probably most involved are only just back at work. Possibilities are only just that, we can take an exam but never pass it, and in my case nowadays make a request or offer free material and neither be accepted. But novelists are a good example, writing the novel is not something many people can do properly, and the fact they are constantly rejected means nothing if good quality, as sooner or later one is accepted and that's it. Same with TV thank goodness and although my writing is non-fiction that is planned next. People suddenly start arriving socially when you're doing something in the media, so business does lead to pleasure there unlike every other job I've had.

So of course, as Nick my teacher says, when you're of the world then the highs fall and you're back in the lows, as that's all there is. But until I'm enlightened that's all I do have so can only watch it and see how it is now acting like a thinking entity rather than a random mess as it was till recently. Plenty of mess still but not so random.

More is guided?

Actual life is busy and pretty trouble free, but someone suggested maybe the damage to my car was inflicted by the schizophrenic who wants to kill me. I very much doubt it but having picked up a newer car (1900 miles on the clock) yesterday would rather not have had that idea at all. The old one went today and very happy with its replacement, which looks very similar but feels half as fast which is a true sign of quality.
I still haven't found a way to get a counter on my template at all, I suspect they don't allow them any more which would make no sense at all. I may try a new one but will be the last try if goes funny.

I'm no longer too bothered looking for more old signs after a fuzzy image of one on Sunday turned out to be three when I got there. And bloody rare ones as well. I still need a complete red triangle (ie not damaged) but a very tall order in London. In addition to finding signs the simple arrangement in life, as described in the Celestine Prophecy, seems to be working for more now. I had to get some tools from a neighbour's garage on the weekend and couldn't open the door as they were out, and was about to give up when the person next door turned up, and not only opened it but found the tools in the dark as well. And when I needed a new car found the same model I tested in 2001 new but said I couldn't afford new but would buy when older. And it was the first place I looked and only had 1900 on the clock. I expect life to work like this now as I know it can.

So I'm currently Streetviewing just in case, and have my friends from Florida (since 2002) coming for the 2nd time for a week next month. If all is guided for the best now anything could happen. It'll be about time after so long in the desert...

Becoming invisible

You win some you lose some, after being ripped off £60 for going through a gated road (as they'd left the gate open, logical) I wondered if there was any way to get it back elsewhere. I had a random call from a company offering me a house insurance quote, which was way below what I was paying, so rang my company up and told them and got well over £100 off the old price. Job done.

Otherwise I'm currently publicising a radiation contamination in Kent which will hopefully get in the papers now besides me showing 50 people online, as it's a bit of a nasty situation where man made elements were found implying it was an accident and one they haven't admitted to. How many others are there we never found out about either? The teachings at all levels say to avoid nuclear power at all costs, as there's no cure for the effect of exposure and no reason to touch the stuff compared to alternatives. Yet another example why now.
So from no plans again but freedom I saw an ad for the Beatles in Abbey Road to push their new (old) album release and decided to make my own. Besides the DVD filling up after 1 1/2 minutes (no spare carried for a change) I got everything I wanted without repeating people crossing for 10 minutes as intended. I also got all my hardware shopping in my local shop today (pretty obscure stuff) without either having to go further afield or find the items at all. It all counts. So my rugs are not slipping now on the wood floor from removing the old carpet, and have a pizza wheel now so I can slice the pizzas without them slipping across the room.

I suspect my comment rate has reduced as I haven't had the time to read many blogs for a while, mainly because the ones I did read have been removed. It takes ages to find new ones as most links are years old and the fraction who do update are not always more than a list of reviews of gadgets or entertainment or links to other sites. Do these fuckers get kickbacks as there are more than enough advertising sites doing this crap officially without some spotty geek in Luton measuring all the DVD players in PC World for us. What else could motivate people to waste time (theirs and ours) reviewing anything that's being done to death already by professionals. I think I've solved that now, just a little additional pretend blog looking like a twat from Luton but in fact a twat from an ad agency. The few intellectuals around blogging seem to be pretty hard to find.

I can't help waiting for 'the big one'. Something which will change my life from mundane to special. Had the woman from the library been single and interested that could have done it. If I can start seeing auras properly again, get on terrestrial TV, in a national paper, have an official admit global warming was announced prematurely as it's now been found not to be reliable, and anything else at that level. These things probably happen on average every 10 years (to me at least), and it's well overdue for me. I order everything in life to different levels, events, people etc, as it's very easy to rank from best to almost as good but not quite etc. I expect we all can, marks out of 10 etc. The top level have to be life changing or it's there and gone leaving you no different.

I've finished the Celestine Prophecy now, although there is the following two insights plus one never written about. I read the tenth ages ago and can't remember or find it now, but the bits I saw elsewhere seem it should flow on its own from the others. As I found within days they are meant to merge to one view of life, and I am now aware of it working that way regardless of how James Redfield worked the stuff out. It fit my previous experience and he didn't know that. Whether people really become invisible at the end is similar to David Icke's lizards, a great book with a dodgy bit. If even one person had reached that level and become invisible people would notice, and once a few had we'd know it was possible and would no longer see the world as it was. Goodness knows where that bit came from but won't worry about it affecting the rest.

The prophecies continue

I'm currently integrating the insights I'm reading in the Celestine Prophecy with real life, as besides experiencing the first 4 before reading them, the others all fit so far and wonder how a life as dull and a lot worse at times as the one I witness can have exactly the opposite potential once we know how to harness it deliberately. I'm trying new things from it now and will report back if they work. Of course I can only accept the first one, the coincidences, as it's happened more and more for a few years and to most people I know as well. I will hopefully escape the normal life till now as it's about bloody time.

It is currently almost a dance between heaven, hell and limbo (the usual condition), and odd to imagine either can exist with the presence of the opposite, as logic tells you life should be one or the other if spiritually guided, and only all at once if truly random as science believes. Discovering all is connected and truly able to work as a single system (with no clue how), which finally shifts from collective but meaningless synchronicities to pointing me to specific ends which would have been impossible had all the steps not been present. I haven't finished the book and suspect it gives the ways to move out of hell altogether, and have one possible already.

The actual events have all been work related, which many would say about bloody time. And I didn't really have much else to do so can save any of them till I do. Today was the first day I've started the practical side of the book (as I only just read it last night) but trust as the rest is correct this should be as well. Whether the internet will provide more than one woman for me or that was just a fluke remains to be seen. I have made one very good ally in a council sign department so have at least one repair to look forward to on an old one. And despite covering so much of the area more turn up, on likely places and ones I've passed and never seen. But I definitely feel I'm missing something and can't use the excuse whatever is worth having is on its way, as that is no different from all the negative nonsense on global warming. People die from the cold more than the heat and the fewer of us need to use heating as the temperature is higher than the energy will be saved. What's the problem there?

Another element from the book was confirmed after the event in my own life a few weeks ago where you discover exactly your role in life. I realised I was a teacher and then read this is about the 6th insight so I think I'm ahead of another one actually. Meanwhile it's given me a system to use which should answer many of the questions I need to know, and one by one will see if it works. It's totally verifiable as you list them, add answers and then see if they are right.

Personal development updates

Having read 2/3 of the Celestine Prophecy, despite knowing nothing of its origins, the fact it corresponds with my own life quite unlike most of the other spiritual books I've read tells me quite a lot in itself. Mainly, as it says, science is not as we think. How on earth can life clearly be guided if everything is random as we are led to believe? So just knowing this and watching them all consciously raises our vibration, eventually leading to evolving to our next level. My life however, although guided in places, hasn't actually changed. My being is still as sensitive as before and just have a little hope that because there is clearly a guiding force it could guide me out of the shit eventually.

The shit is there to partly teach, but as I noticed at work (OK one hour but I was working) today it's a lot nicer to climb a mountain by small steps than try too hard and hurt yourself? You get there either way but the cost is a lot greater if you overdo it. So the guidance is towards something, and the first change I've been aware of is I'm no longer in doubt I am a teacher and know exactly how and why. Thank god I'm qualified as otherwise I'd both disbelieve my qualifications (although intuition requires none) and never get paid for it (oh, I'm not). But I could be. And see the yawning gaps in people's knowledge that I'd be reckless not to fill when I can, no different from helping anyone else in trouble, whether they need a jack for their car or an explanation for why they don't need to argue. And the teaching lasts forever as you are giving people something to keep, and it costs you nothing and you doble the knowledge each time you share it. Of course you can tell thousands for one to accept it, but it works one soul at a time as I well know.

I have predicted news before, and a year later when little happened left it alone, but another year or two passed and over half my quite unlikely predictions came to place, including Woody Allen's relationship and surrounding accusations. Not so unlikely but many others were. Now if I can harness my intuition to see where the guidance is going that in itself may guide me to it. If that makes sense. As the guidance has recently combined with my intuition, saying 'Streetview Carshalton' and also Southwark, which got me my latest few old road signs as soon as I aimed there, I'd like to go advanced and see if I can call this up at will now.

Well the book has returned (with some patience) my ability to see auras after many years, and although my list of what I'd like to change may well be beyond anything to do, and for a start would like someone important to recognise and use my teaching. Now if I can reconnect with the energy I was well aware I was missing then basically that would be the end of my problems as I'd no longer need to rely on events for pleasure. That's only my existing view of enlightenment, but the book describes it far better than the advaita loss of individuality. To me that is quite easy to do, you just see who you are before you start thinking about it, and all it is is awareness plus the movement of the sensory inputs. No person (can you see yourself looking ahead?), identity (you need to think to remember who you are) but so bloody what? I can enter that state where I'm gone and there's just awareness and activity but is identical to how I am with the identity. Connecting to divine energy makes more sense, or chi/prana to be exact, and of course that feels good as basically without it we're running on batteries and with it the full mains supply.

The major problem with the spiritual progress is the gaps. It doesn't take away the boring moments of every day and lousy chores that must be done, doing nothing as others call my leisure activities is far preferable to boring chores, although they do earn money sooner or later in some cases. That's normal before enlightenment but when you've been guided enough to know it, and then life goes back to how it was before then very quickly it seems it's just the same except you know it can be guided. But that's no practical use, just a knowledge of things working differently to how we think. Technically I suspect everything that happens is part of the guidance once it's started, although we may never know how.

Meanwhile I'm having to be pretty subtle on my other blogs and websites as it's very likely some people I write about will read it or tell them if they know them. So I'll save the naughty bits for here and mention my empty female target diagram. This involves every woman I like, and have Venn diagrammed them all into how unavailable they are (as none are available). The big circle is internet friends and others I knew who moved abroad or too far to see over here. The smaller circle which intersects (as Venn diagrams do) with the large one is the married ones. Now on my list are the top few who either I'd like and could have if available, or are available but out of range. I used to have few limits, a few 70-80 mile very short relationships, and we both agreed within weeks the trouble was more than the benefits. Being 30 years older that is now about 15 miles whatever Gabriel (who travels the world annually for the whole year as that is his thing) says. Even so possible #1 is a few hundred miles away and unless I'd met someone first couldn't expect them to move to London to complete the job. I'd move to a few places but was blown out the last time that happened last year.
The other blew me out consistently for a few years at school but found me online and despite being married and not too far away shows more interest in me than anyone else here. Considering my role as persona non grata for a few years (besides telling me her problems, which is what I was born to do, paid or not) how I've suddenly become her favoured distant target (unless she shows such attention to all her friends online) is a mystery to me and as I doubt her marriage is in any difficulties wonder what I did to become an object of interest after 30 years or so.

My other trick of dropping hints has fallen flat but tested and failed. I won't bother now, I can't pick them up myself so can't really expect others to. Married woman did pick a few up so excepted, but unless she's both changed her opinion of me and decided to be unfaithful she's either acting as a red herring or has developed an interest she probably can't act on. I could tell the other one but far too far away, and there's no one else female wise. Where the guidance is leading I will still have to see, but don't like the usual return to life as it always was before. Where's the hope or benefit in that?

Doom, gloom and shit meets fan

Sanity can be stretched to its limits, and hope it recovers as quickly as it's been stretched. I'm still teaching though as all the latest fiasco did was confirm my initial suspicions, and actually affirmed when I read the 4th insight in the Celestine Prophecy. People don't usually mean to be cunts but doesn't stop them doing it. See my teaching as a favour to try and reform these further behind than some one by one.

Other than shit hitting the fan there's little happened this week besides my four insights before I then read them in the book. That's pretty significant and hopeful. But being still in duality am affected by being treated like scum and have no one here to distract me like most people do. Added to that I have only one small plan of taking my old sign book to the library, and beyond that who knows? This week at least was free and in itself is always positive. As I had nothing preferable to do I did exactly what I did, photo trips all over the place, removed my old filthy lounge carpet and got the valuer in to my late grandma's house. Things have been done but besides no longer having the filthy carpet indoors feel I have gained nothing. I have discovered unless enlightened everyone has ups and downs whatever their status. No masters degree, PhD, fame and fortune ever made anyone fireproof as I used to expect, as my clients all demonstrate who are all far more successful and unhappy than me. You can earn a degree but can't talk to it, and have loads of money but again doesn't provide you a social life. And many married people seem no happier with that either. I don't even know the answers to this lot, besides searching for enlightenment, as the basis of suffering is dualism according to every teacher in history.

When you are at the bottom it's natural to look up and think it ought to turn round, but there are no scales on up and down in life, or averages out, so can go down and down indefinitely. But not in my hands. Tomorrow I also have to write a webpage for someone without a computer and the possible library visit, with the final Ashes Test on TV in between. Of course I Streetview all of London in case I find any more old signs until it's all covered, and does work as I found a couple more last week. We all want rescuing from situations as described in fairytales, but one thing life isn't is a fairytale. It has far more in common with the Exorcist than any other film I can think of, and did not at all see that as a work of fiction when I watched it many years ago. It's not like that all the time but is a lot easier to reach than anything positive.

I don't always get inspiration when needed either. It is there at times, I got two ideas to check certain areas on Streetview and had signs exactly where I expected them although one had absolutely no reason to. I have the ability but not constant or frequent enough to help as so far it comes to me, I can't go to it. Doing psychic readings most can do passive quite easily, getting what they are given on a topic. But to be able to answer specific questions is restricted to the very best and something I only just started trying to do. Someone posted that suffering is like washing clothes, you don't beat them to break them but to clean them. Surely there's a better way for people though, I try and clean people by communicating to them, putting them through ordeals, although outside my power to do, certainly teaches lessons to those not willing to listen, but that is karma and I've never seen a scrap of evidence for that, rather personal evolution through effort and then coincidence/synchronicity presenting the lessons one by one. These don't seem related to previous actions but the next step to learn. Quite different.

So I have a growing list of people who owe me a fucking huge apology. One great miracle is to actually get even one of these in your lifetime. Think about it. People believe they are right, hurt someone, find they have, feel guilty, go into denial and spend the rest of their life trying to ignore it. I'd love the chance to apologise to people when I was like that as a teenager, but that was the last time I behaved like that. Another reason I teach as I see why they do it, others see why they do it, and if enough people point it out then the miracles may happen, especially without them having to suffer what they did to you, which seems a childish formula and maybe not even intended by Buddha who is always quoted as teaching it. It would certainly work better than any teaching I give (as I see deaf ears all around me where really needed to be open) but don't trust that system however many people do.

Everything is trivial at the moment

I think the theme for over a week in my life has been everything that's been done and happened is trivial. You know the major important events and incidents that make any day or week worth doing, well none of them. I've been getting locally and privately made signs all over the place which don't count in the official collection, except one I found today where the jury's out. And that's the highlight. Otherwise I've been doing a bit of everything. Work has been fairly busy, and sorting out my late grandparent's house. The rest has been local photo trips taking variations of the other 10,000 photos I've put on Flickr, seeing no one (grandma was two evenings a week till last month), hardly any gardening as it's rained a lot, and that's about it.

Besides a cancellation today meaning it was free after all the next two days are as well so far. I haven't a clue what I'll do besides my annual football predictions and maybe finishing the non-urgent accounts. I've got used to not having any plans after a few weeks of it, and am working Friday and Saturday to save me thinking of even more. My first daydream when it goes quiet is to slip into the past, but I think I've recalled every possible memory between 1961 and 1980 or so now and can't do a thing to bring any of them back besides finding the road signs like there were then. And also my aims for the future are far more based on what I've had and missed than any imagination. Just recreate something like I had but without as many bits missing. And of course I appreciate everything good I took for granted and then lost, although little has come back.

So the obvious future is like the past, but needn't be. The local sign should officially be painted by this week although I bet they don't tell me even if they do. The woman who wanted to see me has done nothing (big deal), probably as she may have now remembered who I am (big deal again). But people who do avoid me on remembering me at 14 always forget we are all immature at 14 but usually grow up as I have. And did they act like angels as teenagers? I doubt it. And however long I live I'll hope for better. So far the majority of good news has been the end of a bad situation rather than actually adding anything (besides finding old signs that is). But I won't get the few I missed before I officially collected them and were the last in the country. Did I know that at the time? Of course not. As I said years ago most mistakes are from lack of information and given the right status of anything around you will allow you to deal with it as you should. Including who you can trust as well. Most people are either reliable or indifferent, only a few will stitch you up but they're not always obvious. And if you trust the majority it's easier to rely on the wrong 'uns.

That was a phase a few months ago when everyone I requested things from dropped me right in it. Thank goodness one finally let me paint the no entry sign, otherwise I got sod all, unless the second sign is also painted as promised which is a bonus. But every single fucking journalist (well their editors who are the biggest arseholes) has let me down, which really confirms what everyone else said about them. That phase ended with others already described to follow. I just read in the Celestine Prophecy (which I didn't even know I had) more than average (1000s of times in my case) coincidences point to more happening and are the first insight. And when enough people share this everyone will try and find out why as clearly it means there's a hidden force at work. Well as a) I'm free tomorrow and b) I'm bored and c) I'm ready for more then I'd like the hidden force to operate tomorrow and provide something else for me, with no effort (another 'old' concept) but just arrive as I'm ready to get it. And if effort was limited per lifetime I think I've spent all mine already. Time to retire from that treadmill.

Anyway, if the force can provide signs every time I'm stuck then it can provide other things as well when required. And the second misconception is having to wait for things. No effort and no waiting. And again I've waited 49 years for many things on my list so done waiting as well. Not just I deserve it, we all do.