A mess of ideas

I'm currently being taught by someone from Facebook- I had reached a point where everything about my progress had stuck, and rather than wait and see what happened am being given little ways I may be able to free that progress up. Otherwise life is pretty much as usual, my time is being booked up now for each day, all routine stuff but at least avoids me staying here on the computer or having to think of places to go on my own.

There may well be a single intelligence behind everything which makes anything happen, once you see that it's no easier, but can see there has to be more. You can learn the same thing in hard or easy ways in many cases, I am getting a bit too old for the hard way now, I do believe it's probably possible to do nothing the hard way but that is reserved for a few only. The minimum of suffering is required at the beginning just to appreciate the lack of it, but from then on the memory of it should be enough. You shouldn't need to suffer for a sense of achievement, but for the achievement itself. That intelligence has already demonstrated to me what it can do, and so far all by the grace of god, ie at god's will unrelated to what I do or not. A good start but it's easy to forget that's there when everything returns to how it was before. I do look for more in it now but if something's so small you can't be sure it's even there it's not enough to know.

Each situation you're in, especially the bad ones have a timescale, but you can't know it in advance. It appears it will never change, some don't and others suddenly stop. I've been living on my own now 18 years and may well for the rest of my life. We have world governments restricting our lives for the climate, that may change but maybe not within my lifetime. Our roads have humps like cancer, one borough has started removing them but no others. That has changed but only marginally and locally. But there's no inherent clues how long each situation will last. Some are clearly built on shakier foundations than others but are propped up to keep them from being swept away by that. I can't bear to hear lies being treated like truth and the people telling them being treated like heroes. The day Al Gore goes behind bars will be the day the world wakes up, he represents everything which is wrong with society in every single culture on earth. He is a one person example of greed, manipulation, hypocrisy, and being rewarded for doing so. If money was the cure to global warming he could have fixed it with his own if he really believed it, but he sells himself to spread his brand of religion and keeps every penny for Gore industries. That aside, I see the outer blockages reflected in me as inner blockages. Neither seem to shift at will and sometimes you turn round one day and see they've gone. I talk about it partly as by doing so it focuses the mind on it and may allow a solution to pop up.

So it's one of those rare periods where I have no problems and no presents. Just time. I learn a little but not enough to change anything. I have a collection of people who need me, either occasionally or all the time, and although they mean no harm can become a real pest when I get little or nothing in return. Not even from them as takers are rarely givers as well, but even from many givers. Rather than a return system it's a chain, we each help those below us and in turn are helped by those above us. It's rare for people to be able to work as equals and not fair to expect anything back from the people who are tuned in to taking. I'd love to tell each one in turn to give me a break, but as they have no idea they're doing it would only take it personally and cut me off. Unfortunately these make up nearly all the people I mix with at the moment so it's them or nothing. And the fact I am patient with them means they also assume I don't mind the time spent on their issues, and while others probably make excuses or change their phone numbers I do give the impression I'm happy to listen unless I'm watching TV. If they actually responded to any of the things I suggest it would be better but mostly it's a rubbish dumping exercise and although they seem to want help and advice can't seem to do what they do to get into trouble in any other way. The problems return and they come back to me (and maybe others as well). We all have a few but at the moment it seems no one else wants to call.

So far the next two days have no potential excitement, but then again excitement rarely gives itself any advance warning. You can find a gold ring in a dog turd but would rather someone else wiped it off before I touched it. I don't know if I look for fuel to be cynical or am being fairly reasonable under the circumstances. If whatever came to me in the last dream with a gift can do it once then was it something I did or was it just my turn? But I know it's there now so it can't turn its back and pretend it's not there any more. I don't think I'd take advantage of any power now, I think I can handle it safely.