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I see the autosave has finally failed here, no surprises there and I always say if it eats a blog then it's because I can do a better one. After the PC died last night I had to drive across town to get the laptop, was on the phone to the operator till 2am getting it hooked up to the cable, and ended up at the local park in the rain today taking photos. Despite getting the worst of the jobs behind me as soon as I settle down and relax more shit like that arrives, appearing to present me with a constant stream of garbage so I can learn to deal with each one permanently. It shows regardless of what we've done already the same shit keeps coming so have to step up a level to rise above it.

Being lost without the internet- it's clearly replaced all the other activities I'm not able to do, realised unless I get someone else in the house eventually it'll be that or bust. There are always bits and pieces to do around the house I will do more of now I've seen how they get backed up while on the computer, but not nearly enough to keep occupied for long. And if I was ever given an IQ test letter (I vaguely remember reading it but so vague it may not be so) but if there was one I'd have kept it and had so little paperwork at 11 would have been in a drawer with a couple of other things in my old desk. That was two houses ago but those papers were usually in a little folder and put away with each move, but my mother also kept some of my stuff at her house but wasn't in those files when I looked. But I'm slowly chucking old stuff out I am coming across while looking which is probably all I'll get from the mission.

Meanwhile I just ordered a 3 hour meditation DVD set so one more tool (no tool comments please) to my growing list, but having seen Adyashanti enough trust his knowledge more than most to help. I have also bought viennas for the first time in about 30 years after seeing someone else mention them and remember I hadn't had them so long, and will be opening them soon. Without entering the realms of speculation I can't think of much else now, so I'll return to my drawers as there's nothing on TV for a couple of hours. I have to dredge these ideas up from somewhere as there aren't so many after all this time. I need some outside input.