Ed Miliband? Nein Danke!

I will start with a few credentials, I have enough experience to be able to pick up certain qualities in people simply as a musician would pick out notes or chords. There are only so many and not exactly hard to recognise after 52 years looking. So with everyone discussing the next prime minister Ed Miliband all it does is show a) how busy most people are with their own lives to really notice what happens elsewhere and b) how easy it is to be believed whatever you say.

Ed Miliband seems actually one of the few genuine top politicians. Unfortunately this means he is a genuine Forrest Gump. He believes whatever he is told and despite having an academic mind few could better, his awareness of the real world outside his paperwork is no better than the average seven year old. He has absolutely no maturity or human interaction, but is an information machine, sucking it in and spewing it out with little or no actual understanding of what the great machine of his brain is passing along from its theoretical mouth to its anus. He is a believer in whatever his elders and betters (starting with his communist parents and whiz kid brother) tell him, and has fallen hook line and sinker for the Rockefeller led UN agendas running Obama and the whole of the three main parties here. Combined with the power and influence he clearly has, then to get the equivalent of Frank Spencer as head of Health and Safety to one of the potentially most powerful positions in the world he is clearly a dangerous potential leader as he is apparently so plausible people are phoning the radio in droves during the conference calling for his appointment.

As Obama's speeches are robotic, his are childlike. Clearly even today what we would have called at primary school the 'class spazz', he clearly took to academia like a duck to water, but not in the way of a genius but of Rain Man, like the tedious nimrod in most degree classes or A level who can trot out paragraphs of books at length while clearly doing little more than repeating them blindly. "The climate is changing! We must do everything to avoid dangerous climate change", and I think he is one of the few above local councillor who actually believes it, which is actually even worse as it's like letting a child handle explosives. It's one thing having evil but intelligent people trying to screw you over, but the village idiot who just happens to have an autistic gift at memorising facts who thinks he really has to do something is far more dangerous as he actually means it.

One thing was the general public till this conference can pick it up as well, as even the least aware members of society can pick up a wrong 'un just as they did in the playground at primary school. Most ugly ducklings do grow out of it and are generally impossible to compare with the class wally they used to be, but he instead has allowed the wallydom to grow with age to complete maturity. The reason till now so many people consistently said (even as some rampant Labour supporters) they couldn't vote for him was he was simply too much of a prat to be missed. How the team have rebranded him over a weekend to become a credible possibility to lead Labour into the next election, and god forbid stand a chance of election is something even I thought was too much of a credibility gap to bridge.

Had he been around in medieval times there would have been songs and poems around like 'Ed who's head is as dim as an ass, his mind is lost among the pixies and can't find his backside with both hands' or somesuch, and children and adults alike would make Ed Miliband faces and unless he withdrew from public office sharpish would have ended up being pelted by rotten fruit. Now they may not have had plumbing or refrigeration but the medievals knew how to take the mickey out of someone who really deserved it. Had they had TV news back then instead of doing everything they could to take him as seriously as anyone possibly can despite the subject being only a hair's breadth away from Benny from Crossroads with a degree from Harvard, they would have reported something like 'Ed the Miliband of Labour today made a speech at Manchester which would have made a maiden wette herself with lack of bladder control as if seeing a donkey trying to ride a bicycle (had they also been invented). Sad to say such a chump would be hard pushed to lead a small child to the privy let alone try and become the leader of the country.' Now that's honest reporting, instead of the fawning drivel we must put up with on every channel as well as the Labour run (I don't know how but they seem to do it whoever's in power) BBC actually attempting to talk about him as if a credible alternative to such greats as Churchill and Thatcher.

As a bonus if my exposee of what can only be described as either the biggest joke in British politics or the equivalent of landing a 747 without a pilot depending if he wins or not actually makes a few people notice the bleedin' obvious and realise before it's too late they can't encourage someone with the discretion and insight of a breast implant to suddenly be in charge of making laws it will have been a work of deliverance. And if you need a little more to shift, two words, Mr Bean.