More details of nothing

Still exploring life, having heard the theory we create from our thoughts I wonder how my thoughts created a pair of power saws opposite this morning that woke me up and stopped me going to sleep? By any stretch of the imagination nothing I could have conjured up from nowhere would have been responsible for some sort of pointless disturbance that popped up at random. Unless like Jung it's a deep symbolic meaning I must wait for to arrive which will provide the key to that particular item and the chance to let it go. I will keep looking.

Otherwise today's been housework which is something. No real shifts besides cleaning and almost repairing the cat feeder, the rest being minor tidying and gardening which could have become major if left too long however. Yesterday dragged a number of reasonable photos from the minimum of inspiration, and thank goodness I did some work on Tuesday. So, so far a typical week and little to excite or amuse beyond my imagination. Plus the mouse. Not the one for the computer, the one that was introduced to my lounge by the cat last night, ran under the sofa, pissed off and hasn't been seen since. As it didn't arrive (like my grandma's visitor) from outside there's no way out unless I see it and remove it. I won't kill it, the cat seems to have lost interest (not a bad thing) so unless it turns up running across a room I have no idea where or how long it will be here for. All I can do is leave some food out and see what happens. All I need.

It's been a shame turning down arrangements as the ear doesn't just hurt but generates symptoms sometimes as well. Just enough to stop me doing things beyond the very easy. People worry but it's nothing dreadful, just a fucking nuisance. But with 47 years of experience behind me I make sure I always acheive the next easiest things to the ones I couldn't do so always get something done, showing it can't stop me altogether so far. No one should be expected to go through life constantly healthy and if it's my turn for something nasty then what can I do?

I am a record keeper. I put a mileometer on my bike and feel satisfied if I do a few more miles than usual. Because of the hills here it's not as many as some but steady progress. There's no point losing track of events, after about 10 I realised I needed to keep records of my radio calls, it's now up to well over 400. And that's just LBC, about 100 more altogether. And who I called and what about. Only a few filofax pages, very easy to store. Looking back you see how each week you add something, small or important, so even without a job life can still be productive. And how many people would work if they could afford not to? If I was rich I'd have an office next to my house and invest in a proper business, hopefully a radio studio to do phone ins or similar, and a room for individual and group therapy and tuition. I'd rent the place out and as long as fairly busy would make a profit however many hours I did myself. Though I'm not rich it means I wouldn't stop working but do what I wanted and when. I'd be able to work more than now as I could afford the premises. I tried doing the same a number of times elsewhere and even without paying rent without clients spent most of the time sitting around waiting while people never arrived. I know a couple who put their life savings in an identical project and that went west within a year, as did the other people I worked for. Very social but no money in it.

And the fucking Indian shop ran out of cakes. How the hell does that happen? With a few hours sleep I wasn't going to shop around so took a pack of assorted biscuits with a 2 week date on and will lose weight from lack of jam tarts. I have toast though so all may not be lost. If I had someone at home to talk to or wait for I'd have a real life. Till then it's make the best of it. For ever possibly. With a mouse.