Review of the week

Last week was a free one after two pretty busy ones, I needed the break and wondered if by any chance any more would happen than the bleedin' obvious, however tiny the chances were. Of course the answer was a resounding no, but I did take some very nice photos and the BBC put 2 of mine on TV in the first half of the week and another the second half, after I started adding them to their site on Monday. Quite a good record. Otherwise there's little to report, and when life repeats itself how can you report anything more than the routine that follows from day to day? And to the 10 people who apparently visit every day unlike livejournal or others everyone can comment here without being a member. Hint. A few people I linked not only stopped posting but wiped the blogs as well. So many people do work online and then wipe it when they leave somewhere. I can't see the point. It costs nothing to leave an old blog gathering dust for new readers, and quizzes to be played. Madness and immaturity can be found in even the most apparently sensible people, and in one I did see the signs coming and didn't take long to see the final result.

It's obvious but unless my health is OK life sucks. It's like the weather at the moment, changing throughout the day, and if it stayed good I could almost go back to my old self, instead of rationing everything I do. I did manage a few little jobs in the week which aren't (yet...) affected by my health, ie housework and gardening. So far the diary is clear ahead, and that's how I prefer it at the moment. And 3 weeks till my new series starts and my 4th filming takes place. I think 4 TV appearances, even if only seen on a few TVs are pretty good for someone who waited 46 years for the first sound and vision appearance. I'm sure had one been on real TV someone would have contacted me through the station from the old days, I saw Dr Noreena Hertz become famous after being successful as a professor, she is a few years younger than me and is one of the many women who rejected me over the years. I met her in the kitchen at a party in East Finchley where I grew up, and it turns out she may have lived in that house or road as well. Apart from a few lines she looks exactly the same and given the chance I would still love to give her one, as many others would. So from a very interesting hobby seeing and meeting celebrities, which literally put me up with A listers, I now want to be on that list and people saying they met me. Why not? Unlike the Big Brother crowd they are only celebrities because we know them, not for actually being good at anything. No real foundation there, my career is based on my interests and clear ability in front of the cameras, which I was complimented on the last time. The other element I want to be known for on TV is making people laugh, and hopefully I'll get the chance to do that sooner or later.

One little high spot today, one of the few women as interested me as I was in her still appears to be interested. Miles away but there may be hope there. And at least despite not being currently available I know she cares.

My current question is how would other people react given my exact circumstances? I may be naturally sensitive but seem to have had more of my share of stress in the last few years, none of which many people deserve. And I shouldn't even feel guilty for not having a job, the fuckers who turned me down for things I could have done in my sleep should be. Had I got used to working again a few years ago I may well still be now. The laptop was finally fixed after confounding the engineer for 2 weeks, but the more important ear infection seems to be causing a lot more mystery for the doctor. If there is a plan something has deliberately put the brakes on me as although I am often dizzy, tired and in pain I get other things done during it and in between. And have to turm down simple arrangements simply as I can't rely on myself to manage them. It forced me to risk losing friends but to be honest I never had them any more anyway. My real friend is abroad and the others the past. The rest don't matter. But how a simple problem that should clear up in a week becomes part of my new body is beyond even the experts. Something should fix it but at the moment it's quite possible it can be permanent. And no one can tell me why. I'm not a doctor so it makes no sense to me, but at the moment it seems to make no sense to them either. I haven't got cancer, I haven't got aids, but would you want anything that comes and goes indefinitely whether fatal or not? I don't think so.