It's too early to go to bed and nothing left to look up online so here I am. If the system's working despite nothing known or new something will occur. I'm more or less busy till Thursday now so no need for many plans besides tomorrow later on when I can fart about as I please. A 30 mile trip Wednesday and the gym covers that, and then who knows. So if the system says every moment is guided then so is this, and I just have to look for why.
Maybe it's to get me to read something here after this, or think of something I wouldn't have otherwise. That's the sort of indirect lateral thinking you need to develop and see more and more in the apparent gaps. On Facebook (there, the one place I have forgotten to visit till now, first job done) four women from the 70s/almost ignored me last week, I rarely find so many in one go now and in order one) didn't like me then either, two) doesn't remember me, three) thought I was a twat, and four) even I don't remember what or who now.
Look for new people? I could write a book let alone an entry. Suffice to say suitable new friends are maybe 1 in 1000 or more. I met a handful over my lifetime and stuck with them for decades. Since school and regular holidays, which provided them plus the children of my parents' friends I've barely met one new one despite regular courses and groups. No idea why, just how it happened.
I did meet one girlfriend online in 2002 but her own problems stopped that short. Otherwise I either meet attractive women who run a while or marginally interesting people amongst generally boring groups I never see outside more than once or twice. The few right people click, I meet many online but all way too far to see more than once when they come to London for some reason. I don't travel now (as any regular will know) and even if I did you can't have a regular friend more than 20 miles away, mine have vanished when moved the other side of London before. I'd done the groundwork on all the others already and whatever split us up before may be fixable.
Is there a reason to be on my own? Maybe if temporary as I get a heck of a lot done. I've also learnt a lot to do without anyone else around but why have to make the best of it for the rest of time? Even a marriage/partnership of convenience would be an improvement now, but the calibre of possibilities, either mentally backward or ill or both is more trouble than it would be worth, even if attractive. Unless I had a palace where you could lose someone much of the time we'd be on top of each other and I suppose if you sleep with a woman she'd expect you to take her out as well even if you agreed it was only out of desperation? If a man (not just me) would drop his standards after 50 years because it was that or nothing don't any women? Or are all women the right sort of age all with someone unless mental? I suspect that is the case, although not necessarily abroad as I meet some lovely women elsewhere online. A few are potty as well but at least not every single one.
So more questions than answers on that one, but may find one once I've started. At least I can go to bed now. Amen.
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3 comments:
Certainly no joy on Facebook was there :( Commiserations on your 'record' haul of unfriendlies.
'... if you sleep with a woman she'd expect you to take her out' ... 'fraid so David, can't see any way around that one.
Hey, if you have the time, might you have a look at this post? The author has an unusual 'theory' about some agoraphobias. I'd sure be interested in your opinion of it?
You'd be surprised, one woman I met I took her to a cafe, a pub and a relative and then spent most of the next couple of months here in bed. I wanted to socialise a bit as well but she was happy to come over here and do that. I was of course, but shows they can be different.
Others have liked to go out but happy not to once they were content with me. Trouble was they were not the right ones so had to move on myself.
But once you've already slept with a woman most of the rules tend to go out the window, it's getting them there that seems to need the work spent on it. But no relationship to effort as before I had problems I'd throw every penny and event at them and they simply let me take them everywhere and dump me when I tried anything. I do meet the occasional woman who doesn't like all the usual places but very rare. I'll take them out but just limited to where I am able to go at the time.
I'll check out the link now and get back.
I think you are suffering from a severe case of Anuptaphobia. Hope you soon find a cure.
Oh you don't need to have sex in a loving relationship. Sex after-all is only there to keep the species going and there are already enough humans on Earth.
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