A summary of apparent chaos

I will open the box and leave this to chance tonight. Last week was work (it happens) and good thing too as I am someone who is affected by low interest rates. 4 more years of that, great, everyone who has saved one way or another and many who have retired and rely on that plus a lousy pension will suffer for four more years. And the people who borrow will be happy. Those are the priorities of a government who want votes as the sheep/masses borrow and the patricians/intellectuals in the great minority save, so sod them as they barely affect the results, let the scum be the benefactors, excuse my expression.

That said, it's work again this week (can I take it???) including the wonderful Jewish custom of the second funeral when the stone is revealed. It's a funeral service just like the proper one a year later, we all have to go back and do it again. I wish I could see these friends and relatives without the need for someone to die but that is where we see most of them and only a handful otherwise. Shopping tomorrow for the catering side and a bit of work the next day. There's a football fixture the second the work finishes, but somehow think with energy conservation in mind I won't manage it which is a great shame, ironically I missed a good few matches when my grandma was alive as towards the end she did object to me seeing her a different day and Tuesday was usually when they were on. Maybe that would be an appropriate way to see her off as it won't happen again.

So overall I'm hoping the next stage of my guidance, which is dropping all my attachments (ie caring about) the badness around me, is all actually leading somewhere useful. So far I have profited from it for my collection, and then back to life as before. I feel the same, I no longer react to many things now I've learnt I don't need to, but don't feel any different. It did motivate me to meditate more and aim for as often as possible now. The active one is for enlightenment and so far haven't seen anything result, the other is to feel good and when it works it can do. Ultimately the most important thing is to get me living in a family again, not my own as only my parents remain, but the closest to it. I've had one more offer but it's one which I'd probably not even notice her around, and couldn't even get a trial out of her to see how it went. At least I'm still able to get the odd woman interested though. Is it chaos or just a stage between either the old and the new or more of the same? At least there's no dentist involved on Thursday so not such a biggie really, and the rest is nothing special so will see.

From past experience I know all this is normal life and it was so much easier when I lived at home. It's like carrying the same shopping but with help. But that can't be the wrong person to share it with or they become the baggage as well. I could really do with some more guidance now.

A little too much excitement

It's getting a bit chaotic here again, besides life as normal I've managed to get two separate death threats this week and it's only Wednesday. Now I don't know the average a person is expected to get in their life but like everything else when that energy is around it seems to be coming from everywhere at once. The first was on Youtube and probably follows a long campaign for making a video on some gang's council estate. Then a schizophrenic I used to know who I dropped when he turned nasty just rang up and said he's going to kill me for various paranoid delusional type reasons. Anyone who doesn't believe in some sort of karma as described in Autobiography of a Yogi may start wondering after seeing all the phases I've been sent.

Now taking it to the traditional eastern view these events imply my spiritual work has reached a level where karma is becoming almost instant and the issues I've had saved up are all coming at once so I can get rid of them to be clear for enlightenment. Of course a physical death and a symbolic death of the ego is a close thing, as the greatest barrier to enlightenment is the fear of losing it, although it is something we were born to lose, like our milk teeth, and maybe our virginity. It is impossible to ignore the arrangement I see around me more and more and that also means there's sod all difference I can make about whoever wants to kill me as whatever's meant to happen will. Now wasting my future seems a bit beyond the purpose of any sort of karma, and more likely to see how I deal with it to see if I'm ready. Detachment is probably the best move as it's all meant to be an illusion anyway. Dreams can be easily created to any script so why not the dream we think is reality?

So besides the attacks on my peace I've been reasonably busy in the proper summer weather that may well be a week in a year of British cold and wet. Visitors today although one didn't make it, too hot for any gardening but did some food shopping and washing up. And more accounts which almost seem to be working now for the annual returns which are beyond me and normally checked by an accountant. No doubt if they are rubbish they will be sent back and have to be but all the programming has been updated and seems to work although balancing accounts was one bit I never got at college when I did it. There's a trick they used to take the two parallel figures of income and outgoings and then use the owner's equity to make the difference up, a bit like lining up the two layers of toilet paper when they get out of line. But nowadays the balance sheet is done by the computer and we only get involved when it flags up an error. Now having seen a few before I didn't this time so can but hope. Under law you don't need an accountant to do quarterly and annual returns so I am a lot cheaper. But if they want them to balance as well then I'm not the man.

Normal obligations the rest of the week, clearing my late grandma's house, gardening and a work booking on Saturday. But my road sign collection is nearly complete now with one of the rarest appearing on Monday. Assuming neither lunatic carries out their threats I can then look ahead to the following week, football friendlies, no school annual reunion as it's the day I'm working (unless it finishes before I expect to) and who knows what ahead.
I did stop reading blogs for a while for the simple reason everyone on my list stopped writing or deleted them altogether. It took a while to add a few new ones to read and being on the road so much this year and Streetview to help me search I've had little time for other sites besides my daily quizzes. My scores continue to improve as not only do I keep learning new facts I get the same questions over again until they become familiar. I'll be back though as when all the other stuff gets done I'll have more time to wander around the other places again. Before the buggers cut off the profile links for a year I was getting 50 hits a day. I'm lucky to get double figures now. Search me.