Repetition

Two days later and literally nothing has happened. I needed a clear weekend to recover from last week so chose not to do very much (not that there were any on offer) and though I'll be distracted working for a couple of days which is a necessary element for all without a private income, nothing has changed.
I just checked my emails having contacted everyone but one on the list of three. I am clearly persona non grata. It seems the effect I have on women I like has now extended to many more things, exactly like a curse. It's not total but besides my friend in America who I can only imagine I've offended somehow (can only be here but I thought he didn't read it) for the first time in 34 years, the others are plain rude.

MSN turned out to have altered their website to lift the free offer to fix my Windows the day I contacted them. I've now emailed their British centre and they say they reply in 2 days (tomorrow), though now the offer no longer appears to stand the error message will become permanent but as long as it all works there's no more I can do besides ask a security expert I know to check it. The second person seems to have had second, third and fourth thoughts about me (no reason to), though I also wonder if a story I told her about someone I liked whose name i'd forgotten was actually her. That would have done it... I can't think of any other reason besides female hormonal behaviour, and knowing the way I get into trouble it may well have been her I described. I'd hope anyone would see it as a compliment but that's a male view, women seem to hate attention unless they pick the person.
The TV person was emailed on Friday, granted he works on the road but always replied to my emails in the past. But not today.

It all goes to display a sad and cynical view of human nature. You are usually helped purely as a by product of other's needs. As Carnegie said in his famous book, people will do nothing for you unless you offer them a reward. Just like Pavlov's dogs. If anyone needs help I can give I usually need a pretty good excuse not to help them rather than the reverse. These guys get on with their lives and if their plans include something that randomly helps you it's chance, not altruism. So when their plans change, you become part of history.

To analyse this academically (you can tell there's nothing else to do)

1) My friend in America is following his own plans, any other effects are pure chance and not connected to his plans

2) The friend who stopped emailing did offer to help and that's bad form in anyone's book

3) The TV people do what they like

4) MSN changed their offer as I applied for it, bad timing

Nobody apparently thinks of how other people are affected by their plans or not. Not that it's nuclear physics, just caring. You needn't change your plans to favour others over yourself, but when you start a project and it goes phut, at least let everyone involved know.

The magazine at least appears to be alive and ready a month ahead. One way or another my media presence will grow, now it's started I know the ways and should be able to keep producing material and be used by a proportion of the media enquiries. The fact about 6 programmes were being made independently on alien abductions in a year implies at least a new interest even though the reports have never improved since the 1950s. Of course my own clients have provided marvelous reports to me, and have now extended beyond simple telepathy as the scientific data they have reported is unlikely to be known by humans as they wouldn't waste it if they did by hiding it. At worst they'd make weapons from it (why human society has not advanced to their level) but I can't see them surpressing such a phenomenon rather than use it to their evil advantages. So as well as telepathy I now have a scenario where the information given is beyond that from human-human reception. That is a step forward.

But until something impossible to miss appears it's just more smoke from the gun. But no bullets and no gun and no person shooting. I am also not supposed to reveal anything I know even if they do show me, which is fine as the few people who do care would find out anyway and the rest wouldn't believe it unless it happened to them. Meanwhile the evidence gradually builds but I really don't want to be on my deathbed before the truth is known.