Little steps

I'm making little steps back into the real world after 2 weeks of constant lack of energy with chicken pox. Second little essential shopping trip, and I'm having to limit my efforts to one at a time, especially as it's still 30C indoors (what's that, 86?) but so humid it would have the same effect on many people.
So I have a little freedom now, the little work I had this week was cut by other's germs, so am now left to my own devices. I was wondering if it was a good idea to waste about 4 cartridges, 100 sheets of printer paper and print my whole blog regardless. Up till now I print my favourites but leave most as a record of what I've done rather than anything entertaining or informative. I doubt I will, unless some office volunteers to do it using their equipment.

Meanwhile I ought to be meditating more, I am at least once a week which at least is regular, as that is my only true doorway out of hell. I say hell, imagine the Big Brother house but with no one else there, a free but relatively uninviting outside world with little beyond relatives and photographic scenes to attract me out into it and an assortment of health problems and hell is a pretty appropriate description. My house is probably exactly as I'd want it (though another room would help) and would prefer a more upmarket area but indoors I'm at home and pretty much as I was in other houses before. But knowing my writing is appreciated makes a huge difference since someone said how funny my other blog was. From all the descriptions of my efforts, funny is the highest praise and greatest aim. Even in therapy if you make a client laugh it distracts them from their problems. If I could fart at will a new method could be in the testing stages. It would certainly make me laugh if my therapist farted.

I certainly have no problems making kids laugh, it's not as complex as adults as you just find a few key words and you're the man. Piles, poo, manure, caca. A simple formula which rarely fails to deliver. I didn't even think it was funny until I was nagged to repeat my performance on holiday the following year and after a week of simple nursery words I got stuck in the realm of the mental toilet again. But it's a simple formula and seems to work as well now as it did then. Who knows why.
So having all this spare time alone makes me wonder. The physical force of inertia that says that things tend to stay as they are without an outside force. In my case an outside force is either personal or financial. Personal would mean my box, ie this house, would not be one of total isolation. Besides a few visitors including for work I am as isolated as would ever be possible outside a lighthouse on a rock in the sea. Everyone living alone can have visitors but they come and then go, just as my friends did when I was at school. I fantasise about how this could change, and oddly the most practical (but impossible) idea would be to rent my spare room as office space. They did this where I used to work by having a huge building and then renting the rooms they didn't need. This would provide a daily visitor or more to use my house, have their food in my kitchen and generally mean the house wasn't only mine. Of course they'd probably lock the room when they were away, but despite being supposed to work in the time they were here at least would probably talk to me as well and I can always listen to their phone calls if desperate...

This is the devil speaking to the prisoner who has nothing to do but think of ways to escape. It's tragic, and my visitor yesterday would be one route to a solution had she shared my feeling I have for her. Maybe she does, I have yet to discover. Two main aims, good sex and good meditation, body and soul. They overlap as if one is good the others improve as well. If I got more from it I'd be back meditating an hour minimum a day again, it means nothing what's going on outside, when you meditate you return to the same place which withdraws you from your environment and puts you in the same place wherever you may be physically. But no method works suddenly except in the rarest of cases, and whatever yoga I do (for that is the general category of the practises) it won't happen overnight. After those two aims, the next are fame and qualifications. I don't think I can add to my qualifications now, there would only be a masters degree or professional qualification, at great effort and expense and it's only being greedy wanting more even though the masters I started was the only course I ever took I understood as I picked subjects I did well in already. But fame is my next doorway, and can bring almost everything you want with it, people, women and money.

Even without stepping foot in a studio (though I dream of it regularly) I can perform from right here and do, and hope press interest eventually follows the TV showings. Writing about results from hypnosis and therapy would be well paid and raise my profile no end. I think the smaller articles get at least £100, and you can build this up to quite a decent income. I've had 2 years of practice writing here under every possible condition, and now have material waiting in me to come out daily (in a good way) as there is a combination of past events and existing knowledge to draw on indefinitely, combined with a TV like memory which allows me to recreate many events in the past almost as if I was there. That and a few fart jokes and it could all be sewn up.