Who knows?

I'm certainly being groomed for being in the present. I am in a rare position of a clear diary besides the usual work commitments. It still reminds me of putting on a new nappy and wondering when it'll be full of shit as it inevitably will be (OK or pee), but that is many years of negative programming, and whenever I was the totally naive optimist I was nearly always disappointed. But neither views are right, you have to ignore the future altogether (besides planning ahead). It is like death, ahead and out of our control. So it has to die. Nothing that involves putting our imagination a second or more in the future is sensible or useful. We all start with the tendency, and I am losing it with effort. My mind at least has now accepted there's no value in looking ahead, now the habit has to die as a result.

I can, however, pretend certain things could happen as an exercise in fiction, as long as I don't imagine it's going to be real. I say this as since yesterday I've only been on the computer when awake so can't exactly say very much. I still wonder about offending people (not that it's my problem as my views are my business and I never attack anyone personally) and when a fellow blogger's views offended me I sent him an email and he clearly didn't mean the sentence to have come out as it did. People are rarely as evil as we think they are from their writing as we don't usually check out their true motives as I did. And nothing I say is that unusual, the influx of third world migrants we've had is a local issue and anyone who isn't in that position should only criticise after it happens where they live and they see whether or not it affects them the same way it does here. Few places are like London. Basically take any social problem and magnify it by 5 and that's how it is here. Whatever the new maps tell you we're still the biggest urban area in the world regardless of population and having expanded widthwise are now copying the others by cramming them in to the areas already populated. Day by day houses and businesses are demolished to make way for Soviet style blocks, housing many times the number of people in the same spaces just like Moscow or Mexico City. But unlike those places our roads were made when the date had 3 numbers and the fastest thing on it would be a greyhound. Our roads were in place before the great fire in 1666 and to save money were retained to rebuild the city as quickly as possible. Any newer roads were following existing tracks and local objections made sure few were more than two lanes to guarantee speeds averaging 12 mph London wide, last time I looked.

But my views are, as I said, pretty typical of half the Londoners I know, but they wouldn't dare reveal them to anyone but the converted, while I have always believed in converting the others. Like Jesus (so I've been told) that will always open me up to the wrath of the believers in the old ways, and lose many friends as a result. Like I judge my friends on their politics. One is a communist, another (male) is a feminist. So what. I ignore politics with one and deliberately make jokes to the other. If they wanted to string up homosexuals (as I think another does) I couldn't really care unless it was aimed at me. In fact that person is virtually a Nazi, but somehow realised (probably from mixing with Jews all his life) it's not the Jews he has a problem with. If he did I would have to ditch him, as I could hardly not take that personally. And not being racist it really isn't fair to pick on any race as being inferior. The fact so many people I know sound and act English until you see them shows their race doesn't affect their being that much. The fact each group has good or bad is obvious, but then you hear members of the very groups I pick on and they say exactly the same thing, ie those particular representatives give them a bad name. A Jamaican teacher said the reason we have all the drug, gun and knife crime round here is not because they are Jamaican, but many the gangsters left Jamaica as they could do better here, so we ended up with their worst families. Combine that with the genuine racism where many employers don't give anyone ethnic a job and it makes the situation a lot worse. That is human nature unfortunately and all I do is report it.

So why despite my counter jogging along as normal a few people seem to have deserted me, and if so won't be reading this to question them, which is a nuisance, though emails have been sent in some cases. Meanwhile I'll end by speculating on the week ahead but in a positive way like I did before I realised it was unrealistic.

I do expect my lady friend at last, but can't speculate on the outcome. My friend from holiday has not replied a week later so that is off the system. Sky One should have the next schedule in 10 days but again what is on it remains a mystery. I wonder if one of the next 4 emails comes so will the others, that happens so often I now expect it. Unless there's a disaster I see a week of rest ahead, combined with long delayed housework. More gardening as always, and that's about it. Actually besides only one reply and one today (which was actually automated as it didn't address a word of my email I sent them) it's a virtual clone of this week but hopefully without the virus. That's why it never pays to speculate. Just because the same is usually repeated ad infinitum, it isn't the law. Though there isn't much else to do any more so does limit things a lot, maybe one new element could arrive, though not my friend who won't be back before 2009 and then probably 30 miles away from here. Now maybe if I disable the comment facility again people will appreciate it. You have been warned. Next time it's not coming back so easily.