Our true nature

I just wrote this in response to a question on a forum:

A totally different view is that awareness is the highest level of being, so as all we are is awareness (not a theory, looking right ahead with no mirror what are you?) then the nature of humanity is awareness, a body following that awareness wherever it goes (unless you can have out of body experiences) and what runs through that awareness is constantly changing and neither inside or outside the awareness as again, if you look directly, can you really assess which sensations are from within and outside? Is a sound in you or outside for instance? Is it only heard when it goes in your brain, or was it outside and inside at the same time? The answer is it is in awareness, you can't actually answer that question as it is just a sound. Then extend that for all the other things you are aware of (including thoughts) and you have a field of empty awareness peopled by a variety of sensations and thoughts which are never static but constantly changing. 

There isn't even you there when you forget. No person with a history, that goes away until you are reminded of it. After a few moments of absorption (natural meditation) you are what you are aware of, you have gone and only comes back when something reminds you of it. 
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seems the message is beginning to get through here as well- that just wrote itself and became more aware of the situation as I'd written it. That's what happens after enough practice.

The nature of enlightenment teachings

The nature of enlightenment and possible ways to reach it

 

David Howard LLB (Hons) Dip Counselling

 

My interest in enlightenment began when I was introduced by a friend, after already being interested in the supernatural and higher levels of consciousness for as long as I remember. When I discovered the possibility you could raise your consciousness permanently to its ultimate level I was quickly hooked. So I took the normal route of visiting teachers, reading books and trying whichever practices I was shown hoping sooner or later to see a result. I’d already just learned meditation from one of the biggest groups worldwide but could see whatever that offered it wasn’t likely to produce enlightenment so while continuing with that for its own benefits also continued to go for the ultimate change.

 

Rather than find a single teacher and stick with them I went to whoever was around in London at the time, and if I liked them and they returned may go and see them again. Most gave fairly similar methods and ideas, although some gave no methods at all besides satsang- listening to them and sharing their presence hoping something in you would shift as a result. Most others did some form of focusing on what was happening in the present as their techniques. There was also Ramana Maharshi’s dual methods offered by his own school of teachers, adding to this self enquiry and a mantra which are also offered in many similar groups. Since I began learning directly in 1997 I have yet to find much more than these three methods plus the potentially most powerful one of receiving the master’s power directly through the transfer of shaktipat. A relative few offer this, and it is not usually enough on its own to cause enlightenment in one or more applications, although can be capable of causing a permanent change. But it does show the recipient a direct experience of what they are to be aiming for, when it is felt, but it only works at the level of readiness the student is.

 

My own enquiries showed me I preferred the simple methods of putting my awareness in the present, with a number of variations. Self enquiry is basically asking yourself who you are and waiting for the answer to come. Some teachers have taken this as a vigorous and exclusive method but others say you only need methods to show you directly without needing to actively chase the answer in that way. But in the end the techniques themselves are numerous and the persistent use of your chosen ones is far more important than the methods themselves. As in yoga the reason there are so many different methods is that they are all designed to suit the individual rather than a one size fits all, whereas if a single one worked the best it would probably be well known throughout the community already. So the best method is to look around and find a teacher and teachings you resonate with and stick to them, and if necessary (as many teachers themselves did) move on when you find someone more suitable, as one teacher isn’t always sufficient to take you the whole way.

 

Focusing on the present, as with mantras, can be done formally or actively, meaning you both choose to sit and practice for a given time, and then when you think of it practice while doing whatever else you are doing as well. You can always be aware of what you are feeling regardless of your activities. I believe I may have found a teacher who has discovered the solution to the age old problem of dedicated students who may follow teachers and practices faithfully, often for decades, with little or no results. He spent some time investigating this and found ultimately they were using effort to practice the methods as an end in themselves rather than a means towards something else. His solution was to relax and only follow the methods in a more passive way and not use the mind and try and reach the result yourself. So rather than become an expert on concentration, mantra repetition or breath following but possibly in a tense way which blocks any changes, you passively carry them out in a relaxed way simply because they are doing something that’s good in itself. All meditation can be likened to sleep in this way, in order to become enlightened you cannot make it happen directly, any more than you can sleep at will, but create the best possible conditions for it to take place.

So overall all the different methods do not compete but go from the toughest and fullest regimes to the most passive and undemanding depending on what suits you as an individual.

 

The next barrier to enlightenment is the mind. I believe I have overcome my own doubts that enlightenment may not even exist, which would have stopped me progressing, as well as learning that we do not need to understand the process at all mentally for it to take place. Many teachers use complex technical and intellectual lectures which tend to do little more than confuse. Gangaji summed this up well. What they are doing is describing the world from an enlightened perspective which no one can understand until they are enlightened, as before then it means nothing. Telling you your pain and suffering is an illusion and you are never alone does not compute in duality and is pretty much superfluous information to give a student besides as an inspiration to what you may receive, but as that’s the experience of an enlightened teacher they tend to forget it is not universal and may do more harm than good when it does not chime with the students’ own experience. For me my only issue there was not believing enlightenment existed as a true state, as unless you find a master to give shaktipat and feeling a result, it is only a nebulous and unknown state almost impossible to imagine and not a lot easier to describe. I use ‘master’ in the sense of anyone who is enlightened, while not all teach when I use ‘teacher’ it does not guarantee they are also enlightened. My clearing came when a newly enlightened teacher came online and described his own feelings which were totally new to him and constantly changing as his enlightenment grew and sank in, and could at last relate to something which was indeed as good as what I had been hoping for and never described anywhere near as clearly and directly until that point. Until then I’d simply relied on the phrase ‘Whatever it’s like it’s better than now’, which meant I had something to aim for but not a clue what. Now I have a pretty good idea now and dare I say it may even have had fleeting moments when I may have spotted an element of it myself.

 

So the next point gained here is enlightenment is like a rebirth rather than a switch to a higher consciousness. This is because it is a new beginning where like a child you learn and grow but as an enlightened individual rather than within the illusion of duality. The shift isn’t from black to white but once enlightened you continue to evolve but in enlightenment. Louix Dor Dempriey, a shakti master in California describes enlightenment both as a shift and experience as the point where love takes over from fear. When your being is driven by more than 50% love or loses more of its fear to leave the love you cannot return to the fear. It is probably a fairly poetic and idealistic description but would certainly encourage me to find it. You can still learn once enlightened, take initiations and retreats and all the other methods used by students, as it continues to expand throughout life. Evolution appears to be infinitely built in all aspects of existence. Adyashanti describes it as returning to your natural state of conciousness from an altered state of the illusion of duality. There are in fact two stages towards enlightenment, as there is for many a transitional state of oneness before you get there. This is where you lose the boundary between you and outside, but there is still a you to experience it. True enlightenment or liberation only occurs when there is no illusion of a separate person to experience oneness, hence the Sanskrit ‘advaita’ – not two. That specifically does not refer to one as that leads to the idea I am one. Otherwise there is still an individual who is able to suffer. Some mistake oneness for enlightenment while others are happy to stop there and not go further.

 

There is also the kundalini explanation used by certain branches to describe the spiritual process and related changes involved. The life force within us all is normally restricted to perform survival alone, and the chakras along the meridian of the physical and associated energy bodies are solely carrying out their physical and emotional functions for that basic level. The yoga practices (as describe virtually all aimed towards enlightenment in that tradition) safely awaken the dormant power in the first chakra at the base of the spine, until once complete all seven are opened and with the final opening at the crown enlightenment occurs. The powers arrive with each chakra opening but are to be watched and passed by while on the journey to open them all otherwise you can get caught in one and not progress any further.

 

Knowing who is qualified or entitled to be a teacher is a tough question. There are two clear views here, either the conventional one that only an enlightened master is able to teach, and in the past many required many years under a master after enlightenment to allow it to settle and learn how to teach before being approved to yourself. As I pointed out, as it is impossible to show someone what it feels like to be enlightened it is also technically impossible to prove you are. Yet their masters claim to always know when a student is or not as they know exactly what to look for and will so far accept their better judgement.

The other view is anyone with the knowledge to teach and who can create results in students should be able to, and besides not being able to speak from the true state if you can still move people on then you are performing the function perfectly well. There are also many teachers who either became enlightened spontaneously or used so many methods they simply don’t know how they got there, so may be talking from the correct position but not have the theory to pass it on adequately. To me whatever works should be permitted- I am probably one of many students authorised to pass on at least one teacher’s work officially as he knows me well enough and I clearly get his work well enough to be trusted to spread the word and do work on his behalf in places he would be unable to cover additionally. I can always refer back to him if required and if uncertain would get him to fill the gap so not working alone anyhow. But there must be many teachers some of whom do not even realise they are not enlightened and I’d be interesting to know if their own results are any worse than those who definitely are.

 

I will try and explain what I have learnt now directly, and show the readers some methods (none my own as I am far from a master myself) that may point them in the right direction themselves. From my own enquiries enlightenment involves direct experience of our true nature. The exercise for this is for someone to ask you who you are, but you must answer before the mind comes in to answer with a name, a body or all the things we’ve learnt to associate with being a human individual. The direct answer before the mind and personal history comes in is ‘I am aware of this’, or variations of. You are only truly aware of your present experience and any more has to come from memory or external knowledge. If you look ahead or close your eyes can you see a body? No. You see whatever is in front of you or relative darkness. Where are you? Here. How old are you? No age, just now. Without a birth certificate reference or memories of years with numbers how do you know your age in years? Are you your name? Again, how can you have a name before you are given one? Or your job or profession. Are you doing it now? No. What are you doing now? Nothing- looking- feeling-  thinking. Who is doing this looking/feeling/thinking? No answer, if you eliminated the name, age, body etc already all you have is the awareness now of what the senses are providing with passing thoughts. That’s all there is and that’s all there ever was. Once this becomes apparent it is not so easy to slip back into the thought of duality unless you either choose to or stop reminding yourself every now and then before it becomes natural. This in itself is not enlightenment, but an exercise clearing the first blockage from it, the identity with the body and its associated history. But you are not your CV any more than the paper it is written on, you are just the awareness, as what is within that awareness changes the only thing that is constant so can be permanent is the awareness itself. So it pretty well covers the point of the illusion of ego, the separate self as a body-mind organism, as when you look directly it simply isn’t there. There is therefore no need to ‘destroy’ the ego as there was never one in the first place, which makes it a lot easier as a result.

 

The religious description of enlightenment is ‘God Realisation’, as it is equally impossible to experience God outside the individual’s awareness, enlightenment itself is called by many schools such as God is not a being outside us with a will of its own, but our own being once we become aware of it, as is all creation which we create while we are aware of it and which vanishes when we are asleep and not dreaming or unconscious. Some go as far as to say we can also create consciously, like waking up in a dream and becoming lucid. Yogananda and Sai Baba are the main current proponents of this view as is prevalent in and around India. In fact nearly all religions aim for enlightenment through their mystical branches, while Buddhism has this as its sole aim the mystical branches of Judaism- Cabala, Islam- Sufism and Christianity all teach the same thing but has ended up on the relative fringes. Jesus never set himself up as a special or superior being above others but said everyone could be as he was if they followed his path. He also demonstrated the siddhis or powers, and oneness is said to produce them as once we become aware we are all one we are then able to manipulate all around us as no longer separate. But you are taught not to linger or revel in this as it is the penultimate stage and not the end in itself. Buddhism in particular emphasised the long time it took for most to become enlightened, and as such used reincarnation as an explanation to continue the process over as many lifetimes as were needed. Liberation was therefore both from karma and reincarnation itself, although the bodhisattvas postponed their final enlightenment in order to stay here and teach.

 

I am in very little doubt this is a clear state we are all equally able to reach. The fact many teachers know the exact time and date it happened to them tells me there is a line which is crossed and can only trust the teachings of millennia that it is indeed genuine despite only affecting a relative handful of people and impossible to prove to outsiders. I have used the clues I have picked up over time to maintain my own trust and I like all hope one day as I continue to practice will know directly myself.

Looking at reality again

Due to the weather (with more expected) I've been in more than usual (even for me) so more time to blog of course. I got out for some food today at least, that was quite enough and if we get the heap overnight I won't be going anywhere tomorrow and probably start the painting I saved for such a situation. I even got out of a dodgy arrangement tonight due to the possibility of getting snowed in so has given a benefit as well. I emptied my stationery cupboard in case a letter I thought may exist was in there, I found one item I'd lost straight away and the rest was exactly what I thought was in there and no more and now I've got to put it all back.

I've done a bit of research on the TV programme being syndicated in the US, it basically appears it's still on cable but on many more channels which presumably are available to a lot more people than Discovery. The TV there is so complicated I have no idea what's available otherwise but a move in the right direction. The current theme has been hunting for treasure, one of my favourite activities and began when I found the negative with part of the old road sign on it. I trawl every available area like when I used the metal detector, uncover loads of ring pulls and rusty shit but the occasional coin and even the odd item of gold. I am making as many starts as I can while unable to finish without another person's decision or pure luck. It's a good game as long as you actually win it sometimes.

The current seeking is satsang on Youtube, once I had to visit lectures or watch videos people provided, now I can watch, albeit partially, excerpts of the best teachers around, and realised now although discoveries can work in the mind to remove a blockage, they don't require the mind to work anything out to become enlightened. Use the mind and you bring it into place, so enlightnment has to work without the active use of the mind through meditation- direct experience. That will truly be a deliverance. I see the good and bad in life, but does seem as taught to even out so not worth relying on as the lows cut down all the highs. If you're happy with it then it's fine, but if you're not it's time to look for the only possible way out.

The snow is now piling up, if I do a good painting tomorrow as a result all the better. I've been making plans in reserve for months, you have to when no choice.

A journey to enlightenment

I will see what occurs here today, whether the message seems to be guided or just my usual bollocks. I am discussing enlightenment on Facebook and seems to show that besides actually reflect and confirm your own enlightened state the teachings should work whoever's teaching them. If someone said 'do this and that and something might happen' and it did, I wouldn't even have known or cared whether they were enlightened as long as it worked. Plus many who are don't know how it happened but are moved to teach anyhow. I've learnt for my own benefit and narrowed it down to what I'd call the tough or basic practises, only different in their speed of effect. Like any other if you spend half a day or more in some form of meditation it does add up. Unlike physical exercise meditation is not tiring so can keep it up indefinitely in different forms during the day, it will drive most people potty so only for the very strong, but seen the results online myself.
Otherwise you simply focus on the moment and keep that up as much as possible. It won't push as directly as the specific mantras and chakra work but won't interrupt most of your normal life either. The teaching is simple, the dialogue appears more to be answering individual questions. I've asked many and heard most, and the answers are always similar whoever is asked. It's like doing a degree so once you are familiar enough you can pass the exam, but this isn't theory but practice, you change your awareness, you notice something in a new way that tells you you are not the limited body you thought you were. All on trust. The master explains they are enlightened, individual ones describe what it's like then and currently, and it corresponds. Why make it up? Buddha is unlikely to have made it up and every buddha since both would have a job doing so, and others claim they can easily tell if someone is or not when they are enlightened themselves.

So if you're dealing with the mind, which is the main if not sole blockage to enlightenment, I can probably deal with them. And if most people want to know the usual set of queries, I have sourced them from the masters already, often directly. I'd never offer myself as a teacher but if asked am happy to do what I can. I genuinely have never experienced anything I'd claim was close to enlightenment as you often get small clues along the way, so it's a complete mystery to me so far. But the synchronicity itself means you're in the flow and is the first sign so it's not just feelings that indicate a change but your outer life. I am also more and more aware how everything is connected as I keep seeing it, and not just me but many people around me see it as well, often since I pointed it out for them the first time. In the end you can see every aspect of out there being connected and finally manipulate it to your own preferences. Once you've enjoyed that you then don't need to and just accept everything as it is.

Now my ego may enjoy teaching but then again who moves my ego? If you are moved to do something negative then it has to be your ego, but when moved to help others then the fact you like doing it is the motivation to get you out there and do more and more. The fact you may get some pride or satisfaction for it is a good thing, not a reason to claim a false source.

Spiritual development update

If everything really does make sense then maybe I have cracked it. If everything is connected then it isn't a theory it is all one, but explains what I see happening already. If we're connected of course hearing something I'm reading or saying at the same time would happen as it's all me so my thoughts and their thoughts are linked up. And ultimately there is no other as it's really just one, and when I'm ready for this revelation then it will come. And the way it's put together even those who have realised this can still teach others even though they realise there are no others, but you deal with that when you get there.

I reckon some of the things that wind me up are sent to make me find ways to stop them doing so, some are dealt with and others aren't, but any I think is a miracle after growing the seeds for 50 years. I react to everything and way more than other people within my areas of sensitivity. That's genetic and handling anxiety at levels where the whole body can reach the point of failure is a tall order for anyone. Unfortunately when you've had a sample of the worst really happening it no longer seems irrational to react as if more is on its way. We can be blamed when we know we are wrong and carry on but not for automatic reactions as we didn't create them. There's no choice how you feel or think, only what you do with the thoughts, ie reject or accept them.

So far I've done pretty well and it's only Tuesday- on Sunday I was thinking although Streetview's opened up loads more old signs because the direction ones were nearly all by junctions I doubted I'd find any more, and noticed I had just one black (rural) panel while the others were all blue. At bedtime I decided to do my weekly or so check and another direction came up 15 miles north on probably the only road I hadn't checked in the area when I drove round there as it wasn't yet on Streetview, and a black panel. How about that? There's more connection as for whatever reason that complete scenario came to me a few hours before it became real. It has green algae all over it so brought soapy water and cleaned it off before I took the photo of it. Work today, just the one although two were expected, which was how I preferred it (money? who needs money?...) and delivered my 4th lot of election leaflets in the warm sun instead. More work tomorrow and going to my mum's so that's covered and Thursday can look after itself.

My next official request/prayer is for nasties not to interrupt my peace as they so often do, including the ones that happen and the ones that may happen. Regardless of my extreme reactions (magnified by being on my own) why should I be bothered with this crap especially if it's all my own creation? I'll just uncreate it in that case with the help of any powers that be. Sometimes I wonder if people destined for awakening are given more stress as it puts them off the real world and forces us to search outside it. If you're happy with everything as it is who'd want more?

The wrong sort of shit

A bit of spiritual stuff today, as the signs have been out. The energy when certain things, good or bad, can happen whatever you do is a phenomenon I know well and science is unaware of. The fact most of what happens isn't yet known by science doesn't stop it being real though.
I play a guess the word game every hour I can with about 100 other people, and have been about top 5 since it started this year. I had some near misses since the weekend and was overtaken and finally won again today, and before you see the other guesses you have a single blind guess first with just two letters and nobody else's words to help you. I checked the 45 minute reveal and saw I'd won that as well straight after the other. I do believe it opened up the winning energy and was tuned in for that time so I could do it again. How many other things can I do in the same way I wonder?
That leads me to the presensing of wins as well. Many times when I've played tough to win quizzes I've come second a few times within a day or so before winning. Once you get close you feel you can do it and normally do very soon after. Now if that applies to every goal then maybe I sense I'm close to enlightenment. Most people on the path get signs and improvements along the way that show them but I've never had anything obvious. But besides seeming to get it now (13 years of teaching and I bloody well should) sometimes when I practise I notice a peace and calm way beyond before, even if just for a few seconds. It's so far a physical phenomenon probably more like meditation which I've done just as long, but feels a bit different. The understanding side only applies to our enthusiasm to practise, as if we understand and believe in it then we're more likely to keep going. I know I'm doing the right thing and seen the same teachings from most of them although there is the quick path which involves complex work most of the day. As the guru says only a handful of people are on it, some are enlightened and very quickly (within months) but I have more other things to do as well and can still make it if I'm going to the usual way.

I've been pretty busy since the last entry, done a couple of music videos and another article written soon after the last came out. As I am aware of the action is the push and the result is the pull. We can only push the car of the project to get it moving, and then hope someone else picks it up and pulls it towards success. And as some teachers say the same after I worked it out myself I don't think I've got that wrong. If this guy at the gym and some others really think they can decide they want something and get it either we've all missed something or they're imagining it. Maybe I have missed a link here but not aware of any.

So I'm making starts continually, some die on the vine and others grow buds but no flowers. But each is the proverbial seed and even the bible explained it's not the seed that causes the success but the ground it goes on. And I'm often planting mine in the wrong sort of shit apparently...

Filling the space

The obvious subject is what I've been doing but it is such a routine I ought to just say 'see last week' etc. The details of what I'm now doing will sound so trivial I may as well pass over them and see what else can be extracted from a mind which has been emptied of material over the period of writing here, and has apparently not changed, at least not from this side. Not that anyone else does very often, but I do work on it for various reasons and for the critics who would like to see changes will add these are for how I feel, not for how it is presented to others. That suits me fine and people who don't like it just don't like me.

I've been reading more channeled material now I've got the website, and sadly how both the readers and producer of this and nearly all other channeling I've read don't spot they are actually saying nothing new and often nothing at all I'll never know. Having said that the only exceptions so far are my own alien abductees as they give solid facts I can check up, and I was asked to have a go myself which seemed to work. But they all say the opposite of the popular contacts, that they will not be revealing themselves or anything else in the near future, and that does correspond with reality.

On the other hand we have our intuition, which tells us things we know are true with little evidence, and often discover are when evidence arrives. That of course improves with practice and although for instance the contrary data on global warming is arriving regularly I could sense it was all a scam very quickly before this did. It always works for evil people as well, two I picked lied, stole and cheated it turned out, before and after I met them. The second, an associate of the first, struck me as pure filth the minute I met him and my friend who did know him confirmed it. Luckily I have recently been able to use it for good as well, and done the same very quickly for a few very special people and as far as I know am correct. It's harder to confirm a positive than a negative as it's easier to let people down when you start off good. I should know, there is a growing line of examples.
On the other hand, taking my core teachings (advaita), all this is within the duality and only a part of a game or dream once you merge with all that is. Till then it's very real so I may as well keep writing about it. But my own intuition now tells me the teaching is correct so can see the activity is something on the surface of what is very peaceful underneath. That escapes polarity, feeling happy or sad is temporary and swings quickly or slowly whatever we do. The singularity, the constant peace behind it, is the place us students aim for, for the obvious reason is it has to be better than the alternative.
I did have to take this on trust for a long time, and technically still do, as I've never felt it, but can now recognise it in some others so am beginning to relate to it indirectly. It has shifted from a mystery only told by others to something I can sense. Progress I hope.

So within the existing duality the routine continues, reminding me very much of the dire period between O and A levels when I was free and alone, so the freedom was almost totally wasted on me. And back then at 16 I didn't have the resources and ideas I have now so was even worse. But not having a clue when it will change is the worst part, as it's like the sun hasn't come out for ages and maybe never will again. I do the starts but others do the finishes, and many come all from outside as well rather than me having any part in making them happen. I've analysed it in every way I can and can see no other conclusion.

Pretty well buggered at the moment

Christ it's become boring recently. There's only so much I can do while nothing happens around me. How long this will last is anyone's guess, but besides having no actual known problems there's sod all else on top of that, which is not enough for anyone.
I keep as busy as anyone can, and had a couple of jobs to do for family today that diverted me and the camera to Hendon and Temple Fortune, plus the kosher shop which was useful. One friend says he can't be bothered to go out and about on his own so stays in (with his parents) whereas I am better off going out as there are no parents or anyone else in or out.

The list of people not replying reflects one a few years ago, about 7 in a row, none with any more reason not to than any other. I can just as easily get the same all reply in a row, but that's how so much in my life happens. The eastern view this is all a dream makes far more sense than the western evil god, as if I was creating all this the consistencies would be as it was all from one source. Not god, no way. As we have no control where we find ourselves in a dream we have none in waking life either, but both are possibly products of the same consciousness. They say once you start seeing it for what it really is you become enlightened, and I am barely in any doubt at all now that's possible as it can be done with drugs as well as naturally. For some a constant interest will allow it to happen while others work at it with a teacher full time for years and get nothing. Meanwhile two women are gossiping on the radio about leg injuries, which is probably the best of a bad lot at this time of night. If they switched to masturbation the station would suddenly start attracting most listeners from the other channels, but would they risk it?

I expect anyone in a situation with no clear means of escape will become overwhelmed with frustration eventually, what the hell can you do? Life carries on elsewhere normally while I am like Rome burning while everyone else fiddles. None of the TV and media work is going smoothly either, people are rebelling over the latest TV contract which will kill it altogether after 2 year's work if an agreement isn't reached. The biggest problem with the internet is although we have the freedom to interact in virtually every way you can, you can't actually meet all but the smallest minority of people there as they are spread evenly across the world. Considering I rarely if ever would travel more than 10 miles to meet anyone due to health problems, socially the internet does not make very much difference, rather a parallel world than an extended one.

So meanwhile I'm almost running out of housework to do, which is saying something. This week I've done shopping in Golders Green and Hendon and ordered parts for the car, as well as photos in all those places plus Finchley and Queens Park. But after the trips out alone (the one-date sort of girlfriend did come with me a few times earlier in the year but is away now as well) I return to the same place and situation. Besides tenants for a few years, this is now 16 years I've lived on my own, so every reason to complain as besides one offer from hell not a single person wanted to live with me. So many problems have answers and I specialise in offering them, so am very well qualified to see where they simply don't exist. Just like doctors who can't offer any treatment. Buggered.

The ultimate satsang

Plenty of activity for a change. Firstly for some reason there appears to be a whole new heap of advaita lectures online, and most I've never heard of. I think I've got it. Enlightenment has had a bit of a dodgy press. The two elements of difference and amazing experience appears to be wrong. Every person I've listened to says the one thing. If you look at how you are now, but differently, that's it.

Technically they are right. What am I now? Simple. Nothing, awareness of that nothing, and a whole lot of stuff within that such as thoughts, feelings, sounds and images. But no 'me' as such behind them, and certainly no past or future as well.

So does that mean I'm enlightened? I can see that very clearly, mainly because a couple of them actually explained it clearly. Without using the hundreds of extra pages one uses I can repeat it clearly as well. I am what is here now, consisting of awareness and stuff going on within it. What else is there? Nothing. The bonus for many is when they discover this they get a great feeling of peace, relief and often this lasts possibly indefinitely. Enlightenment is only there when it does last. And why would everyone bother to spread the word if it wasn't better to know this and be aware of it than anything we had before?

So there is nothing we need to get or be different, just see what is there now but as it is. Does it work for you?