Because I can

The week has been slightly different for a change, partly as it rained almost non stop again, and partly as I was also working or out visiting relatives. I'm still looking for old road signs but not found more yet and am pretty tired anyway. It's finally been a good business week as it was time some more money came my way, petrol's up, gas bills are up and so is just about everything else, while the interest rates are a record low and set to stay there. Penalise the savers and encourage the borrowers, that's the way to teach morals isn't it. Fuckers.

Anyway, I now have what Buddha would call emptiness. Zen emptiness possibly or just nothing. A recent video explained the flow being where there is no connection to past events to hold you back, so your attention flows from event to event in the present. I get it now and will watch myself when I see myself slipping back. I also joined Twitter yesterday (davidahoward if you want to look) after stumbling upon someone's page and seeing it won't take over the computer as it doesn't appear to pop up the new tweets although Facebook now does.
Being rather an expert on fast food have just seen Cup a Soup now has oxtail flavour (never seen it before anyway) and am just about to try it. These are the little things in life and only better when shared with another person. My experience is rarely our experience so can't talk about it again with whoever didn't share it with me. Meanwhile although my bank is the only one I know to let you pay stuff in at the hole in the wall my usual one was vandalised, I went a mile the wrong way to the next to find it broken and had to go another couple of miles the other way to find one that worked. Small but irritating.

All I can think of ahead is writing my next article, the rest will either be a repeat of every other week minus the interesting bits, or something will arrive at the time. But either way I've run out of ideas. It's times like this I really need something to happen from outside, but it doesn't usually besides the road signs in the last year. Hopefully good news will follow.

Personal summary

Before I start why the hell have blogger stopped linking our profile interests? I only found the linked blogs (which 2 people have just pulled, thanks guys...) and now we have these fucking pointless keywords which only link to topics in our own blogs, and I write the same damn topics every time so are redundant anyway.

Otherwise little has happened, happening or changed. I'm here blogging now simply as there's nothing else to do, I did buy some more charcoal blocks for my incense and 2 from 4 brake blocks as they only had the long ones for the front wheel which so far won't come off anyway. This is what I'm driven to writing about. More bleeding accounts tomorrow (error and company checks, wow...) then a very rare free client who wormed his way into a free sample. Then once I'm free I expect to go to Swiss Cottage just to get 2 more station photos (again, look what banality I'm reduced to) and anything else I find along the route. I have found a number of nice roads in Temple Fortune now and decided it's better to move somewhere better than not at all even though it's not perfect. At least my plans are now fixed should the money arrive. Hillcrest Gardens is between other roads and I may never have even stopped to look until last week.

I was also given a lecture on how easy it is to go out and make new friends. At least it reminded me how few people qualify as friends for me and clearly not everyone has to have someone so exactly right. I've been around and the only people I meet who qualify are generally abroad on the internet nowadays. Hard luck for me as the others are my clients I'm not allowed to mix with socially. I knew from a few years old if someone was right as a friend and if not nothing could make it more than a casual rare visit. The others I could spend weeks with and it was a line which was very clearly drawn. My mum asked me and I think the last new proper friend I made was in 1981. Honestly! I did meet someone in 1994 or so as well but was more hard work so only made the margins. And these aren't women, just friends. I didn't need new ones as I kept the old ones. At least when the last one left the country in 2002 I met a girlfriend for a while who ended up incarcerated by the NHS soon after we met so that never reached its conclusion had her health been OK. Then I was on my own, literally.

Now I have my routine and see family instead of friends, who are all alone now like me. I go out, usually on my own (mind you during the day everyone else was working) and sadly hardly ever visit outside the family as nobody really asks me. I still believe things usually change naturally and I pick up friends by chance rather than effort. And I only need one at a time so not such a huge demand really. As I've said before my personal qualities tend to go to extremes, either very good or very poor. My social skills are apparently slightly better than a 7 year old, more like someone with mild autism who's been to classes. My understanding seems to outstretch most, no credit to me, and like in the gym physically I can either do a lot on some exercises or the minimum on others. Even my arms and legs can pull or push the maximum on a few machines and hardly anything on others depending which muscles are used. As someone said, we are all designed differently and this is my blueprint, what I am and not to be tinkered with by critics who want me to be either like them or not like them, depending if they see in me thier own faults or ones they despise. But I'll remind everyone now, my faults harm me and not others, so leave them be. The worst I'll do is not join in an arrangement from agoraphobia, my loss. But I help whenever and whoever I can and know my heart is in the right place

Besides that past Tuesday is currently clear. Swiss Cottage, then I'll have to wait and see. Last week collected a lot, work and then 3 lots of photos, plus at least a provisional decision on moving in the future. Little more past present or future, yet.