Being too clever

Of course putting your life out there for all to see opens it up to full scrutiny, and of course judgement. However unless someone's actually hurt someone else then what's to judge? If people have problems they're suffering already so judging them as well just adds to it. Enough said.

Back to my reality. Not having a life is not actually a crime, and I share it here partly not to share it with people directly as I know they have to listen and readers can simply stop. You do have a choice unlike poor sods on the phone who can't keep inventing doorbells ('don't worry, I'll wait'), meals ('carry on eating, I'll be OK'), places to go ('OK, I'll go in a minute...') etc. You can't hold it in, and however bad it sounds it isn't. Other than that I'm learning loads of spiritual practice and philosophy, and even these little trials are sent partly to learn about them. Once you master any new situation it's off the problem list. I suspect I'm reaching the PhD end of the problems, ones so tough if I can crack that then I can crack anything. At almost 51 it's about bloody time as well thank you. I'm on Facebook standing up to the professional scientists responsible for your taxes and mine being raised to levels last seen in the feudal system, and despite nothing beyond O level science believe my logic can beat their maths any day. In the end intuition and logic win over everything, I noted yesterday that their behaviour told me instead of computers becoming so intelligent they could start thinking, intelligent people are getting so good at science they're stopping thinking and people are becoming like computers and not vice versa.

Once all loose ends are tied up I'm dropping that mission. I've fired all barrels at them and unless one or two who haven't commented actually challenge any of their own concepts as a result all I see are 'It's already settled, why are you wasting everyone's time?'. All I can say is it's better than wasting everyone's money. At least it's isolated my intuition, I had no scientific reasons for doubting global warming, but after a short time the reports I read conflicted with what I expected to follow. Guesses were getting further into the future, old ones were being altered, etc etc, and soon realised if they weren't right they had to be wrong. There is no grey area here. As you can't prove a negative, they have to prove their case and no one needs to try and disprove it, but the way they operate if you can't at least show they've got it wrong somehow they stand firm, so I scour for hundreds of studies, any of which could pull a few foundations from their case if true even if the rest proved 'discredited' as they claim all are. By professional scientists who disagree with them. It doesn't say much about their field if it's so easy for their colleagues to get it wrong, there shouldn't be the scope for it if you're so sure of your area it is used to make world policies.

I reckon these scenarios are here to teach everyone involved. If you have a bug to be fixed, you need something to raise it to the surface. Judgement is a pretty heavy bug to carry, and one which spreads around you like the shadow of a huge storm cloud across the sun. It covers up all your other qualities, as however clever, funny or caring you are, once you pass judgement all of those are gone. And just pointing out other people's problems doesn't make me judgemental, as we all have them, and only improve by discovering them and hopefully fixing them when we do. As I seem to have reached the toughest ones I am doing what I can to fix the final bugs I discovered in myself, but don't see that willingness in everyone who keeps reminding me I should to do the same for their own. I saw them long ago but wasn't my place or business to point them out unless they were aimed at me directly. I give the benefit of the doubt as well but as my intuition spots them before I do it is rarely wrong and see whatever I suspected is nearly always proved correct. I don't expect anyone to change though as people rarely do, but at least accept the observation and keep being judgemental, uncaring, undiplomatic, tactless, whatever, but at least know you're doing it and either revel in it and carry on or decide it's not getting you anywhere and learn to let it go. At least I am able to do that. Spock Out.

My guardian angel

So who thinks we have a guardian angel? And who would like one? And if we do then how do we still manage to get in so much trouble? Good question.
Anyway, I often find that if I have a subject (and often when I don't) I start writing about something and the information just comes to me. I've barely ever paused on any of my writing since I no longer needed it to be marked, and rarely had to edit anything for publication or had it edited (although the bad ones grammar wise do need eviscerating by me first but can usually spot them before they get sent away). Conversations with God is written that way, half anyhow (that's the God bit), as many others claim. It's God's own job to justify some statements when apparently written for me, and just have to be patient and hope the proof comes out somewhere else later, although I'm usually quite confident it's correct regardless.

Maybe we have to show we can look after ourselves before it starts happening? Tough love? I certainly only started getting it after 49 years where I did it all myself and have the damage to prove it. I didn't screw up everything, did well on many, but like any other set of tasks got some so badly wrong it caused major problems. All I have is what I have now, aren't too bad considering but the anxiety is way beyond what it should be based on all sorts of similar events in the past. My lower brain is reacting before the thinking part and only tablets and miracles can retrain it or bypass it in the slightest. I'd like the angel to work on this next as it can spoil more or less anything and probably totally a waste of time to have it at all.

Otherwise I'm just getting on with it, a couple of women are around (just like waiting for buses, always has been), neither adequate to requirements but unless others (one will be nice) arrive will have to do. It's stopped me wasting time or being lost this week anyway and better than being on my own within reason. Maybe the criticisms I've been getting recently were so I could realise not to judge myself whatever others were doing, as it ought to make me realise I'm not doing anything wrong by disagreeing with them rather than bending to their judgement as most people do. That helps no one in the end as if you make them feel they're wrong and it's their fault (even if it is) they only take it as insults and teaches them nothing. You have to present any help or advice in a caring way or it's just more rudeness and we instantly turn off when that's offered. Goodness knows if any of the unconverted have been changed by what I write on anything, but if I don't then I'll never stand a chance. And rarely if ever learn the fruits of my labours but that's not part of the formula.

A bit more information

There are two types of criticism, informed and judgemental. Now my anonymous reader who loves to stand back and feel superior by reflected comparison is clearly of the second type, and had he the brains to understand eccentricity, instead of like common people throughout the ages condemn it, none of what I write would go straight over his head. I say he, but being anon I should really say it but it doesn't read well.

A little about phobias for those who do want to know, agoraphobia and claustrophobia are both misunderstood and actually the same thing. Agoraphobia is the fear of leaving home and claustrophobia is the result once you've left there. Taking photos is open ended, meaning I go and come back when I feel like it. The exact opposite of a job.

Now I've got that out of the way, there's little else to report, but continue wishing nothing less than serious illness on anon simply as it's the only way he'll learn the truth, as he refuses to listen to those who know. Their choice and can reform in time to avoid such fate.

I can't really follow that.