Still keeping busy

I've still been around, and do my daily blog elsewhere nowadays when more people actually see it. But I've also ended up opening another blog here understandingfraud.blogspot.com as my two articles generated no interest from publishers so put them plus the climate conspiracy page there so anyone can read them directly. It shunted the third to another page even I have trouble locating although it's my blog, but all there now.

Meanwhile I've been taking photos on trips for the map a few times a week and running out of places I can get to in daylight now till the spring. I then returned to my popular video tours and the camera's corrupting the files so spent two days editing rickets and counting, currently placing a message I haven't paid for the program on the film as that was the only one which processes corrupt files. Bastards.

My life has been active so far, and besides learning more meditation methods (each has a different purpose, they don't duplicate function) end up each time completing projects but being in exactly the place I was before. I am following the route of Conversations with God (down Roger, it's nothing to do with religion) by learning to control my own life directly, far more traditional witchcraft than modern religion. Based on the multidimensional model, where we are limited by three dimensions through our senses and then learn to open up to more, ultimately infinite. That is the name of my game and any mention of God is incidental as it's a personal mission with instructions from books and lectures. The actual end is the name of God 'I am', as in I am God. Then it makes sense. Examples being when I can start off knowing very little about a subject I'm interested in, and start answering a question on it and the answers just flow. Then sooner or later it turns out I'm right. This is the psychic level of linking with universal mind, as it's all out there, but 3D minds tell us they don't have the evidence and won't accept it. But the longer I watch the more there is, and Barack Obama is proving to work for the enemy in every move he makes, as I spotted on day one. You end up having to trust such information on the source (me in this case) alone once they've got a track record. I trust myself now on it anyway.

So in trying to control life I must look for the reason for everything. The ones which are obvious messages imply the rest are not so obvious, and as Jung said, when you see the motive behind everything then nothing can be hidden from you again. He used psychoanalysis, I use other methods not requiring others to help in person. For instance I've reached the point now where my two outdoor activities are closed for a bit, and although still free and have things to do indoors like to go out first before settling down for the evening. I have a couple of longer photo trips I could do before spring but need a long run and the energy to do them. Since I've discovered my life seems to be guided in this way I am hoping whatever happens something will point me in the right direction tomorrow and find something useful to do. Besides the possible photos if not then at the moment I'm stumped. I made a video today which proved my camera is now faulty as I bought a new pack of DVDs and it did the same thing it did last time, so short of buying a new one (who does repairs now?) am going to need a program and days to edit them (you'd be amazed how long it takes- saving the project at the end takes over an hour let alone loading them and cutting bits out) as it makes a good film and leaves a virus thingie in it that only one program can currently deal with and then covers the screen with its message to say I shouldn't be using it.

The aim it to reach a point when I have more than I did before, so when a job is done I don't return to the same place I was already. There's a list of alternative improvements which are required, and as none are technically in my direct sayso will just keep going and aim myself there indirectly. I've been around long enough to know limits and on a programme last week a sociologist was talking about so many false hopes people have they can sort things out which aren't in their power to do so. In the end the best thing we can change is ourselves, and the better we are the less the crap outside bothers us. I keep at it and if no one wants to publish my work, women aren't interested in me without a certificate of insanity and my friends move further and further away that may not be fixable but I just won't mind so much. It's the best we can do without a miracle.

How far will the guidance go?

I am watching the system closely at the moment. All's well that ends well has always been my view, and should a system able to deliver that in the short term represent the whole, then it could be possible for every single area of my life to fall into place on its own, as it has the last two days already. I'm not calling this God or any other label as the best logic would tell us it is only our own subconscious pulling the strings and as such not external to our own being. But regardless of source my conscious mind made plans, possibly inspired in themselves, but with only those two specific plans ended up with every possible outcome I hadn't planned or expected and couldn't have if I tried. The road signs are a hobby like any valuable antique collector. They were abandoned in 1963, and the main prohibition and warning signs were replaced soon after, except for a few mainly private roads where they weren't covered by the rules or a few where they were overlooked. Direction signs did better as they are telling you the identical information whatever the style, and each is unique as specific to that location. Streetview has allowed me to now drive roads online and then anything that turns up is visited and photographed if still there. Half or so I've come across since 2008 are gone already, and would have no record if not photographed first.

So, having streetviewed nearly all the feasible areas I moved on to a new project of driving as far as I could to cover more map squares for a different site. With my physical limitations an hour or so each way is enough before I can feel like I've come down with something so 30 miles is pretty well it at the moment and fast running out of places as a result. My last reasonable one was planned for Sunday but as I was up too late had to think of an alternative. The map told me Purley was the only quick one I had left to do down that way, and set off, planning to turn right where I normally turn left. Except there was a straight on on the same bend hidden by the corner where I normally turn, and we took that and ended up on the same road we'd just turned off as it was a loopback. The map said turn right on the next main road which also went to Purley, via a smaller road, and half way down I stopped to take photos and saw an old sign on the corner, becoming two on closer inspection. No one else had posted them or I'd have gone, and had apparently missed that spot on Streetview as I hadn't coloured the map in on the yellow or orange roads and trusted my memory by pencilling all new signs discovered. That alone needed about three or more steps to get to that point, but the next day I did the longer trip.

A month ago someone took about six old signs in Surrey where I was and lost the notes, and I located a few bar one with few clues as to its location, and after three weeks on Streetview had only eliminated half of Surrey. I planned an exact route and the very final point where I expected to turn, not possible to get lost as a single long main road, had that sign I'd spent weeks searching for. The chance of planning a route finishing at the exact spot a random sign was located after I'd seen a photo of the road to recognise the setting rather than before where it may have been missed are almost zero. So as well as doing both planned trips had mopped up three signs I'd probably not have come across otherwise except if he'd remembered where the last one was eventually (and if not after a month wouldn't be that likely).

Extending from there, I was aimed at these signs regardless of my intent and plans. I planned to take photos in new areas, and virtually lost all hope of finding any more signs. If weird stuff happens enough it tells me it's actually not weird but happening outside our previous knowledge of the world. If so then the signs are only one demonstration among everything. Why not everything else? Today I was inundated with jobs to do before I even woke up as all the messages were waiting for me. Granted today was my day off after two on the road, and just planned to take the bike out to get some food. I ended up working this afternoon, being booked for two more jobs and having to drive across London tomorrow as I left my camera somewhere. Normally it would be pissed off but if life is sending me in these directions and can place rewards there maybe each apparent task is to get me something I couldn't have got otherwise. It's got me a heap of signs so I know it can.

How I'd plan it

I am going to see if I can fill in the gaps in my guidance now, by imagining it all (see the rules in the Celestine Prophecy) and seeing where it should go ahead if complete. It has worked now, using the medium of road signs which I collect, and the latest was to aim me towards a negative where I'd sent the prints off at the time as were evidence for a road accident. That was the first one I knew and missed, and although the result was tiny and fuzzy you could at least recognise which one it was. I am hoping, possibly even guessing I am heading for an eventual spiritual growth- the lessons I've had over the years have been as much as anyone not actually living in an ashram, and to get nothing out of it besides the ability to tune into people and places to pick up random bits of information seems a bit like poor value. The guidance, rather than making me actually feel good (I should have such luck) has given me material objects, no people yet but helped my collections and done other small things since which I am pretty clear are part of it.

So what could it do ahead? I have my list. My career, unpaid or otherwise, in the media- so far I've really created the lot quite well myself but am hardly either a household name or earning a penny from it. A little nudge in the right direction would of course help there, as the breakthrough to a national paper or TV station is the only thing that would complete that job. People are next, as my friends have moved and spread around so I barely ever see them (OK , I see the ones left over who are a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but no one should be left to resort to that, so one or two around regularly would make a huge difference. Needless to say my own spiritual development would make me feel better whatever else was going on. I've put together a huge collection of methods from Youtube and products bought thereof, and Louix Dor Dempriex seems to have the trick, as it's the only thing I've ever felt something happen whatever my mind thinks of what I'm being told to do. The others I learnt make sense but diddly squat to show from them yet. Then the losses and loose ends. I want to live back in the area I used to, the most expensive in the world (no, I don't need to exaggerate), get back more of the things I missed if possible including my IQ test results (old or repeated if necessary) so I can finally join Mensa on their new rules, find anything else I could have had like the original sign photo but hadn't yet located, and anything (or anyone) I thought I'd lost.

Considering I now have a more or less complete old road sign photo collection, four TV speaking appearances, one published article, every possible known meditation method in case they actually do something eventually, and most of my finances sorted out (except for the big move of course) some things are covered but there's so much more left. And I have the recognised methods of manifestation I seem to have got to work a couple of times which will continue as part of the system to use, and really need to sort out the anxiety so I'm not scared of disaster whenever the slightest thing sets me off. There are very good reasons for this combined with my existing condition- where what you fear the most actually turns real you have the imagination turning into reality so the world is no longer at all a safe place. I'm covering one area by one, eliminating the first items on the list and hopefully if I end then there'll be none left and I'll be free of the monsters at last. It is mainly based on lack of information so until you know whether something's dangerous or not you tend to assume it is. Better safe than sorry, and having to test every single area. As Louix says, enlightenment is when love takes over from fear, so if I get rid of enough fear (I only need it where one dominates the other, not 100%) I will make it. How many do is another story, but the less fear I have the better regardless.

So I'd end up with the woman, friends again, living where I wanted to, famous, stable and maybe even enlightened. Maybe if I get some more messages in dreams, random (apparently but not) information and news that helps and basically divide the work half by me and half by outside as both need to work together to win. All is connected and if it all fits together then things happen the right ways. But less pain please.

I'm still here

It seems pretty certain that spiritual growth involves many tests- we are sent our worst possible experiences to see if there's any way we can deal with them better. I don't know if I am but they turn up regularly like the cat being sick while you're watching TV or having dinner and ruins whatever else you're doing. I have no cat to do that now but life has an infinite number of variations and all need clearing up one way or another as most don't disappear on their own. I doubt we need to become immune to everything before we can become enlightened- even Jesus claimed to lose his faith somewhat on the cross (his father had forsaken him, odd considered he already volunteered and knew the ending at the time).

So this week has gone to plan so far with one bonus, the first old road sign I knew for 40 years without taking its photo appeared in the distance on one of my negatives I was scanning in case there were more without prints (how does that happen?). The symbol is obvious but blurred but no writing is visible and the enlargement makes it look like it was taken underwater, but I now have a record of it, just. Otherwise I did my first tour video for ages after many requests yesterday, and cut the bushes at my late grandma's before it looked too overgrown. The news continues to be the same mixture of white noise I totally ignore, plus the odd peak or trough of either utter bilge like the next royal wedding- when they care about what I do I'll care about them- or the odd good news like the Republican climate enquiry. But most of life is my own and not affected by others unless they make laws which do directly such as raising energy taxes. It's the old exam results scenario, what my friends get doesn't affect my own performance, so if I fail one it doesn't make me feel any better that someone else has. What crap and shit happens elsewhere really isn't my concern, all these kidnaps and murders from down the road to across the planet are part of life since the stone age, and are sadly no more news than how many sheets of toilet paper my grandma used, yet we got to hear both.

I hope I am in a transitional period though, as I am seeing a mix of the old disasters and doom and new guidance towards success. Maybe I can deal with some old loose ends but still profit from the new direction while I am doing so. It certainly looks like that but the bad stuff feels just as bad as it ever did regardless. I feel I was guided to the negatives last night, I'd been checking up where all my photos without captions were taken with the advent of Streetview, and then thought I'd check the final set of ones that may turn up from unprinted negatives, and chose the right pack almost immediately. As it was on the corner of my road I would have expected a photo of it randomly but till then it wasn't showing. If it's dry tomorrow (it has been for three days and now stopped again) I'll either do my bike trip or the other video, and so far not missed seeing anyone besides the builder working next door who just repaired my garage door for nothing. I still phone the radio every week or so as I did tonight, I'm not famous yet as you can't see my face on radio and the best I do is when I see people I haven't seen for a while and they say they heard me. I even tweeted a new arrival on twitter who listens and lives nearby in case I can make a new friend somehow.

I've done another sweep on Friends Reunited, and thank goodness new people are still joining. I sent three more messages and normally get about a third back although not all have a clue who I am. One was in nursery school with me, and as I was so bored at home my parents let me go just before I was three and I remember as much there as I do in primary. Imagine catching up with someone you haven't seen since you were both five! There was no actual crumpet involved this time, one was simply an enquiry, one an ex who is now miles away and the third a friend of a friend whose very nice sister got a boyfriend before I could get a chance to try myself. I shouldn't be surprised many don't remember me although a few years in the same class pushes my credibility a bit. Even when one saw a photo of us there he claimed not to remember me. What a wanker.

Anyway, I am one step closer to celebrity this year than last now being published, and two more articles in the system hope that momentum keeps going. I write for pleasure so the more they want the more I will provide. I also keep my list of ambitions and although some do get reached none yet really affect my life besides completing a particular mission, step or business deal. It takes away a problem or stops it getting worse but none yet have actually made it better. That needs people first, and it's no use to just see anyone who's available rather than wait for quality as being with the wrong people is worse than none as they drain you. To have close friends you have to share the same frequency with someone, that is natural and can't be created just because someone's there. The right ones are rare indeed and hung onto for decades before one by one they are diverted by life or distance to occasional meetings. None are cut off but severely restricted compared to the old days. The woman on twitter hasn't replied, I don't blame her as unlike us women get random offers and approaches every day and can easily pick and choose. Anyway, I keep going, catch the odd bullet but am still here.

It should be guided

I will take three alternative scenarios today. That which says there are no coincidences and everything happens exactly as it's designed to, including what we think are our own decisions, the middle new age ground that says we are given opportunities by design but down to our free will what we do about them, implying personal growth is totally down to us, and the third control scenario of science which says there's no meaning in anything and it's all random.

I'll just look at the first for now, that everything including our decisions is planned. That means today everything that happened including my tiredness which led to the very limited usage of the time was totally unavoidable. If that's the case there is a goal and the only way to reach it is for everything to happen exactly the way it does, like a good film with no loose ends. Every event large and small contributes and has a significance, and without a single one happening the final result may not be guaranteed. In my case I seem to be being torn apart, with every fear I've ever had and a few I didn't know about being presented to me as a reality, and although I'm still hear to tell the tale my own being currently has been reduced to almost constant hypervigilance. For those not familiar with PTSD that means you expect the worst in every area relating to your past experience and then have to relearn how to get each area one by one back into normal proportion. The end result if successful would be a virtual immunity to everything as there'd be nothing left to fear, as all your fears had become real and then put away or better still thrown away. That's the theory anyway and then it means I'm clear for future success without suddenly finding a panic attack wrecks whatever gifts I'd been given before being prepared to cope with it all.

So today was day two of my total freedom this week, I was still relatively tired after the builders woke me up again yesterday so in the end with no other ideas went to the shops and came back. That is it. To the random view that was a wasted day, but the planned view means it's a vital route to a final ending. The clues are there to stop a total despair, and my latest career step of having a published article tells me I must be doing something right. There's only one thing wrong with my life now, and that's having to live alone. Women come and go randomly whatever I do or don't do, I've been chasing them since nursery school (I always knew what they were for unlike some men even at my age), maybe it was some sort of instinct or genetic memory. I haven't been rejected by a woman recently as I haven't tried any. I've had offers though and so far turned them all down besides the bedroom ones. Anything else has been from women without all three requirements and am too old and tired to spend my time and effort with one eye looking for someone new. I never did really but in the past normally waited till they qualified or dumped them and waited for someone better when they turned out not to. Back when there were still single women my age that is.

The lack of free will has been mentioned before but for the three of you here who probably haven't seen it I have found even when I've made apparent mistakes they've got me somewhere I'd have missed otherwise. Not just once, take a wrong turning or get stopped at a red light and you see something you'd never have otherwise. Something points me everywhere so presumably decides when I meditate and who I find to watch online for more satsang. I have now reached the stage where whenever I look I am totally aware I am not here. To advaita students that means a step up, but only one to actually having it without having to look and keeping it all the time. But it's no longer a theory, I do experience it, and am aware of it as a reality. Technically I don't experience it actually, as it's a realisation there is no I to experience, only what is happening in that awareness, I is a thought that has been picked up some time after birth.

What the heck is it all leading to though I wonder? The mundaneness of the everyday life at the moment, article or not, is just as it was, as I'm only aware of the higher stuff when it happens and then return to before. Not even a slight colouring of the clear water with the new pigment of energy, but a total return to the ordinary. I think that only starts to happen at the next stage, one which is a lot closer to the final event should it ever occur. It is a series of initiations, starting with my bar mitzvah, then my degree, diploma, and various lesser ones. Each is harder to control or see happening, so can't just take the course, do the exams and pass or fail, but have aims and less and less ideas how to carry them out. Meditation is like insomnia, you can't sleep at will with insomnia, you lie down and sleep or not by grace. As you don't need results from meditation to survive that is even less likely to produce results, or control the few you do get. But you know without it you'll have none at all and there's no other route there besides it happening on its own.

I've been told I've given up, but then again giving up is the final step before enlightenment. I've simply realised there wasn't anything I could actually do, and probably never was besides what was obvious.

Guidance and bugger all else

I think Firefox will probably get the fonts working here, it's always IE's fault when features are disabled. Not now though. Two halves today, real life (oh dear) and higher stuff. Although I'm close to my publication day it doesn't make anything different at the sharp end, and although I've done plenty this week I ran out by today. There's a pile of very hard maths I can't do on the global warming work, which is how they've managed to catch people for so long. The raw data has in fact been hidden in many cases simply as the variation between that and the hockey sticks they turn out like dogs squatting in the park would have them all locked up for fraud.
I have no other plans, a doctor's appointment at last next week (no quick appointments now the law's changed) and that's it. It gets boring so I get bored, not exactly complicated.

On the other side I did think that since I've been getting all sorts of information in my dreams- names, places and music then someone had to know what I was interested in, know where it was and have the ability to send it to me when I wasn't distracted by my senses. I've reached the point where I'm certain it's real, and now also operating in my waking life by pointing me to certain things in incredibly complex ways where I'd never have got them otherwise if one link of the chain was broken. Of course they are both aspects of the same intelligence, and it's amazing that despite discovering such a source exists the rest of life is identical in between these little episodes. I did expect that if I discovered any sort of higher power it would improve my life instantly but all I now have is knowledge of a random power that chooses when to drop in and help and then buggers off till the next time. None yet in my power to call or direct, and means it doesn't have to return (although now more frequent in my real life) while the dreams were probably just evidence for me to know it was there with absolutely no practical benefit otherwise.

The latest attack of the strange and inadequate women (two who both want to marry me) has only made me look for someone different from either of them as they represent what I don't want rather than what I do. That didn't seem guided, just part of an energy phase which was the original way this intelligence showed itself, specific random things happening all at the same time. So now the next stage is to find where this guidance is coming from, see if I can send messages as well as receive, and work it to my choice more than just demonstrating its power. It's a waste of time guessing as it is no more chance of one guess than any other, maybe if they're listening now they'll answer some of my questions. It is interesting but life still seems stubbornly exactly as it was before although now expect it to work differently. But although it has provided a few nice things it's like christmas, once you've got used to the new presents life returns to how it was before. You need something fundamental to change otherwise, and although I thought discovery of a higher power (not God) would do it so far it's business as usual more or less. It seems to have got a bit stuck for now.

My guardian angel

So who thinks we have a guardian angel? And who would like one? And if we do then how do we still manage to get in so much trouble? Good question.
Anyway, I often find that if I have a subject (and often when I don't) I start writing about something and the information just comes to me. I've barely ever paused on any of my writing since I no longer needed it to be marked, and rarely had to edit anything for publication or had it edited (although the bad ones grammar wise do need eviscerating by me first but can usually spot them before they get sent away). Conversations with God is written that way, half anyhow (that's the God bit), as many others claim. It's God's own job to justify some statements when apparently written for me, and just have to be patient and hope the proof comes out somewhere else later, although I'm usually quite confident it's correct regardless.

Maybe we have to show we can look after ourselves before it starts happening? Tough love? I certainly only started getting it after 49 years where I did it all myself and have the damage to prove it. I didn't screw up everything, did well on many, but like any other set of tasks got some so badly wrong it caused major problems. All I have is what I have now, aren't too bad considering but the anxiety is way beyond what it should be based on all sorts of similar events in the past. My lower brain is reacting before the thinking part and only tablets and miracles can retrain it or bypass it in the slightest. I'd like the angel to work on this next as it can spoil more or less anything and probably totally a waste of time to have it at all.

Otherwise I'm just getting on with it, a couple of women are around (just like waiting for buses, always has been), neither adequate to requirements but unless others (one will be nice) arrive will have to do. It's stopped me wasting time or being lost this week anyway and better than being on my own within reason. Maybe the criticisms I've been getting recently were so I could realise not to judge myself whatever others were doing, as it ought to make me realise I'm not doing anything wrong by disagreeing with them rather than bending to their judgement as most people do. That helps no one in the end as if you make them feel they're wrong and it's their fault (even if it is) they only take it as insults and teaches them nothing. You have to present any help or advice in a caring way or it's just more rudeness and we instantly turn off when that's offered. Goodness knows if any of the unconverted have been changed by what I write on anything, but if I don't then I'll never stand a chance. And rarely if ever learn the fruits of my labours but that's not part of the formula.

Empty space isn't good enough

I shouldn't be surprised, but after clearing all the shit out of the way last month I was just left with no shit but no sugar either. Just no. So despite no anxiety over upcoming events I only have what I have, empty freedom. I hoped to feel better simply having a clear life but it really isn't enough on its own, just a good place to start building from. I know exactly what I'm missing and besides just blitzing social events with strangers hoping I'll hook up with some eventually I can't really do anything practical to fix it.

I did work quite a bit last week so not so guilty there's none this week, but still been doing some business on the phone which is just as important. Otherwise it's been checking up on my late grandma's house and shopping. So thank goodness nothing's wrong, but I'm not apparently getting anywhere otherwise besides completing my old sign collection after 2 1/2 years. I still look but doesn't matter now. I have absolutely no plans either, tomorrow I haven't even thought about and will see when it arrives, let alone beyond. Having my first article published will certainly help, covering another ambition but that's ahead yet. My research of all sorts happens whether I'm looking or not, new information turns up sooner or later but unless it affects me directly all seems to be fairly irrelevant otherwise.

So the half a week has been doing whatever I can think of and although I definitely needed a rest would like a little direction or hope as well. I did see a small guidance today when I discovered something I needed to know due to a last minute invitation or I'd probably never have seen it. That was just the little sign I needed to tell me all was on track- it has been ever since it started over a year ago and the short time I thought it had slipped off it showed me it hadn't in the same type of way it had the first. Whatever or whoever directs this film is pretty impressive when awakened, but the gaps between miracles still give the impression maybe nothing's different, although it has to be. It is odd how even when you've found things are more than they seem they are still exactly the same when that element is dormant. Of course I'm not in control of these miracles and may never be, so it's like having a woman and losing them, whatever you know was possible doesn't mean it lasts or may even return in different forms. Except here it's a force outside the known, talked about since the beginning of history but until it's happened to you would seem a fairy story.

So I am trying to contact the source of these miracles now. I've read the whole series of Conversations with God and plenty of the Celestine Prophecy and they tell me this is the next stage of our evolution, and those experiencing it now are the advance guard while only available to adepts till now. But I am slowly running out of time, you don't want a situation like retiring at 65 and not being fit enough to enjoy it. I believe I can't do any more to increase this power (especially as it found me, I didn't make it happen at all) and besides meditating more often I've got few other tricks that could do so from my side. But I can't deny it's there, and presumably all the time as it can tweak things at any time and can't do that popping in now and again as needs to know the whole picture. And it really isn't cheating to call up miracles, it's our heritage which very few have realised in practice. Does a cake taste any worse you made or bought? Calling up any other event is no different from making a cake, you just decide to make a woman or anything else you need and instead of having no direct way of getting them (there are the two lists, those like cakes we can more or less have at will and the others) just do it the same way. I think that's worked that one out right as I wrote it.

So I'd like to have a full communication with this force and then use it to get the things I want which don't come directly in the physical world like cake to all come the same way. Like decorating your house, you choose a vision and create it. I just aim to include as much as possible within that vision as I can see it's possible to happen, and ultimately become part of that force knowingly, as it can't really be from the outside, it's everywhere and everything. The reading has started to become the experience, but only just so far.

The story so far...

I can't go out as I'm waiting for a washing machine to be delivered, hot and sunny and a job to do but not yet. So with Brazil playing Portugal (I think both have qualified so probably not worth watching) I return here.

My global warming campaign is reaching a conclusion. I've been given a simple mission, to find the figures to bust apart the CO2 equation. Not being a scientist, even though to most intelligent people it's painfully obvious a small increase in a trace gas with a low warming potential can't be measured in its effects, but I'm not a scientist with the numbers to show it, and am asking them one by one until I can get one to help.

I am hopefully now able to look at the world in a totally different way. If there's an intelligence guiding everything then we really don't have a lot of say in what happens as when it chooses to provide then it does it with no work at all from us. And apparently when it chooses not to then we are wasting our time trying to change it. Ideally we'd choose what we want and then let the system provide it for us but that's what we all want. But the minimum now would be able to communicate with that power and bring in more information to make things I do easier.

For instance. I don't want to see the global warmists win. Our lives would be in poverty, all energy would be rationed and we'd have a rich elite and poor masses just like Cuba or Soviet Russia. And worst of all the liars would have won. Might is Right is fine for Goebbels but we don't want a repeat of Nazi Germany worldwide this time do we?
I've now had two dreams of the red triangle signs. So far every dream of a sign has soon been followed by the real one, so there's no reason why this should be any different. It was the first sign I was aware of as on the same block where I lived and still there until around 2005. I have three so far, but one is damaged, another is a text only rather than a picture as well and the third is a modern replica. I still need a complete graphic one like the one near me, and thank goodness I have an identical one as well but without a triangle, but got the main part I needed.
Someone did just find one in the worst part of London to get to, but was removed last year. I don't know if that was good or bad, plus there are three direction signs on the same road, but too late to care now. I've been Streetviewing for it constantly with no result, but the last one I got was found by someone else and I'd already looked along that road but was covered by a tree. Again, it came to me rather than me doing the work. Patience needed apparently.

So today is apparently guided to keep me at home till the last minute, whether there's a reason or not I won't know till later, but a good way to show me another example. The system can't have it both ways once it's revealed itself.

Giudance. The next level

Having seen a complete equation which would appear to tell me that unless something can happen the same naturally there has to be connection between everything, and it's able to work for a specific cause. I have seen this so far solely in relation to old road signs I collect. Very appropriate to use signs as signs and very easy to notice.
Now I've seen it work not once but for a year, then regardless of the fact my life and inner self seem no different, my knowledge, as described after I saw it happen to me in the Celestine Prophecy, has been changed and would be pretty hard to undo what I know as it's already happened. So having had a project working on my behalf and when I lost my faith had it brought back by giving me the exact item I thought I'd lost (I hadn't- it wasn't actually there), with another series of events even more complex and dependent on each other that the original scenario it is now safe to suggest the next step. If this is working and in an intelligent way, then regardless of where I am now (where I've been for ages but with many more photos of signs basically) it really could send me to each of my other chosen destinations as it has already with that.

Therefore although I can creep my media career forward with the small stuff- short appearances on fringe TV, articles in professional journals and now photos in a book, possibly to be in a newspaper, I have a list of similar ambitions to the sign collection that are either in their very earliest stages or nowhere at all.

These would be:

Not living alone
Having a girlfriend/wife
Being on terrestrial TV
Having a book published
Being in a national paper
Working on the site I used to (nb getting something back you've lost is one of the hardest of all, more than anything for the first time)
Seeing the scientists finally admit one by one that everything they said about global warming originally is now being overtaken by new facts and it's no longer an issue
Seeing at least one of my old friends again
Having my other friends back from abroad and in London
Getting the truth on alien life
and probably many more that aren't so obvious to think of.

Firstly the only control I've had over this was using the methods in The Secret to help finding one of the signs, but that was before the guidance started clearly. But when it did and since I've had absolutely no control over it. These things turn up when I need them or where they fit into my search. So I can't actually ask for any of the guidance or where I want it to go. I'm putting it here to partly organise my thoughts and partly share the self evident fact that if you accept I may have the guidance in my life then it's part of your life as well. Either our lives are guided or not. When it starts is another thing, but just knowing there's the potential may start it off.
I am also aware my own anxieties are getting in the way but I'm only human and hard to remove existing memories they are based on. Avoiding the past repeating itself is a pretty strong driver even when you work too hard at it. But the bottom line is I want a happy ending. However it happens I've suffered too many of my 50 years, and why should I use up even more the same way? If it hadn't been guided it would be up and down at random, like the weather, but it clearly isn't. Plus sharing it here may remind others when it happened to them and they dismissed it. When it happens properly you sit back and watch, as if it could only have been written as a story. Life wasn't supposed to fit together perfectly was it?

So, I have lost my faith and regained it, and can't restrict a phenomenon to a single area where it can clearly cover them all. I had no say in it coming and what it covered, but can only ask and hope it now covers the next area. I may be able to look for another house later in the year. Unlikely it'll be my first choice but may be my second. I will probably also need a tenant to pay for it, so won't be alone either although that is not the way you ought to fix it. I'm well past expecting to control the woman situation, that stopped at 25 when all the good ones got taken when I was at college doing exams. My media career has to do more than a few photos somewhere where no one knows I did it unless they search the small print. I now need the jump that will get me seen, however it comes. I don't really need to question my writing. It's been used in various places and accepted as professional where required. Here I have fun and mess around but if given a subject know what to do with it.
The next request is not just to direct this guidance more widely but without delay. I should be ready for many improvements- naturally the woman would have to accept my phobias but if you want a person then where you go with them shouldn't put you off as if they'd been a criminal. Even if I got on TV or the papers and was asked to travel around for work I'm not obliged to accept it. It's not for the money and once you've got far enough to reach that point you've got your name on the list already and free to pick and choose. Like with the women, if they really want you then they can come to you to do an interview or do the work locally if possible.

So maybe if I cover all the possible banana skins in advance (I'll have to make a list now) the powers will decide I'm ready and give me each as I am. This is the level of adept, one I have read much about and clearly not a fairy tale. My parallel is the positions of the Indian guru, they either travel or have an ashram. If they have an ashram they are still a guru with the same ability, but you go to him. Who's ever slagged off Sai Baba for not travelling to Wembley? So the precedents for that have been set, and many radio presenters have their studios at home so why not me? I can work round it I'm sure and also now I've done my first outside job for ages I know I'm able to work in a small circle for a short time at least. I do try and come half way wherever possible.

So this is the second level in front of me. I have no idea if it'll materialise but am writing this maybe as part of it, as the guidance has affected me as much as any other director. Making a wrong turn or being caught at traffic lights has also led me to signs I'd never have found otherwise.

It's still working

To begin with the system is definitely still working- I had a repeat sign to take in deepest Surrey on Sunday but because the League Cup was finally on real TV after 20 years I could watch my team play (and win) so dealyed the trip till today. Half way through the match I was looking at my old sign group online and someone had found two in Balham, where I'd go on a Sunday to avoid the traffic and get free parking. That didn't need sunlight to take the scenery (the trip to Balham doesn't have much) so watched the game and got two pretty rare signs, although instead of to places they aimed at buildings, but on the proper format. Three for the price of one and they weren't repeats.

I am free now, two probably bits of work this week but not yet 100%. It'll be weeks before I know about the photo going in the paper now so can forget that for a while, not worried about signs or photos as sorted that for now, so freedom and few obligations. Last week was a rest week, rain 4/5 days and just did whatever was available indoors and a couple of trips out to parks when the constant rain turned to showers. I'll just carry on and go with the flow now. It was bloody tiring driving through road works through some of the worst roads in London yesterday, and through traffic jams on winding Surrey roads full of people coming home from school today with more traffic lights than closer to London with each having to change a good few times before people could get through. Driving didn't used to tire me out- I did 10 hours a day in my early 20s but besides having a smaller car than I did for years which doesn't do all the work for me (it's called trying to save money) you really feel everything at 50, well I certainly do.

It'll be interesting to see what happens, technically a near repeat of last week is the likeliest, no chance of an early newspaper answer and just Streetview to possibly turn up more signs, although yesterday's came from someone online and one I'd even looked on the road there but was too small and well camouflaged I didn't see it anyway. Adding to the collections are good, but don't give you anything to do after adding them besides look at for a few minutes. It fills some boxes in life but the others are related to people. What are they again?

Progress report 2/2010

My next hope is if my life truly has become guided to extend that from finding road signs to all aspects. It's either there or not, and if is then either me or an outside intelligent universe. I would say from teachings it's more likely to be me, as a sign of all the spiritual development and somehow a matter of learning how to control chaos.

The current system is only really whether my photo will make a newspaper, no one would notice it or lead to any more work but at least will have done it. So far in the freedom (although am working tomorrow but really need the money) I've done another video and otherwise been stuck indoors in the rain. I have found another sign on yesterday's marathon Streetview (it's finally added a few more roads) although a repeat it has paint on where the one I have hasn't, so worth a visit.
Of course one aspect of enlightenment is although one realisation is there's no one else here but you, you don't feel alone but connected. That's a typical paradox of it you'll never get until it happens, but just seeing some sort of organisation in what ought to be chaos, and then seeing it seems to be actually working in my favour is half way there and I'd say the second level of enlightenment, as the first is the synchronicities, now they are for some sort of purpose as well. Then choosing them would be the third. In the end you've got it all and detach from it but like any route may not get the whole way in one lifetime.

Another thing that can happen writing this, just as it does in any situation when you talk about your life, is you work things out. Just by putting it all out there you see it clearly in one place and things can fall into place. If nothing else my collections and CV will continue to increase, although none have yet to actually affect my life in any other way (besides eliminating signs I need to look for). I think so far I've had one client because they saw me on TV and that's probably it. But there are foundations, and some most other people don't have, so I have to keep busy and hope whatever I've started keeps going while I'm getting on with other things.

The guidance continues

I can actually say whatever guidance began last year it's still going. There was what appeared to be a gap, but turned out to be a loop when what it promised did indeed turn up some time later. My interpretation of guidance is where something would have been impossible without a series of totally unconnected events. So the latest was someone did dowsing for me over a map (I do it in my mind and got two areas correctly as well), found a sign in the middle of nowhere, I Googled it, saw the exact sign I thought I saw on Streetview was there, went last week and got it but was a museum exhibit and not official. I put it online and someone who knew I was a collector must have been reminded he had one from 1992 which was in easy reach, but as on a private road no need to remove it. And yesterday I went and saw it as soon as I reached the junction. That is one of the rarest in the country and in perfect condition.

I very much doubt if I hadn't found the first (one photo from the back online only as well, not a single other reference to it anywhere), and without that photo having been taken as it was a museum entrance, they didn't even notice there was a sign in it, I wouldn't have known where in the village it was and wouldn't have gone the 30 or so miles otherwise.
So everything else in my life needs to be joined in it now. My media career crept forward now with the inclusion in the book and photo shoot, and now waiting to hear if it made the paper. I'm pretty certain whatever machine is behind this it's working now, but still need to use the time I have in between usefully. The traditional belief you don't get anything for nothing makes people assume unless you almost kill yourself you'll achieve nothing. In fact it's about knowledge and timing, and the least effort of all is involved unless exams are involved. If that was the criteria I did my effort already and done plenty since- moving house clearing 28 years of family junk on my own (my parents had split up and gone their separate ways by then) in less than a month. I was ill for months after that and only fixed by healing and 36 hours of sleep over three nights. The doctors were at their wits end and I recovered just before I would have been sent for outpatient tests.

I also worked in about four different places, commuting between two or more a day for four years before finding something where I only needed a couple of separate places to work a week. When the school holidays came and there was no teaching I drove a furniture van, delivering and setting up film sets. The fascinating part was being in the location or studio with the director putting everything where they asked, and then sometimes seeing the work you did on TV. Birdseye Potato Waffles I think was our biggest viewing job. Whichever way you look at it I paid my way, and also did the weekly trip to see a video lecture for my meditation course plus a number of extras for 16 months. Being claustrophobic and having to sit quietly in a hall with maybe 100 people crammed in and not miss a week until the master arrived was no joke. He comes once a year and unless you go abroad after 5 months plus and see him yourself you wait till he gets here. At least he didn't come up north when it was my turn, I drove a very easy 50 miles to Brighton which is a holiday resort I know well, and not Birmingham (120 miles) or Manchester (220) which some poor sods had to do a few years later.

So even if you say we need to earn our success I think I have. The media side was begun with amateur theatre at 12, drama classes from 14-19 and cabaret from 16 onwards. My exams had to come first but always kept it up whenever I could. Lack of a union card meant I had to take a side door to TV work via academia, but all the doors reach the same place. So although I'm not an adept yet, where they actually dictate the direction of the guidance, I did swing two very unlikely situations using said methods although science tells me I need many more before I can say I may be responsible. A teacher last week via Facebook said it's all a dream so being an adept simply acknowledges our role as creator and we simply say what we want and it starts becoming real, as it's all ours anyway. And he told every listener to share it so I am, and I am (as in the bible), is his key to success. Out loud say what you want to be a few times, then in your head, and just keep going on one subject and see what happens. Not tried and tested as my recommendations usually are, but just passing his message on.
And even if you dismiss the unknown it's still there, I think anyone seeing the complex linkages which led to me finding the signs I have already and say it's all normal is just pretending science can allow such connections. No way it can.

Blockage removed

Well bugger me, a day later or less after the last entry, where everything had been blocked since the reverse event to the road sign/general guidance of my life arrived, it came back! I'd started switching from my old road photos which were all scanned in to the houses and had a few to pin down the locations. I was looking on all the little roads around Stanmore when I saw an old sign I'd never come across before, not the familiar 'danger children' (to anyone over 50 anyway, they died out by the time I was about 5) but 'beware children'. Following rule 1 of the spotter's list, I checked all surrounding roads and bingo, a related 'caution children at play' was round the corner, which is a current sign usually on lawns near roads as all these were. Thank goodness the next day I found them both intact (the images are well over a year old now) plus a spare one on the next block without lichen on it but bent instead. The other was perfect but a layer of green as many do if they face the direction scouts use to navigate. And I had to do some work at what's now half my house which was half way there already before I could go and look.

So my faith is at least temporarily restored. It's been about a month since the weekend where I found a direction sign so close I must have passed it while waiting to see a much further warning sign which was absent when reached. Then all stopped, I lost my faith (although can't lose the awareness things could be guided), and saw life just as it had been before, usual synchronicities and psychic information but just randomly with no direction. Since then I've been taking and scanning more photos of houses with more to come I've found online, and doing bits of housework. I can relax for a while (while continuing to Streetview till complete) although I think besides the very common no through roads these were the first information signs I've found since Streetview arrived 10 months ago. Unlike directions which are nearly all at junctions of important roads information signs are literally anywhere. Bearing in mind I've only found maybe 20 in the whole of London then you can see how unlikely you are to fall over one by chance, and the red triangle in Barnet was covered by a tree on Google so couldn't even see it when I looked.

So not one but three (two new to me and one repeat of it) signs have allowed me off the hook for some time, all are welcome but not so desperate now. There are some very nice houses I've just found near me I'll do during the week so one more trip covered, and no more worked out beyond or before but just let things take care of themselves. Of course my (very big) birthday follows on Friday (no comment) and people coming the day after, and although it's only a small patch do still have some hair left on top for the next decade which was always in question. I'm also doubling my chest weights and exercises as 7 years on my arms and legs are huge and my chest barely different. The weights themselves are up to my own body weight now, but either way have now started focussing and can do 6 sets of pushups (65 kilos at the moment) rather than the usual 3. I also take all the weights down as low as possible since someone picked me up on that. I weigh about 74 kilos (11st-10) and can lift 80 just to prove I can, but only a few. I'm not really bothered about the coming landmark, the quality of life is far more important and coped with the previous ones already. And women may change with age but plenty of good ones regardless. So no special 'old age' plans (yes, Saga will accept me and we know who they cater for...) but just keep the same ambitions going and hope first the book comes out with my photos in as planned for next month and the others follow. And I can only make the starts but never affect the outcomes directly. Only exams can follow those sort of routes.

Progress, what progress?

Boy it's gone quiet- I did have some work today so not a total wipeout, but other plans have ended in nothing so far, and spending ages on forums presenting data on global warming most prefer to avoid. I clearly have a job to do as each believer gets sucked in, chewed up and hopefully spat out. The trickery involved make the mafia look like rank amateurs.
The snow has been replaced by two solid days of rain, I found another sign obscured by a tree online not far away, and found what I suspected, a pair of urban clearway signs on a suburban road in Surrey. No idea how they were put there, not old but just odd.

After work I've been clearing the house ready for tomorrow's visitors, I didn't go out for food due to the lousy weather and hope tomorrow's better, as I've got to cater for everyone regardless. I would be out for a walk now if it was dry but can't plan everything. I did also phone the very much ex from the middle of nowhere only to find she'd moved house and had her mobile switched off. I'll have another go though, I want to know why she's dropped me after over 30 years backwards and forwards when she was married and abroad among other things. That is a loose end that has to be tied. I also have to go to the neighhbour's bank tomorrow while probably pissing it down, and pay to park there. I was given yet another mission as well (one favour usually leads to many more) but haven't received my instructions yet so may not be able to till after the next holidays. Unless it arrives in time.

I'm still waiting for anything decent to happen for a while now, little things have turned up on and off but the momentum has swung the wrong way for a bit with lots of little things going wrong. Again it's an energy stream and can see how just like when a woman goes off you when you show yourself up, life has gone off me for a while and whatever I do besides work seems to have turned nasty. All outside my control, illustrating that if you don't work on yourself the world continues to go up and down eternally. Except mine isn't going up and down but switching to all and then nothing for weeks or more. That is the same proportions but not the same randomness, so still guided even when through series of field pancakes. I'm surviving so far but seriously stressed at the moment. Even the simple exercise of going for a walk can't be done (unless the rain stops before bedtime after 48 hours or so, some chance), so I'll keep tidying, watch more of my old videos (I'm still trying to find a part I did in Essex that has to be there somewhere) and any more will come from outside.
The stress is apparently (we have to look for the reasons) there to train me to protect myself from it, but stress is stress and hundreds of times worse with no one to help.

So I can only hope for better, it has been better and the ghosts of earlier times have returned just like the bad weather, dropping their feculence (look it up) over me and coming back for another go. I suppose everything has a polarity in duality (they are the same thing really, one is the general to the particulars) so energy can be as much the dark forces as the light. I need to find ways to clear these away as even when they appear to be going they still hang around and empty the remainder of their intestines on me before hopefully finally moving on. I still see energy systems at work around me, and have to learn to direct them or else I get the lot.

A bit of a mystery

Forthcoming events have always cast a cloud over my life unless something else is distracting me, and if my mind wonders I'll be worrying about Tuesday until it's over. My nature and outside my control. Otherwise it's been very quiet, the work was cancelled on Saturday and pissing with rain so got my paperwork done and then fiddled about till I went to the gym. No plans either so like every other event and plan before half is my work and half is from outside. The guidance must now deal with what causes the stress and somehow make me immune from more and more or any potential problem will get me every time.

Other than that little is happening in the present, and being December can quickly look back and say I've done more ths year than about the last three. Collecting old road signs has got me in a 30 mile circle I hadn't explored for some years. The new car also makes it easier although the radio gave out and just hope it's under guarantee as has to go back on Tuesday. Better than the car packing up anyway. I do need some more inspiration, I've completed a major mission but life has to follow and be used.
Tomorrow is a blank slate altogether, as is most of the week really. That's the rest of the mystery but once the 'date' (it's not as she's really showing no interest in more than my car and where it can take her) is over I shouldn't really care.

So the guidance is being tested now to see whether it can also drag me from the depths as well as point me to the highs. If you fall then Buddha was right that all the good and bad cancel out and you must stop being affected by both. If anyone can truly claim that I'd be very surprised but part of the teaching. I'll go for any percentage improvement, 100% being a miracle.
If anyone knows where the link is for 'add instant blog reactions' let me know, it comes up every now and then but never when I need to activate it. Not very good marketing.

I've done it!

The more time passes, despite what appear to be gaps, the guidance continues, and I seem to almost feel when something is close as well, besides having predictive dreams. From a wild goose chase to a misidentified sign on Saturday I made two trips to mop up the private signs around Regents Park, having already done the ones actually in it I discovered they were in the surrounding roads as well as I checked when I knew I'd be there last weekend. After then bumping into my mum's incredibly sexy neighbour for the third time while shopping I carried a couple of stone of bags home, and was absolutely knackered.
Then I looked in my messages and had a link for a sign someone had found half an hour from me, and it was actually a genuine one with the red triangle on top.

I have one, also in London, but with an edge missing, this had no picture (many text only panels had them as well) but had been fully restored and looked like new. There you go, it can happen sometimes. And just for those with a little knowledge of these phenomena, I'd done some dowsing on a map drawn on a piece of paper in case that could focus me to where the sign could be, as I was trained with cards and other items, and wrote a few names, and just one in large capitals, for no reason other than it seemed to come to me, "BARNET". I'd totally forgotten this as it was a few weeks ago, and looked back a few pages in the notebook and there it was, exactly where it was in reality. What trick will I pull next I wonder? Another one, and maybe a woman as well?

Work tomorrow (1 session anyway) and then a normal weekend, but one less thing to search or hope for. I actually checked the same road on Streetview already but had a tree covering the sign which has been cut down now, and couldn't see it. Meanwhile I'm just keeping busy, doing my shopping (christmas cards today), and getting jobs done in the house. Then the ridiculous Copenhagen summit next week, the greatest organised crime in the history of the world, and I suspect the wind's been taken out of their sails. Any honest and intelligent person can't now accept any of the guff we've been fed since Michael Mann invented the theory based on a false computer model, and with Al Gore managed to convince half the world to tax their citizens and drive them back to the stone age 'because they said so'.

Global warming has operated as an intelligence test for the world, and many people failed but more have passed, given the general opinion of the ordinary guys who call the radio with no axe to grind and most respectable journalists who get paid to disagree with the establishment if they do, not sacked. And my final point, to answer a typical twat on the radio, is that no one has to be a scientist to have an opinion, that is what a jury does, and the IPCC. They rely on scientists to make their own minds up and once the scientists drop the BS and start telling the truth there won't even be a case left to hear.

No idea

A week has passed without an entry, and hardly surprised as nothing at all has happened since a week ago. And no particular reason it should any time this week or year for that matter. Besides raining most of the week I've just made a few videos, including one of The Bill when I drove into their location set today and had the still camera with me which does short videos as well.
Besides finding an old sign I found outside a block of flats was indeed an official type however rare there hasn't been anything else in the way of news either. I dread to think what I was like in the 70s considering how many people I find I last saw then ignore my messages. There aren't many left to find now and only actually met two since I started looking.

The next trip is the private signs around Regents Park as only had a few till now, nothing special but in the old style with totally different designs. I have sent off another article, based around a specific incident in my own life that showed me how easily most people become Napoleon when given a little power. That showed me the rules on how to exercise power and naturally an article followed. But if everything's still guided last week did give me a nice rest and each previous week hadn't had any plans but was sorted out each day when they came. Days on end with no human contact have their effect but that would be the same for most people. Until I can find someone I can see regularly who's actually worth it that's not going to change.

So although there is a small system the couple of possibilities are weeks or more ahead and can't think of any in advance as I've done my bit were required and now have to forget about them all. Besides shit and unnecssary jobs like the dentist (why go every 6 months as they say so?) I've got all the rest out of the way. I've got my therapy forms to fill in tomorrow which is not much but has to be done. But today I was told about one nearby house to take and found a decent railway bridge with low wall with amazing views next to it, and then saw them filming The Bill on the way back. So that's how a blank day can work out with absolutely no input from yourself. So that was guided, and that needs to carry on somehow.

A little improvement

It has been a strange week, even for me. Besides one booking I've been free and for some reason I was given the thought all my problems should be over very soon. Having watched teachings on such things and had accurate messages on lesser things then I took this fairly seriously, and may pick up things around me if important enough. So I thought of the sort of things that would do this, most are possible but none likely, and then thought which ones would be enough to have a lasting effect rather than like charging a battery for a short time. Normally if nothing happened I'd have forgotten about it, but as this seemed like the sort of dreams which stand out as special I'm not letting this one go.

In reality I've used the time well, I took some very nice views of Harrow on the Hill, done plenty of shopping and took a video in Finchley after more clearing of ex-grandma's house. It's all gone quite smoothly, more than usual in fact, although nothing itself has happened. I did however enlarge a photo where I thought I'd seen the old roundabout sign last year and saw the apparent pole was a space in the trees, implying I'd got the location wrong as there are a number of photos nearby online and would be amazed if a sign was there and none had caught it. That leaves the possibility it was somewhere else. Before Streetview I drove every road looking, and covered each dual carriageway with a roundabout where I may have been. Nothing. But the fact it was there pre-1963 it could still be there a year after I saw it, but have a total mental block if not Tolworth. So I've been researching and asked many people in the area online by email in case they know it, it's not like my one on a suburban block, but on a 6 lane major road. I will see.


Being on winter time now my days are different, and as it got dark soon after working didn't need to go out, and after wasting the rest of the day trying to find a TV series online I missed when last repeated have now run out of material. I've concluded my search for other signs as covered the whole lot of likely places and many unlikely, only a red triangle would complete the set if it comes. The further out ones can stay there and wouldn't have taken many back when they were normal so why do it now? Any I do are a bonus but Kent (old and new) is less accessible to me than Birmingham 120 miles away. My faith is being tested like most great sages in history. Meanwhile I've been watching total nonsense on TV, like 'How racist are you' (ans, who cares?), and the usual nauseating stream of carbon footprints as usual. But the BBC are slipping as they let a disbeliever speak on the radio news despite his performance being worse than useless as he's patented his knowledge so unless he shares it will remain useless.

Optimism is normally outside my scope, but besides the pointless hope for its own sake, which is no better than fearing the worst as neither are real, when you appear to be inspired by a greater force then unless there isn't one you shouldn't drop it if nothing seems to be happening. This force has demonstrated itself to me enough to accept it, and have also learnt besides passing exams the normal ways to success are indirect, ie you can't make them happen deliberately. This week has already been a breakthrough as once I'd found the BBC announcement they had stopped reporting anti global warming data the 10 year old government documents creating a multicultural Britain in secret were released by accident, and then Piers Corbyn got his Climate Fools Day interview on the BBC news. Things have freed up, and you can't put that lot back in the box proving we've been shat on and lied to by those I said were doing it from day one. If they've been caught with their hands in the till a few times then what about all the rest we haven't found yet? I'm also waiting for the new film 'Not evil, just wrong' to counter 'An Incovenient Truth' to be released, and hope to goodness it's in cinemas and not just the one showing two weeks ago online. That won't teach the kids if it's all we're going to see of it.

Counting my hits

The clocks have now gone back, I've covered most of the map looking for old signs so now ready for dark afternoons with indoor jobs. The paperwork mounted up over the summer and am now ready for it. Nothing planned this week besides one booking so far, I will see, last week was the same and incredibly busy in the end so never know.
I have had to get yet another counter for here, but the good news is it's huge. The onld one stopped at 5 figures which was pretty useless, I had 8 on this but cut down to 7 for size and reality. I'll see how many I'm getting now and has the existing total and start date posted at the bottom of the page as before.

Another theme this week is the truth squeaking out. They've proved that the BBC supressed anti global warming data in 2006 as I guessed, the Labour government deliberately let almost anyone in the country from 2000 as I guessed, and we've just been hit with car taxes Hitler and Stalin would have shuddered at. The time of lying can only last so long as eventually the turds hiding under the chest of drawers in the corner of the room have to surface when you drop something nearby (personal experience). Our government has now been shown up as the lying cheating arseholes I always said they were, and while they bleat about Nick Griffin finally getting his say on the BBC (unlike people dissing global warming, odd that), the government actually engineered it that the BNP would be the only party speaking up against immigration. Who else are people meant to expect to represent their views? Not that I like them but I do know what they stand for, unlike the crooks we've got now.

I ploughed through enough work last week it was like a normal person and although deserve the break have pretty much run out of ideas. The paperwork may lead to my first published article so a good start, and another good opportunity for the guidance to show itself. My map is almost filled in showing I've looked at every likely spot for direction signs, and the rest are so rare I'd need months to cover the small roads just in case and still unlikely to get any new ones. Although I have a small set of warning/information signs none are perfect. I have a lovely HALT and T junction but no circle or triangle on top. I have a single triangle on top school sign (after missing a T junction and losing a roundabout) and five 5mph speed limits, including one with its circle still there. And finally I have a crossroads sign but it's a copy of the original so not 100% kosher, maybe not even 1% kosher. One decent triangle sign (not on the way to Peterborough though, the mind is willing but not the body) and the work is over. The research goes on and I know had I got one earlier wouldn't have made such an effort to get the others which are technically better as each direction is unique to one location. The others were universal and everyone's seen them before I take mine.

I was doing some of my spiritual work, and wondered if God claims to communicate with people how our leaders are the pits? There was an answer, that the sort of bastards choosing to bully the public don't generally have the open mind to hear the messages. The amount of stuff I get is increasing, whoever passes it on, and I only know it's not me as it's what I suspect but can't prove. When I do prove it later it only confirms what I'd worked out with little or no evidence. Some is logical but others have just been knowing as if I'd been told but hadn't. They seem like our own thoughts but the information is from outside our experience.
There is a level above my current one, of choosing where the guidance takes us. That's the highest level of adept, and one we only hear anecdotally. I don't say 'I want to meet a woman/ find a sign etc today/this week/month' and get it. In fact most things on my list not within my own ability to earn have been got at all.

Therefore the woman, and all the other highest level aims on my list are harder the less related to work they are, so an article or going on proper TV are likely as already on the career path, whereas women and signs are down to what's there already. I do seem to be able to divert the worst arrangements with years of practice, people still corral me into doing something I don't want to, and then they cancel it. That happens over 50% of the time, probably more, so a start. That's negative influence, if I can equally attract events I do want I'll have cracked it. I did make a list and so far fixed a long standing financial dispute and get the broken red triangle sign, then it seemed to fizzle out. I do enjoy the freedom not having to check the chat boards every day and deal with queries, but enjoyed it more doing it and never intended to stop had I not been forced out. I had getting that back on my list and that hasn't happened. I can do plenty of other things now but never wanted more than a break from that and now it's been imposed on me am ready to go back and ask for a break if I need one. The women around me go from bad to worse, and all my email enquiries are in another phase of being binned.

I will see in a few days how the counter is going, and another aspect of dark days is I can read more blogs and attract some more readers here as I used to. There's been no counter for a couple of months now so probably lost up to 1000 off the total but will see if the numbers creep up more than they did when the other was working.