The ramblings of a madman

I must become better at making something out of nothing. It's good that work is now stopping me from having too much empty time, and also feel less guilty for any complete days off as I've earned them. How I make something from very little includes the creative side, writing, doing little Youtube performances, painting and whatever else comes to me. Having grown up in Finchley where both Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan lived gave me some local inspiration, although I never came across either. The Goodies and Monty Python team all lived in Hampstead and Cricklewood next door, and occasionally bumped into some of them locally although never disturbed them. Whether an area can effect our personality is unlikely (besides causing depression) but people of certain types often seem to be found in small areas. Kingsbury is no exception.

So currently there's nothing possible to look forward to in any area. Business is done, time is free outside bookings but there's little else going on. If this is a phase and life actually starts becoming exciting that is the less likely option of two, but not impossible either. I slept too badly on Friday to risk going to the library as you need your wits about you with women. I can slip that in any day except a Wednesday when they close. I never miss an opportunity to make anything happen in life but always find the big stuff comes when it wants to not because I make it happen. Like sleeping, you can go to bed but sleep comes when it chooses to. Everything else of much value is the same. You can go to every disco and party in town but meet the right one when you visit a friend.

I know it's unrealistic but I could really do with something nice happening either I hadn't worked for or put the work in ages ago and given up on. I may avoid tasks I don't like (who doesn't given the chance?) but throw myself fully into the others that are just hard work but tolerable like weightlifting. Once a task is accepted it is done fully or given up. No pissing around like most people you come across who cut corners and make mistakes and just try and get jobs out of the way as quickly as possible or try not to do them at all and make excuses. People hate it when they do it to them but still happy to when it suits them, like the late payers I know only too well. They take out summonses very quickly when anyone owes them but do exactly the same when they feel like it and hit the roof if anyone sues them. Hypocrisy is another human failing and one of the lowest.

One thing I have learnt. What is obvious to me either from experience or intuition is not common knowledge so do what I can to teach others. I work by simplifying situations and removing bad practices rather than offer new methods. It's a lot easier to stop doing something wrong and by default you are going to get whatever it is done better. We all know how to walk but it's a lot easier if our shoes are on the right feet and there aren't any weights hanging off us we don't need to carry. So remove the obstacles and the path normally opens up on its own with no new instruction.
This works for more and more situations, and for me I see similar patterns apply wherever things are wrong, but most people take no notice when you point it out anyway. I see power being abused, and half the fault is those who allow it as it's inevitable it will happen unless the victims stop it as many powerful people get carried away sooner or later. The only power I want is over myself, it is nice when my requests are accepted but that will always be by choice not by any pressure I can exert. Let the Mafia do their job and I'll go straight.

I have used 'The Secret' for about a year now, and two goals at the top of a very short list were reached, so have that as a possible reserve, in the large 'Things you don't understand but may actually work' department. I have a longer list now but must just do one or two maximum at a time or it won't be focused. Now if that kept working it would cut every corner in everyone's life, and is no less enjoyable when got the easy way after 49 years getting things the hard way. I do believe I must receive a lot of my information from another source. When I turn on I can simply write a complete proposition or poem in one go with barely a pause and it all works at the end with no alterations required. That's happened fairly recently and I think I may have just opened up that channel with practice, and something we can all do really.

Finally for those either in London or sad enough to go online to www.lbc.co.uk they've got a newsreader on recently on the late shift, Clemency Norris, who sounds like she's got a cleft palate. It's one thing having equal opportunities but just as I wouldn't choose a blind taxi driver an announcer with a bad speech impediment is not a good ad for the station. If it's a physical disability then work behind the scenes, and if not then spend your massive salary on speech therapy for a while and then come back when you've fixed it. If mynah birds can get every language and accent right then a bloody announcer can. There's another they employed at the same time who can't make the 'th' sound which is a local issue and again should either iron it out or change jobs. That is just irritating and I have no option hearing people saying 'wiv' anywhere in and around London without one being paid to do it on the radio. Accents are great but you don't learn to speak posh and launch yourself on the public before you've completed the job. I'd be far happier if they let the odd swear word out than speech defects. That would lose a few listeners and gain thousands I reckon.

"This is the ten O'clock news: Gordon Brown has fucked up his chances of winning the next election. Sir Alan Sugar has become a Lord, can any twat make it now if he can? A careless bugger has killed three people on the M6" etc. I'd certainly take more notice...

Am I wasting my life?

Here I am again, things are what I would call typical, although besides being on another treatment for earache which has improved today, I actually have few obligations lined up at the moment. That I know of anyway. Tomorrow is my day off, although there are accounts to do here at my leisure, ie when I have the time, so once I've been out if it's dry will probably get on with sorting all the receipts for over a year for a random inspection. Again. I know why they do it but can really do without the work even though I get paid for it it's boring and not worth the few pounds I get.
Looking back there's literally nothing worth reporting besides a few photos of nice gardens on my block (this estate actually has proper blocks like America) and was working much of the afternoon on said accounts mainly. The annual lot seem virtually sorted out after explaining our program to the accountant who agreed they have labelled everything with the wrong headings. Not an accounting convention, just a bunch of wank, as they say in Kingsbury.

Last night they were talking about coincidences on the radio so I called in and asked if anyone had seen The Secret, not a squeak. Then the next presenter came on and said he'd planned to talk about coincidences as well before the other one did. And no one called him either. But they are real. I know that much. But sooner or later out of the millions I can't be the only person who wants to investigate it further. I am looking for even one discussion forum on it, and the few I started have screamed to a halt. Such an alleged big deal should have a little more reaction and interest than it has, besides fucking enormous sales and profit figures for the participants. Is that really all it is about, as the critics say? This is the best all or nothing example I have seen, and fairly easily testable compared to most.

Otherwise each day passes with more or less activity, amazingly despite intermittent health problems I've got my chores done, they were just a lot harder than they would have been. Just like my 97 year old grandma, although I now do a lot less, every little job can feel like an achievement. But looking back the main thing I see is they were done. I hadn't taken my albums anywhere else yet but no rush for that, and the pictures I've taken are adding to the next one anyway. In a way besides knowing where to look I've gone to the trouble of driving around for ages taking them, although if you were given a map you could probably polish most of them off in a week. And spend a packet on a good camera as well. I've technically finished my list now, and am finally looking around gardens just in case I see any more nice ones like today. But I've done every decent road within 5 miles of Kingsbury and although I can go to Bushey eventually it isn't that great really. Plus half my relatives are there after they died. It has two associations for me, years of horse riding and the cemetery. We used to go shopping there as well and bought a car in the big Honda garage as well. The health food shop owner also gave me piano lessons for a while. When in doubt trawl past memories.

Beyond that lies Hatch End which has a few possibilities, and used to be one of my shops of choice when I lived near there as it was quiet and easy to park. Pinner has already had all the best photos done on film as we had a friend there years ago. The Northwood and Ruislip which really aren't that photogenic and not worth the trip. In all other directions are run down dumps, Kilburn, Hornsey, and the other way miles of faceless suburbs like Southgate and Palmers Green which are like the dark side in comparison to where I usually go. One day when I get a contact in TV I'll get a documentary walking the London suburbs making my usual comments on how many testicles would buy a house in Hampstead Garden Suburb or how many gangsters live in a street in Stanmore. You can also tell the areas to avoid by the taxi quotient or TQ. When I lived in Canons Park it was about 1 in 10, second only to Ilford and besides one friend who is far from typical all the ones who call the radio are total stereotypes, frustrated professors and politicians. OK, it takes a mechanical memory to pass the knowledge but it's the easiest actual job on earth once you pass, high fares and hours by choice. What could be better? I refused to take my law finals as I knew what the job involved and didn't see the point in qualifying to do a job I couldn't stand. I tried a few other courses and ended up with one not recognised by the state so basically bloody useless. Very helpful to the clients but not one to make a living in.

Besides taxi driving writing articles from home is another well paid holiday, and if I can screw the right person I may one day become published. Actually if I could screw anyone it would be quite nice. Especially if female, and human. Any considered. Time is running out and I can't be too choosy...