Nothing new?

Reminded by my friend on Facebook, despite always looking for something that will be of use, nothing may actually work. Admittedly my philosophy helps many other people as I use it in my work and with friends although is mainly practical rather than spiritual. The spiritual side isn't so simple though as there's no science and no direct cause. But there's no alternative while I see both yawning gaps in life and the possibility there is a lot more if only we learn how to use it.

I also see the internet appearing to become reality for many of us, and sometimes need to take photos and films of our rarer trips out to prove we're actually still capable of it. The fact the rise of broadband coincided with a marked reduction in my own social activities is no more than a coincidence, but the good side is I now appreciate so much I do since it almost dried up for various reasons. So I appreciate every person and every place I go now and always will.
I have just heard a little talk on what the flow is, and can now say it's not hanging on to what you just did mentally but just dealing with what's here now, and not worrying ahead either. So instead of being held back by thoughts of the past, like driving and looking behind you, you let it go and move on. It's that simple and I'll have to catch myself doing it now as breaking habits is as useful as meditation itself if it contributes to the same end.

I must be excused for hoping for more- is anyone satisfied with every aspect of their lives? I only worry about the major areas as who cares about the details? If the main aspects of my life are OK then the ups and downs are ridden a lot easier as they were in the past. I repeat this every now and again simply as so many days remind me of it. Besides the usual advice (uncalled for) what I should be doing to get more work and social life, as if I hadn't tried it already, I don't have any magic ways to change a single aspect of my life directly. There's no point throwing effort at it as all I'll be is alone but more tired. My current aims are to improve my media career and social life, both of which would have similar effects. As I was reminded, however early my progress is in the media it's many miles beyond nearly everyone else on earth. That means whatever I'm doing, bearing in mind I never got an Equity card or have any family connections in the area, is working. Business is relatively controllable compared to pleasure and I've always just kept ahead there. And besides the lack of acceptable women always had a bloody good social life as well but totally by just doing what I always do.

Last night I was with my mother and her friend, and also decided the main problem is if you don't get married you're left with a few loyal friends and other singles who tend to be thin on the ground and mainly peculiar. The couples drop you or won't make friends with you if you meet them later. Only being likely to make single friends restricts the options by about 90%, and it does seem to turn people into self satisfied and superior beings once they start their own family. The fact the lowest class of all are the ones to have the earliest and largest families doesn't seem to register with them at all, that if you have basically no standards and on the dole you can more or less hook up with anyone like yourself and just eat, drink, smoke and shag. The available types for the much fewer intellectuals means we're spread out worldwide, and although now able to meet up online on some sites, are too spread out to do much more. I also pointed out how people either click with me or not, and if they do last for decades. That doesn't often happen either.

So it's pretty hard to change the nature of society and although I doubt most people deliberately exclude singles from their own lives the effect is the same. Some days I see the cheese, other days I see the holes. I don't make the rules...

Another few days

Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble Grubb. Inigo Pipkin, it's Inigo Pipkin, Inigo the puppet maker. On and on I go, covering the first 15 years of my life as that was the best. Then it got more and more difficult. Exams, work, I stopped growing. All that. Then my mother left home. Then I left home. Nothing's changed since then, hence my preferred return to the early 70s and before.

A few things have actually progressed this week, as well as getting my TV clip online there's a trailer for the next one (did I mention it already??) meaning it should happen. I had a good abductee session on Thursday (my unpaid job) and apparently connected to an alien myself. From little spots on obscure TV stations to being recognised in public may follow. Before they were famous clips always involve people already on TV, basically once you've been used you can equally become famous with anyone else. The accounts got every waking moment between clients and taking photos and I still can't produce a thing they actually want. I can't do any more than my best and if they don't tell me what I must do then I can't do it and just waste days of my time.

Bloody wore me out as well. At least I took one lot of photos with someone else again yesterday, makes all the difference. No sex or anything like it but it's an improvement. Unlike my blog hits. Even though there are more active bloggers than ever and the links are back only a couple of new people have found their way here. The counter is still as low as before and I haven't had time to read any since the accounts demand arrived on Tuesday. If the company goes bust and I don't get paid they'll be the last accounts I ever do. Thank god I'm not expected to be a fake surgeon instead of a fake accountant, at least no one can get physically injured, only financially, as I am employed to 'save money' but my lack of ability means it costs more in the end and I'm not surprised.

I suspect (as it hasn't been my experience for more than periods of a day or so) if I was part of a household again we'd share such burdens and life would be 3 dimensional again. And having someone else around takes my mind off the empty thoughts when on my own for days in a row. Terry Waite had his freedom taken away in ways we can all understand but having to live alone is the nearest thing without actually being in prison, and can make the sanest people lose it after long enough.
Well, let's see what the other bloggers have to say, there really are a lot of mentals out there now, I won't leave messages as they seem quite wrapped up in their own worlds and probably wouldn't even understand a normal comment compared to the weirdness they write. From spiritual philosophy to a diary of very little and complaints which repeat as regularly as my grandma's I can see the appeal of reading these entries going, but I see little or no spirituality in life having looked, and have reached reporting my days as they arrive with a few toilet words added for the salt and pepper. Izal, Bronco, Portaloo, Understains, Enemas, Fellatio, There's a pubic hair in my soup and Don't spit in the subway. I rest my case and my sanity.