I’ve had a few days free to get my thoughts together, and have been able to assess more or less where I stand. On the pleasure side little is known. I have no idea when and how it will arrive, all I know is a provisional date for a TV filming (which I’m not sure will be shown in the UK) and a 5% chance with a woman I know at a later date.
The only area I see as offering anything back for the effort I put in is still the supernatural. Despite seeing people apparently manipulating matter with their minds and speaking to aliens through human subjects, I have nothing known more than telepathy, clairvoyance and aura vision. Healing also works and I do know energy can be sent across any distance but yet to know what this energy can do. But when I consider the number of educated non believers I realise just by a few hours of research anyone can know nearly all I do and never doubt certain powers are definitely real. You can’t test anything in a laboratory that can’t be physically measured like thoughts or feelings, so each person will have to witness a demonstration themselves before they’ll know. And I don’t mean hearing a reading from someone else, which they can all say is a trick. I mean actually do it themselves. I show people in a few minutes and the less open minded almost cack themselves in fright when they get things correct.
One known is what’s up with my DVD burner. It turns out any computer made before 2005 can’t read the format. Bugger that for a lark. The good news is I needn’t return to the dreaded PC World, EVER! I can now burn all my files and videos to DVD and just be careful where I try and watch them, but my own computer is fine as the burner acts as an external reader as well. The staff could have mentioned this when selling the stuff though as it affects nearly everyone and took me three days to learn what they could have on a sign.
So, there’s a blank canvas ahead. I’ve fixed my teeth, computer, garden, mother’s garden, car sale and purchase, done and sold a painting, had all my medical examinations and treatment and taken lots of nice photos. Unless something else falls apart in my house or body I think the main crap has been sorted out, and it’s an adventure in limbo to make something of the time I have. The first item is to finish the second commissioned painting, then to finish and send off the article for the slightly higher circulation magazine than anything I’ve written for before. It’s all written but just needs some data added from my files before the final version is typed. Beyond that I will let drift as it will whether I try and aim anywhere or not. If my health improves (illness has given way to almost chronic tiredness, which is a definite improvement) and the panic attacks wear off (as tiredness gives me little resistance to outside circumstances) there will be many more things (mainly social) I can do. Unless the next woman I meet appreciates the person more than where they go, like I do. Miracles do happen but are not anything you can rely on.
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