Updates from my cruising

Following yesterday's report, I can actually update already. When things happen, they tend to very quickly or not at all. As the machine gun approach tends to be more effective than any directed attempt at success the sheer number of messages I sent were the best chance I had of receiving a reply, and have now heard my first proper update in 30 years (besides one phone call) and may be put in touch with a few more names as a result.

Today saw the two appointments I had shifted from Tuesday, so had little time to do much else besides cut the front lawn and get some desperately needed food. It was actually not that cold outside for a change, we've had a month pf arctic fed weather predicted and so far every day has followed that pattern. It wasn't warm today, but wasn't cold, and I expect little change now. Global warming has truly managed to remain totally in the media and far from reality. It's the coldest spring I've ever witnessed and I've got a pretty long memory.

There's absolutely nothing on TV tonight, and the phone calls I should make besides one can wait till tomorrow as they're all cack. So I have myself and a computer for entertainment, and have a pile of emails to send next which will probably get me nowhere but have to be sent just in case. I will say hello to my cousin, however, who I just spoke to across the Atlantic on his birthday. I haven't got any of my own cousins, this is my mother's one so nearer her age, and born in the States, but has been a regular visitor here all my life so know him and get on very well. I have also seen both him and his mother (on separate occasions and very different states) over there. And as I said I'd be sending him my blog link I ought to say hello and welcome to my strange world of trivia and mental twists and turns. But after knowing me even on and off all my life I don't think many will be that much of a surprise to him...

I've finished my first commissioned painting, which blogger refused to display yesterday so I'll try again now. If you can't see it you'll know the fault hasn't been fixed. Now I have some spare time I haven't even imagined what to do with it tomorrow but am happy to have the day off so I can do whatever I feel like. I doubt I'll be bending any cutlery, having an out of body experience, having an old girlfriend round, finding anything I've lost or seeing anyone but it really doesn't matter. I've done all the big stuff already so needn't achieve something just because the time is available to.

I hope I will eventually find two or three people nearby who share the same sort of interests as me, it's really pointless talking about serious philosophy when most people would prefer talking about 'Lost' (TV for people who find 'Desperate housewives' too challenging), Iraq, arguments at work (something that can never happen to me... no work), what their children are doing (ditto) etc etc.
I am personally committed to learning how everything in the world works, and then how to make the best of it. It is literally a minefield of potential dangers, and you can't avoid them as if you bypass the ones you can see you still tread on one you can't. I do it, most people do it, and it's built into the design. As the effects can be devastating and long term (possibly permanent but I won't know that for a while, will I...), my mission is to find the exits. Part of it is finding the gatekeepers, if they exist. These are the rare people, personnified on TV by such savants as Dr Who, who actually know what's going on. Maybe such information doesn't exist, but as I've already learnt some which does I presume there's probably a little more at least which I am determined to learn and exploit.

Otherwise I'm in this war of nature versus human, with no protection besides my house, and of course what's that formula? Safe at home, dangers outside, agoraphobia. Pretty sensible reaction if you ask me. So unless I find some ways to cheat the system and stop the worst elements of the outside and inside (such as depression) from getting me then I'll be exposed fully unless I'm at home or the equivalent. So I have a very good reason to find more answers. The funniest thing is in the past when anyone finds an answer our nature is to share it and help others. No! They don't care!
Having just been analysed as a teacher and communicator by numerology, I then have to face a frustration of if I do ever find a key to an exit I won't be telling anyone the good news. There's no point, as the way it works is the few people who want to know will look themselves. So unless someone asks me I won't be saying a thing. I've learnt that lesson so that's one area where despite wanting to communicate will gain nothing from trying.

But there may be no keys. If not, I'll have to be patient and use the one I have a lot more, which is meditation. If there's really little worth doing alone then I won't be missing anything else if I go back to an hour a day. Of course I used to do twice that at the beginning but I really need results to spend so long out of a day. I know what can happen but it so rarely did it's just not economical to nowadays, especially with the new distraction of 24 hr broadband. But that's my safety net should nothing else turn up and I'll be back on the horse and maybe gain more than I did the last time. But so far I've found nothing that works much or often, so will keep looking.