A very unusual week for the last decade or so, after 11 people for my birthday on saturday, the two people delayed by the snow came for dinner (delivered), then a work booking followed by an old girlfriend arriving from Manchester with very little notice for the evening, one booking yesterday and out with a friend today. It can't last though and like most phases of all types will open and close. The book with my photos in is in the post now and will do my best to get to at least some of the launch as can take them there as well, besides the incredible network opportunities, but can't handle a crowded restaurant very long though and may not even make any of it. Nothing is worth suffering for for any cause, besides taking exams once they're over then all other suffering is either forced on us or an option. And I believe if I miss one opportunity another will turn up in its place, that only doesn't work with women as business and pleasure have quite different laws.
No more real plans now, I am getting new lenses put in my sunglasses this week, and otherwise it will be business as usual unless more possibilities turn up. Meanwhile a new teacher I've subscribed to gave a very interesting description of enlightenment (he really seems to both understand and explain it), if meditation is where the thing you focus on becomes all you are aware of, when that is focused on consciousness itself you experience enlightenment. And when it becomes all you experience continually you are enlightened. That makes sense.
Between visitors/visits I've been making a few local videos which are more popular than my musical ones, although the comedy is by far the most popular. I think that's about right as of all the videos and shows I've done the comedy is my favourite as well. Most people who play an instrument can do it better than me but not as many people can do comedy full stop. You can't learn that in lessons, it's either there or not.
So after wanting a career in the media I have a possible break, but one on the borderline of my own tolerance levels. I'll just see how I feel on the day and take it from there, I can't do any better.
No more answers but plenty of questions then, and few ideas new or otherwise. So just wait and see again, there's no more I can do. It was a very productive week but left me with little more than memories.
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Drawing a blank
This is an interesting test. Each day of freedom shows me it can be used despite no plans until I get there. I got some nice pictures in Harrow School today and then got a few chores done before getting in front of the TV and computer as normal. I've got a counter here now with enough numbers not to get busted in a few years, and finally (I hope) repaired my Internet Explorer as it was only loading pages every few attempts. I still can't use my recent documents but the two went together so may be connected. Tomorrow is free again and besides making a possible video haven't made any decisions, although in the evening do plan some paperwork now it's dark by before 5. I haven't checked the hit counter yet a day after I set it, but will be commenting on others again now it's too dark to stay out very late.
The green taxes hit hard today, with meat to follow the fuel already set to double or more. As if I didn't see it coming and shame on all the gullible fools who thought it was about the planet. I hope one by one these people learn a lesson the governments are bigger crooks than the convicts, and no different from Soviet Russia or even the Nazis, who were arguably more honest as they said exactly what they planned to do and the people happened to agree. I don't of course but I don't agree with the current bunch of wankers either. The era of truth has begun though, the immigration plans are now out of the bag and as long as an MP or two force an enquiry the issue may be discredited as it should have been via the last election that kept these clowns in. The BBC were forced to admit the climate figures, probably before everyone else left them behind to look like climate stability deniers. Boot on other foot now isn't it?
It's always a balance between the personal world and the outside world, any good news on either always helps but comes as and when it chooses. As I have 32 blue panel direction signs already the idea of travelling the London equivalent of an Indiana Jones journey is allowed to discourage me, after getting some far rarer ones just as far afield but on much easier routes. Then is Knockholt, a lot further but in the country, and Sevenoaks which is on one route there. Saved for later if I can be arsed that is. The woman whose sister claimed she wanted to marry me in a few months is not behaving like anyone who even wants more than a free evening of entertainment to me. I don't want more than her body as her mind sadly is a very large echoing void. Quite harmless but the mind of a child. If not she'd have been married years ago.
So I hope for a lot, although hope is second to greed as it's smaller child. But I don't expect it which is the child of unintelligence. I expect nothing as even the usual events can change either way, and only dare to hope as things have happened before so set the precedent. There is a line to cross for every event in my life from darkness to light. Women, fame, sorting out each news issue, and everything else affecting my quality of life. I blog besides living alone as there's no community in London. People in Liphook 50 miles away were saying on TV they all know each other, and had I grew up in a small town like that I'd be part of something and know lots of people nearby. As it is the only neighbour who bothered with me (usually to cadge favours) was sent 60 miles away by a court in his absence, my best friend fled the country in 2002, and my nearest two relatives to me are both dead now. There's Ms Medication, the nearest thing to a relationship currently who does live round the corner and gives little but grief and aggravation, besides getting me out doing things again, someone a few miles away who works nights, my parents even further (in different directions), and currently that's it. There was the creepy lizard literally round the corner who entertained herself visiting for whatever she could get out of my personal abilities till I didn't do her a favour in the way she wanted and let all her poison out by email. Not that that was new, she'd just saved it as if I couldn't tell until she didn't want me any more and let me know what was always in her mind.
Then there's the list of people I do my best to avoid. These are the tail end of a stream of hangers on I've had since I left school who didn't work and found me around during the day when I was a student or working odd hours (yes, I worked properly till a while ago). I learnt to head them off but one or two still return when they feel like a try again. I have a car, a decent computer and plenty to eat. Then I can do my impressions and similar to complete the full use of my potential with absolutely nothing in return. No thanks. I've done my best to keep the sponge from the door but it keeps trying. I've had enough of being sponged and that was after 2am trips to supermarkets and other minicab jobs (unpaid) before I drew the line. So being almost fully isolated from actual people I have no current choice but the internet. I hope (yet again) that will not last for too much longer.
The green taxes hit hard today, with meat to follow the fuel already set to double or more. As if I didn't see it coming and shame on all the gullible fools who thought it was about the planet. I hope one by one these people learn a lesson the governments are bigger crooks than the convicts, and no different from Soviet Russia or even the Nazis, who were arguably more honest as they said exactly what they planned to do and the people happened to agree. I don't of course but I don't agree with the current bunch of wankers either. The era of truth has begun though, the immigration plans are now out of the bag and as long as an MP or two force an enquiry the issue may be discredited as it should have been via the last election that kept these clowns in. The BBC were forced to admit the climate figures, probably before everyone else left them behind to look like climate stability deniers. Boot on other foot now isn't it?
It's always a balance between the personal world and the outside world, any good news on either always helps but comes as and when it chooses. As I have 32 blue panel direction signs already the idea of travelling the London equivalent of an Indiana Jones journey is allowed to discourage me, after getting some far rarer ones just as far afield but on much easier routes. Then is Knockholt, a lot further but in the country, and Sevenoaks which is on one route there. Saved for later if I can be arsed that is. The woman whose sister claimed she wanted to marry me in a few months is not behaving like anyone who even wants more than a free evening of entertainment to me. I don't want more than her body as her mind sadly is a very large echoing void. Quite harmless but the mind of a child. If not she'd have been married years ago.
So I hope for a lot, although hope is second to greed as it's smaller child. But I don't expect it which is the child of unintelligence. I expect nothing as even the usual events can change either way, and only dare to hope as things have happened before so set the precedent. There is a line to cross for every event in my life from darkness to light. Women, fame, sorting out each news issue, and everything else affecting my quality of life. I blog besides living alone as there's no community in London. People in Liphook 50 miles away were saying on TV they all know each other, and had I grew up in a small town like that I'd be part of something and know lots of people nearby. As it is the only neighbour who bothered with me (usually to cadge favours) was sent 60 miles away by a court in his absence, my best friend fled the country in 2002, and my nearest two relatives to me are both dead now. There's Ms Medication, the nearest thing to a relationship currently who does live round the corner and gives little but grief and aggravation, besides getting me out doing things again, someone a few miles away who works nights, my parents even further (in different directions), and currently that's it. There was the creepy lizard literally round the corner who entertained herself visiting for whatever she could get out of my personal abilities till I didn't do her a favour in the way she wanted and let all her poison out by email. Not that that was new, she'd just saved it as if I couldn't tell until she didn't want me any more and let me know what was always in her mind.
Then there's the list of people I do my best to avoid. These are the tail end of a stream of hangers on I've had since I left school who didn't work and found me around during the day when I was a student or working odd hours (yes, I worked properly till a while ago). I learnt to head them off but one or two still return when they feel like a try again. I have a car, a decent computer and plenty to eat. Then I can do my impressions and similar to complete the full use of my potential with absolutely nothing in return. No thanks. I've done my best to keep the sponge from the door but it keeps trying. I've had enough of being sponged and that was after 2am trips to supermarkets and other minicab jobs (unpaid) before I drew the line. So being almost fully isolated from actual people I have no current choice but the internet. I hope (yet again) that will not last for too much longer.
Friday, October 09, 2009
1000th post
I just spotted this would be the 1000th post since I began just over 4 years ago. I don't see many people keeping up their blogs much over a year but when I find anything I like I keep going. I'm coming up to 10 years on Funtrivia in february and see no reason to move on wherever I'm happy, but not many others seem to bother.
I have to buy a new car very quickly as mine was both damaged outside and inside, but covered by insurance. How I didn't hear it outside my house is amazing but couldn't do anything about that. The rest of the week has been wet till today so did indoors stuff and scanned all the rest of my old photos worth using to Flickr. Then I had to run around over the car today onwards plus the usual business with my grandma's estate. So no gathering dust, and someone actually noticed I hadn't been on Facebook for a few days. I may well be the owner of a new car tomorrow if it hasn't yet been sold but there was nothing wrong with the old one before it was wrecked. I can use it though but beyond reasonable repair.
When I spoke to Jesus he said what would I write for my 1000th post and I said 'What would Jesus do?' Probably preach some ghastly crap which was then distorted for 2000 years until it bore no relation to the original message was my guess, but he was more subtle and said make a list of all the people in your life since 2004 who either passed or failed your tests. So, without much chance of any of them reading this (or working out who they were if they do), here is a rough selection:
1) Every woman I know besides one I tried who told me where to get off. Thanks girls, I won't be sending any christmas cards.
2) All the people I've met online who were just the same as they were in reality. I'm jusy sorry none live less than 40 miles away (most are way beyond) so I can do it more often.
3) The conspiracy to get me out of a job. I'll never quite know why they did it but got what they wanted, at what gain though?
4) My grandma, who carried on regardless as she was 50 years earlier and suddenly stopped just short of her 100th birthday.
5) My cat Lucy who arrived by chance in 1999 and left the world at an uncertain age in 2008 after a very happy time here.
6) All the people I know online who I haven't met, but possibly will if close enough.
7) My friend who did half the work on my grandma's estate (or more) without whom we would have had to waste a lot of money on strangers we couldn't trust.
8) My father's neighbours who have helped me and showered me with gifts over the years.
9) Nick Roach, a very patient and honest teacher.
10) The c**t at the residents association who screwed up my plans and then screwed them up again.
11) All the newspaper editors who got their reporters to interview me and then didn't use the results.
12) The arsehole at the council who ignored my emails and messages.
13) The friend whose work meant I was saved the biggest financial loss of my whole life.
14) The people at Flickr who sent me locations of old signs they knew I'd never have found otherwise.
15) My new friend from Big Brother.
and finally the people who confirmed they were not just as bad as I suspected but even worse.
They wouldn't know who they were or care if they did, which was why I judged them so.
But there is a long list there and like everything in the 'real world' pretty evenly divided between one or the other. The good look down on the bad, from their higher developmental position, and although can see what they do they would never dream of doing themselves, they can do nothing to stop them no more than we can go in the past and teach the savages. They are way back on their journey and we have no way to avoid them hitting us with their primitive weapons based on greed, pride and fear. I tried teaching a few of them and got rude messages in return, but I had to check. And some I thought were better proved otherwise, and others clearly are more interested in kissing ass than doing the right thing. That's the fear element working, for the power element combined with greed. I know I'm only driven by fear, but not to stitch good people up, just to avoid danger. I had 5 years of power on a website and kept more people there while others just booted them off. Very few people needed booting off but they were happy to ruin someone's pleasure for an indiscretion or behaviour they had probably done themselves in a past existence.
So for those with their fingers on the buttons, they don't have to use them. The test is not whether you can but whether when you can you do. Anyone can be given authority but few will use it properly. That is my next article (just needs editing when it's wet again), and then have to find somewhere with more than a handful of readers to publish it. As I always say, if one person learns it's a miracle. And let's hope for many ones.
I have to buy a new car very quickly as mine was both damaged outside and inside, but covered by insurance. How I didn't hear it outside my house is amazing but couldn't do anything about that. The rest of the week has been wet till today so did indoors stuff and scanned all the rest of my old photos worth using to Flickr. Then I had to run around over the car today onwards plus the usual business with my grandma's estate. So no gathering dust, and someone actually noticed I hadn't been on Facebook for a few days. I may well be the owner of a new car tomorrow if it hasn't yet been sold but there was nothing wrong with the old one before it was wrecked. I can use it though but beyond reasonable repair.
When I spoke to Jesus he said what would I write for my 1000th post and I said 'What would Jesus do?' Probably preach some ghastly crap which was then distorted for 2000 years until it bore no relation to the original message was my guess, but he was more subtle and said make a list of all the people in your life since 2004 who either passed or failed your tests. So, without much chance of any of them reading this (or working out who they were if they do), here is a rough selection:
1) Every woman I know besides one I tried who told me where to get off. Thanks girls, I won't be sending any christmas cards.
2) All the people I've met online who were just the same as they were in reality. I'm jusy sorry none live less than 40 miles away (most are way beyond) so I can do it more often.
3) The conspiracy to get me out of a job. I'll never quite know why they did it but got what they wanted, at what gain though?
4) My grandma, who carried on regardless as she was 50 years earlier and suddenly stopped just short of her 100th birthday.
5) My cat Lucy who arrived by chance in 1999 and left the world at an uncertain age in 2008 after a very happy time here.
6) All the people I know online who I haven't met, but possibly will if close enough.
7) My friend who did half the work on my grandma's estate (or more) without whom we would have had to waste a lot of money on strangers we couldn't trust.
8) My father's neighbours who have helped me and showered me with gifts over the years.
9) Nick Roach, a very patient and honest teacher.
10) The c**t at the residents association who screwed up my plans and then screwed them up again.
11) All the newspaper editors who got their reporters to interview me and then didn't use the results.
12) The arsehole at the council who ignored my emails and messages.
13) The friend whose work meant I was saved the biggest financial loss of my whole life.
14) The people at Flickr who sent me locations of old signs they knew I'd never have found otherwise.
15) My new friend from Big Brother.
and finally the people who confirmed they were not just as bad as I suspected but even worse.
They wouldn't know who they were or care if they did, which was why I judged them so.
But there is a long list there and like everything in the 'real world' pretty evenly divided between one or the other. The good look down on the bad, from their higher developmental position, and although can see what they do they would never dream of doing themselves, they can do nothing to stop them no more than we can go in the past and teach the savages. They are way back on their journey and we have no way to avoid them hitting us with their primitive weapons based on greed, pride and fear. I tried teaching a few of them and got rude messages in return, but I had to check. And some I thought were better proved otherwise, and others clearly are more interested in kissing ass than doing the right thing. That's the fear element working, for the power element combined with greed. I know I'm only driven by fear, but not to stitch good people up, just to avoid danger. I had 5 years of power on a website and kept more people there while others just booted them off. Very few people needed booting off but they were happy to ruin someone's pleasure for an indiscretion or behaviour they had probably done themselves in a past existence.
So for those with their fingers on the buttons, they don't have to use them. The test is not whether you can but whether when you can you do. Anyone can be given authority but few will use it properly. That is my next article (just needs editing when it's wet again), and then have to find somewhere with more than a handful of readers to publish it. As I always say, if one person learns it's a miracle. And let's hope for many ones.
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