Just to clarify yesterday (as I did to the comments as well) I still have a few friends, but either away, busy or both plus one I talk to but never see any more. The effect is similar but the people do exist.
Back to today, one thing I have at the moment is free time, one reason I'm here more as well. They don't charge or limit what we write here so why should I be restricted? I was reading a book yesterday that says we should find just one thing in life we can do something to change and give it a little poke. If I can think of anything I will, although in the way of publicity any more would either just irritate people or make an idiot of myself (no comments on that thank you).
I still chase women from my past, and that can work as I see around me. I'm slowly collecting TV programmes from the 60s and 70s although many were destroyed before anyone could save them, no VCRs back then. There are a few major gaps I haven't tracked down yet but filled quite a few as well, including in charity shops.
Meanwhile sometimes life seems back to normal again when something reminds me of enlightenment and it does seem to resonate now unlike before. If there's a path towrds it if I'm not on it now I don't think anything else would be. The certainty I had with my intuition about so many other things is now relating the same to that, like I've finally got it. Nobody confuses me now and can see the partial expanations many give with their holes in. And I can correct them when people ask, as they do. Can you imagine my blogs of that happened? I can't but they wouldn't have much to complain about. Everything in the world would happen at a distance. You'd still enjoy life but wouldn't actually suffer from what I gather. I will no doubt see something unfold as it seems to have started.
Until then though I will be wrapped up in the ordinary as we all are. My ordinary is a lot more than many, but I did see it coming as being an only child and then have my mother leave so even less family support knew unless I got married sooner or later I'd end up stuck on my own. I discussed the woman mystery yesterday, it's not as if they've stopped producing them or I'm in the Space Shuttle, but there seems to be something of a force field around me on that front at the moment. I remember a woman here who said she was interested in me, although like primary school she showed it by being rude and got pissed off when I objected. God help me if she hadn't liked me. Then she did nothing about it anyway even though she could have.
Funnily enough the annual fireworks party at my old school is next week (although they haven't sent me anything) and I've taken two girlfriends to that before. There's one's sister (the one pissing me around at the moment) and the other who never fancied me and was considering calling after a long gap out of lack of alternatives. If I can think of someone suitable as well it'll be a big surprise. I have a week anyway. Last time there wasn't even any food and we had to go to Starburger afterwards just as they were about to close. She'd already eaten before we got there but still had another meal.
I suspect I'll either take the current one through availability with no 'funny business' or go on my own and not see anyone I know. Not the first time or the last. The rest awaits to be seen but fairly predictable I suppose.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
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