All or nothing here but since the rain started and I had stuff to do indoors this becomes one of them as well. Work tomorrow as well so being a good boy for a change. The dentist is a week from now which isn't too bad considering, and must get on with a normal life as possible till then, which I'm just about getting used to after nearly 5 years since the previous visit.
Beyond that there isn't anything known, and tomorrow is covered unlike yesterday. All I knew was making the appointment and the rest of the day was free, and as raining saved me thinking where to go. Next I'll be delivering my late grandma's medical items back to the hospital, and probably taking some really dodgy pictures while I'm there. If anything nice (beyond my highly respectable monthly and global quiz scores at the end of last month, ie today) happens to divert more of my attention all the better.
One thing I always say as it's the biggest gap in my life is if everything else was identical except there was someone else around the house life would be normal again. I only have to talk here as it's the only way there is. I'm not wasting time waffling on the phone like I used to just because it's there, when you have a person around you don't talk all the time but knowing they're in the house and could if you want to is all you need. I honestly wonder if that will ever happen unless I pay someone, and tenants don't count, it really has to be someone you know and want to share with or it's even worse.
I don't have a single solution. I make the best of what there is and anything else isn't. Eventually you run out of things to do to keep busy but life provides plenty long before that happens.
So I am currently imagining the week ahead, the parts I know for sure and the likely parts in between. I expect no better and have no intention of wasting any time thinking of how, but just go with the flow. It may be just what sewage does, but there are similarities. At least in the last couple of years I've done more or less all the things I should be (besides the fairly unnecessary holidays nowadays), so within this area and around I'm doing whatever I couldn't for a while so really haven't become totally isolated from life like I was for longer than anyone should. But I appreciate every little thing I do now since I couldn't.
Showing posts with label bollocks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bollocks. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Monday, November 23, 2009
A low carbon story
I am learning how to live within what appears to be guidance, as despite it working on many projects there are still huge gaps, and the rule is to look for the guidance in the apparent space. Well today the place with the old sign closed early and may have to go on Wednesday, which is about 30 miles from me. Better than not but a pain nonetheless. Other projects are moving on nicely but weeks or more from completion so can't focus on those seeds still growing slowly so have to find interest in the present. Last weekend I ran out of material and found a sign after a couple of hours online, but can't rely on them for everything.
So the week ahead has been possibly altered somewhat. Tomorrow will be a routine photo trip presumably, and haircut the next day, and Wednesday probably get the sign fitted. There was football on the same night but can't be in both places at once and the football is on again. And I think just after my last entry (certainly when I read the papers) the powers that be have been caught adjusting the figures on global warming. Were it not for the internet this would have been impossible without breaking in but now it's not so easy to hide your tracks. I hope another section of society has been lost from sitting on the fence, as it's so bloody obvious the climate can't rely both on CO2 to drive it, and the piddling (3%) amount we are responsible for. Common sense seems to have been suspended by (41% by our first survey) of the population, and hopefully woken up a few more from their sleep of pure idiotic gullibility. Crooks are crooks and the fact some are in authority is a better reason to expect it than not.
I expect little more but always hope for it, I have collected a lot this year already and raised my level somewhat, and if the book comes out with my photos in it will be more so. But again, not for weeks so can't use it now. Last week I didn't speak to a single person three days flat, and with no grandma may be a regular occurence. I saw today they want to charge for Facebook, that'll remove another social route but may have done all I can on it since the latest batch of new arrivals ignored me in unison. They were all from the 70s, fuck knows what I must have been like to alienate so many women but that hasn't changed 30-40 years later. I only want one or two people I can see locally again, I always have till not long ago but people move and have their own families so all dried up now. But if guided now I've seen other problems solving themselves one by one, so currently seems to be working its way along them all. And writing it all down here always helps organise my mind so even if no one reads it I'd be doing it somehow as I can see all my situation in one place.
I hope tomorrow and beyond brings more global warming revelations as it may finally poke a hole in the balloon that's grown so big the TV and radio can't go an hour without getting it in.
Low carbon economy means basically going to Greece, not knowing the language so you can't read the signs, understand the people and basically either learn a new alphabet and country from scratch or get totally lost. Then you get put in a factory where you can't understand the job or instructions, and someone's preaching to you through a speaker but of course it makes no sense at all. Every so often they slip a little English in, not enough to make sense but to gove the impression of what the job entails. But you never quite get it.
So then you go to sleep and start dreaming with bits of Greek slipped in as it's now all around you. Of course in the dream a little seems to make sense, but when you wake up it's all gone and all you understand the boss shouting at you is 'low carbon economy'. The next step is to ring up one of the clairvoyants who advertise, and see if they can see into the problem. One says they have your spirit guide and you should change your shoes as your footprint is too big. You give her the sack on the spot and try something new.
You then go to the cinema to watch the latest low carbon film, it's on a black screen, some kind of symbolism, but it's in bloody Greek again and because it's in black and white the images keep fading in and out on the black screen. More symbolism of course but only the gods can understand it, well the Greek gods anyway. Alcohol could be the key, so try and get drunk, previously setting the intention for a low carbon hangover. Alka Seltzer is banned there as it produces too much CO2 so another dead end. In the end Al Gore sells you his new bible, which is the bible of world carbon neutrality. In the beginning was the word. Money. Money can be made of paper so if you burn it it releases CO2, so don't burn money, give it to him. Then your industry will be low carbon and they all live happily ever after.
Do you understand it now? No? Me neither.
So the week ahead has been possibly altered somewhat. Tomorrow will be a routine photo trip presumably, and haircut the next day, and Wednesday probably get the sign fitted. There was football on the same night but can't be in both places at once and the football is on again. And I think just after my last entry (certainly when I read the papers) the powers that be have been caught adjusting the figures on global warming. Were it not for the internet this would have been impossible without breaking in but now it's not so easy to hide your tracks. I hope another section of society has been lost from sitting on the fence, as it's so bloody obvious the climate can't rely both on CO2 to drive it, and the piddling (3%) amount we are responsible for. Common sense seems to have been suspended by (41% by our first survey) of the population, and hopefully woken up a few more from their sleep of pure idiotic gullibility. Crooks are crooks and the fact some are in authority is a better reason to expect it than not.
I expect little more but always hope for it, I have collected a lot this year already and raised my level somewhat, and if the book comes out with my photos in it will be more so. But again, not for weeks so can't use it now. Last week I didn't speak to a single person three days flat, and with no grandma may be a regular occurence. I saw today they want to charge for Facebook, that'll remove another social route but may have done all I can on it since the latest batch of new arrivals ignored me in unison. They were all from the 70s, fuck knows what I must have been like to alienate so many women but that hasn't changed 30-40 years later. I only want one or two people I can see locally again, I always have till not long ago but people move and have their own families so all dried up now. But if guided now I've seen other problems solving themselves one by one, so currently seems to be working its way along them all. And writing it all down here always helps organise my mind so even if no one reads it I'd be doing it somehow as I can see all my situation in one place.
I hope tomorrow and beyond brings more global warming revelations as it may finally poke a hole in the balloon that's grown so big the TV and radio can't go an hour without getting it in.
Low carbon economy means basically going to Greece, not knowing the language so you can't read the signs, understand the people and basically either learn a new alphabet and country from scratch or get totally lost. Then you get put in a factory where you can't understand the job or instructions, and someone's preaching to you through a speaker but of course it makes no sense at all. Every so often they slip a little English in, not enough to make sense but to gove the impression of what the job entails. But you never quite get it.
So then you go to sleep and start dreaming with bits of Greek slipped in as it's now all around you. Of course in the dream a little seems to make sense, but when you wake up it's all gone and all you understand the boss shouting at you is 'low carbon economy'. The next step is to ring up one of the clairvoyants who advertise, and see if they can see into the problem. One says they have your spirit guide and you should change your shoes as your footprint is too big. You give her the sack on the spot and try something new.
You then go to the cinema to watch the latest low carbon film, it's on a black screen, some kind of symbolism, but it's in bloody Greek again and because it's in black and white the images keep fading in and out on the black screen. More symbolism of course but only the gods can understand it, well the Greek gods anyway. Alcohol could be the key, so try and get drunk, previously setting the intention for a low carbon hangover. Alka Seltzer is banned there as it produces too much CO2 so another dead end. In the end Al Gore sells you his new bible, which is the bible of world carbon neutrality. In the beginning was the word. Money. Money can be made of paper so if you burn it it releases CO2, so don't burn money, give it to him. Then your industry will be low carbon and they all live happily ever after.
Do you understand it now? No? Me neither.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Bollocks on Friday
Another week of freedom, which is good. My post reflected this exactly as for the first time since having my own place I didn't have any for 3 days. This was the same as life in general as most post is bad, but a little is good, and if you get none you have nothing.
So the nothing continues, I've emailed Christine, the ex from long ago, another ex who replied after years, another hasn't called back after giving me her number and only having a few minutes to talk. I added to the list by emailing Will Self at last after finding a contact, someone from Big Brother and someone's sister from school. That's a perfect 6/6, and it's not that always happens, but instead either most reply or don't. Always in bunches. Search me how.
So what have I done with the freedom? Two days taking more or less every nice road in NW11, followed by Pinner and Kentish Town. One almost girlfriend visited telling me should she actually dump her boyfriend she wants to dump I'll be next. After a 7 week holiday. Could be worse. The thing about my 'after 40' rule is that if someone has a couple of really good qualities I overlook the others, so rather than an ordinary and uninteresting type I get those with all sorts of major problems and enough good qualities to live with them. Like me I suppose except many women say I haven't got the good ones.
I've had more accounts to do, no other work and that was more or less it.
So with a clear day ahead I just manage to think of enough to do with each one, and had a couple of people who wanted/needed to see me as well which made a lot of difference. There are always elements we don't mention on the blog, in my case I don't want to put people off reading, but when I get rude comments I reckon if they knew why things were a certain way they'd leave off. I've had a selection of health problems that slowed me down for years, and although they are lifting you take some time to get over them, if you ever do. Without the camera I'd have had no reason to go out besides the park when it's sunny, as why the hell go to Kentish Town on your own after Pinner just for the hell of it? I don't go to the shops or anything, I don't need anything there and they don't have anything I can't get round here.
So more empty days lie ahead, indefinitely, like shadows defined not by the presence of good but the relative absence of bad. Like everything in my life this should be a phase but what the next one is could be up or down. Don't wish for change when nothing's wrong as destruction is always easier than creation. I can understand why I used to watch the news in case any predicted or unpredicted crisis ever happened, and basically they haven't and even when they do they only affect the people in the immediate vicinity (eg Iraq) and not us in London. Except being bombed which wasn't on my list of possible excitement. Life is bog standard and normal most if not all the time, I do have some evidence of psychic power, albeit of little practical use, and the only other action has been in the form of females and meeting the odd celebrity. Now I want to be the celebrity the next step in my career needs to happen to allow that, which is basically on the edge.
The lower part of my mind still pops up sometimes imagining something will suddenly happen to improve everything, but we are given such mental weaknesses only to overcome rather than use, which is why I'm not religious, which is just a larger version of the same thing.
There are definite patterns in life, but no happy endings.
So the nothing continues, I've emailed Christine, the ex from long ago, another ex who replied after years, another hasn't called back after giving me her number and only having a few minutes to talk. I added to the list by emailing Will Self at last after finding a contact, someone from Big Brother and someone's sister from school. That's a perfect 6/6, and it's not that always happens, but instead either most reply or don't. Always in bunches. Search me how.
So what have I done with the freedom? Two days taking more or less every nice road in NW11, followed by Pinner and Kentish Town. One almost girlfriend visited telling me should she actually dump her boyfriend she wants to dump I'll be next. After a 7 week holiday. Could be worse. The thing about my 'after 40' rule is that if someone has a couple of really good qualities I overlook the others, so rather than an ordinary and uninteresting type I get those with all sorts of major problems and enough good qualities to live with them. Like me I suppose except many women say I haven't got the good ones.
I've had more accounts to do, no other work and that was more or less it.
So with a clear day ahead I just manage to think of enough to do with each one, and had a couple of people who wanted/needed to see me as well which made a lot of difference. There are always elements we don't mention on the blog, in my case I don't want to put people off reading, but when I get rude comments I reckon if they knew why things were a certain way they'd leave off. I've had a selection of health problems that slowed me down for years, and although they are lifting you take some time to get over them, if you ever do. Without the camera I'd have had no reason to go out besides the park when it's sunny, as why the hell go to Kentish Town on your own after Pinner just for the hell of it? I don't go to the shops or anything, I don't need anything there and they don't have anything I can't get round here.
So more empty days lie ahead, indefinitely, like shadows defined not by the presence of good but the relative absence of bad. Like everything in my life this should be a phase but what the next one is could be up or down. Don't wish for change when nothing's wrong as destruction is always easier than creation. I can understand why I used to watch the news in case any predicted or unpredicted crisis ever happened, and basically they haven't and even when they do they only affect the people in the immediate vicinity (eg Iraq) and not us in London. Except being bombed which wasn't on my list of possible excitement. Life is bog standard and normal most if not all the time, I do have some evidence of psychic power, albeit of little practical use, and the only other action has been in the form of females and meeting the odd celebrity. Now I want to be the celebrity the next step in my career needs to happen to allow that, which is basically on the edge.
The lower part of my mind still pops up sometimes imagining something will suddenly happen to improve everything, but we are given such mental weaknesses only to overcome rather than use, which is why I'm not religious, which is just a larger version of the same thing.
There are definite patterns in life, but no happy endings.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
It's Christmas! Can I swear?
Bollocks I can... Yes, the time has arrived, and not wanting to be yet another depressing message about spending Christmas alone I'll leave it at that. It's only just past midnight, and if dry and still light am planning to be possibly the only street photographer in action later on hopefully in the NW6 area. I am seeing my family later but it's a usual day so far.
I've already mentioned everything possibly ahead beyond today, and the last few days have only been occupied playing and writing quizzes online as well as missing a gym session as they closed very early and apparently didn't play a weekly football prediction game last week I was doing very well in till then. Tiny things but that's all I have at the moment. I've also lost a file which was literally next to the computer and involved about 12 pages printed off the internet I don't want to do again. So I'll spend a little more time looking for it although there was no chance it could be anywhere I can't see right now.
It's not new year yet but just looking at 2007 it has had its moments. Two more TV programmes in the can and one woman just crossed my pass mark with. I won't go into details with but you can work it out. Off the top of my head I can't think of much else beyond the usual, I took a couple of thousand photos, got the new video camera and produced some more albums. Average amount of work (always is overall although it has come in bunches for as long as I remember), and don't think I've seen anyone or been anywhere special, but also realised I don't have to. It's the people we know and see the whole time that count and if they're not there that's when life changes. Mine have drifted away gradually since 1981 and am now down to very few but know they come and go as they choose and not as I choose.
I may even go to bed early tonight, I've been online most of the day and really haven't got much else to do here. Too late for TV even if there was anything. All we need in life is someone to talk to at home and otherwise we are bound to run out of occupations. There really is only so much you can do at home and besides my photos the lack of friends nowadays has made going out pretty limited as well. So that is 2007, and no amount of therapy and meditation, let alone all this law of attraction pony is going to change that. Some things are truly out of our hands and I am unable to do a thing more to change it.
I've already mentioned everything possibly ahead beyond today, and the last few days have only been occupied playing and writing quizzes online as well as missing a gym session as they closed very early and apparently didn't play a weekly football prediction game last week I was doing very well in till then. Tiny things but that's all I have at the moment. I've also lost a file which was literally next to the computer and involved about 12 pages printed off the internet I don't want to do again. So I'll spend a little more time looking for it although there was no chance it could be anywhere I can't see right now.
It's not new year yet but just looking at 2007 it has had its moments. Two more TV programmes in the can and one woman just crossed my pass mark with. I won't go into details with but you can work it out. Off the top of my head I can't think of much else beyond the usual, I took a couple of thousand photos, got the new video camera and produced some more albums. Average amount of work (always is overall although it has come in bunches for as long as I remember), and don't think I've seen anyone or been anywhere special, but also realised I don't have to. It's the people we know and see the whole time that count and if they're not there that's when life changes. Mine have drifted away gradually since 1981 and am now down to very few but know they come and go as they choose and not as I choose.
I may even go to bed early tonight, I've been online most of the day and really haven't got much else to do here. Too late for TV even if there was anything. All we need in life is someone to talk to at home and otherwise we are bound to run out of occupations. There really is only so much you can do at home and besides my photos the lack of friends nowadays has made going out pretty limited as well. So that is 2007, and no amount of therapy and meditation, let alone all this law of attraction pony is going to change that. Some things are truly out of our hands and I am unable to do a thing more to change it.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Time on my hands
Time and little else. A little mucus maybe but I wouldn't want to share that. Oh, I just did... Free until anything catches me tomorrow. Accounts done besides one adjustment I needed permission for but I was left on my own so has to wait. Not a pretty sight, having found the figures from the office files differed from my own by so much they could have been from a different company. One done on paper the old way (accurate) and mine calculated on a computer. Caused a shock all round when I announced the final figure but it was apparently accurate. Tired but free and with the freedom I arrive here again.
I just called the radio asking about mobile phone TV as I'll be on it soon and wanted to know if anyone watched it, but besides the presenter who has the ability to no one has called.
I would see what crap's on TV but once I call the radio I need to listen in case I miss a reply to my call. Some do but like the internet it's totally random. I once called asking if it was legal would people still steal and it kept calls on for a couple of hours about it, my record. I posted it on the internet and no one gave a damn. It's not the subject but the audience a lot of the time, like here as well.
It's good to have a bit of space anyway, it has been hectic on and off recently and it's nice to have a bit of time to my own devices for a change recently. Hard to report any more, only been a day since I last came in and besides the fairly unfortunate accounts episode the rest was as every other Tuesday, as much of my life is to a rota. It suits us all as the few of us left in the family (4 more or less) are all alone so have regular weekly visits each way to fill some of the time. They are all retired and life retired me before time so I am in a similar position.
I'm a bit disappointed how all the mainstream have dismissed the programme on the global warming swindle. Luckily a few people I know who weren't sure were convinced by it, but we need more and more before the laws take over and run our lives by the threat of carbon dioxide. It cost an arm and a leg to travel already and they're adding a lot more now on those grounds. Bastards. I keep going and find more to discredit the position regularly. Each time I present it to a believer they dismiss it and they are sold whatever the lack of decent evidence. Why anyone should be scared of warmer weather beats me actually, a total irrational phobia and with fossil fuel fast running out any help we can get from the sun would surely be an advantage. I really want it to be real but sadly it's a con to steal our money as always, and the sheep are all bleating like the thick unimaginative animals they are. If it was real we should leave it alone anyway, we can't control the weather! You can't make it rain or much else, least of all change the whole world climate. I suppose if all industry switched to CFC production and sprayed it for a year or so it may work but although that may even improve our weather they are hardly going to. But a little extra CO2, may as well tax people for pissing in the sea as that's the equivalent effect it has on sea level. If they got everyone to the coast to piss in the sea at once I doubt that would even make any difference. But it would make a good film.
I will stop while I'm behind. I know my place.
I just called the radio asking about mobile phone TV as I'll be on it soon and wanted to know if anyone watched it, but besides the presenter who has the ability to no one has called.
I would see what crap's on TV but once I call the radio I need to listen in case I miss a reply to my call. Some do but like the internet it's totally random. I once called asking if it was legal would people still steal and it kept calls on for a couple of hours about it, my record. I posted it on the internet and no one gave a damn. It's not the subject but the audience a lot of the time, like here as well.
It's good to have a bit of space anyway, it has been hectic on and off recently and it's nice to have a bit of time to my own devices for a change recently. Hard to report any more, only been a day since I last came in and besides the fairly unfortunate accounts episode the rest was as every other Tuesday, as much of my life is to a rota. It suits us all as the few of us left in the family (4 more or less) are all alone so have regular weekly visits each way to fill some of the time. They are all retired and life retired me before time so I am in a similar position.
I'm a bit disappointed how all the mainstream have dismissed the programme on the global warming swindle. Luckily a few people I know who weren't sure were convinced by it, but we need more and more before the laws take over and run our lives by the threat of carbon dioxide. It cost an arm and a leg to travel already and they're adding a lot more now on those grounds. Bastards. I keep going and find more to discredit the position regularly. Each time I present it to a believer they dismiss it and they are sold whatever the lack of decent evidence. Why anyone should be scared of warmer weather beats me actually, a total irrational phobia and with fossil fuel fast running out any help we can get from the sun would surely be an advantage. I really want it to be real but sadly it's a con to steal our money as always, and the sheep are all bleating like the thick unimaginative animals they are. If it was real we should leave it alone anyway, we can't control the weather! You can't make it rain or much else, least of all change the whole world climate. I suppose if all industry switched to CFC production and sprayed it for a year or so it may work but although that may even improve our weather they are hardly going to. But a little extra CO2, may as well tax people for pissing in the sea as that's the equivalent effect it has on sea level. If they got everyone to the coast to piss in the sea at once I doubt that would even make any difference. But it would make a good film.
I will stop while I'm behind. I know my place.
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