Another week 11/2010

Well I've got there (Worplesdon that is) in the end. My timetable is a day behind but unchanged otherwise. The three locations turned up a wooden council sign with a new one stapled on top as the paint had worn off, some hideous copies of old signs and a pair of 'no access' signs which looked right but weren't on poles so may not be nationally issued. But I covered them all in around an hour before the return. No word on the two articles but as I kept them waiting almost a year can't really moan. Besides the inevitable visit from the ex it's just a list of little jobs- car MOT, eye test (I will, honestly!) and camera repairs at Brent Cross (south, the civilised bit). I've had little or no spiritual events for a short while, although I don't believe the influence can go sometimes it seems we are left to sort things out ourselves maybe to see we don't always need outside guidance to win anything. I did win another online quiz today which doesn't often happen so one positive addition although it doesn't actually get me anything besides an entry on my profile and one more towards the 100 wins badge (at 30 though so may be a tough one).

The rule is when the guidance appears to go is look for it, so learning how to improve things myself seems the best reason- I also got an extra session in the gym today as it was on the way back from Surrey so two birds with one stone. And the rotten roof at my grandma's didn't put off the buyers as instead of making their offer that day they withdrew it a few days later so any new visitor will be promised (or receive depending on our progress) a brand new dormer window roof. I've called the radio regularly again for some weeks, it only depends on the subject but climate and related issues have been popular and that's my area. But nothing's wrong and that's the best place to start from. Looking for the positive (rule 2) tells me tomorrow I'm free all day before the visitor, can get at least one shop done as it gets dark too early to bother looking for distant photo trips, and complete the tidying this week although the spare room is ready for use now if needed. And I have hours of videos if it rains. If I'm bored and it's dry I will then visit my grandparent's grave to clean it (the journey takes many times longer than the task) although will have to struggle to get any new photos around there as it's quite a regular journey over the years one way or another.

So the week is free again, I've done a couple of hours work each week the last month or so so paying the basic bills if nothing else and not shrinking too much in the bank. It does seem when one area to collect has run out another opened sooner or later, and I include things I produce as collect items on the CV if I'm on TV or published. I'm still managing to meditate on and off, and can only assume I'd be even worse if I didn't... The anxiety is not good and am still very tired after an hour or two out. That's a physical problem, is improving but not gone yet. It's only really restricting my travel now and having covered most of Britain already over the years (although before digital cameras so was very selective in the photography) as well as a few continents one way or another can hardly complain now as I'm far happier locally where I know. If there was a little community or a few more friends that would complete the job but that is another project.

The middle of the week/mittelschmerz

What indeed? Looking back over the times since it was impossible to see events in any other way than guidance, as the complex situation repeated itself about four times so far in case anyone thought it was a coincidence the first time. Road signs acting as signs of a greater force is a pretty direct method as well. Now once the guidance works for the good (after a very rough up and down 49 years, with more downs than ups) then maybe I needed the earlier life to become prepared for the next? And if it works to provide me with old road signs then why not all the other things I'd been missing till now? I will see.

This week is the first not seeing my grandma two evenings a week although friends use that as a reason I never see them nowadays. Well they are here now and she isn't so I put my money in the right place didn't I. I can catch up with them but never look back and get any days back I'd missed had I not gone there so often. If any vacuum is filled then I'll see how this one is, I'm working a bit the next two days to fill that space and may waste money seeing Ray Davies (Kinks) over the weekend as I don't intend to stay for more than a few numbers as I can't stick crowds. Except football crowds which somehow is so familiar I have become immune thank goodness. The friendlies start soon, I have the timetable and hope to do one or two now, after five or more in some years. You can only watch Reading and Charlton so many times without the novelty wearing off. Maybe Dagenham and Redbridge (one team that is) or even West Ham (away) again if I can get in to that one.

Having seen a long list online of people who have met celebrities realise anyone living in towns and cities can't avoid bumping into them sometimes so even meeting Elvis (or the late Michael Jackson as people are now recounting 15 minutes since it was announced) is not that unusual as they travelled all over, like the Queen I bumped into although didn't talk to her as she was in her car. So invert the pyramid and if any celebrity connections continue it would be my aim to be it rather than the other way round. Celebrity is cheaper and easier than it was but still a relative handful of people. I've been ploughing and sowing that field since I started drama classes at 14 and will keep on in case it happens. That may also pay the bills and provide the women and friends who have dropped off in the last few years.

Looking ahead (notice the change of colour for the different topic) I must let each day unfold as it comes. I can't control that much, and having been sent a slew of old signs on Monday just when everything had gone too quiet shows how that works. The nearby council said they'd paint the sign but I won't give them the location unless they tell me they won't just take it out instead as many would do. Better a mess than nothing. The one day I was free this week was the one the library was closed but that will wait. And if I see Ray Davies on Saturday that's another for the collection. A hero of old there I never thought I'd see perform. Being a mile from where he lived I can't really see me getting near the place but will see. Well that's it for now, I expect most blogs for the next few days will be about Michael Jackson but Elvis dying was the lowest point for me and that can never happen again.

It must be guided

How's this? I was wondering after a week far more like my previous life whether it meant the guidance had gone, so within a few days I read in a magazine that once we know there is guidance we have to trust it even when we think it's gone. How much more of an answer could I have had than that?

I can't remember what I mentioned last time, but must have been past the sign painting as that was on Saturday. Despite our fercuckter government committee of 1963 choosing the cheap and nasty Euro-symbols to lick the Froggie's arses in preparation to join their gambling club, I mean Common Market, the library manager told me that by adding the words 'No Entry' to the previously empty sign should actually deter more people from driving in the exit. No shit Sherlock... That Mr Worboys who did the same to our signs as Al Gore did for honesty should be sent to suffer a Greek myth style journey of our A roads trying to follow his shite signs for eternity. Especially those councils felt obliged to remove but were never replaced just when you need one. The guy was the word I'd rather not use but we all know. Enough said.

For those (I expect they exist) who feel sorry for me from the drought of females I did have a visitor today who served that particular requirement for some time ahead. If I had nothing else in life decent sex (or even average) would put a smile on my face above anything else. OK, it may have been average but I made up in quantity any other shortcomings. I think it's mainly women who love going into details (they are wired via the heart rather than the eye like men) and I normally only mention it when it hasn't happened, but this was after such a long time I didn't want anyone thinking I was still stuck for any.

Besides that I'm pretty well free, I have what would be called work/chores the next couple of days, and a possible newspaper article about painting the sign if they think it's worthy of one. It'll be about time as I really want this to have a higher profile. And if it raises mine that won't be bad either. I was reporting on a London forum recently about it and someone pointed me to a thread on a road website with all the old sign details and I said I know, I wrote it. The message is slowly being got. I'm also following another teacher, JC Mac, who says basically once you look for enlightenment you ought to get it as the teaching erodes the ego until there's not enough of it left to survive. I'm having a phone session with him soon as well so that should be interesting. I almost feel I've understood so much about what enlightenment is and how you get there I should be on the edge by now as I learn more and more about it as it's put out there, and can see pretty well what it is and how you get to it now.
Despite having no prior events which turn it from a theory to an experience I feel that I must have created a weight that is becoming too heavy to stay put and will soon have to start rolling away. And unlike ten years ago there are hundreds of newly enlightened teachers turning up, implying whatever was holding it back in the 90s when I started learning has now started to free up and the efforts are getting paid off.

As far as the new woman is concerned I've decided to pursue that myself and pay another visit, paying close attention to the ring finger situation. Getting her boss involved is not a good idea so will keep it between me and myself. She seemed like she might be a bit boring but will give her a chance just in case. The old test is whether they laugh at my bottom jokes, a very basic but successful method as it always seems to work. I just can't see her doing that somehow but if I can take her out and then get her into bed I won't worry about other details as she is pretty stunning in her own way and well worth a try if single. She needn't be marriage material for that really. I just wish someone was.

Tomorrow is also the first time I've cared about the European election (like voting for TB or cancer) simply because the UK Independence party may do well. The only commonsense in Britain I know few others share it (we wouldn't have anyone mentioning carbon emissions otherwise by now) but a good test to see how many do. Being in the EU is so fucking obviously doomed to disaster only crookery could get us in (Heath admitted lying about its powers, as I already knew and told everyone at the time). Who would join a club that cost them £40 million and got nothing for it besides losing the power to make its own laws?
Big Brother also starts, another few months of hypnotic viewing again. I almost feel like an addict now as I can't get through each day without an hour minimum on TV, and far more when live streaming. I'd love a person or two living with me as well but would still watch them as I'm nosy and find watching people fascinating.

So if guided (as in somewhere worth going to, not off a cliff) I ought to be getting more and more as time goes on. Up till now the permanent things I've got have been useful in business, and only my degree marginally useful otherwise as allows me to speak with far more authority in a world which values education than without. But I know both my own potential and life's and don't want to miss out. I did a little diagram last week that explained my situation, and discovered that besides qualifications, which even that was curtailed by having to drop my master's degree, I've never succeeded in any important area other than the smallest crumbs. No wonder I'm pissed off. Compared to the full set I've only got the leftovers in each category, just the barest amount more in each than having nothing at all. My modern colour (1978-88) train ticket collection is also complete although the proper colour ones before were the decent ones so only second prize there.

So I know exactly what I'm missing. There are then the categories of enlightenment and out of body experiences I haven't got any of at all (how many have?) but would like at least the first for the full set. Women, fame, collections, and any other top level areas have had only the scraps although fame is one hardly anyone gets at all so relatively way ahead of most but not enough to actually be known yet. But that won't get me very far if I died tomorrow would it? So that is where the guidance must be going to as otherwise there's no point in it is there?

Why lies will always win

Firstly today's observation. I have had to conclude the average IQ means most people are so bloody thick they will believe absolutely everything those in authority tell them with no questioning or checking for themselves. And Gordon Brown is either stupid or a crook as he saud he couldn't see the recession coming. If he's telling the truth he's too bloody thick to be running a chain of public conveniences, and if not then he's a liar as well as useless. Who wants either running their country?

And the public who blindly accept the story of global warming depsite Al Gore being shown up to be one of the slimiest crooks since Robert Maxwell and Rupert Murdoch (in my opinion there as he's still alive...) and all the actual evidence being enough to convict the tellers of the story rather than the public for causing it. The nasty intelligent people know enough morons can fall for their crap,bigger and bigger lies over time, and make them religiously follow anything where the data comes from outside agencies rather than directly observable. What a fucking fiasco...

Well (and change colour) back to my life. Besides another birthday this week (shows I am a survivor if nothing else) I found another London borough with plenty of old signs, although the similar neighbour just decided in November to get rid of theirs and only found two left when I got to them. When I'm not collecting something I'm lost and aimless (sex counts as well mind you) and anything rare and historical get my interest unlike most women I've come across who like the last one can't see why we do it. Maybe because we can't have babies to absorb all our attention? Who knows.
So I got 6 more new photos yesterday, and not sure what else lies ahead but know I've cracked the big one as Lewisham is the equivalent to getting to The Falklands from this side of London and dual carriageways stop at the Thames. Even the main roads stop every mile or so and go into a one way system in shopping centre, like everywhere else did in the 60s. I suppose that design lends itself to keeping the corresponding signs of the era so can't really complain, but it was a predictable journey from hell.

Few plans left now, one known trip in the week and people over for my annual birthday visit at the weekend and the rest will happen as it does. I also can't understand either of the newspapers who treated my sign story the way Charles treated Diana. ie on and off. I hope the editor's wives treat them the same way now so they can be on the receiving end. Luckily my efforts do not stop and if I don't get newspapers to raise the profile I still raise it myself directly for those in power prepared to listen. Few people seem to want to do a job like this fully. When I found the old train tickets were being abolished I went all over the UK to get them, and on a small scale the same with the signs. I also found a company to print the old tickets and got Vauxhall Motors to use them on their annual Luton-Brighton trip, thus reviving a design lost 11 years earlier by my own efforts. I am trying the same now with the signs as designs change over time, not improve. They can't improve as designs are perceptions, not absolutes. So rather than change everything they should always leave some old examples unless actually dangerous (you've heard about the man eating tickets,surely?).

I hope the week ahead is less boring than it looks, I've done a couple of hundred miles last week and made a reasonable profit, and however good money in the bank is we need something to add to it somehow.

Why I don't trust politicians

Before I update the week I'll just explain how I learnt the truth about politicians. In the 70s, before I drove, the government decided to create bus lanes. What a good idea, I thought, as an innocent teenager, making little roads for buses to keep the traffic clear.

Well fuck me, as soon as they arrived there were no little roads, they stole the lanes from existing ones.

That was the most important lesson I learnt about authority in my life. Politicians are not interested in us, and just make empty gestures that vary like the weather. There is no free lunch, they give away nothing and if you want more, earn it yourself.

Right, back to the present. My system of colouring in a road map to see the roads I've checked for old signs has worked perfectly. Two last week and one this week none of which had been recorded online (or I'd have known them already). Plenty more to cover now I know so a few weeks of time taken care of. Nothing else besides an old friend returned, although being female and not attracted to me was wearing out her welcome and no mixed friendship works when one wants more (about 99% then). But we get on well if nothing else. Both newspapers have let themselves down like a child filling their pants. They never used my interviews and when I sent them updates didn't even reply. I did post on their local forum they hadn't done anything after a couple of weeks but didn't name anyone. Actually I may as well now as it's too late to wreck that cause. There are many more local papers so I'll tell them now.

I've covered a couple of hundred miles this week, but when I collected train tickets I could do that in a day. I don't need to go nearly as far as that took me as one old sign is as good as another, so no need to go to Sissinghurst, Riverhead, Harlow and other hard to get places in the Home Counties let alone beyond. With tickets every station had them so when I got none in one I went to the next until I had a bagful. Signs are very rare and miles apart so can't cover many per trip. And the woman who wondered why I collect signs, you either collect or you don't and I do. The fact I also preserve history (all used train tickets were pulped to make new ones, so every one I have was saved from destruction). The same goes for old signs so I am doing the same, plus working on the authorities to try and stop them from going.

Meanwhile Blogspot threw another eppy last week and cleared the blogs I was following so it was not me but them. I'm having trouble adding any at all now so will be added when it behaves. That's about it but I've been driving nonstop this week and besides the new direction sign got three (including a modern copy) No Through Road signs in as many days despite being as rare as hen's teeth, various old speed limits and an almost unique 'NO WAITING' red circle which I barely even remember. Doing any job properly (and having the time to do it) is what gets people noticed, and few people seem to have the enthusiasm to do that.

Life as a geek

It has gone very quiet. Whether or not my photo ideas are drying up the next project is clearing the house up, which can't be a bad thing. The last two weeks were almost exactly as planned, which meant I kept myself busy, and despite having no awful things to do ahead running out of material still makes things potentially pretty boring. I have discovered not only does my main website have a number of unique internet entries, but now everyone mentioned there has followed them up and I now know the details of Armaretta cars, made in America from 1985-8, and the one I saw apparently only one of 30.

I will have to see. So far there's pretty much a free week ahead, and I have a few little ideas to fill it as usual. Especially as the weather seems to have improved. I've also discovered TV on demand is now up and running, but only available to Sky subscribers or 3G phones (not 3 ones though) for £5 a month, and the full schedules aren't published. My 3rd programme is due but not out yet, and despite not being a Sky subscriber I won't be able to see it any other way besides online with a password, assuming they let me have one (having given up half a day for free for them). Why it is people on TV either get paid a fortune or nothing is a bit strange but they probably cover the huge salaries for the stars by paying the wanabees sod all. At least they didn't want me to pay to appear.

When there's little happening all the minor jobs become more noticed. Haircuts, car washes, gardening etc. Like any other retired geriatric except it can happen at any age when forced on you by life. No one wants to have a totally empty life but when left alone with nothing but a TV radio and computer there's not much else worth doing, and whatever else I do one of them is usually going at the same time. And if I go out besides family there are few if any friends left to visit, and I either piss around local shops as we all have to or go to the park if I'm not taking photos. Or I go there and take the camera with me. One thing fame or a media career would do is break this monotony, I could write and do interviews and get paid as well. As well as meeting people. The more photo albums I get in the area will be the next step so it keeps creeping ahead. The Discovery Kids channel which was dumped through their own lack of effort is going online, but currently although free only has 4 programmes on it. Hardly the same is it? If they intend to expand they may put mine on so everyone I know can see it online. I expect I'll end up doing more UFO programmes as there aren't many other people in the country doing what I do so a fairly captive audience.

I may be linking the blog to another site soon as they seem to have got all the activity we lost here, although besides losing the profile interest links is still the best one from the ones available. I suspect losing the interest links was the last nail in the coffin as unless you bookmark other blogs you can no longer search others in blogger which makes it impossible to find any new ones. Not that anyone adds any more but that'll stop any expansion. I sometimes wonder if anyone else is stuck in my sort of situation. Some overlap but I don't remember anyone with all the circumstances, especially once you include my minimal family size. OK, I'm not an orphan but realised the main reason I didn't fit in with peer groups for 25 years was because I spent most of my time with my parents who had nothing in common with them. And if not my parents then alone as they worked full time and my mother was gone by the time I was 21 anyway. I had to guess how to fit in as I knew people were impressed by certain clothes and attitudes but had no idea what they were. The only time I really did was with the hippies, but at 7 or 8 was too young to really join in although it felt absolutely right for me. Being like that in the 80s doesn't really work in Thatcher's Britain and despising modern fashions and the sheep who followed them meant I never fitted in even with my close friends. I was always a novelty, a freak show who they watched for entertainment as much as seeing for company, and I played up to it. I still do really, although I want to make that image one Woody Allen uses in his films and makes a career from it. I do exagerrate certain things of course simply as I can see people remember it. Clive Bull, who I've called on LBC for 20 years, has now pigeonholed me as the class A geek, so uses me to ask about the internet, collecting and public transport as he knows I can always talk about it. I have profited from pushing the image as at least it's a niche I happily fit into. Of course I prefer sex to car number plates but I can go outside and spot plates all day (and have, believe me) but not have sex. So it seems I'm more into my hobbies but without a girlfriend or wife there's nothing else left to do. But it's not all there is, just all there is to do. That's totally different.