Ground to a halt?

Not much inspiration, I've been watching twitter to see the two standard reactions to the US election results on climate change, 'The first ever party to deny climate change!!!'. Yes, so fucking what? Meanwhile the rest are bleating on and on about imaginary man made disasters present and future bravely pressing on as if nothing's changed. What a poor bunch of lost souls they truly are.

I had to wait for my trip out to see the end of the British hopes in Formula 1 today, as soon as Lewis Hamilton started crashing that was him out, plus Jenson Button crept further and further behind during the season. Despite forecasts of rain I should make it tomorrow. One problem when you do achieve something is you expect it to keep happening. So when you get days when little or nothing happens you feel let down, plus wanting to read the end before you've got past the second chapter in case something decent may turn out is an automatic reaction when something begins with potential. That's short term like approval for my articles, and long term for the US climate investigations. Not that I believe they can find anything but very nasty dirt as that's all there is. George Soros, after legally crashing the pound and costing Britain billions in the 80s is now out to do it again worldwide, urging the UN on to create a world state in order to tax it out of existence, presumably getting a cut for his effort. And I was thinking Al Gore was behind this but clearly not working for his own purposes. Nasty nasty stuff indeed.

I'm quite happy to have free time ahead still, even if I do nothing (the dark afternoons allow little else) I won't have had too much stress which nowadays is a bonus in itself. Hopefully that will allow for the eye test and sort out the car service soon after. I hope for more and if I get any decent signs tomorrow will be a good start to the week. Where is the guidance now I wonder?

A quiet week

The freedom continues at least, and someone discovered an old sign on the main road through Hampton I'd passed hundreds of times but hadn't noticed, and when I got there there was another on the back pointing an arrow the other way, so got the matching pair. One I didn't even remember, to public library. Not much else since, except on the library theme I'm taking the old sign book there to see if they'll buy one. Besides a booking and the usual clearing grandma's house this week there are no plans, my two trips to Herts last week did no more than eliminate the area from my enquiries but kept me occupied.

I'm working my way through the Celestine Prophecy, which eerily reflects my own life exactly up to the 4th of 9 insights. Besides seeing auras I haven't reached the practical part, but how to read the way things are. Connecting to a mysterious energy is the key, and one I already suspected, so could be interesting. I've also done a pile of global warming research, and basically if the media gave equal exposure to all the data not one sane person could believe in the whole crock. Ann Widdecombe, who I've admired for a while, just came out as an independent by putting down her esteemed and crooked leader's total acceptance of all the shite Al Gore's worldwide conspiracy feeds him. Well he's obviously getting a piece himself isn't he woman.

So little more analysis or speculation (would you use a speculum?), just time and space. It's a relief finding more signs as I get hooked on collecting and until I complete the list look before I do most other things. It would be nice if I'd missed something and it would turn up just when I needed it (as well as the signs) but the media and women in general have all turned their back on me, as any potential employers. I only keep looking for more as I've had a lot and lost it so know exactly what I'm missing. Fame would be a bonus and no doubt cover the financial and social side so do a lot by itself. And I will continue to teach wherever I see a need as I get the role I have now. There is a gap and I do fill it. I wish there were a few more available besides that sort...

Space ahead of me

Space, the final frontier. I must use it well but all has so far been provided to me rather than chasing anything. I hope it continues. Meanwhile I have a few more items in the arsenal for enlightenment, Jackie O'Keeffe has shown me in a way it's impossible to contradict, if you grow up and no one ever tells you you are a person you'll think you are nothing (what you see looking ahead), a body with parts that come and go (as you see it) and no actual difference between what the space ahead contains and you. That is our direct experience, but with conditioning we learn something else. Then someone Like Jac comes along and tells us we were right originally and we have to deprogramme that just as she has. Ditto with time. We actually see things happening now. Nothing more, ever. Nothing ever happened a few minutes ago or tomorrow, although we retain a memory of the past nothing happens there. And there can be no future as once we reach tomorrow it's now again. But again if we weren't told about calendars we'd just assume everything happened now, as it of course does. And finally who we are is just what we are now. Nothing we did in the past determines who we are now, and put all three together I am really a space containing the computer and room surrounding it, my identity is an empty awareness and I only exist now.

That is my direct experience and yours, and by experiencing your own identity as that before or without the conditioning that is meant to be how we should be, given everyone who says they are feel a lot better than before. It covers all the healing and therapy in one go along with all the drug induced attempts to get to the same place we all ultimately are. All the search for pleasure is ultimately for enlightenment, the wish behind the wish is for more, until that is the final one left. I picked this up long ago although all work to get it has been on a purely mind level, which may only partly serve to break down the mind that stops me experiencing my true being now. I have met plenty of these teachers and none seem to be dishonest and not many are very rich from it, quite the opposite.
I am also checking with my friend who now lives in India if he knows her as they both lived in the same town for some time.

So I have almost nothing known ahead. There are the usual emails for work and road signs I'm waiting on replies for (some fucking chance really) although one magazine just said they'll have a look at my work next year when they need some so not all zeros. The gardening and eye tests will be done, and tidying the house since a search for a (still absent) computer cable discovered my photos and started digging the house up for more. So if all I do is go out on my bike and to the local parks and work in the house it'll be something, although it would be nice for a little more. All the last events happened outside any of my control (normal) but were good (new experience) so have a track record to follow. The last few days were nothing special besides one new possible sign making opportunity, but more of a test for my trust than anything else.

My 4th TV programme has been fully distributed by me now, and as I've had a new client now from one of them shows it does work eventually however few people see it in the UK. That area is now complete but besides a comment the journalist wants to add to my national paper interview her editor hasn't used, there is nothing new on the system. I was not designed to be patient, if I'm asked or required to do something I do it first then fanny around. It can be done and is, but most people would rather do anything than something quick that is best out of the way. So as I can deliver instant service I expect it, well prefer it as well. There isn't always much to do when you're waiting. I'm currently viewing every road on Streetview in the London area (only as they haven't done anywhere else within 50 miles) in case I find more old signs, as they are going too fast to wait. I have found two so far I'd never have otherwise so does happen, and is free unlike the visits I still make in Surrey where they haven't covered much of.

I missed the red triangle sign in perfect condition off my old road till about 2005 but with great patience found another this month (albeit with a bit missing), and missing a couple of local direction signs motivated me to drive a lot further to never miss another. The furthest I've been is along the Sussex border where Surrey have kept the old signs on their A roads (23 I think), Aldershot, but only Hertford in the other direction as that was the last one I could find before Harlow (no thanks). Others are much further and beyond the call of duty. I think I've got more or les every type for the directions now and a small selection of the others, many very rare indeed. And with the red triangle the set is complete now but all new ones are welcome as each direction sign is unique and there were plenty of other generics I haven't got. Dual Carriageway, Keep Left, all other red triangles besides the few I've got (missing the triangle or circle besides one), No Entry (illegal so very unlikely), and Halt (about two in the whole country). Some were so rare I don't even remember them first time round. But the time-effort equation now is almost 1-1 million and only continuing as all done virtually online. Fills the time though and learn every road in vision as well.

More pony and trap

One question that's occurred to me recently is how would other people react in my exact position? It's so easy to throw stones from outside when it's not your problem but being in a situation virtually impossible to alter by any means is going to get to everyone somehow as being in the crap is the same whoever's in it. That's a question up for discussion, I can add no more than present it, but these pages reflect that position.

Today for instance. Complete neutral. A free day from beginning to end and not an idea or person to fill it. I also know why some people go on about mundane details of their life like what washing they did or food they made. There's nothing else. Today was like that and I'm on my way to sounding like I have Alzheimer's at this rate. Have I told you I did the sheets last week? I was going shopping but I went to the park instead. That I do remember. And I got as far as Blackbird Cross and took pictures in the churchyard and found a few very nice paths there I'd never discovered before, tucked in between gravestones and chapels of rest. Here's one example:

If my websites represented the rest of my life I'd have a small empire of products by now. It's so easy to sit here and add to every aspect of my 7 or so personal sites and other forums around, and thank goodness all is read by a few or many people and appreciated by many as they say so (not here any more but they do). As unproductive I am in the real world is how I've transferred my productivity to websites. And I call the radio. All about creativity and exposure. I'm not a celebrity of any sort yet, but working on it. And I know it'll happen as my network of branches grows continually and one more, probably the biggest, is due in a few weeks. Meanwhile I am still obliged to fill the empty time as best I can, and I also mowed the front lawn later today, so people don't walk past and think that's where the plebs must live, for a few weeks anyway. Like having a haircut. And believe me, if I'm suffering from depression at any time at the moment it's for a very good reason. I feared being left alone for half my life and then it happened. As more and more situations happen each would be better when with someone else with you, and I don't. So I talk to my blog, the cat, the phone and radio presenters. But I can't see any and still wonder if anyone else is in the same position or actually cares?