I'm back again. It seems like a phase of little things at the moment, and I just read that it's not our circumstances that make us happy but pure chance in the moments when things allow us to feel as we should, and then teaches us to hold on to that whatever's going on. I will see. I've used the time to check more roads and go to Hampstead Heath and did discover a road with only old speed limits on (12 in all) which wouldn't be much of a big deal as they are all the same, but these were proper raised characters on 8 of them which I'd never seen before. So far the highlight of the week besides being able to read easily again and getting my hair cut (yes, I'm scraping the barrel now).
I will be painting a local sign after offering to do so, hopefully next week. It will be good to be able to read the lettering again. I also made a 3 minute video for Sky News who now accept videos on the case for carbon, as it has never had a fair trial with the climate Nazis. Sky is such crap it can't read one of the commonest video formats so had to put it on Youtube instead and will see what I can do to find a way for them to see it somehow. I'm still getting more teaching videos online, each maybe chipping away a bit more at the false ego until it finally lets go altogether. It seems to work in two stages. Firstly you become aware of yourself as the space rather than the body within it, keep doing that until that becomes who you are. Not yet.
Besides painting the sign I'm not really expecting a lot, someone did find another no through road sign in Clapham (would be my 11th) but one with cats eyes which is very rare. That should be on Sunday if not the following one. Back to the teaching it does seem whatever they teach they can't get people to change very easily whatever they get you to do. Some claim to know it all but we really seem to be made the way we are and besides the stories of success through years of constant effort we tend to revert to normal very quickly whatever insight or magical methods we use. I found environment plus people really did the most for me, and can't get that by choice as I can go anywhere I like but without the right people will be dead. Any effects I've had from meditation last ten minutes if I'm lucky, and each new trick I learn looks good to start with but I'm apparently the same whatever happens, which is our DNA really. I won't give up though just in case as I can't get worse, only get better if I actually get it.
I'm fully aware all my collecting is trying to recreate the 60s as they were the best years of my life. And no road humps, parking meters outside city centres and cars made for appearance rather than political considerations. The music and hippy movement moulded me very early on, and really everything was better made and designed with the technology as it was then. We now have the ability to do so much more but the hardware is cheap and nasty and falls apart very quickly. I don't want to see everything from the 60s I liked go completely. The people die off gradually of course, and when I see places look almost the same as then but the details soon give it away I do wonder why no one else makes the effort to keep some of the past alive as so many people would like it.
Of course I had the security of the family and lived in nice places with good friends around, and besides never getting a decent girlfriend for long and having exams every year till I was 24 life wasn't bad. So basically I see outer circumstances very much driving how I felt, whatever the teachers tell me. If my health is good and I'm not left on my own and given crap work to do then it's a good foundation. Take away each element and I react accordingly. But I continue to try and transcend that as it's the same for all of us and use every event to lead me to enlightenment. But before I'm too old to do much about it please.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Mental illness analysed
It was 955 posts already to the last one, not 916, they've really mounted up. Just get that correction out of the way. I was just reading something that reminded me how much Jewish humour is centred round mental illness. I said that people aren't bipolar, batteries are, but they fixed them when they started adding lithium. That is a typical example. Woody Allen made his millions purely by expressing neurosis, Seinfeld, the new series I love the Big Bang theory taking the mickey out of autistic spectrum disorders, and most of my own jokes since starting school. The world is a threatening place and anyone that sensitive reacts in ways that can only be joked about otherwise we'd all pack it in.
Jews don't get drunk as a rule, if they suffer they either complain or make jokes about it, usually a combination of both. I carry on this tradition and was so interested in mental health I made a profession treating it, as a calling. We are trained to see the funny side of problems so the sufferers can, although I don't laugh or make fart jokes as I would if not working. They do have boundaries. Maybe if I set myself up as the childish humour cure and made cracks about wetting pants, skid marks and opening the window maybe it would distract some people from their problems enough to distance themselves from them. Or maybe not. So I do it here instead. And everywhere else. But technically mental problems are only funny as an observer. If you have them they are no fun at all even when we make fun of ourselves. I'd rather not see crowds as threatening or travelling as a potential for disaster but if I can tell stories about looking for public toilets or queuing for hours to change flights home it can make it sound almost dramatic. In fact these experiences are hell, being stuck in any situation you can't escape is the ultimate driver of severe stress and easier to spend your life avoiding it rather than ever become immune to it, if that was even possible without tablets.
So although we can joke about counting cars and road signs and memorising phone and car numbers the actual reality is besides being able to recall lists from about the age of three, there is no other benefit in having a sharp mind as the rest means we notice every event and feeling and can't turn the reactions down. It also drives genius but in a world generally driven by averageness and mediocraty most people are prepared to put up with almost anything while we few can't bear the slightest discomfort, like the princess and the pea. But while royalty can just about escape the real world we are in the middle of it, and besides turning down 99% of invitations and avoiding half of the areas we live in then we are totally exposed to it all, worms and warts. But take away the heightened awareness and you become a zombie so hard to win. So make jokes about being stuck on the motorway, visiting psychiatrists, side effects of tablets etc but it's the price many of us seem to have to pay for our greater awareness of everything. Each time I read a list of famous sufferers from mental illness I wonder how many actually didn't have it.
So to conclude the story, my friends past and present include (at least) three bipolar, two psychotic depression, three paranoid schizophrenics, two depressives, an epileptic, an anxiety disorder, and probably quite a few more I've lost track of. Some also have none of the above and strangely enough tend to be the ones who disappear while the others are usually happy to hang around. I wonder if anyone else who hasn't actually met their friends in hospital as many do has the same collection or somehow I seem to have been fed these people, even though most had nothing wrong when I met them so can't say I had any part in it. I can't see my anxiety changing as it's no less part of me as my eyes, unless enlightenment is real and happens to me. Now if I became enlightened and kept it then I'd be a real curiosity, although I don't think it's meant to be possible to have both. Yet...
Jews don't get drunk as a rule, if they suffer they either complain or make jokes about it, usually a combination of both. I carry on this tradition and was so interested in mental health I made a profession treating it, as a calling. We are trained to see the funny side of problems so the sufferers can, although I don't laugh or make fart jokes as I would if not working. They do have boundaries. Maybe if I set myself up as the childish humour cure and made cracks about wetting pants, skid marks and opening the window maybe it would distract some people from their problems enough to distance themselves from them. Or maybe not. So I do it here instead. And everywhere else. But technically mental problems are only funny as an observer. If you have them they are no fun at all even when we make fun of ourselves. I'd rather not see crowds as threatening or travelling as a potential for disaster but if I can tell stories about looking for public toilets or queuing for hours to change flights home it can make it sound almost dramatic. In fact these experiences are hell, being stuck in any situation you can't escape is the ultimate driver of severe stress and easier to spend your life avoiding it rather than ever become immune to it, if that was even possible without tablets.
So although we can joke about counting cars and road signs and memorising phone and car numbers the actual reality is besides being able to recall lists from about the age of three, there is no other benefit in having a sharp mind as the rest means we notice every event and feeling and can't turn the reactions down. It also drives genius but in a world generally driven by averageness and mediocraty most people are prepared to put up with almost anything while we few can't bear the slightest discomfort, like the princess and the pea. But while royalty can just about escape the real world we are in the middle of it, and besides turning down 99% of invitations and avoiding half of the areas we live in then we are totally exposed to it all, worms and warts. But take away the heightened awareness and you become a zombie so hard to win. So make jokes about being stuck on the motorway, visiting psychiatrists, side effects of tablets etc but it's the price many of us seem to have to pay for our greater awareness of everything. Each time I read a list of famous sufferers from mental illness I wonder how many actually didn't have it.
So to conclude the story, my friends past and present include (at least) three bipolar, two psychotic depression, three paranoid schizophrenics, two depressives, an epileptic, an anxiety disorder, and probably quite a few more I've lost track of. Some also have none of the above and strangely enough tend to be the ones who disappear while the others are usually happy to hang around. I wonder if anyone else who hasn't actually met their friends in hospital as many do has the same collection or somehow I seem to have been fed these people, even though most had nothing wrong when I met them so can't say I had any part in it. I can't see my anxiety changing as it's no less part of me as my eyes, unless enlightenment is real and happens to me. Now if I became enlightened and kept it then I'd be a real curiosity, although I don't think it's meant to be possible to have both. Yet...
Friday, May 22, 2009
Current ambitions
Bugger me, I just looked back at the last entry and can confirm without checking it's the longest I've written (916 entries I think). No apologies as anyone can stop or come back to it if they want to, and find short entries far more irritating to read. 'I took the bus today and it was ten minutes late'. Yes, so? I've had books and essays rejected for being too short, publishers have minimum pages but not maximum so I think I've proved my point.
Things are OK at the moment, not wonderful but not bad. They have been a lot better, not for long and mainly interrupted first by annual exams (at least) and my mother leaving home, but far far better than now a lot of the time. I've picked up some tricks of course over the years like meditation but I'm little different generally besides older, wiser and more aware of all the hazards in life. The council and media replies are over apparently, and got a big fat zero, but I tried. Oh, one possible magazine for next year so just alive there. I have no plans left and only my new reading glasses and whether UKIP (our anti Europe and global warming party) do well in the forthcoming Euro elections. Of course they should have been limited to the music competition but we voted in and are stuck in the biggest nest of vipers since the last Roman Empire. As David Icke says, be aware of the evil and ignore it. No other way.
No actual plans, I Streetview all London's roads now with fewer and fewer old signs left to discover and nearly all the same ones each time, and covering the places outside as I did before on the roads as I did today. I got the no through road signs 8 and 9 along with a row of old 40 mph which of course are identical to every other. Very diminishing returns. I need one big break now to live again. Any one from:
A decent woman, a national newspaper article or TV appearance, a published book, a psychic power (beyond those I have), a step towards enlightenment and a council actually put in an old sign for me. All possible but not easy.
Getting a woman is easy for 99% of everyone I know so very mystified there, besides being the height of a 14 year old and now the hair of a baby (many start balding and end the same way), I'm pretty OK generally. I have reasonable manners, not at all bossy, spend money on women, and of course have two lines of letters after my name on A4 paper. But women are interested in men for their reasons, not mine. I do know if I make a toilet joke and they laugh the next stop is bed, but I haven't done that for ages. And I've had lots of women, but never the right ones for long enough to matter. There's one I caught up with from school who either posts old photos or is frozen in time, but appears to have all I need including possible availability. But as she's been in America for half her life since school then she may as well be married/dead/gay. One is gay and in Australia (as she was gay), and the rest are married or living so far away they may as well be. But they dumped me once and I won't find it from my past although many have.
The others are mainly career steps, logarithmic as each one is ten times less likely than the last. I'm really at the top level now as once you've got there you can't do better, only more which is easier as you've done it already. I've had three interviews already at that level so only need one to stick. 49 years of preparation so not exactly sudden. The psychic stuff is following my development, again the next levels are probably 100 times higher than existing but know many are possible if not all. I'm working on them as well.
I will otherwise just carry on alone and filling time till I die, which misses out the family life most people have and can see myself ending up like Barry George (the one who didn't kill Jill Dando) who is the same age and apparent social status of me. Besides having an IQ almost 100 points higher than him our lives are very similar. Loners living a fantasy world and being isolated from mainstream society despite living in London. No community to keep us busy like in small town life. And the only reason I haven't retried for Mensa now they've changed their rules is I'm scared I can't manage it any more. My mind flowed freely at 11 and has far more in the way and less energy than then. You can't overscore an IQ test but can easily mess one up which is why they allow retakes. My dry runs so far have mainly gone 5-10 points too low, with one just above the line. All done under test conditions from proper test papers so pretty marginal. One fucking letter was all there was between me and a social life and a little badge but no. I didn't know Mensa existed at 11 and had little use for a high IQ score as then exam results were all that counted. The psychologist told us the result, spoke to my mother and we left. She sent something to my headmaster who then wrote to my mother but on no paper we could find did anyone write the result. Someone else who worked there said she didn't remember them giving written results which is like passing your driving test without a certificate. It's like being in bloody Italy...
Anyway, those are my current ambitions, with few if any plans to get them done besides meditation as usual. That covers them all ultimately as gets you everything (also in the bible as the kingdom of God), but as that is the hardest task of all I can only point myself in the direction of the others and see if I get there. And before I'm 70 if possible while I can use it.
Things are OK at the moment, not wonderful but not bad. They have been a lot better, not for long and mainly interrupted first by annual exams (at least) and my mother leaving home, but far far better than now a lot of the time. I've picked up some tricks of course over the years like meditation but I'm little different generally besides older, wiser and more aware of all the hazards in life. The council and media replies are over apparently, and got a big fat zero, but I tried. Oh, one possible magazine for next year so just alive there. I have no plans left and only my new reading glasses and whether UKIP (our anti Europe and global warming party) do well in the forthcoming Euro elections. Of course they should have been limited to the music competition but we voted in and are stuck in the biggest nest of vipers since the last Roman Empire. As David Icke says, be aware of the evil and ignore it. No other way.
No actual plans, I Streetview all London's roads now with fewer and fewer old signs left to discover and nearly all the same ones each time, and covering the places outside as I did before on the roads as I did today. I got the no through road signs 8 and 9 along with a row of old 40 mph which of course are identical to every other. Very diminishing returns. I need one big break now to live again. Any one from:
A decent woman, a national newspaper article or TV appearance, a published book, a psychic power (beyond those I have), a step towards enlightenment and a council actually put in an old sign for me. All possible but not easy.
Getting a woman is easy for 99% of everyone I know so very mystified there, besides being the height of a 14 year old and now the hair of a baby (many start balding and end the same way), I'm pretty OK generally. I have reasonable manners, not at all bossy, spend money on women, and of course have two lines of letters after my name on A4 paper. But women are interested in men for their reasons, not mine. I do know if I make a toilet joke and they laugh the next stop is bed, but I haven't done that for ages. And I've had lots of women, but never the right ones for long enough to matter. There's one I caught up with from school who either posts old photos or is frozen in time, but appears to have all I need including possible availability. But as she's been in America for half her life since school then she may as well be married/dead/gay. One is gay and in Australia (as she was gay), and the rest are married or living so far away they may as well be. But they dumped me once and I won't find it from my past although many have.
The others are mainly career steps, logarithmic as each one is ten times less likely than the last. I'm really at the top level now as once you've got there you can't do better, only more which is easier as you've done it already. I've had three interviews already at that level so only need one to stick. 49 years of preparation so not exactly sudden. The psychic stuff is following my development, again the next levels are probably 100 times higher than existing but know many are possible if not all. I'm working on them as well.
I will otherwise just carry on alone and filling time till I die, which misses out the family life most people have and can see myself ending up like Barry George (the one who didn't kill Jill Dando) who is the same age and apparent social status of me. Besides having an IQ almost 100 points higher than him our lives are very similar. Loners living a fantasy world and being isolated from mainstream society despite living in London. No community to keep us busy like in small town life. And the only reason I haven't retried for Mensa now they've changed their rules is I'm scared I can't manage it any more. My mind flowed freely at 11 and has far more in the way and less energy than then. You can't overscore an IQ test but can easily mess one up which is why they allow retakes. My dry runs so far have mainly gone 5-10 points too low, with one just above the line. All done under test conditions from proper test papers so pretty marginal. One fucking letter was all there was between me and a social life and a little badge but no. I didn't know Mensa existed at 11 and had little use for a high IQ score as then exam results were all that counted. The psychologist told us the result, spoke to my mother and we left. She sent something to my headmaster who then wrote to my mother but on no paper we could find did anyone write the result. Someone else who worked there said she didn't remember them giving written results which is like passing your driving test without a certificate. It's like being in bloody Italy...
Anyway, those are my current ambitions, with few if any plans to get them done besides meditation as usual. That covers them all ultimately as gets you everything (also in the bible as the kingdom of God), but as that is the hardest task of all I can only point myself in the direction of the others and see if I get there. And before I'm 70 if possible while I can use it.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Current spiritual progress
Freedom is a good place to start, tomorrow and ahead are free although little known besides house/garden work and Streetviewing to fill it so far. As my dad's car misbehaved today I took my grandma shopping and had all mine bought for me as a result. I won't be eating like a pauper for a few weeks now so a good result for all. My reading glasses will be here in a week or so, and just in time as I'm struggling a bit with the old ones. I can read (except a few maps so far) but it's easy to make mistakes and relatively hard work.
Besides that I streetviewed what is the weirdest sign so far, as you can see (besides being wooden which is plain wrong), is almost all in the old style but has no boxes round the writing or anything written (ie no entry) in the little sign, although there is no room for it. It looks like one of the ones made just after the new rules when makers were used to the other type and still made the new ones using the old features. Someone will know. There has been no direction signs on yellow though since the change and capital letters only slip in by chance while they were only used in old ones. There was no missing link between old and new but this is a one off.
Meanwhile the satsang is continuing on Youtube, while my mind understands more and more what enlightenment is I am still waiting to see it happen. One teacher confirmed my first and best view of it which few have mentioned since, but maybe they aren't actually enlightened either as to me if it's not a big deal it's not enlightenment. Just a minor shift in awareness can be done with all sorts of drugs and means nothing. Schizophrenics get them all the time and none have recommended them to anyone. But true enlightenment has always been a big deal and the teachers who say it wasn't really much at all yet still want us to follow must be missing something. Some disregard kundalini although that's the one area we can all feel with a bit of work. Once you know it exists it's the same as being clairvoyant, you are now experiencing your senses doing things you hadn't thought they couldn't so realise the potential below what we're normally aware of. Most people never experience it as without teaching we're unlikely to spin the combination by chance.
I am at that stage (since 1991) where I do something clever spiritually and return to normal, meaning whatever I do manage makes no difference to my life besides the knowledge it is now possible. I can turn on clairvoyance at will, get meditation highs and kundalini rushes sometimes (but wear off as fast as a decent joint, not that I do), and saw auras with an energy push from my teacher apparently with her effort transferred to my vision. Then 99.9% I am as I was before, wondering why if I can see auras at all then it isn't all the time like many people I know. I'm very happy to see the higher frequencies and see smoke around plants and lights around people, it's like being in fairyland. These are only distractions on the path to enlightenment though and that's the double first of the spiritual path, we all aim for it and only a few get it. But unlike lower seconds (my own degree and bloody hard earned that was) it seems if you don't get the lot you get nothing on the way or instead. You can't be slightly enlightened, it either happens or not. It can come for a short time and go, which is the only clues I know beforehand people have, but although I sat next to someone when it happened to him in 1998 nothing like that happened to me.
Unlike in 2003 when a teacher said I was a hobby disciple or whatever he called it, I have more time and interest now and as my practice can be done anywhere if I'm awake I do it a lot more than before when I didn't have a specific method. Mind you it took him 17 years so by that token I'm about due now. Nowadays I don't see anyone on the path like I used to. Most will never get anywhere as they appear to have filled their brains with holes from drug use over many years, while others talk the talk as they memorise the teachings and change not one bit. You only need a good teacher as it's not a team effort, you don't get inspired by other students, but gives us something to talk about besides the other stuff. My life has changed admittedly, and if enlightened the outside and inside world are the same, so technically if anything changes it's you. First the phases (which still happen) of similar things and identical words and phrases witnessed by everyone who saw me, and now the guidance, which went quiet for a week but seems to be coming back in smaller ways again now.
If it continues then I can add that it has partly been guided by me. I saw 'The Secret' a while back and did make the first aim on the list (a big one) followed by another pretty soon after that. If you've read it, the guidance began finding me 3 old signs on one trip as the route I took made me pass one I'd passed many times and never seen, and another as I made a tiny mistake and saw it on the road it was not the one I was told it was on next to it. Since then the big business one worked followed by many more signs including the red triangle one I needed the most for the complete set. The after 3 years my last TV programme went live online.
That means between my wishes and the guidance (no use if it doesn't correspond with them as it's just normal life then) I'm now waiting for a newspaper article and a decent woman for a start. Another red triangle sign or two within 20 miles, and at least one apology/change of decision from certain people who have treated me worse than a serial rapist or murderer. The punishments weren't the same but the attitude they had was.
That is my list now, and will add the gaps between waiting should reduce as they did since this all started. If not then even if they all do but three years pass it won't be so different from normal. Barely any time at all now, and instant karma is another sign as well as synchronicity. I feel the same but outside is definitely different. The profit so far is peace of mind, lack of effort driving miles for new signs any more, but little else. An article should get a few old faces back in my life just as when my friend's brother was on the radio and a pile of old friends caught up as a result as he moved without telling anyone. Producers also begin to pay people once they've reached a certain level, and being in a national paper is a big step towards that status. The woman is self explanatory, and the apologies would both rearrange the energy and the faith I have that people can't be as bad as that. Plus it would get me back one or two of the things I lost as a result.
Tomorrow and beyond are good opportunities for this to start, no delay is involved as I said, and as guided no logic either as the whole of my world has to be arranged for each result to happen. It's no different to getting things the usual way either, it's not cheating but how we should really all live now. And probably always but we may have lost it somehow. All this suffering to get pleasure just means it evens out and we get zero overall as the price we pay usually equals any benefit we get so no profit in the end. If we are donated everything we can still work, learn and help others but there won't be any suffering involved. There really is no need to earn anything in life, that's just what bosses tell you so you don't object to working for them. I didn't stop studying when I qualified, I just studied what I wanted to instead. It's the same for work, I've done plenty of what would be considered work since I lost my regular job but as I rarely get paid for it and never do the same thing two days/hours running but people who write articles, paint and take photos and get paid for it are considered to be working. You see how it's just a matter of perception? Yes, we can qualify in a field or two, but can split that with many other things we don't need to study for.
Anyway, you're all losing concentration now so I won't add yet more ideas and concepts, and hope the guidance brings larger prizes very soon.
Besides that I streetviewed what is the weirdest sign so far, as you can see (besides being wooden which is plain wrong), is almost all in the old style but has no boxes round the writing or anything written (ie no entry) in the little sign, although there is no room for it. It looks like one of the ones made just after the new rules when makers were used to the other type and still made the new ones using the old features. Someone will know. There has been no direction signs on yellow though since the change and capital letters only slip in by chance while they were only used in old ones. There was no missing link between old and new but this is a one off.
Meanwhile the satsang is continuing on Youtube, while my mind understands more and more what enlightenment is I am still waiting to see it happen. One teacher confirmed my first and best view of it which few have mentioned since, but maybe they aren't actually enlightened either as to me if it's not a big deal it's not enlightenment. Just a minor shift in awareness can be done with all sorts of drugs and means nothing. Schizophrenics get them all the time and none have recommended them to anyone. But true enlightenment has always been a big deal and the teachers who say it wasn't really much at all yet still want us to follow must be missing something. Some disregard kundalini although that's the one area we can all feel with a bit of work. Once you know it exists it's the same as being clairvoyant, you are now experiencing your senses doing things you hadn't thought they couldn't so realise the potential below what we're normally aware of. Most people never experience it as without teaching we're unlikely to spin the combination by chance.
I am at that stage (since 1991) where I do something clever spiritually and return to normal, meaning whatever I do manage makes no difference to my life besides the knowledge it is now possible. I can turn on clairvoyance at will, get meditation highs and kundalini rushes sometimes (but wear off as fast as a decent joint, not that I do), and saw auras with an energy push from my teacher apparently with her effort transferred to my vision. Then 99.9% I am as I was before, wondering why if I can see auras at all then it isn't all the time like many people I know. I'm very happy to see the higher frequencies and see smoke around plants and lights around people, it's like being in fairyland. These are only distractions on the path to enlightenment though and that's the double first of the spiritual path, we all aim for it and only a few get it. But unlike lower seconds (my own degree and bloody hard earned that was) it seems if you don't get the lot you get nothing on the way or instead. You can't be slightly enlightened, it either happens or not. It can come for a short time and go, which is the only clues I know beforehand people have, but although I sat next to someone when it happened to him in 1998 nothing like that happened to me.
Unlike in 2003 when a teacher said I was a hobby disciple or whatever he called it, I have more time and interest now and as my practice can be done anywhere if I'm awake I do it a lot more than before when I didn't have a specific method. Mind you it took him 17 years so by that token I'm about due now. Nowadays I don't see anyone on the path like I used to. Most will never get anywhere as they appear to have filled their brains with holes from drug use over many years, while others talk the talk as they memorise the teachings and change not one bit. You only need a good teacher as it's not a team effort, you don't get inspired by other students, but gives us something to talk about besides the other stuff. My life has changed admittedly, and if enlightened the outside and inside world are the same, so technically if anything changes it's you. First the phases (which still happen) of similar things and identical words and phrases witnessed by everyone who saw me, and now the guidance, which went quiet for a week but seems to be coming back in smaller ways again now.
If it continues then I can add that it has partly been guided by me. I saw 'The Secret' a while back and did make the first aim on the list (a big one) followed by another pretty soon after that. If you've read it, the guidance began finding me 3 old signs on one trip as the route I took made me pass one I'd passed many times and never seen, and another as I made a tiny mistake and saw it on the road it was not the one I was told it was on next to it. Since then the big business one worked followed by many more signs including the red triangle one I needed the most for the complete set. The after 3 years my last TV programme went live online.
That means between my wishes and the guidance (no use if it doesn't correspond with them as it's just normal life then) I'm now waiting for a newspaper article and a decent woman for a start. Another red triangle sign or two within 20 miles, and at least one apology/change of decision from certain people who have treated me worse than a serial rapist or murderer. The punishments weren't the same but the attitude they had was.
That is my list now, and will add the gaps between waiting should reduce as they did since this all started. If not then even if they all do but three years pass it won't be so different from normal. Barely any time at all now, and instant karma is another sign as well as synchronicity. I feel the same but outside is definitely different. The profit so far is peace of mind, lack of effort driving miles for new signs any more, but little else. An article should get a few old faces back in my life just as when my friend's brother was on the radio and a pile of old friends caught up as a result as he moved without telling anyone. Producers also begin to pay people once they've reached a certain level, and being in a national paper is a big step towards that status. The woman is self explanatory, and the apologies would both rearrange the energy and the faith I have that people can't be as bad as that. Plus it would get me back one or two of the things I lost as a result.
Tomorrow and beyond are good opportunities for this to start, no delay is involved as I said, and as guided no logic either as the whole of my world has to be arranged for each result to happen. It's no different to getting things the usual way either, it's not cheating but how we should really all live now. And probably always but we may have lost it somehow. All this suffering to get pleasure just means it evens out and we get zero overall as the price we pay usually equals any benefit we get so no profit in the end. If we are donated everything we can still work, learn and help others but there won't be any suffering involved. There really is no need to earn anything in life, that's just what bosses tell you so you don't object to working for them. I didn't stop studying when I qualified, I just studied what I wanted to instead. It's the same for work, I've done plenty of what would be considered work since I lost my regular job but as I rarely get paid for it and never do the same thing two days/hours running but people who write articles, paint and take photos and get paid for it are considered to be working. You see how it's just a matter of perception? Yes, we can qualify in a field or two, but can split that with many other things we don't need to study for.
Anyway, you're all losing concentration now so I won't add yet more ideas and concepts, and hope the guidance brings larger prizes very soon.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Daylight robbery by taxation
Today's challenge is to write something original. I was actually busy all week besides a much needed day off on Wednesday, got my eyes tested and took lots of photos. I also suspect all my paintings are sold as they are not in the gallery, but haven't heard from the boss yet. But same result if they've lost them but would rather someone actually wanted to pay for them. I have a set of towns to drive in Surrey as they're not on Streetview and may have something of interest as a county which has kept tradition in many roads. The email reply situation seems dead now, not one got me anything besides a possible on a magazine next year, which could open the door to a writing career so pretty important if works.
Other areas are probably under the wider umbrella of focusing on the present, even the days I run out of ideas the internet's there and have two articles to finish as well when it's quiet. I've had to accept I have no social life after the first 42 busy years, after which my last regular friend emigrated and my new girlfriend was locked up in hospital. The remaining weirdos and bores were gradually dropped leaving me with family and little else at the moment, and I've adapted as well as anyone can. People come and go as they please and someone will turn up sooner or later who is around for the long stay. Most friends have lasted 20-30 years on average so only need a few. But being single at my age means the couples treat me like I treat the other singles who are so through lack of social skills. It's a bit of a ladder with each level avoiding the one below it. My status will have to come from my abilities, and that needs the media or some sort of miracle to make them known by the public.
I know some of my talents simply as I can see how few people understand what seems bloody obvious to me, or easy to discover with a little effort. Most people are so wrapped up in prejudices they can't accept the truth and I don't try and waste much time trying to get through them. My communication is purely from training as my essays were woolly and forced to shape up or ship out in the 2nd year of college. Once I got the hang of paragraphs, beginnings, middles and endings, and supporting arguments I was able to present my knowledge. So a writing career is ideal as the tens of thousands of words I've written for essays and still do mean I'm keeping it warm the whole time and even if I make mistakes am usually aware of them and can correct them. And the number of lies many people believe means there's a huge audience I am obliged to play to as I don't want to be ruled by liars. I know people won't reduce the power they use if taxed as do the politicians. That's why they tax it. If people did reduce the usage they'd tax something else as they'd lose revenue otherwise. The climate is as important to most politicians as it is to me as an issue, but as long as most people don't bother to check the facts they will continue to rob us based on these lies.
Does anyone want to be robbed? If no violence is used then telling us they must extract our incomes for climate change is no different from taking money from bank accounts by hacking. They are more honest as they don't pretend they're doing it for charity. Why emotion prevents enough people from realising climate change is not real beats me. They ignore the reasons for increased amounts leaving their pay packets every month and going on petrol and gas, and blindly accept it's to stop climate change. King Canute sat in front of the waves not to try and stop them but prove he couldn't. That was many years ago and we still can't. We can't make the climate better or worse. It can't be done. Volcanoes, ocean currents, and most of all the sun can do that very well and cows farting and people using light bulbs can't compete with that on any scale. 3% of CO2 emissions, and CO2 is not proven to cause the greenhouse effect (who tells you that apart from people on the internet?). NASA know as their Aqua satellite found it isn't doing so, as well as enough calculations that show we'd need a heck of a lot more than 0.04% to do anything even if it can be done. Human beings can't do that.
Now if you see someone being mugged you'd want to help if you could, so what's the difference with trying to help them being mugged by politicians? They can't knife us so we haven't any excuse not to fight them verbally with facts, something they are very happy to keep to their own circles and rarely share with the public. But the internet means facts are now freely available and as old books confirm CO2 hasn't gone up as it was the same in 1961 as it is now tells me the foundations are built on no more than CO2 and nothing solid. The trick they used (in case anyone questions my own veracity) is that CO2 in the atmosphere is variable. There is no 'right' amount. The normal range for memorable history is 0.02-0.04%. They took a lower figure for the 60s and then the maximum for the 2000s which is an increase of about 60%. The fact the normal range covers 100% is no longer added, creating the view it's gone mad and the fact they then assume it's our fault is a story even the wolf would have been proud of. You know the one I mean, the one who said he was grandma, and then all the kids who shouted 'wolf!' until the day he really came no one believed them. People, you are all being robbed and I am the police. I know it even if you don't.
Other areas are probably under the wider umbrella of focusing on the present, even the days I run out of ideas the internet's there and have two articles to finish as well when it's quiet. I've had to accept I have no social life after the first 42 busy years, after which my last regular friend emigrated and my new girlfriend was locked up in hospital. The remaining weirdos and bores were gradually dropped leaving me with family and little else at the moment, and I've adapted as well as anyone can. People come and go as they please and someone will turn up sooner or later who is around for the long stay. Most friends have lasted 20-30 years on average so only need a few. But being single at my age means the couples treat me like I treat the other singles who are so through lack of social skills. It's a bit of a ladder with each level avoiding the one below it. My status will have to come from my abilities, and that needs the media or some sort of miracle to make them known by the public.
I know some of my talents simply as I can see how few people understand what seems bloody obvious to me, or easy to discover with a little effort. Most people are so wrapped up in prejudices they can't accept the truth and I don't try and waste much time trying to get through them. My communication is purely from training as my essays were woolly and forced to shape up or ship out in the 2nd year of college. Once I got the hang of paragraphs, beginnings, middles and endings, and supporting arguments I was able to present my knowledge. So a writing career is ideal as the tens of thousands of words I've written for essays and still do mean I'm keeping it warm the whole time and even if I make mistakes am usually aware of them and can correct them. And the number of lies many people believe means there's a huge audience I am obliged to play to as I don't want to be ruled by liars. I know people won't reduce the power they use if taxed as do the politicians. That's why they tax it. If people did reduce the usage they'd tax something else as they'd lose revenue otherwise. The climate is as important to most politicians as it is to me as an issue, but as long as most people don't bother to check the facts they will continue to rob us based on these lies.
Does anyone want to be robbed? If no violence is used then telling us they must extract our incomes for climate change is no different from taking money from bank accounts by hacking. They are more honest as they don't pretend they're doing it for charity. Why emotion prevents enough people from realising climate change is not real beats me. They ignore the reasons for increased amounts leaving their pay packets every month and going on petrol and gas, and blindly accept it's to stop climate change. King Canute sat in front of the waves not to try and stop them but prove he couldn't. That was many years ago and we still can't. We can't make the climate better or worse. It can't be done. Volcanoes, ocean currents, and most of all the sun can do that very well and cows farting and people using light bulbs can't compete with that on any scale. 3% of CO2 emissions, and CO2 is not proven to cause the greenhouse effect (who tells you that apart from people on the internet?). NASA know as their Aqua satellite found it isn't doing so, as well as enough calculations that show we'd need a heck of a lot more than 0.04% to do anything even if it can be done. Human beings can't do that.
Now if you see someone being mugged you'd want to help if you could, so what's the difference with trying to help them being mugged by politicians? They can't knife us so we haven't any excuse not to fight them verbally with facts, something they are very happy to keep to their own circles and rarely share with the public. But the internet means facts are now freely available and as old books confirm CO2 hasn't gone up as it was the same in 1961 as it is now tells me the foundations are built on no more than CO2 and nothing solid. The trick they used (in case anyone questions my own veracity) is that CO2 in the atmosphere is variable. There is no 'right' amount. The normal range for memorable history is 0.02-0.04%. They took a lower figure for the 60s and then the maximum for the 2000s which is an increase of about 60%. The fact the normal range covers 100% is no longer added, creating the view it's gone mad and the fact they then assume it's our fault is a story even the wolf would have been proud of. You know the one I mean, the one who said he was grandma, and then all the kids who shouted 'wolf!' until the day he really came no one believed them. People, you are all being robbed and I am the police. I know it even if you don't.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Another week of freedom
It's still pretty quiet but by my own efforts I've got a little bit going (including someone else sharing the driving) although only the barest minimum. After finding a second version of Hampstead Garden Suburb in Ealing I went and saw it on Friday, and wondering if there were more went to Guildford on Sunday (as only London's on Streetview) looking for old signs (it had one already so a target) and although no more were seen I then found another HGS I'd never have seen otherwise, including one road with the same name. I then found there was an A road in Surrey right round the furthest edge I'd missed and got a lift up there by my father and did find two identical signs although just the number of the road and no place mentioned. Another headroom sign popped up in Mayfair last week (I have a pair of 15' 6'' headrooms from Hackney) but did it on the way home yesterday as easy at night and now have a 9' 9'' which looks brand new even though 45-75 years old. Not like me then. And finally today I had been told there was a red triangle sign lurking in south Herts. but he'd forgotten where, so covered a few more nearby villages and half of Potters Bar and just found another (#7) no through road sign, although with stuck on letters rather than the usual cast iron, which I discovered arrived in 1953, ten years before the signs were stopped.
So I keep Streetviewing, have no plans ahead full stop but managed to work something out day by day so far. I have still found officials to email for various favours and had fuck all out of them besides hearing about one sign I knew already. But expecting more when you're not paying them and it's not part of their job descriptions is fantasy. Due to the amount of teaching now on Youtube I'm doing my active meditation a lot more now as I keep being reminded of it, which may eventually have an effect. I know it can either work gradually and you'll see the changes, or build up and happen suddenly. As I've seen no gradual changes in 13 years I hope whatever work I've done is building up somehow.
Tomorrow and the rest of my life is an open book, I must get an eye test now as the small print is becoming less discernable now and will miss something soon if I don't get it sorted out. I may see if he's free tomorrow or Thursday as there's no longer a single better thing to do, today was sunny all day and spent a couple of hours in the car driving to the country. That's three days running and have some very nice other photos besides the signs to show for it. But besides a woman and fame enlightenment is the true way out for people like me who know it's an option. Now I see so many similar stories from the teachers and explanations it must be sinking in deeper and deeper and may eventually take me over as well. If it's real then it ought to. It's meant to be part of evolution and while our bodies have changed (and probably not for the better) our minds now need to. So far it's been demonstrated the Buddhist view all pleasure is temporary is true, so you need something permanent instead and that is the only thing that is. I could take the hard way, do weird and wonderful practises to break the ego every day, or just do the active meditation anyone can do. They wouldn't all recommend it if it didn't work as well as others. Mantras scramble the brain as well as the mind and if I want a passive meditation to do mine takes an hour already and shouldn't mess it up by doing extra ones, which are not supposed to be done.
Well I really hope something decent happens this week after the months of pushing I've done. Having a TV programme online is a start as no one can miss it. The fact I need to tell every bloody individual personally as Sky have apparently failed to mention it (unless it's in their magazine which only satellite viewers get) but won't get very far with web TV if no one besides the participants realise it's there. It is the first so just being part of that is something, unless it flops totally and no more are done (50-50 I think). Presumably that would mean it would make sense to put it back on real TV so won't lose if that happens. It's officially on Sky2 now but that gets a fair number of viewers although no ads on hoardings.
But the effort I've made searching out and emailing officials, after planning what to say and present both facts, law and appeals to their better nature (no comment) really deserves more than the bin. But so do my articles, interviews and offers to women but it never stopped them going there...
So I keep Streetviewing, have no plans ahead full stop but managed to work something out day by day so far. I have still found officials to email for various favours and had fuck all out of them besides hearing about one sign I knew already. But expecting more when you're not paying them and it's not part of their job descriptions is fantasy. Due to the amount of teaching now on Youtube I'm doing my active meditation a lot more now as I keep being reminded of it, which may eventually have an effect. I know it can either work gradually and you'll see the changes, or build up and happen suddenly. As I've seen no gradual changes in 13 years I hope whatever work I've done is building up somehow.
Tomorrow and the rest of my life is an open book, I must get an eye test now as the small print is becoming less discernable now and will miss something soon if I don't get it sorted out. I may see if he's free tomorrow or Thursday as there's no longer a single better thing to do, today was sunny all day and spent a couple of hours in the car driving to the country. That's three days running and have some very nice other photos besides the signs to show for it. But besides a woman and fame enlightenment is the true way out for people like me who know it's an option. Now I see so many similar stories from the teachers and explanations it must be sinking in deeper and deeper and may eventually take me over as well. If it's real then it ought to. It's meant to be part of evolution and while our bodies have changed (and probably not for the better) our minds now need to. So far it's been demonstrated the Buddhist view all pleasure is temporary is true, so you need something permanent instead and that is the only thing that is. I could take the hard way, do weird and wonderful practises to break the ego every day, or just do the active meditation anyone can do. They wouldn't all recommend it if it didn't work as well as others. Mantras scramble the brain as well as the mind and if I want a passive meditation to do mine takes an hour already and shouldn't mess it up by doing extra ones, which are not supposed to be done.
Well I really hope something decent happens this week after the months of pushing I've done. Having a TV programme online is a start as no one can miss it. The fact I need to tell every bloody individual personally as Sky have apparently failed to mention it (unless it's in their magazine which only satellite viewers get) but won't get very far with web TV if no one besides the participants realise it's there. It is the first so just being part of that is something, unless it flops totally and no more are done (50-50 I think). Presumably that would mean it would make sense to put it back on real TV so won't lose if that happens. It's officially on Sky2 now but that gets a fair number of viewers although no ads on hoardings.
But the effort I've made searching out and emailing officials, after planning what to say and present both facts, law and appeals to their better nature (no comment) really deserves more than the bin. But so do my articles, interviews and offers to women but it never stopped them going there...
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Time to retire
I am hoping having been led to all the first set of aims that I will now reach the next level up, the big time. If someone's had a long ordeal and decided they now want a quiet life they no longer look for excitement and variety but are happy where they are. Peace is valued above all and I have reached that stage. I've visited 10 countries (Ireland to come I hope), seen 74 football matches (still do a few locally), seen huge names at the theatre, a few concerts, etc etc. Now I am happy with a quiet life in NW London with as little stress as possible and decent people around me. Rather than actual work I'll pursue a freelance media career now, unpaid unless offered and mainly from home wherever possible. Four afternoons filming TV programmes here started it off, now all been on, and hope for many more. Articles written are now being distributed to anywhere suitable rather than obscure professional journals. I'm doing what I can.
Why people should retire when they're past it has always been pointless to me, like offering someone sex when it's worn out. Better you should retire around 50 and if you want to do part time work later on it's up to you. The creative power of doing things for pleasure is far greater than doing what you have to with little left over for anything else. I was forced into a life of leisure as described already, and suited me fine. It's only that no one else (besides a few crazies) are available during the day, and the normals are all with their nuclear families (radioactive?) while not working, treating the singles after 30 as if they have AIDS. There's no village life in Europe's biggest conurbation, just roads and buildings for 30 miles in every direction. Plenty of opportunities to find old signs and little else. I am better off using the dead time working for enlightenment as each new teacher explains it in the same way and really if you work at it enough something should happen, even a little change. Then the rest really doesn't matter so much. If I become rich enough I'd have a little commune at home where any hippies could drop in and reexperience the 60s away from one of the hardest and toughest societies since ancient Rome.
I've seen it decline since about 1975, from the end of the hippy era to the start of Thatcherism, and then the even worse New Labour, not even honest enough to admit they simply change policies to stay in power. But there are only two rulers now, the EU and global warming. Between them they hold the reins like Stalin across the western world, lying to masses who accept every word they say, with the intelligentsia and independents condemned like under the cultural revolution and encouraged to burn their books, at least metaphorically. Because of the internet they can't hide the truth however and when Pen Hadow confirms the Arctic ice survived the last warm period (really warm) the latest garbage about sea level rises will vanish into the hole it crawled from. How the public swallow this diet of filth for this long, with all the clear lies exposed, beats and depresses me totally. I can't exactly hide my IQ as I had it tested, but surely the bloody obvious can't be perceptible only to Mensans? Or am I wrong?
I've spread the truth online for 8 years now and can do no more without repeating myself unless new data arrives, which it does constantly as more figures are measured by the honest. 0.036% of the atmosphere is CO2, we create 3% of it. As the Yanks say, you do the math.
I'm rarely around elsewhere online besides my photos at the moment as Streetviewing every road in London in case I find more old signs. It can't be done casually as they are being removed steadily. It is relaxing and interesting and free so better than driving the streets as I did before. My sign trips have extended from Aldershot to Hertford to Crystal Palace and Brockley, and if places outside London and Surrey had more I'd carry on. But I've got plenty of direction signs and a fair selection of others but any more will be nice. But it won't last a lot longer and a new project needs to turn up somehow. None of the attempts I've made have got me a thing so far, no new signs discovered by councils or old ones saved. No media work on the system either but rarely is. I know there has to be potential but not sure how to find it. Yet.
Why people should retire when they're past it has always been pointless to me, like offering someone sex when it's worn out. Better you should retire around 50 and if you want to do part time work later on it's up to you. The creative power of doing things for pleasure is far greater than doing what you have to with little left over for anything else. I was forced into a life of leisure as described already, and suited me fine. It's only that no one else (besides a few crazies) are available during the day, and the normals are all with their nuclear families (radioactive?) while not working, treating the singles after 30 as if they have AIDS. There's no village life in Europe's biggest conurbation, just roads and buildings for 30 miles in every direction. Plenty of opportunities to find old signs and little else. I am better off using the dead time working for enlightenment as each new teacher explains it in the same way and really if you work at it enough something should happen, even a little change. Then the rest really doesn't matter so much. If I become rich enough I'd have a little commune at home where any hippies could drop in and reexperience the 60s away from one of the hardest and toughest societies since ancient Rome.
I've seen it decline since about 1975, from the end of the hippy era to the start of Thatcherism, and then the even worse New Labour, not even honest enough to admit they simply change policies to stay in power. But there are only two rulers now, the EU and global warming. Between them they hold the reins like Stalin across the western world, lying to masses who accept every word they say, with the intelligentsia and independents condemned like under the cultural revolution and encouraged to burn their books, at least metaphorically. Because of the internet they can't hide the truth however and when Pen Hadow confirms the Arctic ice survived the last warm period (really warm) the latest garbage about sea level rises will vanish into the hole it crawled from. How the public swallow this diet of filth for this long, with all the clear lies exposed, beats and depresses me totally. I can't exactly hide my IQ as I had it tested, but surely the bloody obvious can't be perceptible only to Mensans? Or am I wrong?
I've spread the truth online for 8 years now and can do no more without repeating myself unless new data arrives, which it does constantly as more figures are measured by the honest. 0.036% of the atmosphere is CO2, we create 3% of it. As the Yanks say, you do the math.
I'm rarely around elsewhere online besides my photos at the moment as Streetviewing every road in London in case I find more old signs. It can't be done casually as they are being removed steadily. It is relaxing and interesting and free so better than driving the streets as I did before. My sign trips have extended from Aldershot to Hertford to Crystal Palace and Brockley, and if places outside London and Surrey had more I'd carry on. But I've got plenty of direction signs and a fair selection of others but any more will be nice. But it won't last a lot longer and a new project needs to turn up somehow. None of the attempts I've made have got me a thing so far, no new signs discovered by councils or old ones saved. No media work on the system either but rarely is. I know there has to be potential but not sure how to find it. Yet.
Monday, May 04, 2009
Gone too damn quiet
So far the system's still working well, I had another convoluted direction towards one of the rarest signs in Britain, from looking at a couple of speed limits, finding a lane direction sign, finding its pair on Streetview and returning for it as in better condition, and finally on the way home seeing (as I was stopped at traffic lights) an old No Entry sign (the one with the words on it). As the paint had worn off it was only as the size was a bit bigger for the space I thought it may be different, looked closely and saw the magic writing. Since Pinewood Studios took theirs out the only known other left was in Cornwall. And now near me. A good start.
I still need more. Having a good sign collection is nice but doesn't change life. Getting back one I'd missed is even better, but now it seems I need the next guidance to something that will improve my normal life as well as collecting objects. The main way to improve is to become enlightened, which is outside my control past doing what I'm taught. Beneath that is the psychic powers that make life a lot more interesting by seeing auras and whatever else is under our normal threshold of vision. No doubts there as I've done it, but like an old man so far can't keep it up. How do you find an old man in the dark? Feel around, it won't be hard. Anyway, that is personal development I'm always working on, and beneath that is the unreliable, people. I need more people around me, women, friends and the like. And a media job that gets me known. I've reached the level just beneath actual fame, as I've watched what happens at each level and a national paper or TV station does the trick nowadays as they tend to lead to more. And that brings all the people and other stuff with it that would change things a lot.
Currently I get something good and nothing changes, I've got it and am bored again as my life is the same. I'm slightly better off financially (quite a bit actually) as well which saves me worrying about that now, and am viewable on webTV 24/7. Sky One Abduct Me episode 3. No plans to go on satellite TV but would be a waste not to. First ever made for web programme. In the UK anyway, no idea elsewhere. All my friends are in it. But most are south of the river John, including that zone of exclusion called Kent. So we speak regularly but rarely meet. But we've done four programmes together now so a pretty good team. Five of us altogether, all brought together by Nick Pope and are known by the big names in the US now as they've been in the programmes with us. One who hasn't been on now spends weeks there meeting them all and has made personal friends of them. I have here for some time although now I work with Nick the others have mainly dropped off for various reasons, but can still keep in touch if I need to. It's a small community altogether as psychic research has few devotees so we tend to meet the same ones every time.
So I'm streetviewing now in case, found what may have been an old dual carriageway sign but there's nothing on the pole. Nothing more yet besides a couple more headroom signs bang in the middle of London. As I have a pair already it's avoidable, except each has a different height. Nerd City Arizona. If I stop looking for signs besides finishing my article and doing gardening there's bugger all else to do except meditate. Becoming a total hermit from necessity may provide the breakthrough I need but I'd probably end up on the internet instead. It's almost the modern equivalent of wanking except you do actually learn something. The current situation is that I've collected a heck of a lot this year but when I'm not collecting I'm apparently nowhere new. I know more or less what I'd like to happen now but in fact a lot of the last few weeks was presented to me. Besides one sign the others weren't from looking, they just turned up when I needed them. That's fine as besides my exams that's how most things have, but takes away most of my control over it. If I was 25 I'd be accused of being impatient, you'll get it all if you keep going and wait. But I'm almost twice that and people are getting grandchildren already for christ's sake. I haven't even lived with a woman for more than a couple of weeks (of hell, my idea to end it). Having relatively direct access to pussy is not enough to make life sweet, you need the right person and frankly the right pussy, and had neither. The next pussy was a tabby one and stayed nearly 9 years, but clearly a different relationship was present there.
Every other gap since the force took over hasn't lasted very long, usually less than a day. Tomorrow has one possible plan which unless Streetview misled may provide something of interest by Heathrow Airport, except the last interesting sign I could read was gone when I went there. Beyond that is irrelevant and will be known about Tuesday. I am free at least, no work bookings yet after the frantic day last week when they were all crammed in with a trip to Edmonton between them. Wednesday was getting my grandma's house ready for her return from hospital and most of Thursday getting her fixed up when she arrived after a photo trip. Friday was very little until I went out at night and found the No Entry sign, which I took during the day on Saturday and saw a heap of old signs in the local history section in the library. But it's hard to trust a vacuum until it gets filled besides the pattern being followed till now.
So I think tomorrow's taken care of, a speculative trip and no more, and not a difficult one. No councils have delivered more than an apology so far but I am asking a heck of a lot. Had it been 10-20 years earlier I could have swept this up in a month as the signs were everywhere, although didn't have the internet to tell me where most were so have to drive every junction directly. But I have for most roads anyway as I've found lots not online so not so different. The week ahead is currently freedom, I will be happy to stay it, finish my articles and the gardening. Any more will be a bonus but my reading glasses are becoming a bit inadequate and must get that checked before I bugger up more quizzes. As my distance prescription goes more minus the reading will go more plus. Old age of course. But still very good with the correction so not complaining there.
I do have a list of 'preferences' like a national paper article, dragging up a woman from the past or present, and all the others I mention constantly. I do deserve them and whatever work I don't do now I did in the past where others may not have. Tomorrow is another day and I think I'm covering an area I may never have been to before. Probably as there's no reason to go there.
I still need more. Having a good sign collection is nice but doesn't change life. Getting back one I'd missed is even better, but now it seems I need the next guidance to something that will improve my normal life as well as collecting objects. The main way to improve is to become enlightened, which is outside my control past doing what I'm taught. Beneath that is the psychic powers that make life a lot more interesting by seeing auras and whatever else is under our normal threshold of vision. No doubts there as I've done it, but like an old man so far can't keep it up. How do you find an old man in the dark? Feel around, it won't be hard. Anyway, that is personal development I'm always working on, and beneath that is the unreliable, people. I need more people around me, women, friends and the like. And a media job that gets me known. I've reached the level just beneath actual fame, as I've watched what happens at each level and a national paper or TV station does the trick nowadays as they tend to lead to more. And that brings all the people and other stuff with it that would change things a lot.
Currently I get something good and nothing changes, I've got it and am bored again as my life is the same. I'm slightly better off financially (quite a bit actually) as well which saves me worrying about that now, and am viewable on webTV 24/7. Sky One Abduct Me episode 3. No plans to go on satellite TV but would be a waste not to. First ever made for web programme. In the UK anyway, no idea elsewhere. All my friends are in it. But most are south of the river John, including that zone of exclusion called Kent. So we speak regularly but rarely meet. But we've done four programmes together now so a pretty good team. Five of us altogether, all brought together by Nick Pope and are known by the big names in the US now as they've been in the programmes with us. One who hasn't been on now spends weeks there meeting them all and has made personal friends of them. I have here for some time although now I work with Nick the others have mainly dropped off for various reasons, but can still keep in touch if I need to. It's a small community altogether as psychic research has few devotees so we tend to meet the same ones every time.
So I'm streetviewing now in case, found what may have been an old dual carriageway sign but there's nothing on the pole. Nothing more yet besides a couple more headroom signs bang in the middle of London. As I have a pair already it's avoidable, except each has a different height. Nerd City Arizona. If I stop looking for signs besides finishing my article and doing gardening there's bugger all else to do except meditate. Becoming a total hermit from necessity may provide the breakthrough I need but I'd probably end up on the internet instead. It's almost the modern equivalent of wanking except you do actually learn something. The current situation is that I've collected a heck of a lot this year but when I'm not collecting I'm apparently nowhere new. I know more or less what I'd like to happen now but in fact a lot of the last few weeks was presented to me. Besides one sign the others weren't from looking, they just turned up when I needed them. That's fine as besides my exams that's how most things have, but takes away most of my control over it. If I was 25 I'd be accused of being impatient, you'll get it all if you keep going and wait. But I'm almost twice that and people are getting grandchildren already for christ's sake. I haven't even lived with a woman for more than a couple of weeks (of hell, my idea to end it). Having relatively direct access to pussy is not enough to make life sweet, you need the right person and frankly the right pussy, and had neither. The next pussy was a tabby one and stayed nearly 9 years, but clearly a different relationship was present there.
Every other gap since the force took over hasn't lasted very long, usually less than a day. Tomorrow has one possible plan which unless Streetview misled may provide something of interest by Heathrow Airport, except the last interesting sign I could read was gone when I went there. Beyond that is irrelevant and will be known about Tuesday. I am free at least, no work bookings yet after the frantic day last week when they were all crammed in with a trip to Edmonton between them. Wednesday was getting my grandma's house ready for her return from hospital and most of Thursday getting her fixed up when she arrived after a photo trip. Friday was very little until I went out at night and found the No Entry sign, which I took during the day on Saturday and saw a heap of old signs in the local history section in the library. But it's hard to trust a vacuum until it gets filled besides the pattern being followed till now.
So I think tomorrow's taken care of, a speculative trip and no more, and not a difficult one. No councils have delivered more than an apology so far but I am asking a heck of a lot. Had it been 10-20 years earlier I could have swept this up in a month as the signs were everywhere, although didn't have the internet to tell me where most were so have to drive every junction directly. But I have for most roads anyway as I've found lots not online so not so different. The week ahead is currently freedom, I will be happy to stay it, finish my articles and the gardening. Any more will be a bonus but my reading glasses are becoming a bit inadequate and must get that checked before I bugger up more quizzes. As my distance prescription goes more minus the reading will go more plus. Old age of course. But still very good with the correction so not complaining there.
I do have a list of 'preferences' like a national paper article, dragging up a woman from the past or present, and all the others I mention constantly. I do deserve them and whatever work I don't do now I did in the past where others may not have. Tomorrow is another day and I think I'm covering an area I may never have been to before. Probably as there's no reason to go there.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
The bottom line (and I don't mean skidmarks).
So far I'm finding that before one becomes enlightened, whatever they've achieved in life doesn't really help them get through the inevitable tough patches. I expected it to, having high academic or professional status (not that I have) ought to insulate people from all but the worst traumas. but underneath we are just ourselves and these only operate when we use them for work. I didn't want to join Mensa for status but just to meet similar people, and as I already had an astronomical IQ result didn't need to join them to prove it. So the message now (I've been watching a lot more teaching recently provided online), is that all the other work is just tinkering around the edges. Without enlightenment the same crap will keep coming round as nothing's really changed. At least I now believe it's a real state as described clearly enough for me to understand, and while the little piles of dogshit in life keep causing me stress is the only way out.
Yesterday was my busiest work day for ages which paid my electricity bill, today was just bits and pieces preparing my grandma's house for her planned return from hospital tomorrow, I hope. I also found a third old sign on Streetview but when I got there it had already gone. Bound to happen as months old and at least was a local one. So today I end empty handed, as far as I know, with nothing to look forward to. But it was the same on Monday and look what happened, so the pattern should continue. My little list, learnt from watching The Secret, is now being worked through one by one, and so far has actually worked. No need to understand how as long as it does. Making things come easily at my time of life is a great relief and had the rest of it doing things the hard way. No need for more if possible not to.
So tomorrow will not be completely blank, gardening needs to be done (it rained most of last week), I need stamps to send things abroad, and am then waiting to hear when my grandma needs me there if she makes it home on time. That looks bloody boring from here but then again tomorrow is not now so will look different then. I keep sending more emails for media work and sign enquiries and slowly the replies arrive. The only open door so far is a possible magazine usage next year, which would be enough to get me in the business. I hope my material is seen as esoteric enough for them though as it's pretty down to earth stuff on ways to manage in life better. Important but may not be their area. I could write about the synchronicity but besides being just for my benefit and not really for teaching anyone anything, can't really prove much with it. You have to be there to do that and anyone with me has seen it happen directly over and over again.
Just for fun I'd like to think of all the things I've missed or lost and would like back. Most are gone and not reversible, like burning the negatives, but a few can be regained if people cooperated. I thought I had more photos of Routemasters after two afternoons taking them, and they turned up (one set so far anyway) but all the rest on the list are not going to be here already but need replacing. Now when your cat's bollocks are removed you can't put them back, and how many of my losses are the equivalent I'm not entirely sure, but even the ones that could be sewn back and function are very hard to persuade others to find them and do so. I've lost loads of things as well as we all have, and some have turned up in the past so never know there. And that includes people, most buggered off deliberately so wouldn't want to see my face again, but a few just drifted away mainly abroad. But although some may be the equivalent of raising the dead body of Lazarus some are a little more realistic although maybe as likely.
But one thing is I learnt not to moan to live people some time ago, so save it for here. Not like the live people who moan to me non stop. Gets them nowhere and just spreads the manure further over me as well. Thanks a lot. You can't solve other people's personal problems, and just unloading for the sake of it gets no one anywhere verbally as it achieves nothing. Before blogs I wrote it down for me to read and that was enough. And of course the ones that moan the most often have the least to moan about, as the ones who have the most are too busy suffering to stop and waffle about it endlessly. Many people want it all and don't appreciate what they do have as it doesn't measure up to what they expect. Do they really need to lose it each time to realise they have something many people don't at all? And they moan about it to those people? Yes. At least by saying it here anyone guilty or able to tell others who are may be saved from not appreciating everything they do have as well as boring others moaning about its shortcomings. I can but hope.
The bottom line is I deserve better. 49 years of less and less in my life is quite enough. It's no use when I get things I want and then no more as it's people that make life good, things just keep you busy and comfortable. But they can't make you happy. Why should I be condemned to live alone from 32 till I die where even the thickest most boring individuals manage to find someone they want who also tolerates them? I shouldn't. Why should I be the one everyone tells their problems to when I usually have far worse ones than they do? And finally why should I be the guy who is nice to everyone 99.9% of the time so gets into major trouble the one time I'm not? You can see I do have a point here.
Yesterday was my busiest work day for ages which paid my electricity bill, today was just bits and pieces preparing my grandma's house for her planned return from hospital tomorrow, I hope. I also found a third old sign on Streetview but when I got there it had already gone. Bound to happen as months old and at least was a local one. So today I end empty handed, as far as I know, with nothing to look forward to. But it was the same on Monday and look what happened, so the pattern should continue. My little list, learnt from watching The Secret, is now being worked through one by one, and so far has actually worked. No need to understand how as long as it does. Making things come easily at my time of life is a great relief and had the rest of it doing things the hard way. No need for more if possible not to.
So tomorrow will not be completely blank, gardening needs to be done (it rained most of last week), I need stamps to send things abroad, and am then waiting to hear when my grandma needs me there if she makes it home on time. That looks bloody boring from here but then again tomorrow is not now so will look different then. I keep sending more emails for media work and sign enquiries and slowly the replies arrive. The only open door so far is a possible magazine usage next year, which would be enough to get me in the business. I hope my material is seen as esoteric enough for them though as it's pretty down to earth stuff on ways to manage in life better. Important but may not be their area. I could write about the synchronicity but besides being just for my benefit and not really for teaching anyone anything, can't really prove much with it. You have to be there to do that and anyone with me has seen it happen directly over and over again.
Just for fun I'd like to think of all the things I've missed or lost and would like back. Most are gone and not reversible, like burning the negatives, but a few can be regained if people cooperated. I thought I had more photos of Routemasters after two afternoons taking them, and they turned up (one set so far anyway) but all the rest on the list are not going to be here already but need replacing. Now when your cat's bollocks are removed you can't put them back, and how many of my losses are the equivalent I'm not entirely sure, but even the ones that could be sewn back and function are very hard to persuade others to find them and do so. I've lost loads of things as well as we all have, and some have turned up in the past so never know there. And that includes people, most buggered off deliberately so wouldn't want to see my face again, but a few just drifted away mainly abroad. But although some may be the equivalent of raising the dead body of Lazarus some are a little more realistic although maybe as likely.
But one thing is I learnt not to moan to live people some time ago, so save it for here. Not like the live people who moan to me non stop. Gets them nowhere and just spreads the manure further over me as well. Thanks a lot. You can't solve other people's personal problems, and just unloading for the sake of it gets no one anywhere verbally as it achieves nothing. Before blogs I wrote it down for me to read and that was enough. And of course the ones that moan the most often have the least to moan about, as the ones who have the most are too busy suffering to stop and waffle about it endlessly. Many people want it all and don't appreciate what they do have as it doesn't measure up to what they expect. Do they really need to lose it each time to realise they have something many people don't at all? And they moan about it to those people? Yes. At least by saying it here anyone guilty or able to tell others who are may be saved from not appreciating everything they do have as well as boring others moaning about its shortcomings. I can but hope.
The bottom line is I deserve better. 49 years of less and less in my life is quite enough. It's no use when I get things I want and then no more as it's people that make life good, things just keep you busy and comfortable. But they can't make you happy. Why should I be condemned to live alone from 32 till I die where even the thickest most boring individuals manage to find someone they want who also tolerates them? I shouldn't. Why should I be the one everyone tells their problems to when I usually have far worse ones than they do? And finally why should I be the guy who is nice to everyone 99.9% of the time so gets into major trouble the one time I'm not? You can see I do have a point here.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Edmonton sign
Edmonton sign
Originally uploaded by satguru.
Update on last night's entry. I saw one like this online over the weekend, said I needed one last night and one arrived in my inbox a couple of hours later. No one can dismiss this evidence.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Space ahead of me
Space, the final frontier. I must use it well but all has so far been provided to me rather than chasing anything. I hope it continues. Meanwhile I have a few more items in the arsenal for enlightenment, Jackie O'Keeffe has shown me in a way it's impossible to contradict, if you grow up and no one ever tells you you are a person you'll think you are nothing (what you see looking ahead), a body with parts that come and go (as you see it) and no actual difference between what the space ahead contains and you. That is our direct experience, but with conditioning we learn something else. Then someone Like Jac comes along and tells us we were right originally and we have to deprogramme that just as she has. Ditto with time. We actually see things happening now. Nothing more, ever. Nothing ever happened a few minutes ago or tomorrow, although we retain a memory of the past nothing happens there. And there can be no future as once we reach tomorrow it's now again. But again if we weren't told about calendars we'd just assume everything happened now, as it of course does. And finally who we are is just what we are now. Nothing we did in the past determines who we are now, and put all three together I am really a space containing the computer and room surrounding it, my identity is an empty awareness and I only exist now.
That is my direct experience and yours, and by experiencing your own identity as that before or without the conditioning that is meant to be how we should be, given everyone who says they are feel a lot better than before. It covers all the healing and therapy in one go along with all the drug induced attempts to get to the same place we all ultimately are. All the search for pleasure is ultimately for enlightenment, the wish behind the wish is for more, until that is the final one left. I picked this up long ago although all work to get it has been on a purely mind level, which may only partly serve to break down the mind that stops me experiencing my true being now. I have met plenty of these teachers and none seem to be dishonest and not many are very rich from it, quite the opposite.
I am also checking with my friend who now lives in India if he knows her as they both lived in the same town for some time.
So I have almost nothing known ahead. There are the usual emails for work and road signs I'm waiting on replies for (some fucking chance really) although one magazine just said they'll have a look at my work next year when they need some so not all zeros. The gardening and eye tests will be done, and tidying the house since a search for a (still absent) computer cable discovered my photos and started digging the house up for more. So if all I do is go out on my bike and to the local parks and work in the house it'll be something, although it would be nice for a little more. All the last events happened outside any of my control (normal) but were good (new experience) so have a track record to follow. The last few days were nothing special besides one new possible sign making opportunity, but more of a test for my trust than anything else.
My 4th TV programme has been fully distributed by me now, and as I've had a new client now from one of them shows it does work eventually however few people see it in the UK. That area is now complete but besides a comment the journalist wants to add to my national paper interview her editor hasn't used, there is nothing new on the system. I was not designed to be patient, if I'm asked or required to do something I do it first then fanny around. It can be done and is, but most people would rather do anything than something quick that is best out of the way. So as I can deliver instant service I expect it, well prefer it as well. There isn't always much to do when you're waiting. I'm currently viewing every road on Streetview in the London area (only as they haven't done anywhere else within 50 miles) in case I find more old signs, as they are going too fast to wait. I have found two so far I'd never have otherwise so does happen, and is free unlike the visits I still make in Surrey where they haven't covered much of.
I missed the red triangle sign in perfect condition off my old road till about 2005 but with great patience found another this month (albeit with a bit missing), and missing a couple of local direction signs motivated me to drive a lot further to never miss another. The furthest I've been is along the Sussex border where Surrey have kept the old signs on their A roads (23 I think), Aldershot, but only Hertford in the other direction as that was the last one I could find before Harlow (no thanks). Others are much further and beyond the call of duty. I think I've got more or les every type for the directions now and a small selection of the others, many very rare indeed. And with the red triangle the set is complete now but all new ones are welcome as each direction sign is unique and there were plenty of other generics I haven't got. Dual Carriageway, Keep Left, all other red triangles besides the few I've got (missing the triangle or circle besides one), No Entry (illegal so very unlikely), and Halt (about two in the whole country). Some were so rare I don't even remember them first time round. But the time-effort equation now is almost 1-1 million and only continuing as all done virtually online. Fills the time though and learn every road in vision as well.
That is my direct experience and yours, and by experiencing your own identity as that before or without the conditioning that is meant to be how we should be, given everyone who says they are feel a lot better than before. It covers all the healing and therapy in one go along with all the drug induced attempts to get to the same place we all ultimately are. All the search for pleasure is ultimately for enlightenment, the wish behind the wish is for more, until that is the final one left. I picked this up long ago although all work to get it has been on a purely mind level, which may only partly serve to break down the mind that stops me experiencing my true being now. I have met plenty of these teachers and none seem to be dishonest and not many are very rich from it, quite the opposite.
I am also checking with my friend who now lives in India if he knows her as they both lived in the same town for some time.
So I have almost nothing known ahead. There are the usual emails for work and road signs I'm waiting on replies for (some fucking chance really) although one magazine just said they'll have a look at my work next year when they need some so not all zeros. The gardening and eye tests will be done, and tidying the house since a search for a (still absent) computer cable discovered my photos and started digging the house up for more. So if all I do is go out on my bike and to the local parks and work in the house it'll be something, although it would be nice for a little more. All the last events happened outside any of my control (normal) but were good (new experience) so have a track record to follow. The last few days were nothing special besides one new possible sign making opportunity, but more of a test for my trust than anything else.
My 4th TV programme has been fully distributed by me now, and as I've had a new client now from one of them shows it does work eventually however few people see it in the UK. That area is now complete but besides a comment the journalist wants to add to my national paper interview her editor hasn't used, there is nothing new on the system. I was not designed to be patient, if I'm asked or required to do something I do it first then fanny around. It can be done and is, but most people would rather do anything than something quick that is best out of the way. So as I can deliver instant service I expect it, well prefer it as well. There isn't always much to do when you're waiting. I'm currently viewing every road on Streetview in the London area (only as they haven't done anywhere else within 50 miles) in case I find more old signs, as they are going too fast to wait. I have found two so far I'd never have otherwise so does happen, and is free unlike the visits I still make in Surrey where they haven't covered much of.
I missed the red triangle sign in perfect condition off my old road till about 2005 but with great patience found another this month (albeit with a bit missing), and missing a couple of local direction signs motivated me to drive a lot further to never miss another. The furthest I've been is along the Sussex border where Surrey have kept the old signs on their A roads (23 I think), Aldershot, but only Hertford in the other direction as that was the last one I could find before Harlow (no thanks). Others are much further and beyond the call of duty. I think I've got more or les every type for the directions now and a small selection of the others, many very rare indeed. And with the red triangle the set is complete now but all new ones are welcome as each direction sign is unique and there were plenty of other generics I haven't got. Dual Carriageway, Keep Left, all other red triangles besides the few I've got (missing the triangle or circle besides one), No Entry (illegal so very unlikely), and Halt (about two in the whole country). Some were so rare I don't even remember them first time round. But the time-effort equation now is almost 1-1 million and only continuing as all done virtually online. Fills the time though and learn every road in vision as well.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Everything fits
Normally when someone has a nutty theory it seems to run out of legs very quickly when reality takes over. But since the event where I decided something had to be guiding my life and would probably continue to do so it has done, for now over a month. Three possibilities only exist. One, I am wrong, two, God is in charge, and most likely, three, this is a dream of my own making and I've started learning how to direct it. Either way I can say that when life is arranged and gives you what you want it is no less satisfying and a lot easier as well.
In the last few weeks it has given me my red triangle sign, got my 4th TV programme on after 3 years wait, got me to visit a whole lot of my neighbours, got my car fixed for a reasonable price, stopped my broadband being down too long for me to miss a quiz round here or elsewhere, turned up more old signs whenever I was at a loose end, and located boxes of old photos I'd forgotten where they were. Just the ones I remember. There are now many more things I'd like, and no reason not to expect them now. Besides the obvious woman, newspaper article and enlightenment although with all of them there wouldn't be much more needed really. I've completed my main projects now, any council replies are up to them and any more is a mystery.
There is also a list of things I've missed and would like back, some of which are possible. There's a gold ring I was wearing when I moved house in 1995 and didn't put in the jewellery box and was likely to have hidden elsewhere, a TV series I'd like to see again I missed when it was repeated last year all in a single showing, various people I'd like to see again from the past, at least find out exactly where the old roundabout sign was I saw last summer, and many more others like that which may happen if things go my way. Through the internet I've got a record, a couple of TV films, and various other items so rare I'd never have located them otherwise, so can happen. And of course get an article in a daily paper at last.
So, I am free, anything can happen and since the guidance started it's all happened as it should, and when it went quiet very quickly something else has turned up. As a psychic friend says if it happens a few times it's chance, if it happens a few hundred it's real. This has carried on for around two months and no reason to see it ending now. Maybe I've hooked into a kind of energy field, or whatever, but the results are there and speak for themselves. Read back a year or two and you'll see these events have been an exception until now.
In the last few weeks it has given me my red triangle sign, got my 4th TV programme on after 3 years wait, got me to visit a whole lot of my neighbours, got my car fixed for a reasonable price, stopped my broadband being down too long for me to miss a quiz round here or elsewhere, turned up more old signs whenever I was at a loose end, and located boxes of old photos I'd forgotten where they were. Just the ones I remember. There are now many more things I'd like, and no reason not to expect them now. Besides the obvious woman, newspaper article and enlightenment although with all of them there wouldn't be much more needed really. I've completed my main projects now, any council replies are up to them and any more is a mystery.
There is also a list of things I've missed and would like back, some of which are possible. There's a gold ring I was wearing when I moved house in 1995 and didn't put in the jewellery box and was likely to have hidden elsewhere, a TV series I'd like to see again I missed when it was repeated last year all in a single showing, various people I'd like to see again from the past, at least find out exactly where the old roundabout sign was I saw last summer, and many more others like that which may happen if things go my way. Through the internet I've got a record, a couple of TV films, and various other items so rare I'd never have located them otherwise, so can happen. And of course get an article in a daily paper at last.
So, I am free, anything can happen and since the guidance started it's all happened as it should, and when it went quiet very quickly something else has turned up. As a psychic friend says if it happens a few times it's chance, if it happens a few hundred it's real. This has carried on for around two months and no reason to see it ending now. Maybe I've hooked into a kind of energy field, or whatever, but the results are there and speak for themselves. Read back a year or two and you'll see these events have been an exception until now.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
At last!
My patience has been rewarded. At about 7pm last night this turned up in my Flickr messages in Bethnal Green.
Being such a huge place it's not too surprising since the last few only went last year on major roads the odd one would be hiding in the back doubles. Looking at them all now it would have taken more than my lifetime to cover enough Streetview for even one of them, and by the time I had it may well have been gone like the last three had. So I am now free to get on with anything else I like. I'll look for more when there's nothing to do, of course one without a lump out of it would help, but that is not unusual. I'm also writing two more articles and will be sending them to mass market magazines now, as with ten or more years having them published within the profession should have reached the point I can contribute to somewhere commercial. No more ideas besides a possible bill for the car that may reach its value, but they do that, don't they. Brakes don't last forever and these have worn to nothing for the second time in my life since I owned a car. And two tyres in a year and a half. Michelin, in case anyone there reads this. If it cost nothing I'd post them both back to France and tell them I'm buying Russian ones again in future as they lasted for years and cost half as much. Or Bulgarian.
Being such a huge place it's not too surprising since the last few only went last year on major roads the odd one would be hiding in the back doubles. Looking at them all now it would have taken more than my lifetime to cover enough Streetview for even one of them, and by the time I had it may well have been gone like the last three had. So I am now free to get on with anything else I like. I'll look for more when there's nothing to do, of course one without a lump out of it would help, but that is not unusual. I'm also writing two more articles and will be sending them to mass market magazines now, as with ten or more years having them published within the profession should have reached the point I can contribute to somewhere commercial. No more ideas besides a possible bill for the car that may reach its value, but they do that, don't they. Brakes don't last forever and these have worn to nothing for the second time in my life since I owned a car. And two tyres in a year and a half. Michelin, in case anyone there reads this. If it cost nothing I'd post them both back to France and tell them I'm buying Russian ones again in future as they lasted for years and cost half as much. Or Bulgarian.
I also met my friend Lesley from www.funtrivia.com on Tuesday with her son, which shows the friends we make online are no different from any other way, except they nearly all live too far to see more than once in a blue moon. So I'm more or less free now, no more searching required at last and sent about 10 councils emails looking for these signs, two have come back negative but more are investigating, and I can easily email every one for 50 miles just in case. Maybe it'll be a girlfriend next. It can happen.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
In the gap
I am currently battling the boredom gremlin, it comes and goes, sometimes with its cousin the hopeless gremlin. I see the current of guidance continue, but is so bloody slow and trivial a lot of the time it isn't quite dramatic enough yet to take me out of it. Nothing's bad now, but no real profit. No big win. No effort or planning required for those, we all buy a ticket and a few people who did exactly what the others did get a big win. No different from life. Qualifications are the equivalent of being rich enough to buy a few hundred tickets, but the quality of life they give you is not. That is the difference.
Philosophy out of the way I am still hoping for a little more, a larger profit. How long do I need to wait? You don't get a prize when you're no longer able to use it. I could have a child at 80 but how long would I have to get to know it? That's what I mean. Or fame. After months of inactivity my Youtube enlightenment videos have all arrived again though, taking me back to my main plan after a detour. And making a few more videos myself again. Tomorrow is a bit of a test (like the world will listen), I have no plans or ideas or expectations, just time and space. Someone offered a possible sign exactly where I was planning to go on Sunday, although I thought I'd looked there already. That will be interesting. If it's all guided then even the speed (lack of it) is for a purpose. But why make me bored or impatient? I can't do much with that can I?
Things appear to finally be aiming where I want whatever I seem to do now, but the pace is incredibly slow. I don't appreciate hours in front of this screen as there's nothing better to do, I get little out of it and expect few others do. But even my inspiration seems not to be mine. I just get an idea. It wasn't one I'd finally worked out, but one that could have come to me at any time. My latest music video is a tune I heard in a dream, and although in the past the inspiration and guidance was rare, it seems once I had an event beyond the random coincidences we all get, the guidance has now been continuous. Each time I think I've run out then something arrives, for weeks now. I hope no more signs turn up the other side of London, that's beyond the call of duty, but any others within 30 miles are welcome if they arrive. I've now emailed some councils asking if they have any hiding as Streetview is good for direction signs at junctions but not any others. I will see there. But it seems now I've run out of this project the enlightenment one may pick back up, as if that comes then the ups and downs won't matter, so I'm told.
Philosophy out of the way I am still hoping for a little more, a larger profit. How long do I need to wait? You don't get a prize when you're no longer able to use it. I could have a child at 80 but how long would I have to get to know it? That's what I mean. Or fame. After months of inactivity my Youtube enlightenment videos have all arrived again though, taking me back to my main plan after a detour. And making a few more videos myself again. Tomorrow is a bit of a test (like the world will listen), I have no plans or ideas or expectations, just time and space. Someone offered a possible sign exactly where I was planning to go on Sunday, although I thought I'd looked there already. That will be interesting. If it's all guided then even the speed (lack of it) is for a purpose. But why make me bored or impatient? I can't do much with that can I?
Things appear to finally be aiming where I want whatever I seem to do now, but the pace is incredibly slow. I don't appreciate hours in front of this screen as there's nothing better to do, I get little out of it and expect few others do. But even my inspiration seems not to be mine. I just get an idea. It wasn't one I'd finally worked out, but one that could have come to me at any time. My latest music video is a tune I heard in a dream, and although in the past the inspiration and guidance was rare, it seems once I had an event beyond the random coincidences we all get, the guidance has now been continuous. Each time I think I've run out then something arrives, for weeks now. I hope no more signs turn up the other side of London, that's beyond the call of duty, but any others within 30 miles are welcome if they arrive. I've now emailed some councils asking if they have any hiding as Streetview is good for direction signs at junctions but not any others. I will see there. But it seems now I've run out of this project the enlightenment one may pick back up, as if that comes then the ups and downs won't matter, so I'm told.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Al Gore, leader of the underworld
We rarely get second chances in life but a saviour came my way at the weekend, first finding a sign I missed as it was too dark to see, and then London's only known pre-1963 warning sign (minus triangle on top) meant I was all over East London till today. The first sign had no paint and unlike his daytime shot the flash rendered the first name invisible. No matter, CANNING TOWN below was just legible as well as A13 at the top and can't help the odd ricket when taking photos. But at last I have a London warning sign and may ask if I can get the triangle back on (about £20).
I've been busy working this week, it's been in bunches as long as I remember and followed another drought where everyone starts and stops within a week of each other. Like women who start menstruating together although no hormones are exchanged in these cases. Accounts to enter tomorrow, 3 months have been saved for me, the quarterly entry is months late and out of my hands, I only do what I'm asked to do. It was my only outside job (across the road) until the marriage broke up so the stuff arrives in a bag now to do right here. Meanwhile the councils are behaving nicely, letting me know they are on the case and will let me know when they get a result, except one I will email soon to see what the fucking hell he thinks he's doing. Basically if it's a no, then tell me, and if it's a wait then tell me. You don't just vanish for nearly two months after a phone call and email from me giving him all the information he asked me for. He was a nice bloke but what sort of sense and manners does it make just to leave it alone whatever the outcome?
Plans? Well I was bloody tired after coming in from all directions at 1am (to avoid the traffic taking signs) and had today in this chair to recover. Tomorrow is accounts and some gardening, and Saturday suspect more accounts and gardening. I must trust the future as long as tomorrow is covered each day. I didn't search for the latest sign, besides a tagged photo search, but someone else found it for me. I just need one photo of one complete with a triangle now but not having one I could have got for 40 years made sure I took every one however inconvenient it was to get there, including two trips to New Cross in three days. Whitechapel and Clapton last two as well. I'm Streetviewing every road in London now in case and suspect every humped or metered road ripped out anything old when they were fucking it up for the motorists. I barely see a residential road without humps and I'd like to stick brambles up every councillor's wife's vagina so they know how they make us feel in our cars. Like an eye for an eye but a little lower and ruder.
So I must stop any impatience as although today was relaxing so little happened and so little is known ahead it is getting boring already. The media are still silent, two TV and one paper is currently still alive although more dormant than Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh (a volcano which last erupted millions of years ago). The women are not dormant, they are dead so I must start from scratch with no one from my past now on the system. Without being married 24 years (mostly) doing one woman is getting close. I did stop for girlfriends but got right back on after each. Needless to say she wasn't single or bothered either, just a very long term habit we'd become used to. That's now finally moved on and discovered there wasn't anyone left to fill that space.
How long it will take for the new data on global (not) warming to reach enough people to kill the myth altogether is a sociological conundrum. Each week more data arrives showing ice did not melt in the past or present as temperatures rose, CO2 concentrations are within normal levels and rose after the temperature anyway, carbon credits are fraud, carbon taxes are theft (obtaining money by deception), polar bears are thriving, and most of all average temperatures stopped rising in 1998.
The religious propensity of the warmists is such it rejects all and every item of material that doesn't fit their bible (written by Al Gore, who makes Rupert Murdoch seem human), and they are quickly becoming as much of an enemy as muslim terrorists, who just killed a 7 year old Israeli boy with an axe 'for occupying Arab lands' as quoted by Hamas who carried it out. I think that says it all. So far no green activists have murdered anyone, but by slowly reducing power in poor areas people will die of cold (yes, it still gets cold, you wouldn't believe it after listening to them for a while) and related illnesses so in a way they are just as dangerous and harder to trace cause and effect. Rich people can afford carbon taxes but as we all have to pay the same ones then it will come from the food and heating budgets for many. The warmists are wrong, cruel and mentally naive and their leaders who like me, know the truth, are pure evil. Of course Al Gore knows it's a crock and laughs his arse off every day watching the masses run around and do his work for him willingly. What a fucking arsehole he truly is.
I've been busy working this week, it's been in bunches as long as I remember and followed another drought where everyone starts and stops within a week of each other. Like women who start menstruating together although no hormones are exchanged in these cases. Accounts to enter tomorrow, 3 months have been saved for me, the quarterly entry is months late and out of my hands, I only do what I'm asked to do. It was my only outside job (across the road) until the marriage broke up so the stuff arrives in a bag now to do right here. Meanwhile the councils are behaving nicely, letting me know they are on the case and will let me know when they get a result, except one I will email soon to see what the fucking hell he thinks he's doing. Basically if it's a no, then tell me, and if it's a wait then tell me. You don't just vanish for nearly two months after a phone call and email from me giving him all the information he asked me for. He was a nice bloke but what sort of sense and manners does it make just to leave it alone whatever the outcome?
Plans? Well I was bloody tired after coming in from all directions at 1am (to avoid the traffic taking signs) and had today in this chair to recover. Tomorrow is accounts and some gardening, and Saturday suspect more accounts and gardening. I must trust the future as long as tomorrow is covered each day. I didn't search for the latest sign, besides a tagged photo search, but someone else found it for me. I just need one photo of one complete with a triangle now but not having one I could have got for 40 years made sure I took every one however inconvenient it was to get there, including two trips to New Cross in three days. Whitechapel and Clapton last two as well. I'm Streetviewing every road in London now in case and suspect every humped or metered road ripped out anything old when they were fucking it up for the motorists. I barely see a residential road without humps and I'd like to stick brambles up every councillor's wife's vagina so they know how they make us feel in our cars. Like an eye for an eye but a little lower and ruder.
So I must stop any impatience as although today was relaxing so little happened and so little is known ahead it is getting boring already. The media are still silent, two TV and one paper is currently still alive although more dormant than Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh (a volcano which last erupted millions of years ago). The women are not dormant, they are dead so I must start from scratch with no one from my past now on the system. Without being married 24 years (mostly) doing one woman is getting close. I did stop for girlfriends but got right back on after each. Needless to say she wasn't single or bothered either, just a very long term habit we'd become used to. That's now finally moved on and discovered there wasn't anyone left to fill that space.
How long it will take for the new data on global (not) warming to reach enough people to kill the myth altogether is a sociological conundrum. Each week more data arrives showing ice did not melt in the past or present as temperatures rose, CO2 concentrations are within normal levels and rose after the temperature anyway, carbon credits are fraud, carbon taxes are theft (obtaining money by deception), polar bears are thriving, and most of all average temperatures stopped rising in 1998.
The religious propensity of the warmists is such it rejects all and every item of material that doesn't fit their bible (written by Al Gore, who makes Rupert Murdoch seem human), and they are quickly becoming as much of an enemy as muslim terrorists, who just killed a 7 year old Israeli boy with an axe 'for occupying Arab lands' as quoted by Hamas who carried it out. I think that says it all. So far no green activists have murdered anyone, but by slowly reducing power in poor areas people will die of cold (yes, it still gets cold, you wouldn't believe it after listening to them for a while) and related illnesses so in a way they are just as dangerous and harder to trace cause and effect. Rich people can afford carbon taxes but as we all have to pay the same ones then it will come from the food and heating budgets for many. The warmists are wrong, cruel and mentally naive and their leaders who like me, know the truth, are pure evil. Of course Al Gore knows it's a crock and laughs his arse off every day watching the masses run around and do his work for him willingly. What a fucking arsehole he truly is.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
This week's progress
No, don't titter, I've been too busy actually doing things this week to stop and write about them. I exaggerate partly as half the work has been scanning Google streetview, but having missed taking the old junction sign near me it's my karma to scan every bloody road in London just in case there's one left. But it's fun, just would have been totally unnecessary had I just done what was needed.
But then I emailed someone to check the one in New Cross was still there and after I'd returned the reply came back there was another one down the road and I went back two days later and got probably London's only old One Way Street sign, albeit needing a good coat of paint on the lettering. And found an old A3200 sign on the way after the couple I knew had been missed. So a good result but a good deal of effort to get it. I'm now complete besides a red triangle sign and as not usually not on main roads need a lot of work and luck to find one.
So besides trawling the internet all day (that isn't new either) I have no idea what's next. But whatever the flow has brought me since it began has continued so am still trusting it whatever. The crossroads sign arrived and is the rare painted one, and the white paint is nearly all gone. No idea how it'll clean up as without raised letters may need more work than I'm able to do. But cheap and legible so can't complain. So I'll trust ahead and see whatever comes, I've more or less googled all the main road junctions I can think of, and my team still pass new ones over from time to time although my map is nearly all coloured in now so few locations left to know. The councils are slowly replying, still more questions than answers (99%) but if it guides them to an answer it will be worth it. Nothing from BBC radio (book) or TV (alien abductees) though but that is hardly a surprise. Or any other media I started working with. Now somehow although I've been too busy to care, I must sort out a woman somehow sooner or later. I can't go to M&S to pick one like I can a DVD player or pair of jeans, and once I finally find a single one who isn't frightening physically and/or mentally there's little success trying to gain their interest.
But I'm only used to mechanical pursuits of success, writing, studying and searching. Women are not capable of fitting into a mathematical or statistical equation or formula and when younger I just went out a few nights a week and tried every reasonable looking one until I got lucky. The social scene for over 40s singles is one which overlapped with my own in my 20s and 30s and basically anyone with more than a few O levels wouldn't be seen dead there so will not meet anyone suitable especially as the supply of mentally challenged patients is over represented there as well. The fact over half the women I've been out with for half my life were part of it does not mean I go looking for problems. The people themselves are usually unaffected bar the worst, but have ups and downs. Inevitably the downs have them off to hospital for weeks or months and doesn't lead to any sort of a relationship. They are as regular as the seasons and although some have found tablets to recover most seem condemned to recurrence for most of their lives.
But I don't dwell on it any more as I've seen it's out of my hands. Googling roads is not and neither is writing articles which I'm continuing to do as well instead of here, although many overlap. Ideas come by filling an open page and some prove invaluable. And then I teach them to others. No credit for it besides normal clients and unpaid articles but many writers and artists go unnoticed for most or all their lives so nothing unusual there. Being qualified or published removes any need for false modesty as if others acknowledge your talent then you needn't pretend you haven't any. You wouldn't want to hear your doctor say 'Well I only follow the books and trust to luck' but anything not an official profession you have to pretend you're not really up to scratch but somehow you've been lucky and anyone else who did what you did could get the same had it happened to them as well. Now few untalented people do well but many do badly as supply has always outstripped demand. The same few people act, write articles and books and the fact so many are related to others in the same field explains who gets the first go and everyone else is left as afterthoughts. If your parents are lawyers no amount of bribery can make their children lawyers, you either pass the exams or not. Unlike any media work. No qualifications needed, just talent and an open door usually with the same surname as you. But I did pass my first law exams as well though as a backup plan.
But then I emailed someone to check the one in New Cross was still there and after I'd returned the reply came back there was another one down the road and I went back two days later and got probably London's only old One Way Street sign, albeit needing a good coat of paint on the lettering. And found an old A3200 sign on the way after the couple I knew had been missed. So a good result but a good deal of effort to get it. I'm now complete besides a red triangle sign and as not usually not on main roads need a lot of work and luck to find one.
So besides trawling the internet all day (that isn't new either) I have no idea what's next. But whatever the flow has brought me since it began has continued so am still trusting it whatever. The crossroads sign arrived and is the rare painted one, and the white paint is nearly all gone. No idea how it'll clean up as without raised letters may need more work than I'm able to do. But cheap and legible so can't complain. So I'll trust ahead and see whatever comes, I've more or less googled all the main road junctions I can think of, and my team still pass new ones over from time to time although my map is nearly all coloured in now so few locations left to know. The councils are slowly replying, still more questions than answers (99%) but if it guides them to an answer it will be worth it. Nothing from BBC radio (book) or TV (alien abductees) though but that is hardly a surprise. Or any other media I started working with. Now somehow although I've been too busy to care, I must sort out a woman somehow sooner or later. I can't go to M&S to pick one like I can a DVD player or pair of jeans, and once I finally find a single one who isn't frightening physically and/or mentally there's little success trying to gain their interest.
But I'm only used to mechanical pursuits of success, writing, studying and searching. Women are not capable of fitting into a mathematical or statistical equation or formula and when younger I just went out a few nights a week and tried every reasonable looking one until I got lucky. The social scene for over 40s singles is one which overlapped with my own in my 20s and 30s and basically anyone with more than a few O levels wouldn't be seen dead there so will not meet anyone suitable especially as the supply of mentally challenged patients is over represented there as well. The fact over half the women I've been out with for half my life were part of it does not mean I go looking for problems. The people themselves are usually unaffected bar the worst, but have ups and downs. Inevitably the downs have them off to hospital for weeks or months and doesn't lead to any sort of a relationship. They are as regular as the seasons and although some have found tablets to recover most seem condemned to recurrence for most of their lives.
But I don't dwell on it any more as I've seen it's out of my hands. Googling roads is not and neither is writing articles which I'm continuing to do as well instead of here, although many overlap. Ideas come by filling an open page and some prove invaluable. And then I teach them to others. No credit for it besides normal clients and unpaid articles but many writers and artists go unnoticed for most or all their lives so nothing unusual there. Being qualified or published removes any need for false modesty as if others acknowledge your talent then you needn't pretend you haven't any. You wouldn't want to hear your doctor say 'Well I only follow the books and trust to luck' but anything not an official profession you have to pretend you're not really up to scratch but somehow you've been lucky and anyone else who did what you did could get the same had it happened to them as well. Now few untalented people do well but many do badly as supply has always outstripped demand. The same few people act, write articles and books and the fact so many are related to others in the same field explains who gets the first go and everyone else is left as afterthoughts. If your parents are lawyers no amount of bribery can make their children lawyers, you either pass the exams or not. Unlike any media work. No qualifications needed, just talent and an open door usually with the same surname as you. But I did pass my first law exams as well though as a backup plan.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
The flow continues
I can say the system is still working, the business issue is taken care of and the rest can follow. Still even getting more old signs, and with Google streetview saved hundreds of car miles looking online, finding one more after the 4th day of eliminating roads. Now I've got another trip over the river at night but can't cut corners (pun intended).
Other than that free, gardening to do and that's about it. Plenty of jobs done last week, shopping, got a photo back from a video of an old sign that crept in unnoticed and now needs cleaning up to get it in focus. That's with a friend who knows how and hope it can be done.
My old road sign from Ebay is on its way and may clean up as a previously unknown flat version rather than cast iron. But a lot cheaper than others I've come across. No one else has replied from the council or the media (TV and papers) but they can fuck themselves. If they end up delivering it will be nice but am no longer caring what any twat in authority does for the rest of my life. I'm not their playthings however much they like to use us as one. When of course they're not playing with their own. I reckon if I was on a request, if it was a no of course you should say immediately, and if it's very complex and needs working on I'd send an email to say it was being taken care of. Not from these articles, half never reply at all and the others come back with yet more questions to incredibly simple requests. Almost impossible to implement but bloody easy to understand.
So I have stayed in the flow now since it began, and everything has arrived that has just as it was meant to. Of course there's a lot more that could happen but at least I'm no longer attached to that. And I'm completely mystified how I'll get another woman's attention after my standby met someone else after 24 years on and off (mainly on), as no others I met lasted long enough to drop her. I usually had one or two other reserves who were like eating pot noodles rather than a proper meal but pretty reliable in the same way. I met them in 1982, 1984 and 1987 so that period of my life when there was a reasonable supply, who I kept connected with for decades since is over by half a lifetime. The few since have come and gone (in all ways) very quickly, and any of the level I was actually interested in didn't often do anything before they buggered off either. But after decades of getting the sexual equivalent of rice and chick peas but regularly to literally nothing is something that needs to be remedied, but without resorting to payment for the first time ever, can't imagine what I can do.
But then again, if I'm in the flow, that has to include everything and should just turn up in the same way. If you're looking for something in particular you hardly ever find it, but often find something else. The more specific you are the less likely you are to get what you want to. So whatever comes the order doesn't matter and is in no way connected to the amount of work I put into it, besides the most basic scanning roads which is not complicated enough to require more than a blanket search.
Other than that free, gardening to do and that's about it. Plenty of jobs done last week, shopping, got a photo back from a video of an old sign that crept in unnoticed and now needs cleaning up to get it in focus. That's with a friend who knows how and hope it can be done.
My old road sign from Ebay is on its way and may clean up as a previously unknown flat version rather than cast iron. But a lot cheaper than others I've come across. No one else has replied from the council or the media (TV and papers) but they can fuck themselves. If they end up delivering it will be nice but am no longer caring what any twat in authority does for the rest of my life. I'm not their playthings however much they like to use us as one. When of course they're not playing with their own. I reckon if I was on a request, if it was a no of course you should say immediately, and if it's very complex and needs working on I'd send an email to say it was being taken care of. Not from these articles, half never reply at all and the others come back with yet more questions to incredibly simple requests. Almost impossible to implement but bloody easy to understand.
So I have stayed in the flow now since it began, and everything has arrived that has just as it was meant to. Of course there's a lot more that could happen but at least I'm no longer attached to that. And I'm completely mystified how I'll get another woman's attention after my standby met someone else after 24 years on and off (mainly on), as no others I met lasted long enough to drop her. I usually had one or two other reserves who were like eating pot noodles rather than a proper meal but pretty reliable in the same way. I met them in 1982, 1984 and 1987 so that period of my life when there was a reasonable supply, who I kept connected with for decades since is over by half a lifetime. The few since have come and gone (in all ways) very quickly, and any of the level I was actually interested in didn't often do anything before they buggered off either. But after decades of getting the sexual equivalent of rice and chick peas but regularly to literally nothing is something that needs to be remedied, but without resorting to payment for the first time ever, can't imagine what I can do.
But then again, if I'm in the flow, that has to include everything and should just turn up in the same way. If you're looking for something in particular you hardly ever find it, but often find something else. The more specific you are the less likely you are to get what you want to. So whatever comes the order doesn't matter and is in no way connected to the amount of work I put into it, besides the most basic scanning roads which is not complicated enough to require more than a blanket search.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
It can go either way today
I had stopped all the spiritual stuff as it had run out but with the new trust in the system, which will have to screw up majorly before I drop my acceptance of it. Now why it would take 49 years before I was allowed this privilege is not clear, except that when things have been held back in the recent past it was to make me get more before I got them. Except I have not got them. I did get more I didn't know about first as I didn't have anything better, but so far, nothing better.
This means there is a growing list of 'nots'. From those I lost in childhood I haven't got back, ever since, and those I am currently attempting to get. Few have died either but the progress is slow enough to leave yawning gaps where I feel I could be wasting time as I run out of things to do. No more old signs left. Wherever they were within reach in 3 months I have reached all if not nearly all of them, so today will probably do a bit of speculative shopping (for things that are probably not available there) locally, one work booking (all week that is) and the rest is only known on the day or just before. That is the downside of all downsides of being alone, as you have no one else to make the journey interesting. If there's nothing to do for most people they talk. I can't.
I emailed 17 local papers with the sign story two asked me for, nothing. Little surprise there. I don't like wasting time but even now for instance I am writing this as there isn't anything else left to do. I end up imagining how nice it would be if something good happened by the end of the day to wipe it out but besides finding the signs already (and an old photo of them yesterday, although not my own), nothing. I don't expect too much. Nearly everyone else isn't alone even if not living with a partner. And even those who are are rarely only children as we are the exception. When our parents die unless we're married or have our own children that's it. And those with partners did not need to earn them by having a job either, the two things are not connected. So that's one fate I was inexplicably given. And the TV and media work is the result of years of activities however little I do now. So besides not being related to effort I don't think success is related to deserving it or much else, you either get it or not with no connection to the reasons others assume are required.
Well today is a good test. I have a clear view ahead (clear of anything worthwhile that is) and you can't have a theory without it being checked. The system can't just start and break down as soon as it's under pressure. Then it's not a system at all. I will see.
This means there is a growing list of 'nots'. From those I lost in childhood I haven't got back, ever since, and those I am currently attempting to get. Few have died either but the progress is slow enough to leave yawning gaps where I feel I could be wasting time as I run out of things to do. No more old signs left. Wherever they were within reach in 3 months I have reached all if not nearly all of them, so today will probably do a bit of speculative shopping (for things that are probably not available there) locally, one work booking (all week that is) and the rest is only known on the day or just before. That is the downside of all downsides of being alone, as you have no one else to make the journey interesting. If there's nothing to do for most people they talk. I can't.
I emailed 17 local papers with the sign story two asked me for, nothing. Little surprise there. I don't like wasting time but even now for instance I am writing this as there isn't anything else left to do. I end up imagining how nice it would be if something good happened by the end of the day to wipe it out but besides finding the signs already (and an old photo of them yesterday, although not my own), nothing. I don't expect too much. Nearly everyone else isn't alone even if not living with a partner. And even those who are are rarely only children as we are the exception. When our parents die unless we're married or have our own children that's it. And those with partners did not need to earn them by having a job either, the two things are not connected. So that's one fate I was inexplicably given. And the TV and media work is the result of years of activities however little I do now. So besides not being related to effort I don't think success is related to deserving it or much else, you either get it or not with no connection to the reasons others assume are required.
Well today is a good test. I have a clear view ahead (clear of anything worthwhile that is) and you can't have a theory without it being checked. The system can't just start and break down as soon as it's under pressure. Then it's not a system at all. I will see.
Friday, March 13, 2009
A missing entry replaced?
I thought I wrote something the other day but it's not here. I have another blog but thought I did both but no matter. Basically (I said London had no signs left to find last time) I had a free night on Monday and searched 3421 London old sign photos. Half way through one popped up I hadn't seen and on the way found another and a third I knew about on a slight accidental detour as they had given a slightly wrong address and not where it was supposed to be. Very interesting.
So since then I've had no plans at all. But after that I trusted things seem to be taken care of, and although I've done nothing important since I've kept occupied and not actually wasted the free time. Nothing around me has really changed, the news is shite and my social life is even worse, but I have my interests and nothing stops them. I've scanned all my road photos back to 1969, and looked through all the others from 1950-80 of London as well. If there is indeed a new flow I am now going with it. Up till now all synchronicity was in the form of echoes, hearing the same word/phrase a few times, which is recognised and called the Baader-Meinhof effect. Interesting but useless beyond showing a background controller. But Monday followed all the influences described in Autobiography of a Yogi, from controlling thoughts and actions to timing. If it's happened now it should now mean I've crossed that line and is supposed to signify spiritual development.
In the logical side many of these phenomena exist at quantum level and they are now beginning to realise they are not limited there but affect us at all levels. We always knew but they couldn't prove it. Besides a bit of boredom and impatience nothing's actually gone wrong since then, and something really awful would have to to make me doubt the flow had now been entered.
Every attempt I have made has been forgotten like a lottery ticket (had I the lack of IQ to buy them), as if you have nothing and ask for something you still have nothing so can only live with that. The attempts are currently for: (I have added the likely chances)
1) A book to be published of my sign photos (0.01%)
2) An article to be written about my old sign campaign (50%)
3) An old sign to be put back (1%)
4) The location of an old sign to be discovered (50% although probably was removed)
5) An ex to get back on track, besides an 80 mile gap between us (5%)
6) Writing online crosswords (98% as I have already)
7) Get my final TV programme on (40%)
8) Bid for an old road sign (98%)
9) More old signs in Surrey (80%)
10) A national paper article (1%)
There are probably more but most wither on the vine besides the most likely ones, as they do for all, but when you consider most people's biggest ambition for pleasure is to get married and nearly everyone does, I've missed apparently one of the easiest. No idea why at all. I just heard a lovely single woman on the radio who wants a man, although probably Pakistani, and she had the same results as me for a long time except she was married first. Miles away from me and probably hostile to my ethnicity, and that sort of barrier has plagued every woman since I started looking. Even the hypothetical ones like her. But if my life is now being guided to success every old issue should be corrected. And it'll be about bloody time.
So since then I've had no plans at all. But after that I trusted things seem to be taken care of, and although I've done nothing important since I've kept occupied and not actually wasted the free time. Nothing around me has really changed, the news is shite and my social life is even worse, but I have my interests and nothing stops them. I've scanned all my road photos back to 1969, and looked through all the others from 1950-80 of London as well. If there is indeed a new flow I am now going with it. Up till now all synchronicity was in the form of echoes, hearing the same word/phrase a few times, which is recognised and called the Baader-Meinhof effect. Interesting but useless beyond showing a background controller. But Monday followed all the influences described in Autobiography of a Yogi, from controlling thoughts and actions to timing. If it's happened now it should now mean I've crossed that line and is supposed to signify spiritual development.
In the logical side many of these phenomena exist at quantum level and they are now beginning to realise they are not limited there but affect us at all levels. We always knew but they couldn't prove it. Besides a bit of boredom and impatience nothing's actually gone wrong since then, and something really awful would have to to make me doubt the flow had now been entered.
Every attempt I have made has been forgotten like a lottery ticket (had I the lack of IQ to buy them), as if you have nothing and ask for something you still have nothing so can only live with that. The attempts are currently for: (I have added the likely chances)
1) A book to be published of my sign photos (0.01%)
2) An article to be written about my old sign campaign (50%)
3) An old sign to be put back (1%)
4) The location of an old sign to be discovered (50% although probably was removed)
5) An ex to get back on track, besides an 80 mile gap between us (5%)
6) Writing online crosswords (98% as I have already)
7) Get my final TV programme on (40%)
8) Bid for an old road sign (98%)
9) More old signs in Surrey (80%)
10) A national paper article (1%)
There are probably more but most wither on the vine besides the most likely ones, as they do for all, but when you consider most people's biggest ambition for pleasure is to get married and nearly everyone does, I've missed apparently one of the easiest. No idea why at all. I just heard a lovely single woman on the radio who wants a man, although probably Pakistani, and she had the same results as me for a long time except she was married first. Miles away from me and probably hostile to my ethnicity, and that sort of barrier has plagued every woman since I started looking. Even the hypothetical ones like her. But if my life is now being guided to success every old issue should be corrected. And it'll be about bloody time.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Learning from experience
Well the good news (nice for a change) is the old psychic powers are back and better than before. I get a brown (government) agency every month or two, and had no reason to expect one, and as I walked downstairs this morning felt there was one on the mat. My old abilities were similar in picking up post and other bad news before I got home, or if it arrived knew what was in it. But picking up an exact item regardless is beyond anything I've done before so was very impressed when there it was exactly as I saw it, on the middle of the mat, when I came down. And it was a copy of one they sent last week so definitely not expected and not bad either so have spread beyond the negative.
Besides that I am getting back to life off the road. I've done sign trips more or less daily since late November, and my London map is coloured in now more or less. Only trips on the way elsewhere now for odd roads parallel to others I go on. I've walked in the park with the camera, done the local shops, and am getting back into life around Kingsbury after doing a 20 mile circle plus other extras when needed. It'll save the car and the pocket but need another occupation now. All my projects are out of my hands now, but I think sign 1 is up for listing soon so a possible victory, possibly with two to follow. I also sent an email to 17 local papers about the campaign, hoping one will bite. As most are from the same few offices no more were required. So tomorrow looks like no further than Hendon and besides the maxim the time is irrelevant if the result is good, still have sod all to do until something else happens.
So having the freedom is a start but all these years of finding things to do alone are running out of new material. Hooking up with the old LB Barnet mental health care group is not better than that either, and I get nothing from the women involved except demands and aggravation. The best one has little to offer now as she has no interest in men at all. We spent 6 years travelling the country, she can't drive so we covered places like Winchester, Henley, Blackheath, High Wycombe, Crowthorne and Chorleywood, but I'm older and tireder and for no 'returns' have used up that particular seam. It's a shame as she is reasonable company and although not officially attractive turns me on. Total waste as per.
So the bottom line is nothing, minus some money. None of my plans could get me anything, no newspaper articles, signs preserved or put back, TV programme or any other dead or dying issues. Of course until you have something you have nothing, but I rank all my somethings and none yet are enough to make a difference besides getting the one missing sign I needed but incomplete. That is the best of all results so far and every higher ranked outcome also has a lower chance of happening. And an article about me in the Sussex advertiser isn't really going to propel my cause that far but will at least bring more enthusiasts out of the woodwork. The number of people I've had picking up train tickets, writing down car number plates and now spotting old road signs shows if people become aware of what is around them they start to take an interest. I also now have one of the biggest photographic collection (certainly online) of old road signs in the UK, despite coming in at the tail end. Many are the only ones online and could easily have not been recorded (like thousands before them) had I not taken them.
I learnt a lot, like we all miss some really big things by taking them for granted, and never trust anyone in authority, and that is called experience. You only trust anyone in authority after they've delivered, till then it's all words, at best.
Besides that I am getting back to life off the road. I've done sign trips more or less daily since late November, and my London map is coloured in now more or less. Only trips on the way elsewhere now for odd roads parallel to others I go on. I've walked in the park with the camera, done the local shops, and am getting back into life around Kingsbury after doing a 20 mile circle plus other extras when needed. It'll save the car and the pocket but need another occupation now. All my projects are out of my hands now, but I think sign 1 is up for listing soon so a possible victory, possibly with two to follow. I also sent an email to 17 local papers about the campaign, hoping one will bite. As most are from the same few offices no more were required. So tomorrow looks like no further than Hendon and besides the maxim the time is irrelevant if the result is good, still have sod all to do until something else happens.
So having the freedom is a start but all these years of finding things to do alone are running out of new material. Hooking up with the old LB Barnet mental health care group is not better than that either, and I get nothing from the women involved except demands and aggravation. The best one has little to offer now as she has no interest in men at all. We spent 6 years travelling the country, she can't drive so we covered places like Winchester, Henley, Blackheath, High Wycombe, Crowthorne and Chorleywood, but I'm older and tireder and for no 'returns' have used up that particular seam. It's a shame as she is reasonable company and although not officially attractive turns me on. Total waste as per.
So the bottom line is nothing, minus some money. None of my plans could get me anything, no newspaper articles, signs preserved or put back, TV programme or any other dead or dying issues. Of course until you have something you have nothing, but I rank all my somethings and none yet are enough to make a difference besides getting the one missing sign I needed but incomplete. That is the best of all results so far and every higher ranked outcome also has a lower chance of happening. And an article about me in the Sussex advertiser isn't really going to propel my cause that far but will at least bring more enthusiasts out of the woodwork. The number of people I've had picking up train tickets, writing down car number plates and now spotting old road signs shows if people become aware of what is around them they start to take an interest. I also now have one of the biggest photographic collection (certainly online) of old road signs in the UK, despite coming in at the tail end. Many are the only ones online and could easily have not been recorded (like thousands before them) had I not taken them.
I learnt a lot, like we all miss some really big things by taking them for granted, and never trust anyone in authority, and that is called experience. You only trust anyone in authority after they've delivered, till then it's all words, at best.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Filling time
I've reached another of those points where I have the time but few ideas to fill it. The time either side of work today was fairly well used, I became proactive with the newspapers, summarising my previous interviews and sending them one by one to every local paper in the country until one is used. As two already showed an interest I'm hoping to make it before 100.
Otherwise I am not any closer to any of my major ambitions, no more replies and one woman I would sell one of my testicles for to use the other on her is married. Not that she wanted me when she wasn't, but maybe time has mellowed her. It certainly has as a person if not her opinion of me. So when in doubt I blog. The comments are not like the old days (and one aspect of that is good if anyone remembers) but the hits are up so know someone's reading it all. Most of the people I was linked to have deleted themselves (and probably didn't save it) which always looks odd to me. If you work on something and get bored, don't destroy it. None deserved destruction and if you aren't going to add to it new people can still read it sometimes.
I've run out of stuff to do now. No more sign trips besides one or two at the weekend down south. But London (besides the far corner) is complete. As each county chooses when they remove the old signs London had so many it ended up with the most, half the surrounding counties lost all theirs long ago. Besides Surrey the handful elsewhere are nearly all known and found now and need a new project now this one is over except the missing red triangle sign.
So I now rely on either inspiration or other people. Neither are controlled by me, and just come when they feel like it. When I've got a day off and nowhere to go and little on TV I run out of steam about 9pm as I have now, and even something I've been waiting for since last night hasn't arrived yet to break the boredom. And the devil can make work, as I start gossiping when bored and like most people have various fascinating facts I'd get shot for if I was caught sharing them, but it does liven things up when you do. Sharing that is, not getting shot. I lost one particularly incriminating link with the old computer I can't get back and would give some laughs to another generation who hadn't yet seen it.
I will go for a walk soon, I haven't been out of the house today but needed a break. And I just heard the inevitable on the news, Obama is raising new carbon taxes. Once the US gets the bug the world has had it. So far they were the final oasis of sense but the Democrats are on the side of the devil on that area and as Al Gore missed out as president Obama has kindly inherited his bullshit which was simply saved for 8 years. While Gore spread it worldwide as not president and they are finally catching up with the rest of the victims. I hope the Americans don't take it like a girl and fight back when they realise they are being robbed. They argued (pointlessly) against rising petrol prices when they were paying the least in the civilised world, and if they vote in the devil they should expect the devil's policies. No doubt Obama has a selection of decent ideas like many of them do, but if he wants to turn the US into a ploughed field with no electricity or motorised transport he will not get very far in the country that taught the rest of the world how to live.
So now I understand people's fear for their families blinds them to the absence of global warming but that is the reason to look and see what is there and see past it. No, warmer temperatures can't hurt anyone. The extremes will but they always have, but more die from the cold than the heat. The sea level rises so slowly it may as well not rise at all, it won't do anything for centuries if it even keeps going. There's literally nothing happening and CO2 is a vital gas for all life besides harmful bacteria. That says a lot really. Remember the demonisation of the Jews? Of course many people keep that one going but there's no basis otherwise we really would own and run the world. It's the same with CO2 and equally ludicrous. It's a fraction of a percent of the air and we contribute about 3%. And that can fuck up the climate? For god's sake! If a student wrote that as an essay they'd be kicked out and sent to the counsellor. But if Roger Revelle, Al Gore and the IPCC say so people chuck money at them. We are in a sick period of ruling, from having our pockets picked by the bankers, which came to light about 10 years too late to save anyone, and no doubt the same thing will happen in a few years when the climate stubbornly refuses to change and they'll have to change the term to 'climate instability' although right now it's going through a stable period.
If anyone offered you a business deal under those terms you'd laugh them out of the office with a boot up the arse for help. You observe in science, prediction is for fortune tellers. The more people wake up to that the fewer will listen to the evil crap they tell us daily to take our money. It's not a theory now, carbon taxes are the first level of a mechanism that will send us all (except the leaders of the system) back to medieval times. Like the Soviet Union, all but the few will be living like animals while they have everything else. For every person who stops believing in the bogeyman one less weight will be on the side of the crooks. Until the tipping point is reached where not enough people trust it for them to keep going, and they'll quietly retire, invest their money and bugger off. We won't get it back but they won't be able to take any more. And it's purely down to each person's belief. One mind to be freed at a time, it's not that hard to do if you check up for yourself.
Otherwise I am not any closer to any of my major ambitions, no more replies and one woman I would sell one of my testicles for to use the other on her is married. Not that she wanted me when she wasn't, but maybe time has mellowed her. It certainly has as a person if not her opinion of me. So when in doubt I blog. The comments are not like the old days (and one aspect of that is good if anyone remembers) but the hits are up so know someone's reading it all. Most of the people I was linked to have deleted themselves (and probably didn't save it) which always looks odd to me. If you work on something and get bored, don't destroy it. None deserved destruction and if you aren't going to add to it new people can still read it sometimes.
I've run out of stuff to do now. No more sign trips besides one or two at the weekend down south. But London (besides the far corner) is complete. As each county chooses when they remove the old signs London had so many it ended up with the most, half the surrounding counties lost all theirs long ago. Besides Surrey the handful elsewhere are nearly all known and found now and need a new project now this one is over except the missing red triangle sign.
So I now rely on either inspiration or other people. Neither are controlled by me, and just come when they feel like it. When I've got a day off and nowhere to go and little on TV I run out of steam about 9pm as I have now, and even something I've been waiting for since last night hasn't arrived yet to break the boredom. And the devil can make work, as I start gossiping when bored and like most people have various fascinating facts I'd get shot for if I was caught sharing them, but it does liven things up when you do. Sharing that is, not getting shot. I lost one particularly incriminating link with the old computer I can't get back and would give some laughs to another generation who hadn't yet seen it.
I will go for a walk soon, I haven't been out of the house today but needed a break. And I just heard the inevitable on the news, Obama is raising new carbon taxes. Once the US gets the bug the world has had it. So far they were the final oasis of sense but the Democrats are on the side of the devil on that area and as Al Gore missed out as president Obama has kindly inherited his bullshit which was simply saved for 8 years. While Gore spread it worldwide as not president and they are finally catching up with the rest of the victims. I hope the Americans don't take it like a girl and fight back when they realise they are being robbed. They argued (pointlessly) against rising petrol prices when they were paying the least in the civilised world, and if they vote in the devil they should expect the devil's policies. No doubt Obama has a selection of decent ideas like many of them do, but if he wants to turn the US into a ploughed field with no electricity or motorised transport he will not get very far in the country that taught the rest of the world how to live.
So now I understand people's fear for their families blinds them to the absence of global warming but that is the reason to look and see what is there and see past it. No, warmer temperatures can't hurt anyone. The extremes will but they always have, but more die from the cold than the heat. The sea level rises so slowly it may as well not rise at all, it won't do anything for centuries if it even keeps going. There's literally nothing happening and CO2 is a vital gas for all life besides harmful bacteria. That says a lot really. Remember the demonisation of the Jews? Of course many people keep that one going but there's no basis otherwise we really would own and run the world. It's the same with CO2 and equally ludicrous. It's a fraction of a percent of the air and we contribute about 3%. And that can fuck up the climate? For god's sake! If a student wrote that as an essay they'd be kicked out and sent to the counsellor. But if Roger Revelle, Al Gore and the IPCC say so people chuck money at them. We are in a sick period of ruling, from having our pockets picked by the bankers, which came to light about 10 years too late to save anyone, and no doubt the same thing will happen in a few years when the climate stubbornly refuses to change and they'll have to change the term to 'climate instability' although right now it's going through a stable period.
If anyone offered you a business deal under those terms you'd laugh them out of the office with a boot up the arse for help. You observe in science, prediction is for fortune tellers. The more people wake up to that the fewer will listen to the evil crap they tell us daily to take our money. It's not a theory now, carbon taxes are the first level of a mechanism that will send us all (except the leaders of the system) back to medieval times. Like the Soviet Union, all but the few will be living like animals while they have everything else. For every person who stops believing in the bogeyman one less weight will be on the side of the crooks. Until the tipping point is reached where not enough people trust it for them to keep going, and they'll quietly retire, invest their money and bugger off. We won't get it back but they won't be able to take any more. And it's purely down to each person's belief. One mind to be freed at a time, it's not that hard to do if you check up for yourself.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
A week of freedom and global lying.
Well well, Blogger was down for about half an hour and as I was about to give up it woke up. That very rarely happens actually. I hope I can remember what I was going to say now.
Well basically I appear (we never really know) to have plenty of freedom now, no local sign trips, one at the weekend and that's about it. I've done so many miles recently a rest is fine and can stay in and piss around for a while with no bad consequences. One more call needs making tomorrow but doubt it can get what I want as I'd checked the area given twice and too small to hide an old sign I suspect. But just in case. The one publisher who may be interested in my book isn't answering the phone, so may well be another victim.
Otherwise it's a mystery. I covered the signs already up to the Berkshire and Sussex border (only Surrey chose to keep their old signs) and besides Tottenham (three stations and doubt much else) one day in the week is clear. I expect the people at the various councils don't want people asking them to do things they consider illegal and probably impossible, but my research tells me the requests I have made are neither and just need someone who is on my side to help. I am now in passive mode, if anyone official calls then wonderful, if not then I have done my part.
I have learnt also that my intuition about people is to be relied on, you see a flaw or a virtue and it comes to the surface or grows sooner or later. I also try and teach the few real sods I do have to mix with quietly in case even one can see the light. It's like playing Jesus but if he managed it (enough people think he did) we all can, and he taught that as well. Meanwhile while I thought the antichrist was Al Gore, we must remember the devil does not come out in the open but hides behind a curtain of good behaviour. Then he slips the shit in and most people miss it.
Barack Hussain Obama is my new candidate, he has just pledged to attack every human in his country by attacking CO2 emissions he knows better than me are harmless. I saw it coming and he didn't take long to show his real self. The senate committee blew the whole lot out of the water in 2007 and despite this he ignored their own findings and ploughed ahead to fill the gap stolen by the banks with our money for carbon taxes. I won't use the C word twice in a year (I promised not to) but what a C. I couldn't vote for him (we have Gordon Brown I wouldn't vote for) and would never have had I been able to either. Watch how he'll gradually crap over every poor and middle class person in The States for the next 4 years while the rich get looked after. Oh, and he's called a Democrat. Just bear in mind I am using intuition and within weeks he proved my first theory right. I can't see Biden making a big deal on the climate just as Bush tried to leave it alone.
Now every statement made by the climate lobby can be beaten by raw facts. And science begins with observation, not prediction. You can't rely on predictions unless they can be repeated and anyone who bases their case on them clearly has no case. And the Earth can warm up a lot with no more consequences than any other climate besides an ice age which we all know is harmful for most. Like we could change it either way. One figure he carefully skirted was the discovery doubling CO2 would still barely effect the climate, let alone the 0.6 degree increase the IPCC figures yielded for the century when every other expert ran the figures they used. Don't let liars run your life, check their lies. We have the internet now where honest experts can post the findings the media avoid. And when people criticised my earlier sources (a technique perfected by the Nazis by the way) my latest is from a Senate Committee. Beat that Al.
Well basically I appear (we never really know) to have plenty of freedom now, no local sign trips, one at the weekend and that's about it. I've done so many miles recently a rest is fine and can stay in and piss around for a while with no bad consequences. One more call needs making tomorrow but doubt it can get what I want as I'd checked the area given twice and too small to hide an old sign I suspect. But just in case. The one publisher who may be interested in my book isn't answering the phone, so may well be another victim.
Otherwise it's a mystery. I covered the signs already up to the Berkshire and Sussex border (only Surrey chose to keep their old signs) and besides Tottenham (three stations and doubt much else) one day in the week is clear. I expect the people at the various councils don't want people asking them to do things they consider illegal and probably impossible, but my research tells me the requests I have made are neither and just need someone who is on my side to help. I am now in passive mode, if anyone official calls then wonderful, if not then I have done my part.
I have learnt also that my intuition about people is to be relied on, you see a flaw or a virtue and it comes to the surface or grows sooner or later. I also try and teach the few real sods I do have to mix with quietly in case even one can see the light. It's like playing Jesus but if he managed it (enough people think he did) we all can, and he taught that as well. Meanwhile while I thought the antichrist was Al Gore, we must remember the devil does not come out in the open but hides behind a curtain of good behaviour. Then he slips the shit in and most people miss it.
Barack Hussain Obama is my new candidate, he has just pledged to attack every human in his country by attacking CO2 emissions he knows better than me are harmless. I saw it coming and he didn't take long to show his real self. The senate committee blew the whole lot out of the water in 2007 and despite this he ignored their own findings and ploughed ahead to fill the gap stolen by the banks with our money for carbon taxes. I won't use the C word twice in a year (I promised not to) but what a C. I couldn't vote for him (we have Gordon Brown I wouldn't vote for) and would never have had I been able to either. Watch how he'll gradually crap over every poor and middle class person in The States for the next 4 years while the rich get looked after. Oh, and he's called a Democrat. Just bear in mind I am using intuition and within weeks he proved my first theory right. I can't see Biden making a big deal on the climate just as Bush tried to leave it alone.
Now every statement made by the climate lobby can be beaten by raw facts. And science begins with observation, not prediction. You can't rely on predictions unless they can be repeated and anyone who bases their case on them clearly has no case. And the Earth can warm up a lot with no more consequences than any other climate besides an ice age which we all know is harmful for most. Like we could change it either way. One figure he carefully skirted was the discovery doubling CO2 would still barely effect the climate, let alone the 0.6 degree increase the IPCC figures yielded for the century when every other expert ran the figures they used. Don't let liars run your life, check their lies. We have the internet now where honest experts can post the findings the media avoid. And when people criticised my earlier sources (a technique perfected by the Nazis by the way) my latest is from a Senate Committee. Beat that Al.
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