I am watching the system closely at the moment. All's well that ends well has always been my view, and should a system able to deliver that in the short term represent the whole, then it could be possible for every single area of my life to fall into place on its own, as it has the last two days already. I'm not calling this God or any other label as the best logic would tell us it is only our own subconscious pulling the strings and as such not external to our own being. But regardless of source my conscious mind made plans, possibly inspired in themselves, but with only those two specific plans ended up with every possible outcome I hadn't planned or expected and couldn't have if I tried. The road signs are a hobby like any valuable antique collector. They were abandoned in 1963, and the main prohibition and warning signs were replaced soon after, except for a few mainly private roads where they weren't covered by the rules or a few where they were overlooked. Direction signs did better as they are telling you the identical information whatever the style, and each is unique as specific to that location. Streetview has allowed me to now drive roads online and then anything that turns up is visited and photographed if still there. Half or so I've come across since 2008 are gone already, and would have no record if not photographed first.
So, having streetviewed nearly all the feasible areas I moved on to a new project of driving as far as I could to cover more map squares for a different site. With my physical limitations an hour or so each way is enough before I can feel like I've come down with something so 30 miles is pretty well it at the moment and fast running out of places as a result. My last reasonable one was planned for Sunday but as I was up too late had to think of an alternative. The map told me Purley was the only quick one I had left to do down that way, and set off, planning to turn right where I normally turn left. Except there was a straight on on the same bend hidden by the corner where I normally turn, and we took that and ended up on the same road we'd just turned off as it was a loopback. The map said turn right on the next main road which also went to Purley, via a smaller road, and half way down I stopped to take photos and saw an old sign on the corner, becoming two on closer inspection. No one else had posted them or I'd have gone, and had apparently missed that spot on Streetview as I hadn't coloured the map in on the yellow or orange roads and trusted my memory by pencilling all new signs discovered. That alone needed about three or more steps to get to that point, but the next day I did the longer trip.
A month ago someone took about six old signs in Surrey where I was and lost the notes, and I located a few bar one with few clues as to its location, and after three weeks on Streetview had only eliminated half of Surrey. I planned an exact route and the very final point where I expected to turn, not possible to get lost as a single long main road, had that sign I'd spent weeks searching for. The chance of planning a route finishing at the exact spot a random sign was located after I'd seen a photo of the road to recognise the setting rather than before where it may have been missed are almost zero. So as well as doing both planned trips had mopped up three signs I'd probably not have come across otherwise except if he'd remembered where the last one was eventually (and if not after a month wouldn't be that likely).
Extending from there, I was aimed at these signs regardless of my intent and plans. I planned to take photos in new areas, and virtually lost all hope of finding any more signs. If weird stuff happens enough it tells me it's actually not weird but happening outside our previous knowledge of the world. If so then the signs are only one demonstration among everything. Why not everything else? Today I was inundated with jobs to do before I even woke up as all the messages were waiting for me. Granted today was my day off after two on the road, and just planned to take the bike out to get some food. I ended up working this afternoon, being booked for two more jobs and having to drive across London tomorrow as I left my camera somewhere. Normally it would be pissed off but if life is sending me in these directions and can place rewards there maybe each apparent task is to get me something I couldn't have got otherwise. It's got me a heap of signs so I know it can.
Showing posts with label synchronicity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label synchronicity. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Energy phases demonstrated
Today has been one of those days where the energy was twisted. Nothing I tried happened, nothing I planned happened but besides being blocked on the word quiz I play most hours all day all the other plans simply diverted my activity rather than blocking it. But the main point is that the energy was the same in every aspect of my life the whole day from start to finish, which although I'm fully used to still surprises me in its mathematical consistency. That's the message today as although the details are my diary part the overall picture is sheer connectedness as each area happened with the same distorted and partly constricted frequency.
It began when I called the cemetery as I'd finally run out of alternatives but to clean the gravestone. It closed before I'd have got to it so had to put it off, and yesterday my mother told me the local history museum had a car park, and with no other ideas went there instead. Being free it was a good way to pass an afternoon and the postcards were free as well to bring back for the wall. Then I went to have my camera memory card wiped again, but they no longer had the cards or cameras to wipe them, or the bit that fell off the battery so eliminated that and went home and decided to check if the card could be wiped via the usb cable which indeed it was and now working again. The word game works out a word every hour with more clues every few minutes. I've done well since the weekend but today had a few words on the list someone else entered before I did. Not once but three times, and we all win a few on the same day and not for a few afterwards. Again, the energy opens with a win and can stay open for a day or two, it's there for all to see.
No one can see these phases in advance, and I am not yet able to alter the energy to choice. Tomorrow the cleaner's coming at 3 (officially) so short of a local photo trip have little scope I can think of. I started my phone calls yesterday and have reached the point of leaving one message. I've probably completed my old photo checks with the scanning of the final negatives, and now trying to pin down some photos I didn't label. Two have been identified as Beckenham and the rest are only roughly located as yet.
I'd like to have some control over tomorrow (as we all would), and maybe the fact I'm learning these phases affecting them may be next. I've been shown how and will work on it, and if I can then one by one my problems could melt away.
Tomorrow is free anyhow albeit indoors until 3, I'll have a think where I haven't taken photos within 15 minutes before it gets dark at 4, too late and cold for the cemetery and a miracle if I bother to get my eyes tested but if bored enough and not too tired (I do still suffer from time to time) I may even try it. I can't even think of any other chores left now, possibly as I've done them all, but can darn my cardigan, get the last bits of the shelves in the spare room, make more phone calls, possibly even meditate, and check the lists I make to see what else has been saved up for a free day. This week I am still looking for the grace, last week was totally as planned plus the old road sign turning up, which covered all required grace in one go albeit a partially legible one. This week has so far been working my way through a list with little interruption to stop me or bonus to help me, the nature of grace is random so can't call it in. It may well have been guided as I am getting more used to seeing the patterns, but would still wonder if and when I'd ever make it or graduate. No one wants to retire or qualify when they're too old to make full use of it, and besides joining one of the schools that make their students meditate for hours a day can think of little more I can do for any aspect of my own growth. That means I've done both my best and not avoided any extra actions that may have added to my success. It's easy to accuse people lacking anything of being lazy or careless but you don't have that sort of approach after a law degree requiring the ultimate level of work. Not in itself but for me in the subjects I didn't find easy, which was about half of them. Going to hour long crowded video shows every week for over a year with claustrophobia isn't being careless either, basically if I know something is important and possible I go for it. If I appear not to be it's only because I don't think it is, and even in something as mundane as job applications compared I'd done more than average as they told me so in my interviews. So I reckon I've hardly skimped on the input, and fully deserve any output. My effort now tends to be concentrated when I'm inspired, the energy opens, the ideas flow, I produce a collection and then use it up till the next time. Now what happens to those products is partly my own marketing of them and partly the choice of those I offer them to. Some will always win and lose like the articles, but all you can do is not give up and keep producing and offering. I know when the energy opens I get a bunch of clients, a bunch of letters, phone calls, money, whatever, including related problems. That's been clear for over 20 years and only recently started being more for my benefit than random. But that flow has only just begun and started to happen. Most changes happen gradually but this is taking decades!
It began when I called the cemetery as I'd finally run out of alternatives but to clean the gravestone. It closed before I'd have got to it so had to put it off, and yesterday my mother told me the local history museum had a car park, and with no other ideas went there instead. Being free it was a good way to pass an afternoon and the postcards were free as well to bring back for the wall. Then I went to have my camera memory card wiped again, but they no longer had the cards or cameras to wipe them, or the bit that fell off the battery so eliminated that and went home and decided to check if the card could be wiped via the usb cable which indeed it was and now working again. The word game works out a word every hour with more clues every few minutes. I've done well since the weekend but today had a few words on the list someone else entered before I did. Not once but three times, and we all win a few on the same day and not for a few afterwards. Again, the energy opens with a win and can stay open for a day or two, it's there for all to see.
No one can see these phases in advance, and I am not yet able to alter the energy to choice. Tomorrow the cleaner's coming at 3 (officially) so short of a local photo trip have little scope I can think of. I started my phone calls yesterday and have reached the point of leaving one message. I've probably completed my old photo checks with the scanning of the final negatives, and now trying to pin down some photos I didn't label. Two have been identified as Beckenham and the rest are only roughly located as yet.
I'd like to have some control over tomorrow (as we all would), and maybe the fact I'm learning these phases affecting them may be next. I've been shown how and will work on it, and if I can then one by one my problems could melt away.
Tomorrow is free anyhow albeit indoors until 3, I'll have a think where I haven't taken photos within 15 minutes before it gets dark at 4, too late and cold for the cemetery and a miracle if I bother to get my eyes tested but if bored enough and not too tired (I do still suffer from time to time) I may even try it. I can't even think of any other chores left now, possibly as I've done them all, but can darn my cardigan, get the last bits of the shelves in the spare room, make more phone calls, possibly even meditate, and check the lists I make to see what else has been saved up for a free day. This week I am still looking for the grace, last week was totally as planned plus the old road sign turning up, which covered all required grace in one go albeit a partially legible one. This week has so far been working my way through a list with little interruption to stop me or bonus to help me, the nature of grace is random so can't call it in. It may well have been guided as I am getting more used to seeing the patterns, but would still wonder if and when I'd ever make it or graduate. No one wants to retire or qualify when they're too old to make full use of it, and besides joining one of the schools that make their students meditate for hours a day can think of little more I can do for any aspect of my own growth. That means I've done both my best and not avoided any extra actions that may have added to my success. It's easy to accuse people lacking anything of being lazy or careless but you don't have that sort of approach after a law degree requiring the ultimate level of work. Not in itself but for me in the subjects I didn't find easy, which was about half of them. Going to hour long crowded video shows every week for over a year with claustrophobia isn't being careless either, basically if I know something is important and possible I go for it. If I appear not to be it's only because I don't think it is, and even in something as mundane as job applications compared I'd done more than average as they told me so in my interviews. So I reckon I've hardly skimped on the input, and fully deserve any output. My effort now tends to be concentrated when I'm inspired, the energy opens, the ideas flow, I produce a collection and then use it up till the next time. Now what happens to those products is partly my own marketing of them and partly the choice of those I offer them to. Some will always win and lose like the articles, but all you can do is not give up and keep producing and offering. I know when the energy opens I get a bunch of clients, a bunch of letters, phone calls, money, whatever, including related problems. That's been clear for over 20 years and only recently started being more for my benefit than random. But that flow has only just begun and started to happen. Most changes happen gradually but this is taking decades!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
The miracles have started
I've learnt that whatever milestone you pass it only affects your life in relation to that milestone. Everything else of course is still the same, so whatever prize (Nobel or otherwise) you gain life hasn't changed in any other way besides any possible benefits the prize comes with like fame, money or women. My road sign search is complete, it's a great relief as I missed the one off my own road and finally caught up but nothing else is different.
I'll deal with it as it is now, you can't do any more, it's still better than it was but all the other shit is still there. Nothing major, just the second level hard work but just about manageable stuff just below the dentist or having to go to a wedding.
So I've got the temporarily clear space ahead, the irritations are further and sure they'll take care of themselves. It's been quite a productive week (for me anyway)- more (in fact virtually the last) of the items removed and sold or given away from grandma's place, a bit of work and almost went on a date. I say almost as it was a date but not in the relationship area. Closest I get nowadays. But although it's more of a physical attraction to me (not much use when that's not on offer is it?) I did find there were certain conditions attached to its return for me, but too high I think for me. The price to pay for everything is restricted, and I think this was beyond reasonable in this case. If it's not the right person you can't offer so much as it'll only end in tears. It was nice to know she is apparently interested though but basically what she wants for any actual progress is more than I can offer. As far as I know.
Meanwhile I've been dropping every issue I have with the world as I come across it, it's not my problem. My life is barely affected by 99% of the things that bothered me, once I saw one I realised I didn't need to care about any of them. Global warming is about seeing how bloody thick many people are and how criminal a minority are who drive it. But it's not my problem. Although it's sadly confirmed people are worse than I thought (OK, an average IQ of 100 is pretty low as it means half the world are below it) it's not my problem. The money they're stealing from me I can afford, I just prefer not to pay more than double for my power than it should cost. But it doesn't spoil my life really. And there have always been pathetic jealous individuals who want to take away everything from other people they don't have, and call it socialism or variations of. As that's breaking one of the ten commandments I know which of us is going to hell anyway.
I feel exactly the same though, bad when it's going bad, OK when it isn't but can be bad when it isn't as well as the past has still affected me. But nearly everyone else is the same so not unusual, just not what I'm aiming for. I know a lot more, have seen how things link up and then start thinking to create situations, as described throughout history. And as underneath inner and outer are the same outer changes are no different from inner ones. They should reflect my own progress and that's in the Bhagvad Geeta. No science but a miracle. And if you have one miracle then they exist, and they keep happening now over and over again. So although I feel the same and react the same I see the world as different as it is. And unlike experience of god these can be seen by anyone around me. Despite being no others know for 80 miles I had two dreams with the road sign I needed, all the others had delivered so expected this to, and did within a short time after looking for well over 2 years, 1 1/2 with the benefit of Streetview. This should work elsewhere now I've seen it complete my first area.
So limbo isn't such a bad place but tomorrow has a short booking in the middle (meaning I don't have to try and find somewhere to wander around with the camera instead) and nothing else known besides a new booking on Tuesday. I'm still Streetviewing, more signs are always good but at least not concerned now as I've got my collection filled. But things should have started heading the same way now as you can't deliver in one area and not in every other?
I'll deal with it as it is now, you can't do any more, it's still better than it was but all the other shit is still there. Nothing major, just the second level hard work but just about manageable stuff just below the dentist or having to go to a wedding.
So I've got the temporarily clear space ahead, the irritations are further and sure they'll take care of themselves. It's been quite a productive week (for me anyway)- more (in fact virtually the last) of the items removed and sold or given away from grandma's place, a bit of work and almost went on a date. I say almost as it was a date but not in the relationship area. Closest I get nowadays. But although it's more of a physical attraction to me (not much use when that's not on offer is it?) I did find there were certain conditions attached to its return for me, but too high I think for me. The price to pay for everything is restricted, and I think this was beyond reasonable in this case. If it's not the right person you can't offer so much as it'll only end in tears. It was nice to know she is apparently interested though but basically what she wants for any actual progress is more than I can offer. As far as I know.
Meanwhile I've been dropping every issue I have with the world as I come across it, it's not my problem. My life is barely affected by 99% of the things that bothered me, once I saw one I realised I didn't need to care about any of them. Global warming is about seeing how bloody thick many people are and how criminal a minority are who drive it. But it's not my problem. Although it's sadly confirmed people are worse than I thought (OK, an average IQ of 100 is pretty low as it means half the world are below it) it's not my problem. The money they're stealing from me I can afford, I just prefer not to pay more than double for my power than it should cost. But it doesn't spoil my life really. And there have always been pathetic jealous individuals who want to take away everything from other people they don't have, and call it socialism or variations of. As that's breaking one of the ten commandments I know which of us is going to hell anyway.
I feel exactly the same though, bad when it's going bad, OK when it isn't but can be bad when it isn't as well as the past has still affected me. But nearly everyone else is the same so not unusual, just not what I'm aiming for. I know a lot more, have seen how things link up and then start thinking to create situations, as described throughout history. And as underneath inner and outer are the same outer changes are no different from inner ones. They should reflect my own progress and that's in the Bhagvad Geeta. No science but a miracle. And if you have one miracle then they exist, and they keep happening now over and over again. So although I feel the same and react the same I see the world as different as it is. And unlike experience of god these can be seen by anyone around me. Despite being no others know for 80 miles I had two dreams with the road sign I needed, all the others had delivered so expected this to, and did within a short time after looking for well over 2 years, 1 1/2 with the benefit of Streetview. This should work elsewhere now I've seen it complete my first area.
So limbo isn't such a bad place but tomorrow has a short booking in the middle (meaning I don't have to try and find somewhere to wander around with the camera instead) and nothing else known besides a new booking on Tuesday. I'm still Streetviewing, more signs are always good but at least not concerned now as I've got my collection filled. But things should have started heading the same way now as you can't deliver in one area and not in every other?
Friday, June 25, 2010
The story so far...
I can't go out as I'm waiting for a washing machine to be delivered, hot and sunny and a job to do but not yet. So with Brazil playing Portugal (I think both have qualified so probably not worth watching) I return here.
My global warming campaign is reaching a conclusion. I've been given a simple mission, to find the figures to bust apart the CO2 equation. Not being a scientist, even though to most intelligent people it's painfully obvious a small increase in a trace gas with a low warming potential can't be measured in its effects, but I'm not a scientist with the numbers to show it, and am asking them one by one until I can get one to help.
I am hopefully now able to look at the world in a totally different way. If there's an intelligence guiding everything then we really don't have a lot of say in what happens as when it chooses to provide then it does it with no work at all from us. And apparently when it chooses not to then we are wasting our time trying to change it. Ideally we'd choose what we want and then let the system provide it for us but that's what we all want. But the minimum now would be able to communicate with that power and bring in more information to make things I do easier.
For instance. I don't want to see the global warmists win. Our lives would be in poverty, all energy would be rationed and we'd have a rich elite and poor masses just like Cuba or Soviet Russia. And worst of all the liars would have won. Might is Right is fine for Goebbels but we don't want a repeat of Nazi Germany worldwide this time do we?
I've now had two dreams of the red triangle signs. So far every dream of a sign has soon been followed by the real one, so there's no reason why this should be any different. It was the first sign I was aware of as on the same block where I lived and still there until around 2005. I have three so far, but one is damaged, another is a text only rather than a picture as well and the third is a modern replica. I still need a complete graphic one like the one near me, and thank goodness I have an identical one as well but without a triangle, but got the main part I needed.
Someone did just find one in the worst part of London to get to, but was removed last year. I don't know if that was good or bad, plus there are three direction signs on the same road, but too late to care now. I've been Streetviewing for it constantly with no result, but the last one I got was found by someone else and I'd already looked along that road but was covered by a tree. Again, it came to me rather than me doing the work. Patience needed apparently.
So today is apparently guided to keep me at home till the last minute, whether there's a reason or not I won't know till later, but a good way to show me another example. The system can't have it both ways once it's revealed itself.
My global warming campaign is reaching a conclusion. I've been given a simple mission, to find the figures to bust apart the CO2 equation. Not being a scientist, even though to most intelligent people it's painfully obvious a small increase in a trace gas with a low warming potential can't be measured in its effects, but I'm not a scientist with the numbers to show it, and am asking them one by one until I can get one to help.
I am hopefully now able to look at the world in a totally different way. If there's an intelligence guiding everything then we really don't have a lot of say in what happens as when it chooses to provide then it does it with no work at all from us. And apparently when it chooses not to then we are wasting our time trying to change it. Ideally we'd choose what we want and then let the system provide it for us but that's what we all want. But the minimum now would be able to communicate with that power and bring in more information to make things I do easier.
For instance. I don't want to see the global warmists win. Our lives would be in poverty, all energy would be rationed and we'd have a rich elite and poor masses just like Cuba or Soviet Russia. And worst of all the liars would have won. Might is Right is fine for Goebbels but we don't want a repeat of Nazi Germany worldwide this time do we?
I've now had two dreams of the red triangle signs. So far every dream of a sign has soon been followed by the real one, so there's no reason why this should be any different. It was the first sign I was aware of as on the same block where I lived and still there until around 2005. I have three so far, but one is damaged, another is a text only rather than a picture as well and the third is a modern replica. I still need a complete graphic one like the one near me, and thank goodness I have an identical one as well but without a triangle, but got the main part I needed.
Someone did just find one in the worst part of London to get to, but was removed last year. I don't know if that was good or bad, plus there are three direction signs on the same road, but too late to care now. I've been Streetviewing for it constantly with no result, but the last one I got was found by someone else and I'd already looked along that road but was covered by a tree. Again, it came to me rather than me doing the work. Patience needed apparently.
So today is apparently guided to keep me at home till the last minute, whether there's a reason or not I won't know till later, but a good way to show me another example. The system can't have it both ways once it's revealed itself.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Total psychic control
I have my freedom now and making the best of it. I've had no actual ideas since and been busy working at my late grandparents', as I expect to most days this week, but my teeth are OK. One thing I have discovered is I can class myself as an intuitive now as seen enough proved correct to know it. The number of things I can simply know regardless of why or how, which then become exactly as I saw them has shown me I am not just intuitive as we all are, but in touch with it.
Here's another example of the world of films becoming the world of my own. I dreamed about a broken sign to the North Circular Road near me and thinking it's got a bit missing but a very good one. Then I saw the real one in a book, assuming that was the dream's purpose. Then I drove to the end of a road I use every week or so leading to the North Circular (I live half a mile from it) and as I had to wait longer than usual for the traffic suddenly caught sight of the exact sign including missing end as the dream, hidden partly behind a central barrier added since. As I had no recollection of ever having seen it (you can't see it passing by as hidden) it seems that something had shown me everything it could do.
It: 1) Knew where the sign was
2) Knew I needed to know
3) Was able to show me in a dream
4) Was able to arrange for me to find it
That covers every single aspect of life. Telepathy, omniscience and creation. It only leaves the question who is the infinite intelligence which was able to do this? It's either a higher part of me or an external intelligence. Either way it's awesome and means it can do this for everything else as well. It's not yet anything I have any say in, I'm just the observer, but knowing that the whole of life is apparently arranged by a single intelligence means it's all being moved around whatever we think we're doing. Think of the implications of that.
Here's another example of the world of films becoming the world of my own. I dreamed about a broken sign to the North Circular Road near me and thinking it's got a bit missing but a very good one. Then I saw the real one in a book, assuming that was the dream's purpose. Then I drove to the end of a road I use every week or so leading to the North Circular (I live half a mile from it) and as I had to wait longer than usual for the traffic suddenly caught sight of the exact sign including missing end as the dream, hidden partly behind a central barrier added since. As I had no recollection of ever having seen it (you can't see it passing by as hidden) it seems that something had shown me everything it could do.
It: 1) Knew where the sign was
2) Knew I needed to know
3) Was able to show me in a dream
4) Was able to arrange for me to find it
That covers every single aspect of life. Telepathy, omniscience and creation. It only leaves the question who is the infinite intelligence which was able to do this? It's either a higher part of me or an external intelligence. Either way it's awesome and means it can do this for everything else as well. It's not yet anything I have any say in, I'm just the observer, but knowing that the whole of life is apparently arranged by a single intelligence means it's all being moved around whatever we think we're doing. Think of the implications of that.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Progress report 2/2010
My next hope is if my life truly has become guided to extend that from finding road signs to all aspects. It's either there or not, and if is then either me or an outside intelligent universe. I would say from teachings it's more likely to be me, as a sign of all the spiritual development and somehow a matter of learning how to control chaos.
The current system is only really whether my photo will make a newspaper, no one would notice it or lead to any more work but at least will have done it. So far in the freedom (although am working tomorrow but really need the money) I've done another video and otherwise been stuck indoors in the rain. I have found another sign on yesterday's marathon Streetview (it's finally added a few more roads) although a repeat it has paint on where the one I have hasn't, so worth a visit.
Of course one aspect of enlightenment is although one realisation is there's no one else here but you, you don't feel alone but connected. That's a typical paradox of it you'll never get until it happens, but just seeing some sort of organisation in what ought to be chaos, and then seeing it seems to be actually working in my favour is half way there and I'd say the second level of enlightenment, as the first is the synchronicities, now they are for some sort of purpose as well. Then choosing them would be the third. In the end you've got it all and detach from it but like any route may not get the whole way in one lifetime.
Another thing that can happen writing this, just as it does in any situation when you talk about your life, is you work things out. Just by putting it all out there you see it clearly in one place and things can fall into place. If nothing else my collections and CV will continue to increase, although none have yet to actually affect my life in any other way (besides eliminating signs I need to look for). I think so far I've had one client because they saw me on TV and that's probably it. But there are foundations, and some most other people don't have, so I have to keep busy and hope whatever I've started keeps going while I'm getting on with other things.
The current system is only really whether my photo will make a newspaper, no one would notice it or lead to any more work but at least will have done it. So far in the freedom (although am working tomorrow but really need the money) I've done another video and otherwise been stuck indoors in the rain. I have found another sign on yesterday's marathon Streetview (it's finally added a few more roads) although a repeat it has paint on where the one I have hasn't, so worth a visit.
Of course one aspect of enlightenment is although one realisation is there's no one else here but you, you don't feel alone but connected. That's a typical paradox of it you'll never get until it happens, but just seeing some sort of organisation in what ought to be chaos, and then seeing it seems to be actually working in my favour is half way there and I'd say the second level of enlightenment, as the first is the synchronicities, now they are for some sort of purpose as well. Then choosing them would be the third. In the end you've got it all and detach from it but like any route may not get the whole way in one lifetime.
Another thing that can happen writing this, just as it does in any situation when you talk about your life, is you work things out. Just by putting it all out there you see it clearly in one place and things can fall into place. If nothing else my collections and CV will continue to increase, although none have yet to actually affect my life in any other way (besides eliminating signs I need to look for). I think so far I've had one client because they saw me on TV and that's probably it. But there are foundations, and some most other people don't have, so I have to keep busy and hope whatever I've started keeps going while I'm getting on with other things.
Monday, February 22, 2010
The guidance continues
I can actually say whatever guidance began last year it's still going. There was what appeared to be a gap, but turned out to be a loop when what it promised did indeed turn up some time later. My interpretation of guidance is where something would have been impossible without a series of totally unconnected events. So the latest was someone did dowsing for me over a map (I do it in my mind and got two areas correctly as well), found a sign in the middle of nowhere, I Googled it, saw the exact sign I thought I saw on Streetview was there, went last week and got it but was a museum exhibit and not official. I put it online and someone who knew I was a collector must have been reminded he had one from 1992 which was in easy reach, but as on a private road no need to remove it. And yesterday I went and saw it as soon as I reached the junction. That is one of the rarest in the country and in perfect condition.
I very much doubt if I hadn't found the first (one photo from the back online only as well, not a single other reference to it anywhere), and without that photo having been taken as it was a museum entrance, they didn't even notice there was a sign in it, I wouldn't have known where in the village it was and wouldn't have gone the 30 or so miles otherwise.
So everything else in my life needs to be joined in it now. My media career crept forward now with the inclusion in the book and photo shoot, and now waiting to hear if it made the paper. I'm pretty certain whatever machine is behind this it's working now, but still need to use the time I have in between usefully. The traditional belief you don't get anything for nothing makes people assume unless you almost kill yourself you'll achieve nothing. In fact it's about knowledge and timing, and the least effort of all is involved unless exams are involved. If that was the criteria I did my effort already and done plenty since- moving house clearing 28 years of family junk on my own (my parents had split up and gone their separate ways by then) in less than a month. I was ill for months after that and only fixed by healing and 36 hours of sleep over three nights. The doctors were at their wits end and I recovered just before I would have been sent for outpatient tests.
I also worked in about four different places, commuting between two or more a day for four years before finding something where I only needed a couple of separate places to work a week. When the school holidays came and there was no teaching I drove a furniture van, delivering and setting up film sets. The fascinating part was being in the location or studio with the director putting everything where they asked, and then sometimes seeing the work you did on TV. Birdseye Potato Waffles I think was our biggest viewing job. Whichever way you look at it I paid my way, and also did the weekly trip to see a video lecture for my meditation course plus a number of extras for 16 months. Being claustrophobic and having to sit quietly in a hall with maybe 100 people crammed in and not miss a week until the master arrived was no joke. He comes once a year and unless you go abroad after 5 months plus and see him yourself you wait till he gets here. At least he didn't come up north when it was my turn, I drove a very easy 50 miles to Brighton which is a holiday resort I know well, and not Birmingham (120 miles) or Manchester (220) which some poor sods had to do a few years later.
So even if you say we need to earn our success I think I have. The media side was begun with amateur theatre at 12, drama classes from 14-19 and cabaret from 16 onwards. My exams had to come first but always kept it up whenever I could. Lack of a union card meant I had to take a side door to TV work via academia, but all the doors reach the same place. So although I'm not an adept yet, where they actually dictate the direction of the guidance, I did swing two very unlikely situations using said methods although science tells me I need many more before I can say I may be responsible. A teacher last week via Facebook said it's all a dream so being an adept simply acknowledges our role as creator and we simply say what we want and it starts becoming real, as it's all ours anyway. And he told every listener to share it so I am, and I am (as in the bible), is his key to success. Out loud say what you want to be a few times, then in your head, and just keep going on one subject and see what happens. Not tried and tested as my recommendations usually are, but just passing his message on.
And even if you dismiss the unknown it's still there, I think anyone seeing the complex linkages which led to me finding the signs I have already and say it's all normal is just pretending science can allow such connections. No way it can.
I very much doubt if I hadn't found the first (one photo from the back online only as well, not a single other reference to it anywhere), and without that photo having been taken as it was a museum entrance, they didn't even notice there was a sign in it, I wouldn't have known where in the village it was and wouldn't have gone the 30 or so miles otherwise.
So everything else in my life needs to be joined in it now. My media career crept forward now with the inclusion in the book and photo shoot, and now waiting to hear if it made the paper. I'm pretty certain whatever machine is behind this it's working now, but still need to use the time I have in between usefully. The traditional belief you don't get anything for nothing makes people assume unless you almost kill yourself you'll achieve nothing. In fact it's about knowledge and timing, and the least effort of all is involved unless exams are involved. If that was the criteria I did my effort already and done plenty since- moving house clearing 28 years of family junk on my own (my parents had split up and gone their separate ways by then) in less than a month. I was ill for months after that and only fixed by healing and 36 hours of sleep over three nights. The doctors were at their wits end and I recovered just before I would have been sent for outpatient tests.
I also worked in about four different places, commuting between two or more a day for four years before finding something where I only needed a couple of separate places to work a week. When the school holidays came and there was no teaching I drove a furniture van, delivering and setting up film sets. The fascinating part was being in the location or studio with the director putting everything where they asked, and then sometimes seeing the work you did on TV. Birdseye Potato Waffles I think was our biggest viewing job. Whichever way you look at it I paid my way, and also did the weekly trip to see a video lecture for my meditation course plus a number of extras for 16 months. Being claustrophobic and having to sit quietly in a hall with maybe 100 people crammed in and not miss a week until the master arrived was no joke. He comes once a year and unless you go abroad after 5 months plus and see him yourself you wait till he gets here. At least he didn't come up north when it was my turn, I drove a very easy 50 miles to Brighton which is a holiday resort I know well, and not Birmingham (120 miles) or Manchester (220) which some poor sods had to do a few years later.
So even if you say we need to earn our success I think I have. The media side was begun with amateur theatre at 12, drama classes from 14-19 and cabaret from 16 onwards. My exams had to come first but always kept it up whenever I could. Lack of a union card meant I had to take a side door to TV work via academia, but all the doors reach the same place. So although I'm not an adept yet, where they actually dictate the direction of the guidance, I did swing two very unlikely situations using said methods although science tells me I need many more before I can say I may be responsible. A teacher last week via Facebook said it's all a dream so being an adept simply acknowledges our role as creator and we simply say what we want and it starts becoming real, as it's all ours anyway. And he told every listener to share it so I am, and I am (as in the bible), is his key to success. Out loud say what you want to be a few times, then in your head, and just keep going on one subject and see what happens. Not tried and tested as my recommendations usually are, but just passing his message on.
And even if you dismiss the unknown it's still there, I think anyone seeing the complex linkages which led to me finding the signs I have already and say it's all normal is just pretending science can allow such connections. No way it can.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Major achievements
After a little run of minor successes recently I've realised although these are necessary in themselves, they don't change my life and just like recharging the batteries for a few days. I need something that'll alter my life long term and those are by their nature both rare and almost impossible to achieve directly except for qualifications. With 50 looming I'm seeing the time running out to succeed in life, as most people have their love life and career sorted out by 30. Not me of course. I know which events cross this line and can't make a shopping list and then go out and do them. Most rely on other people and others may not actually exist at all despite looking for them.
Being Monday I can't help looking ahead to the week. I have one certain woman visiting in the evening with two more pencilled in the day before and after. Unless these were of my choice (no they're not) I'd far rather one per week but phases are real and here's another one. I'd still be free during the day except one but haven't actually got a clue what I will do with the last light week till March. The paperwork can wait till I can't do much beyond 4pm outdoors, so have it all saved up. But despite mopping up another old sign yesterday on the edges of Kent there's sod all left north of the river where I actually live, for obvious reasons. Tomorrow always takes care of itself when free, which is the ideal default position, but do prefer a rough idea the day before, which I don't have at the moment. Other possibilities on my system include another photo competition and magazine letter written, but the emails about road signs and the like have again returned a big fat zero, plus one for money. Fancy that.
The BBC (I only heard indirectly but should be true) finally broke a rule today and admitted the temperatures were stuck at 1998 after which they stopped rising. Of course the suggestion was even though one IPCC wonk predicted another 20 years before temperatures rose again, it was only part of the general increase. Others said the theory didn't predict any falling of temperatures and should admit defeat, but we are a step closer. I've heard every fucking argument for both sides till I could write a thesis, and like any jury both sides are very convincing till you compare them, and the warmist's total argument is based on guesswork. And for the next twat who accuses anyone of not being a scientist when they explain the holes in their argument, I'd say are juries expected to be qualified to put their peers in prison (or even have them killed by the state)? If so then why bloody well question the rest of us for judging the evidence, plus remind them the IPCC aren't scientists either. They are a bunch of successful career politicians who are meant to do the same as us but actually do as they are told by whoever pays their expenses.
Looking back I have collected a lot recently, and even though it cost me money I didn't need to spend the new car is like driving a Rolls after the last one (OK, a Volvo, I have no idea what driving a Rolls would be like) so the journeys I've made were a lot less tiring. Six more direction signs in a few weeks is pretty amazing after most junctions had been checked months ago, but realised the extra places they could be and hit the jackpot. But these are just battery charging, they run out in a few days with these minor successes and the time is well overdue for bigger and better.
Being Monday I can't help looking ahead to the week. I have one certain woman visiting in the evening with two more pencilled in the day before and after. Unless these were of my choice (no they're not) I'd far rather one per week but phases are real and here's another one. I'd still be free during the day except one but haven't actually got a clue what I will do with the last light week till March. The paperwork can wait till I can't do much beyond 4pm outdoors, so have it all saved up. But despite mopping up another old sign yesterday on the edges of Kent there's sod all left north of the river where I actually live, for obvious reasons. Tomorrow always takes care of itself when free, which is the ideal default position, but do prefer a rough idea the day before, which I don't have at the moment. Other possibilities on my system include another photo competition and magazine letter written, but the emails about road signs and the like have again returned a big fat zero, plus one for money. Fancy that.
The BBC (I only heard indirectly but should be true) finally broke a rule today and admitted the temperatures were stuck at 1998 after which they stopped rising. Of course the suggestion was even though one IPCC wonk predicted another 20 years before temperatures rose again, it was only part of the general increase. Others said the theory didn't predict any falling of temperatures and should admit defeat, but we are a step closer. I've heard every fucking argument for both sides till I could write a thesis, and like any jury both sides are very convincing till you compare them, and the warmist's total argument is based on guesswork. And for the next twat who accuses anyone of not being a scientist when they explain the holes in their argument, I'd say are juries expected to be qualified to put their peers in prison (or even have them killed by the state)? If so then why bloody well question the rest of us for judging the evidence, plus remind them the IPCC aren't scientists either. They are a bunch of successful career politicians who are meant to do the same as us but actually do as they are told by whoever pays their expenses.
Looking back I have collected a lot recently, and even though it cost me money I didn't need to spend the new car is like driving a Rolls after the last one (OK, a Volvo, I have no idea what driving a Rolls would be like) so the journeys I've made were a lot less tiring. Six more direction signs in a few weeks is pretty amazing after most junctions had been checked months ago, but realised the extra places they could be and hit the jackpot. But these are just battery charging, they run out in a few days with these minor successes and the time is well overdue for bigger and better.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Over half the week done
I'm not quite sure if there is such a thing as a typical week, but if so it's been one so far. Work Tuesday, a bit tomorrow then a little walk round Golders Green, and today totally free. Besides the inevitable seeing no one (as today) the freedom is never a bad thing. I surveyed all the private estates in St Johns Wood (sorry to the 99% of both readers who don't know where any of these places are but all on Streetview now) as I found a lot on there, and got 5 old signs but all unofficial, three were privately made and two were for cyclists. Then I cashed more vouchers for a couple of week's meals and that was it. I've also got the hedge cutters repaired but was raining when I got back today so got the front done at least that people see.
Everything's what you'd call just above neutral, as free and have still managed to find some more proper old signs as I keep looking until I've covered everywhere. But guidance either exists or not, and since it's worked by leading me to the signs, then it's now helpful as well and should extend to the other things I need. I'm past suffering for my benefits and as well as believing I've done enough for the lifetime simply can't take it any more either. No restaurants or theatres to impress a woman as I'd be like a plane phobic half way across the Atlantic. Just my nature and need a woman who won't mind. I want a woman to have around my normal life, I'm not 16 any more and neither are they and most people get all that shit out of their system when they get old enough to settle down. And nearly 50 should be well old enough.
I'm still refining my big article, not spiritual enough for the spritual magazine and too important for a few professionals to see who probably already know it. It includes the formula of someone in power taking something away from a lesser being simply because they can. It makes no difference to them but can ruin the victim's life. It's happened to me on and off as long as I can remember and once they've moved on a few minutes later I've been left with something permanently missing for no reason. I doubt I can reform any of these as they're beyond repair in most cases, but still want to draw everyone's attention to it least of all so they can collectively avoid such people. We all have our natural abilities and I see what happens around me and fit each piece in until I see enough of a picture to point it out. Whether a single person has learnt is another story but as it costs nothing to share then I continue to do so.
With so little of the ordinary making a lot of difference you can see why I and so many others look to the extraordinary for excitement, in the form of the supernatural. Precious little of that around in the way of stories but the way life has now fitted together from similar phases, words and synchronicities to total arrangement is the most supernatural thing of all as it's affecting everything at once. But still out of my hands and only visible when it chooses to happen. Other things may take days or more to create while I'm on a road but not aware of it, so when everything seems normal and dull in fact it is heading somewhere. I hope. And I don't expect too much as most of what I want is based on the past rather than an imagined future. I've seen what's possible and just want it for myself. And very little outside the very narrow bounds of business can be earned by sheer effort. Far from it.
Everything's what you'd call just above neutral, as free and have still managed to find some more proper old signs as I keep looking until I've covered everywhere. But guidance either exists or not, and since it's worked by leading me to the signs, then it's now helpful as well and should extend to the other things I need. I'm past suffering for my benefits and as well as believing I've done enough for the lifetime simply can't take it any more either. No restaurants or theatres to impress a woman as I'd be like a plane phobic half way across the Atlantic. Just my nature and need a woman who won't mind. I want a woman to have around my normal life, I'm not 16 any more and neither are they and most people get all that shit out of their system when they get old enough to settle down. And nearly 50 should be well old enough.
I'm still refining my big article, not spiritual enough for the spritual magazine and too important for a few professionals to see who probably already know it. It includes the formula of someone in power taking something away from a lesser being simply because they can. It makes no difference to them but can ruin the victim's life. It's happened to me on and off as long as I can remember and once they've moved on a few minutes later I've been left with something permanently missing for no reason. I doubt I can reform any of these as they're beyond repair in most cases, but still want to draw everyone's attention to it least of all so they can collectively avoid such people. We all have our natural abilities and I see what happens around me and fit each piece in until I see enough of a picture to point it out. Whether a single person has learnt is another story but as it costs nothing to share then I continue to do so.
With so little of the ordinary making a lot of difference you can see why I and so many others look to the extraordinary for excitement, in the form of the supernatural. Precious little of that around in the way of stories but the way life has now fitted together from similar phases, words and synchronicities to total arrangement is the most supernatural thing of all as it's affecting everything at once. But still out of my hands and only visible when it chooses to happen. Other things may take days or more to create while I'm on a road but not aware of it, so when everything seems normal and dull in fact it is heading somewhere. I hope. And I don't expect too much as most of what I want is based on the past rather than an imagined future. I've seen what's possible and just want it for myself. And very little outside the very narrow bounds of business can be earned by sheer effort. Far from it.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Multiple dimensional control
It's a nice free week again, sod all in the way of constructive ideas but have got some chores done as little in the way of distractions. I have realised how one thing that would make me very happy is to have even one person who's treated me like shit in the past to realise the error of their ways and apologise. I still feel guilty for all the times I've done it to people and wonder if many who've done it for me still think they were right. I know if I've deserved anything and these were just nasty. I also fantasise about what I'd like to happen besides that when it's quiet, and includes discovering old friends, more rare road signs, getting replies from long dead messages, and getting the real data on global warming out of the shadows. Some may happen sooner or later and others are daydreams. We all have them though and do show how little say we have in what happens, whatever we think we can do about it.
Nothing in the way of plans besides some work next week, and the new three step version of my original active meditation. This moves you beyond the immediate awareness and then tries to dissolve any blockages to what lies behind it. It gets you deeper to start with and then a way to clear the path altogether (if it works). As a natural teacher even though I'm just doing this for me if I found it worked I'd probably be the first to want to tell everyone. The main reason is I've been listening to the teaching for 12 years and most complicate it so much they dig people in even deeper a lot of the time. And anything that works for me will work I am certain.
Another interesting phenomenon I've come across and tested is seeing something coming just before you get it. Technically if you play golf with a blindfold you'll just keep hitting the ground and never know where the hole is, let alone hit the ball in it. But when I've taken a quiz and nearly won was often when I was just about to win the next one. Heads and tails, same odds each throw but it happened. And then when you want to find something and just guess somewhere you've just thought of is the likely route. There is some logic there but only a little. I was checking names from school again and thought I must get close to one on my list on this search and soon after one turned up. Having searched for 9 years very few new ones pop up now, and there they were right after I guessed I was on the right track. And maybe the same applies to enlightenment. You suddenly realise you're on the right track just before you find it. And women and anything else for that matter, you often seem to be able to tell just before it happens like when I went to my friend's house a couple of time when his sister had friends over. Having a friend's sister's friends over wasn't an automatic passport to crumpet for me but at least one of these occasions sensed it was going to happen and it did.
I am ready for something decent to happen now. I may or may not deserve it or have put the effort in but either way I am. And miracles know no size or quantity, once the door is open all is as easy as one small one. I know what I'd like and possibly who. Anyone who's read The Secret knows it's not cheating and having had no control previously does not feel any worse for getting it with the control as if cheating. It's just working for something constructively if it's true. I've used it twice so far for some pretty big things but will wait till the list is a lot longer before I connect the cause and effect.
But if I could see anything good coming I'd get just one woman from the past who was ready and able for me, at least one apology from some total baskets who need a week on basket camp to learn their lessons, see a few heads roll where people have overstepped their authority, have a major name take up the cause to kill the lies of global warming, get me on terrestrial TV or a daily paper (got close so far but need to cross that line), get enough money to move where I used to live, catch up with some old friends I've lost track of, get one home from abroad, get a relative to pay back the money he stole from us, get the second last series of Grange Hill (the one that wasn't broadcast on TV) shown so I can see it at last, find the music from children's TV in the early 60s, find out what happened to the old roundabout sign I missed in Surrey, get another old red triangle sign, get the truth on ufos from whoever already knows it, find anything I'd lost in the house, and anything else I haven't thought of.
Of course we all have similar lists, but I believe there's no reason life can't actually be like this. I've also read about dimensional shifts and one example was losing something in plain view and then turning up later. This happens to me and people I know quite often, and the roundabout sign was an area I passed from time to time and only noticed once. Someone took a photo there a couple of days later and it wasn't there. The council had no record of removing it despite the location and date I saw it go. Unlike others it wasn't in a seedy back street but on a major dual carriageway thousands of people would pass daily. That's a mystery. I thought I'd got the place wrong but after many checks I couldn't have done. And I'd wake up tomorrow to find some people had gone, some people had arrived and many things were different. And if there are multiple universes that explains how my own can change so much without bothering anyone elses.
Nothing in the way of plans besides some work next week, and the new three step version of my original active meditation. This moves you beyond the immediate awareness and then tries to dissolve any blockages to what lies behind it. It gets you deeper to start with and then a way to clear the path altogether (if it works). As a natural teacher even though I'm just doing this for me if I found it worked I'd probably be the first to want to tell everyone. The main reason is I've been listening to the teaching for 12 years and most complicate it so much they dig people in even deeper a lot of the time. And anything that works for me will work I am certain.
Another interesting phenomenon I've come across and tested is seeing something coming just before you get it. Technically if you play golf with a blindfold you'll just keep hitting the ground and never know where the hole is, let alone hit the ball in it. But when I've taken a quiz and nearly won was often when I was just about to win the next one. Heads and tails, same odds each throw but it happened. And then when you want to find something and just guess somewhere you've just thought of is the likely route. There is some logic there but only a little. I was checking names from school again and thought I must get close to one on my list on this search and soon after one turned up. Having searched for 9 years very few new ones pop up now, and there they were right after I guessed I was on the right track. And maybe the same applies to enlightenment. You suddenly realise you're on the right track just before you find it. And women and anything else for that matter, you often seem to be able to tell just before it happens like when I went to my friend's house a couple of time when his sister had friends over. Having a friend's sister's friends over wasn't an automatic passport to crumpet for me but at least one of these occasions sensed it was going to happen and it did.
I am ready for something decent to happen now. I may or may not deserve it or have put the effort in but either way I am. And miracles know no size or quantity, once the door is open all is as easy as one small one. I know what I'd like and possibly who. Anyone who's read The Secret knows it's not cheating and having had no control previously does not feel any worse for getting it with the control as if cheating. It's just working for something constructively if it's true. I've used it twice so far for some pretty big things but will wait till the list is a lot longer before I connect the cause and effect.
But if I could see anything good coming I'd get just one woman from the past who was ready and able for me, at least one apology from some total baskets who need a week on basket camp to learn their lessons, see a few heads roll where people have overstepped their authority, have a major name take up the cause to kill the lies of global warming, get me on terrestrial TV or a daily paper (got close so far but need to cross that line), get enough money to move where I used to live, catch up with some old friends I've lost track of, get one home from abroad, get a relative to pay back the money he stole from us, get the second last series of Grange Hill (the one that wasn't broadcast on TV) shown so I can see it at last, find the music from children's TV in the early 60s, find out what happened to the old roundabout sign I missed in Surrey, get another old red triangle sign, get the truth on ufos from whoever already knows it, find anything I'd lost in the house, and anything else I haven't thought of.
Of course we all have similar lists, but I believe there's no reason life can't actually be like this. I've also read about dimensional shifts and one example was losing something in plain view and then turning up later. This happens to me and people I know quite often, and the roundabout sign was an area I passed from time to time and only noticed once. Someone took a photo there a couple of days later and it wasn't there. The council had no record of removing it despite the location and date I saw it go. Unlike others it wasn't in a seedy back street but on a major dual carriageway thousands of people would pass daily. That's a mystery. I thought I'd got the place wrong but after many checks I couldn't have done. And I'd wake up tomorrow to find some people had gone, some people had arrived and many things were different. And if there are multiple universes that explains how my own can change so much without bothering anyone elses.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
It's all guided at the moment
Back again, I have to begin by announcing the death of my grandma at 99, suddenly with no current illness and all her faculties. I do see it as 49 years with a grandma rather than time without though as we both knew positive thinking and that is exactly how she handled deaths close to her, and there were many.
Life is now getting back to normal in its new form of course, after the funeral and nightly Jewish prayers that followed. I lost a lot of sleep from the related activities as we all did in the family. But as signs are given from above mine have been in road signs, and on the way out of the cemetery was one of the rarest in Britain (3 now known) as maybe her final gift to me. She believed in all of that as well so would certainly have seen it as possible.
But what I said about making plans proved correct, you can't do it and don't know what's coming till the day before at most. The guidance and synchronicity is back in full thank goodness, I told a friend about the old signs who remembered 'danger children' which I don't remember seeing. Today I went back to Radlett as a weird sign cropped up in the background of a photo and I thought I'd better check, and was just a crap home made one for a private road. I rushed back home as I had stuff to do, and while trying to catch the green light at Elstree couldn't and just spotted something in the road off the main one. I'd already passed it and didn't look familiar but as there was no one behind me reversed back and saw an old sign 'No Through Road. Danger School Children'. That one speaks for itself. If I trust the guidance everything is coming my way now at last. And even if not it's filled in some incredible spaces in my sign collection at times which just turned up in the exact spots I was in although not part of an official search. I will see.
Life is now getting back to normal in its new form of course, after the funeral and nightly Jewish prayers that followed. I lost a lot of sleep from the related activities as we all did in the family. But as signs are given from above mine have been in road signs, and on the way out of the cemetery was one of the rarest in Britain (3 now known) as maybe her final gift to me. She believed in all of that as well so would certainly have seen it as possible.
But what I said about making plans proved correct, you can't do it and don't know what's coming till the day before at most. The guidance and synchronicity is back in full thank goodness, I told a friend about the old signs who remembered 'danger children' which I don't remember seeing. Today I went back to Radlett as a weird sign cropped up in the background of a photo and I thought I'd better check, and was just a crap home made one for a private road. I rushed back home as I had stuff to do, and while trying to catch the green light at Elstree couldn't and just spotted something in the road off the main one. I'd already passed it and didn't look familiar but as there was no one behind me reversed back and saw an old sign 'No Through Road. Danger School Children'. That one speaks for itself. If I trust the guidance everything is coming my way now at last. And even if not it's filled in some incredible spaces in my sign collection at times which just turned up in the exact spots I was in although not part of an official search. I will see.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Current spiritual progress
Freedom is a good place to start, tomorrow and ahead are free although little known besides house/garden work and Streetviewing to fill it so far. As my dad's car misbehaved today I took my grandma shopping and had all mine bought for me as a result. I won't be eating like a pauper for a few weeks now so a good result for all. My reading glasses will be here in a week or so, and just in time as I'm struggling a bit with the old ones. I can read (except a few maps so far) but it's easy to make mistakes and relatively hard work.
Besides that I streetviewed what is the weirdest sign so far, as you can see (besides being wooden which is plain wrong), is almost all in the old style but has no boxes round the writing or anything written (ie no entry) in the little sign, although there is no room for it. It looks like one of the ones made just after the new rules when makers were used to the other type and still made the new ones using the old features. Someone will know. There has been no direction signs on yellow though since the change and capital letters only slip in by chance while they were only used in old ones. There was no missing link between old and new but this is a one off.
Meanwhile the satsang is continuing on Youtube, while my mind understands more and more what enlightenment is I am still waiting to see it happen. One teacher confirmed my first and best view of it which few have mentioned since, but maybe they aren't actually enlightened either as to me if it's not a big deal it's not enlightenment. Just a minor shift in awareness can be done with all sorts of drugs and means nothing. Schizophrenics get them all the time and none have recommended them to anyone. But true enlightenment has always been a big deal and the teachers who say it wasn't really much at all yet still want us to follow must be missing something. Some disregard kundalini although that's the one area we can all feel with a bit of work. Once you know it exists it's the same as being clairvoyant, you are now experiencing your senses doing things you hadn't thought they couldn't so realise the potential below what we're normally aware of. Most people never experience it as without teaching we're unlikely to spin the combination by chance.
I am at that stage (since 1991) where I do something clever spiritually and return to normal, meaning whatever I do manage makes no difference to my life besides the knowledge it is now possible. I can turn on clairvoyance at will, get meditation highs and kundalini rushes sometimes (but wear off as fast as a decent joint, not that I do), and saw auras with an energy push from my teacher apparently with her effort transferred to my vision. Then 99.9% I am as I was before, wondering why if I can see auras at all then it isn't all the time like many people I know. I'm very happy to see the higher frequencies and see smoke around plants and lights around people, it's like being in fairyland. These are only distractions on the path to enlightenment though and that's the double first of the spiritual path, we all aim for it and only a few get it. But unlike lower seconds (my own degree and bloody hard earned that was) it seems if you don't get the lot you get nothing on the way or instead. You can't be slightly enlightened, it either happens or not. It can come for a short time and go, which is the only clues I know beforehand people have, but although I sat next to someone when it happened to him in 1998 nothing like that happened to me.
Unlike in 2003 when a teacher said I was a hobby disciple or whatever he called it, I have more time and interest now and as my practice can be done anywhere if I'm awake I do it a lot more than before when I didn't have a specific method. Mind you it took him 17 years so by that token I'm about due now. Nowadays I don't see anyone on the path like I used to. Most will never get anywhere as they appear to have filled their brains with holes from drug use over many years, while others talk the talk as they memorise the teachings and change not one bit. You only need a good teacher as it's not a team effort, you don't get inspired by other students, but gives us something to talk about besides the other stuff. My life has changed admittedly, and if enlightened the outside and inside world are the same, so technically if anything changes it's you. First the phases (which still happen) of similar things and identical words and phrases witnessed by everyone who saw me, and now the guidance, which went quiet for a week but seems to be coming back in smaller ways again now.
If it continues then I can add that it has partly been guided by me. I saw 'The Secret' a while back and did make the first aim on the list (a big one) followed by another pretty soon after that. If you've read it, the guidance began finding me 3 old signs on one trip as the route I took made me pass one I'd passed many times and never seen, and another as I made a tiny mistake and saw it on the road it was not the one I was told it was on next to it. Since then the big business one worked followed by many more signs including the red triangle one I needed the most for the complete set. The after 3 years my last TV programme went live online.
That means between my wishes and the guidance (no use if it doesn't correspond with them as it's just normal life then) I'm now waiting for a newspaper article and a decent woman for a start. Another red triangle sign or two within 20 miles, and at least one apology/change of decision from certain people who have treated me worse than a serial rapist or murderer. The punishments weren't the same but the attitude they had was.
That is my list now, and will add the gaps between waiting should reduce as they did since this all started. If not then even if they all do but three years pass it won't be so different from normal. Barely any time at all now, and instant karma is another sign as well as synchronicity. I feel the same but outside is definitely different. The profit so far is peace of mind, lack of effort driving miles for new signs any more, but little else. An article should get a few old faces back in my life just as when my friend's brother was on the radio and a pile of old friends caught up as a result as he moved without telling anyone. Producers also begin to pay people once they've reached a certain level, and being in a national paper is a big step towards that status. The woman is self explanatory, and the apologies would both rearrange the energy and the faith I have that people can't be as bad as that. Plus it would get me back one or two of the things I lost as a result.
Tomorrow and beyond are good opportunities for this to start, no delay is involved as I said, and as guided no logic either as the whole of my world has to be arranged for each result to happen. It's no different to getting things the usual way either, it's not cheating but how we should really all live now. And probably always but we may have lost it somehow. All this suffering to get pleasure just means it evens out and we get zero overall as the price we pay usually equals any benefit we get so no profit in the end. If we are donated everything we can still work, learn and help others but there won't be any suffering involved. There really is no need to earn anything in life, that's just what bosses tell you so you don't object to working for them. I didn't stop studying when I qualified, I just studied what I wanted to instead. It's the same for work, I've done plenty of what would be considered work since I lost my regular job but as I rarely get paid for it and never do the same thing two days/hours running but people who write articles, paint and take photos and get paid for it are considered to be working. You see how it's just a matter of perception? Yes, we can qualify in a field or two, but can split that with many other things we don't need to study for.
Anyway, you're all losing concentration now so I won't add yet more ideas and concepts, and hope the guidance brings larger prizes very soon.
Besides that I streetviewed what is the weirdest sign so far, as you can see (besides being wooden which is plain wrong), is almost all in the old style but has no boxes round the writing or anything written (ie no entry) in the little sign, although there is no room for it. It looks like one of the ones made just after the new rules when makers were used to the other type and still made the new ones using the old features. Someone will know. There has been no direction signs on yellow though since the change and capital letters only slip in by chance while they were only used in old ones. There was no missing link between old and new but this is a one off.
Meanwhile the satsang is continuing on Youtube, while my mind understands more and more what enlightenment is I am still waiting to see it happen. One teacher confirmed my first and best view of it which few have mentioned since, but maybe they aren't actually enlightened either as to me if it's not a big deal it's not enlightenment. Just a minor shift in awareness can be done with all sorts of drugs and means nothing. Schizophrenics get them all the time and none have recommended them to anyone. But true enlightenment has always been a big deal and the teachers who say it wasn't really much at all yet still want us to follow must be missing something. Some disregard kundalini although that's the one area we can all feel with a bit of work. Once you know it exists it's the same as being clairvoyant, you are now experiencing your senses doing things you hadn't thought they couldn't so realise the potential below what we're normally aware of. Most people never experience it as without teaching we're unlikely to spin the combination by chance.
I am at that stage (since 1991) where I do something clever spiritually and return to normal, meaning whatever I do manage makes no difference to my life besides the knowledge it is now possible. I can turn on clairvoyance at will, get meditation highs and kundalini rushes sometimes (but wear off as fast as a decent joint, not that I do), and saw auras with an energy push from my teacher apparently with her effort transferred to my vision. Then 99.9% I am as I was before, wondering why if I can see auras at all then it isn't all the time like many people I know. I'm very happy to see the higher frequencies and see smoke around plants and lights around people, it's like being in fairyland. These are only distractions on the path to enlightenment though and that's the double first of the spiritual path, we all aim for it and only a few get it. But unlike lower seconds (my own degree and bloody hard earned that was) it seems if you don't get the lot you get nothing on the way or instead. You can't be slightly enlightened, it either happens or not. It can come for a short time and go, which is the only clues I know beforehand people have, but although I sat next to someone when it happened to him in 1998 nothing like that happened to me.
Unlike in 2003 when a teacher said I was a hobby disciple or whatever he called it, I have more time and interest now and as my practice can be done anywhere if I'm awake I do it a lot more than before when I didn't have a specific method. Mind you it took him 17 years so by that token I'm about due now. Nowadays I don't see anyone on the path like I used to. Most will never get anywhere as they appear to have filled their brains with holes from drug use over many years, while others talk the talk as they memorise the teachings and change not one bit. You only need a good teacher as it's not a team effort, you don't get inspired by other students, but gives us something to talk about besides the other stuff. My life has changed admittedly, and if enlightened the outside and inside world are the same, so technically if anything changes it's you. First the phases (which still happen) of similar things and identical words and phrases witnessed by everyone who saw me, and now the guidance, which went quiet for a week but seems to be coming back in smaller ways again now.
If it continues then I can add that it has partly been guided by me. I saw 'The Secret' a while back and did make the first aim on the list (a big one) followed by another pretty soon after that. If you've read it, the guidance began finding me 3 old signs on one trip as the route I took made me pass one I'd passed many times and never seen, and another as I made a tiny mistake and saw it on the road it was not the one I was told it was on next to it. Since then the big business one worked followed by many more signs including the red triangle one I needed the most for the complete set. The after 3 years my last TV programme went live online.
That means between my wishes and the guidance (no use if it doesn't correspond with them as it's just normal life then) I'm now waiting for a newspaper article and a decent woman for a start. Another red triangle sign or two within 20 miles, and at least one apology/change of decision from certain people who have treated me worse than a serial rapist or murderer. The punishments weren't the same but the attitude they had was.
That is my list now, and will add the gaps between waiting should reduce as they did since this all started. If not then even if they all do but three years pass it won't be so different from normal. Barely any time at all now, and instant karma is another sign as well as synchronicity. I feel the same but outside is definitely different. The profit so far is peace of mind, lack of effort driving miles for new signs any more, but little else. An article should get a few old faces back in my life just as when my friend's brother was on the radio and a pile of old friends caught up as a result as he moved without telling anyone. Producers also begin to pay people once they've reached a certain level, and being in a national paper is a big step towards that status. The woman is self explanatory, and the apologies would both rearrange the energy and the faith I have that people can't be as bad as that. Plus it would get me back one or two of the things I lost as a result.
Tomorrow and beyond are good opportunities for this to start, no delay is involved as I said, and as guided no logic either as the whole of my world has to be arranged for each result to happen. It's no different to getting things the usual way either, it's not cheating but how we should really all live now. And probably always but we may have lost it somehow. All this suffering to get pleasure just means it evens out and we get zero overall as the price we pay usually equals any benefit we get so no profit in the end. If we are donated everything we can still work, learn and help others but there won't be any suffering involved. There really is no need to earn anything in life, that's just what bosses tell you so you don't object to working for them. I didn't stop studying when I qualified, I just studied what I wanted to instead. It's the same for work, I've done plenty of what would be considered work since I lost my regular job but as I rarely get paid for it and never do the same thing two days/hours running but people who write articles, paint and take photos and get paid for it are considered to be working. You see how it's just a matter of perception? Yes, we can qualify in a field or two, but can split that with many other things we don't need to study for.
Anyway, you're all losing concentration now so I won't add yet more ideas and concepts, and hope the guidance brings larger prizes very soon.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
The bottom line (and I don't mean skidmarks).
So far I'm finding that before one becomes enlightened, whatever they've achieved in life doesn't really help them get through the inevitable tough patches. I expected it to, having high academic or professional status (not that I have) ought to insulate people from all but the worst traumas. but underneath we are just ourselves and these only operate when we use them for work. I didn't want to join Mensa for status but just to meet similar people, and as I already had an astronomical IQ result didn't need to join them to prove it. So the message now (I've been watching a lot more teaching recently provided online), is that all the other work is just tinkering around the edges. Without enlightenment the same crap will keep coming round as nothing's really changed. At least I now believe it's a real state as described clearly enough for me to understand, and while the little piles of dogshit in life keep causing me stress is the only way out.
Yesterday was my busiest work day for ages which paid my electricity bill, today was just bits and pieces preparing my grandma's house for her planned return from hospital tomorrow, I hope. I also found a third old sign on Streetview but when I got there it had already gone. Bound to happen as months old and at least was a local one. So today I end empty handed, as far as I know, with nothing to look forward to. But it was the same on Monday and look what happened, so the pattern should continue. My little list, learnt from watching The Secret, is now being worked through one by one, and so far has actually worked. No need to understand how as long as it does. Making things come easily at my time of life is a great relief and had the rest of it doing things the hard way. No need for more if possible not to.
So tomorrow will not be completely blank, gardening needs to be done (it rained most of last week), I need stamps to send things abroad, and am then waiting to hear when my grandma needs me there if she makes it home on time. That looks bloody boring from here but then again tomorrow is not now so will look different then. I keep sending more emails for media work and sign enquiries and slowly the replies arrive. The only open door so far is a possible magazine usage next year, which would be enough to get me in the business. I hope my material is seen as esoteric enough for them though as it's pretty down to earth stuff on ways to manage in life better. Important but may not be their area. I could write about the synchronicity but besides being just for my benefit and not really for teaching anyone anything, can't really prove much with it. You have to be there to do that and anyone with me has seen it happen directly over and over again.
Just for fun I'd like to think of all the things I've missed or lost and would like back. Most are gone and not reversible, like burning the negatives, but a few can be regained if people cooperated. I thought I had more photos of Routemasters after two afternoons taking them, and they turned up (one set so far anyway) but all the rest on the list are not going to be here already but need replacing. Now when your cat's bollocks are removed you can't put them back, and how many of my losses are the equivalent I'm not entirely sure, but even the ones that could be sewn back and function are very hard to persuade others to find them and do so. I've lost loads of things as well as we all have, and some have turned up in the past so never know there. And that includes people, most buggered off deliberately so wouldn't want to see my face again, but a few just drifted away mainly abroad. But although some may be the equivalent of raising the dead body of Lazarus some are a little more realistic although maybe as likely.
But one thing is I learnt not to moan to live people some time ago, so save it for here. Not like the live people who moan to me non stop. Gets them nowhere and just spreads the manure further over me as well. Thanks a lot. You can't solve other people's personal problems, and just unloading for the sake of it gets no one anywhere verbally as it achieves nothing. Before blogs I wrote it down for me to read and that was enough. And of course the ones that moan the most often have the least to moan about, as the ones who have the most are too busy suffering to stop and waffle about it endlessly. Many people want it all and don't appreciate what they do have as it doesn't measure up to what they expect. Do they really need to lose it each time to realise they have something many people don't at all? And they moan about it to those people? Yes. At least by saying it here anyone guilty or able to tell others who are may be saved from not appreciating everything they do have as well as boring others moaning about its shortcomings. I can but hope.
The bottom line is I deserve better. 49 years of less and less in my life is quite enough. It's no use when I get things I want and then no more as it's people that make life good, things just keep you busy and comfortable. But they can't make you happy. Why should I be condemned to live alone from 32 till I die where even the thickest most boring individuals manage to find someone they want who also tolerates them? I shouldn't. Why should I be the one everyone tells their problems to when I usually have far worse ones than they do? And finally why should I be the guy who is nice to everyone 99.9% of the time so gets into major trouble the one time I'm not? You can see I do have a point here.
Yesterday was my busiest work day for ages which paid my electricity bill, today was just bits and pieces preparing my grandma's house for her planned return from hospital tomorrow, I hope. I also found a third old sign on Streetview but when I got there it had already gone. Bound to happen as months old and at least was a local one. So today I end empty handed, as far as I know, with nothing to look forward to. But it was the same on Monday and look what happened, so the pattern should continue. My little list, learnt from watching The Secret, is now being worked through one by one, and so far has actually worked. No need to understand how as long as it does. Making things come easily at my time of life is a great relief and had the rest of it doing things the hard way. No need for more if possible not to.
So tomorrow will not be completely blank, gardening needs to be done (it rained most of last week), I need stamps to send things abroad, and am then waiting to hear when my grandma needs me there if she makes it home on time. That looks bloody boring from here but then again tomorrow is not now so will look different then. I keep sending more emails for media work and sign enquiries and slowly the replies arrive. The only open door so far is a possible magazine usage next year, which would be enough to get me in the business. I hope my material is seen as esoteric enough for them though as it's pretty down to earth stuff on ways to manage in life better. Important but may not be their area. I could write about the synchronicity but besides being just for my benefit and not really for teaching anyone anything, can't really prove much with it. You have to be there to do that and anyone with me has seen it happen directly over and over again.
Just for fun I'd like to think of all the things I've missed or lost and would like back. Most are gone and not reversible, like burning the negatives, but a few can be regained if people cooperated. I thought I had more photos of Routemasters after two afternoons taking them, and they turned up (one set so far anyway) but all the rest on the list are not going to be here already but need replacing. Now when your cat's bollocks are removed you can't put them back, and how many of my losses are the equivalent I'm not entirely sure, but even the ones that could be sewn back and function are very hard to persuade others to find them and do so. I've lost loads of things as well as we all have, and some have turned up in the past so never know there. And that includes people, most buggered off deliberately so wouldn't want to see my face again, but a few just drifted away mainly abroad. But although some may be the equivalent of raising the dead body of Lazarus some are a little more realistic although maybe as likely.
But one thing is I learnt not to moan to live people some time ago, so save it for here. Not like the live people who moan to me non stop. Gets them nowhere and just spreads the manure further over me as well. Thanks a lot. You can't solve other people's personal problems, and just unloading for the sake of it gets no one anywhere verbally as it achieves nothing. Before blogs I wrote it down for me to read and that was enough. And of course the ones that moan the most often have the least to moan about, as the ones who have the most are too busy suffering to stop and waffle about it endlessly. Many people want it all and don't appreciate what they do have as it doesn't measure up to what they expect. Do they really need to lose it each time to realise they have something many people don't at all? And they moan about it to those people? Yes. At least by saying it here anyone guilty or able to tell others who are may be saved from not appreciating everything they do have as well as boring others moaning about its shortcomings. I can but hope.
The bottom line is I deserve better. 49 years of less and less in my life is quite enough. It's no use when I get things I want and then no more as it's people that make life good, things just keep you busy and comfortable. But they can't make you happy. Why should I be condemned to live alone from 32 till I die where even the thickest most boring individuals manage to find someone they want who also tolerates them? I shouldn't. Why should I be the one everyone tells their problems to when I usually have far worse ones than they do? And finally why should I be the guy who is nice to everyone 99.9% of the time so gets into major trouble the one time I'm not? You can see I do have a point here.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Everything fits
Normally when someone has a nutty theory it seems to run out of legs very quickly when reality takes over. But since the event where I decided something had to be guiding my life and would probably continue to do so it has done, for now over a month. Three possibilities only exist. One, I am wrong, two, God is in charge, and most likely, three, this is a dream of my own making and I've started learning how to direct it. Either way I can say that when life is arranged and gives you what you want it is no less satisfying and a lot easier as well.
In the last few weeks it has given me my red triangle sign, got my 4th TV programme on after 3 years wait, got me to visit a whole lot of my neighbours, got my car fixed for a reasonable price, stopped my broadband being down too long for me to miss a quiz round here or elsewhere, turned up more old signs whenever I was at a loose end, and located boxes of old photos I'd forgotten where they were. Just the ones I remember. There are now many more things I'd like, and no reason not to expect them now. Besides the obvious woman, newspaper article and enlightenment although with all of them there wouldn't be much more needed really. I've completed my main projects now, any council replies are up to them and any more is a mystery.
There is also a list of things I've missed and would like back, some of which are possible. There's a gold ring I was wearing when I moved house in 1995 and didn't put in the jewellery box and was likely to have hidden elsewhere, a TV series I'd like to see again I missed when it was repeated last year all in a single showing, various people I'd like to see again from the past, at least find out exactly where the old roundabout sign was I saw last summer, and many more others like that which may happen if things go my way. Through the internet I've got a record, a couple of TV films, and various other items so rare I'd never have located them otherwise, so can happen. And of course get an article in a daily paper at last.
So, I am free, anything can happen and since the guidance started it's all happened as it should, and when it went quiet very quickly something else has turned up. As a psychic friend says if it happens a few times it's chance, if it happens a few hundred it's real. This has carried on for around two months and no reason to see it ending now. Maybe I've hooked into a kind of energy field, or whatever, but the results are there and speak for themselves. Read back a year or two and you'll see these events have been an exception until now.
In the last few weeks it has given me my red triangle sign, got my 4th TV programme on after 3 years wait, got me to visit a whole lot of my neighbours, got my car fixed for a reasonable price, stopped my broadband being down too long for me to miss a quiz round here or elsewhere, turned up more old signs whenever I was at a loose end, and located boxes of old photos I'd forgotten where they were. Just the ones I remember. There are now many more things I'd like, and no reason not to expect them now. Besides the obvious woman, newspaper article and enlightenment although with all of them there wouldn't be much more needed really. I've completed my main projects now, any council replies are up to them and any more is a mystery.
There is also a list of things I've missed and would like back, some of which are possible. There's a gold ring I was wearing when I moved house in 1995 and didn't put in the jewellery box and was likely to have hidden elsewhere, a TV series I'd like to see again I missed when it was repeated last year all in a single showing, various people I'd like to see again from the past, at least find out exactly where the old roundabout sign was I saw last summer, and many more others like that which may happen if things go my way. Through the internet I've got a record, a couple of TV films, and various other items so rare I'd never have located them otherwise, so can happen. And of course get an article in a daily paper at last.
So, I am free, anything can happen and since the guidance started it's all happened as it should, and when it went quiet very quickly something else has turned up. As a psychic friend says if it happens a few times it's chance, if it happens a few hundred it's real. This has carried on for around two months and no reason to see it ending now. Maybe I've hooked into a kind of energy field, or whatever, but the results are there and speak for themselves. Read back a year or two and you'll see these events have been an exception until now.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
The flow continues
I can say the system is still working, the business issue is taken care of and the rest can follow. Still even getting more old signs, and with Google streetview saved hundreds of car miles looking online, finding one more after the 4th day of eliminating roads. Now I've got another trip over the river at night but can't cut corners (pun intended).
Other than that free, gardening to do and that's about it. Plenty of jobs done last week, shopping, got a photo back from a video of an old sign that crept in unnoticed and now needs cleaning up to get it in focus. That's with a friend who knows how and hope it can be done.
My old road sign from Ebay is on its way and may clean up as a previously unknown flat version rather than cast iron. But a lot cheaper than others I've come across. No one else has replied from the council or the media (TV and papers) but they can fuck themselves. If they end up delivering it will be nice but am no longer caring what any twat in authority does for the rest of my life. I'm not their playthings however much they like to use us as one. When of course they're not playing with their own. I reckon if I was on a request, if it was a no of course you should say immediately, and if it's very complex and needs working on I'd send an email to say it was being taken care of. Not from these articles, half never reply at all and the others come back with yet more questions to incredibly simple requests. Almost impossible to implement but bloody easy to understand.
So I have stayed in the flow now since it began, and everything has arrived that has just as it was meant to. Of course there's a lot more that could happen but at least I'm no longer attached to that. And I'm completely mystified how I'll get another woman's attention after my standby met someone else after 24 years on and off (mainly on), as no others I met lasted long enough to drop her. I usually had one or two other reserves who were like eating pot noodles rather than a proper meal but pretty reliable in the same way. I met them in 1982, 1984 and 1987 so that period of my life when there was a reasonable supply, who I kept connected with for decades since is over by half a lifetime. The few since have come and gone (in all ways) very quickly, and any of the level I was actually interested in didn't often do anything before they buggered off either. But after decades of getting the sexual equivalent of rice and chick peas but regularly to literally nothing is something that needs to be remedied, but without resorting to payment for the first time ever, can't imagine what I can do.
But then again, if I'm in the flow, that has to include everything and should just turn up in the same way. If you're looking for something in particular you hardly ever find it, but often find something else. The more specific you are the less likely you are to get what you want to. So whatever comes the order doesn't matter and is in no way connected to the amount of work I put into it, besides the most basic scanning roads which is not complicated enough to require more than a blanket search.
Other than that free, gardening to do and that's about it. Plenty of jobs done last week, shopping, got a photo back from a video of an old sign that crept in unnoticed and now needs cleaning up to get it in focus. That's with a friend who knows how and hope it can be done.
My old road sign from Ebay is on its way and may clean up as a previously unknown flat version rather than cast iron. But a lot cheaper than others I've come across. No one else has replied from the council or the media (TV and papers) but they can fuck themselves. If they end up delivering it will be nice but am no longer caring what any twat in authority does for the rest of my life. I'm not their playthings however much they like to use us as one. When of course they're not playing with their own. I reckon if I was on a request, if it was a no of course you should say immediately, and if it's very complex and needs working on I'd send an email to say it was being taken care of. Not from these articles, half never reply at all and the others come back with yet more questions to incredibly simple requests. Almost impossible to implement but bloody easy to understand.
So I have stayed in the flow now since it began, and everything has arrived that has just as it was meant to. Of course there's a lot more that could happen but at least I'm no longer attached to that. And I'm completely mystified how I'll get another woman's attention after my standby met someone else after 24 years on and off (mainly on), as no others I met lasted long enough to drop her. I usually had one or two other reserves who were like eating pot noodles rather than a proper meal but pretty reliable in the same way. I met them in 1982, 1984 and 1987 so that period of my life when there was a reasonable supply, who I kept connected with for decades since is over by half a lifetime. The few since have come and gone (in all ways) very quickly, and any of the level I was actually interested in didn't often do anything before they buggered off either. But after decades of getting the sexual equivalent of rice and chick peas but regularly to literally nothing is something that needs to be remedied, but without resorting to payment for the first time ever, can't imagine what I can do.
But then again, if I'm in the flow, that has to include everything and should just turn up in the same way. If you're looking for something in particular you hardly ever find it, but often find something else. The more specific you are the less likely you are to get what you want to. So whatever comes the order doesn't matter and is in no way connected to the amount of work I put into it, besides the most basic scanning roads which is not complicated enough to require more than a blanket search.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
It can go either way today
I had stopped all the spiritual stuff as it had run out but with the new trust in the system, which will have to screw up majorly before I drop my acceptance of it. Now why it would take 49 years before I was allowed this privilege is not clear, except that when things have been held back in the recent past it was to make me get more before I got them. Except I have not got them. I did get more I didn't know about first as I didn't have anything better, but so far, nothing better.
This means there is a growing list of 'nots'. From those I lost in childhood I haven't got back, ever since, and those I am currently attempting to get. Few have died either but the progress is slow enough to leave yawning gaps where I feel I could be wasting time as I run out of things to do. No more old signs left. Wherever they were within reach in 3 months I have reached all if not nearly all of them, so today will probably do a bit of speculative shopping (for things that are probably not available there) locally, one work booking (all week that is) and the rest is only known on the day or just before. That is the downside of all downsides of being alone, as you have no one else to make the journey interesting. If there's nothing to do for most people they talk. I can't.
I emailed 17 local papers with the sign story two asked me for, nothing. Little surprise there. I don't like wasting time but even now for instance I am writing this as there isn't anything else left to do. I end up imagining how nice it would be if something good happened by the end of the day to wipe it out but besides finding the signs already (and an old photo of them yesterday, although not my own), nothing. I don't expect too much. Nearly everyone else isn't alone even if not living with a partner. And even those who are are rarely only children as we are the exception. When our parents die unless we're married or have our own children that's it. And those with partners did not need to earn them by having a job either, the two things are not connected. So that's one fate I was inexplicably given. And the TV and media work is the result of years of activities however little I do now. So besides not being related to effort I don't think success is related to deserving it or much else, you either get it or not with no connection to the reasons others assume are required.
Well today is a good test. I have a clear view ahead (clear of anything worthwhile that is) and you can't have a theory without it being checked. The system can't just start and break down as soon as it's under pressure. Then it's not a system at all. I will see.
This means there is a growing list of 'nots'. From those I lost in childhood I haven't got back, ever since, and those I am currently attempting to get. Few have died either but the progress is slow enough to leave yawning gaps where I feel I could be wasting time as I run out of things to do. No more old signs left. Wherever they were within reach in 3 months I have reached all if not nearly all of them, so today will probably do a bit of speculative shopping (for things that are probably not available there) locally, one work booking (all week that is) and the rest is only known on the day or just before. That is the downside of all downsides of being alone, as you have no one else to make the journey interesting. If there's nothing to do for most people they talk. I can't.
I emailed 17 local papers with the sign story two asked me for, nothing. Little surprise there. I don't like wasting time but even now for instance I am writing this as there isn't anything else left to do. I end up imagining how nice it would be if something good happened by the end of the day to wipe it out but besides finding the signs already (and an old photo of them yesterday, although not my own), nothing. I don't expect too much. Nearly everyone else isn't alone even if not living with a partner. And even those who are are rarely only children as we are the exception. When our parents die unless we're married or have our own children that's it. And those with partners did not need to earn them by having a job either, the two things are not connected. So that's one fate I was inexplicably given. And the TV and media work is the result of years of activities however little I do now. So besides not being related to effort I don't think success is related to deserving it or much else, you either get it or not with no connection to the reasons others assume are required.
Well today is a good test. I have a clear view ahead (clear of anything worthwhile that is) and you can't have a theory without it being checked. The system can't just start and break down as soon as it's under pressure. Then it's not a system at all. I will see.
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