Spiritual development July 2012

Time to catch up with the spiritual development. I've spent the year from spring onwards (due to the long days) working on my photo project, and now covered enough of the map to be satisfied, and means I can now both relax locally again and work on myself. This involves being constantly directed from one situation to another, mainly to give me the chance to learn how to deal with them and occasionally to reward me.

I know where I'm aiming, probably higher than 99.9r% of the population, but because I'm not satisfied with the alternative. I don't want to react to anything any more. Masters have no response at all to news at all, good or bad, but are at peace. You can enjoy the good stuff but no longer affected by the outside as if it actually matters personally. You can access this for moments through meditation and it can happen, you are so calm you know anything could occur and it wouldn't make any difference. I would rather have that all the time now. I'm adding new methods the whole time now I've found a decent teacher who emphasises the powers over enlightenment, as few reach enlightenment but anyone can learn powers one at a time. I now see auras most times when I try, despite seeing them very clearly a few times when with my teacher and a few without. That all but stopped after I stopped lessons 20 years ago, and finally able to do it again albeit rarely as bright so far but happy to see anything at all.

The stress level is always tested after a few day's relief at most. That's the string of situations where I must learn not to react. That's like telling someone not to eat the meal in front of them when they're hungry. I'm being tested now at the highest level, being made to attempt to challenge and ignore the survival instinct itself. It does mean I've covered every other level, but until you beat the devil nothing changes inside, you don't yet feel any different to before but have learnt how to handle everything else besides the worst. I don't even know if the last level is possible besides hearing it from others, but can't do very well otherwise. My patience does wear out at times as my ultimate aim is to reach the end (again, so I've been told) and am running out of energy to handle more tests as like anything else the more you do, like driving miles for my photos, the more you wear out. No teacher pushes the student further than they can manage or it's wasting everyone's time, so am hoping I reach the stage where outside events compensate for the dreadful ones. I don't want or need to be perfect, for example I simply don't care if I ever sit in an audience or go on a holiday again. I've literally been there done that to the maximum and now content without ever doing either. I don't want some new age therapist saying I can't make it until I can happily do everything I can't, as you'd have people picking up spiders and snakes and jumping with parachutes before they could even prepare for enlightenment. We're not designed to be perfect, we are human and have a list of things we can and can't do for everyone, and no one becomes enlightened because they've learnt how to cope with everything life can throw at them. That's not just a psychological process but physically impossible as no one is made to do that, ask yourself what I can't do and you can, and then think what I may do and you can't, it probably evens itself out in nearly all the examples.

So I'm not attempting the impossible by trying to fix nearly all my issues, as a few I know try and make me do, I am however being presented with the regular challenges to my sanity by events arriving I would far rather not attend but know I need to or miss out on something as a result, ie paying a HUGE fucking price for something I need but technically can't afford. It's the same as offering a starving man a sandwich for £10,000 and expecting them to pay or die, but not quite as clear cut. Referring to my point, no teacher ever makes the lessons that tough, but like weightlifting you must work your way up gradually so no single step is too much. I know my boundaries and of course life crosses them for everyone, but I can see how it's being done to me now as a pattern and wonder what I need to do (the teaching says we ought to be able to take over the control as an adept) to stop it. Adeptship comes before enlightenment, and many stop there as the power is almost omnipotent and leaves little desire to continue to full liberation. In the end you get bored with writing your own script and want to release from the outside world altogether, and you are liberated, but may be some time to do so.

My greatest gap is feeling the same now as I started 21 years ago. The day after I left college and started my spiritual classes I picked up the basics in clairvoyance and meditation very quickly and never got much further. I can tune in better and more reliably now (that's just practice) but still feel like shit when life is, and get extremely little from any meditation I do. I am clearly being guided, if not all but most of the time, as I see the clues more and more now, but so far have been on the train 21 years and yet to reach the first station. That's not impatience, quite the opposite, as many people give up at that point. I didn't, half because I don't want to stay as I am, and half because I've been given enough gifts from outside to know I've earned something, but those are like Christmas presents, they are nice when they arrive but your life is the same the next day. Nothing yet to change my life, and it seems if the outside world reflects the inner world mine is stuck, all the outer situations, the politics and people's attitudes in general have reached rock bottom, with criminal psychopaths in charge and a majority of simple minded fools underneath who believe they're all father christmas while having their pockets picked by them. Having taught myself how 21st century politics works and posted it here I and many people know the truth, but we're the high IQ brigade, and the nature of high IQ is it's only distributed in a minority, those who are outvoted.

Until the fraud and corruption is exposed and punished we are stuck with vast prices and restrictions on our lives, and it's as if my life and the world's are both stuck and can't free ourselves of the dark energy. Personally you detach and no longer affected whatever the energy outside, but as above so below each is simply a reflection of the other, so when one breaks the other will follow as linked. So I look at my own life and see it stuck, and outside. And know when either shifts the other will as a result. But can they ever do that at all?

Catching up 3/2012 #2

Bit of a loose end so decided to do one of my old style posts and hope a few people read it, and one day someone new (or old) comments like the old days when it was a community here. I've had a week free after a few weeks of visitors and arrangements, first diverted by a call to the doctor for an annual tablet review, and now they want a second blood pressure test as it was up 5 above normal. Caution over the required level possibly? The tablets they give are far worse than the alternative, my late grandma had record figures for years but only ill from the medication they gave her for it and made 99 despite them not because of them. After another long photo trip on Sunday I'm sorted for a week, although felt like going on another had the doctor yesterday and work today and won't be back in time for my weekly family meal tomorrow. I hope to break the east record over the weekend anyway and if so will be good enough.

I have definitely established the majority of my issues going out the last few years were due to my physical health problems which caused the anxiety rather than vice versa. It's all very well being a hypochondriac but even they get ill sometimes and mine lasted a couple of years. It's such a relief now feeling OK enough to do many more things again, there's still some way to go before I'm even half way back, and age alone will blunt my power compared to how it was naturally. But I appreciate it all now remembering when much was rarely possible. I still keep a skeleton of plans for the short term, which works so far and pretty essential with no one else to make arrangements with me besides friends calling with ideas occasionally (not all are welcomed). I have definitely accepted how the world is outside is not my field, and can only work on personal growth so I can face the world better exactly as it is, as if it goes to the dogs it's not part of my area of influence. I can't avoid observing this trend, have concluded a level of energy around the world as chaotic and like any other tension can break at any time and everything simply goes back to normal. I don't think whatever I do or don't do is able to alter any of that so better to be of the world but not part of it.

In my personal world it is impossible to dismiss past experiences of guidance when it goes a bit quiet. So I missed a chance (again, not my field of influence) to interview a celebrity on TV, but so many things do not happen in life only the ones which do exist. There should be a lesson in every negative experience if we look for it, and if the result is any damage is temporary but the lesson is permanent it also means we could have had a nicer way to learn but it didn't register. So the same problems keep coming back larger and larger till we finally learn which random combination of actions fixes it. Everyone is out of their depth in a new situation without much information, just watch Star Trek to see. You start with a new and apparently insoluble problem, and over time get a small hook in to change a small part, and then help from outside to see something else, and eventually after a group effort a few people find different solutions separately and the first one applied solves it. But it never prepares you for the next one ad infinitum. And in guidance we only get the big problems when we've solved the others, like a PhD. Those with the greatest problems to solve would be the ones at the end of their learning, as they'd climbed all the other mountains and only the highest ones left. That's the same with all areas, weights, education or climbing. It seems you've gone right back to the beginning but in fact if you get worse problems after the last apparently its so you learn to handle them, as otherwise you may reach spiritual levels for now, and it all falls apart when you hit a situation you couldn't handle and lose it all. Therefore you need to be immune to all the outside shit as any inner development can be lost if only subject to outside forces. There is the counter-theory that by reaching the spiritual peak then the same stuff happens and you simply don't care, so gives a dual route but not so easy to choose which to be on.

So these new situations are either random or for a purpose, and with enough repetition the evidence becomes a bit too great to be random. I can't help teaching what I know anyway and people ask me regardless so as long as it helps I am serving a secondary purpose. And if I can learn by trial and error but teach the same lessons to people to learn from my experience how many people's suffering could be avoided? The next thread is about where I get my information from. Most spiritual teachers combine what they know at the point they begin speaking without thought, as you start a subject on lessons learnt officially, and then spin off to the source of that knowledge and meaning of it even though you'd never heard it or worked it out beforehand. That is when you seem to cross to the universal level of knowledge, joining with the pool in the frequency you've hooked into, and it takes over. I do it all the time and can tell now when I am. It's very satisfying to see after you've begun a subject you look back and wonder how you managed to write that. You can also be asked a question and feel the answer come before you had time to stop and think, and put together loads of areas and new data to complete a picture way beyond what you actually knew, and fits together almost perfectly. I teach myself as well when that happens as it's basically following a thread from the beginning and into its next level.

My current gap is simply the way I feel. Until that does not crash like a brick every time something big or small goes wrong and often take a day or so to recover I am fucked. You can't become enlightened with blockages, and although this is a natural human reaction it has to go before I can advance. So every so often I get something to break the calm and see the reaction, now like an observer, understand the reason and the result, and simply wait for it to go away. That was actually the essence of my teaching, to just observe and not get involved directly, and if that's all I need to do it may kill it off alone. My mind suspects there's something else I need to do on top, but no clues as to what it is (meditate, the inner voice says), so this is a cue to stop spending 99% of my free time either online or watching TV and bloody well apply all the methods I learnt, often at a financial cost and usually at a time one. There is a perfect and very concise example of the greater self kicking in when required, as my conscious mind hadn't a clue what else to do, and apparently these little drops in frequency have been to remind me to keep it going more often however much fun I'm having online. The mind now says what if even that doesn't work, but it would wouldn't it.

Catching up 3/2012

Just in case anyone was wondering I will update my personal life after some while. Gone are the days when there was an active blog community with someone always adding something to read and plenty of comments, but if people still read then I still write. After the long time of health problems my energy is gradually coming back, and recently done far more than I have for a good few years, just because I could. That's not phobias, but not being well enough to do very much for some time. I've driven all over the place for photos, had plenty of visitors and made a few visits although have very few old friends left locally now. On the other side I've decided I need to collate my spiritual results as besides knowing most of the theory need to know how much has actually worked in all the time I've been using it.


The books claim the sky's the limit and we are smaller versions of god, and identical in nature and power. Everything else is a lesser level of the same, while my current requirement is to reach a level high enough so when things are going well and something happens to wreck it and the whole thing falls apart. That is still relying on the unreliable, as it all evens out as every up has a down. So however good a Monday may be it can all be gone by Tuesday. Nothing has changed, I still live on my own with no partner or many local friends, so whatever I do manage is a short term gain with no long term benefits. There is certainly a level just above the normal, better feelings through meditation (which wears off minutes later after the rare times it happens), seeing outside the visual spectrum, seeing parts of life which have to be arranged, getting information from dreams, knowing all sorts of things directly before learning any evidence, so more a pool of information and an ability to tune into it, and an extension of our existing sense ranges.


That is the start, maintaining those levels is the advanced level, as is the conscious creation and manipulation of physical matter which is supposed to be the final point of what comes alongside enlightenment, as if everything's your dream or part of you then you can control it all, after all it's all made of energy and quantum physics observes observation affects matter and everything is connected and reacts outside space and time, so we are just tuning into that up at the macro level. Totally scientific, not weird or strange at all, and if we see ourselves as energy and everything within that made from that energy in makes more sense. There's no conflict between spiritual development and science as we are only talking quantum effects and tuning into different frequencies. My job now is to raise my own so high I am above the everyday ups and downs of life, as however often or good the ups are they all go down and every corner we turn can have a pile of shit waiting for us to walk in. Growth is the equivalent of shit proof boots, so when the same things happen we aren't affected.


I have spent months trawling teachers online and have a pretty good collection of work for specific areas, as unless your own method works you need many more as well, not instead of. Not all masters were faithful to a single one, and many were until they could go no further and found another until they were completed. But others simply have to take what they can from wherever they can and add them all to the mix, as they all come at it from different angles. Some teach a single technique, others many, and others different ones for different areas. Falun Gong may well be an exception and complete, but as I need the computer to follow the exercises and they seem to have removed the link then that's taken a back seat as so hard to get it happening. But it's probably all guided and anything I do or don't do is aiming in the right direction. When I teach (as technically I am like a swimming teacher who can't swim but knows enough about the theory to teach others) I realised I need to know if any of it can actually be evidenced by my own experience before carrying on repeating empty theories, as most others can actually describe it all directly. I think there's just enough, the first step but still a step above normal, and once you leave normal you're outside the physical rules and still beyond the huge majority of individuals who aren't even aware there is any more than they know.


I was admittedly disappointed with the hard sell class pushed last week by Neale Donald Walsch, packaging the failure of his own course into a new solution costing more than the whole set of books altogether. Would god do that? Of course not. In fact, I've seen many teachers offer solutions to the failings in other people's methods, but this is the very first and certainly unique example of someone creating a course to address their own course's failings! No shit! Regardless of the messenger there's enough plausible stuff in the books already, and unless they are so diverse some people need 7 weeks/ 40 hours whatever tuition to put it all together then if he's dragged up new stuff only possible to teach in person for a fucking arm and a leg then he's drifted off the track and god hasn't told him! Now I'm not throwing the baby out with the bathwater, and keeping the teaching I've learnt, but lost total confidence in the messenger. But I won't give up. I can't ever see beyond the horizon to the future to how far I can get, but simply spending my life getting a few prizes and then a stream of manure in between is not my idea of making the best of things. Teachers say there is an alternative, I have seen the edge of it and working my way to the middle, if there actually is one.

The illuminati? Do me a favour!

Inspired by Ishtar's blog I will expand on my own observations there. The 'illuminati', those behind United Nations Agenda 21 (see wikipedia, it's all there) are not the elite, but actually the lowest level behind the development of every single group on earth. Let me explain. In spiritual terms we are in a huge mixed age comprehensive school, all grades and levels learning in the same place. The two lowest levels of the ego are not realising you shouldn't get what you want by taking it from others, and wanting power for its own sake. Therefore our politicians represent in the main those who want to be there to tell others how to live, pretty much like the police. Taxing people heavily is removing honestly earnt money to spend for your own reasons, whether to invade another country- because you can, or the arms deals make your donors rich and donate more, or you want to plunder their resources, but whichever way you look at it these are not honourable or spiritual acts.

So we have a learning pyramid, with the most at the lowest levels and thinning out as you reach the very top of enlightenment. They of course see through it all and couldn't care less as they know it's just a game and they can't be affected. The lowest ones will all learn and catch up eventually, but till then the physical world is absolute chaos, only understood by the enlightened, until enough reach the higher levels to leave the rest behind as a powerless minority much like the homeless tramps begging in city centres. Those at the top politically and often economically cannot be judged on their power or wealth but the fact they want the power and how they got the wealth. Those who earned it honestly are spiritually clean, but the majority who used government subsidies to rob the poor to pay their profits (eg wind farms and solar panels) or simply used mafia tactics to win contracts and steal the ideas of your opposition to get the edge in the market place. Sure, on the physical level these guys appear to be winning the race, but those at the spiritual top have nothing to prove and are content however they are as their peace and wellbeing comes from within. If you get to that point then there is no possible reason to want to organise lesser beings. You may want to teach, and many of these teachers (Guru Swami G and Prem Rawat to name two I know well) do not charge for their teaching at all, but somehow still manage regardless.

So when looking at those claiming or claimed to be illuminati or the elite think again. Do you respect the mafia? I doubt it, as you know that despite their enormous power and wealth they stole it all. Now see the majority of governments that way and you'll see that money and power do not make anyone an elite, far from it. If they are judged by their actions and not by their collections it is a quite different picture. The elite are only there as the majority of people do not realise this and trust them inherently. My job (as once you know something important it is your duty to share it) is to allow as many people as possible to discover the truth and not trust these crooks as far as you can influence their actions. See them for who they are, ruthless psychopaths in the main (even if some aren't it will allow you to see the main picture clearly) and will lie and cheat as much as they need to to get whatever they want. Our own Mr Obama would most likely fit the bill perfectly, his Mr Chu the energy secretary is carrying out his will to make petrol as expensive as it is in Europe, he just signed a bill to allow indefinite detention for US citizens without trial, and has run up the biggest US debt in history which he continues to raise when he needs even more. What has he achieved for the country a Republican (McCain in this case) couldn't have done? I don't know, but had McCain done exactly the same at this point in time as Obama would he have been considered a success and voted in a second time in November?

You must learn to analyse, go beneath the surface and learn how spiritual development affects people and apply it. Look at not the collections someone has amassed, whether wealth, land, power or even qualifications, for these things are all neutral. You can be a genius, but a bloody evil one, and get the best grades on earth and use the knowledge to kill people, often by creating the most efficient weapons and making millions from selling the ideas. All material success here is entirely irrelevant, only the individual counts, would you trust them with your money? Your children? Your life? These are the questions you have to ask. If you left your money out and left the room would it still be there when you came back? Would they forget to feed your cat when you were away and make excuses when found out? Would they help you when you were in trouble even when it ruined what they were doing at the time?

I won't dig myself in here any further by naming names, I've given one and you can get the formula and apply it to them yourself. There are a few politicians I do trust, on the little I know. And none of them have ever got above junior minister maximum. No surprise there, as their own principles prevent them from playing the same game it takes for the others to reach the top. Their personal honour and ethics stops them from having to join the 'elite' to appear to become one of them. The day Ron Paul, David Davies, Nigel Farage, Christopher Monckton and possibly one day Robert Halfon become leaders of their countries we'll know the public have probably woken up sufficiently to know what and who to vote for. In a new study at Cornell University Dr Dunning confirms the majority of people don't understand enough about politics to vote properly, and until they can we'll get more Obamas, Blairs, Camerons and worst of all, Gillards. Look at her parliamentary speech record to see why I say this.

I'm not changing

It's all gone very quiet. The work has been done, the muck has been cleared and even the money has been earned, and I'm left with whatever is left. There's nothing wrong, but nothing else really, unless I'm missing it. So if I make the first move, what move exactly is that? No ideas or inspiration coming. And I've got yet another bollocking for complaining here, but seeing if I can analyse it am basically who I am, and however much I am stretched will nearly always snap back to usual unless I'm actually broken. I grow by learning, not by changing. I don't change really, unless I lose something and that's shrinking. But growing? The only growth I know is spiritual growth, and rather than piddle about with small changes in your reactions and habits etc you transcend the lot and meditate. If I learnt to meditate and didn't then I'd deserve a bollocking but in 37 years (the age when I learnt) I'd never found anything else that did a thing really in comparison. So although I'm always happy to learn any escape route from a pile of manure I find myself in I don't think I'm going to change, and nor is anyone else by design either.

Plans. Well that's a good question, and besides going to the bank tomorrow for a change as I've actually earned some money to put in it's wait and see City Arizona. I also hope to get a copy of the magazine with my article by Tuesday assuming Smiths finally have it by then, if not it'll be ordered. I wrote the second article and sent it off already so hope to see a followup to keep that momentum going. I'll have to sort out the woman who wants to marry me without a relationship first- it's an offer of sorts but not even close to the mark. I'd only be missing a boring life with no opportunity of meeting anyone better, however long the odds. And if this looks like it I'm not really complaining- if you analyse it so far it's about half and half, which is exactly what my teacher Nick says is part of duality. It all evens out. So if someone writes about all the good times only then either they're just leaving out the rest or will have some big heap of it coming sooner or later, we all do.

So there's how it is right now. Things must be improving, but asI know what I want as I've had it and lost it then until I get it back I won't be right really. And no reason why I should, it's not normal or natural to be stuck on your own unless you're weird enough as many claim to enjoy it. Well I don't.

Looking at miracles

One thing I can't see happening is me or anyone else really being that original in their messages here, as besides not wanting to venture into fiction you can only draw water from the same well.
With little on the current system besides a likely venture into published writing in October (more at the time) I look at what's the most positive area I can see, that of miracles, as per the Celestine Prophecy. As there are no small or large miracles (anything which beats the rules of science is large) then they range in nature from seeing myself given gifts in the most complicated methods, where each event depends on the last until it gets there (who played Mousetrap?)- imagine the chances of setting up a similar system where every event around you- people, places and the exact timing came together to set one event off after another until the mouse is caught, not happening once to imply something but at least four times in just over a year and counting?

Then there's the outer teaching, people turning up with information as the next stepping stone, like when I read something the day before I'm asked the answer, which has happened to me for ages. Fuck science, they can't measure that beyond itself so shouldn't waste their time trying to dismiss it. Science is the set of information we can test and see, the rest still exists but just beyond its scope. Do you need a scientist to explain an orgasm or happiness to you? Because of course you know what they are but they couldn't test how they feel. Now imagine only a few people had orgasms, then they'd say they didn't exist. Hold on, we've got things we all share they can't detect, but because they experience them don't question their existence? And they call that scientific method? Please. Good at a few things, crap at the rest in many of these cases.

I reckon sometimes I'm being used to communicate, when I start a track and see myself explaining step by step logic without having thought about it beforehand and getting insights on areas I didn't really know enough to provide then I do seem to be taken over, as we all probably are. I think I can open this up to a point though, especially if someone asks me to for a specific reason. There is gold all around us but many people don't see it if it hasn't been made into jewellery. The next part that mystifies me is how the spiritually aware have as many problems and shortcomings as everyone else. I've mixed with them for years and few are the saintly or omniscient types you'd think from their writings, most are normal people again with one area highly developed but not able to cover the areas which aren't. There's no Superman, Jesus or Buddha around whenever you get a highly developed person. Maharaji is one of the closest who is, having heard hundreds of lectures over the years he clearly knows and understands more than most, and Guri Swami G on Youtube is pretty sharp as well, except when she said gurus are to live in normal surroundings as if you gain enlightenment in seclusion you lose it when come back to society. Then she sent one of her enlightened sages for a week alone in the woods. She also gets people to shave their heads although says appearance doesn't matter as a sign of renunciation. Surely if you're enlightened baldness isn't a requirement to maintain it?

Anyway, great scientists are both prone to crime and stupidity, as I have now discovered. There is one more superbrain as well who is one person able to back me into a corner 90% of the time, mainly as I haven't done enough preparation as few have the brains to challenge anyone as he can. He's sadly been off the radio for years as I've been listening to phone ins for 30 years and Tommy Boyd has the wide knowledge and understanding meaning he can basically rip apart anyone on any subject. But if you're that bright the others tend to think you're mad or stupid as half the time they can't follow what you're saying, partly as you think too fast for most to keep up with and make huge leaps of logic that would take slow steps of explanation before others could get it. Plus the ones which are intuitive and takes ages to back up using actual data. Money and fame certainly don't come from these abilities though, abuse, misunderstanding and arguments do, being accused by all adults from the age of about 9 you think you know everything (as you pick them up where they don't and you do), and are little use as a conventional teacher as if you add your own knowledge you can't prove it.

I hope now I'll go from the amount of knowledge I have of such miracles to use them to tip the balance of my own being from negative to positive. I use the counselling formula, my life till now has been the reason I am where I am and not the excuse, but those are bloody good reasons to be negative. It's not about time and effort like a degree, but just doing the right things. Whatever they may be.

Empty space isn't good enough

I shouldn't be surprised, but after clearing all the shit out of the way last month I was just left with no shit but no sugar either. Just no. So despite no anxiety over upcoming events I only have what I have, empty freedom. I hoped to feel better simply having a clear life but it really isn't enough on its own, just a good place to start building from. I know exactly what I'm missing and besides just blitzing social events with strangers hoping I'll hook up with some eventually I can't really do anything practical to fix it.

I did work quite a bit last week so not so guilty there's none this week, but still been doing some business on the phone which is just as important. Otherwise it's been checking up on my late grandma's house and shopping. So thank goodness nothing's wrong, but I'm not apparently getting anywhere otherwise besides completing my old sign collection after 2 1/2 years. I still look but doesn't matter now. I have absolutely no plans either, tomorrow I haven't even thought about and will see when it arrives, let alone beyond. Having my first article published will certainly help, covering another ambition but that's ahead yet. My research of all sorts happens whether I'm looking or not, new information turns up sooner or later but unless it affects me directly all seems to be fairly irrelevant otherwise.

So the half a week has been doing whatever I can think of and although I definitely needed a rest would like a little direction or hope as well. I did see a small guidance today when I discovered something I needed to know due to a last minute invitation or I'd probably never have seen it. That was just the little sign I needed to tell me all was on track- it has been ever since it started over a year ago and the short time I thought it had slipped off it showed me it hadn't in the same type of way it had the first. Whatever or whoever directs this film is pretty impressive when awakened, but the gaps between miracles still give the impression maybe nothing's different, although it has to be. It is odd how even when you've found things are more than they seem they are still exactly the same when that element is dormant. Of course I'm not in control of these miracles and may never be, so it's like having a woman and losing them, whatever you know was possible doesn't mean it lasts or may even return in different forms. Except here it's a force outside the known, talked about since the beginning of history but until it's happened to you would seem a fairy story.

So I am trying to contact the source of these miracles now. I've read the whole series of Conversations with God and plenty of the Celestine Prophecy and they tell me this is the next stage of our evolution, and those experiencing it now are the advance guard while only available to adepts till now. But I am slowly running out of time, you don't want a situation like retiring at 65 and not being fit enough to enjoy it. I believe I can't do any more to increase this power (especially as it found me, I didn't make it happen at all) and besides meditating more often I've got few other tricks that could do so from my side. But I can't deny it's there, and presumably all the time as it can tweak things at any time and can't do that popping in now and again as needs to know the whole picture. And it really isn't cheating to call up miracles, it's our heritage which very few have realised in practice. Does a cake taste any worse you made or bought? Calling up any other event is no different from making a cake, you just decide to make a woman or anything else you need and instead of having no direct way of getting them (there are the two lists, those like cakes we can more or less have at will and the others) just do it the same way. I think that's worked that one out right as I wrote it.

So I'd like to have a full communication with this force and then use it to get the things I want which don't come directly in the physical world like cake to all come the same way. Like decorating your house, you choose a vision and create it. I just aim to include as much as possible within that vision as I can see it's possible to happen, and ultimately become part of that force knowingly, as it can't really be from the outside, it's everywhere and everything. The reading has started to become the experience, but only just so far.

Last week's summary

There are only two possibilities, either I am being guided towards my ambitions and more or not. The latest event implies all is well as my article appears to have been approved for a mainstream publication. More when confirmed and is due in two months if all goes well. Last week went OK, work and the service and saw lots of friends and relatives afterwards at the tea. I've done more or less sod all since then (not that I need to) besides a few vital business calls and my first game of tennis for a couple of years, I must get the direction back again now as half the shots went randomly.

No plans at all really now although usually find things to do sooner or later. More videos to be made, Streetviewing till all roads have been checked and usual little jobs that have to be done including doctor and optician appointments to be made. The parallel aim is for the personal growth and guidance to not be so painful. I am still suffering from time to time (as we all do) but the goal of Buddhism/yoga is to transcend it and that is my primary goal now. My research on global warming has now reached the point where I've discovered nothing but positive or negative spin on the same data, ie they haven't a clue so can make it look as bad or harmless as they want as long as people don't check the raw figures which are nearly all online.

The IPCC who collate all the information make it very clear there are endless possible results from global warming, but uncertain and impossible to pin on mankind. They include many advantages as well which the media universally ignore, but the bottom line is whatever happens the same old weather will happen in different places just as it always has. There can't be anything else and the more time passes the more they discover and admit cooling is almost as likely now as warming, and if so they can only pack up and go home once global warming comes to an end, whatever the cause. Even though the IPCC report itself concludes the effects will barely be measurable or harmful. Most followers don't bother to check the IPCC reports but rely on the politicians, which is like relying on estate agents to do your survey. All the reports are published in full online and just the fraction I've read are far more like my own conclusions than anything from Greenpeace who used to be a fairly decent bunch and are now the Socialist Workers/Revolutionary party in Green. Green on the outside, all red on the inside. This is a three way war, the left are spreading the word while the thieves are creating it, and the innocent are fighting it. The left have also shown themselves up as the creepy envious morons they truly are, happy to destroy our civilisation that took hundreds of years to create as they hate the well off.

So global warming has been the best tool to use to bring about the fall of capitalism, so of course they've all jumped on it as although it doesn't really exist it's their most effective way to finally bring down society because they think it can. It could have been any other scare story affecting the world with a potential solution, this just fit the criteria better than any other. Anyone with a brain knows they're doing it, just as we know carbon taxes are theft, but unless those without brains stop voting the left in worldwide we're buggered. That's the real warning as our money's being distributed the same as it has been in Zimbabwe and Soviet Russia. Anyone who wants to see a low carbon economy just use Zimbabwe as your model, that's how we'll all be if they win the war against civilisation.

Progress is made

Rather than draw my own conclusions I'll present a summary of my experience and see what you think. My photo collection of old road signs has been going 2 1/2 years now, and around this year as any enthusiast would I've been dreaming about them. But then soon after I had one the same type would turn up, and it became from simple wish fulfilment to prediction. Then the already reported incident of seeing an exact sign (complete with missing end) which was then seen intact in a book of old photos and then in reality exactly as I saw it, but in a different location. So when I had two dreams within a few days just with the elusive graphic red triangle sign, only known 80 miles away, I expected it to deliver as till then they all had since the first one did. I didn't have to wait long, a couple of weeks or so, before one turned up 15-20 miles away, exactly the same as the three scattered around in the literal middle of nowhere and not worth even my effort as a collector.

I now believe I have crossed whatever barrier of connection with everything else, as synchronicities have happened in waking life for some time as well, including the story of finding three signs on the way to just one. I'm no different though- life's ups and downs still take me with them and don't feel anything has changed, but I know the world has something about it that isn't random and it can see and think and direct. But I was expecting the final dreams to deliver and despite the extreme rarity of the signs compared to the others I'd been shown it still performed exactly as hoped. I'm always being accused of not working hard enough for my progress, but if that means deliberately suffering when it's probably not required to do so then that's just commonsense. I already drove to Brighton at 7am to start the first stage of my meditation course after various long assessments in London, that was way beyond my preference but the goal was more important. And when I finished the course I did my hour a day or more for over 2 years, only tailing off when the results were too rare and when they did happen only lasted a few minutes. I gave it a fair run and didn't stop, just ran out of motivation.

But the point is there's no requirement to suffer to grow. As I say to my students it's not the hours you put in but the quality. With practice you're not studying so is different, but there it's more about finding a decent method and sticking with it, but no connection to anything having to be demanding to work. As my teacher says, it's simple to do but hard to keep doing. So the quality element there is not taking on something beyond you to overcome but not slipping out of practice. And many can be enjoyable as well, quite the opposite. So having narrowed down the two methods for me, the passive meditation hours and the active awareness you can do any time I just get on with it. Plus listening to as many talks online as I can (I did plenty in reality as well so just recharging the batteries with it) and can only keep going regardless and see what happens. For me it's not been feeling I'm connected with everything (not enlightenment but the stage before it) but knowing it from events. That's the first stage before all the others, so my progress is being indicated from outside rather than inside. Of course ultimately there should be no difference but so far I'm still me and suffering as before.

Presumably I must have done something to get to this level regardless. And why anyone should think you have to suffer as a means to avoid suffering seems a bit contrary to the intention. I think the outside/inside world is different now, and it's clearly always been the same for me and everyone, but doesn't come into action presumably until we can get what's happening and appreciate it. I'm sure some people would be freaked out and even imagine they were losing it when they were so tuned in they could dream the future and be shown things they'd never seen before. I've been doing clairvoyance for nearly 20 years so expect to get it right myself, and would be disappointed if I didn't. Like free energy devices we don't need to know how they work or intuition to use them. The same as our body, that gets on and takes care of itself, doctors know how most of it works but the users of anything don't need to know how to build them or how they work.

I only hope now whatever's guiding things both continues and extends to every other area in my life, it certainly needs it. And then I have some say in each area. But I think the first step has been taken.

Spiritual methods compared

I'm doing video blogs now, and quite different from these as I have to do it in one go (I do here but can pause for thought) and let it flow. So today I thought I'd see what satsang would flow here as I'm in a gap in the day and a good test for my own connecti0n.

So far I am not quite there. I have many ambitions and although reached the business lot on the level of survival haven't got the personal/social at all and just crept into the business extras. There are so many different approaches to success, the western one of killing yourself and hope you make it somehow, the spiritual of tuning into success energy and witchcraft. As I don't trust witchcraft and am too old and tired to kill myself any more then I'm left with the spiritual. I also believe the delay in many teachings and the lack of clear explanations is more to hold on to students than anything practical. I think any method which actually works has the power to transform almost immediately, and can be taught in minutes. I've spent hundreds of pounds and many hours checking them all out and see various themes and like enlightenment think any method which works will get you there sooner or later.
Mind you, some who appear to succeed still don't seem that happy or healthy even when they get their aims, so maybe we are destined to suffer until enlightened, as all the success and failure is in duality and tends to attract opposing energy whichever you have.

But while I'm in duality I have to use the tools within it and carry on the meditations to enlightenment in case they ever work. I am finding at the moment whatever I achieve I slip back soon afterwards, illustrating that exact point. Whether the average is improving I can't tell, only the guidance and connection has to be there so if that is the case then however bad things get they are not what they seem. Looking in more detail at the killing myself scenario that would involve taking other people's advice although I've done it all before with little or no success. Joining social and educational groups will get you one new friend if you're really lucky, and lots more anonymous people who are just around and mean nothing to you. I go to the gym a few times a week though and although made no new friends have plenty of people I talk to after 7 years even if none yet outside there. But no women as per. I did go to a party recently and the one apparently single woman was averagely attractive, peculiar and probably left wing. Besides living in the arse end of London that was not a winning formula plus she was half my age, as by the time she gets to 30 however weird is bound no longer to be single.

These represent the reality of 'making more effort'. It's quality not quantity, and the right people tend to turn up anyway and even if you go out five nights a week as I used to you don't find more- in fact many of the same people appear a few times as it's not that many people locally who bother with these places. But so many people believe this is possible, although one did just change her mind to agree that if you go out with the intention it's more likely to happen regardless of what you do. I actually think it's easier to develop spiritually as you can practice as much as you like, compared to socially. My media work is also aimed at a social life though as if people recognise you then they're more likely to come and talk to you, and there are always the groupies. Look at Woody Allen to know as long as you're known then just being famous is enough for many women. Not for men mind you, we stick to the basics.

I have to moan sometimes

So far the week has been a combination of routine and a blown TV (my first new one, only about 5 years old) and then a desperate runaround to get a spare before I lost track of Neighbours. I got one in the end (about 35 years old) but will save me having to spend money immediately as they're never worth fixing now unless they cost a fortune new. I'm supposed to waste another afternoon tomorrow going to Bushey to take a photo of my grandparent's gravestone, there is a picture but apparently easier to send me to do a new one than look for it. I've taken every possible photo between here and there (at least 10 miles) and no need or wish to return. My conclusion that I've completed my collection of tools for coping with the physical and now need to add the spritual ones is correct. There are no more tricks I know for survival and they're nowhere near enough. I'll never get where I want just with them, and can only do as many spiritual practices as I can now as nothing else will get me anywhere.

I still have absolutely no plans, it would have been nice to be free tomorrow (I could go another day if I think of an alternative) and have to find a way to make the free times less boring as technically if there's nothing wrong I should be happy but it wears off after a while. I really need better. Nothing's become of my latest article but can keep sending it around in case, like any other publication. I suppose if I wrote a guide to masturbation or guesses which nationality has the largest wedding tackle I could get a job for life but I'm not lowering my standards for crap I turn over whenever I see it.

Having said all that in just over a year now despite a few gaps and turds (who doesn't get them?) the guidance has to have been present since it began. The way things just happen when I need them whatever I do, and one leads to another in such complex ways where one link missing would stop the end result tells me I must now be on the right track. Near the end I don't know, but on a mission. And I am doing spiritual teaching now, not to do with enlightenment (although I do explain Nick Roach's method to anyone interested but that's his teaching and not mine), but more the supernatural which I am capable of doing. When asked (not to me) what qualifications do we have the answers vary, but mine combines a formal training in all sorts of mental therapies, healing, and psychic development. The meditation I've learnt is for my own benefit although only on the margins of that when it happens. I'd do it a lot more again otherwise.
My own psychic development is stuck at the minor powers anyone can do, and little use to me except to show other people it's possible as an inspiration. I'll keep working on the big stuff, and the handful of people who claim such things demonstrates the huge gap between basic and advanced. But if I keep having to rely on the trivial shit around me every day and actually care about it then my life won't have meant very much in the end. That's why I need to transcend the mundane but for all I know it's not even possible. But the clues are there.

Learning is complete

I've actually been really busy today with no actual plans or obligations to start with. And with the link to Facebook can mention things about there and people may actually be part of it. I wanted to take a photo of the sign I found last week during the day, and after the last time I did the same return to one in daylight discovered they look far better taken at night with the flash as the lens dims the scene down in good light and makes them grey. Then I delivered the third pack of election leaflets locally and a trip to the little supermarket for more food. At least the day hasn't been wasted. Then quite outside my control someone obsessed with slagging off Israel has been non stop posting scurrilous propaganda which (knowing the true facts) would be nearly as bad if I left it unremarked on. For a few weeks not a single person joined in on my side till a week ago, and was beginning to wonder if they were either scared or didn't exist. I doubt many people will take notice but being subject to this all my life as a Jew had to learn the facts or be treated like a christ killer. We only just shook that off when the Vatican pardoned us 2000 years too late and the Arabs now take over. The lies are similar, the hate is identical. If even one person questions their beliefs it will be a miracle as technically I don't even expect that much.

Work tomorrow so no need to plan, although can wander about afterwards as it doesn't get dark till about 7 now. Things have gone a bit flat since the weekend, as unfortunately lack of bad doesn't make good however much we try and make it so. I've got no more plans for now though, as always tomorrow is covered so can deal with Thursday nearer the time. I expect I'll be back Streetviewing as it's just like metal detecting, anything could be hiding there but you have to go out and look. I did that for about 15 years but mainly found old money. I sold a few army cap badges for a few pounds and that was about the best I did, but got me out and about which was half the point of it. You get far better on beaches but living in London I only got to do that a couple of times and found a model car and a makeup compact which my mother may still be using. And the digging's a lot easier as well.

Overall I feel I've learnt all I can about life in the known world, and can only progress elarning beyond it now. There is a line between normal and transcendent experience and with all the effort of 20 years can just cross over at times, but not far or for long. If it's possible as many tell me to cross over properly that must be my next aim, as I feel there is something there I need to become. My own teaching is very limited as it only addresses the practical and not the spiritual, but if the spiritual works the rest is easy. You don't even care about most of the trivial things in life, I've mixed with these guys long enough to know that. I'm like the person in the book who's learnt everything about flying except how to pilot a plane themselves. I can teach it, dissect an engine, understand the science etc, but can't actually do it. That's not good enough really is it? I may even be able to help others ascend spiritually as there's little useful left to learn I haven't found already, and discarded most since. You try and test and decide pretty quickly after a while. Like many other things I've had the crumbs but not the cake and by now it really isn't enough. Some twat (for anyone who spams others is) sent me an offer to do this on Youtube, he gives free samples which is better than most but doesn't just want to sell me the products, but for a monthly fee. Now if I'm going to give blood I want to know how much they're taking in advance, I don't want to instal a permanent line thank you. Yes, definitely a twat. Plus I've already bought something from his rival who does offer all the material on CD so once you've paid you can use it forever. Any accountant knows to budget you have to know the fixed costs and there's no cap if paying every month.

I suppose realising I haven't got much more of any use to learn here is some sort of landmark, I'm not looking for any more as the progress now is about changing myself, not learning anything more. I can see when I'm being conned- the fact so many people still fall for internet scams explains why the IPCC can rob them the same way. Maybe if the Nigerians start asking for money to stop global warming they may make even more than they do now. There's no difference except we can choose whether to pay them in advance to get SIXTEEN MILLION DOLLARS but we can't stop paying the green taxes. They should really be called red taxes as they're bleeding us dry. End of sermon.

Progress report 2/2010

My next hope is if my life truly has become guided to extend that from finding road signs to all aspects. It's either there or not, and if is then either me or an outside intelligent universe. I would say from teachings it's more likely to be me, as a sign of all the spiritual development and somehow a matter of learning how to control chaos.

The current system is only really whether my photo will make a newspaper, no one would notice it or lead to any more work but at least will have done it. So far in the freedom (although am working tomorrow but really need the money) I've done another video and otherwise been stuck indoors in the rain. I have found another sign on yesterday's marathon Streetview (it's finally added a few more roads) although a repeat it has paint on where the one I have hasn't, so worth a visit.
Of course one aspect of enlightenment is although one realisation is there's no one else here but you, you don't feel alone but connected. That's a typical paradox of it you'll never get until it happens, but just seeing some sort of organisation in what ought to be chaos, and then seeing it seems to be actually working in my favour is half way there and I'd say the second level of enlightenment, as the first is the synchronicities, now they are for some sort of purpose as well. Then choosing them would be the third. In the end you've got it all and detach from it but like any route may not get the whole way in one lifetime.

Another thing that can happen writing this, just as it does in any situation when you talk about your life, is you work things out. Just by putting it all out there you see it clearly in one place and things can fall into place. If nothing else my collections and CV will continue to increase, although none have yet to actually affect my life in any other way (besides eliminating signs I need to look for). I think so far I've had one client because they saw me on TV and that's probably it. But there are foundations, and some most other people don't have, so I have to keep busy and hope whatever I've started keeps going while I'm getting on with other things.

Progress and agoraphobia

"Why why should we care Joe, why should we despair Joe? We'll win out, yes we'll win out, yes we'll win out in the end". Now some people in the UK will remember this just as I do, but heard it for the first time in about 30 years after I finally got hold of the series of Look and Read called Joe and the Sheep Rustlers first shown in 1973 when I began catching the odd episode when off school, but never seen them all. So now I've managed to hear it again thanks to the internet, although it was all shown at once a couple of years ago I checked very soon after and too late. Patience and persistence there.

I have been pretty busy, work has snowballed as it usually does for no apparent reason, my friends from America are here this week after a 4 year gap and probably about the same next time, if there is one. Two more old signs over the weekend found posted on Flickr so on quite a roll. And according to a British court today global warming is officially a religion, as someone won their case on religious/philosophical discrimination grounds, as they were a green warmist, or 'bedwetter' as Lord Monckton and now I call them. A few leaders, many minions and millions of unknowing victims. The scam of the millenium.
So my feeling last week things would happen seems not failed but gradual, building up since about the weekend and continuing to each day. If I picked that up that is a new level of progress and with evidence comes faith, not the imaginary religious type but the knowing you get from experience.

The new counter is clocking about 10 a day, which means it's the same as when the other vanished and a good base to start on. I'm reading more now it's dark early and learning how incredibly similar agoraphobia is and people's reactions to not being able to do most of the things they once could. It's a new arrival to us all, it comes after having little or no problem with anything, you have one or two bad experiences and it arrives in full. Then it's simply a matter of how big your circle is each day, month or year. Even those who do what I may never do again are still often terrified while they do and wears them out for days after. I say don't bother as once you've done these things already and often no longer want or need to then most are expendable. It's really a free world when it comes to taking orders and if it's your job then you have to get one that's safe. One woman who doesn't care I can't go to the theatre, restaurants and most of the other places they usually love going and I've won. I can't imagine many men who'd turn down a woman that didn't like going out, they'd probably propose to them despite any nasal or other prominent wart. So why do women love activity so much?

Many women of all ages moan their partners hardly ever take them out, I went to discos to meet girls, girls tended to go even when you'd pulled as they liked them. And so it continued. Once a man has a woman he's often happy just to sit around the house like the cat while she's around. Go out when so comfortable and the TV on- why? The selection of countries I've seen has been interesting, but 200 miles or so of Belgium at 150mph basically tells you what you always heard, it's a flat green plain with small bunches of grotty old houses. Seeing famous places like Amsterdam, Paris, Copenhagen etc are interesting but no need to make a habit of it. America is pretty uniform for 1000 miles, I must have driven that much on the bus there and barely noticed a change. Skyscrapers surrounded by henhouses surrounded by grass or trees. Each town or city except DC was a clone of the last, although Cleveland was a lot nicer and I've seen some of the best small towns ever in the northern states and Canada on TV, but I didn't see much personally. Morocco was just like the films but again no need to make a habit of it and I ate on board ship which was free of germs. They warned everyone to avoid eating locally and those who ignored it suffered the consequences. Beaches and posh hotels can be nice but only so much sea and sand in a lifetime and the hotels all relied on the other people as deadly dull when they weren't there.

So maybe agoraphobics are an evolutionary level, ie being content where they are. I only know one who wants to go to places they can't, I think most are more like me and are happy unless pushed to beyond their personal boundaries. People can learn a lot from us as being content is one of the highest levels, as above happiness which is transitory. I'm rarely happy nowadays for obvious reasons for regular readers. But I am content when I've been out or seen someone and then can relax at home in front of a screen. I learned a lot from my cats and clearly have more in common with them than most people do.