Garbage

While I'm here, I am learning life is about a few important things and the rest are illusions to be broken. Happiness wins over all, and people are the best source. And when it comes to impressing people it's not what you've done but how you present yourself. All I will add to that is I only hope enough people make allowances for when people aren't able to do what they could for any reason and stick with people whatever they may or may not be able to do. For example (people need them) if your boy/girlfriend doesn't want to go out, use my attitude, I'm lucky to have them, who cares whether they want to go somewhere or not. It's not important. If I had a wife who never left the house I wouldn't mind.

So there's today's philosophy. I've had to challenge and test all my concepts of a hostile world, and where I'd imagined if you didn't measure up (as I never do) you'd be rejected thank goodness were fairly wide of the mark. As my therapist said years ago, if I make allowances for people why shouldn't they? It really makes no difference to me whether a friend wants to come somewhere with me or not as I can go anyway, it's whether they're my friend. Despite going to football hundreds of times my father's only been with me three times when I was too young to go on my own. By the time I was ten I was standing at Stamford Bridge by the players' entrance on my own having travelled half way across London by train and never looked back. And finally (on this point) a few of my friends missed my Barmitzvah as they were on holiday. Big deal. I enjoyed the people who were there. You never get a full house whatever you plan and it's never necessary whatever the relatives try and tell you. And having been to all but one in the past myself have now reached the point where I drop out for health and sanity reasons.

And I probably couldn't have worked all this out without this blog. Or any feedback. Well, the cold has left its mark and I still don't feel up to much, so I've done sod all today, got one appointment in a minute then nothing. I really hope I don't waste the time as it's fairly valuable and not always free. Even I start to feel guilty on days like this. The last advanced part of the test possibly. The shopping list isn't urgent but grows, and I'm sure if I do go out later all but one (toilet paper and frozen pizza) will be closed. So the air spray, deodorant, spare car keys, blank CDs, admirals pie, black bags and anything else will have to wait, having been to two of the shops in question last week with no result. These details are the fascination I provide of my life which anyone actually with me would see so why not here? And with no one ever (possibly) to share any of my life with I can only share it here and can't make these daily events more interesting by sharing them with another person. I know I've said all this before but always in different ways, I hope. Oh, and crisps.