Last year's housemate Jonty watches Big Brother with me this year.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Back to normal
Well this is the post I was going to make before I was diverted. So I've used up my quota of rude words for 2008 and possibly the whole decade, but I'm not using the racist dreck you get on Youtube which really does deserve some sort of action.
Anyway, besides now being thoroughly confused having to juggle who knows how many anonymous posters and supposed to know who said what when I reply I don't know. As for commenting on my life I can only report it as it is and select the bits that aren't so dreadfully ordinary I'd be sounding like many people I do know. But 99% of life is little things and if we only report the big ones we'd be here about once a year if that. And the ones you read in the newspapers are so exaggerated as they know as well most of life is so ordinary.
I have cleared last week's caca out the way, and am now clear for another of freedom. I have to say criticising people's life tends to encourage more details as way of explanation, and I'll start by talking about foundations. These are the worst our daily life can get, the people and places around us that make the problems shared and weigh less. Being an only child there is no chance for any conversation growing up with anyone on my own level at home, and sharing the dire nonsense between my parents towards the end of their marriage. And after it which was even worse. And when you stop growing at 15 and see all your friends carry on for a few years and look down to hear what you're saying it doesn't help either. That's one reason I developed such a sharp tongue, but would not like to become physically threatened either. So the combination of a fragmented family and being the size of a girl was a start with a kill or cure path for many more years for my future. Like a boy named Sue really and look what happened to him.
The IQ business was just like having curly hair or anything else. I didn't make a big deal of it, I went to a psychologist when I was 11 and they take IQ tests before anything else. I only wanted to join Mensa for the women and social life as I can say Funtrivia is the closest thing to Mensa online but can rarely meet the people as you could in a local group. We usually encourage each other and make friends possibly for life as a result. 8 years and counting for me.
So my only foundations within my control were business ones, qualifications and money. Both went reasonably well although I never got a master's degree as I preferred not to pay for a full time one and the part time one almost killed me. Or a recognised profession mainly as I couldn't manage O level maths and half the ones I could have tried needed it. I have the one I want now but it's not recognised or I'd have been working properly some years ago. I presume the jobs I did apply for made the employers laugh when they saw my qualifications although if I was happy to add up their figures, sort their papers or serve their customers (and had done so previously for 5 years when I did work) they may as well have given me a chance. But it never happened.
So basically with the start and following life I had, I was then released into the world alone with a house to live in, and little else. To relate to a previous comment, had my attitude to women been so bad I would have had none at all, but it was quality not quantity. I had plenty around but never the ones I wanted. So I am still living alone and as a result of the low foundation and hardly anyone to talk to at home (or since my friend went abroad in 2002) can't have a conversation with anyone besides my family from day to day or longer. So I say it all here. Those of you who can talk to someone at home have a foundation. I haven't had that for 16 years besides a few tenants who were more trouble than the few pounds some actually paid me. They just gave orders and complaints. They weren't friends (usually) or partners or family so didn't really do the same job.
That is why I also have to struggle to find things to do, as faced with day after day of nothing your imagination is stretched to its limits. I usually manage to think of enough to do just for the next day which of course is enough. Besides looking after the family members as I've already mentioned. My grandma doesn't like anyone besides family and friends helping her and as her friends are not family it was normally down to me and my parents as she has no other close family left. Had I got any of the jobs I applied for she would have had years of shopping and hospital trips to do without me to take her, as would my mother for the shopping. I'm talking 2 hours in Tesco in grandma's case, and was happy to do so and all the other jobs when we got home. All when I would have been working. And I can't see how I'd have had the time or patience to take all the further psychotherapy courses had I been working as I'd want to piss around when I got home, I always have. I spent the best of 2 years on those courses so couldn't have squeezed them into my spare time and still done that well somehow. Then I found there was precious little work in the field and that was that.
But life has its moments, good sometimes, but because of the lowest foundations can always drop right down to the bottom when it doesn't as there is so little of a support system. I presume those who stand and point the fingers either don't live alone or want to, and by averages about 80% are not only children. Being given a start where you have less than most people you're going to turn out different at best, weird at worst. And if I blog I can't harass people as unlike speech people can turn round and stop reading. So I rarely mention my problems in real life as people can't do a thing about them and makes them avoid you. On paper it becomes a form of literature and some people do like to read about it, like seeing arguments on Big Brother.
So although tomorrow is free I haven't a clue what I'm going to do. I've said already my health, like most people's, is variable, and when I was better applied for hundreds of jobs. Don't blame me if I didn't get them. But having a chronic condition means any stress and it comes back big time and knocks you out for a year or more as it did to me. So given for whatever reasons the time is there it has to be used somehow. The camera let me go a little further each time so I didn't notice the extra too much, until I could cover a much bigger area. But I can always turn round unlike any arrangement with other people. With phobias it's not what you can do but what you can't that diagnoses them, and my list of those is still by far the winner. I'm used to it but many people clearly aren't. I'm not Jesus and never tried to be so if they throw stuff at me they'll get it back. I'll water down my previous comment which was misunderstood as was hypothetical, that I wish they would have a website and get the same sort of comments as they blithely deliver as if they have the authority to assess others as their superiors. That's the only way we'd see how they'd react and I'd imagine the death threats, I think someone on Youtube actually ended up resorting to one against me, and I recognise the style again here.
Anyway, besides now being thoroughly confused having to juggle who knows how many anonymous posters and supposed to know who said what when I reply I don't know. As for commenting on my life I can only report it as it is and select the bits that aren't so dreadfully ordinary I'd be sounding like many people I do know. But 99% of life is little things and if we only report the big ones we'd be here about once a year if that. And the ones you read in the newspapers are so exaggerated as they know as well most of life is so ordinary.
I have cleared last week's caca out the way, and am now clear for another of freedom. I have to say criticising people's life tends to encourage more details as way of explanation, and I'll start by talking about foundations. These are the worst our daily life can get, the people and places around us that make the problems shared and weigh less. Being an only child there is no chance for any conversation growing up with anyone on my own level at home, and sharing the dire nonsense between my parents towards the end of their marriage. And after it which was even worse. And when you stop growing at 15 and see all your friends carry on for a few years and look down to hear what you're saying it doesn't help either. That's one reason I developed such a sharp tongue, but would not like to become physically threatened either. So the combination of a fragmented family and being the size of a girl was a start with a kill or cure path for many more years for my future. Like a boy named Sue really and look what happened to him.
The IQ business was just like having curly hair or anything else. I didn't make a big deal of it, I went to a psychologist when I was 11 and they take IQ tests before anything else. I only wanted to join Mensa for the women and social life as I can say Funtrivia is the closest thing to Mensa online but can rarely meet the people as you could in a local group. We usually encourage each other and make friends possibly for life as a result. 8 years and counting for me.
So my only foundations within my control were business ones, qualifications and money. Both went reasonably well although I never got a master's degree as I preferred not to pay for a full time one and the part time one almost killed me. Or a recognised profession mainly as I couldn't manage O level maths and half the ones I could have tried needed it. I have the one I want now but it's not recognised or I'd have been working properly some years ago. I presume the jobs I did apply for made the employers laugh when they saw my qualifications although if I was happy to add up their figures, sort their papers or serve their customers (and had done so previously for 5 years when I did work) they may as well have given me a chance. But it never happened.
So basically with the start and following life I had, I was then released into the world alone with a house to live in, and little else. To relate to a previous comment, had my attitude to women been so bad I would have had none at all, but it was quality not quantity. I had plenty around but never the ones I wanted. So I am still living alone and as a result of the low foundation and hardly anyone to talk to at home (or since my friend went abroad in 2002) can't have a conversation with anyone besides my family from day to day or longer. So I say it all here. Those of you who can talk to someone at home have a foundation. I haven't had that for 16 years besides a few tenants who were more trouble than the few pounds some actually paid me. They just gave orders and complaints. They weren't friends (usually) or partners or family so didn't really do the same job.
That is why I also have to struggle to find things to do, as faced with day after day of nothing your imagination is stretched to its limits. I usually manage to think of enough to do just for the next day which of course is enough. Besides looking after the family members as I've already mentioned. My grandma doesn't like anyone besides family and friends helping her and as her friends are not family it was normally down to me and my parents as she has no other close family left. Had I got any of the jobs I applied for she would have had years of shopping and hospital trips to do without me to take her, as would my mother for the shopping. I'm talking 2 hours in Tesco in grandma's case, and was happy to do so and all the other jobs when we got home. All when I would have been working. And I can't see how I'd have had the time or patience to take all the further psychotherapy courses had I been working as I'd want to piss around when I got home, I always have. I spent the best of 2 years on those courses so couldn't have squeezed them into my spare time and still done that well somehow. Then I found there was precious little work in the field and that was that.
But life has its moments, good sometimes, but because of the lowest foundations can always drop right down to the bottom when it doesn't as there is so little of a support system. I presume those who stand and point the fingers either don't live alone or want to, and by averages about 80% are not only children. Being given a start where you have less than most people you're going to turn out different at best, weird at worst. And if I blog I can't harass people as unlike speech people can turn round and stop reading. So I rarely mention my problems in real life as people can't do a thing about them and makes them avoid you. On paper it becomes a form of literature and some people do like to read about it, like seeing arguments on Big Brother.
So although tomorrow is free I haven't a clue what I'm going to do. I've said already my health, like most people's, is variable, and when I was better applied for hundreds of jobs. Don't blame me if I didn't get them. But having a chronic condition means any stress and it comes back big time and knocks you out for a year or more as it did to me. So given for whatever reasons the time is there it has to be used somehow. The camera let me go a little further each time so I didn't notice the extra too much, until I could cover a much bigger area. But I can always turn round unlike any arrangement with other people. With phobias it's not what you can do but what you can't that diagnoses them, and my list of those is still by far the winner. I'm used to it but many people clearly aren't. I'm not Jesus and never tried to be so if they throw stuff at me they'll get it back. I'll water down my previous comment which was misunderstood as was hypothetical, that I wish they would have a website and get the same sort of comments as they blithely deliver as if they have the authority to assess others as their superiors. That's the only way we'd see how they'd react and I'd imagine the death threats, I think someone on Youtube actually ended up resorting to one against me, and I recognise the style again here.
Continued
I'm pretty disappointed with the way too many people haven't learnt how to save their opinions for situations of equality. Any cunt with a computer can trawl people's sites all day long and call them names, and so what? They look like cunts. End of.
Now repeating the same insults and trying to make me look worse than you is never going to work as you attacked me and even if I overreact for a minute (you should really see overreacting, someone called Tommy Moore showed me the meaning of that once in a live chat), it doesn't change the situation. You anons are all bullies and if saw me in public would never dare to speak a word of the vile nonsense you do. I'm happy to let you on as this is a democracy and for some reason people do like to read it (according to the stats) so why not have some car crash blogs if it entertains others. But they are not witnessing any more than a playground brawl and it's the first time it's happened to me since I left school as adults rarely behave like children as other adults would rarely let them get away with it. Except behind the dual shields of distance and anonymity. I wouldn't dream of posting anywhere as anon as it shows no respect for the poster, as dislike the content or not they are the ones who are sharing their lives, you are not and are just happy to read it and feel wonderful as you are apparently better than them.
Sadly not a word I or anyone else says will change these attitudes, just as the people on the road who blame you when they hit your car due to their selfish driving. Now they have been given the freedom of the internet they can do it all day and night with no damage to their cars. At least I try and create rather than destroy. I was taught if you can't say anything nice don't say it at all. Even when I don't at least I know I was wrong. You lot never will.
Now repeating the same insults and trying to make me look worse than you is never going to work as you attacked me and even if I overreact for a minute (you should really see overreacting, someone called Tommy Moore showed me the meaning of that once in a live chat), it doesn't change the situation. You anons are all bullies and if saw me in public would never dare to speak a word of the vile nonsense you do. I'm happy to let you on as this is a democracy and for some reason people do like to read it (according to the stats) so why not have some car crash blogs if it entertains others. But they are not witnessing any more than a playground brawl and it's the first time it's happened to me since I left school as adults rarely behave like children as other adults would rarely let them get away with it. Except behind the dual shields of distance and anonymity. I wouldn't dream of posting anywhere as anon as it shows no respect for the poster, as dislike the content or not they are the ones who are sharing their lives, you are not and are just happy to read it and feel wonderful as you are apparently better than them.
Sadly not a word I or anyone else says will change these attitudes, just as the people on the road who blame you when they hit your car due to their selfish driving. Now they have been given the freedom of the internet they can do it all day and night with no damage to their cars. At least I try and create rather than destroy. I was taught if you can't say anything nice don't say it at all. Even when I don't at least I know I was wrong. You lot never will.
Sunday, August 03, 2008
A bit more information
There are two types of criticism, informed and judgemental. Now my anonymous reader who loves to stand back and feel superior by reflected comparison is clearly of the second type, and had he the brains to understand eccentricity, instead of like common people throughout the ages condemn it, none of what I write would go straight over his head. I say he, but being anon I should really say it but it doesn't read well.
A little about phobias for those who do want to know, agoraphobia and claustrophobia are both misunderstood and actually the same thing. Agoraphobia is the fear of leaving home and claustrophobia is the result once you've left there. Taking photos is open ended, meaning I go and come back when I feel like it. The exact opposite of a job.
Now I've got that out of the way, there's little else to report, but continue wishing nothing less than serious illness on anon simply as it's the only way he'll learn the truth, as he refuses to listen to those who know. Their choice and can reform in time to avoid such fate.
I can't really follow that.
A little about phobias for those who do want to know, agoraphobia and claustrophobia are both misunderstood and actually the same thing. Agoraphobia is the fear of leaving home and claustrophobia is the result once you've left there. Taking photos is open ended, meaning I go and come back when I feel like it. The exact opposite of a job.
Now I've got that out of the way, there's little else to report, but continue wishing nothing less than serious illness on anon simply as it's the only way he'll learn the truth, as he refuses to listen to those who know. Their choice and can reform in time to avoid such fate.
I can't really follow that.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Read this, suckers!
I have to say first despite the standard nature of the comments besides a few, that was partly the aim of the last few entries as having hardly any for months had to 'spice it up a bit' or I feared I'd lose the last few visitors I had. Not that I god forbid would ever make a thing up, it was about revealing more than most should in return for a bit more interest. Negative/positive, as they say on the radio all listeners are counted equally and they don't care why they're listening. Bums on seats, literally the bottom line. Even controversial politics had no effect before as it's possibly becoming more mainstream, and that would be a good thing as we need to fight the bastards before they send us all to the third world economically and technically. One reason so many politicians are apparently against cars as they realise with no fuel we'll have to do without them so maybe are trying to prepare us now by making driving one as hard as possible.
So back to my week, well some may get a shock, others a heart attack, I worked more this week than I have for ages. It usually happens in bunches and (these hours are all officially recorded otherwise I'd be looking for trouble here) the person I do the tax accounts for had an inspection and a return in one week and I am the bookkeeper. That kept me busy I can tell you. Plus one normal client. All over now as far as I know and I can relax and do fuck all until I can think of the next thing to do not with a screen ahead of me.
One thing I've confirmed here is the psychological spread of the readers. I know most reasonable and moderate people tend to keep quiet, but allowing for them the remainder have tended to represent all the ends of the scale, ie the best and the worst. From the mildly authoritative personality to the truly fascist, and the developed spiritual at the other end. On my trivia site the 'right wing', or the goats I think the bible called them would probably not even have reached their first warning but just been booted out on the spot. As I can premoderate this isn't necessary as the real scum now don't appear, and the rest who do are clearly welcome as no one is above criticism. And as Tashi points out, only make themselves look like cunts (my choice of word there). Going online and attacking innocent strangers (magnified by anonymity) is just taking the school bully online, and we all know the sort of impotent insecure tossers are school bullies.
I am professionally next to being a psychologist, and have studied personal development for a few years at college. These guys demonstrate a total ignorance of humanity and human nature just as a dog or cat would. It's the standard bell shaped curve with a few extremes either end and most in the middle, and you only notice the extreme ones. We all know we're there, they're the ones who almost kill us by trying to save 10 seconds and overtake you on a corner or junction. Holding a mobile phone and if dark with their fog lights dazzling you to raise the chances of an accident to maximum. A few times I've been lucky enough to see these twats pulled by the police the second they've shot a red light or weaved across the road, and one real pro overtook me as I turned left and turned his car over just round the bend as I discovered when I caught him up. He'll never do it again (no, he's alive and wasn't hurt at all, but learnt his lesson the only way he could, by failing.
When the unfortunate individual who cussed me yesterday becomes ill as I hope to goodness he does (or she?) and can't work for months I will come and laugh from 9-5 5 days a week, not for a penny. If the only way people can learn is from their own failures then so be it, fail. Of course it is always best to learn from other's mistakes but for that you need an IQ in 3 digits (OK, mine's 169 as I mentioned it and someone's bound to ask), so the only way any of these poorly developed individuals must be forced by life to the very position they are unable to understand in any other way.
Same for smokers by the way, I can be judgemental as well as we are all shades of grey and not perfect. I've never smoked, never been addicted to anything besides sex (the way we are meant to be) so can't figure why people want to breathe in poison and filth. And then some moan about it and still do it. Pathetic. Just to show I don't understand everything but not an offer from Carol Vorderman would make me smoke even one to find out why. I have tried them and it was exactly what I'd expect, and that was it. So maybe I do understand, people try something totally unpleasant and instead of doing as I did and rejecting it saw every other twat doing it and decided it must be a good idea. And the bloody drunks who jam up the hospitals should be transported. Three strikes for all criminals and go to Ireland. They have the room and the climate. It would cost too much to melt and build inside Greenland but there are other places all round the world they could try, look how successful they became in Australia. And maybe all smokers and druggies could go as well, except half my friends chain smoke so I'd miss out as well. The few who wanted to stop were cured by me in an hour or two so it can be done.
By the way, I have views on other sensitive areas but I'm not that fucking stupid to mention them in public. It does get filtered before it's typed, believe me.
So back to my week, well some may get a shock, others a heart attack, I worked more this week than I have for ages. It usually happens in bunches and (these hours are all officially recorded otherwise I'd be looking for trouble here) the person I do the tax accounts for had an inspection and a return in one week and I am the bookkeeper. That kept me busy I can tell you. Plus one normal client. All over now as far as I know and I can relax and do fuck all until I can think of the next thing to do not with a screen ahead of me.
One thing I've confirmed here is the psychological spread of the readers. I know most reasonable and moderate people tend to keep quiet, but allowing for them the remainder have tended to represent all the ends of the scale, ie the best and the worst. From the mildly authoritative personality to the truly fascist, and the developed spiritual at the other end. On my trivia site the 'right wing', or the goats I think the bible called them would probably not even have reached their first warning but just been booted out on the spot. As I can premoderate this isn't necessary as the real scum now don't appear, and the rest who do are clearly welcome as no one is above criticism. And as Tashi points out, only make themselves look like cunts (my choice of word there). Going online and attacking innocent strangers (magnified by anonymity) is just taking the school bully online, and we all know the sort of impotent insecure tossers are school bullies.
I am professionally next to being a psychologist, and have studied personal development for a few years at college. These guys demonstrate a total ignorance of humanity and human nature just as a dog or cat would. It's the standard bell shaped curve with a few extremes either end and most in the middle, and you only notice the extreme ones. We all know we're there, they're the ones who almost kill us by trying to save 10 seconds and overtake you on a corner or junction. Holding a mobile phone and if dark with their fog lights dazzling you to raise the chances of an accident to maximum. A few times I've been lucky enough to see these twats pulled by the police the second they've shot a red light or weaved across the road, and one real pro overtook me as I turned left and turned his car over just round the bend as I discovered when I caught him up. He'll never do it again (no, he's alive and wasn't hurt at all, but learnt his lesson the only way he could, by failing.
When the unfortunate individual who cussed me yesterday becomes ill as I hope to goodness he does (or she?) and can't work for months I will come and laugh from 9-5 5 days a week, not for a penny. If the only way people can learn is from their own failures then so be it, fail. Of course it is always best to learn from other's mistakes but for that you need an IQ in 3 digits (OK, mine's 169 as I mentioned it and someone's bound to ask), so the only way any of these poorly developed individuals must be forced by life to the very position they are unable to understand in any other way.
Same for smokers by the way, I can be judgemental as well as we are all shades of grey and not perfect. I've never smoked, never been addicted to anything besides sex (the way we are meant to be) so can't figure why people want to breathe in poison and filth. And then some moan about it and still do it. Pathetic. Just to show I don't understand everything but not an offer from Carol Vorderman would make me smoke even one to find out why. I have tried them and it was exactly what I'd expect, and that was it. So maybe I do understand, people try something totally unpleasant and instead of doing as I did and rejecting it saw every other twat doing it and decided it must be a good idea. And the bloody drunks who jam up the hospitals should be transported. Three strikes for all criminals and go to Ireland. They have the room and the climate. It would cost too much to melt and build inside Greenland but there are other places all round the world they could try, look how successful they became in Australia. And maybe all smokers and druggies could go as well, except half my friends chain smoke so I'd miss out as well. The few who wanted to stop were cured by me in an hour or two so it can be done.
By the way, I have views on other sensitive areas but I'm not that fucking stupid to mention them in public. It does get filtered before it's typed, believe me.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
My latest work record
Since it was requested a little about my working history. My last job was bloody ages ago, I was made redundant and after 18 months applying for jobs as required had a few interviews and no offers. The Job Centre then wanted me to take the cack they offer for people either with no qualifications (ie no graduate positions) or so obscure no one can qualify (fluent Japanese etc). This pushed me over the edge, I saw the doctor and they signed me off with anxiety. The new tablets calmed me down and sent me looking, another 100 or so applications and I got a job in a branch of a local optician's. Trainee manager. The shop was so far from the others no one came in the first week and the boss rented it out the week after and let me go.
I then returned to home study as my counselling qualifications were academic but not professional so no work available outside private. That mopped up a couple of years and passed them all in the end, and applied for new jobs which could now accept me. I got an interview in 2003! That was it. I decided to return to retail and worked the High Streets speaking to bosses and handing in CVs. Not a squeak. Then I became ill and that progressively got worse and it was clear going to the shops was my limit for some time, and that on good days. Luckily during that period I got my TV breaks, as they all filmed me at home so didn't have to do any more than perform without needing to travel which would probably have been impossible. I am gradually recovering now, I had problems with my immune system and infections that confounded the best of London's specialists. This in turn brought back the anxiety and although physical problems often improve the anxiety can last much longer, especially when the old tablets became able to imitate amoebic dysentery on one capsule.
So to my doubter/s, this is why I no longer work, when I tried I was shunned and spat out by the system, and then my physical health followed my mental health and finished off all possibilities of a job. Normally I'd say such details would bore people so I rarely mention it, but as things can only be fitted into the big picture this is it.
I then returned to home study as my counselling qualifications were academic but not professional so no work available outside private. That mopped up a couple of years and passed them all in the end, and applied for new jobs which could now accept me. I got an interview in 2003! That was it. I decided to return to retail and worked the High Streets speaking to bosses and handing in CVs. Not a squeak. Then I became ill and that progressively got worse and it was clear going to the shops was my limit for some time, and that on good days. Luckily during that period I got my TV breaks, as they all filmed me at home so didn't have to do any more than perform without needing to travel which would probably have been impossible. I am gradually recovering now, I had problems with my immune system and infections that confounded the best of London's specialists. This in turn brought back the anxiety and although physical problems often improve the anxiety can last much longer, especially when the old tablets became able to imitate amoebic dysentery on one capsule.
So to my doubter/s, this is why I no longer work, when I tried I was shunned and spat out by the system, and then my physical health followed my mental health and finished off all possibilities of a job. Normally I'd say such details would bore people so I rarely mention it, but as things can only be fitted into the big picture this is it.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
A week of cack
As per bloody usual, when little is happening something comes in to fuck it up, in this case (the government, the standard offender) has stepped in to do an investigation on my dole (yes guys, I'm on the dole, sorry), in the form of an interview next week. I've no idea why except apparently someone has pretended to be me in the past. Enough said. I won't let it ruin the week before it occurs though, it's not the investigation but the effort required to take the interview I dislike, but it's not as bad as many I've endured in the past.
So besides that little piece of mucus on the lens of life, nothing else has happened of note and is known ahead. I went all the way to Clapton today for photos, covered an area previously well known when I collected train tickets and lived nearer to it, and it's not really changed since then either.
I haven't got many plans outside the following day routine I've used for weeks, except none for tomorrow, although a tray of work accounts waits so I'll probably get that shot of before any leisure time. There's a friendly match on in the evening and I hope to go to that as well for the first time in ages. Things were actually going a lot better than they had for some time, so probably due for some balance. The teachers say if you live in a world of duality then the good is balanced by the bad, and here's some for me. The good admittedly has been a combination of lack of bad and my own efforts of travelling all over the place to keep busy, I've still barely seen anyone besides neighbours and visiting my grandma in hospital, and is due for a parole hearing on Thursday. I can only hope. I've also collected some fascinating old (and one newer) on stalls over the weekend which are some of the best I've found yet on local history and interiors plus one more on enlightenment. The theory is becoming more and more understood, except my real teacher says understanding it intellectually makes no difference although others disagree. I will see.
So a test ahead to dismiss fear from my mind while I carry on with business as usual, it seems I am being tested to overcome all the earlier problems I've suffered with, and this is another regular I've had to deal with all my life. It's really as if I keep being presented with situations until they stop distracting me from enjoying life and this is another. You can't have too much each time or you'll break and not bend. When I go out it's a little further each time and then I barely notice and that's how I work to recover.
There's little else I can think of and Big Brother is now on so I may as well stop before I bore everyone as usual.
So besides that little piece of mucus on the lens of life, nothing else has happened of note and is known ahead. I went all the way to Clapton today for photos, covered an area previously well known when I collected train tickets and lived nearer to it, and it's not really changed since then either.
I haven't got many plans outside the following day routine I've used for weeks, except none for tomorrow, although a tray of work accounts waits so I'll probably get that shot of before any leisure time. There's a friendly match on in the evening and I hope to go to that as well for the first time in ages. Things were actually going a lot better than they had for some time, so probably due for some balance. The teachers say if you live in a world of duality then the good is balanced by the bad, and here's some for me. The good admittedly has been a combination of lack of bad and my own efforts of travelling all over the place to keep busy, I've still barely seen anyone besides neighbours and visiting my grandma in hospital, and is due for a parole hearing on Thursday. I can only hope. I've also collected some fascinating old (and one newer) on stalls over the weekend which are some of the best I've found yet on local history and interiors plus one more on enlightenment. The theory is becoming more and more understood, except my real teacher says understanding it intellectually makes no difference although others disagree. I will see.
So a test ahead to dismiss fear from my mind while I carry on with business as usual, it seems I am being tested to overcome all the earlier problems I've suffered with, and this is another regular I've had to deal with all my life. It's really as if I keep being presented with situations until they stop distracting me from enjoying life and this is another. You can't have too much each time or you'll break and not bend. When I go out it's a little further each time and then I barely notice and that's how I work to recover.
There's little else I can think of and Big Brother is now on so I may as well stop before I bore everyone as usual.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
I have returned
I am keeping busy and the only thing missing are any people, especially now my grandma's been in hospital so I haven't got anywhere to go in the two evenings a week I went there. Of course I missed a number of Tuesday football matches in the past as a result but you can't do everything. I've been shopping like a lunatic mainly due to eating more at home for the same reason, and exploring new places for variety, in particular more Jewish food which my grandma sometimes has and I wouldn't have otherwise. All the normal household chores (besides the gardening) have been done due to opportunity, and I took the camera on the train yesterday for some inside pictures and a bit of fun. I discovered a bit of Stanmore common I don't remember outside the station which is the best part I've seen, even though I lived there for nearly 2 years and walked there regularly. Just shows.
One place I can live without going to is hospitals. Not that I haven't, I just hate it now having visited so many times already. Just a little thorn in my side. Besides that I have freedom and besides the people to share it with am using it as best I can. There are two very unliely chances for success on the system as well, a woman and a possible job (as in the sense of one off, I can't see myself working again somehow...) well maybe but only if I had to. But they are weeks off if at all and totally unreliable so can only work with what I have. Being the 8th top internet quizzer in the world (from over 1000 players) is nice but doesn't affect you're life a lot, except you don't have to spend 4 1/2 months playing quizzes 3 times a day again. Except I am, as out of habit I joined the hard quiz a couple of weeks after it started and am doing too well not to play till the end, although I pick and choose the games as they don't all count anyway.
Apart from that I am just continuing as normal and have not and will probably not get a bloody thing from outside to help. All I have were the TV programmes that made sod all difference to my life as were seen either by a handful of people here or abroad where I won't be recognised unless I go there. And no idea if many people saw them either. I doubt many people get nice things happening to them either, but most have nice lives with friends and marriages and the ups and downs within a family setting are far less effective than when taken on alone. You can't share any problems and if you reach the stage of relying on outside events you may as well be dead as they don't happen. Even when something apparently good happens, like when Ken Livingstone got kicked out after doing in 8 years to London what Hitler couldn't, the replacement is not that different. Even the achievements I make make no difference besides getting me a bit more work and money, basically life is stable for all of us and the highs are so rare they barely warrant including. The nearest to a high is the end of a low which is something quite different, like removing a splinter. The lack of a negative does not make a positive, just a neutral and that's the default at the moment, and the downs can easily take over when they arrive which is certainly not unreliable. I don't make the rules.
One place I can live without going to is hospitals. Not that I haven't, I just hate it now having visited so many times already. Just a little thorn in my side. Besides that I have freedom and besides the people to share it with am using it as best I can. There are two very unliely chances for success on the system as well, a woman and a possible job (as in the sense of one off, I can't see myself working again somehow...) well maybe but only if I had to. But they are weeks off if at all and totally unreliable so can only work with what I have. Being the 8th top internet quizzer in the world (from over 1000 players) is nice but doesn't affect you're life a lot, except you don't have to spend 4 1/2 months playing quizzes 3 times a day again. Except I am, as out of habit I joined the hard quiz a couple of weeks after it started and am doing too well not to play till the end, although I pick and choose the games as they don't all count anyway.
Apart from that I am just continuing as normal and have not and will probably not get a bloody thing from outside to help. All I have were the TV programmes that made sod all difference to my life as were seen either by a handful of people here or abroad where I won't be recognised unless I go there. And no idea if many people saw them either. I doubt many people get nice things happening to them either, but most have nice lives with friends and marriages and the ups and downs within a family setting are far less effective than when taken on alone. You can't share any problems and if you reach the stage of relying on outside events you may as well be dead as they don't happen. Even when something apparently good happens, like when Ken Livingstone got kicked out after doing in 8 years to London what Hitler couldn't, the replacement is not that different. Even the achievements I make make no difference besides getting me a bit more work and money, basically life is stable for all of us and the highs are so rare they barely warrant including. The nearest to a high is the end of a low which is something quite different, like removing a splinter. The lack of a negative does not make a positive, just a neutral and that's the default at the moment, and the downs can easily take over when they arrive which is certainly not unreliable. I don't make the rules.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Monday, July 07, 2008
Week's roundup
As my energy returns I'm gradually able to do more and more I could before, and have been the last week or so as well. That is a relief I can tell you. Nearly all business rather than pleasure but have been able to wander round shopping centres again which is not easy with little energy or balance. Youtake nothing for granted again in your life when you were barely able to do anything.
So, life is going on regardless. I've got a lot done and out of the way, small media possibilities later on, and the rest is down to fate and inspiration. More business chores to do but less urgent at least. Where it is heading, if anything ever does, is anyone's guess. Like if I settle for a retarded girlfriend as she is attractive and harmless, that is assuming she ever decides she wants me? Not technically retarded but functionally, meaning that is the actual impression her problems give. That won't change as far as I know, but fate again will step in and make the decision for me, well she will and the fact there isn't anyone else. But better than a kick in the teeth should it actually happen.
Inconclusive events continue as well, my hypnotic regression to see if I'd been abducted by aliens has been carried out and I was fluent and consistent. Rather than focus on the very basic and unconvincing event, not so much a memory as a vision of one, but whether it has connected me to a higher source of intelligence. I was answering questions of a pretty technical nature, often as if being told the answers and it all held together at the end. I'll see if it continues now and report back.
So, looking ahead, various things are possible and others the usual daily plans like a trip to Hanwell for photos of local features. I've run out of many places but Hanwell probably has its moments. I'm also simplifying my global warming message to a list of claims and truth which shouldn't take to long to create. They are the enemy as they are diverting resources from genuine causes and costing the ordinary people (you as well) a fucking fortune. What exactly are they spending the money on to stop global warming once they get it? Mainly to pay for Iraq. Problem-reaction-solution. Once you learn their methods they become totally transparent. I repeat them as until the majority believe it they'll win.
So, life is going on regardless. I've got a lot done and out of the way, small media possibilities later on, and the rest is down to fate and inspiration. More business chores to do but less urgent at least. Where it is heading, if anything ever does, is anyone's guess. Like if I settle for a retarded girlfriend as she is attractive and harmless, that is assuming she ever decides she wants me? Not technically retarded but functionally, meaning that is the actual impression her problems give. That won't change as far as I know, but fate again will step in and make the decision for me, well she will and the fact there isn't anyone else. But better than a kick in the teeth should it actually happen.
Inconclusive events continue as well, my hypnotic regression to see if I'd been abducted by aliens has been carried out and I was fluent and consistent. Rather than focus on the very basic and unconvincing event, not so much a memory as a vision of one, but whether it has connected me to a higher source of intelligence. I was answering questions of a pretty technical nature, often as if being told the answers and it all held together at the end. I'll see if it continues now and report back.
So, looking ahead, various things are possible and others the usual daily plans like a trip to Hanwell for photos of local features. I've run out of many places but Hanwell probably has its moments. I'm also simplifying my global warming message to a list of claims and truth which shouldn't take to long to create. They are the enemy as they are diverting resources from genuine causes and costing the ordinary people (you as well) a fucking fortune. What exactly are they spending the money on to stop global warming once they get it? Mainly to pay for Iraq. Problem-reaction-solution. Once you learn their methods they become totally transparent. I repeat them as until the majority believe it they'll win.
Friday, July 04, 2008
Use your commonsense
I'm going to check my hits after I've done this, but know some people are still around. But my controversial comments must be becoming normal to people now as they haven't attracted any comments despite going out of my way to call a spade a spade. Not that I disbelieve what I say, I'm honest, but don't try and sugar the pill.
Our intuition tells us what's right and wrong, and politicians try and override it. Many people are brainwashed into believing you can't call blind people blind or spastics spastics although most of them don't mind as it tells people what they are. Or protecting ethnic minorities from offence they don't even care about. Lies and bullshit and even I assumed global warming was true in 1998 until there was no evidence of it and then the taxes followed. If you're in a market and you catch the salesman telling lies you walk away, so why the hell have so few people seen the fabrication of the global warming monster? The EU (read Nazi party revisited) have added a 20% global warming tax on already record energy bills, and no one seems to notice or care. I have but who listens to me?
One day I'll hopefully be writing this in a proper publication, Peter Hitchens and Melanie Phillips do now (besides their religion which is clearly deeply engrained) and they seem to make fuck all difference although they speak the truth. The only difference is I wouldn't be able to say fuck, but that's only because I picked it up here and do find rude words quite amusing in the right place. Till then I write it here and if one person reads something I've said and thinks 'Yes, he's got a point there' I'll have won. Besides the entertaining side of this if we can share what we know and demonstrate it to other people then we're helping the world. For instance the money spent currently on global warming research has been taken from worthy causes, people who need help now and not in the generations ahead they claim to be saving. Can you see the flaw in that? The sea ice is very high at the moment, global temperatures are steady since 1998 and the peak years Al Gore picked out were all years of solar maximum activity. That's a scientific fact, Mars had them as well and no one drives cars there. You'd think if you pull one thread the whole thing would come apart, but the investment in the lies has glued the crap together as long as possible so when the gaff is blown the researchers will be running to the bank with our money.
You see the world's authorities can't hold a knife to our throats and mug us individually, although they are managing it very well in Zimbabwe. They won't be able to get us to donate our money as if they were a charity, so they have to invent better and better ways to make us offer it to them. All those poor fucking polar bears and Eskimos baling out their igloos with buckets, my arse. The poor South Sea islanders being inundated with the sea level rise (the one that's been a steady almost bugger all for centuries) and the islands that are being inundated are actually sinking, just like the East of England. If I can learn (and provide linked sources) this why doesn't everyone else? Because I'm a stranger and Al Gore is a rich celebrity. And politicians are honest. What?
I have no career or benefit from telling the truth (except cheaper energy as we all do), they all do. So who's more likely to lie?
Our intuition tells us what's right and wrong, and politicians try and override it. Many people are brainwashed into believing you can't call blind people blind or spastics spastics although most of them don't mind as it tells people what they are. Or protecting ethnic minorities from offence they don't even care about. Lies and bullshit and even I assumed global warming was true in 1998 until there was no evidence of it and then the taxes followed. If you're in a market and you catch the salesman telling lies you walk away, so why the hell have so few people seen the fabrication of the global warming monster? The EU (read Nazi party revisited) have added a 20% global warming tax on already record energy bills, and no one seems to notice or care. I have but who listens to me?
One day I'll hopefully be writing this in a proper publication, Peter Hitchens and Melanie Phillips do now (besides their religion which is clearly deeply engrained) and they seem to make fuck all difference although they speak the truth. The only difference is I wouldn't be able to say fuck, but that's only because I picked it up here and do find rude words quite amusing in the right place. Till then I write it here and if one person reads something I've said and thinks 'Yes, he's got a point there' I'll have won. Besides the entertaining side of this if we can share what we know and demonstrate it to other people then we're helping the world. For instance the money spent currently on global warming research has been taken from worthy causes, people who need help now and not in the generations ahead they claim to be saving. Can you see the flaw in that? The sea ice is very high at the moment, global temperatures are steady since 1998 and the peak years Al Gore picked out were all years of solar maximum activity. That's a scientific fact, Mars had them as well and no one drives cars there. You'd think if you pull one thread the whole thing would come apart, but the investment in the lies has glued the crap together as long as possible so when the gaff is blown the researchers will be running to the bank with our money.
You see the world's authorities can't hold a knife to our throats and mug us individually, although they are managing it very well in Zimbabwe. They won't be able to get us to donate our money as if they were a charity, so they have to invent better and better ways to make us offer it to them. All those poor fucking polar bears and Eskimos baling out their igloos with buckets, my arse. The poor South Sea islanders being inundated with the sea level rise (the one that's been a steady almost bugger all for centuries) and the islands that are being inundated are actually sinking, just like the East of England. If I can learn (and provide linked sources) this why doesn't everyone else? Because I'm a stranger and Al Gore is a rich celebrity. And politicians are honest. What?
I have no career or benefit from telling the truth (except cheaper energy as we all do), they all do. So who's more likely to lie?
Monday, June 30, 2008
Why aliens have not visited Earth
There are three types of blog, personal, news/information and fiction. I don't do fiction, provide new information when I have it, and otherwise can only report personal events. Being the same life as last time it's difficult to be very different from before, but then again when watching TV do you want total discontinuity in the dramas you watch every day, like Toady and Harold leaving Neighbours on the same day? So if you are interested in a person you have to put up with them following a path as they are as if it's boring for you imagine what it's like living through it.
So, the current daily policy of planning a day ahead when possible or like tomorrow not at all has worked so far. The media work is moving slowly and not surely, but another finish will be very welcome. The one little opening in my life was catching another naughty number plate I'd seen twice before but with no camera or chance to see it parked. My original theory it was a remade BC plate from Canada seems spot on, and very bad as used as a hire vehicle so each user is committing an offence (not enforced mind you). Typically the company who own it who have been there for years have just closed public operation despite still being there, so I will have to barge in the office and see if I can get any sense out of them. Not my preference but left with no other choice.
I am a bit in the eye of the storm at the moment, there is more than the usual chaos around me, but as I am not being directly affected by it am carrying on in a straight line and although constantly reminded of the situations as there's nothing more I can do about them just try and get busy doing other things. The fact those other things are totally unknown now doesn't help but are pretty obvious. More photos (Eastcote?), another video (with or without me in it) and ordering prints now all the shots are on my memory stick. The number plate told me one thing I needed to know, when there's absolutely nothing something can still turn up. Hardly ever admittedly, but this was totally out of my hands as all news is.
So, there are no more plans or ideas. I've done two pages of photo trips already and there aren't any new ideas at all. At least having learnt meditation when there was nothing on TV I did it, until the internet arrived. If there's nothing on life I could do that more. It's true although unertain if possible if you're good inside what goes on outside has little effect. If you can cultivate that meditation is the only way although incredibly slow. And I started 11 years ago.
I reckon this was a major reason for religion as when life outside stops the door to let in God opens. People become so desperate their imaginary wish for salvation becomes so real to them they name it God and build a whole false philosophy on it. Not me thanks. I can see the signs and get well away from what is only a childlike wish for something better, and as the natural can't always provide it it only leaves the supernatural. Jesus, Allah, God, what difference does it make when all seeded by the same lack of success in life. One sad fact to add is not one believer can show me I'm wrong. Of course if they could there'd no longer be any doubt over religion, and by its nature religion can only exist as uncertainty, if certain it would become known science and no longer supernatural, and people would naturally look for something else as they'd find holes in whatever became real.
Maybe the reason aliens don't come and show themselves is not because of nuclear weapons but religion. They decide as long as a planet is still religious it's not ready for them. Makes as much sense to me, they think we're all a bunch of fucking idiots!
So, the current daily policy of planning a day ahead when possible or like tomorrow not at all has worked so far. The media work is moving slowly and not surely, but another finish will be very welcome. The one little opening in my life was catching another naughty number plate I'd seen twice before but with no camera or chance to see it parked. My original theory it was a remade BC plate from Canada seems spot on, and very bad as used as a hire vehicle so each user is committing an offence (not enforced mind you). Typically the company who own it who have been there for years have just closed public operation despite still being there, so I will have to barge in the office and see if I can get any sense out of them. Not my preference but left with no other choice.
I am a bit in the eye of the storm at the moment, there is more than the usual chaos around me, but as I am not being directly affected by it am carrying on in a straight line and although constantly reminded of the situations as there's nothing more I can do about them just try and get busy doing other things. The fact those other things are totally unknown now doesn't help but are pretty obvious. More photos (Eastcote?), another video (with or without me in it) and ordering prints now all the shots are on my memory stick. The number plate told me one thing I needed to know, when there's absolutely nothing something can still turn up. Hardly ever admittedly, but this was totally out of my hands as all news is.
So, there are no more plans or ideas. I've done two pages of photo trips already and there aren't any new ideas at all. At least having learnt meditation when there was nothing on TV I did it, until the internet arrived. If there's nothing on life I could do that more. It's true although unertain if possible if you're good inside what goes on outside has little effect. If you can cultivate that meditation is the only way although incredibly slow. And I started 11 years ago.
I reckon this was a major reason for religion as when life outside stops the door to let in God opens. People become so desperate their imaginary wish for salvation becomes so real to them they name it God and build a whole false philosophy on it. Not me thanks. I can see the signs and get well away from what is only a childlike wish for something better, and as the natural can't always provide it it only leaves the supernatural. Jesus, Allah, God, what difference does it make when all seeded by the same lack of success in life. One sad fact to add is not one believer can show me I'm wrong. Of course if they could there'd no longer be any doubt over religion, and by its nature religion can only exist as uncertainty, if certain it would become known science and no longer supernatural, and people would naturally look for something else as they'd find holes in whatever became real.
Maybe the reason aliens don't come and show themselves is not because of nuclear weapons but religion. They decide as long as a planet is still religious it's not ready for them. Makes as much sense to me, they think we're all a bunch of fucking idiots!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Pretty well buggered at the moment
Christ it's become boring recently. There's only so much I can do while nothing happens around me. How long this will last is anyone's guess, but besides having no actual known problems there's sod all else on top of that, which is not enough for anyone.
I keep as busy as anyone can, and had a couple of jobs to do for family today that diverted me and the camera to Hendon and Temple Fortune, plus the kosher shop which was useful. One friend says he can't be bothered to go out and about on his own so stays in (with his parents) whereas I am better off going out as there are no parents or anyone else in or out.
The list of people not replying reflects one a few years ago, about 7 in a row, none with any more reason not to than any other. I can just as easily get the same all reply in a row, but that's how so much in my life happens. The eastern view this is all a dream makes far more sense than the western evil god, as if I was creating all this the consistencies would be as it was all from one source. Not god, no way. As we have no control where we find ourselves in a dream we have none in waking life either, but both are possibly products of the same consciousness. They say once you start seeing it for what it really is you become enlightened, and I am barely in any doubt at all now that's possible as it can be done with drugs as well as naturally. For some a constant interest will allow it to happen while others work at it with a teacher full time for years and get nothing. Meanwhile two women are gossiping on the radio about leg injuries, which is probably the best of a bad lot at this time of night. If they switched to masturbation the station would suddenly start attracting most listeners from the other channels, but would they risk it?
I expect anyone in a situation with no clear means of escape will become overwhelmed with frustration eventually, what the hell can you do? Life carries on elsewhere normally while I am like Rome burning while everyone else fiddles. None of the TV and media work is going smoothly either, people are rebelling over the latest TV contract which will kill it altogether after 2 year's work if an agreement isn't reached. The biggest problem with the internet is although we have the freedom to interact in virtually every way you can, you can't actually meet all but the smallest minority of people there as they are spread evenly across the world. Considering I rarely if ever would travel more than 10 miles to meet anyone due to health problems, socially the internet does not make very much difference, rather a parallel world than an extended one.
So meanwhile I'm almost running out of housework to do, which is saying something. This week I've done shopping in Golders Green and Hendon and ordered parts for the car, as well as photos in all those places plus Finchley and Queens Park. But after the trips out alone (the one-date sort of girlfriend did come with me a few times earlier in the year but is away now as well) I return to the same place and situation. Besides tenants for a few years, this is now 16 years I've lived on my own, so every reason to complain as besides one offer from hell not a single person wanted to live with me. So many problems have answers and I specialise in offering them, so am very well qualified to see where they simply don't exist. Just like doctors who can't offer any treatment. Buggered.
I keep as busy as anyone can, and had a couple of jobs to do for family today that diverted me and the camera to Hendon and Temple Fortune, plus the kosher shop which was useful. One friend says he can't be bothered to go out and about on his own so stays in (with his parents) whereas I am better off going out as there are no parents or anyone else in or out.
The list of people not replying reflects one a few years ago, about 7 in a row, none with any more reason not to than any other. I can just as easily get the same all reply in a row, but that's how so much in my life happens. The eastern view this is all a dream makes far more sense than the western evil god, as if I was creating all this the consistencies would be as it was all from one source. Not god, no way. As we have no control where we find ourselves in a dream we have none in waking life either, but both are possibly products of the same consciousness. They say once you start seeing it for what it really is you become enlightened, and I am barely in any doubt at all now that's possible as it can be done with drugs as well as naturally. For some a constant interest will allow it to happen while others work at it with a teacher full time for years and get nothing. Meanwhile two women are gossiping on the radio about leg injuries, which is probably the best of a bad lot at this time of night. If they switched to masturbation the station would suddenly start attracting most listeners from the other channels, but would they risk it?
I expect anyone in a situation with no clear means of escape will become overwhelmed with frustration eventually, what the hell can you do? Life carries on elsewhere normally while I am like Rome burning while everyone else fiddles. None of the TV and media work is going smoothly either, people are rebelling over the latest TV contract which will kill it altogether after 2 year's work if an agreement isn't reached. The biggest problem with the internet is although we have the freedom to interact in virtually every way you can, you can't actually meet all but the smallest minority of people there as they are spread evenly across the world. Considering I rarely if ever would travel more than 10 miles to meet anyone due to health problems, socially the internet does not make very much difference, rather a parallel world than an extended one.
So meanwhile I'm almost running out of housework to do, which is saying something. This week I've done shopping in Golders Green and Hendon and ordered parts for the car, as well as photos in all those places plus Finchley and Queens Park. But after the trips out alone (the one-date sort of girlfriend did come with me a few times earlier in the year but is away now as well) I return to the same place and situation. Besides tenants for a few years, this is now 16 years I've lived on my own, so every reason to complain as besides one offer from hell not a single person wanted to live with me. So many problems have answers and I specialise in offering them, so am very well qualified to see where they simply don't exist. Just like doctors who can't offer any treatment. Buggered.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
The purpose of dreams
There are a few times when things stop altogether my life can be pointed back on track by dreams. These overlap the ordinary type but contain what's more like a real person or experience designed to show me what's possible in reality. Where they come from is another story but I know now all supernatural events should be taken advantage in with no need to understand how. People used to have no choice but to live this way but now people think if they don't know it's scientific it can't exist. Well I can say different.
My own intuition is the same as everyone's except I realised fairly quickly there were things I knew I'd always known despite not having an experience of said issues yet. Like food. I can look at anything and know if I won't like it, and if some gets in by accident I'll say there's whatever it is there and it's revolting. Never tried it but always knew. Same with most women I meet. So I am now working on using this more, I've long finished studies where I needed to give references, now I can let go of all that and just go on to higher knowledge, the sort we know without learning it.
I really need inspiration as there's fuck all happening at the moment. When the peak of your life is a backward but attractive woman telling you she's got a boyfriend (after seeing you first) but is fed up with him and may keep you in reserve when she gets back from holiday in 2 months you know there is something very big missing. I'm at a stage in life where I should be using the freedom, but as it was in 1976 when I'd finished my exams early and had to wait for the next school year for A levels I had all the time, transport and no one around to share it with. I'm back there now except I'm now living alone, back then my parents were at work all day but at least came home later on, and I knew I'd be back at college in September. For the first time in ages I plan to meditate more than just weekends, and having lost my regular sex partner of about 20 years to an older man that yawning gap needs dealing with as a priority. She wasn't my type or even free, but insisted on seeing as many men as possible all her adult life whatever her status so I wasn't interfering with anything. It was my safety net which even now is the last thing to go.
Without the dreams I'd forget what I was missing and it was worth having, until it happened by chance. I'm old and wise enough to know I can't just go and get it without paying (which I don't do) but at least am in a positive frame of mind if it does find me. The week ahead is unknown, one job tomorrow and that's it. I'll be hanging round busy roads taking people next, a sure way of becoming unpopular but as total strangers who cares. Random people in the street are some of my best photos and most popular. In my daydreams a woman from the past or present will come and sort me out, just as in my other dreams, and at least of all the rest this is the only one which can happen in reality, although with a lot of work by me first. They come to me about once a decade and even then most are only accepted as they are available, I'd never have gone near them otherwise. Women rarely realise most men will accept them if they throw themselves at them as it happens so rarely they are very grateful. I've turned down a few but they were the real frights and didn't want to be put off it entirely. One I did accept put me off till I saw my girlfriend again when I got back from holiday to see they weren't all that bad. Now I know I won't be put off again by anyone but that was when I was 15.
There are some women who are clearly interested, but being American their culture allows them to show it, and location stops them from doing anything about it. All I can say is if any woman reading this who wants to come to London and offer to shag me is almost definitely going to be accepted. If I had been a woman I'd be calling my ISP tomorrow to have the cable rebooted as it had overloaded overnight. Being a man it's the old way as usual instead. And people believe in God?
My own intuition is the same as everyone's except I realised fairly quickly there were things I knew I'd always known despite not having an experience of said issues yet. Like food. I can look at anything and know if I won't like it, and if some gets in by accident I'll say there's whatever it is there and it's revolting. Never tried it but always knew. Same with most women I meet. So I am now working on using this more, I've long finished studies where I needed to give references, now I can let go of all that and just go on to higher knowledge, the sort we know without learning it.
I really need inspiration as there's fuck all happening at the moment. When the peak of your life is a backward but attractive woman telling you she's got a boyfriend (after seeing you first) but is fed up with him and may keep you in reserve when she gets back from holiday in 2 months you know there is something very big missing. I'm at a stage in life where I should be using the freedom, but as it was in 1976 when I'd finished my exams early and had to wait for the next school year for A levels I had all the time, transport and no one around to share it with. I'm back there now except I'm now living alone, back then my parents were at work all day but at least came home later on, and I knew I'd be back at college in September. For the first time in ages I plan to meditate more than just weekends, and having lost my regular sex partner of about 20 years to an older man that yawning gap needs dealing with as a priority. She wasn't my type or even free, but insisted on seeing as many men as possible all her adult life whatever her status so I wasn't interfering with anything. It was my safety net which even now is the last thing to go.
Without the dreams I'd forget what I was missing and it was worth having, until it happened by chance. I'm old and wise enough to know I can't just go and get it without paying (which I don't do) but at least am in a positive frame of mind if it does find me. The week ahead is unknown, one job tomorrow and that's it. I'll be hanging round busy roads taking people next, a sure way of becoming unpopular but as total strangers who cares. Random people in the street are some of my best photos and most popular. In my daydreams a woman from the past or present will come and sort me out, just as in my other dreams, and at least of all the rest this is the only one which can happen in reality, although with a lot of work by me first. They come to me about once a decade and even then most are only accepted as they are available, I'd never have gone near them otherwise. Women rarely realise most men will accept them if they throw themselves at them as it happens so rarely they are very grateful. I've turned down a few but they were the real frights and didn't want to be put off it entirely. One I did accept put me off till I saw my girlfriend again when I got back from holiday to see they weren't all that bad. Now I know I won't be put off again by anyone but that was when I was 15.
There are some women who are clearly interested, but being American their culture allows them to show it, and location stops them from doing anything about it. All I can say is if any woman reading this who wants to come to London and offer to shag me is almost definitely going to be accepted. If I had been a woman I'd be calling my ISP tomorrow to have the cable rebooted as it had overloaded overnight. Being a man it's the old way as usual instead. And people believe in God?
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Bollocks on Friday
Another week of freedom, which is good. My post reflected this exactly as for the first time since having my own place I didn't have any for 3 days. This was the same as life in general as most post is bad, but a little is good, and if you get none you have nothing.
So the nothing continues, I've emailed Christine, the ex from long ago, another ex who replied after years, another hasn't called back after giving me her number and only having a few minutes to talk. I added to the list by emailing Will Self at last after finding a contact, someone from Big Brother and someone's sister from school. That's a perfect 6/6, and it's not that always happens, but instead either most reply or don't. Always in bunches. Search me how.
So what have I done with the freedom? Two days taking more or less every nice road in NW11, followed by Pinner and Kentish Town. One almost girlfriend visited telling me should she actually dump her boyfriend she wants to dump I'll be next. After a 7 week holiday. Could be worse. The thing about my 'after 40' rule is that if someone has a couple of really good qualities I overlook the others, so rather than an ordinary and uninteresting type I get those with all sorts of major problems and enough good qualities to live with them. Like me I suppose except many women say I haven't got the good ones.
I've had more accounts to do, no other work and that was more or less it.
So with a clear day ahead I just manage to think of enough to do with each one, and had a couple of people who wanted/needed to see me as well which made a lot of difference. There are always elements we don't mention on the blog, in my case I don't want to put people off reading, but when I get rude comments I reckon if they knew why things were a certain way they'd leave off. I've had a selection of health problems that slowed me down for years, and although they are lifting you take some time to get over them, if you ever do. Without the camera I'd have had no reason to go out besides the park when it's sunny, as why the hell go to Kentish Town on your own after Pinner just for the hell of it? I don't go to the shops or anything, I don't need anything there and they don't have anything I can't get round here.
So more empty days lie ahead, indefinitely, like shadows defined not by the presence of good but the relative absence of bad. Like everything in my life this should be a phase but what the next one is could be up or down. Don't wish for change when nothing's wrong as destruction is always easier than creation. I can understand why I used to watch the news in case any predicted or unpredicted crisis ever happened, and basically they haven't and even when they do they only affect the people in the immediate vicinity (eg Iraq) and not us in London. Except being bombed which wasn't on my list of possible excitement. Life is bog standard and normal most if not all the time, I do have some evidence of psychic power, albeit of little practical use, and the only other action has been in the form of females and meeting the odd celebrity. Now I want to be the celebrity the next step in my career needs to happen to allow that, which is basically on the edge.
The lower part of my mind still pops up sometimes imagining something will suddenly happen to improve everything, but we are given such mental weaknesses only to overcome rather than use, which is why I'm not religious, which is just a larger version of the same thing.
There are definite patterns in life, but no happy endings.
So the nothing continues, I've emailed Christine, the ex from long ago, another ex who replied after years, another hasn't called back after giving me her number and only having a few minutes to talk. I added to the list by emailing Will Self at last after finding a contact, someone from Big Brother and someone's sister from school. That's a perfect 6/6, and it's not that always happens, but instead either most reply or don't. Always in bunches. Search me how.
So what have I done with the freedom? Two days taking more or less every nice road in NW11, followed by Pinner and Kentish Town. One almost girlfriend visited telling me should she actually dump her boyfriend she wants to dump I'll be next. After a 7 week holiday. Could be worse. The thing about my 'after 40' rule is that if someone has a couple of really good qualities I overlook the others, so rather than an ordinary and uninteresting type I get those with all sorts of major problems and enough good qualities to live with them. Like me I suppose except many women say I haven't got the good ones.
I've had more accounts to do, no other work and that was more or less it.
So with a clear day ahead I just manage to think of enough to do with each one, and had a couple of people who wanted/needed to see me as well which made a lot of difference. There are always elements we don't mention on the blog, in my case I don't want to put people off reading, but when I get rude comments I reckon if they knew why things were a certain way they'd leave off. I've had a selection of health problems that slowed me down for years, and although they are lifting you take some time to get over them, if you ever do. Without the camera I'd have had no reason to go out besides the park when it's sunny, as why the hell go to Kentish Town on your own after Pinner just for the hell of it? I don't go to the shops or anything, I don't need anything there and they don't have anything I can't get round here.
So more empty days lie ahead, indefinitely, like shadows defined not by the presence of good but the relative absence of bad. Like everything in my life this should be a phase but what the next one is could be up or down. Don't wish for change when nothing's wrong as destruction is always easier than creation. I can understand why I used to watch the news in case any predicted or unpredicted crisis ever happened, and basically they haven't and even when they do they only affect the people in the immediate vicinity (eg Iraq) and not us in London. Except being bombed which wasn't on my list of possible excitement. Life is bog standard and normal most if not all the time, I do have some evidence of psychic power, albeit of little practical use, and the only other action has been in the form of females and meeting the odd celebrity. Now I want to be the celebrity the next step in my career needs to happen to allow that, which is basically on the edge.
The lower part of my mind still pops up sometimes imagining something will suddenly happen to improve everything, but we are given such mental weaknesses only to overcome rather than use, which is why I'm not religious, which is just a larger version of the same thing.
There are definite patterns in life, but no happy endings.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Will it ever happen?
So many of my posts are about what I'd like to happen I expect some people are wondering if any ever will. Especially me. So here's a list of some and then some which have come to pass.
Firstly ever since attending a lecture in 1996 I've been told there's a thing called enlightenment. I can now just about accept this having read accounts of people on LSD who seem to be able to create it artificially. Of course if you do it naturally and it's possible then I can, especially as I've worked my way through a number of teachers to show me how.
Marriage. This is out of my hands and is far less important than simply finding a compatible sexual partner, ie one I actually want.
Fame. That is the best of my bunch, something I was determined to have all my life and on the verge now, having missed like Lee Westwood in the US Open golf last night by a hair's breadth when the article I did via interview for The Sun wasn't used. I know the rules to become famous, use them religiously, and this would have done it. Not on its own but would inevitably had started the ball rolling. I'm currently in the penumbra, or whatever the astronomers call it, just on the edge. It can't be long before someone lets me finish the job.
Finally I want to return to where I lived for 28 years, Hampstead Garden Suburb or Temple Fortune if not, just across the Finchley Road.
----------------------------------------------
I have of course in 48 years covered many ambitions already, although the time taken was at times way beyond what was planned. My degree took me till I was 24, and my final professional qualification was at 41. But I got them.
I bought my first flat at 28 and house at 32. They taught me business is the easiest, any spiritual development in between, and people the hardest. You can't herd people like you can sheep, or rely on them like you can with money. Not even your own family can be relied on at all times so basically you can't arrange a fucking thing when it comes to living with someone, who your friends are, or marriage. People who never had to try think it's mechanical. If you join a group all your problems will be solved. Bollocks. Since I left college full time in 1984 I've joined:
Psychic development groups
Meditation group
3 1/2 years of part time courses
Voluntary work in a community theatre
6 years as a volunteer counsellor, split between a youth club and community centre
5 years at a gym (ongoing)
and any more I may have forgotten.
In that time I met at all these:
One woman I saw once on a date, one more as a friend.
One woman I shared healings with.
One woman I could have met had I not met someone just after I called her.
One visit to see a fellow youth worker who may have fancied me (not mutual).
One good friend I wanted more from for many years.
Been to a couple of parties (no success).
So in all those activities which covered almost 20 years, I only gained one new friend who I wasn't even successful with the way I wanted to, and basically joined those places to do the activities, anything else was a bonus.
Prior to that before my degree I'd been to a few years evening classes in drama, 7 years art, including pottery and sculpture, 5 years horse riding, and any others I may have missed.
Not to mention all my jobs.
There I met:
Two people I was invited to about twice
One au pair who turned me down
and that I think was it. I think it was mainly the type of people, as wherever I was with people like me I met lots of people who remained friends for decades. But school and the music holiday I went to for 22 summers are over, and there's nothing to replace it. So I try and pull at funerals, cafes, people I see on TV, the internet, women in shops, and domestics who work for my family. Nothing.
My last women have actually come from the internet, a party, a blind date from Yorkshire, a blind date from Hendon and a friend's friend. Totally random. But never from groups. Not in my whole life. Forget it.
----------------------------------------------------------------
So my business plans remain on target albeit late, totally due to lack of getting an Equity card which is a passport to success for those who can show any talent or effort. My career was also stopped by no O level maths, so no teachers training and many other professions.
The supernatural is based between experimenting and meditation and both continue but results are never predictable.
The rest is out of my hands as it always was. It's happened before but does that mean it can happen again?
Firstly ever since attending a lecture in 1996 I've been told there's a thing called enlightenment. I can now just about accept this having read accounts of people on LSD who seem to be able to create it artificially. Of course if you do it naturally and it's possible then I can, especially as I've worked my way through a number of teachers to show me how.
Marriage. This is out of my hands and is far less important than simply finding a compatible sexual partner, ie one I actually want.
Fame. That is the best of my bunch, something I was determined to have all my life and on the verge now, having missed like Lee Westwood in the US Open golf last night by a hair's breadth when the article I did via interview for The Sun wasn't used. I know the rules to become famous, use them religiously, and this would have done it. Not on its own but would inevitably had started the ball rolling. I'm currently in the penumbra, or whatever the astronomers call it, just on the edge. It can't be long before someone lets me finish the job.
Finally I want to return to where I lived for 28 years, Hampstead Garden Suburb or Temple Fortune if not, just across the Finchley Road.
----------------------------------------------
I have of course in 48 years covered many ambitions already, although the time taken was at times way beyond what was planned. My degree took me till I was 24, and my final professional qualification was at 41. But I got them.
I bought my first flat at 28 and house at 32. They taught me business is the easiest, any spiritual development in between, and people the hardest. You can't herd people like you can sheep, or rely on them like you can with money. Not even your own family can be relied on at all times so basically you can't arrange a fucking thing when it comes to living with someone, who your friends are, or marriage. People who never had to try think it's mechanical. If you join a group all your problems will be solved. Bollocks. Since I left college full time in 1984 I've joined:
Psychic development groups
Meditation group
3 1/2 years of part time courses
Voluntary work in a community theatre
6 years as a volunteer counsellor, split between a youth club and community centre
5 years at a gym (ongoing)
and any more I may have forgotten.
In that time I met at all these:
One woman I saw once on a date, one more as a friend.
One woman I shared healings with.
One woman I could have met had I not met someone just after I called her.
One visit to see a fellow youth worker who may have fancied me (not mutual).
One good friend I wanted more from for many years.
Been to a couple of parties (no success).
So in all those activities which covered almost 20 years, I only gained one new friend who I wasn't even successful with the way I wanted to, and basically joined those places to do the activities, anything else was a bonus.
Prior to that before my degree I'd been to a few years evening classes in drama, 7 years art, including pottery and sculpture, 5 years horse riding, and any others I may have missed.
Not to mention all my jobs.
There I met:
Two people I was invited to about twice
One au pair who turned me down
and that I think was it. I think it was mainly the type of people, as wherever I was with people like me I met lots of people who remained friends for decades. But school and the music holiday I went to for 22 summers are over, and there's nothing to replace it. So I try and pull at funerals, cafes, people I see on TV, the internet, women in shops, and domestics who work for my family. Nothing.
My last women have actually come from the internet, a party, a blind date from Yorkshire, a blind date from Hendon and a friend's friend. Totally random. But never from groups. Not in my whole life. Forget it.
----------------------------------------------------------------
So my business plans remain on target albeit late, totally due to lack of getting an Equity card which is a passport to success for those who can show any talent or effort. My career was also stopped by no O level maths, so no teachers training and many other professions.
The supernatural is based between experimenting and meditation and both continue but results are never predictable.
The rest is out of my hands as it always was. It's happened before but does that mean it can happen again?
Friday, June 13, 2008
Time and shit on my hands
Someone who may eventually read this just said blogging is a waste of time (I disagree), was giving up, and simply carried on at another address. Go figure. Maybe it was a denial of an addiction, but this is therapy and can't be overdone as long as the buggers keep it free.
My freedom continues, and it's a real test after 3 days with no one at all around. That's what not living in a family does to people, and if you're borderline weird beforehand then the isolation can make any tendencies into full blown complexes, which I'd be unaware of as it seems normal from here. If I didn't have this to fill the gaps I guarantee it would be even worse, even though I haven't had a comment added for months. I have hardly read any blogs since then either but when the people you used to read stop writing or change topics to focus on one area then it's hard to find new ones. I'm going out soon and have been pretty busy this week but it was bound to run out of steam eventually. Either jobs I needed to do have been done, put off or forgotten altogether. The people I'm emailing drop off day by day as it becomes less likely one will reply, and I've virtually run out of people to try in all the years I have been trying.
The results haven't actually been so bad overall. One girlfriend from a dating site, two old friends and various new people I'd met on the internet including my new friend from Big Brother. So basically the only gap was the old girlfriends, which although many have succeeded in reviving all but one of mine that was single again (only a few) had got rid of me and clearly didn't want any more coming back to haunt them. The other was divided by distance, and has more than got her own back since I decided it was too far for me to travel all those years ago. Most people move on and if not gain, at least don't lose too much. My friends all but vanished since 2002 and besides the girlfriend who spent most of two years in mental hospital before it all went rotten that has been it more or less, plus the TV work.
I expect the letter I wrote about the Tesla tower will be published and get the cause nowhere (they always do when money is required, even when it's for someone else) and the others will just be eliminated from my list as always.
I'm off to take some photos now, still keeping occupied.
My freedom continues, and it's a real test after 3 days with no one at all around. That's what not living in a family does to people, and if you're borderline weird beforehand then the isolation can make any tendencies into full blown complexes, which I'd be unaware of as it seems normal from here. If I didn't have this to fill the gaps I guarantee it would be even worse, even though I haven't had a comment added for months. I have hardly read any blogs since then either but when the people you used to read stop writing or change topics to focus on one area then it's hard to find new ones. I'm going out soon and have been pretty busy this week but it was bound to run out of steam eventually. Either jobs I needed to do have been done, put off or forgotten altogether. The people I'm emailing drop off day by day as it becomes less likely one will reply, and I've virtually run out of people to try in all the years I have been trying.
The results haven't actually been so bad overall. One girlfriend from a dating site, two old friends and various new people I'd met on the internet including my new friend from Big Brother. So basically the only gap was the old girlfriends, which although many have succeeded in reviving all but one of mine that was single again (only a few) had got rid of me and clearly didn't want any more coming back to haunt them. The other was divided by distance, and has more than got her own back since I decided it was too far for me to travel all those years ago. Most people move on and if not gain, at least don't lose too much. My friends all but vanished since 2002 and besides the girlfriend who spent most of two years in mental hospital before it all went rotten that has been it more or less, plus the TV work.
I expect the letter I wrote about the Tesla tower will be published and get the cause nowhere (they always do when money is required, even when it's for someone else) and the others will just be eliminated from my list as always.
I'm off to take some photos now, still keeping occupied.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Filling the vacuum
The hoovering can wait, this is the vacuum of freedom but nothing actually happening besides my own resources. No other people involved from one day to the next.
I know freedom is a blessing, you never forget that when you haven't got it, but is it enough? The camera means I visit places I've known most of my life just to get photos of them, and if I'm lucky I find something else to do while I'm there. I finally made it to the cafe in the park in Hendon on the way back today and had a nice walk around it after.
Many things have been eliminated from my list as usual, the newspaper article being the biggest, the women having failed already haven't been lost as they were already, but I keep trying new things, often through sudden inspiration. Of these few ever make it, but gives me a chance. I've written to a couple more celebrities, one who I actually knew at primary school, and am still promoting the Tesla Tower, my positive contribution in exchange for doing all I can to destroy the myth of global warming. Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth, who I sent this to first, clearly proved they are interested not in the environment but in destroying capitalism by showing no interest in genuine alternative energy at all. At least they had the chance and blew it. I'm now looking for backers to build a small working version and see finally if it works or not. If it does and anyone who knows can see it doing so then all the oil barons will lose their power overnight. Having come across someone who can run an engine on water I have little doubt all these energy sources are genuine.
I also visited the perimeter fence of the Big Brother house on my travels today, and looked around to see a few people who'd got in as media hacks and had proper photos inside. I'll do that next I'm sure. It's quite different inside now but still the same place.
So, I keep getting inspiration to get me to the next day and no further, which is good enough, like a penny in the black. You could have a lot more but you're still just in profit.
If anything is ever developing behind the scenes we never know until it's revealed, but on global warming the news against is now outnumbering the news for, simply as there's nothing to actually report in it's credit. A tree cannot offer fruit any different from what it has, as the bible says, and this is a nothing tree. One that needed the rebels to prove the fact as the illusion was a very good one (for the sheep, you know who you are) but no different from the Wizard of Oz or The Matrix. Once you're unhooked you wonder how you could ever have believed it.
I may not be enlightened in that I see no more illusion in suffering than many people do in global warming, but it's only the esoteric final step that currently eludes me. Within the illusion of time and space the gurus claim is false I do see the illusions for what they are, and when you've caught one out the rest become a lot easier as they all have the mark of the devil. In biblical terms that means a lie can only bear a lie, and the signs are all the same. Facts don't need to be shouted or exagerrated, they speak for themselves. Liars shout or overelaborate. Just study police techniques and you'll see the same signs in everything. Al Gore probably needs to take a shot of Botox before he gives a speech to stop his body twitching like a spastic as he's telling so many whoppers.
If I ever get any personal credit for sharing the truth it'll be a bonus. What I really want is people to see through the illusion before we all return to poverty not seen for centuries in the west. This is armageddon, the final showdown. If they can catch us on global warming (and terrorism) they'll finish us off. No cars, no electricity (except nuclear) and travel permits. That is where it's heading. I said in 1975 vote no to the EU as they'd take over and no one listened. Now they make 80% of our laws. I have a track record in this area. Use your own senses. Is the climate really any different? Can you tell?
I know freedom is a blessing, you never forget that when you haven't got it, but is it enough? The camera means I visit places I've known most of my life just to get photos of them, and if I'm lucky I find something else to do while I'm there. I finally made it to the cafe in the park in Hendon on the way back today and had a nice walk around it after.
Many things have been eliminated from my list as usual, the newspaper article being the biggest, the women having failed already haven't been lost as they were already, but I keep trying new things, often through sudden inspiration. Of these few ever make it, but gives me a chance. I've written to a couple more celebrities, one who I actually knew at primary school, and am still promoting the Tesla Tower, my positive contribution in exchange for doing all I can to destroy the myth of global warming. Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth, who I sent this to first, clearly proved they are interested not in the environment but in destroying capitalism by showing no interest in genuine alternative energy at all. At least they had the chance and blew it. I'm now looking for backers to build a small working version and see finally if it works or not. If it does and anyone who knows can see it doing so then all the oil barons will lose their power overnight. Having come across someone who can run an engine on water I have little doubt all these energy sources are genuine.
I also visited the perimeter fence of the Big Brother house on my travels today, and looked around to see a few people who'd got in as media hacks and had proper photos inside. I'll do that next I'm sure. It's quite different inside now but still the same place.
So, I keep getting inspiration to get me to the next day and no further, which is good enough, like a penny in the black. You could have a lot more but you're still just in profit.
If anything is ever developing behind the scenes we never know until it's revealed, but on global warming the news against is now outnumbering the news for, simply as there's nothing to actually report in it's credit. A tree cannot offer fruit any different from what it has, as the bible says, and this is a nothing tree. One that needed the rebels to prove the fact as the illusion was a very good one (for the sheep, you know who you are) but no different from the Wizard of Oz or The Matrix. Once you're unhooked you wonder how you could ever have believed it.
I may not be enlightened in that I see no more illusion in suffering than many people do in global warming, but it's only the esoteric final step that currently eludes me. Within the illusion of time and space the gurus claim is false I do see the illusions for what they are, and when you've caught one out the rest become a lot easier as they all have the mark of the devil. In biblical terms that means a lie can only bear a lie, and the signs are all the same. Facts don't need to be shouted or exagerrated, they speak for themselves. Liars shout or overelaborate. Just study police techniques and you'll see the same signs in everything. Al Gore probably needs to take a shot of Botox before he gives a speech to stop his body twitching like a spastic as he's telling so many whoppers.
If I ever get any personal credit for sharing the truth it'll be a bonus. What I really want is people to see through the illusion before we all return to poverty not seen for centuries in the west. This is armageddon, the final showdown. If they can catch us on global warming (and terrorism) they'll finish us off. No cars, no electricity (except nuclear) and travel permits. That is where it's heading. I said in 1975 vote no to the EU as they'd take over and no one listened. Now they make 80% of our laws. I have a track record in this area. Use your own senses. Is the climate really any different? Can you tell?
Monday, June 09, 2008
Monday again
There is no known future, and the present is taken up filling the time there is. One single project remains alive, the TV programme I did a couple of years ago which is now almost ready to go on air. No idea when though. Otherwise I plan a day or less ahead, and the next plan is a trip to Marylebone with the camera. As I'm working till tomorrow that covers me till about Thursday and that's basically how it's happening at the moment.
Ongoing projects still continue, my one man effort to disprove to enough people that global warming is an issue, my work with alien abductees and my plan to promote the Tesla tower, the only proven method to transmit cheap energy. The two big environmental groups took no interest, as they are interested in destroying capitalism, not helping anyone. That's now been tested. Plus no doubt (like Al Gore) they hold stakes in their own version of alternative energy which is a way of ripping people off from another angle.
So for now my blog has to be more entertaining than reality. If I can pull that off. So there's the rude angle (pulling off, jerking off, jacking off, having a wank etc) and any other. I will admit to not reading any blogs for a few weeks, let alone commenting, but why it should have to be a mutual affair as I comment on blogs I search out, not ones who comment on mine. But my small group of followers seem to disappeared to be replaced by who? And when I go out of my way to be controversial (although totally accurate) not a squeak. Only when I dared to say women were less interested in sex than men I got the PC brigade on my arse, and that was by an old friend (admittedly who'd forgotten me completely since then). So either no one's read it or they all agreed with me (which is difficult not to do as my argument was pretty watertight). But I do tune my knowledge doing this, and also the 30,000 plus scientists who signed the petition man made global warming is not proven need as much help as they can get. As the media refuse to bother then it's down to bloggers to fill the space as they can't stop us. I know this to be a fact as Youtube (which is meant to be moderated, unlike this) has the worst Nazi propganda all over it, all of which is regularly reported but has never been removed. So compare that with a totally free site and you can't basically surpress the internet (outside the communist countries anyhow).
Interestingly there are only a couple of people now who bother to disagree with me on global warming. They simply can't. Their case involves data which is either out of date or proven to be false. They have nothing to show us any more. The robbery continues as, like the equally odious Robert Mugabe, no one cares to stop them. Yet. The difference is Mugabe has almost total power over a weak and poverty stricken country, but the world order can only last while the truth is surpressed. Now we have all the facts we need they can't scam us on climate any longer, as new data has now filled the place of their made up cack and cannot be dismissed by anyone with nothing to contradict it but fears for the future. That is not a basis for policy.
Ongoing projects still continue, my one man effort to disprove to enough people that global warming is an issue, my work with alien abductees and my plan to promote the Tesla tower, the only proven method to transmit cheap energy. The two big environmental groups took no interest, as they are interested in destroying capitalism, not helping anyone. That's now been tested. Plus no doubt (like Al Gore) they hold stakes in their own version of alternative energy which is a way of ripping people off from another angle.
So for now my blog has to be more entertaining than reality. If I can pull that off. So there's the rude angle (pulling off, jerking off, jacking off, having a wank etc) and any other. I will admit to not reading any blogs for a few weeks, let alone commenting, but why it should have to be a mutual affair as I comment on blogs I search out, not ones who comment on mine. But my small group of followers seem to disappeared to be replaced by who? And when I go out of my way to be controversial (although totally accurate) not a squeak. Only when I dared to say women were less interested in sex than men I got the PC brigade on my arse, and that was by an old friend (admittedly who'd forgotten me completely since then). So either no one's read it or they all agreed with me (which is difficult not to do as my argument was pretty watertight). But I do tune my knowledge doing this, and also the 30,000 plus scientists who signed the petition man made global warming is not proven need as much help as they can get. As the media refuse to bother then it's down to bloggers to fill the space as they can't stop us. I know this to be a fact as Youtube (which is meant to be moderated, unlike this) has the worst Nazi propganda all over it, all of which is regularly reported but has never been removed. So compare that with a totally free site and you can't basically surpress the internet (outside the communist countries anyhow).
Interestingly there are only a couple of people now who bother to disagree with me on global warming. They simply can't. Their case involves data which is either out of date or proven to be false. They have nothing to show us any more. The robbery continues as, like the equally odious Robert Mugabe, no one cares to stop them. Yet. The difference is Mugabe has almost total power over a weak and poverty stricken country, but the world order can only last while the truth is surpressed. Now we have all the facts we need they can't scam us on climate any longer, as new data has now filled the place of their made up cack and cannot be dismissed by anyone with nothing to contradict it but fears for the future. That is not a basis for policy.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Global warming- the enemy
Seeing as a British bishop just said people who deny global warming are as bad as the man who screwed his daughter and kept all the children locked up for 30 years, I'd include myself as an incestuous kidnapper. Or not. Which of us would you call sane?
Anyway, the case is nearing the close, and there are basically as usual two types of the global warming brigade, the leaders who know the truth (and profit from hiding it) and the majority, the followers whose only crime is being too trusting and not checking the facts, which alone can be found on my other site www.kingsbury.tk if they want to look.
I'll summarise the 2008 research situation: The research links are all on my other site.
Carbon dioxide has been shown to increase with temperature increase rather than before it. Therefore the fact all life on earth requires it we really should give it a break and not waste our time cutting emissions.
The latest research conceded extreme weather events are not likely to increase with temperature.
Sea level has risen very gradually for over a century as it continues to do. The current increase will not make any difference for a very long time and there is no way any melting ice could increase it for hundreds of years as there isn't enough to do so.
The ice has been melting and freezing as it always has. When winter comes much has frozen more than before after melting more than before. Creating space for winter ice by summer melts is nature's balance and although the ice has shifted worldwide hasn't actually decreased overall whatever they tell you.
So, with all the commonly held beliefs not actually real, here are a few more points.
Global warming, based on the same figures used to show it was when it was, has stopped. There has been no increase in average world temperatures this century. This was admitted by IPCC and added it's not likely to increase for ten more. So people are being taxed for... what? To stop climate stability?
The sort of temperature increases threatened, whether happen quickly or slowly, are within normal ranges over history. Extinctions normally took place in cold periods not warm ones, and if sea does rise it does it over centuries, so even animals are able to move away in time. It's not a tsunami. Most increases in deserts have been from intensive farming and not temperature.
So with oil running out, food shortages, and overpopulation to make these happen drastically faster, people are banging on about something that has the power of a basket of kittens. What would you prefer, a warmer world or nuclear waste from the 'clean/carbon neutral' nuclear power, and worry about this instead of issues that are actually here now and affecting everyone equally? You notice there's no UN action to educate people to breed less and bring down the prices of world resources, just rob us of the little we have.
Anyway, the case is nearing the close, and there are basically as usual two types of the global warming brigade, the leaders who know the truth (and profit from hiding it) and the majority, the followers whose only crime is being too trusting and not checking the facts, which alone can be found on my other site www.kingsbury.tk if they want to look.
I'll summarise the 2008 research situation: The research links are all on my other site.
Carbon dioxide has been shown to increase with temperature increase rather than before it. Therefore the fact all life on earth requires it we really should give it a break and not waste our time cutting emissions.
The latest research conceded extreme weather events are not likely to increase with temperature.
Sea level has risen very gradually for over a century as it continues to do. The current increase will not make any difference for a very long time and there is no way any melting ice could increase it for hundreds of years as there isn't enough to do so.
The ice has been melting and freezing as it always has. When winter comes much has frozen more than before after melting more than before. Creating space for winter ice by summer melts is nature's balance and although the ice has shifted worldwide hasn't actually decreased overall whatever they tell you.
So, with all the commonly held beliefs not actually real, here are a few more points.
Global warming, based on the same figures used to show it was when it was, has stopped. There has been no increase in average world temperatures this century. This was admitted by IPCC and added it's not likely to increase for ten more. So people are being taxed for... what? To stop climate stability?
The sort of temperature increases threatened, whether happen quickly or slowly, are within normal ranges over history. Extinctions normally took place in cold periods not warm ones, and if sea does rise it does it over centuries, so even animals are able to move away in time. It's not a tsunami. Most increases in deserts have been from intensive farming and not temperature.
So with oil running out, food shortages, and overpopulation to make these happen drastically faster, people are banging on about something that has the power of a basket of kittens. What would you prefer, a warmer world or nuclear waste from the 'clean/carbon neutral' nuclear power, and worry about this instead of issues that are actually here now and affecting everyone equally? You notice there's no UN action to educate people to breed less and bring down the prices of world resources, just rob us of the little we have.
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