Spiritual development update

If everything really does make sense then maybe I have cracked it. If everything is connected then it isn't a theory it is all one, but explains what I see happening already. If we're connected of course hearing something I'm reading or saying at the same time would happen as it's all me so my thoughts and their thoughts are linked up. And ultimately there is no other as it's really just one, and when I'm ready for this revelation then it will come. And the way it's put together even those who have realised this can still teach others even though they realise there are no others, but you deal with that when you get there.

I reckon some of the things that wind me up are sent to make me find ways to stop them doing so, some are dealt with and others aren't, but any I think is a miracle after growing the seeds for 50 years. I react to everything and way more than other people within my areas of sensitivity. That's genetic and handling anxiety at levels where the whole body can reach the point of failure is a tall order for anyone. Unfortunately when you've had a sample of the worst really happening it no longer seems irrational to react as if more is on its way. We can be blamed when we know we are wrong and carry on but not for automatic reactions as we didn't create them. There's no choice how you feel or think, only what you do with the thoughts, ie reject or accept them.

So far I've done pretty well and it's only Tuesday- on Sunday I was thinking although Streetview's opened up loads more old signs because the direction ones were nearly all by junctions I doubted I'd find any more, and noticed I had just one black (rural) panel while the others were all blue. At bedtime I decided to do my weekly or so check and another direction came up 15 miles north on probably the only road I hadn't checked in the area when I drove round there as it wasn't yet on Streetview, and a black panel. How about that? There's more connection as for whatever reason that complete scenario came to me a few hours before it became real. It has green algae all over it so brought soapy water and cleaned it off before I took the photo of it. Work today, just the one although two were expected, which was how I preferred it (money? who needs money?...) and delivered my 4th lot of election leaflets in the warm sun instead. More work tomorrow and going to my mum's so that's covered and Thursday can look after itself.

My next official request/prayer is for nasties not to interrupt my peace as they so often do, including the ones that happen and the ones that may happen. Regardless of my extreme reactions (magnified by being on my own) why should I be bothered with this crap especially if it's all my own creation? I'll just uncreate it in that case with the help of any powers that be. Sometimes I wonder if people destined for awakening are given more stress as it puts them off the real world and forces us to search outside it. If you're happy with everything as it is who'd want more?

Global warming is dead!

Back again, it's too early for bed and no hurry to get up tomorrow so prefer to write than read a lot of the time here. There's the small picture of what happens to me each day and then the big picture of guidance. I also need to learn the true nature of all my fears one by one so I can drop them, but sometimes even when I do I forget and another one returns. It's my nature and always has been. A new study has just hit the internet claiming the formula used to calculate the effects of CO2 had been at least double the reality as it had the sun shining permanently. Just dividing day and night cuts that figure in half, and then other factors such as cloud cover and solar activity and in the end it has no effect at all. I've know something was up with this shit as soon as I compared the sea level figures with their claims and realised there wasn't any connection between the two. No oil company told me, or Jesus, I just checked for myself. Once you see the king's flies are open you start losing faith in him. Now the king's flies are open, his cock's hanging out and he's shat himself. Time for a new pair of trousers before the rest of the world dies of laughter or embarrassment.

Otherwise looking back a week or two things have served me very well. The old signs turning up on Streetview, even locally, have been some of the best yet and filling in many spaces in my collection I could have done in a day or two back in the 70s. I've had no particularly demanding work to do and the worst thing that happened was a blown TV which was replaced by an old and much smaller model within hours. Besides the size it does everything the other did besides teletext, but I can look at the slow stuff on cable if I really want to know the bad news (as it nearly all is). I've got no more plans and ideas besides returning to Streetview after a few days otherwise engaged, in case it provides more sign trips to make. One thing about the internet is it shows there's no shortage of interesting people around, just not around here. It has to happen sooner or later but the odds of meeting just the right people you get on with and are available to see are pretty low- I met them now and again and most lasted for many years but never permanently. In the end everyone needs replacing and they don't arrive by wishing.

This week was an interesting test, it offered nothing more than the banal, Tuseday I got lots of jobs done, Wednesday I was working and then had to sort out the replacement TV, today I was sent on a job to photograph my grandparent's grave and then had a surprise visitor for the rest of the day, so has been pretty much like most weeks with local variations so far and definitely nothing major. If I'm expected to have to enjoy life simply as I am free despite having to search far and wide for company then it's a tall order and although I manage for a while it will get boring eventually if nothing decent happens. Is there anyone who can say different?
But when faced with the big picture, despite yawning gaps where nothing appears to happen maybe it does. I'm trying to educate a bunch of radical Muslims on Facebook, whose hate of the west, represented by Israel who in turn represent the Jews is based only on their wish to cleanse the world of the kuffir, and nothing to do with any sort of facts. But although the effect of reason is almost zero standing back and watching is as bad as joining in myself. One soul saved from the dark side would be a miracle, and I can't stop just because it's potentially a waste of effort.

It may also be an ego thing but although I've had some recognition from friends on forums here I've never got a lot of credit for the work I do. I've researched so many areas since finishing my studies and produced work on many topics from psychology to politics and the supernatural, and if it was crap would never be published but nearly all has been. You don't get a law degree without learning how to check and support your facts. Like a barrister I have to find out whatever I need to learn about from those qualified and present it as a go between. I build a case from other expert's material, and like any lawyer don't waste my time if I'm going to lose, at least not when I'm not being paid for it. Apparently clever people can be incredibly naive and geniuses can still have blind spots. I've caught most with their pants down many times and only know a handful of people who are more or less immune to garbage when it appeals to them. We can all be fooled the first time but not repeatedly. In the end there is only the truth, the rest is words with only the power to confuse others. Human CO2 either creates global warming or not. However hard they try and convince us otherwise it won't make my car raise the temperature if it isn't happening. You can count most of the dead bodies from the holocaust as they weren't lost and recorded meticulously by the Germans. In fact it was one of the top nazis who estimated the toll at about 6 million at Nuremburg. You can't lose living people but some cunts (if a rude word was ever appropriate to use THIS is the time) deny it happened. You see what I mean.

Anyway, if anyone just slightly gets my drift, then join the party.

I have to moan sometimes

So far the week has been a combination of routine and a blown TV (my first new one, only about 5 years old) and then a desperate runaround to get a spare before I lost track of Neighbours. I got one in the end (about 35 years old) but will save me having to spend money immediately as they're never worth fixing now unless they cost a fortune new. I'm supposed to waste another afternoon tomorrow going to Bushey to take a photo of my grandparent's gravestone, there is a picture but apparently easier to send me to do a new one than look for it. I've taken every possible photo between here and there (at least 10 miles) and no need or wish to return. My conclusion that I've completed my collection of tools for coping with the physical and now need to add the spritual ones is correct. There are no more tricks I know for survival and they're nowhere near enough. I'll never get where I want just with them, and can only do as many spiritual practices as I can now as nothing else will get me anywhere.

I still have absolutely no plans, it would have been nice to be free tomorrow (I could go another day if I think of an alternative) and have to find a way to make the free times less boring as technically if there's nothing wrong I should be happy but it wears off after a while. I really need better. Nothing's become of my latest article but can keep sending it around in case, like any other publication. I suppose if I wrote a guide to masturbation or guesses which nationality has the largest wedding tackle I could get a job for life but I'm not lowering my standards for crap I turn over whenever I see it.

Having said all that in just over a year now despite a few gaps and turds (who doesn't get them?) the guidance has to have been present since it began. The way things just happen when I need them whatever I do, and one leads to another in such complex ways where one link missing would stop the end result tells me I must now be on the right track. Near the end I don't know, but on a mission. And I am doing spiritual teaching now, not to do with enlightenment (although I do explain Nick Roach's method to anyone interested but that's his teaching and not mine), but more the supernatural which I am capable of doing. When asked (not to me) what qualifications do we have the answers vary, but mine combines a formal training in all sorts of mental therapies, healing, and psychic development. The meditation I've learnt is for my own benefit although only on the margins of that when it happens. I'd do it a lot more again otherwise.
My own psychic development is stuck at the minor powers anyone can do, and little use to me except to show other people it's possible as an inspiration. I'll keep working on the big stuff, and the handful of people who claim such things demonstrates the huge gap between basic and advanced. But if I keep having to rely on the trivial shit around me every day and actually care about it then my life won't have meant very much in the end. That's why I need to transcend the mundane but for all I know it's not even possible. But the clues are there.

Learning is complete

I've actually been really busy today with no actual plans or obligations to start with. And with the link to Facebook can mention things about there and people may actually be part of it. I wanted to take a photo of the sign I found last week during the day, and after the last time I did the same return to one in daylight discovered they look far better taken at night with the flash as the lens dims the scene down in good light and makes them grey. Then I delivered the third pack of election leaflets locally and a trip to the little supermarket for more food. At least the day hasn't been wasted. Then quite outside my control someone obsessed with slagging off Israel has been non stop posting scurrilous propaganda which (knowing the true facts) would be nearly as bad if I left it unremarked on. For a few weeks not a single person joined in on my side till a week ago, and was beginning to wonder if they were either scared or didn't exist. I doubt many people will take notice but being subject to this all my life as a Jew had to learn the facts or be treated like a christ killer. We only just shook that off when the Vatican pardoned us 2000 years too late and the Arabs now take over. The lies are similar, the hate is identical. If even one person questions their beliefs it will be a miracle as technically I don't even expect that much.

Work tomorrow so no need to plan, although can wander about afterwards as it doesn't get dark till about 7 now. Things have gone a bit flat since the weekend, as unfortunately lack of bad doesn't make good however much we try and make it so. I've got no more plans for now though, as always tomorrow is covered so can deal with Thursday nearer the time. I expect I'll be back Streetviewing as it's just like metal detecting, anything could be hiding there but you have to go out and look. I did that for about 15 years but mainly found old money. I sold a few army cap badges for a few pounds and that was about the best I did, but got me out and about which was half the point of it. You get far better on beaches but living in London I only got to do that a couple of times and found a model car and a makeup compact which my mother may still be using. And the digging's a lot easier as well.

Overall I feel I've learnt all I can about life in the known world, and can only progress elarning beyond it now. There is a line between normal and transcendent experience and with all the effort of 20 years can just cross over at times, but not far or for long. If it's possible as many tell me to cross over properly that must be my next aim, as I feel there is something there I need to become. My own teaching is very limited as it only addresses the practical and not the spiritual, but if the spiritual works the rest is easy. You don't even care about most of the trivial things in life, I've mixed with these guys long enough to know that. I'm like the person in the book who's learnt everything about flying except how to pilot a plane themselves. I can teach it, dissect an engine, understand the science etc, but can't actually do it. That's not good enough really is it? I may even be able to help others ascend spiritually as there's little useful left to learn I haven't found already, and discarded most since. You try and test and decide pretty quickly after a while. Like many other things I've had the crumbs but not the cake and by now it really isn't enough. Some twat (for anyone who spams others is) sent me an offer to do this on Youtube, he gives free samples which is better than most but doesn't just want to sell me the products, but for a monthly fee. Now if I'm going to give blood I want to know how much they're taking in advance, I don't want to instal a permanent line thank you. Yes, definitely a twat. Plus I've already bought something from his rival who does offer all the material on CD so once you've paid you can use it forever. Any accountant knows to budget you have to know the fixed costs and there's no cap if paying every month.

I suppose realising I haven't got much more of any use to learn here is some sort of landmark, I'm not looking for any more as the progress now is about changing myself, not learning anything more. I can see when I'm being conned- the fact so many people still fall for internet scams explains why the IPCC can rob them the same way. Maybe if the Nigerians start asking for money to stop global warming they may make even more than they do now. There's no difference except we can choose whether to pay them in advance to get SIXTEEN MILLION DOLLARS but we can't stop paying the green taxes. They should really be called red taxes as they're bleeding us dry. End of sermon.

Living like savages

I'm still learning a lot at the moment. Despite nothing actually being wrong at the moment my mind is quite able to imagine things just to ruin the peace, and have to learn to deal with those. It's all based on past events but if anyone's come across hypervigilance then you'll know what I'm talking about. I always had the tendency but once a fear is experienced in reality it really kicks in.

I've done very little as far as I know since the last visit, I found one of the rarest signs in the country on Thursday night which I think had happened before I was here last, and since then have just been going with the flow of very little. I've been playing a guess the word quiz every hour and am in 5th place, and won 4 times in the last couple of days, the game hasn't been going long and first place is 35 wins. I've been 5th for a while and needed to win consistently to get back from 6th. It looks like it's chance but it isn't unless everyone plays the same way. It uses simple odds to calculate when to play and once you know is easy to stick to.
The week ahead is free thank goodness, I'll take the sign again in daylight and a few things nearby, sort out a haircut (I need to book for mine), deliver more election leaflets and one booking. I did find a sign today but so unfamiliar I'm not deciding 100% if it's one of the proper ones until someone else says so. Likely but not certain.

Nothing more is expected, I think any of the few possibilities won't happen now, but must learn to enjoy my freedom even when I pick up nonsense around me to ruin it. This week's lesson clearly. On the supernatural front I am still in no doubt all of this is being guided, as it often fits together far more than life should outside a fictional script. The woman I met last weekend would have made a decent friend had she lived in driving distance, but unlikely any more than that. But what's the point of encouraging someone who can't get to me by train and I won't go by car? Again, it must be for a reason, ie she probably wouldn't want to see me anyway, or a total loony like most of the others. I suppose if I was going to get another loony one with a PhD would be the best type, but too many other factors to wreck it for me. I am expecting a DVD of the party though which will be nice.
Maybe I'll finally play golf again as well soon, the combination of constant rain and the local course closing put me off for a few years, but after some lessons want to see the results. There's another course a mile away from the old one so will check that out sooner or later.

So as always the possibilities appear to be within the normal range but never know till they happen, last week provided far better than expected and made some good calls to the radio (more now due to the election) which people I know heard. It'll never make me famous but may teach a few people something which is why I do it mainly. It's no use knowing things if you can't share them, unless they can help you personally. Voting and politics are not like that, everyone needs to know the truth or we'll get more green taxes till we're living like savages. Won't be long then.

New world order plans leaked

I shouldn't say it too loudly but things are actually going quite well at the moment. Besides doing the work myself (gardening, housework etc) I have my freedom, another old sign has been located and taken and although nothing big has changed everything small seems to be working for a change. Ahead is more freedom so far, not a single idea but can easily wait till the time comes and fill it somehow. I've also been calling the radio quite a lot again, mainly as they've been addressing global warming, petrol prices and minor political parties with the election on its way so have had a lot to contribute.

As far as other media work is concerned sod all is the answer there, but I'll keep writing and wait for something to happen. My photos have been delivered twice but the second time the twat used the doorknocker when the dustmen were here, I assumed the noise was them and as he didn't try again said I wasn't in. Again. There's a note going on the door this time, if they kept the same people this wouldn't happen but it's always the new guys who fuck around. We had the same woman for years, I would have happily let her deliver far more than parcels but never had the encouragement. Now it's nearly always someone different and half are a pack of morons. I delivered parcels for months and never let a chance to deliver slip.

I asked a spritual teacher a simple question he raised by email and got the automated response I need a private session. I asked the price and heard nothing yet but worth a try. I know the usual junk out there and he is clearly way above them. I do my best to get on but really do need a push as unless I've missed something I hardly seem any different from when I started the work in 1997. He says everything is God and he's experienced it in a near death experience. I've come across most of it in other accounts but he got the lot. If he was chosen to get it and now teaches then if I've found him maybe there's a point there as well.
Otherwise all is mystery. The usual options are available, inadequate women, the same places and people as before but even if I can't yet change myself maybe it can change outside to help. Meanwhile I'll leave you with the biggest scandal of the century/new millennium. Barack Obama to create a world tax system based on climate change. I've said they were up to no good for years, what will it take for others to listen?

http://www.infowars.com/leaked-u-s-document-calls-for-global-regime-to-tackle-climate-change/

Talk of an election

This is interesting, and for my many phobic friends here will also understand the preliminary anguish of spending a whole evening in a party after some years off the scene. That now being done and besides being woken by the bell early and spending the early part wanting to go back to sleep went pretty well. I had nearly a month for it to hang like a tethered fart over my life, and the window has now been opened to blow it away.

The freedom is something I haven't felt for a long time, partly as it's the biggest thing I've done for a long time. Anything we find tough is an achievement, however easy it is for others, and for phobics it can be close on impossible, whatever the 'normal' people (who we all once were I'll add) think. Now I have the freedom I must make the best of it. I've pissed around since then, partly as I can and partly there was little else to do. Housework is slowly getting done, I've called the radio, made more music and delivered some election leaflets, and tomorrow's booking is now off which is only a shame as there was some more business to do which would have made some more space in the house that now has to wait another week.
This is another test, but this time an easy and enjoyable one. No guilt if I do nothing although a sign cropped up yards from its two brothers in Homerton, which besides being this side of the river is part of hell itself. I expect I'll get there eventually, it's not one I desperately need but a variation of others in the same set or I'd probably be there now. And the woman I met at the weekend lives round there, and when I thought of the journey more or less confirms the folly of getting involved there, although my remarks of a reasonable right wing straight talker probably put her right off from the go. We need reasonable right wing straight talkers before the left wing waffly sheep who don't even want the sort of society they promote take us over completely, which until our election have already here.

Maybe there should be a right wing bible, with essential truths like the commandments:

1) Call a spade a spade
2) Let the people travel freely
3) Let people keep the money they earn and leave it to their family
4) Let people rise to their own level in society without being held back by crap like comprehensive schools or positive discrimination

You get the picture, honest, straight talking Libertarianism. Common sense. No jealousy, pretence or outright lies (like global warming or multiculturalism) but let people get on with it without interference and 'guidance' from any ideology like the insidious socialism. Freedom is not an ideology, anything that restricts your freedom for an opinion of how things should be is. Keep them out.

We are all God

I've surprised myself how creative I've been the last week. Despite only one outdoor photo trip (12,000 makes it hard to find more without travelling) I've made a number of music videos, which improve as I go along, and written another article. And free ahead which is a great relief as well. An old sign just came up in Homerton, a stone's throw from two more I got last year and a right pain to get to but ought to do it. And if anyone from Laura's posse (or Laura yourself) is reading, thanks for adding me, I've been reading some of your stuff and an honour to be included.

I have just read an article on the nature of God, from one who has experienced it. It explains it all. As part of God, then of course we can create everything, as we are the same thing. Did God cheat by choosing how the world was created, assuming that's how it happened? If not then I'm not cheating by rearranging my environment- why take worse when you can have better? I haven't finished the article yet but with out of body experiences you instantly lose body association and are all you observe. You can expand to infinity and experience everyone at once as she did, I've heard of people experiencing this on smaller scales but this woman got the lot. Why so few of us have experienced this is still a mystery as if it's not destined to wreck our and other people's lives by having such knowledge then why do so few people get it? And it's not just people who want it that don't get it, when it happens it often does to people randomly (although there may be a purpose), and enhances every one of their lives permanently. How can you worry about dying when you've seen you carry on elsewhere?

It hasn't touched me yet, I've been working on such an experience for 13 years but barely scratched the surface of meditation experiences. As for any lasting that is really the final stages, till then even the biggest stuff rises and dies. The final state of enlightenment is a constant, and even a glimpse of it (nowhere near myself) is no more than a step. My only step is shifting from doubt to acceptance, once Sage Amrit, a 20 year old Cockney ex drug addict, described it so clearly I got the concept. He's on Youtube if anyone wants to see more, ignore the rough exterior, this guy knows his stuff and I can compare 100 much older and wiser who don't come close to him.

So taking on my role of creator I'd like a woman pretty soon whatever else happens, and until and unless my own enlightenment (many thousands aim, hundreds reach it) would also like to locate a few lost road signs near me this week, get an article published and get on proper TV. I'm some of the way to most of these (except women, that's a yes or no situation, like pregnancy), although the signs are apparently lost forever. But miracles involve going beyond the norm and everything I've mentioned has been in that realm.

The wrong sort of shit

A bit of spiritual stuff today, as the signs have been out. The energy when certain things, good or bad, can happen whatever you do is a phenomenon I know well and science is unaware of. The fact most of what happens isn't yet known by science doesn't stop it being real though.
I play a guess the word game every hour I can with about 100 other people, and have been about top 5 since it started this year. I had some near misses since the weekend and was overtaken and finally won again today, and before you see the other guesses you have a single blind guess first with just two letters and nobody else's words to help you. I checked the 45 minute reveal and saw I'd won that as well straight after the other. I do believe it opened up the winning energy and was tuned in for that time so I could do it again. How many other things can I do in the same way I wonder?
That leads me to the presensing of wins as well. Many times when I've played tough to win quizzes I've come second a few times within a day or so before winning. Once you get close you feel you can do it and normally do very soon after. Now if that applies to every goal then maybe I sense I'm close to enlightenment. Most people on the path get signs and improvements along the way that show them but I've never had anything obvious. But besides seeming to get it now (13 years of teaching and I bloody well should) sometimes when I practise I notice a peace and calm way beyond before, even if just for a few seconds. It's so far a physical phenomenon probably more like meditation which I've done just as long, but feels a bit different. The understanding side only applies to our enthusiasm to practise, as if we understand and believe in it then we're more likely to keep going. I know I'm doing the right thing and seen the same teachings from most of them although there is the quick path which involves complex work most of the day. As the guru says only a handful of people are on it, some are enlightened and very quickly (within months) but I have more other things to do as well and can still make it if I'm going to the usual way.

I've been pretty busy since the last entry, done a couple of music videos and another article written soon after the last came out. As I am aware of the action is the push and the result is the pull. We can only push the car of the project to get it moving, and then hope someone else picks it up and pulls it towards success. And as some teachers say the same after I worked it out myself I don't think I've got that wrong. If this guy at the gym and some others really think they can decide they want something and get it either we've all missed something or they're imagining it. Maybe I have missed a link here but not aware of any.

So I'm making starts continually, some die on the vine and others grow buds but no flowers. But each is the proverbial seed and even the bible explained it's not the seed that causes the success but the ground it goes on. And I'm often planting mine in the wrong sort of shit apparently...

Welcome to all on Facebook, and now bloody well read this!

Well thanks to someone else's profile I've finally got an app to publish my blog entries to Facebook so I'd better write something. And I always think before swearing online, and usually think 'Fuck it, why not?'...
Anyway, today is the sort of day only grandmas and aspergics bother to report, more so with enthusiasm. I'll stop short of the lavatory visits (my grandma didn't, 'it was only wind', 'I didn't get there in time and soaked myself' etc) so you can see the roots of my malady, but the rest isn't that much better.

Although I like money by this time of life the time is worth as much to me, so when my booking was cancelled although there was no alternative, and too late to go anywhere, I was free. The jobs to do list had grown and first sent my annual certificate renewal form off, then picked up my real film photos from the chemist (you don't buy all those lenses and then buy another digital to waste them) and chose the next lot of photos to print. I nearly ordered them as well but the company who've done it for 4 years didn't recognise my email address. Sweary time? Just pick your favourite one to go here. Then I did my second ever song in harmony, I can't sing but I can hold a tune and play along with it. It's good to get so many jobs out of the way but besides them coming back sooner or later to be done again it's not very exciting.
I don't think the details matter as long as people are happy whatever they're doing, and although some carry on running around till they die others like me have been to enough places already and quite content to sit around at home like a cat. But the comparisons people make from the outside seeing so many people online reporting the concerts, restaurants and holidays you'd think anyone who doesn't do that any more is a wanker. But it's no different from what you choose to eat- you can get fed up with anything if you eat too much of it and it's the same with other things.

As I've said for ages, in my case it's all down to people and always has done. As long as I have my freedom it's who I'm with that really matters, and then where I am. The only comparison anyone can make with me is whether or not they're happy with who they're with or not. It's hardly a competition as if I liked going out more I could still do it on my own, and often have. No one else will be able to share the memory with me but that's life. So when people see the routine of my week it's not such a bad thing except the lack of others to share it with.

On other news I've had precious little response to my low carbon society observations, and can only conclude people are happy to see their ready cash reduce while their opportunities to have said holidays and days out become harder and harder. This shit affects every single one of us. When you've had to give your car up because it costs too much to run don't complain then, it's too late. Complain now while you still have something left to lose.
I do always hope for more, and one very long shot would be for someone to use my work from seeing it online. I've had photos and paintings used, why not writing? Like art you don't need qualifications to be a writer, just talent, but unlike painting having qualifications as well means you can talk about certain subjects professionally, so I have something to offer. Many years of writing to order means I can more or less turn out something on request if it's within my area as there is a formula. I do send things off from time to time but to be honest the only place that didn't turn me down or ignore me is one I can't think of anything to write for, as it depends on some sort of original supernatural experience, which I haven't had for ages.

There's a divergent flow diagram that means if you look ahead the likeliest outcomes are near the centre like they have been already. Any diversion, whether up or down, is less likely but possible. You can't make these things happen. You can easily destroy things and drop down of course, like you can break a cup but can't stick it together afterwards. But no amount of effort will get you above that line, it just happens. Nothing in my 50 years tells me otherwise, and if you can show me a way then you'll be my master. I'm not holding my breath as I think everyone will realise the same as me. That's why people meditate, although we control how much we do even then we have no say in the results. The Christians hand that over to god, and say I will push and god will create. That's how it's always been and I'm not busting a blood vessel trying to beat that system.

New UK carbon taxes: My response

I read what must be one of the least publicised laws in the media yesterday, that a whole new bunch of carbon taxes have arrived aiming to get Britain's emissions down 80% by 2050. This surprised even me as technically the goal is impossible, and even if was possible would involve riding donkeys everywhere. If anything can wreck the recovery from recession this is guaranteed to. The most tragic thing is presumably the business affected by it seem to be taking it like dead sheep and appear to both be unknown of its arrival and totally uninterested in challenging it. In that case I suggest they work through the ten plagues of Egypt and see how long it takes before they complain and whether they manage to stop them before they get to killing the first born sons.

On a wider scale I see in front of me what appears to be mass hypnosis. Those immune stand around watching the others like teetotallers at an Irish wedding (excuse anyone I've offended there but you soon get used to it here), while apparently sensible people witter on about carbon footprints and sustainability despite having sod all figures to base it on. Oh, they did until the IPCC gradually admitted each one was wrong. Sorry Al, your slip is showing. And half your backside by now as well. Even when their cash is haemorrhaging away at an incredible rate, not mysteriously like a bent accountant would do it, but up front and in black and white on bills and petrol and they still laugh it off as if it really doesn't matter says mental illness to me. Temporary maybe but mental definitely.

Every element of delusional behaviour is evident here, not as in schizophrenia but as in religious mania. All cults operate by telling you only they have the answers and everyone else can't be trusted. They teach global warming in schools as if it's evolution, physics, astronomy and every other hard science including a few controversial bits. So every new generation of kids assumes the teachers are telling the truth, just as Palestinian children are told Jews are pigs and Christians are dogs. Parents and teachers know everything until you get to a certain age and ours have been twisted into little Al Gore robots spouting AGW bollocks just as if we'd entered Stepford.

The question is despite many of us looking on from the outside and despite our best efforts to wake the dead, will they come round or kill us all economically long before the decades required to find out the temperatures did not rise noticeably and it was all what I just said it was? Some people see me as personally insulting them here, but why that is is way off the reality, as the data I learnt years ago is now not just online but seeping into the mass media. All they seem to do is assassinate the characters of the scientists (like the whole University of Illinois and the Vice President of the IPCC, Yuri Izrael) and totally avoid looking at the figures they give. And with the figures given by the rest of the IPCC (so what did happen to Yuri Izrael as his words went unheeded in 2007?) one by one (we're about up to double figures now and just the ones they've conceded are wrong) their figures are proving to be no more than angel hair and fairy dust as well. Or steaming poop if you want to be less polite about it. So why do they still worship at the altar of steaming poop and leave their handbags and safes open so the IPCC operants can enter them at will as well? All answers gratefully accepted.

Low carbon economy

Britain has just got the latest climate change taxes passed, this time hitting businesses with phenomenal charges simply for using energy. The reason, to lower the UKs carbon emissions by 80% by 2050.

This makes me wonder how many people affected by this (everyone, it's happening worldwide) know what a low carbon economy means in practice?

1) Low carbon means low industry. That means cutting back on our industrial usage, in this case 80%. That seems self evident to me.

2) Taxing local industries has two immediate results. One is the taxes have to be recouped. Companies must make a profit, so will simply pass on the tax to the end user. Of course every country without such penalties will not include the charge so unless import controls are used (out of fashion currently) people will simply buy from abroad, causing local firms to go out of business. If all companies worldwide could be taxed the same then the costs would be passed on worldwide and first the public would go broke followed by the businesses. You can't get a quart out of a pint pot.

3) The increase in energy charges will have two consequences. If driving becomes too expensive it will eventually become limited to the rich. If home energy becomes more expensive (as it has) people have to spend less on everything else or freeze.

4) If you do reduce CO2 by 80% most power would be generated by nuclear. Like it or hate it, Philip Stott's estimate of 30 year's worth of uranium before that runs out (as it is destroyed in the process) won't get us far beyond 2050. All the coal lying underground will be available but gradually being outlawed.

5) If people prefer to live in pre industrial communities as a few of our local protestors do already, the population is now many times higher than it was a few hundred years ago. Sustaining such numbers by growing their own food and supplying their own fuel from wood and rubbish is hardly going to be viable. And what would they do with all the empty factories and make what they would have made without them?

6) The actual figures for what is termed alternative energy are tens of times the price of conventional at a fraction of the efficiency. The sun rarely shines, the wind rarely blows at just the right speed, and the amount of water required for wave power is restricted to very few sites. There may be alternatives to compare with what we have one day, but not today or for many years.

7) In the short and medium term increased fuel prices will gradually raise transport costs of all types making holidays, private cars and ultimately all transport unviable for all but the richest.

In the Soviet Union there were rich people, the money went to the Communist Party hierarchy. Of course if you remove huge amounts of money at one end it has to go somewhere. The rest of us will be gradually be deprived of more and more home comforts and cash until we will be living at subsistence levels. And even the government's own advisors expect power to be cut off for part of the week as there won't be enough legal fuel to run the power grid. I very much doubt more than a handful of the enthusiasts actually want to live like this, so why are they all pushing governments to make that happen? Do they really not understand the consequences?

Because I can

The week has been slightly different for a change, partly as it rained almost non stop again, and partly as I was also working or out visiting relatives. I'm still looking for old road signs but not found more yet and am pretty tired anyway. It's finally been a good business week as it was time some more money came my way, petrol's up, gas bills are up and so is just about everything else, while the interest rates are a record low and set to stay there. Penalise the savers and encourage the borrowers, that's the way to teach morals isn't it. Fuckers.

Anyway, I now have what Buddha would call emptiness. Zen emptiness possibly or just nothing. A recent video explained the flow being where there is no connection to past events to hold you back, so your attention flows from event to event in the present. I get it now and will watch myself when I see myself slipping back. I also joined Twitter yesterday (davidahoward if you want to look) after stumbling upon someone's page and seeing it won't take over the computer as it doesn't appear to pop up the new tweets although Facebook now does.
Being rather an expert on fast food have just seen Cup a Soup now has oxtail flavour (never seen it before anyway) and am just about to try it. These are the little things in life and only better when shared with another person. My experience is rarely our experience so can't talk about it again with whoever didn't share it with me. Meanwhile although my bank is the only one I know to let you pay stuff in at the hole in the wall my usual one was vandalised, I went a mile the wrong way to the next to find it broken and had to go another couple of miles the other way to find one that worked. Small but irritating.

All I can think of ahead is writing my next article, the rest will either be a repeat of every other week minus the interesting bits, or something will arrive at the time. But either way I've run out of ideas. It's times like this I really need something to happen from outside, but it doesn't usually besides the road signs in the last year. Hopefully good news will follow.

Nothing new?

Reminded by my friend on Facebook, despite always looking for something that will be of use, nothing may actually work. Admittedly my philosophy helps many other people as I use it in my work and with friends although is mainly practical rather than spiritual. The spiritual side isn't so simple though as there's no science and no direct cause. But there's no alternative while I see both yawning gaps in life and the possibility there is a lot more if only we learn how to use it.

I also see the internet appearing to become reality for many of us, and sometimes need to take photos and films of our rarer trips out to prove we're actually still capable of it. The fact the rise of broadband coincided with a marked reduction in my own social activities is no more than a coincidence, but the good side is I now appreciate so much I do since it almost dried up for various reasons. So I appreciate every person and every place I go now and always will.
I have just heard a little talk on what the flow is, and can now say it's not hanging on to what you just did mentally but just dealing with what's here now, and not worrying ahead either. So instead of being held back by thoughts of the past, like driving and looking behind you, you let it go and move on. It's that simple and I'll have to catch myself doing it now as breaking habits is as useful as meditation itself if it contributes to the same end.

I must be excused for hoping for more- is anyone satisfied with every aspect of their lives? I only worry about the major areas as who cares about the details? If the main aspects of my life are OK then the ups and downs are ridden a lot easier as they were in the past. I repeat this every now and again simply as so many days remind me of it. Besides the usual advice (uncalled for) what I should be doing to get more work and social life, as if I hadn't tried it already, I don't have any magic ways to change a single aspect of my life directly. There's no point throwing effort at it as all I'll be is alone but more tired. My current aims are to improve my media career and social life, both of which would have similar effects. As I was reminded, however early my progress is in the media it's many miles beyond nearly everyone else on earth. That means whatever I'm doing, bearing in mind I never got an Equity card or have any family connections in the area, is working. Business is relatively controllable compared to pleasure and I've always just kept ahead there. And besides the lack of acceptable women always had a bloody good social life as well but totally by just doing what I always do.

Last night I was with my mother and her friend, and also decided the main problem is if you don't get married you're left with a few loyal friends and other singles who tend to be thin on the ground and mainly peculiar. The couples drop you or won't make friends with you if you meet them later. Only being likely to make single friends restricts the options by about 90%, and it does seem to turn people into self satisfied and superior beings once they start their own family. The fact the lowest class of all are the ones to have the earliest and largest families doesn't seem to register with them at all, that if you have basically no standards and on the dole you can more or less hook up with anyone like yourself and just eat, drink, smoke and shag. The available types for the much fewer intellectuals means we're spread out worldwide, and although now able to meet up online on some sites, are too spread out to do much more. I also pointed out how people either click with me or not, and if they do last for decades. That doesn't often happen either.

So it's pretty hard to change the nature of society and although I doubt most people deliberately exclude singles from their own lives the effect is the same. Some days I see the cheese, other days I see the holes. I don't make the rules...

Tourette's blogging

I find writing this is the closest I get to Tourette's. It contains all the things I think but rarely dare to say elsewhere, so am free to release all the old nonsense that only my friends and family tend to agree with to any extent, probably as they are far more sensible than most.
Today's example (admittedly as a negative type) is diversity. Now the principle of forcing minorities to share as many group activities as possible makes as much sense as putting cats and dogs in the same cage. Yes, put all the most diverse types you can together 'because they should all get on' and watch them separate into little groups barely acknowledging the others, let alone getting on. London colleges. Go to any canteen at lunchtime and see each table of exclusive ethnic groups. That is reality. They don't want to mix. They may choose to live here for economic reasons, but tend to come in such numbers most find an existing ethnic community to join and shy away from the natives just as we did in the empire. Human nature yet the left are blind to it and prefer their evil fairy stories of multiculturalism and global warming.

Other than politics since last Monday when I found the sign it's been getting on with it. Work most days, mainly unpaid (sorting out my late grandma's estate is a job as I'm executor of the will and it's bloody hard work) and free tuition. But it's what other people get paid for even when I do it for nothing. The newspaper came out today and oddly not only were my photos not in it as expected but neither was the online book review. I can't see many old Jewish readers touching a computer let alone looking up the paper on it. Own goal JC. I'm finding more old acquaintances online, some just names from school and others women I fancied but took no notice of me. I email a few and so far had no replies as per. Maybe I will send the next a photo of more than my face except I'd be put away. But I'm certain there are no better alternatives to fix my life. The internet has become my route to friends, old or new, and basically if anyone was suitable they'd have come across my path already. If you have to go out and search then by the time you find anyone they're too far away, married or simply not interested.

The week ahead's routine so far, and anything extra will be a surprise as always, so can't even imagine what the next one will be if it even happens. I'm almost running out of questions, the answers ran out some time ago. Whether I'll have to watch the world become more and more strangled by corruption and oppression, or the truth and will of the people who want to be free will gradually prevail. One thing that unites us all however diverse is they are robbing every one of you in the false name of global warming. More cash has been extracted worldwide than most wars and will soon exceed them all, allowing for inflation. Muslims, disabled, Africans, Arabs, will all lose equally, more so if in the first world. They don't care about diversity except they rob us all equally, and unless diverse groups worldwide do their research to discover the truth and then complain about it then we'll all be so poor the only thing that will unite us are the power cuts.
We will all freeze equally if in cold countries, fail to get to work when driving and other transport becomes too expensive, and like the war, every person who fails to stand up to it deserves everything they get. For instance in our elections there are parties who will stop any policies on it, and they will get in if people vote for them. What's the point of voting the big three when besides sharing most of the same policies are all told what to do by Europe?

So in the small areas we can do something then do it. And don't give up when people put you down, if you're right then you're still right if your opponents disagree. Are they right? Do you want to see us being sent back to feudalism or agrarianism? Living and working in villages, pumping your own water, growing your own food and never leaving the area you were born? Even I went abroad a few times before realising it was better here, but no one will have the chance in a generation. People rarely think out the consequences of new ideas, and if you let them change society to stop CO2 that's exactly what will happen. By banning CO2 directly or indirectly through pricing, that will be the end result. Going back to how we were before we had industry. Great. If they like it so much then go and join a tribe in Africa as there are plenty of people still living like that, but let them destroy the ones who want it? And don't trust alternative energy, besides burning Al Gore and the IPCC the only fuel we've got is what we know about. Any others are either hidden by those who own fossil fuels or don't work. If you don't believe me then spend more than a car on wind and solar power and try and read this on your computer. I wish you luck...

My arse...

The old cliche of post coital depression applies to any other high when surrounded by lows after the event. I've achieved a heck of a lot recently but each time I get something it adds to my collection and no more. The attitude of the returnee to the gym that I can get anything and anyone I want may be his belief but I've yet to know how he expects anyone to do it. Short of accosting strangers it's not likely via agencies and groups just attract people interested in a subject who are rarely single. If I find out his formula (I bet...) I'll pas it on, although he's more likely to give me a personal regime to go with it if I ask.
Of course it's a relief to know I've filled so many gaps in my collection and increased my media work but it's not affecting my life either. I think the fact I'm gradually starting to go out and see a few people again is something, although it was quite normal till a few years ago for various reasons it all but stopped, and like shopping I now appreciate all I do whoever I have to tolerate to do so.
But the last thing I want is the peaks to stop, but you need the lasting levels to really improve your life, the rest are extras.

Underneath we all want the same things, not the ways we get them but how they make us feel. The route we take is based on our own interests and preferences but all designed to maximise the quality of life. I have my own template, my family life till my mother left and the people I saw every year on holiday for 21 years. Both were located in the best areas which makes a lot of difference and of course when you're finally kicked out of the family home (we all were as my parents got divorced and the house was sold) unless something's made you a millionaire you have to start from the bottom. I'm now where my parents would have been after maybe 10 years, so haven't done too badly, but knowing the missing parts from experience am fully aware when they aren't present. Other people hate family life and home and would rather travel, but they look for the same out of it as I do from hanging about locally with friends and family. And far better you're happy with what's here and now than have to go all over the place to look for it.

All I hope is my life creeps or even jumps closer to this ambition, whether or not I appear to be controlling it. Like Monday, I looked in places online for signs but not up to me if someone's put them there. I'm only the hunter, I haven't planted the gold as well. Until I'm enlightened when I'll be it all.

Having a pee

Why they have yellow and other pale colours when you can't change the background to see them beats me. I changed it by writing elsewhere and copying it in but can't be bothered to mess around every time.

Well it's been organised chaos. I've learnt never to take photos of people on the phone in their car from my own car now after a lunatic blocked the road after my flash went off and chased me around the block when I finally escaped. Never again, anyone mental enough to drive with one hand (or none when they change gear) on the wheel is mental enough to do anything else. I've learnt my lesson. And as far as I know it's not illegal to take a photo from a stationary car but no evidence anyway.

I got home and checked my forum replies and saw an old sign in London which meant that Streetview had also filled in the holes in its coverage as well as covering the rest of the country, revealing nearly all the corners in London previously missed and had both a turn right only sign (I only had the left) but on a pole with a circle on. Prior to 1964 these were a dime a dozen (or a sixpence) but went rapidly and unlike the triangle and direction signs were gone before I knew it, so would have been in a few years. I knew a couple around Britain but nowhere near here, and this was bang in the middle of London.

This also means I can relax the whole week as not only have I got something already but each one reduces the number I still need. It was also nice to find after my regular toilet was out of order there was a hotel opposite, and as well as using their facilities, which were harder than finding most of the signs, got some photos of the inside.



Unlike the last few weeks I'm booked every day more or less and nothing demanding so besides today where I sat on my arse after running around all yesterday and recharged my batteries there's little mystery ahead. It's the final week I'd be likely to hear about the newspaper (bloody echoes of last time, although this will not affect my career in any way), and read that when things don't work then they are wrong and leave them alone. I recognised this as a perfect example, even though I have no idea why anyone would ask someone to take photos and then ignore them I can't change it. Very strange behaviour though. Well that's about it for the week so far, but a success already so the buggers can't get me for a while.

A second holocaust?

In the 1930s one man was responsible for persuading millions of people the Jews were responsible for most of the ills in the world, and succeeded in removing 6 million before the allies finally stopped them, although it has been said many allied forces knew all about it and did nothing, making them no different from the French collaborators.

Today we see the whole of mankind at blame, by arguably a single person, and not taken up by one set of powers but the UN and most governments worldwide. Mankind has been found guilty of polluting the planet and rather than killing them, which is very last century or third world, is punishing them in every other way they can think of, mainly financial.

Do we want silence from all those who suspect the truth, or pains in the backside like me reminding people every week or more that there is a scandal going on that can only be stopped by a single thing, the truth. Unless you learn and spread the true figures which are freely available, you are no less guilty than the British government for pretending the concentration camps were a surprise when their troops found them days before the end of the war, when most had died or would soon die of starvation, rather than listen to the intelligence and risk alerting the enemy to their presence in the areas. Their big picture, much like the current one, ignored the suffering of the people for victory, even if millions of people suffered or in that case died as a result.

People are dying here as well, indirectly but by diversion of funds for clean water projects and malaria eradication, to be followed by people freezing to death from not being able to pay for the increased energy prices, or power rationing in many countries. In the end the toll could be as great but impossible to point the finger directly, which is how they can keep on and think they're not being noticed. Well I notice them, and many others do as well, and only by passing this on can we stop the scandal becoming permanent. They've already stolen billions of our money and unless people do the same research I did years ago, now greatly updated, will they realise the truth and hopefully share it as I continue to do.

Dreaming of more

Looking back on the week I've done quite a bit, but technically nothing but space here and beyond. Besides the freedom to look up nearly every road from home now the other areas really need more than the basic routine which has hardly changed since my friends left the country 8 years ago. I've even had not a date this week (ie female, taken out, no more) which is good for the sanity but not the body. I've started scanning in my grandpa's slides from the 60s and 70s to be printed out when complete, and does not look like the photos I took a few weeks ago are going to be used in any shape or form, which brings to question why I was asked to do it at all. Basically you can't dismiss how you feel though, and if a day is boring you get bored, cause and effect are no different than any other physics, and therefore would be pretty incredible if I didn't even though there may be nothing wrong, there's not a lot else either.

Of course had there been a formula to get out of it we'd all be using it, but as my personal key is other people then without any around I can amuse myself until i can't any more. You don't leave pets alone and we're no different. And you can't talk an animal out of loneliness either. Cats can go out but if they return to an empty house are in a fairly similar position. That's just the reality, no value judgement is needed.

So it's always good to look back and see I haven't wasted the week, or even a day, but always seems to leave me back where I started. False hope is worse than no hope, and whether I've been set up for it by a fool's errand or just wonder if the same phase can't last forever it's really only exactly what there is that exists, and any more is only imagination. Although I have just read that inner and outer may be the same, meaning whatever we think is no different to the outer reality.
Then my dreams, which offer the best and worst extremes beyond normal reality may overlap after all, although they give me music and names and places which do exist, and show me road signs very similar to ones I find soon after in places with names which can be worked out from some of the locations. Now again, if they can show me road signs days or more before I find them then the other ones where a situation has been sorted out could point to that as well.

I don't think my dreams give me false hope although besides the signs none of the good ones have apparently become reality. The least they do is show me what I'm missing and how I'd feel if it happened. I would hate it if there was no point in them, or my life either. I have now graduated to being able to have all five senses in dreams recently, not all at once but they have all appeared in full at times now. If that means anything I don't know either, but does add a dimension to them which takes it further from imagination (I can't use any senses in that) to something half way between. I also saw a little clip about the meaning of satguru which explained it perfectly, that even when you have no teacher ask yourself the question and the best answer comes from your own, the satguru. That's been my online name since I arrived, hardly anyone either cares or understands what it means, but it's guided me to many things all my life, so wonder if I could listen to it more and keep myself out of trouble when I follow my ego/subconscious instead.

I will practice, ask more questions and see if the answers mean more than the guesses that would be the alternative. You know when you've got the right answer, evidence or not. That is intuition, the highest level of knowledge. That tells me when people are lying or trying to keep knowledge for themselves etc, telling me all I need to know about most people in authority. I share it and get torn down for attempting to kill sacred cows. Now excuse me, in the universe there is nothing but the truth, so why hold on to lies because the truth means the people you admired are lying and stealing from you, you can't rely on them so may god forbid have to rely on your own resources. Now that's frightening so rather than accept governments are our oppressors and enemies shout down anyone who suggests it as why would anyone want to ruin the world for their own benefit. Bloody hell, my question is why wouldn't they?

Mummy, they're crying carbon again!

To be honest I'm well pissed off having to spend so much time having to report all this only to be abused by people whose religion is being attacked. Now if Islam was involved with it as well I'd really be in trouble for having a go. But if they keep spraying us with their foul manure on every possible opportunity I must be here to try and wash it away.

Just in case anyone's missing my global warming announcements I don't want to disappoint anyone so will update the situation there. Firstly the technical terms. No, climate change is not something different. George W has been blamed for swapping terminology 'not to frighten the public' (global warming's frightening? What's happened to people suddenly?) but is only an abbreviation of the official term 'Climate change due to global warming". If you think about it without that element there would be bugger all left, and that's being polite (for me anyway). The present broadcasts are the scientists and spin doctors (hold on, where's the line now?) killing themselves trying to wriggle out of the fact they've been caught with their hands in the cookie jar with their pants on fire and cooking the books. In fact there are both no cliches not applicable left on telling untruths, and a ripe situation to write many more. Telling temperature tales, twisting the mercury, pulling our thermometers, crying carbon, fiddling the freeze, shuffling the emails, dealing from the bottom of the graph, and possible there's an infinite number (to imitate their own reporting enthusiasm) more. For pity's sake give up and let us spend our own money again!

It is going to be a long and hard battle. Vested interests don't give up without fighting till the end. At least one of the kings, Phil Jones, has watered down the acid with his latest interview, although largely ignored by all the believers and leaders alike. But each piece removed from their mountain will gradually erode it to a small pile of ash which will blow away in the non-temperature induced wind. But despite the fact truth has no place in their campaign (only in as far as it's used to hide the lies anyway) it is now reaching the general public after being online for years and will be harder and harder to maintain each piece of the jigsaw when it's found to be made with invisible ink and dissolving paper. Eventually when applied to each claim there'll be nothing left to defend or pretend.

PS, if faced with the typical tosh about pollution then try this. Ask whether life needs CO2 to exist. Yes it does. Then when does an essential amount become a pollutant? Er...
And what about 95% of the greenhouse effect, water vapour. How much would that need to increase before it becomes a pollutant?
We are dealing with total ignorance here and can easily be cured with facts and figures but who wants to listen?