Still exploring life, having heard the theory we create from our thoughts I wonder how my thoughts created a pair of power saws opposite this morning that woke me up and stopped me going to sleep? By any stretch of the imagination nothing I could have conjured up from nowhere would have been responsible for some sort of pointless disturbance that popped up at random. Unless like Jung it's a deep symbolic meaning I must wait for to arrive which will provide the key to that particular item and the chance to let it go. I will keep looking.
Otherwise today's been housework which is something. No real shifts besides cleaning and almost repairing the cat feeder, the rest being minor tidying and gardening which could have become major if left too long however. Yesterday dragged a number of reasonable photos from the minimum of inspiration, and thank goodness I did some work on Tuesday. So, so far a typical week and little to excite or amuse beyond my imagination. Plus the mouse. Not the one for the computer, the one that was introduced to my lounge by the cat last night, ran under the sofa, pissed off and hasn't been seen since. As it didn't arrive (like my grandma's visitor) from outside there's no way out unless I see it and remove it. I won't kill it, the cat seems to have lost interest (not a bad thing) so unless it turns up running across a room I have no idea where or how long it will be here for. All I can do is leave some food out and see what happens. All I need.
It's been a shame turning down arrangements as the ear doesn't just hurt but generates symptoms sometimes as well. Just enough to stop me doing things beyond the very easy. People worry but it's nothing dreadful, just a fucking nuisance. But with 47 years of experience behind me I make sure I always acheive the next easiest things to the ones I couldn't do so always get something done, showing it can't stop me altogether so far. No one should be expected to go through life constantly healthy and if it's my turn for something nasty then what can I do?
I am a record keeper. I put a mileometer on my bike and feel satisfied if I do a few more miles than usual. Because of the hills here it's not as many as some but steady progress. There's no point losing track of events, after about 10 I realised I needed to keep records of my radio calls, it's now up to well over 400. And that's just LBC, about 100 more altogether. And who I called and what about. Only a few filofax pages, very easy to store. Looking back you see how each week you add something, small or important, so even without a job life can still be productive. And how many people would work if they could afford not to? If I was rich I'd have an office next to my house and invest in a proper business, hopefully a radio studio to do phone ins or similar, and a room for individual and group therapy and tuition. I'd rent the place out and as long as fairly busy would make a profit however many hours I did myself. Though I'm not rich it means I wouldn't stop working but do what I wanted and when. I'd be able to work more than now as I could afford the premises. I tried doing the same a number of times elsewhere and even without paying rent without clients spent most of the time sitting around waiting while people never arrived. I know a couple who put their life savings in an identical project and that went west within a year, as did the other people I worked for. Very social but no money in it.
And the fucking Indian shop ran out of cakes. How the hell does that happen? With a few hours sleep I wasn't going to shop around so took a pack of assorted biscuits with a 2 week date on and will lose weight from lack of jam tarts. I have toast though so all may not be lost. If I had someone at home to talk to or wait for I'd have a real life. Till then it's make the best of it. For ever possibly. With a mouse.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Weekend review
Back again. Besides the ear infection there hasn't really been much wrong the last week, although having an ear infection in itself casts a cloud over things much of the time. So eliminating that element I got a few more good photo runs, except for today when I went out with an ordinary camera and soon discovered it had no film. I'll have do go there again with a digital but it was a bit of a pain to do twice.
The BBC have been showing photos changing twice a week since I started adding mine 2 weeks ago, and had 2,1,0 and 1 up so far which is a lot more than many people. It's also interesting to see which ones they pick and some I expect while others can be a surprise.
As far as I know at the moment I have literally no plans left, business or pleasure. The fact my TV programme in 2 weeks should be there to rescue me is a great help, and will be filming my 4th the day after. Socially the ear trouble has more or less put an end to all but visitors and the rare local friend (in existence and timing) but little else. Not enough energy or balance at times, so I conserve it but still turn out good stuff. If I'm indoors much more I'll write another article and then do another drawing. No end of opportunities for that. Otherwise I'll do what I did last week and let nature take its course for a change. Even with no plans you usually think of something at the last minute. Little else to report really. When your health is up the creek it does make you realise how much you could do before it packed up, and hopefully will do when it returns. Every little task becomes appreciated when it's hard work to do, and looking ahead to when I may be able to do so easily again. Physically I was always pretty healthy, the only glitch was by accident and not illness, but since the exhaustion kicked in (not ME, this is measurable and with clear causes) my immune system has reduced its efficiency and allowed new germs to colonise that make it impossible as yet to return my health. The original causes have gone but until the effects are I can't live my normal life again. Even if no one reads this I can look back and see my own progress over time, which is also quite important. Remember until blogs everyone's diaries weren't read by anyone else. This is a new phenomenon. Read it for fuck's sake! If you don't we'll all stop writing.
The BBC have been showing photos changing twice a week since I started adding mine 2 weeks ago, and had 2,1,0 and 1 up so far which is a lot more than many people. It's also interesting to see which ones they pick and some I expect while others can be a surprise.
As far as I know at the moment I have literally no plans left, business or pleasure. The fact my TV programme in 2 weeks should be there to rescue me is a great help, and will be filming my 4th the day after. Socially the ear trouble has more or less put an end to all but visitors and the rare local friend (in existence and timing) but little else. Not enough energy or balance at times, so I conserve it but still turn out good stuff. If I'm indoors much more I'll write another article and then do another drawing. No end of opportunities for that. Otherwise I'll do what I did last week and let nature take its course for a change. Even with no plans you usually think of something at the last minute. Little else to report really. When your health is up the creek it does make you realise how much you could do before it packed up, and hopefully will do when it returns. Every little task becomes appreciated when it's hard work to do, and looking ahead to when I may be able to do so easily again. Physically I was always pretty healthy, the only glitch was by accident and not illness, but since the exhaustion kicked in (not ME, this is measurable and with clear causes) my immune system has reduced its efficiency and allowed new germs to colonise that make it impossible as yet to return my health. The original causes have gone but until the effects are I can't live my normal life again. Even if no one reads this I can look back and see my own progress over time, which is also quite important. Remember until blogs everyone's diaries weren't read by anyone else. This is a new phenomenon. Read it for fuck's sake! If you don't we'll all stop writing.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
More pony and trap
One question that's occurred to me recently is how would other people react in my exact position? It's so easy to throw stones from outside when it's not your problem but being in a situation virtually impossible to alter by any means is going to get to everyone somehow as being in the crap is the same whoever's in it. That's a question up for discussion, I can add no more than present it, but these pages reflect that position.
Today for instance. Complete neutral. A free day from beginning to end and not an idea or person to fill it. I also know why some people go on about mundane details of their life like what washing they did or food they made. There's nothing else. Today was like that and I'm on my way to sounding like I have Alzheimer's at this rate. Have I told you I did the sheets last week? I was going shopping but I went to the park instead. That I do remember. And I got as far as Blackbird Cross and took pictures in the churchyard and found a few very nice paths there I'd never discovered before, tucked in between gravestones and chapels of rest. Here's one example:
Today for instance. Complete neutral. A free day from beginning to end and not an idea or person to fill it. I also know why some people go on about mundane details of their life like what washing they did or food they made. There's nothing else. Today was like that and I'm on my way to sounding like I have Alzheimer's at this rate. Have I told you I did the sheets last week? I was going shopping but I went to the park instead. That I do remember. And I got as far as Blackbird Cross and took pictures in the churchyard and found a few very nice paths there I'd never discovered before, tucked in between gravestones and chapels of rest. Here's one example:
If my websites represented the rest of my life I'd have a small empire of products by now. It's so easy to sit here and add to every aspect of my 7 or so personal sites and other forums around, and thank goodness all is read by a few or many people and appreciated by many as they say so (not here any more but they do). As unproductive I am in the real world is how I've transferred my productivity to websites. And I call the radio. All about creativity and exposure. I'm not a celebrity of any sort yet, but working on it. And I know it'll happen as my network of branches grows continually and one more, probably the biggest, is due in a few weeks. Meanwhile I am still obliged to fill the empty time as best I can, and I also mowed the front lawn later today, so people don't walk past and think that's where the plebs must live, for a few weeks anyway. Like having a haircut. And believe me, if I'm suffering from depression at any time at the moment it's for a very good reason. I feared being left alone for half my life and then it happened. As more and more situations happen each would be better when with someone else with you, and I don't. So I talk to my blog, the cat, the phone and radio presenters. But I can't see any and still wonder if anyone else is in the same position or actually cares?
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Review of the week
Last week was a free one after two pretty busy ones, I needed the break and wondered if by any chance any more would happen than the bleedin' obvious, however tiny the chances were. Of course the answer was a resounding no, but I did take some very nice photos and the BBC put 2 of mine on TV in the first half of the week and another the second half, after I started adding them to their site on Monday. Quite a good record. Otherwise there's little to report, and when life repeats itself how can you report anything more than the routine that follows from day to day? And to the 10 people who apparently visit every day unlike livejournal or others everyone can comment here without being a member. Hint. A few people I linked not only stopped posting but wiped the blogs as well. So many people do work online and then wipe it when they leave somewhere. I can't see the point. It costs nothing to leave an old blog gathering dust for new readers, and quizzes to be played. Madness and immaturity can be found in even the most apparently sensible people, and in one I did see the signs coming and didn't take long to see the final result.
It's obvious but unless my health is OK life sucks. It's like the weather at the moment, changing throughout the day, and if it stayed good I could almost go back to my old self, instead of rationing everything I do. I did manage a few little jobs in the week which aren't (yet...) affected by my health, ie housework and gardening. So far the diary is clear ahead, and that's how I prefer it at the moment. And 3 weeks till my new series starts and my 4th filming takes place. I think 4 TV appearances, even if only seen on a few TVs are pretty good for someone who waited 46 years for the first sound and vision appearance. I'm sure had one been on real TV someone would have contacted me through the station from the old days, I saw Dr Noreena Hertz become famous after being successful as a professor, she is a few years younger than me and is one of the many women who rejected me over the years. I met her in the kitchen at a party in East Finchley where I grew up, and it turns out she may have lived in that house or road as well. Apart from a few lines she looks exactly the same and given the chance I would still love to give her one, as many others would. So from a very interesting hobby seeing and meeting celebrities, which literally put me up with A listers, I now want to be on that list and people saying they met me. Why not? Unlike the Big Brother crowd they are only celebrities because we know them, not for actually being good at anything. No real foundation there, my career is based on my interests and clear ability in front of the cameras, which I was complimented on the last time. The other element I want to be known for on TV is making people laugh, and hopefully I'll get the chance to do that sooner or later.
One little high spot today, one of the few women as interested me as I was in her still appears to be interested. Miles away but there may be hope there. And at least despite not being currently available I know she cares.
My current question is how would other people react given my exact circumstances? I may be naturally sensitive but seem to have had more of my share of stress in the last few years, none of which many people deserve. And I shouldn't even feel guilty for not having a job, the fuckers who turned me down for things I could have done in my sleep should be. Had I got used to working again a few years ago I may well still be now. The laptop was finally fixed after confounding the engineer for 2 weeks, but the more important ear infection seems to be causing a lot more mystery for the doctor. If there is a plan something has deliberately put the brakes on me as although I am often dizzy, tired and in pain I get other things done during it and in between. And have to turm down simple arrangements simply as I can't rely on myself to manage them. It forced me to risk losing friends but to be honest I never had them any more anyway. My real friend is abroad and the others the past. The rest don't matter. But how a simple problem that should clear up in a week becomes part of my new body is beyond even the experts. Something should fix it but at the moment it's quite possible it can be permanent. And no one can tell me why. I'm not a doctor so it makes no sense to me, but at the moment it seems to make no sense to them either. I haven't got cancer, I haven't got aids, but would you want anything that comes and goes indefinitely whether fatal or not? I don't think so.
It's obvious but unless my health is OK life sucks. It's like the weather at the moment, changing throughout the day, and if it stayed good I could almost go back to my old self, instead of rationing everything I do. I did manage a few little jobs in the week which aren't (yet...) affected by my health, ie housework and gardening. So far the diary is clear ahead, and that's how I prefer it at the moment. And 3 weeks till my new series starts and my 4th filming takes place. I think 4 TV appearances, even if only seen on a few TVs are pretty good for someone who waited 46 years for the first sound and vision appearance. I'm sure had one been on real TV someone would have contacted me through the station from the old days, I saw Dr Noreena Hertz become famous after being successful as a professor, she is a few years younger than me and is one of the many women who rejected me over the years. I met her in the kitchen at a party in East Finchley where I grew up, and it turns out she may have lived in that house or road as well. Apart from a few lines she looks exactly the same and given the chance I would still love to give her one, as many others would. So from a very interesting hobby seeing and meeting celebrities, which literally put me up with A listers, I now want to be on that list and people saying they met me. Why not? Unlike the Big Brother crowd they are only celebrities because we know them, not for actually being good at anything. No real foundation there, my career is based on my interests and clear ability in front of the cameras, which I was complimented on the last time. The other element I want to be known for on TV is making people laugh, and hopefully I'll get the chance to do that sooner or later.
One little high spot today, one of the few women as interested me as I was in her still appears to be interested. Miles away but there may be hope there. And at least despite not being currently available I know she cares.
My current question is how would other people react given my exact circumstances? I may be naturally sensitive but seem to have had more of my share of stress in the last few years, none of which many people deserve. And I shouldn't even feel guilty for not having a job, the fuckers who turned me down for things I could have done in my sleep should be. Had I got used to working again a few years ago I may well still be now. The laptop was finally fixed after confounding the engineer for 2 weeks, but the more important ear infection seems to be causing a lot more mystery for the doctor. If there is a plan something has deliberately put the brakes on me as although I am often dizzy, tired and in pain I get other things done during it and in between. And have to turm down simple arrangements simply as I can't rely on myself to manage them. It forced me to risk losing friends but to be honest I never had them any more anyway. My real friend is abroad and the others the past. The rest don't matter. But how a simple problem that should clear up in a week becomes part of my new body is beyond even the experts. Something should fix it but at the moment it's quite possible it can be permanent. And no one can tell me why. I'm not a doctor so it makes no sense to me, but at the moment it seems to make no sense to them either. I haven't got cancer, I haven't got aids, but would you want anything that comes and goes indefinitely whether fatal or not? I don't think so.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Empty space
Another day, half way through the week, the first in a while not packed with business type activities. One less tonight as my second client sent a message while I was out they couldn't make it which I didn't get till later on. I was worn out from gardening and things so better off free but I need the cash!
My free yesterday had some high points, all photographic. Within walking distance I took what I consider some of my best house and garden photos, although they were roads I went to in my first week of digital photography. A combination of new gardens and looking at every house allowed many more new views plus two cats I came across on the route. The second was after joining the BBC Buildings of Britain group on Monday when the new photos were on BBC interactive two of the five I added were on TV! They change every Tuesday and Friday and we can add five new ones a day, so a new photographic career!
My free yesterday had some high points, all photographic. Within walking distance I took what I consider some of my best house and garden photos, although they were roads I went to in my first week of digital photography. A combination of new gardens and looking at every house allowed many more new views plus two cats I came across on the route. The second was after joining the BBC Buildings of Britain group on Monday when the new photos were on BBC interactive two of the five I added were on TV! They change every Tuesday and Friday and we can add five new ones a day, so a new photographic career!
The blogger help forum is either more than useless or I've had no replies (or both) as once you post a question there's no way of knowing who replies or where your question is to look. Well organised Google, who have single handedly made blogger the least used system on earth since they took over. Nearly every blog I read now is either through the London link or people I already know, which means 99.9% of blogs here are impossible to locate as is my own to new arrivals. Other than that there's little to report. Sod all on TV besides a video I recorded earlier, Britney Spears' life story is on now which is why I'm in here instead. And that's the better of the shite offered, although should I check the cable lot the quality would be the same as well. The US open golf starts tomorrow and I should see some in between arrangements.
It's early, I have freedom and run out of ideas. The internet is useful but can't replace living when there's little living to do, like watching big brother. At least they have someone to talk to. I write here. It's too late to phone anyone on the list now, they'll have to wait. And it's all business type calls besides one and she wasn't there the last time I tried anyway. You can't keep yourself occupied all the time when you're on your own, I will be going for a walk and have some shitty housework which will probably be done tomorrow now, but at least the back garden got a start at last. And the current countdown to my TV appearance is 3 1/2 weeks, except being split into 7 instalments I have no idea if mine will be on when the series starts as it's only going on TV on demand. I have no philosophy left for today, I had to use quite a bit in my work booking and that was really old stuff and not even my own. And where has my own got me?
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Load of crap
Sunday 10.52 PM. Yes, the BB season is with us again and I'm caught up as always. The question is whose life is more boring, theirs or mine? Until I've been there for a while I couldn't say, as after a week or two I'd probably get cabin fever. Unless I was at it with someone I suppose. The only real crumpet (Emily) this year has just been slung out and none of the others really do anything for me besides Shabnam. As long as you avoid the teeth.
Anyway, back to real life, dull dull dull. I did a lot already last week, work and photos, and please god in a week either I'll be on TV or my series will, and till then who knows. No plans next week (a good thing, the last lot took it out of me despite either seeing lots of people or earning) but I'll drive around looking for something else to photograph. At least the laptop's back now, working nicely and using Firefox as the IE is an old version and won't perform properly, and Firefox allows all the photos and animations without a fight. And it has its own extra search bar without the need for Yahoo's one, although I may need a popup blocker if they start.
Otherwise it's gone a bit dead, the routine is no longer providing enough to maintain an interest and the alternatives are no better. I can write and paint and will, but being almost summer it'll keep me at home, although I can write in the garden I can't paint there. I can always do some pencil drawings. None of the supernatural events recently can be lost but don't repeat often and although I see a form appearing to hold our lives I have as yet no control over it. Tomorrow I must start a really dodgy list of phone calls, either business or people I don't want to see. Some after being put off for months really don't get the message. Maybe compared to other people my just talking to them puts me in the status of close friend. The growing list of attractive eastern women who have no intention of physical contact but are happy to waste my time and petrol is growing. It's like a curse. Show the starving man the menu complete with pictures but don't let him eat. Wonderful. So, little new on that front, or any other.
I really need just one person to come along to my house and keep me busy. Not chasing debts or lost files but having fun or helping me with the housework. Normally called a wife I may have to cash in my bank account and pay someone if this is ever to happen. If I had it. I've also had two normally reliable people stop emailing recently which I can't explain either. I hope I solve the mysteries as it's something I've never done. And from about 5 messages sent to friends reunited I got one reply. About standard. I was a pain in the 70s but had lots of friends as well. Not now, apparently.
Anyway, back to real life, dull dull dull. I did a lot already last week, work and photos, and please god in a week either I'll be on TV or my series will, and till then who knows. No plans next week (a good thing, the last lot took it out of me despite either seeing lots of people or earning) but I'll drive around looking for something else to photograph. At least the laptop's back now, working nicely and using Firefox as the IE is an old version and won't perform properly, and Firefox allows all the photos and animations without a fight. And it has its own extra search bar without the need for Yahoo's one, although I may need a popup blocker if they start.
Otherwise it's gone a bit dead, the routine is no longer providing enough to maintain an interest and the alternatives are no better. I can write and paint and will, but being almost summer it'll keep me at home, although I can write in the garden I can't paint there. I can always do some pencil drawings. None of the supernatural events recently can be lost but don't repeat often and although I see a form appearing to hold our lives I have as yet no control over it. Tomorrow I must start a really dodgy list of phone calls, either business or people I don't want to see. Some after being put off for months really don't get the message. Maybe compared to other people my just talking to them puts me in the status of close friend. The growing list of attractive eastern women who have no intention of physical contact but are happy to waste my time and petrol is growing. It's like a curse. Show the starving man the menu complete with pictures but don't let him eat. Wonderful. So, little new on that front, or any other.
I really need just one person to come along to my house and keep me busy. Not chasing debts or lost files but having fun or helping me with the housework. Normally called a wife I may have to cash in my bank account and pay someone if this is ever to happen. If I had it. I've also had two normally reliable people stop emailing recently which I can't explain either. I hope I solve the mysteries as it's something I've never done. And from about 5 messages sent to friends reunited I got one reply. About standard. I was a pain in the 70s but had lots of friends as well. Not now, apparently.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
I should be in bed...
But before that I had to come in here.
It was a busy week, bits of work and 2 photo trips round London NW11, the lost centre of my universe. Wherever I lived I seem to return to the previous ones. Now I returned to the first one which is fine in itself but definitely not NW11, where I've never lived but was on the border and had my friend there for 30 years. I worked there, went to school there and even had a dentist there. It was the centre of my life literally from birth as I've lived all round it and visited it from a very early age with memories of all the changes. I took a photo of one this week as a shop removed its sign and under it was a perfect VG Foodstore one from the 70s. I took a photo of it and will probably only be seen until they have the new one made.
I have no plans left except my laptop has now been repaired and I won't miss the internet at weekends now. At least I appear to have something to look forward to again, as my TV appearance is in about a month at last. I thought it was a lost cause and although depressed over it had to manage in the belief my last hope had gone in the future, and (until it's shown) now it seems to be redeemed.
One thing I read and was also more or less told in a recent message intuition is higher than teaching. I know so many things without being able to prove it to anyone else, and now realise that it doesn't need to be, this information is for my own use, and if other people choose to accept it it's up to them. I will now carry on not worrying that I won't be able to explain to others how I knew Heather Mills was an awful bitch (which was confirmed in many newspaper articles) or how I can spot a crook in seconds. It's like when I come across a situation I know something specific about it already, like any 'dumb animal's' instinct. We haven't got nearly as much, so who's really dumb? Now I'll trust it as the book said until we know something ourselves just being able to learn it from others is very basic.
My screen name, satguru, refers to this, that we know everything already, and just need to discover it. We can all tune in to our intuition and not worry about the fact we haven't got any legal type evidence for it, we're rarely wrong. That is our higher nature at work.
It was a busy week, bits of work and 2 photo trips round London NW11, the lost centre of my universe. Wherever I lived I seem to return to the previous ones. Now I returned to the first one which is fine in itself but definitely not NW11, where I've never lived but was on the border and had my friend there for 30 years. I worked there, went to school there and even had a dentist there. It was the centre of my life literally from birth as I've lived all round it and visited it from a very early age with memories of all the changes. I took a photo of one this week as a shop removed its sign and under it was a perfect VG Foodstore one from the 70s. I took a photo of it and will probably only be seen until they have the new one made.
I have no plans left except my laptop has now been repaired and I won't miss the internet at weekends now. At least I appear to have something to look forward to again, as my TV appearance is in about a month at last. I thought it was a lost cause and although depressed over it had to manage in the belief my last hope had gone in the future, and (until it's shown) now it seems to be redeemed.
One thing I read and was also more or less told in a recent message intuition is higher than teaching. I know so many things without being able to prove it to anyone else, and now realise that it doesn't need to be, this information is for my own use, and if other people choose to accept it it's up to them. I will now carry on not worrying that I won't be able to explain to others how I knew Heather Mills was an awful bitch (which was confirmed in many newspaper articles) or how I can spot a crook in seconds. It's like when I come across a situation I know something specific about it already, like any 'dumb animal's' instinct. We haven't got nearly as much, so who's really dumb? Now I'll trust it as the book said until we know something ourselves just being able to learn it from others is very basic.
My screen name, satguru, refers to this, that we know everything already, and just need to discover it. We can all tune in to our intuition and not worry about the fact we haven't got any legal type evidence for it, we're rarely wrong. That is our higher nature at work.
Friday, June 08, 2007
A day of freedom
After 2 whole days of intermittent work today was free! I booted one possible arrangement as far into the distance as I could, and as a result lost another which I postponed until the other had been dealt with, and they forgot to check. So in the end I spent the evening at my grandma's which was a lot easier and made her happy. So a better result overall.
I made my planned trip to Golders Green to take pictures of people at bus stops, the current project inspired by my Flickr groups, and collected a nice little bunch. We also got our new updated interactive TV service today and amazingly after missing Dr Who over the weekend due to a programme overload they had it on catch up TV and I managed to see it after all, which was pretty amazing as it was the first time the service was introduced after I needed to use it. I like it when things like that happen.
Then on the way home tonight I hear Talk Sport radio just introduced a premium rate phone number to cost the average caller a few quid every time they call. I went on the forum and the thick spastics were moaning because the new fucking number didn't rhyme!
Now the only reason arseholes like Talk Sport (Rupert Murdoch) do this is because the average Brit is a stupid wanker that doesn't know their arse from their elbow. We have our share of intellectuals and bright sparks but visit the average pub and you'll see what I mean. These guys will be potential callers and when they get their phone bill (if they bother to look) will then realise what apparently only I knew the second I heard it. That is why prices generally are so high here, as people pay them. Two garages up the road from each other, one charges 20p a gallon more and the expensive one regularly has a queue. People are cretins. So why do they moan the rare times they realise they've been exploited? If they haven't the brains to compare two garages on the same road and choose the expensive one, even when they have to wait 10 minutes, the clever people will rob them until the day they die and it'll be their own stupid faults. It's not the same as leaving a phone on a table and expecting it to be nicked as theft isn't the free market. It's seeing two identical products at different prices and choosing the expensive at random, or taking the time between a phone call and the resulting bill before discovering a premium rate number exchange.
Just for the record, any starting 09 will cost an arm and a leg, and 087 a few fingers. 07s are pretty mean as well, especially the 070 ones. Expect to lose a testicle (for men) and a pair of nipples (for women) if any business has one of those. They rely totally on people not learning a few simple 3 figure prefixes (as the rest of the number won't affect the price) and not checking the bills after to see why a half hour call cost them 3 quid. I am considering this time not even listening to Talk Sport, after not calling for months the last time they tried something like that. But being in Britain people will rent their kids out for prostitution if Tony Blair tells them to. They trust authority and the authorities (who don't share their stupidity but equal it with evilness) take full advantage of it. I can't raise anyone's IQ but we can all raise people's awareness.
Anyone who wishes to can add their view here once registered as a user.
http://forum.talkforum.org/viewtopic.php?t=16738
and don't be scared to quote me calling the other members total cocks. I more or less said it there except I didn't want to get myself banned. And as I promised cunnilingus here it is. The word, anyway. How can you get it off a screen?
I made my planned trip to Golders Green to take pictures of people at bus stops, the current project inspired by my Flickr groups, and collected a nice little bunch. We also got our new updated interactive TV service today and amazingly after missing Dr Who over the weekend due to a programme overload they had it on catch up TV and I managed to see it after all, which was pretty amazing as it was the first time the service was introduced after I needed to use it. I like it when things like that happen.
Then on the way home tonight I hear Talk Sport radio just introduced a premium rate phone number to cost the average caller a few quid every time they call. I went on the forum and the thick spastics were moaning because the new fucking number didn't rhyme!
Now the only reason arseholes like Talk Sport (Rupert Murdoch) do this is because the average Brit is a stupid wanker that doesn't know their arse from their elbow. We have our share of intellectuals and bright sparks but visit the average pub and you'll see what I mean. These guys will be potential callers and when they get their phone bill (if they bother to look) will then realise what apparently only I knew the second I heard it. That is why prices generally are so high here, as people pay them. Two garages up the road from each other, one charges 20p a gallon more and the expensive one regularly has a queue. People are cretins. So why do they moan the rare times they realise they've been exploited? If they haven't the brains to compare two garages on the same road and choose the expensive one, even when they have to wait 10 minutes, the clever people will rob them until the day they die and it'll be their own stupid faults. It's not the same as leaving a phone on a table and expecting it to be nicked as theft isn't the free market. It's seeing two identical products at different prices and choosing the expensive at random, or taking the time between a phone call and the resulting bill before discovering a premium rate number exchange.
Just for the record, any starting 09 will cost an arm and a leg, and 087 a few fingers. 07s are pretty mean as well, especially the 070 ones. Expect to lose a testicle (for men) and a pair of nipples (for women) if any business has one of those. They rely totally on people not learning a few simple 3 figure prefixes (as the rest of the number won't affect the price) and not checking the bills after to see why a half hour call cost them 3 quid. I am considering this time not even listening to Talk Sport, after not calling for months the last time they tried something like that. But being in Britain people will rent their kids out for prostitution if Tony Blair tells them to. They trust authority and the authorities (who don't share their stupidity but equal it with evilness) take full advantage of it. I can't raise anyone's IQ but we can all raise people's awareness.
Anyone who wishes to can add their view here once registered as a user.
http://forum.talkforum.org/viewtopic.php?t=16738
and don't be scared to quote me calling the other members total cocks. I more or less said it there except I didn't want to get myself banned. And as I promised cunnilingus here it is. The word, anyway. How can you get it off a screen?
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Life goes on
Life seems to be returning after an absence. Why it takes a death to reunite us with our friends and family is a sad reflection on British cold and uncaring society where each person gets on with their life until they need you.
So the death has reunited many friends of a lifetime with the family of the bereaved and restarted many halted friendships as people were reminded they still existed.
I have cleared the latest work obligations for the time being, and besides one late appointment hope to blitz Golders Green tomorrow with my camera. Until I left the area I never appreciated it besides the people I knew there, but when you are pushed into average suburbia you notice the difference compared to the truly affluent. Face it, most places are a dump, certainly in Britain. Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester, Bristol, all have miles of what in London we'd call slums but for there are perfectly normal. I hear some of these cities have some nice areas but in all the circuits I've made around Liverpool can only say they've hidden them pretty well. Imagine spreading Harlesden across a 10 mile diameter or more and this is what these places are like. And no wonder most Brits are so miserable having to look at such dreary views all their lives.
Otherwise my media progress has made its little jump at last, and have a 4th date to film pencilled in the same time my 3rd showing has been. Women are however not so positive and the single female friend around has been unable to hook up with me the last few phone calls as each time one of us couldn't talk. I hope she is calling for the same reason I would but will have to wait to find out. Meanwhile I'm still looking round blogger.com to see how other blogs can be found and will ask them although they tend to use automated replies if you email which means there is probably no one there to answer actual correspondence. Otherwise the sites wouldn't be free to use so I can't really complain as I pay for two sites now which I really rather wouldn't. And having had one comment in 2 months here would be very unlikely to waste money apparently talking to myself.
I now hope the large amount of new supernatural evidence I've heard recently allows me to use them more and experience them for myself. Enough people have reported bilocating while the person they visited said they had been seen while also in another place. These sort of double viewings can't be dismissed as if you have a witness in both locations who say the person is present it can't really be faked as although you know where the physical body is you won't know where the etheric will project, the projector rarely knows either, so can return and say 'I visited X', and you then call X and ask if they saw anyone in their room, and many say they did, often calling first to ask what they were doing walking into their bedroom. Ghosts are far more likely to be bilocated living people as remote viewers have been collated over many years accurately describing locations worldwide, and if you are that way inclined you don't just send your awareness there but an image of your body made of visible light energy. Just because these events are rare means a handful have actually witnessed them so few even realise it's possible, but as it's my mission to learn about it I seek them out and trust the few I've heard.
On a final note I am batting away social invitations at the moment which have come in a pack like the old 26 buses did along Finchley Road, as my tiredness doesn't permit normal arrangements yet and they'll just have to wait unless sex is involved/offered. I'll come out of my hole for that but little else besides the TV cameras at the moment. Suits me.
So the death has reunited many friends of a lifetime with the family of the bereaved and restarted many halted friendships as people were reminded they still existed.
I have cleared the latest work obligations for the time being, and besides one late appointment hope to blitz Golders Green tomorrow with my camera. Until I left the area I never appreciated it besides the people I knew there, but when you are pushed into average suburbia you notice the difference compared to the truly affluent. Face it, most places are a dump, certainly in Britain. Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester, Bristol, all have miles of what in London we'd call slums but for there are perfectly normal. I hear some of these cities have some nice areas but in all the circuits I've made around Liverpool can only say they've hidden them pretty well. Imagine spreading Harlesden across a 10 mile diameter or more and this is what these places are like. And no wonder most Brits are so miserable having to look at such dreary views all their lives.
Otherwise my media progress has made its little jump at last, and have a 4th date to film pencilled in the same time my 3rd showing has been. Women are however not so positive and the single female friend around has been unable to hook up with me the last few phone calls as each time one of us couldn't talk. I hope she is calling for the same reason I would but will have to wait to find out. Meanwhile I'm still looking round blogger.com to see how other blogs can be found and will ask them although they tend to use automated replies if you email which means there is probably no one there to answer actual correspondence. Otherwise the sites wouldn't be free to use so I can't really complain as I pay for two sites now which I really rather wouldn't. And having had one comment in 2 months here would be very unlikely to waste money apparently talking to myself.
I now hope the large amount of new supernatural evidence I've heard recently allows me to use them more and experience them for myself. Enough people have reported bilocating while the person they visited said they had been seen while also in another place. These sort of double viewings can't be dismissed as if you have a witness in both locations who say the person is present it can't really be faked as although you know where the physical body is you won't know where the etheric will project, the projector rarely knows either, so can return and say 'I visited X', and you then call X and ask if they saw anyone in their room, and many say they did, often calling first to ask what they were doing walking into their bedroom. Ghosts are far more likely to be bilocated living people as remote viewers have been collated over many years accurately describing locations worldwide, and if you are that way inclined you don't just send your awareness there but an image of your body made of visible light energy. Just because these events are rare means a handful have actually witnessed them so few even realise it's possible, but as it's my mission to learn about it I seek them out and trust the few I've heard.
On a final note I am batting away social invitations at the moment which have come in a pack like the old 26 buses did along Finchley Road, as my tiredness doesn't permit normal arrangements yet and they'll just have to wait unless sex is involved/offered. I'll come out of my hole for that but little else besides the TV cameras at the moment. Suits me.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Real life
Strangely, regardless of other circumstances, real life seems to have returned this week. At the prayers after the funeral of our oldest friend's father I saw my past. The family were the centre of my social life from birth, and most of the people I knew were somehow connected with them. So despite London as it is having few if any communities I found myself back in the only one I had outside Devon, which was my summer community till 1989.
However long it had been since I saw anyone, a few years back to about 25, they were all part of my life and vice versa, and shared many memories going back as long as we could remember. So despite a large gap that continuity at least will carry on.
Yesterday I also met a neighbour from 4 doors away, except he left in 1955 and returned for a few days from Australia after 40 years away, and turned out we had a lot in common as well as our roots- I lived in the road opposite until I was 5 from 1960-1965. And he has revived some of my faith in the supernatural, with some reports showing he is clearly at one of the highest developed levels. I mix in those circles and rarely meet anyone like that, including the pros- they are in the main just good at talking and selling and I'm as psychic as many of them. The really good ones tend to be working quietly and rarely get any media attention. Peter Walker was one, and Geoff Boltwood who actively avoids publicity (sorry Geoff!) is another. Uri Geller has the personality but also the ability to probably imitate all the tricks he claims to do, and even he admits they may not be genuine at times. It's very simple to me, I either witness it for myself or don't believe, like anything else.
Big Brother (sister?) is now on, and as would happen I had to record the opening night as I was at the prayers, and heard the lot on the radio in the car home before I saw the tape. All women? I think they are beginning to realise what I already knew, same sex groups become very dull after a short time and however much many claim to dislike men few will not be missing them by now. It's not natural. I spent 3 years at a boy's school and my parents really should have known better than send me there. Just because half of them ended up at Oxford or Cambridge isn't the only point. I bet there are enough with mental problems as well, although I can't prove it. Will Self was one who did the usual route, school, Cambridge and media success, although from all my 7 or so schools I kept up less with the people there than any others, mainly as apart from a few I didn't get on with them. And the few on friends reunited didn't reply besides one I was never friendly with who invited me to America. How people can change. OK, I did correspond with a few but nothing compared to the other places.
Besides a dodgy appointment on Tuesday I have cleared the diary for this week, and unless a disaster falls will now finally be on TV again (3rd speaking role) next month. With the biggest audience so far. That is so important as the media career is the one thing that has improved in recent years, with my health, love and social life almost disappearing. I have a couple of extra TV ideas, and have saved up a summary of a walking tour of North London I want to try and get off the ground. With agoraphobic tendencies making a programme that gets me to walk around familiar roads is also very good therapy. Chronic fatigue was the real killer though and that's nothing to do with phobias, just stops you doing very much. On the mend now but I really have to limit my activities so far to one at a time. It does mean a lot more housework gets done though which is pretty useful.
I am now off to see what photographic gems I can see in NW11 on the way out, someone just posted a few classics in my local photo group which I had missed so it proves it can still be done. If they had to find one I'd put the new centre of London right in the middle of Finchley Road, Temple Fortune. Then you could watch the news on CNN in America and see them say 'And here's the news from Finchley Road'. We'd be on the map at last! It's the centre of my London already though.
However long it had been since I saw anyone, a few years back to about 25, they were all part of my life and vice versa, and shared many memories going back as long as we could remember. So despite a large gap that continuity at least will carry on.
Yesterday I also met a neighbour from 4 doors away, except he left in 1955 and returned for a few days from Australia after 40 years away, and turned out we had a lot in common as well as our roots- I lived in the road opposite until I was 5 from 1960-1965. And he has revived some of my faith in the supernatural, with some reports showing he is clearly at one of the highest developed levels. I mix in those circles and rarely meet anyone like that, including the pros- they are in the main just good at talking and selling and I'm as psychic as many of them. The really good ones tend to be working quietly and rarely get any media attention. Peter Walker was one, and Geoff Boltwood who actively avoids publicity (sorry Geoff!) is another. Uri Geller has the personality but also the ability to probably imitate all the tricks he claims to do, and even he admits they may not be genuine at times. It's very simple to me, I either witness it for myself or don't believe, like anything else.
Big Brother (sister?) is now on, and as would happen I had to record the opening night as I was at the prayers, and heard the lot on the radio in the car home before I saw the tape. All women? I think they are beginning to realise what I already knew, same sex groups become very dull after a short time and however much many claim to dislike men few will not be missing them by now. It's not natural. I spent 3 years at a boy's school and my parents really should have known better than send me there. Just because half of them ended up at Oxford or Cambridge isn't the only point. I bet there are enough with mental problems as well, although I can't prove it. Will Self was one who did the usual route, school, Cambridge and media success, although from all my 7 or so schools I kept up less with the people there than any others, mainly as apart from a few I didn't get on with them. And the few on friends reunited didn't reply besides one I was never friendly with who invited me to America. How people can change. OK, I did correspond with a few but nothing compared to the other places.
Besides a dodgy appointment on Tuesday I have cleared the diary for this week, and unless a disaster falls will now finally be on TV again (3rd speaking role) next month. With the biggest audience so far. That is so important as the media career is the one thing that has improved in recent years, with my health, love and social life almost disappearing. I have a couple of extra TV ideas, and have saved up a summary of a walking tour of North London I want to try and get off the ground. With agoraphobic tendencies making a programme that gets me to walk around familiar roads is also very good therapy. Chronic fatigue was the real killer though and that's nothing to do with phobias, just stops you doing very much. On the mend now but I really have to limit my activities so far to one at a time. It does mean a lot more housework gets done though which is pretty useful.
I am now off to see what photographic gems I can see in NW11 on the way out, someone just posted a few classics in my local photo group which I had missed so it proves it can still be done. If they had to find one I'd put the new centre of London right in the middle of Finchley Road, Temple Fortune. Then you could watch the news on CNN in America and see them say 'And here's the news from Finchley Road'. We'd be on the map at last! It's the centre of my London already though.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Progress possibly
In the last couple of days I've had not only more evidence of remote viewing, but stories from people I know (rather than from books) about seeing the future and being protected from disaster that hadn't yet happened. All this paints a picture of a world quite different from what it appears, the problem being the higher level only appears to most once in a blue moon against a background of banal normality.
We have choices, but given in order to learn which is the right one, and suffer the consequences to avoid us making them again, like enjoying yourself when studying for a degree. These are the self created problems, my only beef being the severity of consequences I would probably have changed without such loud messages. For instance suffering for months rather than hours from a poor decision doesn't teach you any more. You realised your mistake so extending the punishment is more earthly than heavenly. If you create a system (assuming a creator) why make the system tougher than it needs to be?
On the other sides, I still see what could be called piles of manure in the road ahead, and am either ploughing right through or round them when I can find a way. Until this week there was little pleasure to balance, but if my TV programme is on after all that is my good news. After today the only crap ahead is the tax inspection which was delayed for a few weeks and not by me. Crap that I know of anyway. I am realising my reluctance to go out is a physical thing as well, as recovering from chronic fatigue I am using the effort to go round a few shops it would have taken for a day at work. I am limited by my energy and that is low. My brain works perfectly though so I take it back home and create. Photo prints, essays, discussions, networking, all from here. I have visitors, do psychic research and meditate.
Typically Big Brother starts tonight and I have to go out so am recording it, I just hope it works as seeing the new arrivals is a unique programme and sets you up for the rest of the series. My priorities may be all fucked up but they work for me. Meanwhile I see other people running around going out to cinemas, meals and meetings and wonder how I ever managed them myself. I am now able to do limited activities for about an hour and then return home. Better than nothing for sure and it's a lesson not to feel inadequate as a couple of years ago (with the help of tablets I can no longer take) I was like that as well, though not like 20 years earlier. As so much going out is driven not by interest but boredom I see a virtue there, as I'm content nowadays at home, especially with friends or family. I may well have experienced more than the current people my age travelling the world as I crammed it all in to about the first 25 years. Making the lists I am still probably ahead on theatres cinemas and football matches as I used to blitz them when I was interested, and still do with the football health permitting. 4 games in 5 days I think is my record. Driving 50 miles on a Saturday to see a new ground and then drive home was actually good fun and I always bought a little souvenir from the club shops if open, and have a teddy from Southend, a ruler from Oxford, a car from Wycombe and had I not thrown it an empty paper cup from Reading. My version of tourism.
I think the delayed high from last year from the TV programme will carry me along for a while as at the time it was the only thing keeping me sane, was then removed so I had to survive unarmed, and have now got it back. Until you're enlightened you can only get most of your pleasure from outside, and that's how it's designed to work or we'd never bother to do anything. Once you've worn out these avenues (women excepted) you work on inner pleasure as I did in 1996. OK, I'm still waiting, but trying legal drugs which only ended me up in a & e were my only attempt to speed the process. Bad move, seen the error and never again. Many try and many fail that route, not worth the risk but I was desperate and totally uninformed. I suppose the fact LSD was unavailable at the time is one help as people can live with that for life after one trip. Soon after I was offered some and said I'd already tried that route and stopped. Good timing there at least, it may enlighten a few people, and drive the others insane.
Well, that's the news from NW9, it's a relief to have net access but hope the laptop is fixed so I can keep the quizzes up over the weekend. But I still have to look at the cheese and not the holes. Not always that easy. But nothing wrong with a good hole either.
We have choices, but given in order to learn which is the right one, and suffer the consequences to avoid us making them again, like enjoying yourself when studying for a degree. These are the self created problems, my only beef being the severity of consequences I would probably have changed without such loud messages. For instance suffering for months rather than hours from a poor decision doesn't teach you any more. You realised your mistake so extending the punishment is more earthly than heavenly. If you create a system (assuming a creator) why make the system tougher than it needs to be?
On the other sides, I still see what could be called piles of manure in the road ahead, and am either ploughing right through or round them when I can find a way. Until this week there was little pleasure to balance, but if my TV programme is on after all that is my good news. After today the only crap ahead is the tax inspection which was delayed for a few weeks and not by me. Crap that I know of anyway. I am realising my reluctance to go out is a physical thing as well, as recovering from chronic fatigue I am using the effort to go round a few shops it would have taken for a day at work. I am limited by my energy and that is low. My brain works perfectly though so I take it back home and create. Photo prints, essays, discussions, networking, all from here. I have visitors, do psychic research and meditate.
Typically Big Brother starts tonight and I have to go out so am recording it, I just hope it works as seeing the new arrivals is a unique programme and sets you up for the rest of the series. My priorities may be all fucked up but they work for me. Meanwhile I see other people running around going out to cinemas, meals and meetings and wonder how I ever managed them myself. I am now able to do limited activities for about an hour and then return home. Better than nothing for sure and it's a lesson not to feel inadequate as a couple of years ago (with the help of tablets I can no longer take) I was like that as well, though not like 20 years earlier. As so much going out is driven not by interest but boredom I see a virtue there, as I'm content nowadays at home, especially with friends or family. I may well have experienced more than the current people my age travelling the world as I crammed it all in to about the first 25 years. Making the lists I am still probably ahead on theatres cinemas and football matches as I used to blitz them when I was interested, and still do with the football health permitting. 4 games in 5 days I think is my record. Driving 50 miles on a Saturday to see a new ground and then drive home was actually good fun and I always bought a little souvenir from the club shops if open, and have a teddy from Southend, a ruler from Oxford, a car from Wycombe and had I not thrown it an empty paper cup from Reading. My version of tourism.
I think the delayed high from last year from the TV programme will carry me along for a while as at the time it was the only thing keeping me sane, was then removed so I had to survive unarmed, and have now got it back. Until you're enlightened you can only get most of your pleasure from outside, and that's how it's designed to work or we'd never bother to do anything. Once you've worn out these avenues (women excepted) you work on inner pleasure as I did in 1996. OK, I'm still waiting, but trying legal drugs which only ended me up in a & e were my only attempt to speed the process. Bad move, seen the error and never again. Many try and many fail that route, not worth the risk but I was desperate and totally uninformed. I suppose the fact LSD was unavailable at the time is one help as people can live with that for life after one trip. Soon after I was offered some and said I'd already tried that route and stopped. Good timing there at least, it may enlighten a few people, and drive the others insane.
Well, that's the news from NW9, it's a relief to have net access but hope the laptop is fixed so I can keep the quizzes up over the weekend. But I still have to look at the cheese and not the holes. Not always that easy. But nothing wrong with a good hole either.
A trip round the supernatural.
Despite having sod all to report (rain and shit) I've been challenged to return, plus my laptop lost its internet connection so couldn't get on over the weekend.
So what can I say? There are a few shafts of light mainly the announcement my 3rd TV appearance appears on now, July 7th. Watch this space once I see it in writing on the schedule. That was really a relief. It's not only a third of my total speaking parts but on a channel with 10 times more viewers than the other two. I have also taken a pile of photos in Mill Hill, partly inspired by a request to add a pond photo I just took to their group, and realised there were many ponds in Mill Hill. So from running out of ideas I ended up with many new pictures besides the usual buses and a nice view of the M1 from the shopping centre.
Besides that and the rain and freezing weather (when it reached 4' last night my boiler went off) life is pretty routine. I am now more convinced in more psychic powers than I was, although that doesn't affect my immediate life. My grandma told a story of their friend's brother who went to a medium, and their mother said she had an argument with his wife, she pulled her hair and she kept it in a drawer. He went and looked and there it was. Now after a 16 year career as a researcher this hardly surprises me as all information can be tuned into, but is one of the clearest pieces of evidence if one message is good then however rare it is a reality. We can all do it, just some better than others and need practice like any other talent.
Now I just read a very sad philosophical description of existentialism, describing the universe as a cold hostile place and we're on our own here. Now this is surely the impression it gives, but the psychic messages we get contradict some of the view as we can't be alone. But all the information and help I get is neutral, doesn't improve life but just means we can see more. More of the same crap basically. God, love and all that isn't really evident as the true current behind everything. Even a few enlightened people I met say it's no better when they are aware of their true natures, just accurate. Many say it is better but I wonder what the deal is if some claim it to be just a different view of the same things.
I'm still scanning blogger to find other blogs but all I find are the editor's choices, none tagged or linked by interest. So all these labels we add here appear to be totally pointless so I just summarise mine with a few variations as my subjects rarely vary.
On a final note no internet allows me to meditate again, and that is the only positive route I know of. Had my move been in miles rather than millimetres since I started I'd be a very happy person by now. It works by moving us towards feeling pleasure and grows with use. Some eventually feel it constantly and have basically become enlightened, one of who I met who reached that level through a different method to mine. But they all work as others have as well as mine for me. But slow is the word and before I cut down I did it daily for well over 2 years but little happened except for the odd go. I know what it can do but rarely actually get there, and know if I don't do it I can't any other way. And it's not dependent on life outside or anything else, just a way to feel good which is something we can all do naturally as we are designed to. How nature designed us to not feel something unless a teacher tells us how is one of life's mysteries I can't start to understand, but am glad whoever discovered it did and then told me. After my qualifications that was the most important course I did, and the others are business, this was the best pleasure one. It was a weekly hour video for at least 5 months, but as the teacher didn't come here more than every year I had to wait about 15 as the first time I hadn't done my quota. Then a one or two evening selection process where they check you understood the course and then a weekend course (in Brighton Centre for us) to see him talk one day and teach the methods the next. Despite little sleep that was one of the proudest days of my life. For over a year knowledge, as it is called, was the most important thing in my life and now I'd sat in a big armchair and within 2 hours knew what it was. I've 'been there' for a few minutes or so a number of times, so will carry on doing it for life, and hope one day I break through like so many others to the higher levels. And it's not even practice, people often get there quickly but it may not last. Beyond me to fathom out, I just persist and hope.
So what can I say? There are a few shafts of light mainly the announcement my 3rd TV appearance appears on now, July 7th. Watch this space once I see it in writing on the schedule. That was really a relief. It's not only a third of my total speaking parts but on a channel with 10 times more viewers than the other two. I have also taken a pile of photos in Mill Hill, partly inspired by a request to add a pond photo I just took to their group, and realised there were many ponds in Mill Hill. So from running out of ideas I ended up with many new pictures besides the usual buses and a nice view of the M1 from the shopping centre.
Besides that and the rain and freezing weather (when it reached 4' last night my boiler went off) life is pretty routine. I am now more convinced in more psychic powers than I was, although that doesn't affect my immediate life. My grandma told a story of their friend's brother who went to a medium, and their mother said she had an argument with his wife, she pulled her hair and she kept it in a drawer. He went and looked and there it was. Now after a 16 year career as a researcher this hardly surprises me as all information can be tuned into, but is one of the clearest pieces of evidence if one message is good then however rare it is a reality. We can all do it, just some better than others and need practice like any other talent.
Now I just read a very sad philosophical description of existentialism, describing the universe as a cold hostile place and we're on our own here. Now this is surely the impression it gives, but the psychic messages we get contradict some of the view as we can't be alone. But all the information and help I get is neutral, doesn't improve life but just means we can see more. More of the same crap basically. God, love and all that isn't really evident as the true current behind everything. Even a few enlightened people I met say it's no better when they are aware of their true natures, just accurate. Many say it is better but I wonder what the deal is if some claim it to be just a different view of the same things.
I'm still scanning blogger to find other blogs but all I find are the editor's choices, none tagged or linked by interest. So all these labels we add here appear to be totally pointless so I just summarise mine with a few variations as my subjects rarely vary.
On a final note no internet allows me to meditate again, and that is the only positive route I know of. Had my move been in miles rather than millimetres since I started I'd be a very happy person by now. It works by moving us towards feeling pleasure and grows with use. Some eventually feel it constantly and have basically become enlightened, one of who I met who reached that level through a different method to mine. But they all work as others have as well as mine for me. But slow is the word and before I cut down I did it daily for well over 2 years but little happened except for the odd go. I know what it can do but rarely actually get there, and know if I don't do it I can't any other way. And it's not dependent on life outside or anything else, just a way to feel good which is something we can all do naturally as we are designed to. How nature designed us to not feel something unless a teacher tells us how is one of life's mysteries I can't start to understand, but am glad whoever discovered it did and then told me. After my qualifications that was the most important course I did, and the others are business, this was the best pleasure one. It was a weekly hour video for at least 5 months, but as the teacher didn't come here more than every year I had to wait about 15 as the first time I hadn't done my quota. Then a one or two evening selection process where they check you understood the course and then a weekend course (in Brighton Centre for us) to see him talk one day and teach the methods the next. Despite little sleep that was one of the proudest days of my life. For over a year knowledge, as it is called, was the most important thing in my life and now I'd sat in a big armchair and within 2 hours knew what it was. I've 'been there' for a few minutes or so a number of times, so will carry on doing it for life, and hope one day I break through like so many others to the higher levels. And it's not even practice, people often get there quickly but it may not last. Beyond me to fathom out, I just persist and hope.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Home truths
Besides the last news on not only synchronicity but for the first time someone appeared to be having a conversation with someone who is dead. This totally shakes every belief I have, and add to that the scientific proof people can apparently see the future plus these coincidences mean what we see as random free will is actually arranged from a higher level.
The trouble is the actual details of the life guided by these principles is mainly cack at the moment. I get bits and pieces of good in among a background of darkness. I have just been on the phone to a live example of transcending our suffering as he has a natural ability to overcome pain and related suffering by telling himself it isn't that bad. That could be taught to others and save the medical profession a lot of work. It's a rare ability and one that is a high yogic achievement and of course some people have these things naturally. I have my own but it doesn't include immunity to anything besides anger. Not having much anger means others can see life can be lived without it, and it really isn't a necessary emotion. No use to me really and if it comes it goes very quickly.
Today was almost wasted, I didn't sleep for ages so got up later than usual and besides cut the front lawn used the spare time to almost do nothing. There's a bit of time for more, I also saw the European Cup final on TV which was almost as exciting as the semi finals, and more than the FA cup final, and now I'm back here telling everyone just how little I did. Naturally doing nothing in a family is fun, it only sucks when you're on your own. I found many people who go out and away a lot are so bored at home they try and find excitement that way. I have in the past but agoraphobia aside am now at 47 perfectly content in an environment I spent years creating, and have done enough exploring to find whatever's out there isn't as clever as here. A representative sample of events, countries and other activities, and now my focus is on spiritual development and creation, all of which can be done right here.
As Maharaji says, people travel across the world to find enlightenment when the whole time it's always been within them. You can be right where you are and do the right thing, where you are is irrelevant and any problems always follow you across the universe, as when I found I had to resit half my first year exams when away, I still had to do it and couldn't escape the realities of life by being elsewhere. Better to fix your problems and not care about runnig around once you've checked it all out. I also had the chance to blitz every aspect of entertainment by 20, living in London when everything was very cheap. In the end I switched from the cinemas and theatres and discos to football and psychic events. And whatever my family think this was not where I met friends and partners, just learnt things. So my conclusion is once you're content where you are no one (girlfriends in particular) shouldn't condemn you for doing so, as how many people are actually happy in and around home? Not that many I suspect.
The trouble is the actual details of the life guided by these principles is mainly cack at the moment. I get bits and pieces of good in among a background of darkness. I have just been on the phone to a live example of transcending our suffering as he has a natural ability to overcome pain and related suffering by telling himself it isn't that bad. That could be taught to others and save the medical profession a lot of work. It's a rare ability and one that is a high yogic achievement and of course some people have these things naturally. I have my own but it doesn't include immunity to anything besides anger. Not having much anger means others can see life can be lived without it, and it really isn't a necessary emotion. No use to me really and if it comes it goes very quickly.
Today was almost wasted, I didn't sleep for ages so got up later than usual and besides cut the front lawn used the spare time to almost do nothing. There's a bit of time for more, I also saw the European Cup final on TV which was almost as exciting as the semi finals, and more than the FA cup final, and now I'm back here telling everyone just how little I did. Naturally doing nothing in a family is fun, it only sucks when you're on your own. I found many people who go out and away a lot are so bored at home they try and find excitement that way. I have in the past but agoraphobia aside am now at 47 perfectly content in an environment I spent years creating, and have done enough exploring to find whatever's out there isn't as clever as here. A representative sample of events, countries and other activities, and now my focus is on spiritual development and creation, all of which can be done right here.
As Maharaji says, people travel across the world to find enlightenment when the whole time it's always been within them. You can be right where you are and do the right thing, where you are is irrelevant and any problems always follow you across the universe, as when I found I had to resit half my first year exams when away, I still had to do it and couldn't escape the realities of life by being elsewhere. Better to fix your problems and not care about runnig around once you've checked it all out. I also had the chance to blitz every aspect of entertainment by 20, living in London when everything was very cheap. In the end I switched from the cinemas and theatres and discos to football and psychic events. And whatever my family think this was not where I met friends and partners, just learnt things. So my conclusion is once you're content where you are no one (girlfriends in particular) shouldn't condemn you for doing so, as how many people are actually happy in and around home? Not that many I suspect.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Supernatural events
I was about to carry on talking bollocks as that's all there was, but having just at last been caught up in a psychic web at least that was the first message for a very long time the system is still there despite whatever crap it's been turning up lately. OK, it wasn't all crap, I have a few nice female friends but with the ones I like no physical contact, extend back to around 1983 and you get the picture.
The psychic stuff is another level of the highest type of phenomena I've found, coincidence. My friend has been hiding since his divorce, and I decided it was time I phoned him after not speaking directly for over a year. He said 'you got my message' when I called. No, what message? After well over a year he just left a message asking me to call him back. And what about? He'd just wanted someone they knew to call his mother after losing touch a few years ago and the same day she did. Then I did in response to a call about the same thing happening, only it was a coincidence.
This is how life fits together, there seems a time for things to happen somehow, and even my poor health slowed me down but didn't stop me and made me test my friend's understanding when I was slow or incapable. That's little better after a good week as the ear problem returns like Ken Livingstone (our local curse of a politician) and I'm not quite sure which is easier to get rid of. The final element was he'd had a psychic reading where the first name and second initial of my stepfather came in and he was described exactly as he was with every detail correct, some which he didn't know until I confirmed it. These things freak new experiencers out, especially unbelievers, and although I expect clairvoyance now coincidences have just begun to feel normal to me as they are a part of what I consider normal life now.
Whether there's a point, lesson or good in them I have yet to see. I have survived every assault of germs and neighbours (don't ask) or I wouldn't be here now, but so much needs sorting out in my life which is either beyond my means to arrange or I've already done what I can and have to wait.
The week ahead (so far) is clear, same as the last one was really, and so far the same sort of plans as there's nothing better and my health can limit the scope as well. So I work my way round London NW11, finding more and more details, rather than look to places unknown just because I've done everywhere else. Or known and not worth taking. I was pleased I made something from such pearls as Willesden and Acton, but there's really nowhere clever left. Swiss Cottage possibly, but Kentish Town, Southgate, Barnet and all places beyond are as photogenic in the main as Cherie Blair but less intriguing. I just read a few comments about her somewhere else and if nothing else that face sure generates interest. All the money in the world can't change that... But we all have a cross to bear, including those who don't, who tend to imagine it. I've already described mine, which put me at the 'has to try extremely hard' level of life for good, until you get married anyhow.
Last week was almost free of earache for a change, so it had to come back yesterday, although as I said I don't stop living with these problems, just seem to do it differently. But who wants pain and dizziness? But whatever lessons I may need to learn and changes make they need a little less to generate them. Why suffer to be a better person anyway? Well, I still see around 10 people a day visiting here, so thank you for your persistence, I suspect I know who left the comment yesterday and they clearly have issues that are being transferred to me by projection. No idea what their problem is, but it certainly isn't shared by me. That site has kept me going for much of the last 7 years and the only pratt or wally is the person who sent me the rude message there, and whether or not it's the same person the one who left the comment. Why these guys who know you choose to go anonymous when they know me is cowardly and pathetic, and at least it means some people have worse problems than me, mentally I mean. My mental is quite good now, just the physical.
The psychic stuff is another level of the highest type of phenomena I've found, coincidence. My friend has been hiding since his divorce, and I decided it was time I phoned him after not speaking directly for over a year. He said 'you got my message' when I called. No, what message? After well over a year he just left a message asking me to call him back. And what about? He'd just wanted someone they knew to call his mother after losing touch a few years ago and the same day she did. Then I did in response to a call about the same thing happening, only it was a coincidence.
This is how life fits together, there seems a time for things to happen somehow, and even my poor health slowed me down but didn't stop me and made me test my friend's understanding when I was slow or incapable. That's little better after a good week as the ear problem returns like Ken Livingstone (our local curse of a politician) and I'm not quite sure which is easier to get rid of. The final element was he'd had a psychic reading where the first name and second initial of my stepfather came in and he was described exactly as he was with every detail correct, some which he didn't know until I confirmed it. These things freak new experiencers out, especially unbelievers, and although I expect clairvoyance now coincidences have just begun to feel normal to me as they are a part of what I consider normal life now.
Whether there's a point, lesson or good in them I have yet to see. I have survived every assault of germs and neighbours (don't ask) or I wouldn't be here now, but so much needs sorting out in my life which is either beyond my means to arrange or I've already done what I can and have to wait.
The week ahead (so far) is clear, same as the last one was really, and so far the same sort of plans as there's nothing better and my health can limit the scope as well. So I work my way round London NW11, finding more and more details, rather than look to places unknown just because I've done everywhere else. Or known and not worth taking. I was pleased I made something from such pearls as Willesden and Acton, but there's really nowhere clever left. Swiss Cottage possibly, but Kentish Town, Southgate, Barnet and all places beyond are as photogenic in the main as Cherie Blair but less intriguing. I just read a few comments about her somewhere else and if nothing else that face sure generates interest. All the money in the world can't change that... But we all have a cross to bear, including those who don't, who tend to imagine it. I've already described mine, which put me at the 'has to try extremely hard' level of life for good, until you get married anyhow.
Last week was almost free of earache for a change, so it had to come back yesterday, although as I said I don't stop living with these problems, just seem to do it differently. But who wants pain and dizziness? But whatever lessons I may need to learn and changes make they need a little less to generate them. Why suffer to be a better person anyway? Well, I still see around 10 people a day visiting here, so thank you for your persistence, I suspect I know who left the comment yesterday and they clearly have issues that are being transferred to me by projection. No idea what their problem is, but it certainly isn't shared by me. That site has kept me going for much of the last 7 years and the only pratt or wally is the person who sent me the rude message there, and whether or not it's the same person the one who left the comment. Why these guys who know you choose to go anonymous when they know me is cowardly and pathetic, and at least it means some people have worse problems than me, mentally I mean. My mental is quite good now, just the physical.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Another day, little changes
I have found by airing all my weird ideas here (and elsewhere) regardless of alienating many and looking like a self obsessed weirdo at least I've got this stuff out of the way and without paying a penny to a therapist. And for all the people accused or accusing people being too deep it's like calling someone too intelligent. You can be too shallow almost to the point of horizontal, but too deep? No way.
I just discovered I ordered (after being a lot more selective than usual) 207 new photos to be printed just now. I have been out 3 0r 4 times a week this year though and made plenty of new views of places known and unknown. Rather than spread myself further afield to undistinguished areas I'm finding smaller and smaller details between the ones I already take. So as people plant new gardens I have different places to see, and did a bunch of road name signs today, not just the sign but the area around them so you can see where the road actually is. The best was an old cast iron double, one above another, saying where it led to. These little things are what life is really about, we all live somewhere but not everyone takes much notice of the details or cares.
Non events, Gordon Brown will be our next Prime Minister. Like changing the name of 1 to 1 to T Mobile. We won't notice the difference. Or if Cameron the twat gets in for the only opposition either. Get rid of grammar schools- by the tories? Fuck me, they'll be promoting immigration next, oh bugger, they are. Talk about between a rock and a hard place. Either way you look the same crazy totalitarian and anti-British policies. Let the EU take us over. Allow anyone in you like with no limits (I think it was 400,000 illegal immigrants just allowed to stay, if my memory was right), and I expect Cameron will finally top it all by agreeing with road charging. If we ever needed a revolution the time is now. General strike, stop paying council tax, using cars and buying petrol. They'll miss us when we stop performing. Petrol costs so much as people don't shop around. The shmock selling it for 97.9 round the corner from 94.9 has just as many people queuing up as the other. So they try and add another penny and it's gone up about 7 in the last month with no economic reasons.
If we were to stop buying it for a few days they'd be stuck.
This week has been reasonably average, the job planned for yesterday was cancelled for a while and I did a bit of work, then started tidying the spare room at last. Lots left to do though. One booking today then to NW11 for more photos as planned, then came back and uploaded them all as usual. And then back in a circle to the order, which takes quite a long time, although I chose them earlier which was half the job. Tomorrow is free all day, if dry probably gardening, and no plans for photos unless something comes to me. Maybe carry on the tidying and who knows. The gap today was I literally spoke to no one. Not even a shop. Besides a couple of irritating people on the phone I've been like someone in solitary. Not good for the soul and nothing you can ever do will replace having another person around. Not even the chatroom I went in with a few stupid kids pretending they were talking to non existent people for half an hour which they thought was really funny. That was the standard. The photos were quite nice, although I realised whether it's raining or not I really can't be bothered to wait for buses to arrive at bus stops to show people getting on and off. If one comes along I'll take it but it's really not worth the effort to do it deliberately.
Unless I'm inspired I could be on the computer all day tomorrow if it rains, although there's nothing I need to look at there either. So many choices...
I just discovered I ordered (after being a lot more selective than usual) 207 new photos to be printed just now. I have been out 3 0r 4 times a week this year though and made plenty of new views of places known and unknown. Rather than spread myself further afield to undistinguished areas I'm finding smaller and smaller details between the ones I already take. So as people plant new gardens I have different places to see, and did a bunch of road name signs today, not just the sign but the area around them so you can see where the road actually is. The best was an old cast iron double, one above another, saying where it led to. These little things are what life is really about, we all live somewhere but not everyone takes much notice of the details or cares.
Non events, Gordon Brown will be our next Prime Minister. Like changing the name of 1 to 1 to T Mobile. We won't notice the difference. Or if Cameron the twat gets in for the only opposition either. Get rid of grammar schools- by the tories? Fuck me, they'll be promoting immigration next, oh bugger, they are. Talk about between a rock and a hard place. Either way you look the same crazy totalitarian and anti-British policies. Let the EU take us over. Allow anyone in you like with no limits (I think it was 400,000 illegal immigrants just allowed to stay, if my memory was right), and I expect Cameron will finally top it all by agreeing with road charging. If we ever needed a revolution the time is now. General strike, stop paying council tax, using cars and buying petrol. They'll miss us when we stop performing. Petrol costs so much as people don't shop around. The shmock selling it for 97.9 round the corner from 94.9 has just as many people queuing up as the other. So they try and add another penny and it's gone up about 7 in the last month with no economic reasons.
If we were to stop buying it for a few days they'd be stuck.
This week has been reasonably average, the job planned for yesterday was cancelled for a while and I did a bit of work, then started tidying the spare room at last. Lots left to do though. One booking today then to NW11 for more photos as planned, then came back and uploaded them all as usual. And then back in a circle to the order, which takes quite a long time, although I chose them earlier which was half the job. Tomorrow is free all day, if dry probably gardening, and no plans for photos unless something comes to me. Maybe carry on the tidying and who knows. The gap today was I literally spoke to no one. Not even a shop. Besides a couple of irritating people on the phone I've been like someone in solitary. Not good for the soul and nothing you can ever do will replace having another person around. Not even the chatroom I went in with a few stupid kids pretending they were talking to non existent people for half an hour which they thought was really funny. That was the standard. The photos were quite nice, although I realised whether it's raining or not I really can't be bothered to wait for buses to arrive at bus stops to show people getting on and off. If one comes along I'll take it but it's really not worth the effort to do it deliberately.
Unless I'm inspired I could be on the computer all day tomorrow if it rains, although there's nothing I need to look at there either. So many choices...
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Who came first?
I always knew she reminded me of someone. Billie Piper b 1982 Tiddler the Riddler born 1986.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
I've been
Where do I start? Slowly things are beginning to be done and I'm still seeing pretty clear connections all around, in the form of bunches of similar events. It does make life more interesting and challenge every aspect of science which seems to limit our scope and ability to progress in life. I think all the news as such was in the last entry, and since then I've been back taking some very nice photos though I say it myself, road signs, gardens and a block of shops with a huge name on it. The number of details you notice when you go up every street in turn is quite fascinating. There's little point going to distant or foreign areas as I know most places beyond the existing scope and there are only a few worth visiting, and I will sooner or later. Swiss Cottage station is a real carsey from outside though a massive subway system underneath. I was asked to join 2 Harrow groups but besides the station it's not very photogenic, the Hill is the best part but well photographed already and not as good as where I went so far.
It's satisfying to have got so many crap jobs out of the way in one go, and shown I was up to it. One of our staff just went crazy at Funtrivia so a few cobwebs have been blown away as a result and the few of us left are having to pick up the pieces. It was someone I never really rated as well over the top, and by the look of it finally lost his pieces. The only drama via a computer and thousands of miles, but drama nonetheless. I'm back trawling blogs and have seen a few new visitors although no comments. If anyone actually knows how people on blogspot are meant to keep in touch now the links are gone please let me know as London is only a small fraction of my lost audience.
No major plans now, one female friend (no more yet but friend for sure) and there is a chance it will extend further. I also saw the woman I was busy with at the gym at last, and sorted out the little issue I had to sort out, and am confident she doesn't go online so can say I'm still in love with her. No reason ever not to be, she brightens the whole place up and whatever it is she's got I need more of it, wherever it comes from.
Knowing one of the three possibly best women I know is still interested in me after 32 years is no practical use unless her boyfriend disappears and then somehow I found a way to bridge the 60 mile space between us. She'd never live with a man again so that wouldn't be the solution. If it could happen. But knowing she wanted me (in theory) and is as good as it could get I know I must have whatever is needed to do it elsewhere. Not many like her about though. The one in the gym is not in my standard mould. Looks wise she is but is what you can only call working class, with standard associated lifestyle. Lovely woman and otherwise perfect but someone who probably expects all their problems to be solved in the pub wouldn't last very long with me. You know how you can divide people into those who want to ask questions and those who don't care about the answers. They can never mix and never change. She at least has some questions which opened a door between the class wall that may have previously totally blocked any dialogue between us, but I'd already been showing her how to do crosswords (reluctantly I have to say, she would rather have gone off and had a fag or something, had she smoked) but when it comes to her I could probably devote a separate blog to her as when I think of her I'm happier.
I never mind if anyone reads what I say as it's all fair and honest, and if she read this at least I wouldn't have to wish she knew how I felt every time I saw her. Having a wife who wanted to go to bingo, the Costa Brava and the disco every bloody weekend would force her into an affair as if she went it wouldn't be with me. It would be a real Pygmalion relationship, me the teacher and father figure and she would be mixing with her own friends and society while I looked on at a distance from my study. I hear Des O'Connor had a son at about 73 so I shouldn't feel too old at my time of life, but would still rather be seen as a father not grandfather.
I wanted a family and kids as soon as I was free at 24, I dreamed about it and babysat since 16, with many glowing reports from the kids. But not even close to my own results. Any and all of my mental and physical problems could get in the way but they don't stop anyone. Criminals, psychotics, all have no shortage of kids. It's not a requirement to have all your marbles or limbs. In fact this odd government prefer people without faculties apparently as they are favoured over others for adoption, lottery grants and laws so I'd be in good company. OK, my poor kids would have to admit their father didn't have a job but at least that's one form of diversity I do want to promote as having a job is no big deal either way. Paying the bills is a big deal, how you do isn't important if no one gets hurt. And if you wanted to blame anyone, blame the youknowwhats that didn't give me a job when I was prepared to work, not me for never finding one. The longer you're out of it the less likely you'll want to get back in. The aristocracy know that better than anyone. Only plebs actually have to work for a living according to them. Pretty impractical but no one really looks down on them for not working through reason of millions in the bank.
It's satisfying to have got so many crap jobs out of the way in one go, and shown I was up to it. One of our staff just went crazy at Funtrivia so a few cobwebs have been blown away as a result and the few of us left are having to pick up the pieces. It was someone I never really rated as well over the top, and by the look of it finally lost his pieces. The only drama via a computer and thousands of miles, but drama nonetheless. I'm back trawling blogs and have seen a few new visitors although no comments. If anyone actually knows how people on blogspot are meant to keep in touch now the links are gone please let me know as London is only a small fraction of my lost audience.
No major plans now, one female friend (no more yet but friend for sure) and there is a chance it will extend further. I also saw the woman I was busy with at the gym at last, and sorted out the little issue I had to sort out, and am confident she doesn't go online so can say I'm still in love with her. No reason ever not to be, she brightens the whole place up and whatever it is she's got I need more of it, wherever it comes from.
Knowing one of the three possibly best women I know is still interested in me after 32 years is no practical use unless her boyfriend disappears and then somehow I found a way to bridge the 60 mile space between us. She'd never live with a man again so that wouldn't be the solution. If it could happen. But knowing she wanted me (in theory) and is as good as it could get I know I must have whatever is needed to do it elsewhere. Not many like her about though. The one in the gym is not in my standard mould. Looks wise she is but is what you can only call working class, with standard associated lifestyle. Lovely woman and otherwise perfect but someone who probably expects all their problems to be solved in the pub wouldn't last very long with me. You know how you can divide people into those who want to ask questions and those who don't care about the answers. They can never mix and never change. She at least has some questions which opened a door between the class wall that may have previously totally blocked any dialogue between us, but I'd already been showing her how to do crosswords (reluctantly I have to say, she would rather have gone off and had a fag or something, had she smoked) but when it comes to her I could probably devote a separate blog to her as when I think of her I'm happier.
I never mind if anyone reads what I say as it's all fair and honest, and if she read this at least I wouldn't have to wish she knew how I felt every time I saw her. Having a wife who wanted to go to bingo, the Costa Brava and the disco every bloody weekend would force her into an affair as if she went it wouldn't be with me. It would be a real Pygmalion relationship, me the teacher and father figure and she would be mixing with her own friends and society while I looked on at a distance from my study. I hear Des O'Connor had a son at about 73 so I shouldn't feel too old at my time of life, but would still rather be seen as a father not grandfather.
I wanted a family and kids as soon as I was free at 24, I dreamed about it and babysat since 16, with many glowing reports from the kids. But not even close to my own results. Any and all of my mental and physical problems could get in the way but they don't stop anyone. Criminals, psychotics, all have no shortage of kids. It's not a requirement to have all your marbles or limbs. In fact this odd government prefer people without faculties apparently as they are favoured over others for adoption, lottery grants and laws so I'd be in good company. OK, my poor kids would have to admit their father didn't have a job but at least that's one form of diversity I do want to promote as having a job is no big deal either way. Paying the bills is a big deal, how you do isn't important if no one gets hurt. And if you wanted to blame anyone, blame the youknowwhats that didn't give me a job when I was prepared to work, not me for never finding one. The longer you're out of it the less likely you'll want to get back in. The aristocracy know that better than anyone. Only plebs actually have to work for a living according to them. Pretty impractical but no one really looks down on them for not working through reason of millions in the bank.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Poo poo, the train's coming...
Well, as part of my new quest to revive blogger (since they unlinked all the fucking members, the crazy arseholes) I've been using the only linked blog facility I know, London Bloggers. OK, it limits me to only locals, besides those clever clever wallies who think it's amusing to say they're in London while writing from the Phillipines as they once spent a week in Earls Court in 1989.
Anyway, one trip took me to Ealing Broadway where guess what, he was offering and requesting poo stories. As soon as the blog site emails me a password I'll add mine, just the best one, as no one wants to be reminded of 10 minutes in the back of a friend's car at about the age of 6 with the fullest pants it's possible to have in human terms. It was just too big to wait. Well now I've told you instead but it's the wiping circles on the wall story for him, the one that had the 6'4'' John Mitchell doubled up with laughter in the school corridor when told by mt friend Peter in about 1976. Those were the days. Except for the exams, not that I even minded them then. A bit of travel (as a private candidate I got sent all over London per O and A level) and competition, with the inevitable fail grades the following summer. What a foundation laid for my future.
OK, I resat the Os, having started a year early for fun, and passed next time, and just scraped 3 As rather than fail, followed by failing nearly every exam in my degree till I got a private tutor. All's well that ends well in exam land anyway. My biggest shock at 16 was discovering I'd stopped growing at the exact height all my friends were when they started. Despite a long string of girlfriends I believed for many years this would hold me back although the evidence all contradicted it. And of course I'm stuck at the size (and mind) of a 14 year old all my life now, and it is absolutely no advantage at all. Like having one leg. No silver lining wherever you look. We can't even go after midget girls either now as besides achondroplastic most are now fixed with growth hormone and half probably overtook me at about 13. I suppose if there were to be a silver lining I think unlike Steven, my neighbour with the personality of a snail (after being trodden on), who walked into a disco once and the girls literally queued to dance with, forced me to use my personality as guys like him pulled with no need for one. A mental Napoleon complex. Pushed my mind to its limits as because my body couldn't grow I had to use the only thing that could.
I still think I missed a few hundred extra women though but I only ever wanted one good one. Still waiting. Meanwhile, where it lets me, I'm commenting on blogs again hoping to revive this dying format, and if I add enough maybe someone will have a look in here. An 80% reduction of hits in a year is pretty drastic and luckily this isn't a business. Flickr is how this was a couple of years ago. Loads of comments and unlike blogger you can track your own comments for replies in a click, which is so fucking simple to do it makes you wonder if this whole site is created by a machine and has no actual human brain behind it. It can't log me in automatically despite checking the box and the post labels are of no use to anyone as I always write about the same few topics anyway. If we could search other blogs with it then it would work, but our own? What the hell use is that?
It's pissing with rain and I'm waiting to collect the car from its service. I had a couple of spare hours as a result and decided to listen to the radio programmes I record overnight. I was busy yesterday, took the car in, had a friend over and had computer problems which have now been bypassed rather than totally repaired. Then saw Chelsea and Man Utd shlep out a pointless 0-0 draw having decided the champion's position already. I've got all my jobs done work or not this week and the rest is a bonus. But good to see poo stories are alive and well. Going back to holidays as a teenager when sooner or later someone would tell a poo story and it would last all night as we remembered car journeys and school assemblies where noises and smells gave away the unavoidable evidence of an unplanned dump. Going behind sofas, in back gardens, finding soiled pants discarded in a room etc are universal except possibly in primitive socities where that is all they do anyway, like Saudi Arabia. I joke not, anyone spending time in Edgware Road around Paddington will know they go wherever they are, and squat indoors in any available corner. Or outdoors once they leave the hotel or Harrods. My friend lived there for a couple of years and besides take a photo or ask me along to look I trust his word for it. Better than their bombs I suppose but almost as unpleasant.
Yesterday they had a programme on TV for non P.C. humour, and basically concluded if you make one subject taboo then how do you pick which? All or nothing really, and jokes are far less harmful than direct insults. But Arabs crapping in hotel rooms sadly is not funny unless you see someone step in it.
I still don't know how many spastics it takes to screw in a lightbulb though. Probably because it's impossible...
Anyway, one trip took me to Ealing Broadway where guess what, he was offering and requesting poo stories. As soon as the blog site emails me a password I'll add mine, just the best one, as no one wants to be reminded of 10 minutes in the back of a friend's car at about the age of 6 with the fullest pants it's possible to have in human terms. It was just too big to wait. Well now I've told you instead but it's the wiping circles on the wall story for him, the one that had the 6'4'' John Mitchell doubled up with laughter in the school corridor when told by mt friend Peter in about 1976. Those were the days. Except for the exams, not that I even minded them then. A bit of travel (as a private candidate I got sent all over London per O and A level) and competition, with the inevitable fail grades the following summer. What a foundation laid for my future.
OK, I resat the Os, having started a year early for fun, and passed next time, and just scraped 3 As rather than fail, followed by failing nearly every exam in my degree till I got a private tutor. All's well that ends well in exam land anyway. My biggest shock at 16 was discovering I'd stopped growing at the exact height all my friends were when they started. Despite a long string of girlfriends I believed for many years this would hold me back although the evidence all contradicted it. And of course I'm stuck at the size (and mind) of a 14 year old all my life now, and it is absolutely no advantage at all. Like having one leg. No silver lining wherever you look. We can't even go after midget girls either now as besides achondroplastic most are now fixed with growth hormone and half probably overtook me at about 13. I suppose if there were to be a silver lining I think unlike Steven, my neighbour with the personality of a snail (after being trodden on), who walked into a disco once and the girls literally queued to dance with, forced me to use my personality as guys like him pulled with no need for one. A mental Napoleon complex. Pushed my mind to its limits as because my body couldn't grow I had to use the only thing that could.
I still think I missed a few hundred extra women though but I only ever wanted one good one. Still waiting. Meanwhile, where it lets me, I'm commenting on blogs again hoping to revive this dying format, and if I add enough maybe someone will have a look in here. An 80% reduction of hits in a year is pretty drastic and luckily this isn't a business. Flickr is how this was a couple of years ago. Loads of comments and unlike blogger you can track your own comments for replies in a click, which is so fucking simple to do it makes you wonder if this whole site is created by a machine and has no actual human brain behind it. It can't log me in automatically despite checking the box and the post labels are of no use to anyone as I always write about the same few topics anyway. If we could search other blogs with it then it would work, but our own? What the hell use is that?
It's pissing with rain and I'm waiting to collect the car from its service. I had a couple of spare hours as a result and decided to listen to the radio programmes I record overnight. I was busy yesterday, took the car in, had a friend over and had computer problems which have now been bypassed rather than totally repaired. Then saw Chelsea and Man Utd shlep out a pointless 0-0 draw having decided the champion's position already. I've got all my jobs done work or not this week and the rest is a bonus. But good to see poo stories are alive and well. Going back to holidays as a teenager when sooner or later someone would tell a poo story and it would last all night as we remembered car journeys and school assemblies where noises and smells gave away the unavoidable evidence of an unplanned dump. Going behind sofas, in back gardens, finding soiled pants discarded in a room etc are universal except possibly in primitive socities where that is all they do anyway, like Saudi Arabia. I joke not, anyone spending time in Edgware Road around Paddington will know they go wherever they are, and squat indoors in any available corner. Or outdoors once they leave the hotel or Harrods. My friend lived there for a couple of years and besides take a photo or ask me along to look I trust his word for it. Better than their bombs I suppose but almost as unpleasant.
Yesterday they had a programme on TV for non P.C. humour, and basically concluded if you make one subject taboo then how do you pick which? All or nothing really, and jokes are far less harmful than direct insults. But Arabs crapping in hotel rooms sadly is not funny unless you see someone step in it.
I still don't know how many spastics it takes to screw in a lightbulb though. Probably because it's impossible...
Monday, May 07, 2007
Nothing on TV but snooker
Being snookered (a very boring world final) by the TV I am back here. I am glad to see a few more visitors than recently, including one from Albania (they have computers?/electricity). I've done sweet FA anyhow since my last visit besides a bit of shopping (normally only reported by geriatrics and retards but little enough excitement can turn anyone into either) but I've played many more online quizzes and this was all that was left. The Funtrivia blogs were threatened with extinction, so typically everyone suddenly realised they needed them and started writing again and they're still there so far. We did get a little chat board instead but not quite as impressive.
The week ahead (my Monday allowance of predictions) seems fairly free, a couple of bookings and that's about it. I want to take pictures of a couple of stations tomorrow as I saw you can probably see them from bridges, and have chosen the next I want to print, and did end up with some nice ones last week after seeing little places in between the others I've taken. How long they will continue to turn up is anyone's guess, but I have now gone out taking them with someone else at last. And female. I certainly appreciate everything I do now as there have been days when I couldn't do any of them for health reasons and now I know it all counts, no job is small, it's only whether you can do it or not that day, like lifting weights. What may be easy to one is impossible to another but may be later on and vice versa. I still have my share of worries, some old, some new and some may be over but can't know for certain. But when I saw the stats today I thought how disappointing it can be to visit a blog and find nothing new. I found 3 of my links are gone now so time to delete but nothing to replace them with. I was looking up an answer for Funtrivia which made me look for this scene from Reginald Perrin, one of my all time favourites.
Adam: I done biggies! (The car screeches to a halt).
Elizabeth: That is not the right way to say it, Adam. It's "I've done biggies".
Linda: Let them talk the way they want to, Mum.
Elizabeth: Well, they should be able to speak correctly. They might want jobs with the BBC one day.
Reggie: Yes, and all the BBC newsreaders say "I've done biggies".
Tom: It's just that we like our own way of bringing them up. We treat them, not as children, but as tiny adults.
The complete scripts are on www.Leonardrossiter.com I also found a load of Fawlty Towers quotes which also sent me back to around 1978. They don't seem to manage such quality any more, possibly Seinfeld but that's long gone as well. I watch a lot less TV now, partly as it's crap and partly as I have broadband. My favourite programmes are on digital which are all from the 60s like Randall and Hopkirk deceased, which I forgot to record today. The Avengers (Thursday) The Saint and all the rest of the similar bunch all show Britain as I remembered it, Morris cars (who sees them any more, not just age but abysmal quality) Routemaster buses, hippy posters, old phones with named exchanges (CUNningham 5797), the adverts you no longer see like the lemon on the grocery door 'I drink Idris when I's dry', Watney's Red Barrel and all the other products long forgotten, although Idris now appears only to supply pubs. These are the things I notice besides the action in life and TV. The setting. And art and design is influenced by atmosphere, and that must mean 2007 is poisonous if you look at the new houses and cars, let alone the TV ads, which appear to be written by and for drug addicts. Totally random and meaningless except to the writer themself. It's a diseased attitude throughout this century, begun with Thatcher's grey emasculation of anything left of the 60s culture, followed by Labour's mirror image 'style over content' government (named by Ben Elton, formerly a fan) which saw Britain become a multicultural overcrowded version of the worst suburbs of Paris. But without the cheap and frequent public transport. Anyone in London can't avoid moaning nowadays unless living in the parts that cost over a million, as the places and people have switched to the third world. Flats replace houses, people double in density due to loss of restrictions on immigration and as a result building densities. No room to move on roads pavements or in any public building. It can't just be Brent and Barnet changing like this, I assume every borough has their share of it and in 50 years the tower blocks will have returned and English will be a minority language. Not racist, just descriptive of how it's starting to change. And if people can't speak the language (I include people who have been here many years, not just recent arrivals) how on earth are they expected to mix with the people who do? They simply don't need to. They have their own communities and clearly manage to get everything they need within them. I mean kids who start school at 5 and have to be taught English, if they're lucky. At least they just had a TV programme about it though it left the viewers with no opinion or conclusion, just the facts. Not that it's hard to make one from them.
Isolation, division, overcrowding and competiton for resources are always signs of a declining society and economy. Add the highest prices for housing and transport (public and private) and anywhere else would have had a war or revolution. We have the Daily Mail which just moans about it and states the bleedin' obvious. Then they vote the idiot Blair and antichrist Livingstone in again to make the damage even worse. OK, David Cameron was chosen to do a Blair to win an election, so we'll get the same either way. Great. More lies about global warming and punitive taxes that hit the poor more as a result. If I say it often enough people may begin to wake up as if you miss the picture it's still there. You've just had it hidden by smoke and mirrors. I try and blow it all away, someone has to do it.
The week ahead (my Monday allowance of predictions) seems fairly free, a couple of bookings and that's about it. I want to take pictures of a couple of stations tomorrow as I saw you can probably see them from bridges, and have chosen the next I want to print, and did end up with some nice ones last week after seeing little places in between the others I've taken. How long they will continue to turn up is anyone's guess, but I have now gone out taking them with someone else at last. And female. I certainly appreciate everything I do now as there have been days when I couldn't do any of them for health reasons and now I know it all counts, no job is small, it's only whether you can do it or not that day, like lifting weights. What may be easy to one is impossible to another but may be later on and vice versa. I still have my share of worries, some old, some new and some may be over but can't know for certain. But when I saw the stats today I thought how disappointing it can be to visit a blog and find nothing new. I found 3 of my links are gone now so time to delete but nothing to replace them with. I was looking up an answer for Funtrivia which made me look for this scene from Reginald Perrin, one of my all time favourites.
Adam: I done biggies! (The car screeches to a halt).
Elizabeth: That is not the right way to say it, Adam. It's "I've done biggies".
Linda: Let them talk the way they want to, Mum.
Elizabeth: Well, they should be able to speak correctly. They might want jobs with the BBC one day.
Reggie: Yes, and all the BBC newsreaders say "I've done biggies".
Tom: It's just that we like our own way of bringing them up. We treat them, not as children, but as tiny adults.
The complete scripts are on www.Leonardrossiter.com I also found a load of Fawlty Towers quotes which also sent me back to around 1978. They don't seem to manage such quality any more, possibly Seinfeld but that's long gone as well. I watch a lot less TV now, partly as it's crap and partly as I have broadband. My favourite programmes are on digital which are all from the 60s like Randall and Hopkirk deceased, which I forgot to record today. The Avengers (Thursday) The Saint and all the rest of the similar bunch all show Britain as I remembered it, Morris cars (who sees them any more, not just age but abysmal quality) Routemaster buses, hippy posters, old phones with named exchanges (CUNningham 5797), the adverts you no longer see like the lemon on the grocery door 'I drink Idris when I's dry', Watney's Red Barrel and all the other products long forgotten, although Idris now appears only to supply pubs. These are the things I notice besides the action in life and TV. The setting. And art and design is influenced by atmosphere, and that must mean 2007 is poisonous if you look at the new houses and cars, let alone the TV ads, which appear to be written by and for drug addicts. Totally random and meaningless except to the writer themself. It's a diseased attitude throughout this century, begun with Thatcher's grey emasculation of anything left of the 60s culture, followed by Labour's mirror image 'style over content' government (named by Ben Elton, formerly a fan) which saw Britain become a multicultural overcrowded version of the worst suburbs of Paris. But without the cheap and frequent public transport. Anyone in London can't avoid moaning nowadays unless living in the parts that cost over a million, as the places and people have switched to the third world. Flats replace houses, people double in density due to loss of restrictions on immigration and as a result building densities. No room to move on roads pavements or in any public building. It can't just be Brent and Barnet changing like this, I assume every borough has their share of it and in 50 years the tower blocks will have returned and English will be a minority language. Not racist, just descriptive of how it's starting to change. And if people can't speak the language (I include people who have been here many years, not just recent arrivals) how on earth are they expected to mix with the people who do? They simply don't need to. They have their own communities and clearly manage to get everything they need within them. I mean kids who start school at 5 and have to be taught English, if they're lucky. At least they just had a TV programme about it though it left the viewers with no opinion or conclusion, just the facts. Not that it's hard to make one from them.
Isolation, division, overcrowding and competiton for resources are always signs of a declining society and economy. Add the highest prices for housing and transport (public and private) and anywhere else would have had a war or revolution. We have the Daily Mail which just moans about it and states the bleedin' obvious. Then they vote the idiot Blair and antichrist Livingstone in again to make the damage even worse. OK, David Cameron was chosen to do a Blair to win an election, so we'll get the same either way. Great. More lies about global warming and punitive taxes that hit the poor more as a result. If I say it often enough people may begin to wake up as if you miss the picture it's still there. You've just had it hidden by smoke and mirrors. I try and blow it all away, someone has to do it.
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