Friday, September 09, 2016

One day in the psychiatric society

One day in the psychiatric society all the department heads got together for a mental health review. Some definitions had become out of date and they decided to update the disorders and make them more current. We join the meeting in the middle:

"Gentlemen, you all have the list in front of you. Aardvark, alien, bull, chimp, chocolate, devil, divan, engine driver, Eric Sykes, Felix the Cat, female, Frank Zappa, fungus, genius, gipsy, giraffe, governor, horse, independent financial consultant, Jesus, Julius Caesar, knight, Louis Armstrong, male, moorhen, murderer, Napoleon, nuclear scientist, Olympian competitor, Oscar Peterson, Oscar Pistorius, page three model, prince, quetzlcoatl bird, radiator, satan, tightrope walker, van driver, Van Gogh, Van Morrison, warthog, zebra.

This is the short version of the list of some of the more well known delusions since records began, and we have decided that to become more relevant to 21st century society some of these are surely no longer to be considered delusions, or mental illnesses at all. Who is it for society to tell others who they are or are not? If a man wants to lop off his penis and testicles and call himself Rita then surely that expresses his inner self and is not only not an illness, but that man is clearly actually a woman, and his body and XY chromosomes are an irrelevant distraction to their real identity. The same goes for a person born female who feels the other way. All those in favour raise your hands."

Well I can't think of a better explanation, can you?