Saturday, October 31, 2009

Is it actually happening?

Well I'm still learning. I see the way any positivity becomes sabotaged one way or another, which in duality (ie the non enlightened view) is inevitable. Heads and tails. You get the positive and the negative is there underneath about to cancel it out. But while in duality now I've seen this am working to see if I can divert it each time something heads in a positive direction to stop that before it does so.

So I've got a blank slate. My studying (such as it is) continues, most is familiar as I've been studying alien abductees for a long time already and those studies not familiar by name just cover the same things over again as basically the format of regressions and their subjects is pretty fixed within its parameters.
Besides my friends arriving from America next week for the second time since 2002 my plans are clear. A couple of bookings at least next week which is useful, although this week was unknown but got plenty done. I am still not dismissing the message I got something good is on its way, despite my initial feeling being within the next day. That was my test of faith. I think I know the difference between something and nothing and won't let that one go. If it meant rather than sit back and receive I had to do something, then I've done something and can only now sit back and wait as there's nothing else left.

Of course the future can go either way, and like the little device with pins in a triangle where the balls fall down and land in a triangle, the likeliest directions are near the centre, but then again one has to go at the extreme end sometimes and I'm well overdue one at the good end now. I certainly felt disaster coming most of my life and very reliably, and never seen anything good coming besides once when I knew I'd meet someone at my friend's sister's party, and she was one of the best ever. Sod the science, what I'm working with now all goes way above any science we can offer. It's showing new boundaries but so far not smoothly or consistenly, but what ever does?

Gone too quiet

The week has been pretty busy but don't seem to have added very much besides earning some money, which can never be dismissed. I have a big mystery to solve over the lost roundabout sign, and one which has the potential to complete a project if still waiting somewhere. Enquiries are being made. I hope the current momentum to reveal the truth where previously absent continues, immigration is already now admitted and only about consequences, and global warming is showing cracks by the day. Had you or I earned money that way we'd be up before the serious fraud office, forget Labour the war criminals for that is the prerogative of every government to assert their authority, but not fraud. Mugabe should be proud of them.

My plans are down to waiting for my friends next week from America, the rest is who knows. My faith is being tested (something I've only had for a few months) but not gone yet. A few projects are still alive so can only carry on pushing the areas until something happens either way. But there are too many gaps, ie 80% of the time at least, and I can't fill those gaps usefully the whole time, who can? I did start my postal course at last as dark afternoons stop anything outdoors, and that will fill my professional requirements for most of the year now. But when what seems like good starts either stop or freeze like a computer you do wonder what the point is at times.
I have at least finally located a TV series I missed from 1973 when it was repeated, that should arrive in a few days if nothing else. Meanwhile I plough on and witness the usual ups and downs each day, when hopes are raised and dropped, and so far mainly gained either short term benefits or potential information I can't yet use for any benefit.

Maybe it will all come together. The return of the counter, plus with virtually unlimited numbers means I'll probably post here even more, as what's the point of looking if nothing new's been written? I have more time to read now it's dark early and I've finished the work on my grandma's will. I am also planning my Mensa IQ test soon as the trial run I took went pretty well. Better than I expected actually as the few attempts I'd done over the years had been quite disappointing considering I knew the score I could get. It has to get quiet sometimes and run out of ideas, and I'm buggered if I'm going to bed early as that's even worse.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

A little improvement

It has been a strange week, even for me. Besides one booking I've been free and for some reason I was given the thought all my problems should be over very soon. Having watched teachings on such things and had accurate messages on lesser things then I took this fairly seriously, and may pick up things around me if important enough. So I thought of the sort of things that would do this, most are possible but none likely, and then thought which ones would be enough to have a lasting effect rather than like charging a battery for a short time. Normally if nothing happened I'd have forgotten about it, but as this seemed like the sort of dreams which stand out as special I'm not letting this one go.

In reality I've used the time well, I took some very nice views of Harrow on the Hill, done plenty of shopping and took a video in Finchley after more clearing of ex-grandma's house. It's all gone quite smoothly, more than usual in fact, although nothing itself has happened. I did however enlarge a photo where I thought I'd seen the old roundabout sign last year and saw the apparent pole was a space in the trees, implying I'd got the location wrong as there are a number of photos nearby online and would be amazed if a sign was there and none had caught it. That leaves the possibility it was somewhere else. Before Streetview I drove every road looking, and covered each dual carriageway with a roundabout where I may have been. Nothing. But the fact it was there pre-1963 it could still be there a year after I saw it, but have a total mental block if not Tolworth. So I've been researching and asked many people in the area online by email in case they know it, it's not like my one on a suburban block, but on a 6 lane major road. I will see.

Being on winter time now my days are different, and as it got dark soon after working didn't need to go out, and after wasting the rest of the day trying to find a TV series online I missed when last repeated have now run out of material. I've concluded my search for other signs as covered the whole lot of likely places and many unlikely, only a red triangle would complete the set if it comes. The further out ones can stay there and wouldn't have taken many back when they were normal so why do it now? Any I do are a bonus but Kent (old and new) is less accessible to me than Birmingham 120 miles away. My faith is being tested like most great sages in history. Meanwhile I've been watching total nonsense on TV, like 'How racist are you' (ans, who cares?), and the usual nauseating stream of carbon footprints as usual. But the BBC are slipping as they let a disbeliever speak on the radio news despite his performance being worse than useless as he's patented his knowledge so unless he shares it will remain useless.

Optimism is normally outside my scope, but besides the pointless hope for its own sake, which is no better than fearing the worst as neither are real, when you appear to be inspired by a greater force then unless there isn't one you shouldn't drop it if nothing seems to be happening. This force has demonstrated itself to me enough to accept it, and have also learnt besides passing exams the normal ways to success are indirect, ie you can't make them happen deliberately. This week has already been a breakthrough as once I'd found the BBC announcement they had stopped reporting anti global warming data the 10 year old government documents creating a multicultural Britain in secret were released by accident, and then Piers Corbyn got his Climate Fools Day interview on the BBC news. Things have freed up, and you can't put that lot back in the box proving we've been shat on and lied to by those I said were doing it from day one. If they've been caught with their hands in the till a few times then what about all the rest we haven't found yet? I'm also waiting for the new film 'Not evil, just wrong' to counter 'An Incovenient Truth' to be released, and hope to goodness it's in cinemas and not just the one showing two weeks ago online. That won't teach the kids if it's all we're going to see of it.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Drawing a blank

This is an interesting test. Each day of freedom shows me it can be used despite no plans until I get there. I got some nice pictures in Harrow School today and then got a few chores done before getting in front of the TV and computer as normal. I've got a counter here now with enough numbers not to get busted in a few years, and finally (I hope) repaired my Internet Explorer as it was only loading pages every few attempts. I still can't use my recent documents but the two went together so may be connected. Tomorrow is free again and besides making a possible video haven't made any decisions, although in the evening do plan some paperwork now it's dark by before 5. I haven't checked the hit counter yet a day after I set it, but will be commenting on others again now it's too dark to stay out very late.

The green taxes hit hard today, with meat to follow the fuel already set to double or more. As if I didn't see it coming and shame on all the gullible fools who thought it was about the planet. I hope one by one these people learn a lesson the governments are bigger crooks than the convicts, and no different from Soviet Russia or even the Nazis, who were arguably more honest as they said exactly what they planned to do and the people happened to agree. I don't of course but I don't agree with the current bunch of wankers either. The era of truth has begun though, the immigration plans are now out of the bag and as long as an MP or two force an enquiry the issue may be discredited as it should have been via the last election that kept these clowns in. The BBC were forced to admit the climate figures, probably before everyone else left them behind to look like climate stability deniers. Boot on other foot now isn't it?

It's always a balance between the personal world and the outside world, any good news on either always helps but comes as and when it chooses. As I have 32 blue panel direction signs already the idea of travelling the London equivalent of an Indiana Jones journey is allowed to discourage me, after getting some far rarer ones just as far afield but on much easier routes. Then is Knockholt, a lot further but in the country, and Sevenoaks which is on one route there. Saved for later if I can be arsed that is. The woman whose sister claimed she wanted to marry me in a few months is not behaving like anyone who even wants more than a free evening of entertainment to me. I don't want more than her body as her mind sadly is a very large echoing void. Quite harmless but the mind of a child. If not she'd have been married years ago.

So I hope for a lot, although hope is second to greed as it's smaller child. But I don't expect it which is the child of unintelligence. I expect nothing as even the usual events can change either way, and only dare to hope as things have happened before so set the precedent. There is a line to cross for every event in my life from darkness to light. Women, fame, sorting out each news issue, and everything else affecting my quality of life. I blog besides living alone as there's no community in London. People in Liphook 50 miles away were saying on TV they all know each other, and had I grew up in a small town like that I'd be part of something and know lots of people nearby. As it is the only neighbour who bothered with me (usually to cadge favours) was sent 60 miles away by a court in his absence, my best friend fled the country in 2002, and my nearest two relatives to me are both dead now. There's Ms Medication, the nearest thing to a relationship currently who does live round the corner and gives little but grief and aggravation, besides getting me out doing things again, someone a few miles away who works nights, my parents even further (in different directions), and currently that's it. There was the creepy lizard literally round the corner who entertained herself visiting for whatever she could get out of my personal abilities till I didn't do her a favour in the way she wanted and let all her poison out by email. Not that that was new, she'd just saved it as if I couldn't tell until she didn't want me any more and let me know what was always in her mind.

Then there's the list of people I do my best to avoid. These are the tail end of a stream of hangers on I've had since I left school who didn't work and found me around during the day when I was a student or working odd hours (yes, I worked properly till a while ago). I learnt to head them off but one or two still return when they feel like a try again. I have a car, a decent computer and plenty to eat. Then I can do my impressions and similar to complete the full use of my potential with absolutely nothing in return. No thanks. I've done my best to keep the sponge from the door but it keeps trying. I've had enough of being sponged and that was after 2am trips to supermarkets and other minicab jobs (unpaid) before I drew the line. So being almost fully isolated from actual people I have no current choice but the internet. I hope (yet again) that will not last for too much longer.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Counting my hits

The clocks have now gone back, I've covered most of the map looking for old signs so now ready for dark afternoons with indoor jobs. The paperwork mounted up over the summer and am now ready for it. Nothing planned this week besides one booking so far, I will see, last week was the same and incredibly busy in the end so never know.
I have had to get yet another counter for here, but the good news is it's huge. The onld one stopped at 5 figures which was pretty useless, I had 8 on this but cut down to 7 for size and reality. I'll see how many I'm getting now and has the existing total and start date posted at the bottom of the page as before.

Another theme this week is the truth squeaking out. They've proved that the BBC supressed anti global warming data in 2006 as I guessed, the Labour government deliberately let almost anyone in the country from 2000 as I guessed, and we've just been hit with car taxes Hitler and Stalin would have shuddered at. The time of lying can only last so long as eventually the turds hiding under the chest of drawers in the corner of the room have to surface when you drop something nearby (personal experience). Our government has now been shown up as the lying cheating arseholes I always said they were, and while they bleat about Nick Griffin finally getting his say on the BBC (unlike people dissing global warming, odd that), the government actually engineered it that the BNP would be the only party speaking up against immigration. Who else are people meant to expect to represent their views? Not that I like them but I do know what they stand for, unlike the crooks we've got now.

I ploughed through enough work last week it was like a normal person and although deserve the break have pretty much run out of ideas. The paperwork may lead to my first published article so a good start, and another good opportunity for the guidance to show itself. My map is almost filled in showing I've looked at every likely spot for direction signs, and the rest are so rare I'd need months to cover the small roads just in case and still unlikely to get any new ones. Although I have a small set of warning/information signs none are perfect. I have a lovely HALT and T junction but no circle or triangle on top. I have a single triangle on top school sign (after missing a T junction and losing a roundabout) and five 5mph speed limits, including one with its circle still there. And finally I have a crossroads sign but it's a copy of the original so not 100% kosher, maybe not even 1% kosher. One decent triangle sign (not on the way to Peterborough though, the mind is willing but not the body) and the work is over. The research goes on and I know had I got one earlier wouldn't have made such an effort to get the others which are technically better as each direction is unique to one location. The others were universal and everyone's seen them before I take mine.

I was doing some of my spiritual work, and wondered if God claims to communicate with people how our leaders are the pits? There was an answer, that the sort of bastards choosing to bully the public don't generally have the open mind to hear the messages. The amount of stuff I get is increasing, whoever passes it on, and I only know it's not me as it's what I suspect but can't prove. When I do prove it later it only confirms what I'd worked out with little or no evidence. Some is logical but others have just been knowing as if I'd been told but hadn't. They seem like our own thoughts but the information is from outside our experience.
There is a level above my current one, of choosing where the guidance takes us. That's the highest level of adept, and one we only hear anecdotally. I don't say 'I want to meet a woman/ find a sign etc today/this week/month' and get it. In fact most things on my list not within my own ability to earn have been got at all.

Therefore the woman, and all the other highest level aims on my list are harder the less related to work they are, so an article or going on proper TV are likely as already on the career path, whereas women and signs are down to what's there already. I do seem to be able to divert the worst arrangements with years of practice, people still corral me into doing something I don't want to, and then they cancel it. That happens over 50% of the time, probably more, so a start. That's negative influence, if I can equally attract events I do want I'll have cracked it. I did make a list and so far fixed a long standing financial dispute and get the broken red triangle sign, then it seemed to fizzle out. I do enjoy the freedom not having to check the chat boards every day and deal with queries, but enjoyed it more doing it and never intended to stop had I not been forced out. I had getting that back on my list and that hasn't happened. I can do plenty of other things now but never wanted more than a break from that and now it's been imposed on me am ready to go back and ask for a break if I need one. The women around me go from bad to worse, and all my email enquiries are in another phase of being binned.

I will see in a few days how the counter is going, and another aspect of dark days is I can read more blogs and attract some more readers here as I used to. There's been no counter for a couple of months now so probably lost up to 1000 off the total but will see if the numbers creep up more than they did when the other was working.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Teaching understood

This has been a totally unknown week at the start, and so far have actually been quite productive. I've cashed most of my vouchers now, got a pair of what could be new designer jeans for £5 after the real shop had them for about £70, had a surprise visit from a friend today (then his car rolled down the hill into both a neighbour's cars- he has been accident prone as long as I've known him), and two work bookings after a long gap. It shows you don't have to plan ahead as each day whatever needs doing becomes apparent and other things happen to provide something to do, even if total crap at times.

I'm also glad to report the radiation leak story has finally been published in the Kent Messenger, so now it's in the public eye any major media can pick it up if they think it's worth it. Maybe if I said the road signs were channeling alien messages they may write about me, but more likely to be sectioned. Meanwhile the day the national post strike starts we were sent the final letter to apply (by post of course) for my grandma's will's probate after 4 month's work. That's good timing. I'm working bang in the middle of the afternoon tomorrow before dinner at my mum as per every week, so no need to think of other ideas. I do think the guidance seems to be covering more areas, the new car turned up both in minutes but was the exact one I test drove 8 years ago at that garage and said I'd buy when I could afford an older one. And 1900 miles on the clock (guaranteed) is almost unheard of. Timing and other little things are apparently falling into place as well (besides the fucking Thai restaurant featured online over a week ago closing the only day I had a friend here to make a delivery) plus of course her total lack of romantic interest in me, despite her sister claiming she's already planning a February wedding (she never told me though). Crossed wires indeed.

My personal role teaching is acting in an active and passive way, if I learn something new I tell people, and otherwise just wait for someone to raise something that requires it. My biggest coup this year came when I'd traced the source I suspected for ages of the BBC, who did announce they were no longer going to waste time offering alternative views on man made global warming in 2006 as it was beyond discussion. I will try and limit my blog swearing so not call them total fucking wankers. Oops. But they truly are or I'd never have allowed a second one out. There is a sense of freedom here though which I don't use verbally, as I never swear in front of women and strangers unless they do first as I still believe many people will find it offensive. This is more like Big Brother where you know they do it and are pretty well prepared, and if not then only have to see it once to make your decision. But words are there for a reason and those have a unique place where silly twits or horse's backsides just don't do the job. In fact the BBC have guaranteed what most accused them of for generations, they are the mouthpiece of the left of British government, and when out of power the BBC keep the flame burning regardless who is in power with their total bias.

I have tested this enough times to know it as well. I was trained to think clearly and follow through arguments before presenting them. And if I see something that is hiding in the shadows it is my duty to try and display it to others. Do you want to be robbed by Al Gore's personal scheme? Lies are not, as the bible says, obvious, or they'd never stick. Tell someone they have a big nose and if they don't is a pretty useless insult. It has to have either an element of truth or be so hard to fathom the truth is almost impossible to discover without the facts. That is what we have here, but with the internet not being policed very much the facts are there. The fact some people choose to accept the government and UN's view 'as they would never lie to us' just demonstrates their naievety and tends to be the environmental twits and younger generation who are brainwashed at school as if it's actually happening as Al Gore pretended. Lots of people call the radio understanding this perfectly, but I don't know if they make the same effort more than once like I have got to. You can't rely on someone else, or think people have heard enough as they clearly haven't or we wouldn't be stuck with Copenhagen later this year which will tax us all back to the stone age.

I have also decided whatever the teachers say there's nothing wrong with wanting a bit of personal glory in return. That's not money, I can get that in other ways, but the years of effort that went into knowing whatever I do deserves to be rewarded in some other way. You are for plenty of other public works and why the hell not? You only get (as far as I know) one go at this so may as well benefit yourself as well. If everyone could do it I wouldn't need to anyway would I?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Major achievements

After a little run of minor successes recently I've realised although these are necessary in themselves, they don't change my life and just like recharging the batteries for a few days. I need something that'll alter my life long term and those are by their nature both rare and almost impossible to achieve directly except for qualifications. With 50 looming I'm seeing the time running out to succeed in life, as most people have their love life and career sorted out by 30. Not me of course. I know which events cross this line and can't make a shopping list and then go out and do them. Most rely on other people and others may not actually exist at all despite looking for them.

Being Monday I can't help looking ahead to the week. I have one certain woman visiting in the evening with two more pencilled in the day before and after. Unless these were of my choice (no they're not) I'd far rather one per week but phases are real and here's another one. I'd still be free during the day except one but haven't actually got a clue what I will do with the last light week till March. The paperwork can wait till I can't do much beyond 4pm outdoors, so have it all saved up. But despite mopping up another old sign yesterday on the edges of Kent there's sod all left north of the river where I actually live, for obvious reasons. Tomorrow always takes care of itself when free, which is the ideal default position, but do prefer a rough idea the day before, which I don't have at the moment. Other possibilities on my system include another photo competition and magazine letter written, but the emails about road signs and the like have again returned a big fat zero, plus one for money. Fancy that.

The BBC (I only heard indirectly but should be true) finally broke a rule today and admitted the temperatures were stuck at 1998 after which they stopped rising. Of course the suggestion was even though one IPCC wonk predicted another 20 years before temperatures rose again, it was only part of the general increase. Others said the theory didn't predict any falling of temperatures and should admit defeat, but we are a step closer. I've heard every fucking argument for both sides till I could write a thesis, and like any jury both sides are very convincing till you compare them, and the warmist's total argument is based on guesswork. And for the next twat who accuses anyone of not being a scientist when they explain the holes in their argument, I'd say are juries expected to be qualified to put their peers in prison (or even have them killed by the state)? If so then why bloody well question the rest of us for judging the evidence, plus remind them the IPCC aren't scientists either. They are a bunch of successful career politicians who are meant to do the same as us but actually do as they are told by whoever pays their expenses.

Looking back I have collected a lot recently, and even though it cost me money I didn't need to spend the new car is like driving a Rolls after the last one (OK, a Volvo, I have no idea what driving a Rolls would be like) so the journeys I've made were a lot less tiring. Six more direction signs in a few weeks is pretty amazing after most junctions had been checked months ago, but realised the extra places they could be and hit the jackpot. But these are just battery charging, they run out in a few days with these minor successes and the time is well overdue for bigger and better.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

More is guided?

Actual life is busy and pretty trouble free, but someone suggested maybe the damage to my car was inflicted by the schizophrenic who wants to kill me. I very much doubt it but having picked up a newer car (1900 miles on the clock) yesterday would rather not have had that idea at all. The old one went today and very happy with its replacement, which looks very similar but feels half as fast which is a true sign of quality.
I still haven't found a way to get a counter on my template at all, I suspect they don't allow them any more which would make no sense at all. I may try a new one but will be the last try if goes funny.

I'm no longer too bothered looking for more old signs after a fuzzy image of one on Sunday turned out to be three when I got there. And bloody rare ones as well. I still need a complete red triangle (ie not damaged) but a very tall order in London. In addition to finding signs the simple arrangement in life, as described in the Celestine Prophecy, seems to be working for more now. I had to get some tools from a neighbour's garage on the weekend and couldn't open the door as they were out, and was about to give up when the person next door turned up, and not only opened it but found the tools in the dark as well. And when I needed a new car found the same model I tested in 2001 new but said I couldn't afford new but would buy when older. And it was the first place I looked and only had 1900 on the clock. I expect life to work like this now as I know it can.

So I'm currently Streetviewing just in case, and have my friends from Florida (since 2002) coming for the 2nd time for a week next month. If all is guided for the best now anything could happen. It'll be about time after so long in the desert...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Political correctness, why?

Back in the late 60s there was one insult at school that summed up the whole era, spasmo. It covered just about every type of situation and was the primary insult by all the boys for some years. It could have been a combination of spastic and homo but probably just a typical fancy version of it. There were the more direct words, spastic, cretin, mongol and moron which caused the medical profession to abandon them by the neo-communists of Camden and Haringey councils, thus depriving doctors of direct words which had been used for over 100 years and replaced by clunky phrases like cerebral palsy sufferers, mentally subnormal (that didn't survive long either), and the ghastly modern educationally challenged.

Race wasn't really an issue back then, in NW London it was basically Christians vs Jews, and in about 1967 when the first black kid joined the class, Augustin Okwu from the Nigerian embassy, we were purely fascinated, and called him chocolate face (as 7 year olds) only as a description, with absolutely no malice. Intent is now irrelevant and the whole class along with their parents would be prosecuted with the children being put into care. In fact the only racism there was against the Jews, and not subtle or hidden at all but openly persecuted by the school Nazis who called us everything they did word for word. Jeremy Smith, I mean you. Nasty piece of work, and slept with his ex the night before his wedding in his 40s. They rarely change.

Political correctness is the totalitarianism of the 21st century. Saying you don't believe man can create global warming is now lumped in with denying the holocaust, except many extreme left wingers do exactly that themselves. Watch the thought police and follow what I do and totally ignore them. This does not mean insulting races maliciously, but being free to mention more crimes are committed by black people in the UK, most terrorists are muslims and other examples of stating the bleeding obvious. If the BBC could repaint black murderers in the news they would as they want no one to be certain what we all know is true exists. Simply covering the truth doesn't stop it existing, just confuses people. I'm not confused as I never stop using perfectly good words as some twat with no sense of logic tells me to. If someone says not to use a word I'll use it twice and recommend you all do as well. Anyone with equal credentials to Tiger Woods, Lewis Hamilton, or his American double President Obama will succeed whatever colour they are. Besides exclusion, which happened equally to Jews as Blacks until a few years ago, if we couldn't succeed in one area we found one where we could. We didn't give up as clubs wouldn't accept us.

I needn't say any more, just ignore what they preach at the UN and Camden alike, and use the evidence of your own eyes to distinguish wrong from right. By silencing us they have the power, and do far worse against most of the world than any of us can with words alone.

Friday, October 09, 2009

1000th post

I just spotted this would be the 1000th post since I began just over 4 years ago. I don't see many people keeping up their blogs much over a year but when I find anything I like I keep going. I'm coming up to 10 years on Funtrivia in february and see no reason to move on wherever I'm happy, but not many others seem to bother.

I have to buy a new car very quickly as mine was both damaged outside and inside, but covered by insurance. How I didn't hear it outside my house is amazing but couldn't do anything about that. The rest of the week has been wet till today so did indoors stuff and scanned all the rest of my old photos worth using to Flickr. Then I had to run around over the car today onwards plus the usual business with my grandma's estate. So no gathering dust, and someone actually noticed I hadn't been on Facebook for a few days. I may well be the owner of a new car tomorrow if it hasn't yet been sold but there was nothing wrong with the old one before it was wrecked. I can use it though but beyond reasonable repair.
When I spoke to Jesus he said what would I write for my 1000th post and I said 'What would Jesus do?' Probably preach some ghastly crap which was then distorted for 2000 years until it bore no relation to the original message was my guess, but he was more subtle and said make a list of all the people in your life since 2004 who either passed or failed your tests. So, without much chance of any of them reading this (or working out who they were if they do), here is a rough selection:

1) Every woman I know besides one I tried who told me where to get off. Thanks girls, I won't be sending any christmas cards.
2) All the people I've met online who were just the same as they were in reality. I'm jusy sorry none live less than 40 miles away (most are way beyond) so I can do it more often.
3) The conspiracy to get me out of a job. I'll never quite know why they did it but got what they wanted, at what gain though?
4) My grandma, who carried on regardless as she was 50 years earlier and suddenly stopped just short of her 100th birthday.
5) My cat Lucy who arrived by chance in 1999 and left the world at an uncertain age in 2008 after a very happy time here.
6) All the people I know online who I haven't met, but possibly will if close enough.
7) My friend who did half the work on my grandma's estate (or more) without whom we would have had to waste a lot of money on strangers we couldn't trust.
8) My father's neighbours who have helped me and showered me with gifts over the years.
9) Nick Roach, a very patient and honest teacher.
10) The c**t at the residents association who screwed up my plans and then screwed them up again.
11) All the newspaper editors who got their reporters to interview me and then didn't use the results.
12) The arsehole at the council who ignored my emails and messages.
13) The friend whose work meant I was saved the biggest financial loss of my whole life.
14) The people at Flickr who sent me locations of old signs they knew I'd never have found otherwise.
15) My new friend from Big Brother.
and finally the people who confirmed they were not just as bad as I suspected but even worse.
They wouldn't know who they were or care if they did, which was why I judged them so.

But there is a long list there and like everything in the 'real world' pretty evenly divided between one or the other. The good look down on the bad, from their higher developmental position, and although can see what they do they would never dream of doing themselves, they can do nothing to stop them no more than we can go in the past and teach the savages. They are way back on their journey and we have no way to avoid them hitting us with their primitive weapons based on greed, pride and fear. I tried teaching a few of them and got rude messages in return, but I had to check. And some I thought were better proved otherwise, and others clearly are more interested in kissing ass than doing the right thing. That's the fear element working, for the power element combined with greed. I know I'm only driven by fear, but not to stitch good people up, just to avoid danger. I had 5 years of power on a website and kept more people there while others just booted them off. Very few people needed booting off but they were happy to ruin someone's pleasure for an indiscretion or behaviour they had probably done themselves in a past existence.
So for those with their fingers on the buttons, they don't have to use them. The test is not whether you can but whether when you can you do. Anyone can be given authority but few will use it properly. That is my next article (just needs editing when it's wet again), and then have to find somewhere with more than a handful of readers to publish it. As I always say, if one person learns it's a miracle. And let's hope for many ones.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

The power of entropy?

On the technical side there's good news and bad news, the bad being the counter has stopped although it was removed from the page months ago, but kept working till last month. But at least my readers haven't all given up, I just don't know how many there are now. I tried to add a new counter but suspect blogger don't like them and wasn't accepted. If anyone can use one here let me know what and I'll start a new one.

Last week was chaotic and busy, but so far have averted all disasters although haven't had the damage to the car assessed yet. My friends who went abroad in 2002 are returning for the second time since, but only to get the visa to stay there, probably permanently. The seven years was not realistic as if you make it that long the roots have already gone too deep. Just the crumbs from now on then. Besides a quick booking tomorrow the week ahead is free so far, not necessarily at the time but would like a quiet one. The weekend was literally a washout if you look at today, sport all day on TV yesterday and a quick photo trip today, plus the gym and that was it. Since randomly finding the first two direction signs on Streetview since it began in March I've been doing that most of the time when home but simply eliminated vast areas of London. It has to be done though as they vanish monthly.

Again I have to trust the system as it stands, starting tomorrow. Not a clue if not raining, I'll probably look to see a blank area on the map and see what photos can be taken there. They'll run out sooner or later but will cross that bridge when I come to it. My school year started turning 50 last month and one by one we'll be falling till next august. I'm probably the only single one and one with no children, but I never followed the crowd. Business wise I was decades ahead as came naturally but women did not. Or exams, but I just had to have enough tuition to work out what to do before I was chucked out.
The unfortunate pattern I see though says the principles of inertia and stasis must rule everything besides the exceptions. That means people always act in their own interests when you need something from them, if they help you it's usually a coincidence as it helps them as well. People may want to see you but often only when they're bored. They will scrounge favours until they are on their deathbeds, not answer direct questions, forget to do things, and all the other selfish and unreliable things most people do every day.

This extends to groups, as they contain people who misbehave in unison, from governments to management groups. Power will nearly always be abused, the worst decisions made as they are for special interests only, and basically a culture of lying even in the face of the truth. Global warming exposes the worst of everyone, the evil bastards who steal our money in the cause, and the poor sods who still believe something anyone over 5 could work out if they took half an hour to analyse it. I have been forced to forge a personal path of truth and development separate from everything else, and the best I can do for others is teach by example. I am free of anger, the rare times it does come I am aware and know it can be taken or left. I stopped being affected by the end of relationships nearly 40 years ago for survival. If I can everyone can. And many more. Entropy is the trend of matter to destruction. If you leave anything long enough it decays. Some people learn not to behave badly but the ones I've tested recently failed every go.

So I expect nothing better, any more is a bonus but the woman last week was a leopard with spots like poor Steven Hendry's. There are a handful of good people I know and trust, but they are not politicians, my bosses, and rarely those who can pull strings in any of my projects. So I go it alone and each time the vast majority simply let me down, as although most would suffer little to help it's not in their repertoire to do so.

Naming and shaming, The South London Press, Dulwich Times (or whatever they call it), The Sun, Harrow Observer and Channel 4 on the media front so far, a whole website, the woman last week, her sister, both major parties in the UK (punish the sick? David Cameron should be struck down with a selection himself and then he'd understand), Barnet council (twice), a resident's association within it, Harrow School, Transport for London (half marks, they tried to help but my cat could have done a better job, even from the grave), Brent council, Hackney council, Southwark council, Spelthorne council highways department, and many more I can't think of at 3am.
There are flowers as well, such as Hertfordshire highways, but that is a different entry. And I'll never expect better now, the chances any of these guys getting you what you want are like throwing five sixes in poker dice.

Saturday, October 03, 2009


One of the busiest weeks for years. When you had chronic fatigue for 2 years being able to spend an evening in the pub is like climbing Everest would be for most people, so I am pleased I have managed it. It has been a complete spread of best and worst, with finding another well-hidden road sign, taking out a woman who's rejected me all but once over 14 years but went back for more, and had my car possibly wrecked by a hit and run.

My task now is to understand how the worst fits with the best, as with a spiritual view it's all part of the whole. It can't be guided for a few days and then stop, it has to either be all or nothing and I can't dismiss the guidance that's already imposed itself until I couldn't pretend it wasn't real. I have to look for the meaning in the bad, and step one is to see what it stopped me doing instead. I will see.
I'd also described how I'd tested a few people who let me down to see if they were usually like that or just strayed, and sadly they all failed my test. When a person turns bad you wonder if they were always like that and you were wrong or vice versa. Unfortunately these showed they were even worse than that and are now well fucked off. In power I always try and retrieve souls and they kill their competition. When lions kill the cubs fathered than others it makes me think many humans are really no better, they keep within the law and just do it technically. Not dead but may as well be. They won't learn from me and possibly at all, but development is about taking each wrinkle and ironing it out until they are all gone. Buddhism does this the best, but don't need to be one to use the teaching as I have.

My own evolution is growing as I have my assigned role now I am happy with, and when you can defend your position from doubters you affirm it is correct. I wanted to teach but as on the personal search for enlightenment didn't think anyone who isn't enlightened had the right to, but then I realised there is a lot more to teach to many more people who do need it. If I see one thorough sod who reforms thanks to my words that alone will grant me sainthood. Winning a figurative soul from the devil is the parable of the lost sheep, as every single one matters. The ones I just described are over the cliff though so out of my reach. I'd love to save more but know it's one of the hardest things on earth to claim an unwilling soul, the willing ones are over the line already when they ask for help.

Luckily vulgarity and humour are no stranger to teaching, humour is probably the highest energy below sex, and swearing is a way to get attention when used sparingly. It was not invented to be abolished like a disease, but you can have too much of everything when overused. And there are situations where anything less than a fucking bastard would be like calling AIDS a darn nuisance. Everything in its place. I was very pleased to see a dogshit story on Funtrivia as my sense of survival stopped me repeating the childhood stories post there. But shit is memorable and kids share a fascination with its occasional accidental release worldwide. Like motor racing accidents, no two are the same, so no two school stories about crapping in the classroom can ever become jaded as the varieties are infinite. Tony wiping it on the wall followed by Gary vainly attempting to deny the smell following him around for most of the day. Ten years later I saw him at a disco and it was 'Gary who shit in his pants'. Forty years later I saw him on Facebook, and wonder if he still remembers it as I still do. And yes, it happened to me as well so take as well as I give.

At least I continue to learn even if many I come across appear not to. Maybe the comfort of a wife and family does distract people from spiritual development as if everything's OK why think of more? That's the reason for monks and renunciates, but if you're on the path it won't then stop for anything that comes afterwards. If I was married I'd be talking about it even if she wasn't interested in it. I know plenty of couples like that. Thank goodness the internet now gives me the audience I'd never have had otherwise, even if the feedback seems to have dried up in the last few months. But I'm not embarrassed to state my role now as I am aware of it.