Friday, May 29, 2009

Wandering mind

I'm back again. It seems like a phase of little things at the moment, and I just read that it's not our circumstances that make us happy but pure chance in the moments when things allow us to feel as we should, and then teaches us to hold on to that whatever's going on. I will see. I've used the time to check more roads and go to Hampstead Heath and did discover a road with only old speed limits on (12 in all) which wouldn't be much of a big deal as they are all the same, but these were proper raised characters on 8 of them which I'd never seen before. So far the highlight of the week besides being able to read easily again and getting my hair cut (yes, I'm scraping the barrel now).

I will be painting a local sign after offering to do so, hopefully next week. It will be good to be able to read the lettering again. I also made a 3 minute video for Sky News who now accept videos on the case for carbon, as it has never had a fair trial with the climate Nazis. Sky is such crap it can't read one of the commonest video formats so had to put it on Youtube instead and will see what I can do to find a way for them to see it somehow. I'm still getting more teaching videos online, each maybe chipping away a bit more at the false ego until it finally lets go altogether. It seems to work in two stages. Firstly you become aware of yourself as the space rather than the body within it, keep doing that until that becomes who you are. Not yet.

Besides painting the sign I'm not really expecting a lot, someone did find another no through road sign in Clapham (would be my 11th) but one with cats eyes which is very rare. That should be on Sunday if not the following one. Back to the teaching it does seem whatever they teach they can't get people to change very easily whatever they get you to do. Some claim to know it all but we really seem to be made the way we are and besides the stories of success through years of constant effort we tend to revert to normal very quickly whatever insight or magical methods we use. I found environment plus people really did the most for me, and can't get that by choice as I can go anywhere I like but without the right people will be dead. Any effects I've had from meditation last ten minutes if I'm lucky, and each new trick I learn looks good to start with but I'm apparently the same whatever happens, which is our DNA really. I won't give up though just in case as I can't get worse, only get better if I actually get it.

I'm fully aware all my collecting is trying to recreate the 60s as they were the best years of my life. And no road humps, parking meters outside city centres and cars made for appearance rather than political considerations. The music and hippy movement moulded me very early on, and really everything was better made and designed with the technology as it was then. We now have the ability to do so much more but the hardware is cheap and nasty and falls apart very quickly. I don't want to see everything from the 60s I liked go completely. The people die off gradually of course, and when I see places look almost the same as then but the details soon give it away I do wonder why no one else makes the effort to keep some of the past alive as so many people would like it.
Of course I had the security of the family and lived in nice places with good friends around, and besides never getting a decent girlfriend for long and having exams every year till I was 24 life wasn't bad. So basically I see outer circumstances very much driving how I felt, whatever the teachers tell me. If my health is good and I'm not left on my own and given crap work to do then it's a good foundation. Take away each element and I react accordingly. But I continue to try and transcend that as it's the same for all of us and use every event to lead me to enlightenment. But before I'm too old to do much about it please.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Mental illness analysed

It was 955 posts already to the last one, not 916, they've really mounted up. Just get that correction out of the way. I was just reading something that reminded me how much Jewish humour is centred round mental illness. I said that people aren't bipolar, batteries are, but they fixed them when they started adding lithium. That is a typical example. Woody Allen made his millions purely by expressing neurosis, Seinfeld, the new series I love the Big Bang theory taking the mickey out of autistic spectrum disorders, and most of my own jokes since starting school. The world is a threatening place and anyone that sensitive reacts in ways that can only be joked about otherwise we'd all pack it in.

Jews don't get drunk as a rule, if they suffer they either complain or make jokes about it, usually a combination of both. I carry on this tradition and was so interested in mental health I made a profession treating it, as a calling. We are trained to see the funny side of problems so the sufferers can, although I don't laugh or make fart jokes as I would if not working. They do have boundaries. Maybe if I set myself up as the childish humour cure and made cracks about wetting pants, skid marks and opening the window maybe it would distract some people from their problems enough to distance themselves from them. Or maybe not. So I do it here instead. And everywhere else. But technically mental problems are only funny as an observer. If you have them they are no fun at all even when we make fun of ourselves. I'd rather not see crowds as threatening or travelling as a potential for disaster but if I can tell stories about looking for public toilets or queuing for hours to change flights home it can make it sound almost dramatic. In fact these experiences are hell, being stuck in any situation you can't escape is the ultimate driver of severe stress and easier to spend your life avoiding it rather than ever become immune to it, if that was even possible without tablets.

So although we can joke about counting cars and road signs and memorising phone and car numbers the actual reality is besides being able to recall lists from about the age of three, there is no other benefit in having a sharp mind as the rest means we notice every event and feeling and can't turn the reactions down. It also drives genius but in a world generally driven by averageness and mediocraty most people are prepared to put up with almost anything while we few can't bear the slightest discomfort, like the princess and the pea. But while royalty can just about escape the real world we are in the middle of it, and besides turning down 99% of invitations and avoiding half of the areas we live in then we are totally exposed to it all, worms and warts. But take away the heightened awareness and you become a zombie so hard to win. So make jokes about being stuck on the motorway, visiting psychiatrists, side effects of tablets etc but it's the price many of us seem to have to pay for our greater awareness of everything. Each time I read a list of famous sufferers from mental illness I wonder how many actually didn't have it.

So to conclude the story, my friends past and present include (at least) three bipolar, two psychotic depression, three paranoid schizophrenics, two depressives, an epileptic, an anxiety disorder, and probably quite a few more I've lost track of. Some also have none of the above and strangely enough tend to be the ones who disappear while the others are usually happy to hang around. I wonder if anyone else who hasn't actually met their friends in hospital as many do has the same collection or somehow I seem to have been fed these people, even though most had nothing wrong when I met them so can't say I had any part in it. I can't see my anxiety changing as it's no less part of me as my eyes, unless enlightenment is real and happens to me. Now if I became enlightened and kept it then I'd be a real curiosity, although I don't think it's meant to be possible to have both. Yet...

Friday, May 22, 2009

Current ambitions

Bugger me, I just looked back at the last entry and can confirm without checking it's the longest I've written (916 entries I think). No apologies as anyone can stop or come back to it if they want to, and find short entries far more irritating to read. 'I took the bus today and it was ten minutes late'. Yes, so? I've had books and essays rejected for being too short, publishers have minimum pages but not maximum so I think I've proved my point.

Things are OK at the moment, not wonderful but not bad. They have been a lot better, not for long and mainly interrupted first by annual exams (at least) and my mother leaving home, but far far better than now a lot of the time. I've picked up some tricks of course over the years like meditation but I'm little different generally besides older, wiser and more aware of all the hazards in life. The council and media replies are over apparently, and got a big fat zero, but I tried. Oh, one possible magazine for next year so just alive there. I have no plans left and only my new reading glasses and whether UKIP (our anti Europe and global warming party) do well in the forthcoming Euro elections. Of course they should have been limited to the music competition but we voted in and are stuck in the biggest nest of vipers since the last Roman Empire. As David Icke says, be aware of the evil and ignore it. No other way.

No actual plans, I Streetview all London's roads now with fewer and fewer old signs left to discover and nearly all the same ones each time, and covering the places outside as I did before on the roads as I did today. I got the no through road signs 8 and 9 along with a row of old 40 mph which of course are identical to every other. Very diminishing returns. I need one big break now to live again. Any one from:

A decent woman, a national newspaper article or TV appearance, a published book, a psychic power (beyond those I have), a step towards enlightenment and a council actually put in an old sign for me. All possible but not easy.

Getting a woman is easy for 99% of everyone I know so very mystified there, besides being the height of a 14 year old and now the hair of a baby (many start balding and end the same way), I'm pretty OK generally. I have reasonable manners, not at all bossy, spend money on women, and of course have two lines of letters after my name on A4 paper. But women are interested in men for their reasons, not mine. I do know if I make a toilet joke and they laugh the next stop is bed, but I haven't done that for ages. And I've had lots of women, but never the right ones for long enough to matter. There's one I caught up with from school who either posts old photos or is frozen in time, but appears to have all I need including possible availability. But as she's been in America for half her life since school then she may as well be married/dead/gay. One is gay and in Australia (as she was gay), and the rest are married or living so far away they may as well be. But they dumped me once and I won't find it from my past although many have.

The others are mainly career steps, logarithmic as each one is ten times less likely than the last. I'm really at the top level now as once you've got there you can't do better, only more which is easier as you've done it already. I've had three interviews already at that level so only need one to stick. 49 years of preparation so not exactly sudden. The psychic stuff is following my development, again the next levels are probably 100 times higher than existing but know many are possible if not all. I'm working on them as well.

I will otherwise just carry on alone and filling time till I die, which misses out the family life most people have and can see myself ending up like Barry George (the one who didn't kill Jill Dando) who is the same age and apparent social status of me. Besides having an IQ almost 100 points higher than him our lives are very similar. Loners living a fantasy world and being isolated from mainstream society despite living in London. No community to keep us busy like in small town life. And the only reason I haven't retried for Mensa now they've changed their rules is I'm scared I can't manage it any more. My mind flowed freely at 11 and has far more in the way and less energy than then. You can't overscore an IQ test but can easily mess one up which is why they allow retakes. My dry runs so far have mainly gone 5-10 points too low, with one just above the line. All done under test conditions from proper test papers so pretty marginal. One fucking letter was all there was between me and a social life and a little badge but no. I didn't know Mensa existed at 11 and had little use for a high IQ score as then exam results were all that counted. The psychologist told us the result, spoke to my mother and we left. She sent something to my headmaster who then wrote to my mother but on no paper we could find did anyone write the result. Someone else who worked there said she didn't remember them giving written results which is like passing your driving test without a certificate. It's like being in bloody Italy...

Anyway, those are my current ambitions, with few if any plans to get them done besides meditation as usual. That covers them all ultimately as gets you everything (also in the bible as the kingdom of God), but as that is the hardest task of all I can only point myself in the direction of the others and see if I get there. And before I'm 70 if possible while I can use it.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Current spiritual progress

Freedom is a good place to start, tomorrow and ahead are free although little known besides house/garden work and Streetviewing to fill it so far. As my dad's car misbehaved today I took my grandma shopping and had all mine bought for me as a result. I won't be eating like a pauper for a few weeks now so a good result for all. My reading glasses will be here in a week or so, and just in time as I'm struggling a bit with the old ones. I can read (except a few maps so far) but it's easy to make mistakes and relatively hard work.

Besides that I streetviewed what is the weirdest sign so far, as you can see (besides being wooden which is plain wrong), is almost all in the old style but has no boxes round the writing or anything written (ie no entry) in the little sign, although there is no room for it. It looks like one of the ones made just after the new rules when makers were used to the other type and still made the new ones using the old features. Someone will know. There has been no direction signs on yellow though since the change and capital letters only slip in by chance while they were only used in old ones. There was no missing link between old and new but this is a one off.

Meanwhile the satsang is continuing on Youtube, while my mind understands more and more what enlightenment is I am still waiting to see it happen. One teacher confirmed my first and best view of it which few have mentioned since, but maybe they aren't actually enlightened either as to me if it's not a big deal it's not enlightenment. Just a minor shift in awareness can be done with all sorts of drugs and means nothing. Schizophrenics get them all the time and none have recommended them to anyone. But true enlightenment has always been a big deal and the teachers who say it wasn't really much at all yet still want us to follow must be missing something. Some disregard kundalini although that's the one area we can all feel with a bit of work. Once you know it exists it's the same as being clairvoyant, you are now experiencing your senses doing things you hadn't thought they couldn't so realise the potential below what we're normally aware of. Most people never experience it as without teaching we're unlikely to spin the combination by chance.

I am at that stage (since 1991) where I do something clever spiritually and return to normal, meaning whatever I do manage makes no difference to my life besides the knowledge it is now possible. I can turn on clairvoyance at will, get meditation highs and kundalini rushes sometimes (but wear off as fast as a decent joint, not that I do), and saw auras with an energy push from my teacher apparently with her effort transferred to my vision. Then 99.9% I am as I was before, wondering why if I can see auras at all then it isn't all the time like many people I know. I'm very happy to see the higher frequencies and see smoke around plants and lights around people, it's like being in fairyland. These are only distractions on the path to enlightenment though and that's the double first of the spiritual path, we all aim for it and only a few get it. But unlike lower seconds (my own degree and bloody hard earned that was) it seems if you don't get the lot you get nothing on the way or instead. You can't be slightly enlightened, it either happens or not. It can come for a short time and go, which is the only clues I know beforehand people have, but although I sat next to someone when it happened to him in 1998 nothing like that happened to me.
Unlike in 2003 when a teacher said I was a hobby disciple or whatever he called it, I have more time and interest now and as my practice can be done anywhere if I'm awake I do it a lot more than before when I didn't have a specific method. Mind you it took him 17 years so by that token I'm about due now. Nowadays I don't see anyone on the path like I used to. Most will never get anywhere as they appear to have filled their brains with holes from drug use over many years, while others talk the talk as they memorise the teachings and change not one bit. You only need a good teacher as it's not a team effort, you don't get inspired by other students, but gives us something to talk about besides the other stuff. My life has changed admittedly, and if enlightened the outside and inside world are the same, so technically if anything changes it's you. First the phases (which still happen) of similar things and identical words and phrases witnessed by everyone who saw me, and now the guidance, which went quiet for a week but seems to be coming back in smaller ways again now.

If it continues then I can add that it has partly been guided by me. I saw 'The Secret' a while back and did make the first aim on the list (a big one) followed by another pretty soon after that. If you've read it, the guidance began finding me 3 old signs on one trip as the route I took made me pass one I'd passed many times and never seen, and another as I made a tiny mistake and saw it on the road it was not the one I was told it was on next to it. Since then the big business one worked followed by many more signs including the red triangle one I needed the most for the complete set. The after 3 years my last TV programme went live online.

That means between my wishes and the guidance (no use if it doesn't correspond with them as it's just normal life then) I'm now waiting for a newspaper article and a decent woman for a start. Another red triangle sign or two within 20 miles, and at least one apology/change of decision from certain people who have treated me worse than a serial rapist or murderer. The punishments weren't the same but the attitude they had was.

That is my list now, and will add the gaps between waiting should reduce as they did since this all started. If not then even if they all do but three years pass it won't be so different from normal. Barely any time at all now, and instant karma is another sign as well as synchronicity. I feel the same but outside is definitely different. The profit so far is peace of mind, lack of effort driving miles for new signs any more, but little else. An article should get a few old faces back in my life just as when my friend's brother was on the radio and a pile of old friends caught up as a result as he moved without telling anyone. Producers also begin to pay people once they've reached a certain level, and being in a national paper is a big step towards that status. The woman is self explanatory, and the apologies would both rearrange the energy and the faith I have that people can't be as bad as that. Plus it would get me back one or two of the things I lost as a result.

Tomorrow and beyond are good opportunities for this to start, no delay is involved as I said, and as guided no logic either as the whole of my world has to be arranged for each result to happen. It's no different to getting things the usual way either, it's not cheating but how we should really all live now. And probably always but we may have lost it somehow. All this suffering to get pleasure just means it evens out and we get zero overall as the price we pay usually equals any benefit we get so no profit in the end. If we are donated everything we can still work, learn and help others but there won't be any suffering involved. There really is no need to earn anything in life, that's just what bosses tell you so you don't object to working for them. I didn't stop studying when I qualified, I just studied what I wanted to instead. It's the same for work, I've done plenty of what would be considered work since I lost my regular job but as I rarely get paid for it and never do the same thing two days/hours running but people who write articles, paint and take photos and get paid for it are considered to be working. You see how it's just a matter of perception? Yes, we can qualify in a field or two, but can split that with many other things we don't need to study for.
Anyway, you're all losing concentration now so I won't add yet more ideas and concepts, and hope the guidance brings larger prizes very soon.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Daylight robbery by taxation

Today's challenge is to write something original. I was actually busy all week besides a much needed day off on Wednesday, got my eyes tested and took lots of photos. I also suspect all my paintings are sold as they are not in the gallery, but haven't heard from the boss yet. But same result if they've lost them but would rather someone actually wanted to pay for them. I have a set of towns to drive in Surrey as they're not on Streetview and may have something of interest as a county which has kept tradition in many roads. The email reply situation seems dead now, not one got me anything besides a possible on a magazine next year, which could open the door to a writing career so pretty important if works.

Other areas are probably under the wider umbrella of focusing on the present, even the days I run out of ideas the internet's there and have two articles to finish as well when it's quiet. I've had to accept I have no social life after the first 42 busy years, after which my last regular friend emigrated and my new girlfriend was locked up in hospital. The remaining weirdos and bores were gradually dropped leaving me with family and little else at the moment, and I've adapted as well as anyone can. People come and go as they please and someone will turn up sooner or later who is around for the long stay. Most friends have lasted 20-30 years on average so only need a few. But being single at my age means the couples treat me like I treat the other singles who are so through lack of social skills. It's a bit of a ladder with each level avoiding the one below it. My status will have to come from my abilities, and that needs the media or some sort of miracle to make them known by the public.

I know some of my talents simply as I can see how few people understand what seems bloody obvious to me, or easy to discover with a little effort. Most people are so wrapped up in prejudices they can't accept the truth and I don't try and waste much time trying to get through them. My communication is purely from training as my essays were woolly and forced to shape up or ship out in the 2nd year of college. Once I got the hang of paragraphs, beginnings, middles and endings, and supporting arguments I was able to present my knowledge. So a writing career is ideal as the tens of thousands of words I've written for essays and still do mean I'm keeping it warm the whole time and even if I make mistakes am usually aware of them and can correct them. And the number of lies many people believe means there's a huge audience I am obliged to play to as I don't want to be ruled by liars. I know people won't reduce the power they use if taxed as do the politicians. That's why they tax it. If people did reduce the usage they'd tax something else as they'd lose revenue otherwise. The climate is as important to most politicians as it is to me as an issue, but as long as most people don't bother to check the facts they will continue to rob us based on these lies.

Does anyone want to be robbed? If no violence is used then telling us they must extract our incomes for climate change is no different from taking money from bank accounts by hacking. They are more honest as they don't pretend they're doing it for charity. Why emotion prevents enough people from realising climate change is not real beats me. They ignore the reasons for increased amounts leaving their pay packets every month and going on petrol and gas, and blindly accept it's to stop climate change. King Canute sat in front of the waves not to try and stop them but prove he couldn't. That was many years ago and we still can't. We can't make the climate better or worse. It can't be done. Volcanoes, ocean currents, and most of all the sun can do that very well and cows farting and people using light bulbs can't compete with that on any scale. 3% of CO2 emissions, and CO2 is not proven to cause the greenhouse effect (who tells you that apart from people on the internet?). NASA know as their Aqua satellite found it isn't doing so, as well as enough calculations that show we'd need a heck of a lot more than 0.04% to do anything even if it can be done. Human beings can't do that.

Now if you see someone being mugged you'd want to help if you could, so what's the difference with trying to help them being mugged by politicians? They can't knife us so we haven't any excuse not to fight them verbally with facts, something they are very happy to keep to their own circles and rarely share with the public. But the internet means facts are now freely available and as old books confirm CO2 hasn't gone up as it was the same in 1961 as it is now tells me the foundations are built on no more than CO2 and nothing solid. The trick they used (in case anyone questions my own veracity) is that CO2 in the atmosphere is variable. There is no 'right' amount. The normal range for memorable history is 0.02-0.04%. They took a lower figure for the 60s and then the maximum for the 2000s which is an increase of about 60%. The fact the normal range covers 100% is no longer added, creating the view it's gone mad and the fact they then assume it's our fault is a story even the wolf would have been proud of. You know the one I mean, the one who said he was grandma, and then all the kids who shouted 'wolf!' until the day he really came no one believed them. People, you are all being robbed and I am the police. I know it even if you don't.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Another week of freedom

It's still pretty quiet but by my own efforts I've got a little bit going (including someone else sharing the driving) although only the barest minimum. After finding a second version of Hampstead Garden Suburb in Ealing I went and saw it on Friday, and wondering if there were more went to Guildford on Sunday (as only London's on Streetview) looking for old signs (it had one already so a target) and although no more were seen I then found another HGS I'd never have seen otherwise, including one road with the same name. I then found there was an A road in Surrey right round the furthest edge I'd missed and got a lift up there by my father and did find two identical signs although just the number of the road and no place mentioned. Another headroom sign popped up in Mayfair last week (I have a pair of 15' 6'' headrooms from Hackney) but did it on the way home yesterday as easy at night and now have a 9' 9'' which looks brand new even though 45-75 years old. Not like me then. And finally today I had been told there was a red triangle sign lurking in south Herts. but he'd forgotten where, so covered a few more nearby villages and half of Potters Bar and just found another (#7) no through road sign, although with stuck on letters rather than the usual cast iron, which I discovered arrived in 1953, ten years before the signs were stopped.

So I keep Streetviewing, have no plans ahead full stop but managed to work something out day by day so far. I have still found officials to email for various favours and had fuck all out of them besides hearing about one sign I knew already. But expecting more when you're not paying them and it's not part of their job descriptions is fantasy. Due to the amount of teaching now on Youtube I'm doing my active meditation a lot more now as I keep being reminded of it, which may eventually have an effect. I know it can either work gradually and you'll see the changes, or build up and happen suddenly. As I've seen no gradual changes in 13 years I hope whatever work I've done is building up somehow.

Tomorrow and the rest of my life is an open book, I must get an eye test now as the small print is becoming less discernable now and will miss something soon if I don't get it sorted out. I may see if he's free tomorrow or Thursday as there's no longer a single better thing to do, today was sunny all day and spent a couple of hours in the car driving to the country. That's three days running and have some very nice other photos besides the signs to show for it. But besides a woman and fame enlightenment is the true way out for people like me who know it's an option. Now I see so many similar stories from the teachers and explanations it must be sinking in deeper and deeper and may eventually take me over as well. If it's real then it ought to. It's meant to be part of evolution and while our bodies have changed (and probably not for the better) our minds now need to. So far it's been demonstrated the Buddhist view all pleasure is temporary is true, so you need something permanent instead and that is the only thing that is. I could take the hard way, do weird and wonderful practises to break the ego every day, or just do the active meditation anyone can do. They wouldn't all recommend it if it didn't work as well as others. Mantras scramble the brain as well as the mind and if I want a passive meditation to do mine takes an hour already and shouldn't mess it up by doing extra ones, which are not supposed to be done.

Well I really hope something decent happens this week after the months of pushing I've done. Having a TV programme online is a start as no one can miss it. The fact I need to tell every bloody individual personally as Sky have apparently failed to mention it (unless it's in their magazine which only satellite viewers get) but won't get very far with web TV if no one besides the participants realise it's there. It is the first so just being part of that is something, unless it flops totally and no more are done (50-50 I think). Presumably that would mean it would make sense to put it back on real TV so won't lose if that happens. It's officially on Sky2 now but that gets a fair number of viewers although no ads on hoardings.
But the effort I've made searching out and emailing officials, after planning what to say and present both facts, law and appeals to their better nature (no comment) really deserves more than the bin. But so do my articles, interviews and offers to women but it never stopped them going there...

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Time to retire

I am hoping having been led to all the first set of aims that I will now reach the next level up, the big time. If someone's had a long ordeal and decided they now want a quiet life they no longer look for excitement and variety but are happy where they are. Peace is valued above all and I have reached that stage. I've visited 10 countries (Ireland to come I hope), seen 74 football matches (still do a few locally), seen huge names at the theatre, a few concerts, etc etc. Now I am happy with a quiet life in NW London with as little stress as possible and decent people around me. Rather than actual work I'll pursue a freelance media career now, unpaid unless offered and mainly from home wherever possible. Four afternoons filming TV programmes here started it off, now all been on, and hope for many more. Articles written are now being distributed to anywhere suitable rather than obscure professional journals. I'm doing what I can.

Why people should retire when they're past it has always been pointless to me, like offering someone sex when it's worn out. Better you should retire around 50 and if you want to do part time work later on it's up to you. The creative power of doing things for pleasure is far greater than doing what you have to with little left over for anything else. I was forced into a life of leisure as described already, and suited me fine. It's only that no one else (besides a few crazies) are available during the day, and the normals are all with their nuclear families (radioactive?) while not working, treating the singles after 30 as if they have AIDS. There's no village life in Europe's biggest conurbation, just roads and buildings for 30 miles in every direction. Plenty of opportunities to find old signs and little else. I am better off using the dead time working for enlightenment as each new teacher explains it in the same way and really if you work at it enough something should happen, even a little change. Then the rest really doesn't matter so much. If I become rich enough I'd have a little commune at home where any hippies could drop in and reexperience the 60s away from one of the hardest and toughest societies since ancient Rome.

I've seen it decline since about 1975, from the end of the hippy era to the start of Thatcherism, and then the even worse New Labour, not even honest enough to admit they simply change policies to stay in power. But there are only two rulers now, the EU and global warming. Between them they hold the reins like Stalin across the western world, lying to masses who accept every word they say, with the intelligentsia and independents condemned like under the cultural revolution and encouraged to burn their books, at least metaphorically. Because of the internet they can't hide the truth however and when Pen Hadow confirms the Arctic ice survived the last warm period (really warm) the latest garbage about sea level rises will vanish into the hole it crawled from. How the public swallow this diet of filth for this long, with all the clear lies exposed, beats and depresses me totally. I can't exactly hide my IQ as I had it tested, but surely the bloody obvious can't be perceptible only to Mensans? Or am I wrong?

I've spread the truth online for 8 years now and can do no more without repeating myself unless new data arrives, which it does constantly as more figures are measured by the honest. 0.036% of the atmosphere is CO2, we create 3% of it. As the Yanks say, you do the math.

I'm rarely around elsewhere online besides my photos at the moment as Streetviewing every road in London in case I find more old signs. It can't be done casually as they are being removed steadily. It is relaxing and interesting and free so better than driving the streets as I did before. My sign trips have extended from Aldershot to Hertford to Crystal Palace and Brockley, and if places outside London and Surrey had more I'd carry on. But I've got plenty of direction signs and a fair selection of others but any more will be nice. But it won't last a lot longer and a new project needs to turn up somehow. None of the attempts I've made have got me a thing so far, no new signs discovered by councils or old ones saved. No media work on the system either but rarely is. I know there has to be potential but not sure how to find it. Yet.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Gone too damn quiet

So far the system's still working well, I had another convoluted direction towards one of the rarest signs in Britain, from looking at a couple of speed limits, finding a lane direction sign, finding its pair on Streetview and returning for it as in better condition, and finally on the way home seeing (as I was stopped at traffic lights) an old No Entry sign (the one with the words on it). As the paint had worn off it was only as the size was a bit bigger for the space I thought it may be different, looked closely and saw the magic writing. Since Pinewood Studios took theirs out the only known other left was in Cornwall. And now near me. A good start.

I still need more. Having a good sign collection is nice but doesn't change life. Getting back one I'd missed is even better, but now it seems I need the next guidance to something that will improve my normal life as well as collecting objects. The main way to improve is to become enlightened, which is outside my control past doing what I'm taught. Beneath that is the psychic powers that make life a lot more interesting by seeing auras and whatever else is under our normal threshold of vision. No doubts there as I've done it, but like an old man so far can't keep it up. How do you find an old man in the dark? Feel around, it won't be hard. Anyway, that is personal development I'm always working on, and beneath that is the unreliable, people. I need more people around me, women, friends and the like. And a media job that gets me known. I've reached the level just beneath actual fame, as I've watched what happens at each level and a national paper or TV station does the trick nowadays as they tend to lead to more. And that brings all the people and other stuff with it that would change things a lot.

Currently I get something good and nothing changes, I've got it and am bored again as my life is the same. I'm slightly better off financially (quite a bit actually) as well which saves me worrying about that now, and am viewable on webTV 24/7. Sky One Abduct Me episode 3. No plans to go on satellite TV but would be a waste not to. First ever made for web programme. In the UK anyway, no idea elsewhere. All my friends are in it. But most are south of the river John, including that zone of exclusion called Kent. So we speak regularly but rarely meet. But we've done four programmes together now so a pretty good team. Five of us altogether, all brought together by Nick Pope and are known by the big names in the US now as they've been in the programmes with us. One who hasn't been on now spends weeks there meeting them all and has made personal friends of them. I have here for some time although now I work with Nick the others have mainly dropped off for various reasons, but can still keep in touch if I need to. It's a small community altogether as psychic research has few devotees so we tend to meet the same ones every time.

So I'm streetviewing now in case, found what may have been an old dual carriageway sign but there's nothing on the pole. Nothing more yet besides a couple more headroom signs bang in the middle of London. As I have a pair already it's avoidable, except each has a different height. Nerd City Arizona. If I stop looking for signs besides finishing my article and doing gardening there's bugger all else to do except meditate. Becoming a total hermit from necessity may provide the breakthrough I need but I'd probably end up on the internet instead. It's almost the modern equivalent of wanking except you do actually learn something. The current situation is that I've collected a heck of a lot this year but when I'm not collecting I'm apparently nowhere new. I know more or less what I'd like to happen now but in fact a lot of the last few weeks was presented to me. Besides one sign the others weren't from looking, they just turned up when I needed them. That's fine as besides my exams that's how most things have, but takes away most of my control over it. If I was 25 I'd be accused of being impatient, you'll get it all if you keep going and wait. But I'm almost twice that and people are getting grandchildren already for christ's sake. I haven't even lived with a woman for more than a couple of weeks (of hell, my idea to end it). Having relatively direct access to pussy is not enough to make life sweet, you need the right person and frankly the right pussy, and had neither. The next pussy was a tabby one and stayed nearly 9 years, but clearly a different relationship was present there.

Every other gap since the force took over hasn't lasted very long, usually less than a day. Tomorrow has one possible plan which unless Streetview misled may provide something of interest by Heathrow Airport, except the last interesting sign I could read was gone when I went there. Beyond that is irrelevant and will be known about Tuesday. I am free at least, no work bookings yet after the frantic day last week when they were all crammed in with a trip to Edmonton between them. Wednesday was getting my grandma's house ready for her return from hospital and most of Thursday getting her fixed up when she arrived after a photo trip. Friday was very little until I went out at night and found the No Entry sign, which I took during the day on Saturday and saw a heap of old signs in the local history section in the library. But it's hard to trust a vacuum until it gets filled besides the pattern being followed till now.

So I think tomorrow's taken care of, a speculative trip and no more, and not a difficult one. No councils have delivered more than an apology so far but I am asking a heck of a lot. Had it been 10-20 years earlier I could have swept this up in a month as the signs were everywhere, although didn't have the internet to tell me where most were so have to drive every junction directly. But I have for most roads anyway as I've found lots not online so not so different. The week ahead is currently freedom, I will be happy to stay it, finish my articles and the gardening. Any more will be a bonus but my reading glasses are becoming a bit inadequate and must get that checked before I bugger up more quizzes. As my distance prescription goes more minus the reading will go more plus. Old age of course. But still very good with the correction so not complaining there.
I do have a list of 'preferences' like a national paper article, dragging up a woman from the past or present, and all the others I mention constantly. I do deserve them and whatever work I don't do now I did in the past where others may not have. Tomorrow is another day and I think I'm covering an area I may never have been to before. Probably as there's no reason to go there.