Our prison and how to escape

I've pretty much decided fate has stepped in, and if Grace (the one who wanted to marry me but do nothing otherwise, and has major problems) is all there is (whatever I've done to bring in new material) and she doesn't send me running for the exit like the other offers made over the years and improves over time I may as well keep going. It's nothing like I wanted or expected from a relationship (actually a marriage as that's the only relationship she's having) but then again how many people marry someone thinking it is and find otherwise sooner or later?

Which leads me to today's lesson (I haven't much activity to report, but can use what there was for it), and it's not a personal one about me, but an example everyone can use. For the lucky few who are happy with all aspects of their lives, they've probably got there already without even realising how. But how many can really say that? I always put our lives as a prison, each cell being provided with different facilities and each prison having different people and freedoms within it, and we must make the most of them but know we cannot leave so that is our life for the forseeable future.

Obviously the one difference is prisons only have single sexes, but then again so does my life so pretty similar in that area as well for some of us. The women we all see around us don't count as they have female staff in most male prisons, but they are not for the pleasure of the inmates, as are none of the women around me with rare exceptions. The interesting part begins when the prison authorities start to change the rules and facilities, and one day you get a colour TV, or lose some priviliges. This is random stuff which evens out over time. The guidance then begins when your release time comes close, and you start being prepared for the outside world, with maybe day releases or full access to the garden. It's nothing about what you've done, these things happen and someone is doing it. Some even get released altogether, but only in books and anecdotes, and no one even can be certain there is a world outside as all they are aware of is their prison.

Human beings have prison guards and governors, but they never see them or even know who they are. It's either like a joint effort, where a million people buy a lottery ticket and one wins, or one sided where you dig up the money when doing the garden. The guidance comes when you are supposed to be going to an arrangement, it's cancelled, you find out after you've left and make a detour to do some shopping, realise it's lunchtime and go somewhere you'd never been to before as you're in an area you'd never normally stop but the call came half way there not to carry on and that was where you turned round, see a cafe over the road, go for a meal, and are about to leave when someone phones and delays you for ten more minutes. They are about to hang up and an old girlfriend you hadn't seen for 20 years walks in who's come back home to visit her family after moving abroad, and she's just got divorced and no longer has a reason to stay there, you get talking, exchange numbers and it takes off.

Now take every single step on that story. If one single element had not taken place you wouldn't have met her, as you never go to that area and she was going back abroad later that week. You basically had to be in that exact spot at that exact moment or nothing would ever have happened. You can't arrange that by chance many times, and when it starts happening for different gifts, large and small, over and over again, you realise it can't be random any more, that wouldn't make sense. And if it's not random then someone must be controlling it, it couldn't happen otherwise.

Spiritual development July 2012

Time to catch up with the spiritual development. I've spent the year from spring onwards (due to the long days) working on my photo project, and now covered enough of the map to be satisfied, and means I can now both relax locally again and work on myself. This involves being constantly directed from one situation to another, mainly to give me the chance to learn how to deal with them and occasionally to reward me.

I know where I'm aiming, probably higher than 99.9r% of the population, but because I'm not satisfied with the alternative. I don't want to react to anything any more. Masters have no response at all to news at all, good or bad, but are at peace. You can enjoy the good stuff but no longer affected by the outside as if it actually matters personally. You can access this for moments through meditation and it can happen, you are so calm you know anything could occur and it wouldn't make any difference. I would rather have that all the time now. I'm adding new methods the whole time now I've found a decent teacher who emphasises the powers over enlightenment, as few reach enlightenment but anyone can learn powers one at a time. I now see auras most times when I try, despite seeing them very clearly a few times when with my teacher and a few without. That all but stopped after I stopped lessons 20 years ago, and finally able to do it again albeit rarely as bright so far but happy to see anything at all.

The stress level is always tested after a few day's relief at most. That's the string of situations where I must learn not to react. That's like telling someone not to eat the meal in front of them when they're hungry. I'm being tested now at the highest level, being made to attempt to challenge and ignore the survival instinct itself. It does mean I've covered every other level, but until you beat the devil nothing changes inside, you don't yet feel any different to before but have learnt how to handle everything else besides the worst. I don't even know if the last level is possible besides hearing it from others, but can't do very well otherwise. My patience does wear out at times as my ultimate aim is to reach the end (again, so I've been told) and am running out of energy to handle more tests as like anything else the more you do, like driving miles for my photos, the more you wear out. No teacher pushes the student further than they can manage or it's wasting everyone's time, so am hoping I reach the stage where outside events compensate for the dreadful ones. I don't want or need to be perfect, for example I simply don't care if I ever sit in an audience or go on a holiday again. I've literally been there done that to the maximum and now content without ever doing either. I don't want some new age therapist saying I can't make it until I can happily do everything I can't, as you'd have people picking up spiders and snakes and jumping with parachutes before they could even prepare for enlightenment. We're not designed to be perfect, we are human and have a list of things we can and can't do for everyone, and no one becomes enlightened because they've learnt how to cope with everything life can throw at them. That's not just a psychological process but physically impossible as no one is made to do that, ask yourself what I can't do and you can, and then think what I may do and you can't, it probably evens itself out in nearly all the examples.

So I'm not attempting the impossible by trying to fix nearly all my issues, as a few I know try and make me do, I am however being presented with the regular challenges to my sanity by events arriving I would far rather not attend but know I need to or miss out on something as a result, ie paying a HUGE fucking price for something I need but technically can't afford. It's the same as offering a starving man a sandwich for £10,000 and expecting them to pay or die, but not quite as clear cut. Referring to my point, no teacher ever makes the lessons that tough, but like weightlifting you must work your way up gradually so no single step is too much. I know my boundaries and of course life crosses them for everyone, but I can see how it's being done to me now as a pattern and wonder what I need to do (the teaching says we ought to be able to take over the control as an adept) to stop it. Adeptship comes before enlightenment, and many stop there as the power is almost omnipotent and leaves little desire to continue to full liberation. In the end you get bored with writing your own script and want to release from the outside world altogether, and you are liberated, but may be some time to do so.

My greatest gap is feeling the same now as I started 21 years ago. The day after I left college and started my spiritual classes I picked up the basics in clairvoyance and meditation very quickly and never got much further. I can tune in better and more reliably now (that's just practice) but still feel like shit when life is, and get extremely little from any meditation I do. I am clearly being guided, if not all but most of the time, as I see the clues more and more now, but so far have been on the train 21 years and yet to reach the first station. That's not impatience, quite the opposite, as many people give up at that point. I didn't, half because I don't want to stay as I am, and half because I've been given enough gifts from outside to know I've earned something, but those are like Christmas presents, they are nice when they arrive but your life is the same the next day. Nothing yet to change my life, and it seems if the outside world reflects the inner world mine is stuck, all the outer situations, the politics and people's attitudes in general have reached rock bottom, with criminal psychopaths in charge and a majority of simple minded fools underneath who believe they're all father christmas while having their pockets picked by them. Having taught myself how 21st century politics works and posted it here I and many people know the truth, but we're the high IQ brigade, and the nature of high IQ is it's only distributed in a minority, those who are outvoted.

Until the fraud and corruption is exposed and punished we are stuck with vast prices and restrictions on our lives, and it's as if my life and the world's are both stuck and can't free ourselves of the dark energy. Personally you detach and no longer affected whatever the energy outside, but as above so below each is simply a reflection of the other, so when one breaks the other will follow as linked. So I look at my own life and see it stuck, and outside. And know when either shifts the other will as a result. But can they ever do that at all?

Recent activity

Firstly the politics. It has become clear there is a standard pattern for wrongdoing. First someone notices, then someone complains, then they are sacked or bribed (or possibly killed) for doing so, then it leaks out, then the insiders know and tell others who don't believe them, and eventually it becomes common knowledge, like Barclays Bank fixing the libor rate. Considering they both did it for over 5 years without let or hindrance, and all in the know say it was on government and Bank of England orders then it sets a standard example. The worst part is the mafia and other organised crime is endemic throughout history, but only lasts so long as so many people around them allow it to once discovered. In fact they are worse than the original criminals as anyone without a conscience will commit a crime given the chance, but when anyone witnesses one and refuses to act they are encouraging it, which to me is worse as they have become willing secondary parties.





Mount Pleasant Villas

Back to personal life, my freedom is now the result of completing my photo mission, with none left under 60 miles now and all optional. Last week was just over 60 and the furthest yet, and have another planned soon. The first local trip since then was on uncharted territory (by yards) as I remembered the old railway line south hadn't been covered from Highgate to Finsbury Park, so did that and will add some photos if this eventually allows me to. Besides the next photo trip it's pretty much planning a day at a time again, and so far the usual excitement is ahead, including a trip to the local dump and doing the garden. I see it as a lesson to remember I am free and should make the best of it regardless of how boring and stressful it inevitably gets. The usual arrangements I'm not interested in, nagging, and whatever else is par for the course in all our lives are still going on, and have to deal with them without having things ruined for me in the process. Still seeming things are guided more and more people report the same experiences around me, so that means I should trust it hasn't stopped and whatever gaps there are are still sending me in the right directions.

As far as the news goes it's just crumbs as always, a British winner in the Wimbledon men's doubles and Barclay's being caught for cheating. I can't think of any more as something bad not happening isn't news as you haven't gained anything, so only profit counts and you don't watch the news for that normally. No aliens revealed or carbon taxes repealed, or countries leaving the Euro. Of the three I expect one country will abandon a carbon tax following an election, but the domino effect doesn't work there as each is independent, unlike a collective like the Euro or all or nothing situation like proof of aliens. I said ages ago they can't allow a country to leave the Euro and it is now sailing through the storms without a single casualty. It's not about money, they can supply as much of that as they need as it's all ours and they can remove it freely, so however poor the economies become they won't allow them to break free.

So I am in a vacuum at the moment, between one project and the next, and at least have the time to meditate again which is the solution for everything if it works. I only know it works occasionally for a few minutes, but the aim is to extend that to most of the time.

I'm still here

Have you missed me? I was just reminded I'd lost track how long I'd been here, although in my defence I have been posting on the connected blog which is purely technical not anecdotal. I'd still add regularly but things have changed, few read here nowadays and even fewer post, and almost no one comments. That is no incentive to produce more if it feels no one is taking any notice, so I keep the regular blog here now if anyone still wants to keep up. They lost their blog format some time ago but still have the material there. My other blog But I've been far busier in real life as my photo project to cover as much of the south of England has been every week or so and now covered as much of the map grid as planned, with just distance records now when I get the chance. They all need locating exactly so when you've spent a day on the road you then need another day on the computer getting them all on.

My other blog here is my work priority (voluntary that is) as now it's written and complete the easy work is to spread it until enough people know to stop it. If I'm lucky (and the world, it's for everyone's benefit if not directly involved) eventually a media outlet will adopt it and do the work for me, as it's a complete picture of how the international mafia (led by David Rockefeller) runs the world with the knowledge of a handful of people. Even though in true mafia style they admit it and boast about it in the open while the media take no notice and leave it to people like me to do it instead.

So since last time I've covered Essex and south Cambridgeshire, including some old red triangle warning signs meaning I've now completed all within 50 miles except a couple similar I couldn't find when out, and generally far more active now my energy has rturned to closer what it ought to be at my age, although much less compared to most. But once you've done a few and managed OK it becomes more of a routine and more to come. I'm still meditating of course and will have more time to now, and using many from Higher Balance which are the closest to what I was aiming for originally. They work just enough to know they are genuine. For the first time in ages yesterday's now annual school reunion had half the class below me as was organised by someone, so wasn't the same couple of people I didn't bother with before (they were there but didn't need to take any notice) plus one or two random others if I was lucky. I didn't take the camera after the last few years but everyone else took photos and am waiting for them now. Meanwhile here is the most remote place on the east coast you can take a photo before the road stops.

If you try and leave the road an go beyond you may risk getting shot, and very few people have going by the lack of other photos.