Thursday, February 17, 2005

Days in Kingsbury

Sometimes it's the ordinary little things you do locally that count to the quality of life, and somehow I am beginning to appreciate the normal world of North-West London as somewhere to be. Of course, it would be infinitely better if I wasn't on my own, but one thing at a time...
So, apart from work which can be overlooked in my blog at least, it's been a pretty typical week so far of little jobs and climaxed with a late trip to Tesco's before I came in tonight. Yes, that's basically it here sometimes, except to add the great LBC presenter David Prever said recently he uses the same branch, so at least I felt I was walking in the footsteps of the stars. But as my friend took him to work on his first day there, he trumped me with that, but I think I beat him overall with my surprise appearance on big brother. To be honest, I won't really feel like I've made it till I'm the one people say they've met. And believe me, I suspect I have a thousand times more chance of that happening as getting married. I am not (as some might say) mouthing off bollocks here, as I do actually have a few possible routes to fame of some degree, and as I have chosen from about the age of 14 to follow that path (after my studies though, which is why it hasn't happened so far) I am doing whatever I can now to get there if I can.

More trivia (it was that or not post for another few days, and I know how I feel when I don't see other people's blogs update for ages), I am using the spare days in the rain we've had for doing long-awaited housework, of the clearing out and tidying away sort. Being alone, I need my entertainment in the form of objects, and reached the point where the house became very close to the museum of shops in Eastbourne, only more crammed full. Whatever you have in your house, it's people that count, so things alone mean very little and are now being thinned out, after collecting all my life.

Finally, I have been told much of my writing implies I'm usually fed up with life. If so, it's just a phase, and only reflects the lows in a larger view of ups and downs. I think, like the news, it just somehow feels more pressing to share the ordinary and crap stuff unless something really major happens in the way of good news. Plus moaning, when done properly, can become an art form, and I've done that all my life, partly as some people find it entertaining, so it became a habit. But in the past, life round here and before Kingsbury was pretty good. OK, I only appreciated the family home fully after some years away, but looking back, apart from the family 'situations' (don't ask...) I had quite a decent life there. Plus I knew when I had the other piece in the jigsaw, ie a decent girlfriend, my life was pretty complete and everything else was a bonus. But that was when life was a lot simpler and I was under 30. All I can say is apart from the 'business' side of things, nothing else went to plan. Simply explained, you can control yourself (business) but not other people (pleasure). So if I f**ked up an exam, I just worked out what I needed to do to pass it and usually did. And if I wanted to work, and then save the money, I did. But my friends were always 'just there' and my girlfriends were gained by the machine gun approach, just going everywhere I could trying as many as possible until I'd get lucky. If anyone's seen Boomhauer on King of the Hill finally demonstrate his technique to Bobby in the shoe store when he just asked every woman out till one said yes. That was almost the way I operate, only I needed to be somewhere where people would meet officially, not in public.

The main problem of course wasn't getting them (till I hit 30 when the normal ones all paired off) but keeping them. Any of maybe five or more would have had potential (one proven) but all pissed off in the opposite direction, plus a couple at least I didn't see the quality in until it was too late. So this is probably why I have so much time to sit and write my blog. I remember a rail station ticket collector once years ago who I was telling about my ticket collecting hobby, and he said 'You're not married, are you?'. Well actually at least half my fellow collectors I know are, and their wives must have the patience of a saint (I think the two wives I actually knew probably were), but technically it can show. Anyway, life isn't all crap here however I make it seem, it's just easier to write about that part. I have no idea what's ahead in 5 or 10 years time, as few of us do, but on balance things tend to stay similar rather than drastic changes either way. If I write a post in a few months saying I've got a job on TV I'll eat my words, but we all have to have some hope however slight.

3 comments:

Deby said...

Poor David. It does sound as though your life is nothing but the downs as apposed to any ups. Well, my dear friend, you have to endure the wickly bad to get to the sweet ending of any road. I speak from experience even in my "younger than you" lifetime. I don't pretend to be wise beyond my years, you just sound so much like me a few years back, the good thing is that you're not carrying another human with you to keep you from doing all the things you can do in life. It really is free to enjoy the air you breathe and the sights you see, dear. Be glad in the knowledge of that. And life is good.

Stef said...

I'll second that. I operate on the basis that if you manage to squeeze in just one laugh or see just one beautiful thing in the course of a day it was worth getting up that morning.

You clearly have a sense of humour and a questing mind. This can be a burden as well as a gift but, hand on heart, would you want to be any other way?

David said...

Thanks both of you, it can be tough at times but the last two things to go under adversity are the sense of humour and the erection (not sure of the order...).
It's the other humans who have partly led to this situation, though having the right one would be such an improvement to not, as I remember the good times and there is such a difference. I'd actually like to write about one now, maybe I will... But how do you balance privacy and writing? I suppose blogging will find the answer over time, and see whether we either lose friends or encourage openness as a result.