Sunday, October 07, 2007

Mental problems

My mind works in some pretty dubious ways. Thinking of what I was going to write about I realised it was probably more interesting to mention various descriptions of masturbation than repeating the same old actions and reactions I seem to have been doing since I was about 25. Twanging the wire, flogging the mutton, pulling the pud, jerkin the gherkin, wristjob, hand shandy, self abuse, mrs palm and her five daughters, shaking hands with the unemployed etc etc.
Now I've got that lot out of the way I suppose I can carry on with the mental masturbation. Would anyone really accept it was possible to receive messages from other life forms? I know I can from humans but more than that remains hidden very well. But the fact one contactee told me what happened to another, who then repeated an almost identical scene on his second visit does make me wonder, and the fact I am one of the closest to these guys without actually seeing one myself makes me wish they'd get on and reveal themselves properly, to me at least.

Due to work cancellations I traded money for time last week and spent it all in Golders Green filming different parts of it. I decided even though I took every local road on VHS I may as well get a cheap digital video and make some decent films online as no one else has of London. It may even get me a proper commission. This is something I've done for 7 years so have all the tools to do a proper job. Now I need to see how long they'll let me post from an unlimited source of good quality files. I also saw some more spiritual and supernatural lessons on youtube, none yet have done a bleeding thing but if I learn enough I only really need one that works. I also (not in the mafia sense) eliminated another woman last week. As a result I asked out the next in line, no fucking reply. I am now left with choice 3 who has one asset. The best one but no others, literally. My normal standard in that sense but attractive. I will see, fate decided who yet again and I am too desperate to pick and choose between inadequate and absolutely fuck all.

Thank everyone for all the recent comments, I have been pretty busy reading other blogs, of course they vary greatly but a few have been worth the visits and have thousands more to try. It also shows despite seeming similar and ordinary what total cack some people think of when it comes to sharing their incredibly boring or weird interests. Besides the ones that are only advertising, we have the single interest type, nearly all nerd related, my IT heaven (not), MP3 players anonymous and which vibrator today? No thanks on all. Then the adult juveniles using chatspeak, drugs and talking about music you are likely to hear in the local pub only. Ben (sorry in advance) still seems to do anything rather than relax and has been to more venues in 25 years than most small towns do in their whole life. For goodness sake, and all of ours, get a damn girlfriend already! Like he ever reads this... Sleeping like a blog link will explain all. And why do people I know not only stop blogging but delete them as well? If I paint or write something it's up to others to judge, once I've released it it stays beyond the end of my life. Kepp your stuff, who knows who may find it later.
There are, thank goodness, some interesting and intelligent people around but few in my area now. And most suffer from mental illness as well. It's like once you can see the world clearly you can't handle it. Now if I lived in the sticks or on an island I'd be fine as no crowds. But put an agoraphobic in London and you may as well put a dirt phobic in India (sorry any Indians, you know I'm right though). No political correctness here as you know. But as I am stuck here I share my abilities with others however I can and my disabilities limit the ways. Everyone's the same but only mentally ill where one becomes almost impossible to do. It changes on its own and if it improves very good, but it's not up to us to fix it, as another blogger has pointed out. One decent woman who understands and I'll not really give a damn. No one else to impress than that so maybe I'll find a candidate round here. Given a choice between a normal bore and a phobic genius some women must prefer the conversation side?

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