Wednesday, October 10, 2007


If you don't know what it means just read along and it may start to make sense. I have been watching a lot on youtube since thinking of looking for it, and it has had two effects. One has been for me to eliminate the vast majority of it for being unnecessarily complicated, including my old teacher Tony Parsons. The second is to move me to the path of my own experience and knowledge that true development is physical/spiritual, and independent of mental knowledge. It is based purely on raising the kundalini force, and as such is almost impossible to do without practises. Meditations and exercises are the way as well as shaktipat, being awakened by one able to do so.

Even then and with the best methods few respond. Take a tab of LSD and I am told some get there directly, but also likely to suffer a form of neural brain damage which really isn't worth the tradeoff. So removing drugs there is a list of practises, most now public, which almost remove the need for conventional lectures as once you understand what you're doing and why there's little need to keep listening to the master. They only seem to repeat the same cliches anyway and can't practise for you. They may be enlightened but besides the possible single shaktipat transfer can do little more besides alter your exercises and explain your symptoms. The whole thing is based on trust until it happens to you, and having found an online teacher who basically responded to my comments by offering help, she said I have experienced pranic surges, which are the first stage of awakening. They feel bloody good and are clearly very unlikely without meditation first, but do not create any powers or long term changes. In fact the only gate that has opened is to more of the same, being able to create such surges at will which I can only compare with masturbation if there is no physical benefit.

I have received shaktipat from a Qigong master, like many now from a distance but believe me it made no difference. It peaked for a few hours, from the second she started, and was residual for some days after. But again it was only a nice feeling and didn't change me noticeably.

Now the satsang element here is I don't believe much is needed. Those who want to develop will look for teachers and the rest won't care or listen. If enlightened masters or anyone else finds ways that work then they can allow anyone to teach them as they are purely mechanical, and their only role is that of inspiration to say what is possible for the students (if they're lucky). Meditation is the best example of surrender to the universe that I know. We all do the same thing and using a standard statistical graph get varying results on a bell shaped curve. Even if those at the rough end try other methods it's unlikely it'll make any difference as some people are tougher to change full stop. If some teachers arrive who can help them then they'll become the real satgurus, the gurus of the gurus who can do more than offer ancient practises to people and let nature take over the results. I probably have this role with my clients, as many are kicked out or leave a number of other therapists until they find me who has the patience to put up with their weirdness as I expect others to with mine. Being a hippy and eccentric the bog standard working people, especially the business people, rarely get on with me, maybe they can tell how boring I find them and their way of life. They are rich, busy and unhappy. Where did it get them?

The intellectuals are the opposite as they worry themselves unhappy and I undo the worries for them. The others are just spoiled children who want a posh guy in a suit to reassure them regardless what they do. The only thing stopping me from looking like an extra from Jesus Christ Superstar is my grandma, whose 'hair alarm' is as loud and persistent as any car alarm once my hair touches my collar. It's just not worth the aggro. But inside that's who I am and once I start talking about Buddha the clients either join in or walk away. But half my teaching is based on Buddha's as it works. I use other teachings as well where they fit in, Freud, Jung and especially the inner child, but when it comes to life in general many problems are calmed by Buddhism before any modern therapist.

Anyway, I believe I have more tools than most for my own spiritual development, have had nothing besides these 'pranic surges' and highs from meditation once in a blue moon, and after 10 years of practise feel a little cheated. I have no more learning left besides maybe some inspiration, and however much work I may put in I feel no different. This can change at any time but using an equation the energy I put in would be expected to be demonstrated at some level or maybe there's a hole in the vessel.


Wondering said...

What do you do for a living? Paid work, I mean?

David said...

Psychotherapy, as per my profile