Well, is this a first- something positive on my blog? I found expecting good makes me feel good regardless of whether it's logical, and this was followed by my awareness of karma, a second illogical discovery. Since imagining the best (well, trying to...) A few people from the past have all turned up within a couple of weeks, plus another amazing bit of news about someone I've mentioned here I'm just awaiting his permission to publish in full. I will say I have been read on Funtrivia by someone I wrote about there, and I didn't tell him I was a member. Now that is what I would call amazing.
I've been working fairly damn hard one way or another as well, one paid hour, nearly two I had to pay for (comes with the job once a month), and took my Mum to a grotty supermarket for a change. My builder arrived to measure the kitchen, and may actually be about to order the units! (It's only been well over a year!). I also called the radio a couple of times, plus last night Talk Sport kept me waiting at maybe 5p a minute for an hour and fifteen minutes and then ended the programme without putting me on. Thanks Mr Murdoch, you have billions and still want my £1.80 an hour cut from the total BT get even when you know I won't be put on. I also went to Brentford for the third time on a boxing day (a bit late as it was a 1pm kick-off) to see them get buried 1-3 by Torquay, but it was nice to see so many ex-premier players on both sides as well as a few Brentford old-timers. Understandably I'm now knackered, and it's new year's eve already, with people coming over tomorrow as usual. I hope my email request is accepted so I can give the full story here. One last element is it may even get me on the radio (albeit on Sky digital!) but anything is a start, having lost my place on Capital in 1973 due to appendicitis. I shouted 'hooray' once on a Capital Gold roadshow when my request was read out, but that hardly counts...
Friday, December 31, 2004
Saturday, December 25, 2004
activity
Reading some other local blogs, so many people are so incredibly busy both at work and otherwise, though I suspect nearly all are under 30. My life was also like that till then, and I've had enough of that now, and hope most other 'grown ups' also reach that stage, married or not. Now my life is the total antithesis to that. I see interest in people, not events, and though I do go to selected events, they are the exceptions in my life, and I prefer to interact and create, having literally 'been there, done that'.
I love lists. I've already graphically displayed my 10 countries here, and will add duplicates- France 11 times, Israel 3, and USA twice. And that included 10 states. The effort involved now exceeds any pleasure except for day trips.
I also go to football a lot, though having added over 50 matches in about 4 years am now winding down. Nowadays I like seeing all types of masters and psychics, and have seen Uri Geller twice (would go every time he was on locally), Maharaji 5 times, Matthew Manning, Geoff Boltwood and of course Nick Roach, as well as a number of advaita masters www.advaita.org such as Satyam Nadeen, Satyananda and Om C Parkin (all new names given on enlightenment). Apart from that I go to antique and toy fairs, mind/body/spirit shows, and steam railways. What I do like doing is filming, and have spent over a year filming the places I grew up and then went in the houses of friends and interviewed each about life since I'd known them. These will be incredible records in 20 or 30 years time.
Otherwise, what has been happening in my little life? It's been fine, I have had a few hours work this week which went pretty well, the builder fixed all the important things as I said, and finally played my first game of snooker having discovered a family friend with a table, and actually got some balls in, which made me happy. I barely did anything else apart from family visits as per usual, but it's been OK, and it's currently (oy vay) Christmas morning at 2.30, and I won't be seeing anyone till 5pm for a late family dinner. I've got my abduction tape to copy, and hope I can get on with that the rest of the day, unless I get a surprise visitor (that was a joke). By the way, no one's commented here for over a month- am I boring everyone? This is really based on reality, so though I try and make it interesting, it is a blog first and Kingsbury is like a waiting room for the cemetery, and this is reflected here! If I die and find out there's more I'll be delighted but till then I see this as a single performance and any more will be a fantastic bonus. But heaven and hell? I've been to both and it was right here. More philosophy on its way, watch these pages.
I love lists. I've already graphically displayed my 10 countries here, and will add duplicates- France 11 times, Israel 3, and USA twice. And that included 10 states. The effort involved now exceeds any pleasure except for day trips.
I also go to football a lot, though having added over 50 matches in about 4 years am now winding down. Nowadays I like seeing all types of masters and psychics, and have seen Uri Geller twice (would go every time he was on locally), Maharaji 5 times, Matthew Manning, Geoff Boltwood and of course Nick Roach, as well as a number of advaita masters www.advaita.org such as Satyam Nadeen, Satyananda and Om C Parkin (all new names given on enlightenment). Apart from that I go to antique and toy fairs, mind/body/spirit shows, and steam railways. What I do like doing is filming, and have spent over a year filming the places I grew up and then went in the houses of friends and interviewed each about life since I'd known them. These will be incredible records in 20 or 30 years time.
Otherwise, what has been happening in my little life? It's been fine, I have had a few hours work this week which went pretty well, the builder fixed all the important things as I said, and finally played my first game of snooker having discovered a family friend with a table, and actually got some balls in, which made me happy. I barely did anything else apart from family visits as per usual, but it's been OK, and it's currently (oy vay) Christmas morning at 2.30, and I won't be seeing anyone till 5pm for a late family dinner. I've got my abduction tape to copy, and hope I can get on with that the rest of the day, unless I get a surprise visitor (that was a joke). By the way, no one's commented here for over a month- am I boring everyone? This is really based on reality, so though I try and make it interesting, it is a blog first and Kingsbury is like a waiting room for the cemetery, and this is reflected here! If I die and find out there's more I'll be delighted but till then I see this as a single performance and any more will be a fantastic bonus. But heaven and hell? I've been to both and it was right here. More philosophy on its way, watch these pages.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Wednesday's rubbish
It's been a typical week here, a bit of work, a bit of socialising and my builder finally came and did all the outstanding small work in less than a day in total. I can use Videoplus again after about 2 years as my video is now connected to an outside aerial.
Kendall is still on messenger every day, and (well, I was encouraged to post my progress so it has to be straight) I can see I am working through a number of her 'issues', appearing to myself at least that as a trained counsellor I am able to work on each issue as it arises and I really believe these will be sorted out as a lucky coincidence of our meeting. Our aims have been more equalised now, as having never met anyone from abroad before, I am not going to assume anything about anyone, even someone I'd watched on TV for 5 years, compared to really meeting them. Kendall had been of the impression (to me, at least) that meeting online and on the phone was as good as any other way, and could judge the future by that adequately (though she did finally admit her doubts, which were identical to mine!). This showed common sense is universal as I see a minefield, and risking a life in a foreign country, possibly on the basis of a week's visit seems a bit like the journeys of Indiana Jones... I will see.
Generally speaking, at 44 my caution is based on many past experiences where plans didn't turn out anything like I expected in reality. This included a trip to Israel, intended for a few months, where I spent 5 days sleeping on various floors before being told the family set up to stay with had had a bereavement and buggered off abroad, and I had to go home. I had been to Israel once before, was quite at home there and had no wish to leave at the time, and never got a chance to go anywhere longer than 4 weeks since.
Secondly I was hooked into buying a house because it was large and cheap. It backed onto a railway line and was in a nondescript and heartless area I didn't really know, and was depressed for over a year and a half and decided to bail out and move to an area I knew and liked. With women you normally get to know them for months and more before commitment, but in our position, though it's not compulsory, it's on the cards after a week. I hear alarm bells ring, plus it won't be me who's moving their whole life to a foreign country (though at least it's the best in the world!).
So there is some time before the trip can take place, but I try and tell Kendall everything more or less prior to posting it here, as I'm not intending to give her any surprises deliberately. I would welcome opinions though from neutral readers (do I still have any readers?) on transatlantic and similar relationships.
So that has been the week so far, my current binge on nostalgia (gleaned from the memory bins of my mind at random) have unearthed information on Nadia Cattouse (you either know who she is or not), Jeremy Taylor, the South African comedian who was often on the BBC, and a cult classic schools programme, an 8 episode series from 1973 called 'Joe and the sheep rustlers', part of the long running 'Look and read' series. This summed up childhood in the 70s for me, though it was a shame you had to be ill before you could watch most of these, as colour TV had only just arrived and it was still ten or more years before video recorders became affordable. If you visit look and read you can see all the programmes plus the words to the song about the Beasleys in my favourite. The good news is since CBBC they've been showing it twice a year from 2003, and I hope to see it if broadcast in 2005. The effort put into children's programmes has always impressed me far more than others, and I'm happy to admit I'd rather watch many of them than the cack the main 5 channels serves up nowadays. To think 'My family' is actually one of the better comedies of 2004, purely due to total lack of better competition. Plus James Hendrie, the writer, sat behind me at school. But as raised on Monty Python he could have done a little better...
Kendall is still on messenger every day, and (well, I was encouraged to post my progress so it has to be straight) I can see I am working through a number of her 'issues', appearing to myself at least that as a trained counsellor I am able to work on each issue as it arises and I really believe these will be sorted out as a lucky coincidence of our meeting. Our aims have been more equalised now, as having never met anyone from abroad before, I am not going to assume anything about anyone, even someone I'd watched on TV for 5 years, compared to really meeting them. Kendall had been of the impression (to me, at least) that meeting online and on the phone was as good as any other way, and could judge the future by that adequately (though she did finally admit her doubts, which were identical to mine!). This showed common sense is universal as I see a minefield, and risking a life in a foreign country, possibly on the basis of a week's visit seems a bit like the journeys of Indiana Jones... I will see.
Generally speaking, at 44 my caution is based on many past experiences where plans didn't turn out anything like I expected in reality. This included a trip to Israel, intended for a few months, where I spent 5 days sleeping on various floors before being told the family set up to stay with had had a bereavement and buggered off abroad, and I had to go home. I had been to Israel once before, was quite at home there and had no wish to leave at the time, and never got a chance to go anywhere longer than 4 weeks since.
Secondly I was hooked into buying a house because it was large and cheap. It backed onto a railway line and was in a nondescript and heartless area I didn't really know, and was depressed for over a year and a half and decided to bail out and move to an area I knew and liked. With women you normally get to know them for months and more before commitment, but in our position, though it's not compulsory, it's on the cards after a week. I hear alarm bells ring, plus it won't be me who's moving their whole life to a foreign country (though at least it's the best in the world!).
So there is some time before the trip can take place, but I try and tell Kendall everything more or less prior to posting it here, as I'm not intending to give her any surprises deliberately. I would welcome opinions though from neutral readers (do I still have any readers?) on transatlantic and similar relationships.
So that has been the week so far, my current binge on nostalgia (gleaned from the memory bins of my mind at random) have unearthed information on Nadia Cattouse (you either know who she is or not), Jeremy Taylor, the South African comedian who was often on the BBC, and a cult classic schools programme, an 8 episode series from 1973 called 'Joe and the sheep rustlers', part of the long running 'Look and read' series. This summed up childhood in the 70s for me, though it was a shame you had to be ill before you could watch most of these, as colour TV had only just arrived and it was still ten or more years before video recorders became affordable. If you visit look and read you can see all the programmes plus the words to the song about the Beasleys in my favourite. The good news is since CBBC they've been showing it twice a year from 2003, and I hope to see it if broadcast in 2005. The effort put into children's programmes has always impressed me far more than others, and I'm happy to admit I'd rather watch many of them than the cack the main 5 channels serves up nowadays. To think 'My family' is actually one of the better comedies of 2004, purely due to total lack of better competition. Plus James Hendrie, the writer, sat behind me at school. But as raised on Monty Python he could have done a little better...
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Alien communication 2
I saw my client again today and continued (very fluently) the dialogue with the alien called Zaphos. Here are the main points.
1) We come from Delphis 3, 84 light years away in earth physics, but we can exceed this speed using cosmic physics. The (worker's?) planet is 55-57 light years away. We travel here at the speed of light, but send the air crew (greys) and control them from our home planet
2) The greys don't use eyes and ears, but hear and see telepathically. The black eyes are visors to protect their remaining eye areas which are very sensitive to light
3) The ship is powered by a positron generator beamed upward in a spiral by a waveguide. It attracts the negatively charged atmosphere and electrons are simultaneously beamed downwards to repel the negatively charged planet, propelling the craft.
4) The alien's appearance is like ancient Egyptians, who are hybrids between the resident apes on earth and the alien people. There was also a colony on Mars, which the face there represents their appearance.
5) We are needed to keep their race going as they have badly polluted their own planet. In exchange for the genetic material taken from abductions we are given some of their technology, but only that we can use without danger (such as anti matter which wouldn't be safe to use)
6) The first and best example of a higher being was sent to the Dogon tribe in Africa long before biblical times, and was called Nommo.
7) Certain gifted individuals on Earth are Merlins (which is a qualification level rather than a specific individual). Jesus was a complete Merlin, having all the powers shared among the others separately. They are working for the good (eg Uri Geller, Matthew Manning etc) and against those that control governments such as the Bildeberg group, who will soon be reined in by the aliens as they are ruining the earth in pursuit of power
8) Global warming is not the threat we are facing. Nuclear radiation is, and cannot be cleaned once released.
9) There was one original creator we call God, who is the origin of us all, and lives on in spirit
10) Our pets are more advanced than most realise, and we really work together with them on a more equal level, much as aliens do with us, they look after us the same way we do pets
11) The religious texts of all religions point to the same truth, but current translations have lost the message
12) The reason we don't see abductions is they're cloaked from view. Spaces are made in walls and cars, and the piece is returned and repaired at a molecular level with no trace of damage
13) If you read the work of Eric Von Daniken he was actually closer to the truth than many people realise.
I will leave this as it is and leave others to comment
1) We come from Delphis 3, 84 light years away in earth physics, but we can exceed this speed using cosmic physics. The (worker's?) planet is 55-57 light years away. We travel here at the speed of light, but send the air crew (greys) and control them from our home planet
2) The greys don't use eyes and ears, but hear and see telepathically. The black eyes are visors to protect their remaining eye areas which are very sensitive to light
3) The ship is powered by a positron generator beamed upward in a spiral by a waveguide. It attracts the negatively charged atmosphere and electrons are simultaneously beamed downwards to repel the negatively charged planet, propelling the craft.
4) The alien's appearance is like ancient Egyptians, who are hybrids between the resident apes on earth and the alien people. There was also a colony on Mars, which the face there represents their appearance.
5) We are needed to keep their race going as they have badly polluted their own planet. In exchange for the genetic material taken from abductions we are given some of their technology, but only that we can use without danger (such as anti matter which wouldn't be safe to use)
6) The first and best example of a higher being was sent to the Dogon tribe in Africa long before biblical times, and was called Nommo.
7) Certain gifted individuals on Earth are Merlins (which is a qualification level rather than a specific individual). Jesus was a complete Merlin, having all the powers shared among the others separately. They are working for the good (eg Uri Geller, Matthew Manning etc) and against those that control governments such as the Bildeberg group, who will soon be reined in by the aliens as they are ruining the earth in pursuit of power
8) Global warming is not the threat we are facing. Nuclear radiation is, and cannot be cleaned once released.
9) There was one original creator we call God, who is the origin of us all, and lives on in spirit
10) Our pets are more advanced than most realise, and we really work together with them on a more equal level, much as aliens do with us, they look after us the same way we do pets
11) The religious texts of all religions point to the same truth, but current translations have lost the message
12) The reason we don't see abductions is they're cloaked from view. Spaces are made in walls and cars, and the piece is returned and repaired at a molecular level with no trace of damage
13) If you read the work of Eric Von Daniken he was actually closer to the truth than many people realise.
I will leave this as it is and leave others to comment
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
A week of karma
Last week followed on very nicely from the instant karma recently reported in the road accident. Karma has a few aspects, and personal growth is one of them. That means when it's time for us to learn a lesson to fix a fault or teach us a new skill the same situations seem to arrive continually (as I described before to myself) until the problems' dealt with, and then they stop and some other hassle replaces it. Maybe I'm on a fast track to mastership, as I get plenty.
Well, 3 other people were involved last week, all with similar stories. Firstly I made my first ever illogical observation that worked. I just realised I was happier if I expected things to be good, like I used to before I found they rarely were. The trouble is I felt better when I imagined they'd be good regardless, and decided that's how I have to be again. Then a friend said the reason I rarely (at all??) had miracles is the bible says you have to believe first. This just confirmed I was doing the right thing as she didn't know I had decided this as she was just trying to explain God to me.
Then another friend said she was fascinated by it as she had instant karma, which is actually a sign of a master.
Finally someone else said how a situation seemed to work out in a planned way, where 3 or more events that didn't usually happen came together as if they had been designed to do so.
I'm now actually looking for lessons and events in advance to fit the theory so I can work with it. But whether we draw things to us or the whole lot is pushed by an outside force isn't worth trying to work out, but just stick to seeing if the system's there and using it. Maybe I can actually shift some of the crap from my life as well as a result?
Well, 3 other people were involved last week, all with similar stories. Firstly I made my first ever illogical observation that worked. I just realised I was happier if I expected things to be good, like I used to before I found they rarely were. The trouble is I felt better when I imagined they'd be good regardless, and decided that's how I have to be again. Then a friend said the reason I rarely (at all??) had miracles is the bible says you have to believe first. This just confirmed I was doing the right thing as she didn't know I had decided this as she was just trying to explain God to me.
Then another friend said she was fascinated by it as she had instant karma, which is actually a sign of a master.
Finally someone else said how a situation seemed to work out in a planned way, where 3 or more events that didn't usually happen came together as if they had been designed to do so.
I'm now actually looking for lessons and events in advance to fit the theory so I can work with it. But whether we draw things to us or the whole lot is pushed by an outside force isn't worth trying to work out, but just stick to seeing if the system's there and using it. Maybe I can actually shift some of the crap from my life as well as a result?
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Speculation updates
As promised, I can update two points from yesterday already:
2) Will my friend apologise? Yes, great relief
5) Will the aerial man come? No. Total wanker. Due to be named and shamed by Tuesday. I may even include (for the first time) his name, address and phone number so other readers (in particular from London bloggers who may come across him) can avoid him like I didn't.
Nice at least for one speculation to result as positive, I think most turn out 10-20% good, off the top of my head. So from these two, I'm already making a profit. I somehow think the others will even things out over time.
And if my adversary does read this, why hide in the shadows? I won't think you fancy me if you add a comment!
2) Will my friend apologise? Yes, great relief
5) Will the aerial man come? No. Total wanker. Due to be named and shamed by Tuesday. I may even include (for the first time) his name, address and phone number so other readers (in particular from London bloggers who may come across him) can avoid him like I didn't.
Nice at least for one speculation to result as positive, I think most turn out 10-20% good, off the top of my head. So from these two, I'm already making a profit. I somehow think the others will even things out over time.
And if my adversary does read this, why hide in the shadows? I won't think you fancy me if you add a comment!
Today's chaos
Yes, today was one of those days that needed negotiating with no map or compass to help. I had to get up quite early to collect my parcel from Kendall which was gathering dust at the post office, who closed early today. It was huge!. I was amazed to see the little Indian lady I know so well struggle with a parcel half her own size and weight, and it was full of goodies as promised, which are all being used already.
The third time running (this time with no warning) the TV aerial man didn't turn up. I think it's the end of that lead (pun there) and Video Plus (our automated video recording system) may not be coming to my house in the forseeable future. Once I realised that person (can I say pratt here?) wasn't coming I had the rest of the day to use until I went out at 6. No ideas, but it was dry, so no housework this time. I ended up going to a newly discovered local park with 180 degree views of London, and an assortment of fascinating paths leading to it through ancient cemeteries and interesting houses. Any London bloggers reading are recommended to visit Sunny Hill Park in Hendon if they get the chance, it's usually passed at 50 mph by the A1, A41 and M1 which surround it, and only locals probably stop to walk there.
Once done, I had basically mopped up the remaining part of the day and that was it.
Todays speculation scenario. Worms turning: Miracles, can they ever happen? I'm not referring this time to walking on water, but people. It happened (as she well knows) with Kendall, and she stood out from most others who didn't, and I'd also welcome comments telling me their experiences. I'm referring to people who have left you behind for whichever reasons returning long after they were consigned to the expectation of never hearing from again?
I have a growing list of these people (some who do or did read here, but they have seen my views already), and while I have idle days like this I wonder if, say over the next 6 months, I'll get one nice surprise to show me the individual's human nature is redeemable. I think the last time this happened before October was in 1993 when an old girlfriend called me after almost 10 years as she was feeling 'desperate'. Then in 1972 when the girl I liked on holiday who had then ignored me phoned me after I got home. That felt like one of the best days of my life, and she turned out to become my first girlfriend. The combination of lost hope, losing something valuable, and then having it return having done absolutely nothing about it yourself is one of the best surprises you can ever have.
My list includes: 1) Someone I fell out with earlier in the year and would be extremely happy to hear from.
2) Someone I thought I knew better, called me a bastard for making an innocent comment and told me where to go. I know she's more sensitive than necessary, and had a hard time from people who deserve that sort of treatment, but don't project it on me, please. If she ever apologises the champagne corks will pop (though I don't like it).
3) Will the barely referred to mystery I hinted at recently ever yield any more information? Experience has taught me discretion here, but I will report with a simple yes at least if this happens regardless of having to censor anything else.
4) Email replies: As well as the named and shamed friends reunited baskets who are just bloody rude for joining a site and ignoring emails at will, there are an equal number I emailed out of the blue or mutually and then stopped replying (if they ever did). Plus that damn bitch I wrote to as her new phone number was ex-directory and didn't bother to reply. What did she think I'd do if she replied? Arrive at her flat and propose on bended knee?
5) Builders: This is the 4th aerial man not to turn up, my garage roof and boiler have needed attention for ages, and I'm no closer to getting them done. Not to mention the person who said he'd measure my kitchen for new units over a month ago. He was guaranteed 3 days work as I knew he could do the job and can't even be arsed to come in for an estimate even though he works at the end of my road every day!
6) Any others I've missed but could happen. May include any old friends who evaporated but may become curious about me eventually, existing friends who haven't returned phone calls, returning clients (this is a real phenomenon) and any other reversal of attitude that may actually conspire to make me smile for a change.
The third time running (this time with no warning) the TV aerial man didn't turn up. I think it's the end of that lead (pun there) and Video Plus (our automated video recording system) may not be coming to my house in the forseeable future. Once I realised that person (can I say pratt here?) wasn't coming I had the rest of the day to use until I went out at 6. No ideas, but it was dry, so no housework this time. I ended up going to a newly discovered local park with 180 degree views of London, and an assortment of fascinating paths leading to it through ancient cemeteries and interesting houses. Any London bloggers reading are recommended to visit Sunny Hill Park in Hendon if they get the chance, it's usually passed at 50 mph by the A1, A41 and M1 which surround it, and only locals probably stop to walk there.
Once done, I had basically mopped up the remaining part of the day and that was it.
Todays speculation scenario. Worms turning: Miracles, can they ever happen? I'm not referring this time to walking on water, but people. It happened (as she well knows) with Kendall, and she stood out from most others who didn't, and I'd also welcome comments telling me their experiences. I'm referring to people who have left you behind for whichever reasons returning long after they were consigned to the expectation of never hearing from again?
I have a growing list of these people (some who do or did read here, but they have seen my views already), and while I have idle days like this I wonder if, say over the next 6 months, I'll get one nice surprise to show me the individual's human nature is redeemable. I think the last time this happened before October was in 1993 when an old girlfriend called me after almost 10 years as she was feeling 'desperate'. Then in 1972 when the girl I liked on holiday who had then ignored me phoned me after I got home. That felt like one of the best days of my life, and she turned out to become my first girlfriend. The combination of lost hope, losing something valuable, and then having it return having done absolutely nothing about it yourself is one of the best surprises you can ever have.
My list includes: 1) Someone I fell out with earlier in the year and would be extremely happy to hear from.
2) Someone I thought I knew better, called me a bastard for making an innocent comment and told me where to go. I know she's more sensitive than necessary, and had a hard time from people who deserve that sort of treatment, but don't project it on me, please. If she ever apologises the champagne corks will pop (though I don't like it).
3) Will the barely referred to mystery I hinted at recently ever yield any more information? Experience has taught me discretion here, but I will report with a simple yes at least if this happens regardless of having to censor anything else.
4) Email replies: As well as the named and shamed friends reunited baskets who are just bloody rude for joining a site and ignoring emails at will, there are an equal number I emailed out of the blue or mutually and then stopped replying (if they ever did). Plus that damn bitch I wrote to as her new phone number was ex-directory and didn't bother to reply. What did she think I'd do if she replied? Arrive at her flat and propose on bended knee?
5) Builders: This is the 4th aerial man not to turn up, my garage roof and boiler have needed attention for ages, and I'm no closer to getting them done. Not to mention the person who said he'd measure my kitchen for new units over a month ago. He was guaranteed 3 days work as I knew he could do the job and can't even be arsed to come in for an estimate even though he works at the end of my road every day!
6) Any others I've missed but could happen. May include any old friends who evaporated but may become curious about me eventually, existing friends who haven't returned phone calls, returning clients (this is a real phenomenon) and any other reversal of attitude that may actually conspire to make me smile for a change.
Monday, December 06, 2004
A week of mixed blessings
Well, being the verge of another week, it's time to review everything from the previous one. As announced, it's been a 'balance' of ups and downs (nothing odd there) and as the blog is here, you'll have to read it as it happened.
On the one side, I arranged at last for someone to fix my TV aerial after NTL the cable company forced us to reconnect our roof aerials when converting to digital as the videos won't work otherwise. A bit like the Transport for London trick of narrowing dual carriageways down to 2 lanes. What next, a nice epidemic of polio for old time's sake? Anyway, soon after connection, the whole lot (being over 10 years old) disintegrated, and this is the third person I've arranged to fix it. He *didn't* come on Friday but is rescheduled for Tuesday, so hopefully that will move to the credit column. I also applied for a few jobs, one in a bookshop is already on 'reserve', meaning if they need a standby I'm on the list, and once in should become a regular sooner or later. The second didn't reply, and I'm waiting for a form from the third (if I remember asking for it...?). Kendall has sent me a multiple Christmas/Chanukah posting,including a total of 3 cards. So far two cards arrived on Saturday, and I'm hoping if the parcel arrives Monday when I won't be there the postman won't just leave it on the step as some do, as it's not the sort of package that responds well to being left outside, let alone the security aspect. I have never been in a situation where I had to wait so long for anything outside my control and though I am getting more used to it it sometimes feels like I've been caught in the Twilight Zone or similar, and am completely lost in unfamiliar territory. I said I'd be writing all my worries again when we spoke last night, and here they are! She knows this already so hopefully it won't come as a surprise to read again, how comes most women who really appreciate me have only done so at the end of a distant computer? Am I missing anything here, as in person it seems to happen about once every ten years, and I'm pretty much the same person now, just a bit more mature (for Christ's sake, if I'm not going to be at 44 then it's unlikely ever to happen!). And the ones who like me at the end of a computer are sane as well, which amazes me even more, and quite unlike most experiences locally!
On the one side, I arranged at last for someone to fix my TV aerial after NTL the cable company forced us to reconnect our roof aerials when converting to digital as the videos won't work otherwise. A bit like the Transport for London trick of narrowing dual carriageways down to 2 lanes. What next, a nice epidemic of polio for old time's sake? Anyway, soon after connection, the whole lot (being over 10 years old) disintegrated, and this is the third person I've arranged to fix it. He *didn't* come on Friday but is rescheduled for Tuesday, so hopefully that will move to the credit column. I also applied for a few jobs, one in a bookshop is already on 'reserve', meaning if they need a standby I'm on the list, and once in should become a regular sooner or later. The second didn't reply, and I'm waiting for a form from the third (if I remember asking for it...?). Kendall has sent me a multiple Christmas/Chanukah posting,including a total of 3 cards. So far two cards arrived on Saturday, and I'm hoping if the parcel arrives Monday when I won't be there the postman won't just leave it on the step as some do, as it's not the sort of package that responds well to being left outside, let alone the security aspect. I have never been in a situation where I had to wait so long for anything outside my control and though I am getting more used to it it sometimes feels like I've been caught in the Twilight Zone or similar, and am completely lost in unfamiliar territory. I said I'd be writing all my worries again when we spoke last night, and here they are! She knows this already so hopefully it won't come as a surprise to read again, how comes most women who really appreciate me have only done so at the end of a distant computer? Am I missing anything here, as in person it seems to happen about once every ten years, and I'm pretty much the same person now, just a bit more mature (for Christ's sake, if I'm not going to be at 44 then it's unlikely ever to happen!). And the ones who like me at the end of a computer are sane as well, which amazes me even more, and quite unlike most experiences locally!
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Time for more
Well I can honestly say nothing's happened since my last entry, but there comes a time when things stop outside, and you feel it's time to write in the blog. And something always comes from it, so this is one of those times.
In the last few days I have been fairly busy doing little things like going for tea and shopping, though as usual it was when I wasn't intending to buy anything I actually found a number of things I needed and couldn't find elsewhere, though the one item I wanted and didn't expect to find having discovered the original firm stopped making them was actually just where it always was (though the shop had moved a mile or so) but just with a different label, and wasn't even too expensive.
Having got all that banality out of the way, what else? More banality I expect, but this is just a soap, only in real life with all the boring bits left in. At the moment it's a good time to accept things as they are in the Buddhist sense, as whatever action I'd like in my fantasies based on possibilities, this is what's real and there was nothing I could do about that. So whatever I'd prefer now this is what is here and I can only accept that which is. It's very tough when your memory reminds you what you could be missing from previous action, but really you had little control over what and when that was just as you do now. So it sets up a preference but doesn't allow you to satisfy it directly (or often indirectly either). The presents life has to offer are given by either random chance or God (the answer to that I can't say) but not by our own action based on choice. We make the starts but not the finishes.
As this is turning into a philosophy essay I'll do the academic thing I'm so used to and give examples (but no references!). If you join a dating agency, you have no say who's there and who replies or sends you a message. That has already narrowed down your choice by well over a half. Then the compatibility factor between you and whoever may meet you is going to depend both on how well you fit and what both of you want at that time, narrowing down your say again. Finally, if it works out, do you think if you'd chosen anyone else in that agency you could have engineered the same result? Come on, the bit you did was join the agency and use the facilities in full, the rest is out of your hands. You may increase your overall chances of success in any field by improving your skill levels, but as we all know, success is rarely from talent alone, it's only the top few in any field of equal ability who make it. We only make the starts, the finishes are not our department. It's very demoralising at first to realise this (as I have) as it means every ambition we ever wanted is outside our control besides starting off the process. But at least it save us the effort of trying to make things happen once we realise it's not in our power.
Well, I said if I started something would come out. And you should see the stuff I had to edit out!
In the last few days I have been fairly busy doing little things like going for tea and shopping, though as usual it was when I wasn't intending to buy anything I actually found a number of things I needed and couldn't find elsewhere, though the one item I wanted and didn't expect to find having discovered the original firm stopped making them was actually just where it always was (though the shop had moved a mile or so) but just with a different label, and wasn't even too expensive.
Having got all that banality out of the way, what else? More banality I expect, but this is just a soap, only in real life with all the boring bits left in. At the moment it's a good time to accept things as they are in the Buddhist sense, as whatever action I'd like in my fantasies based on possibilities, this is what's real and there was nothing I could do about that. So whatever I'd prefer now this is what is here and I can only accept that which is. It's very tough when your memory reminds you what you could be missing from previous action, but really you had little control over what and when that was just as you do now. So it sets up a preference but doesn't allow you to satisfy it directly (or often indirectly either). The presents life has to offer are given by either random chance or God (the answer to that I can't say) but not by our own action based on choice. We make the starts but not the finishes.
As this is turning into a philosophy essay I'll do the academic thing I'm so used to and give examples (but no references!). If you join a dating agency, you have no say who's there and who replies or sends you a message. That has already narrowed down your choice by well over a half. Then the compatibility factor between you and whoever may meet you is going to depend both on how well you fit and what both of you want at that time, narrowing down your say again. Finally, if it works out, do you think if you'd chosen anyone else in that agency you could have engineered the same result? Come on, the bit you did was join the agency and use the facilities in full, the rest is out of your hands. You may increase your overall chances of success in any field by improving your skill levels, but as we all know, success is rarely from talent alone, it's only the top few in any field of equal ability who make it. We only make the starts, the finishes are not our department. It's very demoralising at first to realise this (as I have) as it means every ambition we ever wanted is outside our control besides starting off the process. But at least it save us the effort of trying to make things happen once we realise it's not in our power.
Well, I said if I started something would come out. And you should see the stuff I had to edit out!
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