Well life may be beyond reporting sometimes but people can't read blogs that don't update so let's see what I can drag from the last few days. Shopping aplenty, new bits to hopefully fix my bike tyre so I can use it again (53 years old so not as easy as it could be), new watchstrap (I've now spent as much in straps as the bloody thing cost originally as they are plastic), and a 1950 Dinky coach for £12 in very good condition worth at least double. They had a battered looking identical one for £15 so maybe someone had made a mistake but I'm not complaining.
Few plans now, I am taking some photos again with the new memory when the light permits, and indoors first the article then a painting. From other's side the two TV programmes ahead and that's about it. Little beyond the expected has happened (in a nice way) for a very long time. The lack of stress is good, but that's not really living. Tolerable but little more. Here the only blog I read I liked didn't accept comments so lost a potenetial reader, except I'm not sure a word there was his own as each was revealed as a quote. Silly bugger. Write your own material or delete the blogs guys, we can read collections anywhere without amateurs using blogs to compile them.
I can give a quick lesson on blogging for those who hesitate or repeat others, see the empty box, either plan in advance or not, but if not then just start writing and see what happens. It works. You can edit it so no need to worry about writing crap, but it's in all our heads and till now few had the chance to share it. I could connect one current topic with its general theory and then old stories about it, and create a whole piece as a result. Done a few hundred. No idea in advance but I do know you can't tell which are planned and which aren't. The authority behind my advice is years of imposed essays, ending in a request to write for one of the places I studied with. My grammar will always need tidying as I never learnt any, but professionals have editors to do that and I don't. But having a beginning, middle and end is the normal structure and what you do within that is free association and flow. Each person's will be different but think of what you've been storing up all your life you could share. Must be as much as me or anyone else.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Yes, it is dull
The latest (and only) comment said a tad dull. Well, that is the empathy I have created, as it reflected exactly what I was conveying at the time. Now at sea we all want a storm to end (been there, for 4 days to be precise) but if in a sailing ship it's not a lot better to be becalmed. No storm or discomfort, but not going anywhere or doing anything. So although all the shit and business activity has subsided there's little in its place. I have the new photo memory to allow more variety (although the video has been playing up since I added it and lost two as a result) but that can't keep me busy for that long.
The best way to relieve the dullness here is not to report what I'm doing here, and as I've used up every variation of nursery poop-words and the stories from the past are not worth repeating or relevant, and there is no more philosophy, but make it up. That's fiction and not what blogs are for (like I wrote in my diary everything I wanted to do but didn't) so I can't do that either. To mirror my grandma I will have to go over the last week and you'll just have to take it like a man/woman/entity from other dimension.
My glasses arrived on Tuesday which I think I already mentioned, they didn't fit quite right and my attempts to stop them tilting have been partially successful. I've taken photos in Hampstead Garden Suburb, and views from Sunnyhill Park in Hendon and Barn Hill in Wembley although even on full pixels are not that clear. The final hurdle for digital photography is they compress data ie leave it out. I can't see any way round this. I also discovered only a few small bike shops sell tyre valves so can't use the bike yet until I do find one where I can also park. I created my 6th photo album, a softback one for the first time which will arrive in a few days. The list of phone calls is growing, some are never in and others are too much effort to make. Destined to failure in many cases I suspect. Meanwhile I seem to have put off the person from Big Brother from seeing me, either as I turned down his invitations or he didn't like mine. You can only compromise in life and if you want to see someone should be patient enough to wait for something you can both do. Does everyone know this?
No plans left, not that that means a lot, except the indoor work, my next article and then more paintings I won't be able to sell. But at least it'll mop up some time. All the latest videos I've watched showing how to have various psychic powers and become enlightened seem to have had no effect, although I know as I've done it before I should be able to see auras again somehow. But the psychokinesis which seems so easy in the film is yet to happen. I can't see anything ahead but that never meant it couldn't happen. Rarely does but not impossible.
The best way to relieve the dullness here is not to report what I'm doing here, and as I've used up every variation of nursery poop-words and the stories from the past are not worth repeating or relevant, and there is no more philosophy, but make it up. That's fiction and not what blogs are for (like I wrote in my diary everything I wanted to do but didn't) so I can't do that either. To mirror my grandma I will have to go over the last week and you'll just have to take it like a man/woman/entity from other dimension.
My glasses arrived on Tuesday which I think I already mentioned, they didn't fit quite right and my attempts to stop them tilting have been partially successful. I've taken photos in Hampstead Garden Suburb, and views from Sunnyhill Park in Hendon and Barn Hill in Wembley although even on full pixels are not that clear. The final hurdle for digital photography is they compress data ie leave it out. I can't see any way round this. I also discovered only a few small bike shops sell tyre valves so can't use the bike yet until I do find one where I can also park. I created my 6th photo album, a softback one for the first time which will arrive in a few days. The list of phone calls is growing, some are never in and others are too much effort to make. Destined to failure in many cases I suspect. Meanwhile I seem to have put off the person from Big Brother from seeing me, either as I turned down his invitations or he didn't like mine. You can only compromise in life and if you want to see someone should be patient enough to wait for something you can both do. Does everyone know this?
No plans left, not that that means a lot, except the indoor work, my next article and then more paintings I won't be able to sell. But at least it'll mop up some time. All the latest videos I've watched showing how to have various psychic powers and become enlightened seem to have had no effect, although I know as I've done it before I should be able to see auras again somehow. But the psychokinesis which seems so easy in the film is yet to happen. I can't see anything ahead but that never meant it couldn't happen. Rarely does but not impossible.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Nothing special really
I have lacked a bit of blogging inspiration recently, and though the hits seem to have stabilised daily I've had no comments for a while. Maybe I'm not being contraversial enough. The glasses arrived today, seem ok except the right eye doesn't seem to read very well on its own, but can't tell unless you cover the other one. I'll check the other pair as it could even be the reading bit has got worse already, god forbid (more money and hassle, no thanks). It was dark by 2 when the rain clouds covered the sky all day so no photos, but the new memory card I just got was the same price but 8 times bigger, so no more limits for quality or quantity now. I've done the local scenes in 2 years so will be doing high definition views and longer videos now. I hope to do one tomorrow but the weather needs to be OK. Then the indoor plans begin.
A new article followed by more pictures not to sell but do look good on the wall if no one buys them. My little list of jobs is gone now, only housework type now and usual shopping. I wish I could find someone equally alone and bored with life to share with as there must be plenty of us out there. Those spat out by the world when others are married through no fault of their own deserve better. Besides that the TV programmes are getting closer, the Sky online is advertised for autumn but no clues yet, the other seem to be about to use me in their publicity so I hope I get to see it. Oh, and the woman who served me for the memory card was pretty much like some I come across in my dreams, and I just saw her first name is on the receipt. Maybe I should find a reason to go there again, despite her probably having the stereotype criminal boyfriend. They always seem to go for the rough types, the nicer the woman the more disgusting the boyfriend. It's rather a long way to travel but if I was getting a reward at the end of it I'll find a way.
I'm not getting to bed any earlier despite the Funtrivia quiz round ending an hour earlier (soon to end thank goodness) but am getting everything done regardless which is all that really matters. Meanwhile I wait and hope for a little more than lack of stress to arrive in my life, it is better to have none but pretty quiet and time something good happened. Why should I miss out for so long?
A new article followed by more pictures not to sell but do look good on the wall if no one buys them. My little list of jobs is gone now, only housework type now and usual shopping. I wish I could find someone equally alone and bored with life to share with as there must be plenty of us out there. Those spat out by the world when others are married through no fault of their own deserve better. Besides that the TV programmes are getting closer, the Sky online is advertised for autumn but no clues yet, the other seem to be about to use me in their publicity so I hope I get to see it. Oh, and the woman who served me for the memory card was pretty much like some I come across in my dreams, and I just saw her first name is on the receipt. Maybe I should find a reason to go there again, despite her probably having the stereotype criminal boyfriend. They always seem to go for the rough types, the nicer the woman the more disgusting the boyfriend. It's rather a long way to travel but if I was getting a reward at the end of it I'll find a way.
I'm not getting to bed any earlier despite the Funtrivia quiz round ending an hour earlier (soon to end thank goodness) but am getting everything done regardless which is all that really matters. Meanwhile I wait and hope for a little more than lack of stress to arrive in my life, it is better to have none but pretty quiet and time something good happened. Why should I miss out for so long?
Saturday, November 17, 2007
This was my week.
A few reasons I haven't popped in for a while, firstly (a good thing), I've been pretty busy doing other things and secondly (not so good) none were enough to bother to report at the time. But it's the end of the week and I can both say I took 3 more lots of photos even though it was getting dark, and otherwise just getting on with things, waiting for a couple more TV programmes to air soon (so I'm told) and wondering what to do about the last woman left in the system. It's not like I have any options except yes or no, there's no opposition to choose from. Other than that at least what started as an unplanned week was busy, no stress for a change and seem to have done a pretty successful healing, once I follow it up to check.
This colour must have been available all the time but I've only just found it, and is possibly my favourite so far. The other thing that kept me occupied was Facebook, something I knew nothing about but has sucked half the people I know into the last month. No idea what started it off but I've done almost as much connecting on it as I did on Friends Reunited, except of course women usually use their married names so little possible to find on that side. But it's busy and I have got in touch with a number of people old and new and if they cut out all the poking and other assorted nonsense I'm sure we could just stick to gossiping and similar. It also fills the pages with so much stuff it takes all day to load some of them.
From now onwards I still have no plans really. My spare glasses are taking longer than last time, it gets dark by 4pm and will do for another 2 months plus, and do at least have a few indoor stuff set up for the dark days. And maybe even try and flog some more albums as well as order the latest one I loaded up but haven't arranged yet. Meanwhile the arrangement in life is showing itself constantly, I regularly get obscure quiz questions which repeat on TV or the radio within a day and when I wanted to set up a meeting including my alien abductees they both contacted me to come overshortly the next day. We are all being taken up in this one at a time, and although there's no apparent purpose that's shown itself yet in it all at least it means either I am doing it all subconsciously or there is a higher power able to move life around at will. Either way it means there is a control behid the scenes and can only hope all my ambitions will work as a result. I have realised there's no virtue (quite the opposite) in suffering ordeals for success. All this jungle nonsense in I'm a celebrity does no mean doing a parachute jump or eating bugs qualifies anyone as a success. You should either do them as you like it, are paid well or not at all. I now see no credit at all in having to go through anything in life in order to score points and raise your status.
Passing qualifications is different, and can be hard or easy depending on your abilities, but an degree you found easy is no less valid than others who found the same one hard. I already read we should lose all pride in any suffering, like illness, or we'll just keep on getting it. Same for any crap. I no longer believe I need to do one more thing to show 'I have' ever again. If I do anything ambitious like a holiday or a show it'll be because I want to, not because I want to prove something. That's what they call bad medicine and equates success and growth with suffering, which is the opposite to how it should be.
Please God my life now changes to reflect the new decision never to take on any more stress to grow, and the rest can be fun and just go with the flow. Believe me I think I've had a full quota of the brown stuff already.
This colour must have been available all the time but I've only just found it, and is possibly my favourite so far. The other thing that kept me occupied was Facebook, something I knew nothing about but has sucked half the people I know into the last month. No idea what started it off but I've done almost as much connecting on it as I did on Friends Reunited, except of course women usually use their married names so little possible to find on that side. But it's busy and I have got in touch with a number of people old and new and if they cut out all the poking and other assorted nonsense I'm sure we could just stick to gossiping and similar. It also fills the pages with so much stuff it takes all day to load some of them.
From now onwards I still have no plans really. My spare glasses are taking longer than last time, it gets dark by 4pm and will do for another 2 months plus, and do at least have a few indoor stuff set up for the dark days. And maybe even try and flog some more albums as well as order the latest one I loaded up but haven't arranged yet. Meanwhile the arrangement in life is showing itself constantly, I regularly get obscure quiz questions which repeat on TV or the radio within a day and when I wanted to set up a meeting including my alien abductees they both contacted me to come overshortly the next day. We are all being taken up in this one at a time, and although there's no apparent purpose that's shown itself yet in it all at least it means either I am doing it all subconsciously or there is a higher power able to move life around at will. Either way it means there is a control behid the scenes and can only hope all my ambitions will work as a result. I have realised there's no virtue (quite the opposite) in suffering ordeals for success. All this jungle nonsense in I'm a celebrity does no mean doing a parachute jump or eating bugs qualifies anyone as a success. You should either do them as you like it, are paid well or not at all. I now see no credit at all in having to go through anything in life in order to score points and raise your status.
Passing qualifications is different, and can be hard or easy depending on your abilities, but an degree you found easy is no less valid than others who found the same one hard. I already read we should lose all pride in any suffering, like illness, or we'll just keep on getting it. Same for any crap. I no longer believe I need to do one more thing to show 'I have' ever again. If I do anything ambitious like a holiday or a show it'll be because I want to, not because I want to prove something. That's what they call bad medicine and equates success and growth with suffering, which is the opposite to how it should be.
Please God my life now changes to reflect the new decision never to take on any more stress to grow, and the rest can be fun and just go with the flow. Believe me I think I've had a full quota of the brown stuff already.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
It seems longer...
Back again, work is being slowly got through at last, but I suspect the blogging scene will be more improved now by writing on other blogs so people will read mine. So many more people have them now that I am wading through what I can only call very limited people to get to the rare gold in between.
One subject blogs, the dreaded link addicts, teenage waffle and non stop (poorly spelt) swearing. Fuck that for a read (note the irony there, except I can spell?).
Anyway, haircut now had, the silly woman I booked with let me down twice and said she stopped doing it, then a friend offered (not professional) and did the same job I'd have got anywhere else. Makes a change. I got in a professional traffic jam as well today, one I assumed was not permanent but seems to have been present in office hours now for 30 years with no cause. Willesden High Road. The good news is it moves it from Cricklewood Broadway so having gone that way to avoid Cricklewood ended up turning round an going back the way I came, in a storm and while darkness was falling at 4pm. Yes, London is easily the worst place on earth to drive and then half the decent roads had humps added to them.
I paid enough for 2 prostitutes (so I'm told) for a spare pair of glasses yesterday, and hope to get them made before Christmas. I don't usually pay much for anything but I didn't design my astigmatism and requires very specific lenses now I'm getting on a bit. As I see perfectly with them I am not having operations and sadly the contact lenses I got caused more pain than a chili enema. Not that I've actually had one but many morning afters the curry before gave me an idea. By the way if the lovely lady I just linked here reads this please pop in and make a comment before you go, it makes people think I have readers ;)
More jobs now than not have been knocked off the list so now it's buying a new memory card for the camera for clever shots than need it, using my free food vouchers from the Co op, fixing my bike (again) and the next lot of photos assuming it doesn't get dark at lunchtime again. My usual visitor for 'a bit of the other' has stopped for a while, that is her only asset and forcing me to go elsewhere is probably a blessing in disguise. It's a lot of trouble for not very much in return (I always prefer quality over quantity). So far there is no alternative but just about anything would do as a temporary measure, I'm only human after all and never paid for it in my life.
And finally on topical issues, the '3 metre' (sounds the size of a small van to me but only as it's close to 3 yards) storm surge in the North Sea promises to be another news stillbirth. They just said it'll cause a little minor flooding soon after closing the Thames Barrier, why they can't just wait and see what happens you can't beat nature. 999 times out of 1000 nothing is ever predicted and this is about the 998th in my memory that is highly likely not to make any newspapers once the hour passes (8am). Anticlimax generation is what the media excel in and the couple of really big storms we had were never seen beforehand, as was 9-11. Not that I want terrorism, it just points out we can't see anything really big coming, including asteroids heading for earth, (ha ha) Yellowstone Park exploding, (my arse) and a large portion of a Canary Island falling off, (hand me a hanky). One thing I can tell you is any damage from tomorrow's storm is going to be greater than the combined effects of those three wild guesses plus global warming which would actually be the majority's friend if it was real.
I am not paid by anyone for my views so probably far more reliable than the BBC. And I am not being funny either.
One subject blogs, the dreaded link addicts, teenage waffle and non stop (poorly spelt) swearing. Fuck that for a read (note the irony there, except I can spell?).
Anyway, haircut now had, the silly woman I booked with let me down twice and said she stopped doing it, then a friend offered (not professional) and did the same job I'd have got anywhere else. Makes a change. I got in a professional traffic jam as well today, one I assumed was not permanent but seems to have been present in office hours now for 30 years with no cause. Willesden High Road. The good news is it moves it from Cricklewood Broadway so having gone that way to avoid Cricklewood ended up turning round an going back the way I came, in a storm and while darkness was falling at 4pm. Yes, London is easily the worst place on earth to drive and then half the decent roads had humps added to them.
I paid enough for 2 prostitutes (so I'm told) for a spare pair of glasses yesterday, and hope to get them made before Christmas. I don't usually pay much for anything but I didn't design my astigmatism and requires very specific lenses now I'm getting on a bit. As I see perfectly with them I am not having operations and sadly the contact lenses I got caused more pain than a chili enema. Not that I've actually had one but many morning afters the curry before gave me an idea. By the way if the lovely lady I just linked here reads this please pop in and make a comment before you go, it makes people think I have readers ;)
More jobs now than not have been knocked off the list so now it's buying a new memory card for the camera for clever shots than need it, using my free food vouchers from the Co op, fixing my bike (again) and the next lot of photos assuming it doesn't get dark at lunchtime again. My usual visitor for 'a bit of the other' has stopped for a while, that is her only asset and forcing me to go elsewhere is probably a blessing in disguise. It's a lot of trouble for not very much in return (I always prefer quality over quantity). So far there is no alternative but just about anything would do as a temporary measure, I'm only human after all and never paid for it in my life.
And finally on topical issues, the '3 metre' (sounds the size of a small van to me but only as it's close to 3 yards) storm surge in the North Sea promises to be another news stillbirth. They just said it'll cause a little minor flooding soon after closing the Thames Barrier, why they can't just wait and see what happens you can't beat nature. 999 times out of 1000 nothing is ever predicted and this is about the 998th in my memory that is highly likely not to make any newspapers once the hour passes (8am). Anticlimax generation is what the media excel in and the couple of really big storms we had were never seen beforehand, as was 9-11. Not that I want terrorism, it just points out we can't see anything really big coming, including asteroids heading for earth, (ha ha) Yellowstone Park exploding, (my arse) and a large portion of a Canary Island falling off, (hand me a hanky). One thing I can tell you is any damage from tomorrow's storm is going to be greater than the combined effects of those three wild guesses plus global warming which would actually be the majority's friend if it was real.
I am not paid by anyone for my views so probably far more reliable than the BBC. And I am not being funny either.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Up down and sideways
Ups and downs really, in theory I have been told I have nothing to feel guilty for, I do as much as anyone else if I don't look at what I used to do but don't now. And I went to Brent Cross so not all lost. In practice there literally wasn't anything to do offline except a trip to the health food shop and some really shitty chores tomorrow. It's on the borderline of adequate but I know the difference. I think the rest of the week should be free but that means no work either, and the last clients didn't like me. Enough do but the ones who seem to get on fine and then vanish are a mystery. One probably thought I fancied her (the cat was a lot more fanciable, even the neighbour's one which is a male) but it was staring in pure horror if I did... No names so I can say what I like.
Leisure wise I intend to go to Hampstead next, not quite repeats for houses and people in the High Street if I can stop safely there. I am now even paying for meters when available to get photos but you only pay the minimum. The barber let me down big time so at least the old one will profit and she was better anyway. My hair looks like Einstein's now (less but similar) and people are assuming I'm homeless. No, just sexless. An article I just read told me many of my symptoms are from lack of pleasure which made sense to me. I barely touch a woman nowadays which isn't good for me, and barely speak to anyone from day to day. Physical symptoms should improve if life improved. How will that happen I wonder?
Otherwise I have the time to get more jobs done, and there's little light to take photos late so trips will be made elsewhere at last. New glasses (I can't manage with one pair really), cat supplies etc etc. Fascinating and necessary. Then selling some albums at last. No profits, just publicity. I nearly asked somewhere yesterday except I had no sample with me and they had no computer to look at the originals. I'll return and many more places to try.
If any week of my life provides more than I hope for it could be a miracle, but I live in hope.
Leisure wise I intend to go to Hampstead next, not quite repeats for houses and people in the High Street if I can stop safely there. I am now even paying for meters when available to get photos but you only pay the minimum. The barber let me down big time so at least the old one will profit and she was better anyway. My hair looks like Einstein's now (less but similar) and people are assuming I'm homeless. No, just sexless. An article I just read told me many of my symptoms are from lack of pleasure which made sense to me. I barely touch a woman nowadays which isn't good for me, and barely speak to anyone from day to day. Physical symptoms should improve if life improved. How will that happen I wonder?
Otherwise I have the time to get more jobs done, and there's little light to take photos late so trips will be made elsewhere at last. New glasses (I can't manage with one pair really), cat supplies etc etc. Fascinating and necessary. Then selling some albums at last. No profits, just publicity. I nearly asked somewhere yesterday except I had no sample with me and they had no computer to look at the originals. I'll return and many more places to try.
If any week of my life provides more than I hope for it could be a miracle, but I live in hope.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
The ultimate satsang
Plenty of activity for a change. Firstly for some reason there appears to be a whole new heap of advaita lectures online, and most I've never heard of. I think I've got it. Enlightenment has had a bit of a dodgy press. The two elements of difference and amazing experience appears to be wrong. Every person I've listened to says the one thing. If you look at how you are now, but differently, that's it.
Technically they are right. What am I now? Simple. Nothing, awareness of that nothing, and a whole lot of stuff within that such as thoughts, feelings, sounds and images. But no 'me' as such behind them, and certainly no past or future as well.
So does that mean I'm enlightened? I can see that very clearly, mainly because a couple of them actually explained it clearly. Without using the hundreds of extra pages one uses I can repeat it clearly as well. I am what is here now, consisting of awareness and stuff going on within it. What else is there? Nothing. The bonus for many is when they discover this they get a great feeling of peace, relief and often this lasts possibly indefinitely. Enlightenment is only there when it does last. And why would everyone bother to spread the word if it wasn't better to know this and be aware of it than anything we had before?
So there is nothing we need to get or be different, just see what is there now but as it is. Does it work for you?
Technically they are right. What am I now? Simple. Nothing, awareness of that nothing, and a whole lot of stuff within that such as thoughts, feelings, sounds and images. But no 'me' as such behind them, and certainly no past or future as well.
So does that mean I'm enlightened? I can see that very clearly, mainly because a couple of them actually explained it clearly. Without using the hundreds of extra pages one uses I can repeat it clearly as well. I am what is here now, consisting of awareness and stuff going on within it. What else is there? Nothing. The bonus for many is when they discover this they get a great feeling of peace, relief and often this lasts possibly indefinitely. Enlightenment is only there when it does last. And why would everyone bother to spread the word if it wasn't better to know this and be aware of it than anything we had before?
So there is nothing we need to get or be different, just see what is there now but as it is. Does it work for you?
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