Gone very quiet indeed

I've been out in between the rain the last few days, routine photos and delivering postcards and a bit of shopping. Last night being a Big Brother final meant another trip to Elstree in case I saw any of them coming out. The first time I went in 2003 they had the old marquee on the lawn and saw them all through the patio doors, as with the next when they came out and we were filmed with them. Then they pulled the curtains in 2005 so we could see nothing. I didn't bother for a couple of years as I didn't think I'd be able to see them again but just in case went up last night to see the marquee was gone and they have a bar on the corner at the front. There was a small window but had blinds and couldn't spot any faces through it, and they pulled a curtain after a while anyway, but saw a bunch of them leave the Big Mouth studio to go in, but was so far away could barely recognise them for the seconds they came into view before going inside, and it was dark of course. As Mohamed had the Afro he was pretty hard to miss, as was Kat's pink dress which was all I saw of her, and Mario's quiff. Better than nothing at least and as usual got chatting to someone else who came to watch although there were hardly any people there compared to when you could see it all. But at least the rain stopped when I got there. And with Rachel winning shows the public actually have decent taste after all.

I had my last postcards for a bookshop where they were all taken nearby, but the buggers had closed just before I got there so ended up walking around to see if there were any photos to take, with only one more shop left still open to try but the boss was away. My cleaner clearly feels sorry for me living alone and is now saying I don't eat properly. You can only do your best. I saw England just manage to beat Andorra as I actually had the right equipment to watch it, followed by a bit of Andy Murray before the rain came down and heard Amir Khan had sold himself to the devil on pay per view (after swearing he wanted to share himself with his public). I'm so pleased he was knocked out in round 1 and hope he rots now. Stupid sod. How many sportspeople of any note do we know now? Joe Calzaghe? I saw him win sportsperson of the year even though I didn't know who he was. Or most of the British public. They want to be rich but they'll never be famous. Our cricketers are doomed to obscurity and when they all retire from sport will get nowhere as their names can't live on. Who'd want to employ a boxer who had only been seen by a few thousand people every match? Only the twats who employed him in the first place I suppose. If you become really famous the money will be flowing in all your life for books, advertising, TV chats etc. but if most people say 'who?' you'll soon run out of business. If they refused to work for the bastards they'd soon have to give up.

As for plans, I literally don't have any. I know what I'm doing tomorrow and probably Monday and that's it. No short or long term. OK I need to have my eyes tested but that's not what I call plans. I've emailed as many people from the past I could find and the last two ignored me which is par for the course. And I need to work in the back garden, where the weather meant it had no function for the second year running. But long term I haven't really got a book to write (only the blogs here which would take years just to select), no more cards to print since the printers only print 100 of the same picture, I don't chat up strange women in bars like some can, and can't be arsed to try speed dating which is actually the best idea besides singles bars (which we don't have), and no longer even get any pleasure from watching the hurricanes on CNN as it is the same thing every time and really has no effect here. I will say now the Large Hadron Collider will not cause the end of the world, Steven Hawking wants it to make black holes and says it won't, and if he knows they couldn't do any harm I'd let him have that one. Having said that they could save themselves an awful lot of time and money if they want to learn the nature of the universe and study under a proper master. Those who say they've seen it didn't need any particle accelerators or the like, just a good teacher and dedication to the path.

So all I've done recently is eliminate possible people as friends or girlfriends, one by one, people never run out but chasing ones from the past will. So many of the most important jobs are not much in our own hands, what we do with our time can keep us busy but rarely determines the major events. Listening to people talking about holidays at least made me realise I was far happier locally now, as have had enough of a selection of abroad (and most of Britain as well) to realise I'd rather be here. Walking along Finchley Road with all the sights and memories meant far more to me than being in some lookalike mystery town with the same shops and cars and bus stops. There's more similarity around the world than difference and once you've been to one beach, desert and other natural feature the magic tends to wear off. As I said, my friend's parent's photos of what looked like Richmond park turned out to be Kenya, but Richmond was better. And without the germs. And even when it's boring here it's 100 times more boring abroad when there's not a lot to do. If I could go for the afternoon (it would be possible if we'd invested in the technology 30 years ago) it would be fine, but 2 weeks?